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Mastering Mom Productivity
36 Plays8 months ago
Welcome to The Positively Healthy Mom Podcast! I'm Laura Ollinger, and today, I’m excited to welcome Valerie Recore, a productivity and time management specialist. Valerie is here to share valuable tips on how busy moms can make the most of their time and stay organized.
In this enlightening episode, Valerie explores the essential role of effective time management—not just as a way to get more done, but as a game-changer for creating a balanced, fulfilling life. Valerie’s journey into productivity began with a mission to help busy moms manage their time efficiently and achieve their goals without feeling overwhelmed.
Valerie walks us through practical strategies for planning and prioritizing tasks. She covers everything from setting achievable goals and minimizing distractions to organizing your daily routine for success. Valerie’s advice includes how to create quick and efficient daily schedules—think about using time blocks or setting up routines—that you can implement in just about half an hour. She also emphasizes creating productivity routines that cater to your family’s unique needs and priorities, making time management both effective and stress-free.
For our listeners, Valerie provides invaluable insights on involving your kids in daily routines, turning it into a fun and organized activity. She shares how effective time management can transform your family’s life, helping you to avoid common pitfalls like stress, burnout, and the feeling of being constantly rushed. Valerie’s journey is one of empowerment.She and her family have embraced a lifestyle of intentional planning and efficient time management, particularly with her kids, which has brought them balance and fulfillment. Today, Valerie leads productivity workshops, helping others achieve the same benefits through practical time management and organizational strategies.
Key takeaways from this episode include:
- The impact of effective time management on overall well-being and how organizing your day can support a balanced lifestyle.
- Involving the whole family, especially your kids, in planning daily routines to make it a collaborative, educational experience.
- Practical tips for staying consistent with time management, even on busy days, and making it an enjoyable routine.
- Building a new, organized identity through mindful time use and creating sustainable habits for long-term success.
Join us for this insightful conversation and discover how Valerie’s expertise and passion for productivity can inspire and guide you toward managing your time effectively, especially with your kids, and living a more organized life.
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Transcript
Introduction to Positively Healthy Mom Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey moms, it's Laura Olinger.
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
00:00:05
Speaker
Because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
Challenges in Time Management for Moms
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello, everyone.
00:00:12
Speaker
Welcome to today's episode.
00:00:14
Speaker
I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest today.
00:00:16
Speaker
Valerie Ricoeur is a time management and productivity specialist.
00:00:22
Speaker
So I just think this is the coolest job I have ever heard of because as moms, we all struggle so much with time management and productivity.
Valerie's Journey from Corporate to Organizing
00:00:30
Speaker
And so Valerie, tell us a little bit how you got into this field of work.
00:00:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:37
Speaker
So I have always loved...
00:00:41
Speaker
organizing things.
00:00:42
Speaker
I was always the organized child with shoeboxes full of ticket stubs when that was a thing growing up.
00:00:49
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And I also really loved reading, especially in the last couple of decades of my life, reading time management books.
00:00:57
Speaker
I don't know why.
00:00:57
Speaker
I just love reading stories about people who just needed some shifts in how they spent their time.
00:01:05
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And then I, so my oldest is almost 12.
00:01:09
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And when she was born, I quit the corporate world and opened a professional organizing business because I thought, hey, I could get paid to help other people organize their stuff.
00:01:19
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I thought working part-time was the brilliant answer to having kids and being able to work.
00:01:25
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Little did I know that owning your business is so much work and working part-time and like, you know, that magic balance that we all strive for does not exist.
00:01:35
Speaker
And over the years, my organizing business shifted into more of a productivity piece.
00:01:41
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I really enjoyed talking with my clients more about how they were spending their time versus organizing their closets.
00:01:47
Speaker
And then the pandemic hit and I really just saw moms get
00:01:52
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slammed and we just suffered being home so much, having our kids home.
00:01:57
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We just took the brunt of all of everything.
00:02:00
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And that mental load that we carry as moms just was brought out so that we were talking about it more.
00:02:06
Speaker
I think it was always there, but I think we were, it just became something that, that women were talking about more.
Fair Play Method for Household Task Distribution
00:02:13
Speaker
And then through that, somewhere along that path, I discovered the Fair Play Method, which is not my method.
00:02:21
Speaker
It is based on a book by a woman named Eve Rodsky.
00:02:26
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And she just was really struggling with all of the work she was doing to keep her family functioning.
00:02:31
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And she tells so many great stories in her book.
00:02:34
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And she just kind of had it.
00:02:36
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And so she came up with this method that really is a way for you to get your partner, your family on the same team.
00:02:47
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So it's all of you against the dishes instead of you fighting against each other about the dishes.
00:02:53
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And this method that just gets everybody ready.
00:02:56
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together and on the same page in a way that isn't mom making sure everybody is doing everything.
00:03:02
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And I just felt like this book was the answer to all the mom rage, to all of the stuff that we have and feel.
00:03:08
Speaker
And I was reading books on mom rage and all of this, you know, the mental load and how we're just exhausted and resentful and angry.
00:03:15
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And here was a tool that we could use to kind of dig our way out of
Family Values and Responsibilities Discussion
00:03:20
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this hole.
00:03:20
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Yeah.
00:03:21
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I love that.
00:03:22
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Here we are.
00:03:23
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I can just I just hear the voices of like so many of my friends or just, you know, people that I know that are like, ah, you know, they've had enough with that mom load and the mom rage and all that stuff and just feeling overwhelmed and overwhelmed.
00:03:37
Speaker
perfect time of year with us being back to school, the routines change.
00:03:41
Speaker
And so therefore the responsibilities change of what needs to happen.
00:03:44
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So can you just give us the idea of like what this looks like for, and again, my typical audience is families of teens and tweens, but of course there's usually a younger sibling there too, and they might have an elementary school.
00:03:59
Speaker
What does that look like for a typical family?
00:04:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:03
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So it started out as or starts as a conversation with you and your partner.
00:04:08
Speaker
And whether you are married or co-parenting, whatever that looks like, you're having a conversation.
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Actually, you could get your teens and tweens involved in this too.
00:04:19
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You start by talking about what it is that's important to your family.
00:04:23
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What are your values as a family?
00:04:26
Speaker
And if that feels too broad then or too big of a conversation, maybe it's what do you want this season to look like?
00:04:33
Speaker
So we talk often in my family about what do we want this next semester of school or this fall season as we're moving into, what do we want it to look and feel like?
00:04:43
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And so then from there, you're getting into who is doing what around the house and getting your, it's also helping you define things like what are your birthdays?
Setting Household Task Standards
00:04:54
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What do birthdays look like?
00:04:55
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What do holidays look like?
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Are you throwing elaborate birthday parties because you want to and you enjoy it because your kids want to and they're also involved or because your neighbors are doing it and you feel obligated and you hate every minute of it?
00:05:09
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Coming into that, like what makes sense for our family and why are we doing things this way?
00:05:15
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And then getting into some of the nitty gritty of what Yves Rodsky calls the daily grinds, the things that have to happen every day, the dishes, the meals, the packing of lunches, the cleaning, the
00:05:25
Speaker
the laundry, all of those things that just have to happen to keep a family functioning.
00:05:30
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You have conversations as to what does a completed task look like, which gets into what an acronym called the minimum standard of care.
00:05:40
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So it's not just whoever has the higher standards.
00:05:44
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It's like you are agreeing upon these values of how something is completed.
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together.
00:05:51
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And why?
00:05:51
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Why do we clean our dishes?
00:05:53
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Why do we clean our kitchen every night?
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What's behind all of that?
00:05:56
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Why do we take our trash out once a week or when the trash bag gets full or whatever that looks like in your family?
00:06:03
Speaker
Um,
00:06:05
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And so let me give an example.
00:06:07
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My husband and I share the dishes in the sense like we run our dishwasher twice a day.
00:06:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:13
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I've got two kids.
00:06:14
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We run our dishwasher a lot.
00:06:16
Speaker
We go through a lot of dishes.
00:06:17
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And I got really tired of feeling like it was always on me to deal with it.
00:06:20
Speaker
I would notice it.
00:06:21
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My job is more flexible.
00:06:23
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Currently my desk, we're recording this.
00:06:26
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I am next to my kitchen so I can see the mess out of the corner of my eye.
00:06:29
Speaker
And I always felt like it was on me, right?
00:06:32
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Like the dishes were talking to me.
00:06:33
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I was like, I am done.
00:06:35
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feeling this way.
00:06:35
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And so we came up with this plan where Sunday through Saturday, one of us is fully in charge of the dishes, emptying and loading the dishes, hand-washing the stuff that needs to be washed, and then making sure the kitchen is clean enough at night that whoever makes breakfast in the morning doesn't have to clean the kitchen first.
00:06:56
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That was kind of what our minimum standard of care, that's kind of where we left it.
00:07:00
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Now, that might look different in your household.
00:07:02
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It might need to be
00:07:04
Speaker
you know, wipe the counters, wipe down after every meal or whatever makes sense for you.
00:07:10
Speaker
We're also getting my nine-year-old involved because we run the dishwasher twice a day.
00:07:13
Speaker
She is now responsible for doing it one of those times.
00:07:18
Speaker
And this year we're working on her noticing that it is her job, not me or my husband asking her to do it or do it with us, but her coming home from school and paying attention to
00:07:29
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Okay, these are the things I need to look at.
00:07:31
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Does the dishwasher need to be dealt with and then making it happen?
00:07:35
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And because of her age, we're going to work on that with her, right?
00:07:38
Speaker
I will be reminding her and doing it with her for a while and that's okay.
00:07:42
Speaker
We're going to work up to her own independence.
00:07:45
Speaker
But then when it's not my week, it's not my problem.
00:07:48
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I don't have to think about it.
00:07:50
Speaker
It's only when I come into the kitchen in the morning, if I have to clean the kitchen, I'm grumbling about it.
00:07:54
Speaker
But that doesn't happen very often.
Reducing Mom's Workload and Burnout
00:07:57
Speaker
Our other rule as part of the MSC is you can't leave everything for the person on Sunday to take over.
00:08:04
Speaker
So yesterday, my husband spent a good chunk of Sunday cleaning the kitchen because he just hadn't dealt with it during the week.
00:08:09
Speaker
And so it was kind of like, you can't leave me a mess because you didn't keep up with it.
00:08:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:15
Speaker
And so you have those conversations around all of the tasks in a household.
00:08:20
Speaker
Because the other acronym we can talk about is conception, planning, and execution.
00:08:27
Speaker
So it's one thing for somebody to plan all the meals and put together the grocery list and for somebody else to go buy the groceries and be like, well, but I helped.
00:08:34
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Like, okay, but I thought about all of these things that needed to go on that list and who was going to be where, when, and what we needed for snacks and for breakfast and lunch and
00:08:45
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all of that.
00:08:45
Speaker
And so you did the grocery shopping great, but there was a lot of behind the scenes work that went into that.
00:08:52
Speaker
So getting somebody to take on that whole process from meal planning to buying groceries and involving the family, if you need to write, like we'll talk as a family of what are some meals you want to eat?
00:09:04
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Is there something you want to try?
00:09:05
Speaker
What have we not had for a while?
00:09:07
Speaker
What are you in the mood for?
00:09:10
Speaker
But there's one person in charge of that whole process.
00:09:13
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So there's a lot of talking, hopefully that all.
00:09:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:18
Speaker
And it's getting my tons of wheels spinning for me and I'm sure the audience as well.
00:09:22
Speaker
The thing I loved was the part about giving, in this case, mom a break where you didn't have to deal with the dishes for a whole week because that was your husband's job or your child's job or whatever, because I think that's what I see a lot of.
00:09:37
Speaker
And I'm sure you do too, is just that mom burnout.
00:09:40
Speaker
and the fatigue and the overwhelm and just all those feelings that go into just exhaustion, which kind of builds up into resentment.
00:09:47
Speaker
And then you start yelling at your kids.
00:09:49
Speaker
And I work a lot with moms on emotional regulation and taking deep breaths and kind of doing visualization, whatever we need to do.
00:09:57
Speaker
But I don't necessarily handle the stuff that leads up to that, right?
00:10:00
Speaker
That sounds like that's kind of your job.
00:10:03
Speaker
You know, so I'm just my mind is having fun and kind of playing around with that.
00:10:08
Speaker
So what advice would you give to moms in kind of the conversations that need to happen with the teenagers?
00:10:15
Speaker
Because, for instance, my two boys are both in football season.
00:10:20
Speaker
And so they either have morning practice or they have afternoon practice.
00:10:24
Speaker
They get home, they're starving, they're exhausted, they have homework.
00:10:28
Speaker
They don't have a lot of bandwidth during a regular school day.
00:10:32
Speaker
to pitch in.
00:10:33
Speaker
However, my kids do do their own laundry and that's usually Sundays, Sunday nights.
00:10:37
Speaker
And so there's four, I have four kids and they're all, you know, kind of in line for who goes in which order and they work it out.
00:10:43
Speaker
I don't get involved.
00:10:44
Speaker
They kind of just do their own thing.
00:10:45
Speaker
So that is their job.
00:10:46
Speaker
And then, you know, my boys mow the lawn.
00:10:49
Speaker
They all have their different things, but yeah,
00:10:51
Speaker
How like what would this look like if you do have a child who in my oldest daughter has a job so she often doesn't get home till pretty late to like, what is your method look like for these busy tired teenagers who also have responsibilities of making good grades?
00:11:06
Speaker
It's having constant or regular check-ins and conversations about what that looks like.
00:11:12
Speaker
Certainly there are going to be seasons where maybe your football players during football season, they're
Teaching Kids Life Skills and Independence
00:11:20
Speaker
not doing as much around the house.
00:11:21
Speaker
But when football season is over, that can shift.
00:11:24
Speaker
The seasons are going to shift, right?
00:11:26
Speaker
Because maybe they don't need to mow the lawn in the winter, depending on where you live.
00:11:30
Speaker
And so they can take on something else that
00:11:34
Speaker
during that time and it can shift.
00:11:36
Speaker
My goal for my kids isn't so much that their room is always perfectly clean and they're always on top of their chores, but that when they leave and live on their own and their dorm room or apartment gets super messy and gross, they'd have the skills to clean it or to maintain it or keep up with it.
00:11:53
Speaker
My nine-year-old hates cleaning her room.
00:11:55
Speaker
And she's still at the age where she loves lots of toys.
00:11:58
Speaker
And apparently toys come with 85 tiny little different pieces.
00:12:01
Speaker
And they're all over the place.
00:12:03
Speaker
And her friends come over and trash it.
00:12:05
Speaker
And I don't make her clean that up all of the time.
00:12:07
Speaker
But I want her to have the skills to clean it up.
00:12:11
Speaker
when she's ready to make that happen.
00:12:14
Speaker
And so it would just be lots of conversations.
00:12:17
Speaker
Like a family meeting is one of the big or a weekly check-in is one of the big parts of this whole thing, making it work.
00:12:24
Speaker
And it might change from week to week too as to who is doing what.
00:12:28
Speaker
Maybe one week, one person's in charge of dealing with the trash and then the next week, somebody else's.
00:12:33
Speaker
So it's not always one person's job.
00:12:37
Speaker
Or you're talking about maybe during a certain season, some things kind of just get left behind or not done as thoroughly or kind of understanding the season of life that you are in and what makes the most sense for your family during that season.
00:12:53
Speaker
And it might be that mom and dad just take on a little bit more during that time because what you have decided as a family is
00:13:00
Speaker
Your goals are for your kids to be focused on this other stuff, on school, on their job, on sports, whatever falls in there.
00:13:10
Speaker
You know they know how to empty the dishwasher.
00:13:12
Speaker
And if they're keeping up on their laundry, then maybe for a while mom and dad are doing a little bit more.
00:13:18
Speaker
Knowing that that will shift over time and kind of, I think, changing with the season and the season of life you were all in, but
Family Contributions vs. Chores
00:13:28
Speaker
talking about it.
00:13:28
Speaker
So you're not sitting there still angry that nobody is taking this stuff on.
00:13:34
Speaker
Or getting into like, like back to school, right?
00:13:36
Speaker
How many forms have we all filled out in the last couple of weeks?
00:13:39
Speaker
And I've got two schools now, like it's, there's so much more it feels like and, and doctor's appointments and your kids are probably, if you have teenagers getting your kids involved and scheduling some of that stuff, do they need physicals for sports?
00:13:53
Speaker
Do you need to do that?
00:13:54
Speaker
Or can your kids do that?
00:13:55
Speaker
And if they don't know how, then do it together to give them,
00:14:00
Speaker
that skill and that practice and support.
00:14:04
Speaker
But I think just having those conversations, even if it's every couple of weeks, but ideally it'd be once a week, just talking about what all of that looks like and what's important, what's going on this week that is important, what's going on in the next two weeks that's important and who is the bandwidth to take on what during that time.
00:14:23
Speaker
Yeah, I love that because it really kind of unites the family.
00:14:26
Speaker
We're talking about goals and values, you know, all the things that I love to talk about.
00:14:30
Speaker
And my favorite part is so far just this flexibility, kind of allowing, you know, giving grace to who needs grace and things like that and kind of figuring that out.
00:14:40
Speaker
So now I'm imagining these conversations, whether it's weekly or whatever it is, and I always like to hear the voices in my head of other people who are saying, ah, this could never work because, and the first thing I heard was, you know, the kids saying, do I get paid?
00:14:55
Speaker
Um, or it's kind of the, what's in it for me.
00:14:57
Speaker
And I'm of the mindset that kids should not get paid for certain things.
00:15:03
Speaker
Um, I do feel like they need a chance to earn some money as well.
00:15:06
Speaker
So I'm kind of fall in the middle.
00:15:07
Speaker
Like I do pay my boys to do the lawn because otherwise I'd be paying a lawn service.
00:15:11
Speaker
So it's like, I might as well just keep the money in the family and allow them that, but other things like taking out the trash, you know, just take out the trash.
00:15:18
Speaker
I'm not paying you to take out the trash.
00:15:20
Speaker
Half the trash is yours anyway.
00:15:21
Speaker
So, you know, so I'm curious, like, how do you bring that up to families in order to help get the kids on board and kind of especially those resistant teenagers?
00:15:31
Speaker
Like I know younger kids are more excited about helping mom or dad.
00:15:36
Speaker
Older ones are a little bit more grumbly and, you know, self-centered.
00:15:39
Speaker
That's how they are.
00:15:40
Speaker
That's how their brains are functioning at that moment.
00:15:42
Speaker
So what is your advice for that?
00:15:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:44
Speaker
So when I kind of struggle with the word help, because like we're not necessarily helping mom or dad, we're contributing to the family.
00:15:53
Speaker
So I try to talk about it in the like, these are family contributions.
00:15:57
Speaker
I'm even trying to move away from the word chores because I feel like at least for adults and our kids hear it in our voices, it sounds yucky, right?
00:16:05
Speaker
When you're like, oh, we got to do a bunch of chores today.
00:16:07
Speaker
You're like, I don't want to.
00:16:09
Speaker
Like, I don't want to.
00:16:11
Speaker
But these are the things that keep our family functioning.
00:16:14
Speaker
And I'm saying as you, we are not a family that pays.
00:16:18
Speaker
Our kids get an allowance that is not tied to their tasks.
00:16:23
Speaker
Because we are all, nobody's paying me to take out the trash or empty the dishwasher.
00:16:28
Speaker
And I feel like we all live here.
00:16:30
Speaker
So we all have to contribute to keeping the household clean and functioning.
00:16:36
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:16:37
Speaker
And if that doesn't work for you and you want to pay your kids for all of it because that's what you feel strongly about, then go ahead and make that happen.
00:16:47
Speaker
I'm just of the bully.
00:16:48
Speaker
And certainly, and when I was growing up, it was the same.
00:16:52
Speaker
My dad would pay me for extra chores around the house for things that he was going to have to do anyway.
00:16:57
Speaker
or hire somebody to do if I was capable of making that happen.
00:17:01
Speaker
And he would pay me for it.
00:17:03
Speaker
And I feel you can certainly have a list beyond the, these are the things that need to happen regularly, but like, here are the things that like really should happen on occasion above and beyond.
00:17:14
Speaker
And I will pay you for that.
00:17:16
Speaker
And I know there are so many different ways you can do that.
00:17:20
Speaker
But I am just of the belief that we all live here.
00:17:23
Speaker
We should all contribute to the house together.
Aligning Life with Personal Values
00:17:26
Speaker
working together and getting involved.
00:17:29
Speaker
Yeah, that makes so much sense.
00:17:31
Speaker
So, okay.
00:17:33
Speaker
What else can you share as far as like, you know, could you give us an example of maybe a client that you had or somebody that you were working with and, you know, they were really in a tough spot and you came in and just kind of turn them around as far as that time management or productivity or any other kind of big transformation that you've helped make?
00:17:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:56
Speaker
So I had a client, one of the things that I occasionally do with clients is have them track their time.
00:18:03
Speaker
Because I think we don't, we think that we know where we're spending our time, but we don't necessarily have a great sense of it.
00:18:10
Speaker
So I had a client track her time.
00:18:12
Speaker
And at the time she had two young kids.
00:18:16
Speaker
And we noticed on her, so you track your time and by tracking your time, I mean like every 30 minutes to an hour, you stop what you're doing.
00:18:23
Speaker
write down what you're doing.
00:18:27
Speaker
So it's not at the end of the day you sit down and try to remember but like you were actively throughout the day doing that and pick any week because as parents there really is no typical week.
00:18:37
Speaker
So just pick a week even if everybody's homesick whatever that that is in your family.
00:18:42
Speaker
But with this particular client we noticed that she was in and out of the grocery store multiple times during the week.
00:18:50
Speaker
And so we started talking about why and it would be, you know, she'd be running into this store once or twice a week to pick up vitamins and then this other store to pick up something that her kids, some snack her kids were out of.
00:19:01
Speaker
And so we worked on streamlining how she grocery shopped.
00:19:05
Speaker
Can you go to the store where you buy your vitamins once a month, every two weeks and buy what you need for the next couple of weeks?
00:19:13
Speaker
Will your kids survive without the snack until you go to the store next week?
00:19:17
Speaker
What's going to happen if they don't have their favorite yogurt in the house for a few days?
00:19:20
Speaker
They were probably going to be fine.
00:19:22
Speaker
And really streamlined that.
00:19:25
Speaker
And so I think, and that falls into kind of having these conversations of how do you really want to be spending your time?
00:19:32
Speaker
What is, that's one of the big things for me in my work and using Fair Play is designing this life that we don't want to run away from.
00:19:41
Speaker
That we may have mornings we grumble when we get out of bed because we're tired, but for the most part, like we're pretty happy with the way that things are going or we're working towards.
00:19:49
Speaker
And I think we can fall into this trap of just, well, this is what society is telling me to do and this is what I feel like I have to do and we're unhappy with it because we don't feel like we can change it.
00:19:58
Speaker
And so taking that time to really assess where we are and how things are functioning right now, which I know sounds big and overwhelming and maybe like not you're thinking I just have to get dinner on the table.
00:20:11
Speaker
I don't have time to do this.
00:20:14
Speaker
It could just be a 10 minute assessment of what are the big things in my life that are taking up so much of my time right now or my family's time and am I happy or
00:20:25
Speaker
Doing that.
00:20:26
Speaker
Is this how we want to be spending our time?
00:20:29
Speaker
Do we love football?
00:20:30
Speaker
Is this we're a football family?
00:20:32
Speaker
So every fall, this is what we're going to do.
00:20:35
Speaker
And really spending time thinking about that.
00:20:37
Speaker
And the answer might be, yes, this is our jam.
00:20:39
Speaker
We love doing this and we are OK being this busy during football season and we're happy with that.
00:20:45
Speaker
Then go for it.
00:20:47
Speaker
And I remember talking with a woman not that long ago who her kid was playing soccer.
00:20:52
Speaker
And she's like, well, I'm doing it because everybody else on the block is doing it.
00:20:56
Speaker
And I don't think she was excited about it, but she kind of felt like that was the only time her son was going to be able to hang out with the neighbors.
00:21:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:03
Speaker
And I pushed back on that thinking of, but maybe there's another family or most of the families who feel the same way.
00:21:09
Speaker
They don't want to be doing soccer, but they feel like it is the only way.
00:21:13
Speaker
And so what if you were the one that takes that step back or does something different than what happens?
00:21:19
Speaker
And so really, I think just questioning or examining the way that we spend our time can help us shift even just a little bit.
00:21:28
Speaker
Like we're not going to overhaul our life in the course of a weekend.
00:21:32
Speaker
It might just like in our house, it just started with the dishes.
00:21:36
Speaker
And then we layered on tasks beyond that.
00:21:38
Speaker
And then as my kids get older, we're layering on more tasks.
Teaching Time Management to Teenagers
00:21:42
Speaker
My kids do their own laundry now.
00:21:44
Speaker
And it's delightful.
00:21:45
Speaker
And they change their own sheets and I love it.
00:21:47
Speaker
And my nine-year-old still needs help, but it's easier than me spending a bunch of time doing all of it.
00:21:54
Speaker
And we layered that all on over time.
00:21:58
Speaker
And so just taking that time to really evaluate how you are spending your time and what little shifts or tweaks can you make to change how you're spending if something doesn't feel right.
00:22:10
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:22:11
Speaker
Yeah, that's I again, my wheels are going in lots of directions, because I'm thinking, how can we transfer this information to our teenagers?
00:22:22
Speaker
Because I do work with a lot of clients who have executive function challenges, ADHD, and
00:22:28
Speaker
time management issues with homework and, you know, motivation, procrastination, all those things.
00:22:34
Speaker
And, you know, my best way, which you have already said, is to model the behavior or to talk out the behavior and give the reasons why behind it.
00:22:42
Speaker
So I'm, you know, even modeling the behavior about
00:22:46
Speaker
having them make their own doctor's appointments and any other responsibilities that they might want to learn.
00:22:52
Speaker
Because after all, you said it best, which is our job is to work ourselves out of a job.
00:22:56
Speaker
We want to be able to send them off knowing that they know how that they have all these skills.
00:23:01
Speaker
I have so many moms right now who kids are freshmen in college.
00:23:06
Speaker
And, you know, so I still coach college kids as well.
00:23:09
Speaker
And some of them are really worried about how their teenagers are doing and how they're going to survive.
00:23:13
Speaker
And are they going to stay on top of their work?
00:23:15
Speaker
So what would be any ideas you have about transferring this knowledge to teenagers and especially the ones who might be neurodivergent, who do struggle?
00:23:28
Speaker
It doesn't come naturally to them, like you said.
00:23:30
Speaker
since you were a little girl, you were reading books about this stuff, right?
00:23:33
Speaker
Right.
00:23:33
Speaker
There are some people who are literally on the opposite end of the spectrum and it's just not their thing.
00:23:38
Speaker
And I get that our brains all function differently and, and, you know, they have strengths that we don't have and vice versa.
00:23:43
Speaker
I'm kind of like a little bit of middle of the road where I I'm not like super duper on top of things the way you are, as far as that structure.
00:23:51
Speaker
But I also have some semblance.
00:23:52
Speaker
I have to get it done and I have four kids and I have a busy life.
00:23:55
Speaker
So I have to figure these things out.
00:23:56
Speaker
So
00:23:56
Speaker
How could we, you know, team up right now in our brain power and just figure out how to transfer this knowledge to teenagers?
Applying Fair Play Method Beyond Families
00:24:05
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:24:07
Speaker
I think with the conversations again, because these are actually skills that as much as this, the fair play method is talked about in families, you can use it with roommates and you would just use specific tasks within roommates.
00:24:20
Speaker
You could use this with in your dorm, in your apartments down the road.
00:24:24
Speaker
These are great.
00:24:24
Speaker
I mean, these are skills that I wish I had.
00:24:26
Speaker
And when my roommates would never clean anything ever.
00:24:28
Speaker
And it was always my job.
00:24:30
Speaker
I always, it fell to me and I didn't know how to have these conversations.
00:24:34
Speaker
So I think, um,
00:24:36
Speaker
You could start by, so there's a deck of cards that you can buy related to the book and it lists out, there's a hundred cards in there related with all of the tasks that Evronsky came up with.
00:24:45
Speaker
Certainly you're most families don't need all of them.
00:24:49
Speaker
Some of them are wild cards that are, are,
00:24:52
Speaker
You don't need them all of the time, but you could pull out a card, maybe start with a daily grind and pull out a card and talk about it at dinner.
00:25:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:25:01
Speaker
Let's talk about garbage.
00:25:02
Speaker
Why do we care about the garbage being taken out and have a conversation?
00:25:06
Speaker
This is one of the goals I would like to do with my kids this fall is starting to get them to just be aware of it.
00:25:14
Speaker
So they know, okay, we take the trash out because if we don't, it attracts bugs.
00:25:19
Speaker
and our kitchen starts to smell and all of the things that can lead to when you're not staying on top of the trash.
00:25:26
Speaker
So, okay, what does the conception, planning and execution of taking out the trash look like?
00:25:31
Speaker
Because it's bigger than just telling somebody to take out the trash.
00:25:35
Speaker
You got to know where all of the trash cans, where's the trash bag, where's the barrel?
00:25:40
Speaker
When does that barrel need to be hauled to the curb?
00:25:43
Speaker
Who do you tell if we're out of trash bags?
00:25:45
Speaker
Like there are multiple steps involved in all of this.
00:25:49
Speaker
And so having those conversations, even if nobody, you know, one person is still taking the trash out regularly, but talking about it.
00:26:00
Speaker
And certainly, yeah.
00:26:02
Speaker
So neurodivergent is not a skill of mine, but I think kind of gamifying it could help or I think getting them, I mean, I think I would start with the conversation and then figure out how to move that into that awareness for everybody to know that it's your week to take the trash out.
Engaging Kids with Gamification
00:26:26
Speaker
What does that mean?
00:26:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:29
Speaker
Yeah, those conversations.
00:26:32
Speaker
I love your gamify solution.
00:26:33
Speaker
That's actually what I did with a younger client of mine last year, which was he needed to clean out his backpack every day because his papers were just like all over the place.
00:26:42
Speaker
And his mom was like, he never can find his homework.
00:26:45
Speaker
And she was really frustrated.
00:26:46
Speaker
And I said, OK, don't worry.
00:26:47
Speaker
I'll handle it.
00:26:48
Speaker
We'll figure it out.
00:26:49
Speaker
So I discovered his favorite sport is basketball.
00:26:52
Speaker
And so what we came up with little game and any paper that he would go through that he didn't need, we made sure there was a recycling bin somewhere nearby.
00:27:00
Speaker
I mean, I never saw this room in his house.
00:27:03
Speaker
I meet with my clients virtually, but he just told me there was.
00:27:06
Speaker
So I trusted that there was.
00:27:07
Speaker
And so he would just crinkle it up like a basketball and shoot hoops.
00:27:10
Speaker
And he would try to figure, you know, see how many hoops he could make with his papers he didn't need.
00:27:14
Speaker
Hopefully he
00:27:15
Speaker
He didn't throw away anything that he actually needed, but it was a way to make it more fun and more engaging and kind of turn on those pieces of his brain that do like to be more active and do like to have more involvement because some of that part is shut down.
00:27:26
Speaker
So that's a great idea, you know, that you just thought of.
00:27:30
Speaker
So fantastic.
00:27:31
Speaker
Great, great, great putting two minds together.
00:27:33
Speaker
So, OK, well, is there anything else before we go that you would like to share with the moms, like, you know, last parting advice for the school year or anything like that?
00:27:44
Speaker
I think we've covered all of it.
00:27:46
Speaker
I think the biggest thing I want your listeners to take from this is just spending that time to evaluate how you are spending your time and what is important to you can be the biggest thing and lead towards big change.
00:28:02
Speaker
And it might mean that you can't make those changes now because you've already committed to a bunch of stuff for the next semester, but knowing you want things to look different.
00:28:09
Speaker
down the road or knowing that you love the way things are right now and you don't want anything to change.
00:28:15
Speaker
Just spending some time evaluating it, I think can be a huge step in the right direction.
00:28:22
Speaker
Hmm.
00:28:23
Speaker
That's wonderful.
00:28:24
Speaker
Well, thank
Conclusion and Resources
00:28:25
Speaker
you for your time.
00:28:25
Speaker
And so how can our listeners find you after today?
00:28:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:29
Speaker
So head to my website, strideproductivity.com.
00:28:33
Speaker
And you can find access to upcoming events that I might have, my private podcast where I talk about all this in detail and other ways to track me down.
00:28:44
Speaker
Perfect.
00:28:45
Speaker
Awesome.
00:28:46
Speaker
So strideproductivity.com.
00:28:48
Speaker
Well, Valerie, thank you so much.
00:28:49
Speaker
I appreciate your time today and we'll have to stay in touch.
00:28:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:53
Speaker
Thank you for having me.
00:28:54
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:28:57
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:29:04
Speaker
Don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends.