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Episode 37: Listener Submissions feat. the Edge, Matt Hardy, Lita Love Triangle & A Kenny Omega Comedy Match
60 Plays7 years ago
Join this weeks hangout as the boys watch listener submitted matches! This week they talk about the Lita love triangle, which lead Garrett down a rabbit hole of the ruthless aggression era he wasn't ready for. Also they talk about a Kenny Omega comedy match, Kenny Vs Ishii, and the most recent Southern Underground Pro show!
If you have something you want the boys to talk about be sure to leave a 5 star review on iTunes and they'll discuss anything you want!
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Predetermined, a pro wrestling hangout. I'm your host, Garrett Callender, and with me, as always, a man who at this time tomorrow will be wearing the colors of his rival team, Derek Halpin. I don't know that for a fact. It's been suggested to me that I could be wearing Chicago Cubs colors and shirt or uniform or whatever, but I don't know if it's actually gonna happen.
Wearing Rival Team Colors: A Personal Struggle
00:00:27
Speaker
Does that have been threatened with it? Does it hurt you on the inside? Is that something that like you're going to be so uncomfortable if people on the Internet see you not in white Sox gear? I'm sure that no, I'm not going to be happy about it if that's what you're asking, but I don't know whether or not. I know Megan, Megan will Megan will distribute it on the Internet to humiliate me. And besides, we're talking about it on the podcast. How much worse can it get? Well, I feel like most people listening to this are like they're talking about baseball. I pretty much just tuned out.
00:00:57
Speaker
Yeah, no. But tomorrow my girlfriend will be celebrating her birthday and I'm taking her to a Chicago Cubs baseball game. First night game. And so celebrating her birthday, taking her out, doing fun stuff. And I guess stay tuned to the end of the episode because we have another Fuck Mary Kill courtesy of my girlfriend.
00:01:19
Speaker
We're putting it at the end this time. As much as I enjoyed doing it, I feel like the most common response to it was, Jesus. They want more.
The Perils of Embarrassing Wrestling Merchandise
00:01:30
Speaker
They can act like they don't. And you know what I want? I want you to hit our goddamn music.
00:02:09
Speaker
Yeah, wearing the colors of your your least favorite team is a that's hard. I like like for me, I'm a huge St. Louis Blues fan. Derek is a Chicago Blackhawks fan. If we ever had a bet where I had to wear one of his jerseys out in public, I just as well hang myself. That's how I feel. So that's how I can get rid of you.
00:02:30
Speaker
That's all it takes. Just wait for you to fall asleep. It's pretty simple. Slip the jersey on you? Yeah, no, it's not something I would particularly enjoy doing. I've done it one time for her in the privacy of my home, but...
00:02:46
Speaker
No, not out in public. Fuck that.
Listener Engagement and Comedy in Wrestling
00:02:48
Speaker
Is there a wrestler shirt you would be embarrassed to wear to an event? There's a ton of wrestler shirts I would be embarrassed to wear to an event. What's the first one that comes to your mind where you're like, if I had to wear this out of the house? Any John Cena shirt from the last 10 years?
00:03:07
Speaker
any John Cena shirt. I'm sure that it fins somebody, but I don't care. Yeah, no, any of the bright shit that says hustle, loyalty, respect. Hey, I can't do a bright color like that. I need to, you know, we wear a lot of black shirts. That's what they give them to. They're slimming.
00:03:23
Speaker
you were talking that's another one of the things that I guess wrestling bands you know you talk about the stench they have a particular odor at the show yeah a lot of black shirts that's another thing closets full of them oh my entire closet is black shirts if I you know what I actually enjoy Cena so I wouldn't be embarrassed you asked if you would if I would be embarrassed wearing a some wrestling shirt
00:03:48
Speaker
I would not be happy to wear like seeing his bright lime green shirt with him like saluting and running down the ramp with like the what the marquee letters saying hustle to loyalty and respect. I would also be embarrassed to wear that B team shirt. I would actually be embarrassed to wear most WWE shop shirts right now. They have, they've slipped a little bit in creating shirts that I think we all want to buy. They have been shit.
00:04:14
Speaker
But let's stay positive because we have such a smorgasbord on tap today. So much, what would you call it? Fan interaction with this episode? As you know, we're going to go ahead and do this right now. Rate, review, subscribe. If you leave a five star review and let us know it was your review, let us know on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. I don't care. Let us know and we will watch whatever you want us to watch.
00:04:42
Speaker
Worst match you've ever seen, best match you've ever seen. I don't know if I have to watch Jesse Ventura talk about some conspiracy theories. I'm up for that. Give me anything. You can make us watch a whole Hall of Fame ceremony. Oh, fuck. What? Don't tell them that. Well, you've been pushing the fucking Total Bellas thing, so I'm putting that out there. Oh, that's fun, though. The Hall of Fame is hard.
00:05:06
Speaker
I don't know, the Bushwhackers have been my favorite Hall of Fame induction ever. Hey, that was a great one. What was your least favorite? Maybe Mr. T. Just because it's one of the weirdest ones in recent, you know what? No, that was a memorable one. That was a memorable one. If I sat through that. That's all you really ask for, right? Is memories. Like you're asking, like you don't want it to be boring and too emotional. You would rather it be like ridiculous and memorable.
00:05:34
Speaker
Yeah, like five years ago, Mr. T's mama had her WrestleMania moment. But going back to where I was going with this, this is an episode where we kind of check off a lot of things on the list of things that fans have requested for us to check out. What's the first one we got on the docket? We're clearing the docket today. We're clearing the docket. Well, the first one,
00:06:00
Speaker
comes from our good buddy Lowell, who we did meet at Starcast. And whose name you said many times. And I'm gonna say Lowell as many times as I can. And Lowell requested a comedy match from, what was it, a local Winnipeg promotion? Yeah, a local Winnipeg wrestler named Tyson Smith. That's a standout name. But Tyson Smith. Also known as Mr. Kenny Omega.
00:06:31
Speaker
I think he's doing way better with that name. Anyways, Lowell requested a comedy match for us to check out. I don't know if we, we haven't really covered a ton of comedy matches to this point. We've gone back and done your totally blanchard shit, but we haven't done a lot of comedy. Hey, that totally blanchard shit was awesome.
00:06:50
Speaker
I wasn't, it wasn't a knock. I'm just saying that we've done, we've done some old school, what, AWA, like type, type, type deal. What do you wear? Yeah. I feel like that's what we were diving deeper into, to older, older matches here. And this week we got a couple newer ones or, you know, at least within the last last 20 years.
00:07:11
Speaker
Hey man, we watched fan cam footage of this match. What was it? PCW is what they called? Yeah, PCW in... was it in Montreal? It was, I think it was in Winnipeg. I thought it was a Winnipeg promotion because that's where he's from, right? Okay, that sounds right. Yeah, first comedy match. Right off the bat. Well, one, like you said, we watched this through fan cams. As far as I could tell, there were no actual cameras filming this event.
00:07:37
Speaker
There may have been, but we didn't find that footage. We did not have access to that, so we got the same view we would have if we were just in this bar that Kenny Omega wrestled at. And from what I understand, I believe it was, what was it, in 2017? Yeah, they said in the video it was 2017. So would this have been... This would have been before his second match with Okada.
00:08:01
Speaker
This was in during the build to your Wrestle Kingdom that you went to. Oh, so he had just had that match with Okada then. Like I know that at the end of the match, Kenny was plugging, telling everyone to go watch to watch Wrestle Kingdom because he was facing Jericho. OK, so I think he had just come off of that. That would have been around the G1.
00:08:24
Speaker
I think because I think Lowell specified this is the one where he got like the six and one fourth star match or this was like right after that. So he is coming off of a really really hot match and is going home to be part of PCW which right off the bat
Kenny Omega: Comedy Wrestling Analysis
00:08:42
Speaker
favorite thing about this venue from what I could tell from the fan cams, because I did watch it from two different angles. Lowell, I did the work on this one. I watched it twice, watched it from two different sides. I fucking love that wherever you're watching wrestling just has like six TVs playing hockey.
00:09:00
Speaker
In the back row, of course, it's Canadian. Derek and I are big hockey fans and also obviously big wrestling fans. We don't have a hockey podcast. We're practically Canadian. Never been to Canada, love it to death. If I could live anywhere in the world, Canada. Got to get that Tim Hortons and just the smiles of the Canadian people.
00:09:22
Speaker
My other baseball team is the Toronto Blue Jays who are not doing very well at the moment. But hey, we're almost Canadian. They were not on the screen though. These folks were watching hockey. They had Kenny Omega in front of them. You could still see a couple faces looking up to check the score. Yeah. Biggest wrestler in the world in your bar looking up at hockey. Love it. Respect it. Keep it up, Canada. I also think
00:09:49
Speaker
How many matches do you know start off with a test of strength involving a dildo? This one. This is the first one I've seen. And I think what Lowell wanted us to talk about was like how we felt about Kenny Omega having these amazing matches and then going back and doing this comedy match.
00:10:09
Speaker
I think it's definitely a shocker and it was not like by any means like if you're looking for a barn burner of a wrestling match this was not that it's a comedy match people slower paced couple weird botches if you want to call them that where they didn't quite get the hold locked in or whatever but um no a couple fun spots in here legos
00:10:30
Speaker
Well, okay, let's start towards the beginning though. You brought up the dildo. So they mentioned... Don't shoot that under the rug. Kenny Omega is wearing his black tights. He's not wearing the full pants. He just has on the trunks. And it looks like he's got a Spider-Man logo in the back. Yeah, and he's poo-bear in it. So he's just got on like an orange t-shirt from a local business.
00:10:50
Speaker
It looks like and they're talking about the other wrestler that's wearing a multicolor tutu. Pretty flamboyant guy talking about penises somewhere in there. And he pulls up Kenny Omega's shirt over his head and points to how big his penis is. And then I believe reaches into the front of his pants to pull out a dildo.
00:11:10
Speaker
I believe the match started with some kind of interaction and then Kenny Omega gets mad and starts yelling and the guy says to him, before the blood rushes to your head up here, it looks like it's rushing to your head down here and he pulls Kenny's shirt up and lo and behold, there was a dildo sticking out of his pants.
00:11:28
Speaker
And I think the best thing that happened at this point is they took the dildo and it was kind of like a spot you'd see in a movie where somebody's holding a knife over the face. Actually, like the Magnum TA, Tully Blanchard match where they're trying to kill each other with that broken chair. And eventually one of them test a strength. One of them screamed, I quit during that. But during this, they're knifing each other's face with this dildo and it goes straight into Kenny's mouth.
00:11:55
Speaker
Right into his mouth, right in there. My first thought with this is, holy fuck, why doesn't Randy Orton have these kind of homecoming matches in St. Louis? My first thought was, what a warm up for Chris Jericho. He's out there promoting Wrestle Kingdom, and he's got a dildo in his mouth. If you enjoyed seeing this dick in my mouth tonight, tune in to Wrestle Kingdom where I fight Y2J.
00:12:23
Speaker
I don't mind seeing Kenny Omega do comedy matches, I mean I've seen him do a match with Speedball Mike Bailey where he chainsawed him in the penis with his chainsaw arm. I don't think I mind him doing comedy matches, I don't think I mind anyone doing a comedy match as long as I guess it's not broadcast everywhere to kind of undermine his badassness on an international level.
00:12:45
Speaker
But as far as like a local show, that's fine. This was entertaining as hell at different parts. So you're saying if, let's say Suzuki, because I always pick Suzuki. If there's just a match where halfway through Suzuki pulls out a dildo and is shoving it into Kenny Omega's mouth, you got issues if it's at like Tokyo Dome. I feel like you're asking, but you know the answer. Yes.
00:13:10
Speaker
You're like, oh, you're being Jim Cornette now, because you won't just let it happen. No, man, that ain't my thing. I was fine watching it on a local independent level. This was as entertaining as hell at different points, but yeah. I actually did witness a match that wasn't intended to be a comedy match turn into one. WrestleMania weekend, Will Ospreay had just come off of that New Japan match against Marty Skirrell, where he basically broke his neck on the apron.
00:13:37
Speaker
I'm
00:13:54
Speaker
and it was a motherfucker of a match like they beat the hell out of each other and they were coming up for the next progress show and will osprey basically comes out and says hey guys i'm sorry i've wrestled a lot of matches this weekend uh i don't know if you just saw the one i just did i can't do it again this was supposed to be a title match we're doing an intergender tag match it's gonna be comedy let's go
00:14:20
Speaker
And then they ended up doing like voodoo doll spots throughout it where they were. It was a great match. It was fun to watch. I had never actually seen a wrestler come out though and be like, hey guys, I'm real beat up right now. My neck hurts. We're doing a comedy match. You're going to deal with it.
00:14:34
Speaker
But this was Kenny going out of his way for a pre-planned comedy match. Which I guess when he makes an appearance on any level it's special, but I guess this is even more rare? Which was kind of the point of why Lowell wanted us to watch it, I guess. There was a lot go- I mean, it's hard for me to think past him just with the dildo stuck in his mouth. I was gonna say, it's hard to go anywhere once you know, oh yeah, there was a dildo spot in the match. I mean, that's a hell of a way to start it.
00:15:01
Speaker
Well, they broke it. Well, they broke out either the Legos. They broke out what? The that was the marshmallows. It was marshmallows. I had I didn't know if it was cotton balls or marshmallows. Neither would have surprised me. Well, I think when you're watching something like this, the most interesting thing to follow is how they work this match, because obviously everybody there wants to see Kenny. So he has to get his shit in at some point. But this is I mean, what, 20, 25 minutes?
00:15:29
Speaker
Yeah, I would say about 25 minutes. I mean, I know the whole clip total was, you know, probably over a half hour, you know, including intro and outro and everything. But he did eventually towards the end start getting to some V triggers and some hard hitting shit. But leading up to there, it was a lot of comedy spots of, you know, using Legos as thumbtacks, really selling hard on the mollows. Absolutely. And now this was this was I mean, it was it was pretty long for a comedy match, but I'm glad we checked it out.
00:16:01
Speaker
I don't have a problem with him doing comedy matches. Obviously I love comedy matches in general. I love Chuck Taylor. This one I thought went a tad bit long.
00:16:12
Speaker
Yeah. But at the same time, if you have Kenny Omega, you keep him as long as you fucking can. For sure. If you guys want to check this match out and you have access to it, go to YouTube. It's PCW Kenny Omega. You'll find it. It says it's from 2016, November 25th, but it's from 2017. Well, how about we post it on our Facebook page so people have a reason to even go to it.
00:16:36
Speaker
We'll post it on our Facebook and Twitter, but you compare a match like this, which is all fun, dildo, marshmallow, Lego spots, and lots of sexuality scattered throughout the match. I mean, if you had an issue with our Mary Fuck Kill segment a couple episodes ago, maybe this isn't the match for you. This isn't for you if you're turned off by that stuff, but compare this match to a match like Kenny Omega has with Ishii.
00:17:05
Speaker
Good God, I think there's actually moments, so Ishii and Omega had a match, I believe, on the 15th, so what, last week, sometime? It was a title shot, or Ishii had a title shot, and Ishii is a guy that, you know, when you see him, you're like, oh, he's probably not gonna beat Kenny Omega. But he always hits people so fucking hard that you're like, there's a chance that he could win this.
00:17:31
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I mean, what's the thing that makes it so dramatic? Is it the sheer fact that he knows cells? Half of Kenny's moves, they don't affect him? And I believe it, because the man looks like he's just made of, I would say, steel. Like he eats lightning and craps thunder kind of thing. He looks like he's just made of cinder blocks. Like, Ishii is a human fire hydrant.
00:17:56
Speaker
and he's stiff as hell oh my god there's still moments in this match though where i love this new version of kenny where kenny omega with a title is kind of a cocky motherfucker yeah that definitely came through in this match he really played it up there's a moment in this thing where he does you know the the terminator spot where everybody you know they bang the uh the terminator theme and then he flies over the top rope
00:18:19
Speaker
Yeah. And he lands on Ishii so hard, then looks straight into the camera and says, play the replay. Play the replay. I know you're going to. And then they even say they're like, well, taking it from director Kenny Omega, we're going to hit you with the replay. Was that where he hit the V trigger and then he did the double stomp to the outside? Dude, you mean on the table? No, when he was hanging offside the ring.
00:18:48
Speaker
No that was after, well he had just done the flip and landed on Ishii and the camera was right next to him and he just looked straight into the camera and said that. But the spot that you just said the double stomp, so he puts Ishii on the announcer's table and then springboards off the top rope to basically give a coup de gras to Ishii. And it looked like Ishii was just made of wax.
00:19:12
Speaker
because his feet slipped straight off of E.G. and he just smashed right on the ground. It looked so fucking painful. How is he still wrestling right now with his foot? Or is it an ankle? What is he dealing with right now, man? Doesn't he have like a heel fracture?
00:19:31
Speaker
I mean, that's, is that gonna heal? Like if he keeps wrestling or does, like how does that work? I mean, it's, I have a feeling the doctor's gonna say, it'd be better if you didn't. Well, sure, but I mean, how does a wound like that work? Like, I mean, if, even if you're working, like I guess if you're still doing your thing, I guess maybe it heals a little bit, but it's certainly gonna take a long time. It's hard for the champ to take a day off.
00:19:57
Speaker
Yeah, because I know he's been waiting for this for a long time. Well, when we were at all in, I think we talked about this, but we were sitting further off off to the side that we could see them exit the stage. Yeah. Can he look completely fine until he hit the exit when he was leaving? And he was just limping like he was missing a foot. Believe it or not, he was acting out there. He's in actual agony. He is a human. He's a terminator, according to according to his gimmick.
00:20:28
Speaker
I feel like you can still see elements of Kenny being really funny, even through a hard hitting match like this.
00:20:42
Speaker
Yeah. And Ishii's just no selling the shit out of everything because look at him. That guy doesn't look like he's ever hurt in a day in his life. And he chopped Kenny so fucking hard and Kenny just kind of turned and looked at the camera like, what have I done?
00:21:01
Speaker
Why did I become a professional wrestler? Oh, shit. What did you feel about Kenny spitting in his face? Oh, don't do that. Don't. If I had to make a list of 17 people that I don't want to spit in the face of, is she one of them? She's probably around 10. And that's still pretty high.
00:21:28
Speaker
But talk about the big surprise on this, man. Sorry, what's up? Talk about the big surprise at the end of this match. Well, to me, the the something that. Did I miss the surprise? Is she winning? The title match. I think we watched two different matches. Oh, shit. Did you watch the G1 match?
00:21:50
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, Ishii beat him in the G1 match. And yeah, we're talking about two different matches.
Soap Opera Storylines in Wrestling
00:21:56
Speaker
We're talking about two different matches. So yeah, Ishii beat Kenny in the G1 and got a title shot. I don't think there's any getting this one back. You can't just say Kenny versus Ishii. They wrestled a month ago.
00:22:11
Speaker
Well, that's why I said Kenny versus Ishii, because on the docket thing, it was one of the most recent ones you could choose from to watch. I picked the most recent one. They wrestled last week. Yeah, that's great. Well, Derek, you should really check this thing out. When you tell me the surprise, I'm like, did I miss the part where Ishii is now the goddamn heavyweight champion? I watched the good one. This is a good one. That's why I said watch it.
00:22:40
Speaker
You didn't say to watch this one! You said Kenny versus Ishii! I said to wrestle in the 15th, motherfucker! I didn't want to YouTube! Yo, you went to YouTube? Yeah, which one of our fans requested this match? No one requested this! Right, you did! I requested it, and you know what I said? I said, watch, it's on the 15th. You have the log end of the New Japan. You know what, Derek? We're done. Show's over.
00:23:07
Speaker
That was easy. Well, now that we got rid of him, folks, what do you want to talk about next? Lowell. Who is that? Shit. Not Lowell. I know who Lowell is. I'm just meaning you. You're still here. We should give proper shout out to Lowell since we just kind of moved over his comedy match that he requested. Lowell. Love saying your name. Love that you're from Canada. Love you to death. We watched two different Kenny Omega Ishi matches.
00:23:35
Speaker
I've seen both. I was like, how could you miss the spot where he slipped off of him on the table? Yeah, no, I watched something completely different. Well, you know what? That's fine. We're going to leave it all in. They need to hear what happens behind the scenes. Sometimes there's a miscommunication. That's the first one. That's it. That's the only one. Honestly, that feels like that's the only one.
00:23:56
Speaker
Well, I am very excited to move on to the next listener submitted match though because this led me down a rabbit hole I was never expecting to travel through.
00:24:06
Speaker
Yeah, this has gotten brought up by, you know, one of our listeners, her name's Pilar, and she requested that we kind of just, she was kind of vague though, she said, just to cover the Matt Hardy, Edge, Lita love triangle, right? She did, and when I brought that up to you, you're like, I need something specific, that's vague. I didn't know anything about this. So I, this would have definitely been like between senior year of high school and college, freshman year of college, I believe.
00:24:37
Speaker
Yes, it was over the summer. I had no idea of any of this storyline. This is one that no one has ever brought up to me. This is one of those rare instances where a real life event outside of wrestling somehow works its way in the promoter, in this case Vincent Kennedy McMahon, decides, fuck it, I'm gonna use it on my television show. But does he use it? Okay, go ahead and explain to them the situation.
00:25:04
Speaker
So the story, as I understand it, is that for, you know, I guess at this point, maybe five or six years, Matt Hardy and Lita had a real, you know, off screen relationship. They had known each other. They admitted an independent show. I guess since about 1998 and 1999, they had been together and Matt had an injury.
00:25:25
Speaker
And while he was out with the injury, I guess Lita adopted some kind of relationship with Adam Copeland, also known as Edge, and they had an affair. And Matt was understandably livid, and I guess he went, I'm telling the story the best I can. And you're saying it's so nice. You're like, she.
00:25:48
Speaker
She adopted a relationship and I was like, Jesus, she fucked Edge. She was fucking Edge. I'm trying to show how eloquent I can be if necessary. OK, I'll wait till the end. So I guess she has an affair with Edge. And like I said, Matt's understandably upset about it. And he I guess in several interviews or several Internet tirades expressed how pissed off and hurt he was.
00:26:16
Speaker
and this gave Vince cause to fire him for doing things out of character. So Vince fires him and they go on and they make this into a thing where Lita and Ed you're now an on-screen couple and they're getting a ton of heat for it while a few months passes and they rehire Matt Hardy and they turn this into an angle and it leads to a series of matches between the two that are really brutal
00:26:39
Speaker
And my understanding is that for everyone involved, it was really, really hard to do and really, really awkward. But I guess Edge and Lita wanted to do it because it was an opportunity for Matt after he had been fired for him to do something meaningful and get him rehired. And they felt like the only way they were going to be able to move past whatever had happened is if they just kind of embraced it and went with it. And thus we have this little feud between the two or I guess between the three.
00:27:09
Speaker
It's so weird that they had any of them do this. Right? Is this, I mean, it almost felt like they were punishing the three of them. That's maybe, I don't know, maybe they were punishing themselves too. But I don't think anything could be, so not knowing anything about this, and as I'm reading about it, I was like, what the fuck is happening? Like they did this? And then I look up, I go to SummerSlam 2005.
00:27:35
Speaker
And the match I got, I was like, so you're telling me this guy just got cheated on? Like this, he's a cuck. He got cucked. In the year 2018, that word can mean a lot of things, but this is the literal definition of cuck. Matt Hardy got cheated upon, and he's a cuck. He got cucked hard, man, and then you have him go in there and fight the guy he got cucked against?
00:28:04
Speaker
Yeah. And me not knowing there was going to be a round two of this, basically, Edge just got to look like the coolest dude in the world where he's like, guess what? Stole your girlfriend, beat the shit out of you. The match had to end because I kicked your ass so bad.
00:28:21
Speaker
Is it Jari when you go back and watch a match from this era of WWE where they're allowed to... blade? And they're just bleeding extra hard on the mat? Well, this did remi- Yes, yes it does. It's still, it's shocking to get to see this happen with wrestlers that we up until recently were still watching.
00:28:42
Speaker
Well, yeah, I mean, but even like when we watched, you know, Hell in a Cell last week, there's blood spots in there, but then they're not nearly as, not nearly as, you know, what would you call it?
00:28:53
Speaker
Yeah, it's not nearly as much. It wasn't a fucking horror show. Yeah, and they try to avoid it as much as they can. And this series of matches between Edge and Matt Hardy, man, it's gory. I mean, I guess that was the only way they could have done it. If they were gonna bother to have these two have a feud over somebody getting cheated upon, then it had to be brutal, because it had to be realistic.
00:29:20
Speaker
They love to throw a stipulation onto a match in WWE. They're like, if we can get a fucking gimmick in here, why don't we? I've never seen a match that deserved a gimmick more than this one.
00:29:32
Speaker
Yeah. This is the one that they're like, we're going to let them go out there and have a regular singles match. What? Oh, just wait and see. I bet that one wants to kill that one. And this, just talking about the Magnum TA Tully Blanchard match, there were kind of elements of that in this. Yeah, it wasn't as nearly as long.
00:29:52
Speaker
but uh this was a slugfest the ref stopped this match let's be clear edge wins but it's because he's kicking matt hardy in the head while he's bleeding and the ref says okay i think that's enough and stops the match
00:30:05
Speaker
So not only does Matt Hardy lose the love of his life, which they keep showing us video packages for where he's saying things like, Edge took everything away from me. He took away my only shot at a family. Who do you talk about? Stakes. You're saying that there's not enough stakes in current pro wrestling. Are there any more stakes than this man doesn't get to have a family anymore? Yeah. So then they did a rematch.
00:30:34
Speaker
At Unforgiven 2005 and this one was in a steel cage. I actually like this match better I especially like the sequence towards the end and Matt Hardy goes over in this one, but not before he has He has a moment where he gives a twist of fate to Lita He gets edge bloodied up this time and he's kicking edge in the face smashing his face into the ivory side of the cage into the what would you call it the thing that keeps the cage together and
00:31:02
Speaker
but uh yeah he's beating the shit out of edge in this match and it's pretty brutal and then he ends the match with a dive off the top of the cage for a leg drop covers him one two three think about was what happened to his spine yeah like jumping that hard landing on your tailbone you ever thought about jumping on off the roof of your house just onto your ass
00:31:24
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know how you do that. Like that sounds scary even just thinking about doing it on like a bed or a cushy surface. The weirdest part about this match was after he beats him, he goes, who's the cuck now? And Edge is like, it's still you.
00:31:39
Speaker
It turns out they did have another match on Monday Night Raw, I think it was like on October 3rd or something of that year. It was a ladder match and I guess it was a loser leaves Raw match and Edge ended up winning that one. Edge wins this feud. Let's be clear. It's, you know, there's so much actual sadness happening in this match though. Yeah. This is a, this is how Vince books.
00:32:06
Speaker
He's a sad, this is how reality is kind of guy. This is the way the world works and we need to show it on television. It's a slice of life. What Edge did was wrong, but not so wrong that I'm gonna kick him off raw and send him to SmackDown. No, Matt, that's for you. I think it's awkward, Matt. I think it's best if you go. You should just be happy you have a job again, Matt.
00:32:30
Speaker
Yeah, you said he got fucking fired? And in the storyline, Edge goes, I brought you back because I feel bad for you. Now I'm going to beat your ass at SummerSlam. Are you a fan of seeing real life shit that's actually emotionally draining and stuff like that? Is that hard for you to watch in a wrestling angle or do you love it?
00:32:53
Speaker
I mean, we don't get that at all anymore, or at least to this extent, but how often does this type of storyline happen? Not often. So for it being the time, I was, I mean, this was a soap opera. Do you wish you had seen it live while it was playing out during that time? Well, it made me realize this match may have been the thing that started Total Divas.
00:33:16
Speaker
Oh my God. They're like, we need more of that drama. That's why you got, you know, Nikki Bella and John Cena. Then Dolph Ziggler comes in and is like, hey, remember, I was a pretty good lover in the past. See, that should have should have done more with that. I need more real life drama.
00:33:32
Speaker
For real, who do you think this was the hardest on? Playing this angle out. You think so? Yes. Well, maybe Lita, because she probably got the worst shit said to her from the crowd. For sure. And from the fucking announcers, because even at one point, Jerry the King Lawler's like, he basically is like, well, if she's fucking people in the locker room, maybe me next.
00:33:53
Speaker
Does he really miss that? I mean, he doesn't word it like that, but it's not worded much differently. Yeah. No, I imagine lead had the worst stuff said to her. So that sucks. But at the same time, what happened to Matt's career after this? Was this kind of the beginning of the end of that part?
00:34:14
Speaker
He got another run. I don't know if anything really great happened after this. Don't we have some fans of this podcast who are big hardy fans? They could fill us in on what happened after Matt went to SmackDown. I think he had a tag team with Ray or something. Everybody's like, I'm coming to you to get the information. I'm like, well, you came to the wrong place. We're not experts. We're just shooting the shit about it, man. I'm watching this guy get cheated on, and then he gets his ass beat at SummerSlam. Mind you, it's been 13 years.
00:34:45
Speaker
I just, I feel like one day if I get cheated on, I going to realize I'm going to this, it gets worse. Yeah, it does get worse than this feeling. Then the next bad feeling is bleeding all over all over the place. You get a demotion and there's no act. And here's actually the worst part from Matt's perspective at January, just a few months after this edge becomes WWE champion.
00:35:11
Speaker
That's because he's so cool. Because he fucked a guy's girlfriend. Yeah beat him up. He decided that you know his his need to come ended up being more important than Jeff or Matt Hardy's need to have a family to come. Well.
00:35:30
Speaker
we can't all word things as eloquently as you. And then I think it ended after he won the WWE championship. That's, that's the segment where he had the live sex celebration in the middle of the ring with Lita. So Lita's the real winner in all of this, right?
00:35:47
Speaker
I feel yeah now I feel bad she was a great wrestler and then that had to be a thing she had to do yep man pro wrestling wrestling it'll get you it's a motherfucker it's making a cuck out of all not trying to make light of lead of struggles but man that's just a tragic fact that they did it
00:36:06
Speaker
I mean, I love when, when wrestling angles skirt reality, like I love when they talk about like CM Punk's pipe bomb. You talk about some of these other segments where like there's a hint of, oh, this is a little bit like real life. Now this is, oh yeah, this really happened. Your punishment is to go act this out on my television show.
00:36:24
Speaker
Just wow. Have you ever gone into work and had to say to your boss, hey, I need to tell you something. Chris and accounting fucked my wife. And then they say, Garrett, you're fired. And then you leave. And then he decides like, well, you know what? I decided it was unfair to fire you, Garrett. You and Chris can fight it out in the parking lot. And whoever wins has a job.
00:36:50
Speaker
And whoever loses has to go, they can keep their job, but they're getting shipped to a different, like a location that's not from here. Garrett, you're getting transferred to Knoxville. My whole life is here. No, Garrett, your whole life was here. Chris took just your family. You're really downplaying something that's sad that happened to a human being who just retired. You mean I am? Yes, you're making a joke out of it.
00:37:18
Speaker
I am making a joke out of it because goddamn Vince McMahon made a joke out of it. Vince McMahon made a brilliant storyline out of it. You are making a joke out of it. This is not comedy wrestling Garrett. This is a professional wrestling angle. I'm trying to make Matt laugh so he doesn't cry.
00:37:38
Speaker
I'm sure Matt. Matt has a family. And guess what else he has coming out? A motherfucking reality show on WWE Network. It's true. It's damn true. What is it gonna be like the Woken? Is he Woken or broken? What happened? Did they ever figure out what he was in WWE? He's Woken.
00:37:58
Speaker
Is he? I've heard them use broken. They don't know. They don't know. Hey, I need to... Okay, before we go into anything else with this, I don't want to get too far away from SummerSlam 2005 because, Pilar, I need to thank you for this. I enjoyed... Don't get me wrong, I absolutely enjoyed looking through, you know, this love triangle and, you know, getting to feel some real emotions, some real life emotions.
00:38:27
Speaker
But nothing brought me more real life emotions than what happened after this. Because I thought to myself, if this happened, what the fuck are they following this with? Like, what has to be the thing that followed a real life affair?
00:38:43
Speaker
We bring you WWE in the year 2005. Good Lord, Pilar. Do you know what came next? Do you know? I just happened to leave it running just to see what the next match was. And when I saw the promo for what I was about to witness, there was not a chance in hell I was turning it off. Dominic, I'm your puppy. You're gonna learn to love me.
00:39:07
Speaker
Holy shit. So the match that came on SummerSlam 2005 following this was Eddie Guerrero versus Ray Mysterio fighting for the custody of a small boy named Dominic.
Wild Storylines of the Ruthless Aggression Era
00:39:23
Speaker
That's Ray's son.
00:39:26
Speaker
Dude, how had no- I feel like I missed out on a whole bunch of shit. I've been telling you this for years. Why didn't you specify this is what I was missing out on? There's a lot of shit!
00:39:42
Speaker
Dude, is there going through this thing? I get to hear sentences like this. Also, give Michael Cole a fucking raise. We need to lay off this man, because he had to say this sentence in full sincerity, and he deserves a goddamn Emmy for it. He had to say, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in WWE history, we have a ladder match to determine the custody of a child. And the courts were so proud on that day.
00:40:12
Speaker
Oh, and before this happens, they're like, be sure to pick up the new album, Remedy, by Seether. So they made sure to get a Seether plug in there.
00:40:23
Speaker
Jesus Christ. So, I don't know. I was just expecting something lighthearted. I get to watch a match about the custody of a child who is the most baby-faced, wide-eyed, cute child they have sitting in the front row. For all I fucking know, this is another one where Eddie's like, yeah, Ray, sorry. I fucked your wife. That's my kid. And they're like, well, make it. This is what we're doing. Who else has dirty laundry to air on TV? Yeah.
00:40:50
Speaker
This was a sentence between Cole and Taz. Cole goes, Dominic is absolutely devastated. And Taz goes, oh, absolutely. So here's the funny twist of this. I wasn't just joking earlier. When Matt Hardy got kicked off of Raw to go to SmackDown, he had to go form a tag team with Rey Mysterio.
00:41:16
Speaker
Oh, you're shitting me. Which was right after this angle. And then they called themselves the sad boys. The sad boys. But he, okay, so this match starts Eddie comes out being a real piece of shit. And when Ray comes out, he still explodes out of the floor like he's Superman. You think in a really serious situation like this, Ray wouldn't have exploded out of the floor. He would have maybe just run to the ring and beat that guy's ass so he could have custody of the boy he loves.
00:41:44
Speaker
Yeah, because this basically turned into like a it's kind of like a real-life Downton Abbey but with blood It's like I never got to see mr. Bates have to climb a ladder My question is did you ever I mean you're just finding out about this. Did you ever see the I'm your poppy shirts? Yes, I didn't know what that meant
00:42:07
Speaker
You had no idea what it was in reference to and now you do. Well, yeah. And now I have to have one. What's sad is that that was like Eddie Guerrero's last shirt was in reference to that angle. Like the night that they did his tribute when he passed away, when everyone's standing out on the stage, everyone's wearing like an I'm your poppy shirt. Oh my God.
00:42:27
Speaker
Oh my god. That's what that's in reference to. Now you know, Pilar, you've done everyone on this podcast a great service. I'm not done, Derek. Garrett, what else can be said? I can bring out more shit from this era. At one point during this fucking match, Michael Cole says both of my boys are adopted and starts talking very earnestly about adoption while two men are fighting for a briefcase.
00:42:54
Speaker
Did you just write down a bunch of quotes and you want to get through your list of quotes? Oh, I'm going through because I'm like, I will never remember all this shit. Maybe give me the heads up next time. Like, oh, I've got like a I've got like a spiral notebook here of things I wrote down between Michael Cole and Taz. OK, yeah, I wrote down a lot of lines. Like, for instance, just go through them. Here's another one. Eddie claims to be he's addicted to manipulation. And then I was thinking, like, well, you need to show the courts this.
00:43:22
Speaker
You've got all this footage that shows that he's not a good father. He doesn't need to be erasing this child. He's doing it for the wrong reasons. It's a pro wrestling program. Like, are the courts gonna be like, eh, you should be nicer on that wrestling show.
00:43:47
Speaker
as we've said before on the show, it's weird watching a company have an anti-bullying campaign when bullying is such a key important
00:43:55
Speaker
piece of wrestling storytelling. This goes way beyond bullying, my friend. Back to back goes way beyond bullying. But I have to say, this ladder match was a motherfucker. It was so good.
00:44:12
Speaker
I didn't watch the ladder match, Garrett. You'll have to. There were, I mean, there were a lot of really scary parts of this. I mean, there was a part where Ray, they had the ladder set up under the briefcase and Ray kind of angled one in, so it was just kind of resting and he ran up it like he was running up a slide. And he goes to slam Eddie off of the top of the ladder onto this one that's angled. And when he hits, the whole fucking thing tips over and Ray just falls into a heap in the middle of these ladders. Definitely not planned.
00:44:43
Speaker
There's a point when he pulls Eddie down and Eddie looks like he tweaks his leg and he is swearing so much. Which led me to believe that he actually fucked up his leg in that moment, but he did climb the ladder again. So maybe I was getting worked. Maybe I'm getting worked in this boy Dominic actually wasn't, he didn't belong to either of them, but he had blonde hair. So I was led to believe it is Ray. I love when you get worked. It's my favorite.
00:45:10
Speaker
So you're telling me that this boy did belong to one of them. This was wrestling. Wrestling is real right there. At the time I believed it. I believe that it was real. I don't know if it's true. Is a freshman in college like these two have some issues to sort out. And this does seem like the best way to do it.
00:45:32
Speaker
Well, no, I meant like I meant I, I thought Dominic was actually Ray's kid. Like they were using him for the angle the same way they're presumably using AJ Styles and his wife for the Joe Styles feud right now. I assume that they, they got real people to stand in for the part.
00:45:51
Speaker
Wendy, I'm your dad now. Yeah, I guess they are kind of doing the same. Wendy, I'm your puppy. But until they let AJ Styles know that he is going to lose legal custody of his child to Samoa Joe, what are the stakes? Just not what they were back in 2005, man. Not enough child custody hearings being done in the squared circle. I like to learn a little something with my wrestling.
00:46:20
Speaker
What did you learn from this? Don't be a cuck, man. Pilar, thank you again. What else do I need to tell you from this era? Did I tell you about McCain and leadership? Did you know about that? This isn't the sex with the dead body in Triple H, right? No, everyone knows about Katie Vick. This is a completely different thing.
00:46:47
Speaker
There wasn't going on. There was an angle where Kane forced Lita to marry him. I think that that was what was going to happen. And apparently he had sexually assaulted her and she was pregnant with Kane's unborn child. And then I think there was a miscarriage or something like that. There was some really fucked up shit going on in this era. Was it was it the ruthless aggression era?
00:47:13
Speaker
This was the Ruthless Aggression Era. So this is what Ruthless Aggression meant, was just insane soap opera storylines? I mean, that was happening during the Attitude Era too. But yeah, the Ruthless Aggression Era wasn't like... I mean, shit, during Eddie Guerrero's fucking feud with Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar brought out a Mariachi band to mock Eddie Guerrero.
00:47:39
Speaker
This was, what am I thinking now? Was it 14 years ago? Yeah? God, I mean, there's a lot of stuff. I can't just fucking tell you everything that was crazy. Derek, in the next 15 minutes, I need to hear the entire Ruthless Aggression Era. I think what I've learned from this is I basically sat out the entire Ruthless Aggression Era. You did. For the love of God, if you can think of any really obscure, weird ones that I missed out on,
00:48:07
Speaker
please please message us and let me know what I need to be watching because I enjoyed these two storylines so much just because they were so fucking bizarre and if there is something from the ruthless aggression you want to want us to watch remember leave us the five stars leave us the review request it we have to watch it if you leave us the review we are obligated to watch whatever you put forward to us
00:48:32
Speaker
And I think that so far, we've been down a good path. I like where you guys are sending me. We're off to a pretty good start. I would have never expected I was going with this. When you said the lead a love triangle, I knew that it ended in the live sex celebration thing. Had no idea where it had started. Holy shit. I don't want to talk about the ruthless aggression era anymore. I would rather talk about NXT.
00:48:59
Speaker
Did you watch the Pete Dunne Ricochet match?
Highlight: Pete Dunne vs. Ricochet
00:49:03
Speaker
You are goddamn right I did. Holy shit that was a good match. What a fucking match man. What a match. What is it about like British wrestlers trying to break your fucking finger? That's British strong style.
00:49:18
Speaker
It's British people trying to break your fucking hand. That's what they should call it. Yeah, that's what's going on over in progress. If you want to see some fingers getting broken, check them out. Crumpets, tea, broken fingers. Make a shirt out of it. How did the ending of this match set with you?
00:49:36
Speaker
Perfect, I think, first of all, this happened on free, I guess not free, WWE Network, just regular NXT, just on their weekly programming, they gave away this match for essentially free, and it was pay-per-view worthy.
00:49:55
Speaker
save for the finish, which that justifies. They showed you what those two guys can do. And it was fucking awesome. If you have not watched Pete Dunn versus Ricochet, both of their titles are on the line in this match. And fuck, man, it's just it's just such a good I don't know. I don't even know where to where to begin with this one.
00:50:16
Speaker
Yeah, it's one that I don't think it's gonna be as much fun to hear us describe it is just hop on the network and watch this thing from last week's NXT. I mean, spoilers, I'm gonna discuss the ending. It was so good and it was one that as it's going, cuz occasionally they do give us away, give us something for free. We got the Aleister Champa match just on regular TV.
00:50:40
Speaker
And so I feel like with NXT, you always have that little bit in the back of your mind like it could happen. This could be the time. And I was excited to see a guy have two belts. It was the first champ versus champ match on NXT. And it was just going so well that I was just so ready to see one of these dudes have two belts. And those motherfucking pieces of shit from undisputed era come back and fuck up our party.
00:51:07
Speaker
and they saved one nation from looking weaker than the other. I appreciate it, they did us a favor. I'm looking at it from that light. I don't want there to be a war between the United Kingdom and North America the continent. We've got bigger problems right now. Clearly. I guess I don't have a shit ton to say about this match.
00:51:36
Speaker
No, this was just a really good match. If you guys have not watched this match, like I said, go watch it. I don't know. I haven't watched a ton of NXT lately. So this was a nice thing to tune back into and see. Well, one thing I would be, I would like us to do, because I know we had a couple people request, not, you know, requested as part of this, but just ask why we haven't talked about it yet. There's just a lot to lot going on. We definitely need to start digging into the Mae Young classic.
00:52:01
Speaker
Yeah, I'd be more than willing to watch some matches from that. Let's start digging into that for next week. But I do want to talk about a show I attended over the weekend. We had another Southern Underground pro show here at a basement east in Nashville. There were definitely some standout spots in this.
Southern Underground Pro: Trick-or-Treat Battle Royal
00:52:20
Speaker
There was a trick or treat battle royal, where at the end of the battle royal, somebody was going to get to choose between two different candy pails.
00:52:30
Speaker
one of which was filled with candy and one was filled with candy and a title shot.
00:52:38
Speaker
This was the opener. We had a, there was a shit ton of people in this one. So like a lot of, a lot of faces you normally see at Southern Underground Pro, including Ali Cat, Marco Stunt and Marco. Oh, in the middle of this fucking thing, there was a weird thing they were doing on Instagram where they named somebody stabbed the wrestler who was only posting photos of all the people that were going to be in this match and crossing their eyes out.
00:53:05
Speaker
that's weird normally in a wrestling angle it doesn't real life scare me this one scared me a little bit only because stab the wrestler only was following one person and only had like 13 followers so it's like you know what that does seem like the kind of person who would show up to a wrestling show and kill everyone in a battle royal
00:53:24
Speaker
Yeah, this doesn't seem like this is a show for anybody. So Stab the Wrestler does show up. He shows up in the scream mask partway through, gets eliminated by Marco Stunt and Craig Mitchell, who I never trust a fucking Craig. If we have any listeners named Craig. All apologies. I don't trust you. I don't know. I've just never met a Craig I trusted.
00:53:47
Speaker
Fuck, all right. Hey, I'm willing to meet a trustworthy Craig, but this is a heel wrestler Craig. If you don't trust a Craig, how are you willing to meet them? They might fucking stab you. I really set this up for a feud with all Craig's that I didn't ask for. You're gonna get a listener who's gonna give us a one star review because of your Craig hate. Well, on last week's episode, I worded something differently than I, in retrospect, I would have not said PCO sucks.
00:54:14
Speaker
Now you gotta stand by it now. Well, I didn't mean it like that. You meant he's not that good at what he does. No, he's good at what he does. He just, he does a weird version of what everyone else is doing.
00:54:28
Speaker
Anyways, what happens during your trick or treat battle royal, man? Okay, big thing, it ends up with, it ends up two on two. It ends up with Alley Cat and Marco Stunt with two guys that I don't know their names off the top of my head. Apologies, fellas. But I got to see Marco Stunt and Alley Cat team up to fight these two. Really good moment. I even put on Instagram, I said, this is my mega powers.
00:54:55
Speaker
I saw that. And I meant that. There was no irony to that. I fucking love those two wrestlers. To me, Ally Cat is one of my favorite female wrestlers right now. She does a lot of intergender stuff, and I've talked about it a million times. Candice LeRae is my favorite wrestler, and I feel like Ally Cat is the Candice LeRae of Southern Underground Pro. And already, I'm just, I'm really drawn to that. I really enjoy her. I would have loved her to have a title shot and win the whole thing.
00:55:23
Speaker
Goddamn Marco Stuntwinds gets a title shot. Did not realize this was going to be like a cash-in, like a money-in-the-bank situation. So after the main event of Wheeler Yuta, who you would have seen on Dojo Pro on Amazon versus the Bonestorm champ Dominic Guarini, I believe, or I hope I'm not saying his name wrong and just mixing it up with the dude from the first season of American Idol.
00:55:50
Speaker
Just call him Craig. I'm not calling him Craig, there's Craig Mitchell. And I know who Craig is because he looks like a dick. Craig's are gonna hate you. We're not getting any Craig listeners. We're calling out a war on all Craig's. Not we, you're on your own. It's all the Craig's and PCO against you. I like PCO. And Randy. Randy, I want to see him get the dildo in his mouth.
00:56:18
Speaker
To me, that would humble him in a way that I could watch him wrestle any match again. Oh, God. So, Marco Stuntman's a title shot. You thought it was for a future title shot. I even text you while you were at the show because you had announced to me that he won a future title shot. And I said, like, you know, for a later date. And you go, yeah, that's not what happened.
00:56:40
Speaker
Well, this was their second annual trick-or-treat battle royal. I didn't know the rules of it. The way they worded it, it sounded like a future title shot. But during the main event, after it was over, Marco's music hits, he comes out, and he lets Dom know he's gonna cash in. Dom looks very mad. Marco, he ends up, he gets a few moves in. Dom ends up getting him in kind of a, like a, what's Samoa Joe's, like the Cocina clutch?
00:57:06
Speaker
Yeah. He has him on the ground like that, but then Marco was able to flip his body back, you know, over the top of him so that he, while he was getting choked, he was also pinning him. Yeah. And Marco Stunt walks away with the Bonestorm Championship and is now the goddamn champ of Southern Underground Pro. Unbelievable. Little Marco Stunt, who we just saw a couple of weeks ago at Starcast, he's coming up in the world over the last couple of months, right?
Marco Stunt's Meteoric Rise
00:57:33
Speaker
I mean, what could this guy possibly do next? I mean, I don't think I've ever seen anyone. I've probably already said this on here, but have a hotter like month and a half than this guy. I mean, somebody gets hurt. He's a last minute replacement for Joey Janelle is lost in New York. Next day gets booked for all in. And then like three days before Bola, somebody gets hurt, has to drop out. He's a last minute replacement. Yeah. And now he's the goddamn champion of Southern Underground Pro.
00:58:03
Speaker
He's really gotten his name out there. I'm really happy for him. Fucking little Marco stunt, man.
00:58:08
Speaker
Mr Fun Size, oh, I thought this was gonna, we talked about last time how after Bola, everybody was throwing the candy bars in the ring, the Fun Size candy bars at him. And Southern Underground Pro made a statement, please don't throw shit in the ring. What happened? So there was a, I guess it would be the equivalent of a dark match before the Battle Royal. And they had, it was somebody's birthday and he was fighting a, I don't know this wrestler's name, he was like a human crawdad.
00:58:36
Speaker
Picture if a luchador were just dressed as a crawdad. The luchador goes to hand the other guy a cupcake for his birthday. Obviously that ends up on the ground and he gets DDT'd through it. So I was like, okay, we can't throw wrapped candy bars, but we can get smashed icing all over everything. Okay. Okay, I see what the rules are here. Yeah, we're complaining. It's not even our ring. It's not my promotion, but I wanna throw shit.
00:59:07
Speaker
Congratulations to Marco Stunt on being the champion at Southern Underground Pro. We should be talking to him sometime soon, shouldn't we? Yeah, I talked to Marco after the show and asked, and it sounds like we're going to be able to set up something and I'll be able to record with him before the next one. So record with him at Basement East.
00:59:25
Speaker
And that'll be what, in a couple months? That'll be November 4th, is their next show. So Saturday, or Sunday, November 4th, it'll be, I assume, at two o'clock, like always. Another big moment happened, though. During all of this, Dom was very furious. He goes to shake, you know, little Marco Stunt's hand and talks about how, like, this guy's the future of wrestling. We should all be really happy for him. Beats the shit out of him. Kevin Ku comes out to save the day with Cabana Man Dan. You know, Marco Stunt's partner from They Might Be Giants.
00:59:56
Speaker
Kevin Ku takes off both of their heads, goddamn heel turn, now teamed up with Dom. So, I liked Kevin Ku, and I'm gonna go ahead and say it. My wife said that Kevin Ku is the most handsome man at Southern Underground Pro. Already, I have a feeling she's wanting to do some sex at him.
01:00:17
Speaker
And don't get me wrong, very handsome man, great tattoos, great in shape guy. I've even said it before, he's the guy I picture when I see who's gonna be the guy to move up next. It's him. Well, not now, motherfucker. You turn and heal, teaming up on them. And that time, I went to high five you when you were a baby face. I kinda got the sense that you were healed then. He almost broke my goddamn hand, giving me the hardest high five I've ever had in my whole life. I'm afraid to high five people now. I've got post-traumatic stress disorder from it. Might as well change his name to Kevin Craig.
01:00:46
Speaker
Oh, yeah, real Craig. Real Craig, that one. You know what? I am truly afraid of Kevin Ku. He looks like he can beat the shit out of me. I don't want to say anything bad about him, but go fuck yourself.
01:00:59
Speaker
Well, bastard. So does this continue the trend of Southern Underground Pro Shows just keep getting better and better? Yeah, this one unfortunately a little less of a turnout on this one but it was a super shitty day with a lot of rain and stuff. And it seems like rain actually keeps people away from things in Nashville. That's weird. I hate it. I hate it. Still go see wrestling if there's goddamn rain. You're gonna be okay. I promise.
01:01:25
Speaker
Garrett, do we have anything else that you need to get off your chest this week? You know what? I think that about does it. I mean, this, wow. I mean, we're done at almost an hour.
01:01:33
Speaker
We do have one more thing for the audience. Oh, shit, Derek. Oh, shit. You got me so excited. Let's do it. This is for the audience. This is for me. This is just me and you hanging out, having this conversation. We would be having anyway. Hit me with it, baby. Our friend Lauren, Suplex and Stilettos, started this whole fuck, marry, kill trend. And we're going to continue that here. This one was submitted by my girlfriend, who just turned 33, or if you were listening to this, she turned 33 on Tuesday.
01:02:03
Speaker
So, here we go. Are you ready for this, man? I am ready. Who are my choices?
Fun Segments and Listener Interaction
01:02:09
Speaker
Fuck Mary Kill between The Rock, The Miz, and Kevin Owens. Ooh. Ooh. Well.
01:02:25
Speaker
Okay, I got it. I've got mine. I don't feel good about it there. That's not what I was expecting. I figured it was going to be a faction or something. I don't know. I was expecting, like, Braun Strowman, Kane, and fucking, I don't know, Jizz.
01:02:44
Speaker
when you name somebody like The Rock, I think of that Joe Rogan quote that he had about Brock Lesnar, where he goes, I'm not afraid that Brock Lesnar's gonna fuck me. I'm afraid that Brock Lesnar's gonna use me as a condom to fuck something bigger.
01:03:00
Speaker
All right. Um, I guess I'll let you go first. Okay. My immediate reaction to this is I got to marry the Ms. I've watched Ms and Mrs. I see how good of a husband that guy is. That guy is going to go buy me a thousand dollar cake at a moment's notice. If it's going to mean my feelings are spared.
01:03:21
Speaker
So marrying the Miz, I mean, look at Dwayne, man. Look at the work he puts into that body. That is the body of a man who's made to just be a passionate lover. Look at the smile. The guy's kind of like, he kind of looks like a penis. He's just shaped like he's Jesus. What the?
01:03:40
Speaker
What the fuck does that mean? I don't know, he's bald. He looks like a penis. What you're saying, he's bald and veiny? He's just like, yeah, he's a penis. Dwayne's gonna listen to this podcast. If Dwayne hears this, and this is what ends up being the thing that me and Dwayne finally interact, fine. I can deal with it. I'll tag him in the social media that plugged this episode, and hopefully he listens.
01:04:07
Speaker
So I think I'm going to have to, you know, because also he's never going to be around for me. He's a busy guy. He's got a lot of movies. He's always working out. I feel like the best time I'm going to have with Dwayne is really just getting to make sweet, passionate love and just see what happens. Yeah, that's hard to argue. And as far as Kevin Owens, he's friends with the majority of my favorite wrestlers. This really hurts me. I love Kevin Owens.
01:04:34
Speaker
Bye, sir. It would just be like me. Honestly, me and Kevin Owens having sex would just be like, I feel like jerking off into a mirror. You keep saying this. You are not in Kevin Owens' shape. You haven't seen me shirtless. Quit fucking fat shaming yourself for fucking sympathy. You are not Kevin Owens.
01:04:55
Speaker
Fine. I said it at Starcast. Fine. I'm marrying Kevin Owens then. Kill him if I marry him. What are you doing there? I am going to fuck The Rock. Let's be clear. Because he's a big, veiny penis. Yes.
01:05:08
Speaker
Yeah, no, I'm for all the same reasons you listed. He's athletic. He's a good looking guy. He probably knows what he's doing. He probably he's got enough that he's he's done it at least three times twice, two or three times. The guy knows how to fuck. We know that. But we haven't seen it in a movie yet. I think he fucked somebody in Walking Tall. And the Scorpion King.
01:05:36
Speaker
but I have not gotten to see like a like an Angelina Jolie beneath Antonio Banderas original sin uncut version like real passionate like 90s sex thriller where you see his ass a little bit while they're doing it like Tommy Wiseau yes yes that's what you want I guess all right
01:05:58
Speaker
Well, I guess that's what you're getting because I'm fucking The Rock. I'm going to marry Kevin Owens. And I'm going to marry Kevin Owens because he's a good husband on record.
01:06:09
Speaker
A good father on record longer than Miz, because he actually goes and takes his kids to Disneyland every fucking week. He gets into, what, sprinkle pools with them? He takes them to zoos. Miz has not been tested as a father fully yet. Owens has that experience. Seems like a good husband. Mary and Kevin. I'm killing the Miz. I'm not doing anything with a guy from Cleveland. Marying or fucking.
01:06:38
Speaker
Derek, you claiming that Kevin Owens is a better father to Owen than the Miz is to Monroe Skye is very, very upsetting to me. Yeah, well, that's something you're gonna have to deal with because the Miz, first of all, if killing the Miz gets me heat with you, that alone is worth it. If it's gonna break your fucking heart, and I get out of watching Miz and Mrs. episodes too,
01:07:09
Speaker
Derek, your name is officially Craig. I was waiting for it. I earned it. I got that Craig status for me. And if your name is Craig and you're a nice guy, I apologize. But I am from Cleveland. I apologize as well. I didn't mean it.
01:07:24
Speaker
Now this is the part of the show where we issue apologies. We issue apologies to Craig. We issue apologies to Dominic. We issue apologies to Lita. To The Rock. Everybody gets apologies. And my apologies to you if you're just here for the wrestling talk and not hearing about what we would do to these grown men. Yes.
01:07:44
Speaker
If you don't like Fuck Mary Kill, you can let us know. If you love Fuck Mary Kill, let us know. Get on our social media. We're at Wrestle Hangout on Facebook, at Wrestle Hangout on Twitter, at Predetermined Podcast on Instagram. Interact with us. We post pictures.
01:08:00
Speaker
Do polls. We talk with you guys. We love talking wrestling. We do a podcast about wrestling. Hit us up. As we stated earlier, give us the five stars on iTunes. Give us the subscription, obviously. And if you have time, leave us a nice review and we'll watch something that you request.
01:08:17
Speaker
Also, just on top of that, it really does help us out if you leave those reviews. It just, you know, algorithms, things with letting us get seen more on iTunes. It helps new listeners find us. Or, you know what? Just spread it to your friends. Tell your friends to listen. If you have a friend that likes wrestling, if you have a friend that just wants to hear us talk about doing sex with these men, that's fine too. I'll keep talking about it. This is what we do. And we're going to do it whether you're here or not. Prefer that you be here for it.
01:08:48
Speaker
Tune in next week. Yeah, I think next week after that, let's say we're going to check out some more of the May Young class or some of the May Young classic and finally like delve into that. Hopefully we get some more reviews and some more listener submissions because I am ready to see what you guys have for us next. This has been fun as hell. I think I'm ready to get out of here. Are you Derek? I'm ready to get out of here, man. You know what we got to do. What is that? Hit our goddamn music, man.