Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Self-Esteem and Confidence
27 Plays6 months ago
Welcome to The Positively Healthy Mom Podcast! I'm thrilled to introduce my longtime friend, Jonny Pardoe, joining us all the way from England. 🌍✨
Host of the Self-Esteem and Confidence Mindset Podcast and Men's Mental Health and Growth Podcast, Jonny is passionate about helping others understand the difference between self-esteem and confidence. 💡✨ In his words, self-esteem is all about how much you like yourself, beyond achievements and accolades. 🪞
Confidence, on the other hand, is the trust you have in your ability to do something. 💪 Both are connected but uniquely important in shaping how we approach life. Stay tuned for his insights on how moms can rediscover their self-worth and build confidence in today’s episode of The Positively Healthy Mom Podcast
Positively Healthy Coaching
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast and Guest
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey moms, it's Laura Olinger.
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
00:00:05
Speaker
Because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello everyone, welcome to today's episode of the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
00:00:15
Speaker
I'm so excited to introduce you to an old friend of mine, Johnny Pardot, and he is across the pond over in England.
00:00:22
Speaker
So Johnny, say hello to everybody.
00:00:24
Speaker
Hello.
00:00:25
Speaker
Thank you for inviting me, like you say, across the pond.
00:00:28
Speaker
So it's always good to connect on these things.
00:00:31
Speaker
And yeah, well done, Laura.
00:00:34
Speaker
We were just talking about your podcast before.
00:00:35
Speaker
Well done, Laura.
00:00:36
Speaker
I'm sticking with it for so long and all the value you're giving out there.
00:00:40
Speaker
So yeah, looking forward to seeing what I can add today.
00:00:42
Speaker
Thank you.
00:00:43
Speaker
Yay.
00:00:43
Speaker
Okay.
00:00:44
Speaker
That's
Understanding Self-Esteem and Confidence
00:00:45
Speaker
exciting.
00:00:45
Speaker
So Johnny's specialty is in fact, his podcast is named after his specialty, which is the self-esteem and confidence mindset podcast.
00:00:54
Speaker
And he also has a podcast just for men, the men's mental health and growth podcast.
00:00:59
Speaker
But today, since we're talking to the bombs, we're kind of generally talking about self-esteem and confidence.
00:01:05
Speaker
So Johnny.
00:01:06
Speaker
What is the difference between self-esteem and confidence?
00:01:09
Speaker
Because I think a lot of people in their heads, they just think it's kind of like the same thing and they kind of bundle it together.
00:01:14
Speaker
But you have described in the past that it's a separate thing.
00:01:18
Speaker
They're connected, but separate.
00:01:19
Speaker
So how would you define them?
00:01:20
Speaker
Yeah, sure.
00:01:21
Speaker
And one thing I'll add is, like, everyone's got, like, different, you know, it's always open to interpretation, how people see.
00:01:28
Speaker
Like, I'm not so, like, in that place where my model of the world has to be agreed by everyone, you know.
00:01:35
Speaker
It's, you know, that would be kind of, like, a place where I'd come from maybe, like, 10, 15 years ago of, like, insecurity.
00:01:41
Speaker
Like, everyone's got to agree with me.
00:01:43
Speaker
I've ever been at school and it's, like...
00:01:45
Speaker
no that's the right answer i'm right and like that kind of thing but that was really a lack of self-esteem underneath really so how i've like interpreted it from kind of like my journey when i went down this hole really trying to improve my self-esteem and build my confidence in things over the years when i was kind of in like a down point you know a fair few years ago now you know life's not always like perfect obviously there's the ups and downs i've had it even last couple of years but
00:02:14
Speaker
I kind of did a lot of tuning into like research and just reflecting on my experiences and then trying things.
00:02:23
Speaker
So for me, self-esteem in kind of like a simple definition was really, Marissa Pee, I don't know if you've come across her, she's a British hypnotherapist, but she described it really well.
Impact of Motherhood on Self-Esteem
00:02:36
Speaker
And it just resonated with me.
00:02:37
Speaker
And it's just how much you like yourself.
00:02:40
Speaker
And it's like not talking about achievements, we're not talking about
00:02:43
Speaker
how many medals you've got, how many awards.
00:02:46
Speaker
And I, it's still something, you know, I catch myself now and then because I like to go out and achieve things, but I used to be so driven by that.
00:02:54
Speaker
But yeah, it's just about how much you like yourself.
00:02:57
Speaker
And that's, that's how I put it personally.
00:03:00
Speaker
Now confidence on the other hand, again, they, they, they do link, but confidence to me is the trust you have in yourself to do something.
00:03:10
Speaker
And I believe that,
00:03:12
Speaker
you can actually have confidence in things because this is my story.
00:03:16
Speaker
You can have confidence in things.
00:03:18
Speaker
You could have low self-esteem at the same time.
00:03:21
Speaker
So very confident at a job, but you've got a lot of trust in that, in your ability to do a job.
00:03:27
Speaker
If you've maybe worked there for a year or two, or certainly for a few years, right?
00:03:32
Speaker
Maybe it's a sport you've been playing for a while, you know, and that, that confidence has been built from,
00:03:38
Speaker
repetition and then doing things over and over again and maybe it took a little bit of courage and facing fears at the beginning so i believe when someone says this is my view but if someone says i lack confidence i'm always like and what like i i don't know the specifics right um it's often it's i often hear like social confidence you
00:04:01
Speaker
interacting with people is like a very, very common one.
00:04:04
Speaker
That's certainly me, like really nervous about like talking to people like for many, many years and like my teen years and things like that.
00:04:12
Speaker
Yeah, like if you've got good self-esteem, when I've had like better self-esteem and improved it and people I've coached through it as well in the past, when the self-esteem builds, you generally have a lot more confidence in different areas to go out and do things because you've built that relationship with yourself as opposed to having not such a good developed relationship with yourself and not liking yourself.
00:04:37
Speaker
I found personally, I'm less likely to go out and then try things.
00:04:42
Speaker
So that's a difference for me.
00:04:44
Speaker
Confidence can be specific.
00:04:45
Speaker
It is about trusting yourself to do something.
00:04:48
Speaker
Self-esteem is purely, I see it as a relationship with yourself.
00:04:54
Speaker
Well, thank you for differentiating that because I myself, even though I work in these areas, I sometimes find myself using the words interchangeably or getting confused.
00:05:02
Speaker
And then after a while, I just make it this big blob.
00:05:04
Speaker
So I like I do like having that separation.
00:05:06
Speaker
I think it's important.
00:05:09
Speaker
And so I want to know, like how today we're going to serve the moms.
00:05:13
Speaker
And I think it's important that we address them because so many moms I find are
00:05:20
Speaker
kind of going through the motions of life.
00:05:23
Speaker
And it's been so long since they've really taken time out to reflect on themselves.
00:05:29
Speaker
Because once you have kids, you know, life gets really busy and you're so focused on helping your kids achieve in all the areas of their life academically or extracurricular sports and all those things that moms tend to lack both self-esteem and confidence.
00:05:45
Speaker
And I think part of that is even
00:05:48
Speaker
happens like during pregnancy, like in a physical aspect, we start to lose that part of ourself.
00:05:54
Speaker
And so I'm not asking you to comment on pregnancy or anything like that, but just like, how can we serve the moms?
00:06:01
Speaker
And I think if we do that, we will also be serving their kids as well.
00:06:06
Speaker
So I really want to focus on them.
00:06:07
Speaker
So, you know, as a mom, I
00:06:11
Speaker
We're very busy.
00:06:12
Speaker
And so how do you think a mom could start to like herself
Rebuilding Self-Esteem for Mothers
00:06:18
Speaker
more?
00:06:18
Speaker
Like what would be the steps she would need to do?
00:06:23
Speaker
So like you say, obviously I'm not a mum, but I've coached mums in the past because they've come to me when I was kind of in the confidence coaching space.
00:06:35
Speaker
And the beauty of coaching is you don't have to, there's a difference between a coach and mentor, and that's the beauty.
00:06:40
Speaker
You can kind of coach something out of someone in their situation.
00:06:44
Speaker
Now, what I found to be true in terms of generally people I've coached and also when I have worked with a mum is,
00:06:53
Speaker
Making time, this has been one of the things that comes to mind is making time for something you absolutely love to do.
00:07:01
Speaker
Like, that was a really key one that I saw, a very common pattern.
00:07:06
Speaker
I can remember someone I was working with and it was just like, you know, I've always loved to paint, but I just, you know, I don't do it anymore.
00:07:12
Speaker
And it's just like, right, guess what your next action steps are, right?
00:07:16
Speaker
So...
00:07:18
Speaker
So yeah, you know, that kind of like challenge.
00:07:20
Speaker
And then it was just like the light bulb moment when she was doing it and just the excitement.
00:07:27
Speaker
It's like, oh, I can't do that for half an hour in front of people.
00:07:31
Speaker
Well, how about you aim for one minute and you just paint for a minute?
00:07:35
Speaker
And suddenly, strangely enough, she was painting for an hour.
00:07:38
Speaker
So, you know, sometimes if you can't,
00:07:42
Speaker
So that's the first one.
00:07:43
Speaker
I kind of, there's kind of like a side point to it, but I've always found for me personally in my own self-esteem and working my own relationship is finding something you love.
00:07:55
Speaker
Maybe that's going to take a little bit of exploration.
00:07:58
Speaker
Maybe you're just a little bit unsure right now.
00:08:00
Speaker
You're a bit like, so a couple of good questions.
00:08:04
Speaker
What do I love doing as a, as a little girl?
00:08:06
Speaker
Maybe the mom might ask herself or, um,
00:08:10
Speaker
you know, or whatever the gender, the person is, what do they like doing as a child?
00:08:16
Speaker
And then also like, actually, what am I intrigued by?
00:08:20
Speaker
And then just even starting small and getting like five, 10 minutes a day into actually schedule that in.
00:08:28
Speaker
That's, that's a really important one I found.
00:08:30
Speaker
The other thing I found is boundaries is really, really key.
00:08:35
Speaker
Like for me personally, boundaries in kind of,
00:08:40
Speaker
all sorts of like situations.
00:08:43
Speaker
I wouldn't really have them.
00:08:44
Speaker
I wouldn't say I've ever been like severely.
00:08:48
Speaker
I know, unfortunately, some people get like severely bullied and stuff, like maybe a little bit in school, but kind of a little bit of a loner at some times, but never kind of seriously bullied.
00:08:58
Speaker
But I did have going for like the workplace and school, like taking advantage of a little bit.
00:09:03
Speaker
Um, and as a result, when I got older into the workplace, going out there dating sort of like relationships and stuff like that, it'd be a bit like, I didn't really have those like boundaries.
00:09:16
Speaker
So I think like, but now I'm just like,
00:09:20
Speaker
I've actually sometimes got too low a tolerance.
00:09:22
Speaker
It's like, you know, I'm not going to flip out, but I'm like, yeah, that communication was poor.
00:09:26
Speaker
I just don't find that acceptable.
00:09:30
Speaker
Or someone will say, you know, I'm not like too sensitive, but I have those clear boundaries when someone oversteps it.
00:09:36
Speaker
So I say boundaries is a very, very key one.
00:09:40
Speaker
And even just small with boundaries, that's a really, really important one.
00:09:44
Speaker
And then the third thing I'll say to this, you know, there's a lot we could go into this.
Maintaining Self-Esteem: Mental Exercises and Boundaries
00:09:49
Speaker
But the third one I would say is it's constant like training.
00:09:55
Speaker
It's constant training because, you know,
00:09:57
Speaker
like it's like going to the gym.
00:09:59
Speaker
I'll use this analogy.
00:10:00
Speaker
It's very simple.
00:10:01
Speaker
May have heard it before, but it's like to keep our physical health, right?
00:10:06
Speaker
You, you go to the gym a lot.
00:10:07
Speaker
You, or you might exercise.
00:10:09
Speaker
Maybe it's not the gym exercise, um, even a little bit, little and often eat well, you know, look after the body.
00:10:16
Speaker
But on the mental side, one thing I've made a mistake in, and when I've like even coached like mums through this is,
00:10:23
Speaker
it's like, okay, so what are you, it's like, I've got all this like negative self-talk.
00:10:28
Speaker
I just don't believe in myself when, you know, I'm talking to them.
00:10:31
Speaker
It's like, okay, so what like mental gym training are you doing?
00:10:35
Speaker
And they're just like, what?
00:10:36
Speaker
And it's just, so I'm like, they go into how are you training your like brain to like,
00:10:43
Speaker
believe in yourself and love yourself.
00:10:46
Speaker
And I remember someone I was working with and she was saying, this stuff's really, really hard, starting this.
00:10:55
Speaker
And it's like, I'm not gonna lie, it is.
00:10:57
Speaker
It's not like an overnight fix.
00:10:58
Speaker
It's not gonna be...
00:11:00
Speaker
It's like when you go to the gym and you haven't been like physical gym, you haven't been for like months or like a year.
00:11:06
Speaker
And then you're like your PT comes in and goes like, right, we're going to do this, this and this.
00:11:11
Speaker
That's going to be seriously hard.
00:11:12
Speaker
But you know what?
00:11:13
Speaker
Over time you adapt to it and then you might push yourself a little bit.
00:11:17
Speaker
It's just an ongoing process.
00:11:18
Speaker
But yeah,
00:11:19
Speaker
That's what I would say, like the constant training of saying the right things yourself and just looking.
00:11:26
Speaker
And as our mentor teaches us, always thinking about where you want to go as well.
00:11:31
Speaker
And that constant training.
00:11:34
Speaker
So those are some of the things I'd say for building that initial relationship with us to give three things.
00:11:40
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:11:41
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:11:42
Speaker
And one thing that keeps popping up for me is there's got to be some level of acceptance because I know men go through a similar journey in their life where, I mean, I know you're in peak physical shape.
00:11:54
Speaker
You train a lot.
00:11:55
Speaker
You run marathons and all these things.
00:11:57
Speaker
But obviously, as a man, you know, ages, things deteriorate or decline to an extent, right?
00:12:03
Speaker
It doesn't have to be extreme, but maybe some men start to go bald and lose their hair.
00:12:07
Speaker
And somehow there's this like loss of, you know, self-esteem in that process.
00:12:13
Speaker
Right.
00:12:13
Speaker
And so I was wondering like if you could comment on that, like the physical kind of loss.
00:12:20
Speaker
And I'm wondering like if the solution is like acceptance, like, yes, I'm no longer in my 22 year old body, but now I'm 48 and I love and accept myself.
00:12:30
Speaker
Like, what could you say about that?
00:12:34
Speaker
I would say I'll move you on like the acceptance because there's so many times that
00:12:42
Speaker
I've lost things, whether it was relationships, whether it was jobs, whether I couldn't run as fast on a football pitch and be as...
00:12:58
Speaker
Well, probably ability is still there, but the speed and stuff probably is not, and things like that.
00:13:04
Speaker
But the situations that I've lost or have gone and things like that.
00:13:08
Speaker
So in terms of that, I would say the acceptance is...
Managing Emotional Health and Aging
00:13:14
Speaker
acceptance is a key one but acceptance isn't like for me isn't about like right I accept it I'm getting on with it I'm fine right it's it's that's that's just like on for me that's I've done that many times and that's an unhealthy suppression um
00:13:32
Speaker
So in those situations, what I think is the acceptance, yes.
00:13:36
Speaker
What I would also say in those situations for me and similar kind of situations and people I've worked with is, again, it comes back to the, right,
00:13:48
Speaker
it's looking where you want to go moving forward, what you can do, like what are your goals, where you want to go, what do you want, as our mental favourite question is, and it's served me well.
00:13:59
Speaker
And sometimes I've found I've had to ask myself that in really dark places, like five times plus a day and just keep asking that question again and again and again.
00:14:08
Speaker
What do you want?
00:14:09
Speaker
What do you want?
00:14:10
Speaker
What do you want?
00:14:11
Speaker
And obviously, don't say what you want is something that's been and gone and that's like physically impossible, but it's like,
00:14:17
Speaker
what you want now well with what i've got now i just want to have as much energy as possible and there's crazy things happening out there you see there's like 80 year old like bodybuilders and all these kind of things so looking yeah looking at where you want to go is a really key one but also finding time and
00:14:37
Speaker
to to actually feel some of those emotions and maybe like because there's different kind of like losses i found it's not just losing a person but situations and scenarios but also finding the time to feel those things i do like a little bit daily i'll do that in my meditation my breath work uh sometimes i'll need to feel like some kind of if i like something's gone bad or frustration um i might need to feel that but
00:15:03
Speaker
weekly what I like to do is dive into like a deeper breathwork session as well or just really go into those feelings so for me when things are changing it's about yes about the acceptance looking where you want to go now but also finding time to actually grieve those things and actually allow them to feel in your body and for me one of the most powerful tools to do that has been breathwork personally as well
00:15:31
Speaker
Well, I'd love to get into that.
00:15:33
Speaker
I want to stay focused on our topic, but that's what I found is I had someone once tell me that sometimes just a pure coaching in itself is a spiritual bypass of the emotions.
00:15:44
Speaker
So if like you said, we're suppressing them or we're overlooking them or we're only focused on what we want and not allowing ourselves that moment to process whatever the negative or sad emotion is,
00:15:59
Speaker
then it's a bypass and that can actually kind of cause all sorts of other, you know, unintended consequences.
00:16:05
Speaker
And so tell us just for a minute about the breath work.
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, sure.
00:16:10
Speaker
So what I just like touch on what you said there as well, like.
00:16:16
Speaker
It's it's it's you got you got to be a little bit sensitive with this one because it's not.
00:16:21
Speaker
I always want to be conscious of the look where you want to go and move forward.
00:16:27
Speaker
There's kind of the side of like, oh, forget my feelings.
00:16:31
Speaker
I'm going to like smash the world.
00:16:33
Speaker
And, you know, you see some people out there doing that and you can actually tell that even if they make a bit of money, they're actually got a little bit.
00:16:40
Speaker
they're driven by quite a lot of pain sometimes.
00:16:44
Speaker
I've been one of them as well on that side.
00:16:48
Speaker
But then there's also the, the side where it's just like, you're holding onto something for too long that you don't actually move forward.
00:16:56
Speaker
So for me, the beauty of this, again, this is his personal experience and I can never tell a person when they're ready to move forward or,
00:17:04
Speaker
whatever, it's up to them to decide.
00:17:06
Speaker
I can, as a, you know, as a coach yourself, you know, you can only ask them the questions and challenge and facilitate that.
00:17:12
Speaker
Right.
00:17:14
Speaker
For me, it's about that healthy middle.
00:17:15
Speaker
It's like,
00:17:17
Speaker
okay, right, I'll feel things, allow myself to feel at the same time.
00:17:22
Speaker
I'll look where I want to go as well.
00:17:24
Speaker
Now, sometimes they're a bit out of balance.
00:17:25
Speaker
It's not like a 50-50.
00:17:27
Speaker
If you've just had a nasty breakup, like I would have had a year or two ago, it's just like you need to be feeling that more than perhaps going out there and then start dating, right?
00:17:38
Speaker
But then over time, it's like, okay, you might still be processing something, but actually you're going out there and taking action.
00:17:45
Speaker
You have...
00:17:47
Speaker
or you like lose someone, like someone unfortunately passes away, you're not going to be like, right, I'm going to, well, some people might, but like you've got a business to run, right?
00:17:56
Speaker
And there's certain things you might have to do, right?
00:17:58
Speaker
But there's going to be more time on that grieving for a certain period.
00:18:02
Speaker
And it's not for me to say how long that period is.
00:18:05
Speaker
It's up to the person.
00:18:06
Speaker
But for me, it's about having the two things and then always looking at what I need and feeling into it and being honest.
00:18:12
Speaker
So I just wanted to kind of like say that.
00:18:16
Speaker
But with the breath work, the breath work has been really powerful for me, probably the most powerful modality, because I like to write down things and like sit with things.
00:18:27
Speaker
But what breath work does is there's different sessions.
00:18:31
Speaker
You can do one daily, which is like regulates, calms you down, you know, feels a little bit what's up.
00:18:38
Speaker
And then there's another one I'll do.
00:18:40
Speaker
which is a lot deeper.
00:18:42
Speaker
It's like it's about an hour long.
00:18:45
Speaker
It's not holotropic breathing.
00:18:46
Speaker
It's like somatic breath work.
00:18:49
Speaker
You go, you're really breathing to like activate your sympathetic nervous system, which you're like, why are you doing that?
00:18:58
Speaker
Because that's like the stress.
00:18:59
Speaker
That's the stress.
00:19:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:01
Speaker
But you're doing that to activate and actually feel the stress so that you can regulate it and calm it down.
00:19:07
Speaker
Now, what that does is breathes into the body and taps into some emotions that unconsciously we weren't even aware they were there.
00:19:18
Speaker
And actually that can tap into memories and we go through things and sometimes we like repress things from like even childhood or just like we unconscious.
00:19:28
Speaker
So for me, suppression is when you're just trying to push it away, but repressions when it's quite trauma, very dramatic and you just like unconsciously push it away.
00:19:38
Speaker
But yeah, it really allows you to go deep and actually experience those emotions that may be blocking your
00:19:44
Speaker
you feeling like fully.
00:19:47
Speaker
And sometimes you can come out, like people have been on those sessions and then like, sometimes they're like screaming, they're smashing things, but that's actually a very like healthy release.
00:19:57
Speaker
So that's been a really powerful tool, especially the longer ones.
00:20:02
Speaker
And you get different experiences.
00:20:04
Speaker
It's not, you're going to cry or scream.
00:20:05
Speaker
Sometimes you might just be like,
00:20:08
Speaker
very relaxed other times i've just like laughed through it i just remembered something which was stupid and it's just like oh that was funny that i needed to experience that so it really allows you to tap into some of those emotions a bit deeper through guided uh breathing techniques
00:20:27
Speaker
Mm, that's so cool.
00:20:28
Speaker
I'm so glad we, you know, I veered off track a little bit on our topic, but I think that was really valuable.
00:20:32
Speaker
And I think that moms can certainly get something out of that.
00:20:36
Speaker
So last topic is kind of going back to your teenage self.
00:20:41
Speaker
Like, what do you wish you would have known?
00:20:44
Speaker
Or what advice would you give yourself knowing what you know now?
00:20:49
Speaker
Really interesting, Laura, because I'm actually writing a book right now.
00:20:52
Speaker
about men's mental health and it's um i'm tapping into like every single memory from my childhood i'm not got not i've written so much like you got to the teenage bit yet but there's quite a lot to write about that um what i wish i would have known then like when i go into that um
00:21:11
Speaker
For me, a couple of notable things.
00:21:14
Speaker
I almost died in a car crash when I was 11 years old.
00:21:18
Speaker
And I didn't even process that.
00:21:20
Speaker
And there's a lot of like deaths early on, like losing relatives or I didn't even process them.
00:21:25
Speaker
But it was what I wish I would have known then.
00:21:29
Speaker
Like, and I don't think even like the whole mental health, it wasn't non-existent, but it was certainly a lot of lesser wet.
00:21:36
Speaker
This was, you know, we're talking the early 2000s kind of thing.
00:21:40
Speaker
Like,
00:21:42
Speaker
when I was sort of a young teenager, but it's, or like 11, sort of 12, 13.
00:21:46
Speaker
But I just, yeah, wish I knew how to express and feel a lot more because it was more kind of just like daydreaming, thinking in the future a lot.
00:21:56
Speaker
And actually what it did lead to, I wasn't diagnosed or anything, but I had a friend who was diagnosed with like derealisation, a lot of symptoms similar to that.
00:22:08
Speaker
So I'd have these kind of, yeah,
00:22:11
Speaker
because I wouldn't be experiencing those emotions from the desk and the car crash, all these kinds of things.
00:22:16
Speaker
I was having sort of like panic attacks in class a little bit.
00:22:20
Speaker
I'd be feeling, Oh my God, am I actually here?
00:22:25
Speaker
And it was just like a really scary time for me.
00:22:29
Speaker
There was no like deep diagnosis, but yeah,
00:22:32
Speaker
I kind of felt like it was something like sort of like building up.
00:22:36
Speaker
Fortunately, it kind of went away with time.
00:22:38
Speaker
But yeah, I had a friend who had very similar.
00:22:40
Speaker
So I wish I would have known, and I think it still worked and done, don't get me wrong, but I think it's a bit better known now that like kind of like support on people's mental health a lot more.
00:22:53
Speaker
I can grow even more.
00:22:54
Speaker
And, you know, that's one of my missions with men's mental health in particular.
00:22:58
Speaker
Um, but yeah, being able to express the emotions and like feel things a lot more.
00:23:05
Speaker
The other thing I wish I would have known a lot sooner in life, which I kind of didn't experience, I experienced unintentionally and then realized how I could crave it is how that courage actually built my confidence in things and actually built a better relationship with myself.
00:23:25
Speaker
I was kind of always had this view as a teenager that, oh, okay, they're just like that.
00:23:32
Speaker
But I didn't know what self-esteem confidence was.
00:23:35
Speaker
I just knew the word confidence.
00:23:37
Speaker
But it's like, that's just a confident person.
00:23:39
Speaker
Oh, that's just a confident.
00:23:40
Speaker
That's how I'd label people.
00:23:42
Speaker
Okay, I'm not.
00:23:43
Speaker
Maybe something good will happen to me.
00:23:45
Speaker
And it was very...
00:23:46
Speaker
very disempowering.
00:23:47
Speaker
It wasn't a bad teenage.
00:23:50
Speaker
I'm not going to like make a dramatic story out of it, but it was very much kind of disempowered at certain times.
00:23:57
Speaker
And kind of, I just be like, ah, I wish I knew that courage was a real, real key for me.
00:24:04
Speaker
And courage for me doesn't have to be,
00:24:07
Speaker
like a massive jump, like suddenly you're like doing a speech in front of the whole school, for example, it could be going and then having a tricky conversation with someone or volunteering for one thing.
00:24:19
Speaker
I wish, I wish I knew that a lot sooner, but yeah,
00:24:22
Speaker
you know, I'm glad I learned it later in life as well.
00:24:24
Speaker
So, yeah, I, you know, courage, I'd love to see that promoted in teenage as much as possible.
00:24:31
Speaker
And then also, that kind of feeling into the emotion a lot more would have, I think would have really, really served me because it did come out as I was going out into like more my teen years, and 20s and things like that, it was that emotion come out more and more without realising.
00:24:51
Speaker
Hmm.
00:24:52
Speaker
That's so good.
00:24:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:24:54
Speaker
Last question is, what do you, this is just an out there question, but what do you want for yourself?
Johnny's Personal Reflections and Podcast Info
00:25:03
Speaker
For myself?
00:25:06
Speaker
I, I just love to sit with myself and enjoy like,
00:25:12
Speaker
try and enjoy every day as much as possible whilst doing something like meaningful.
00:25:16
Speaker
Yeah, there's my day-to-day responsibilities, but for me, my intention really is to always keep connected with the inner child side of me, like what he loved doing.
00:25:29
Speaker
So I found that as a powerful one, as I kind of touched on a little bit with the
00:25:35
Speaker
connecting with like the child version of you and doing that every single day, just doing something I enjoy.
00:25:42
Speaker
I also it's also really important, like the relationships in my life, like I'm talking all kind of relationships, like family, friends, et cetera, that they're like really, really important and make time for that.
00:25:55
Speaker
And then also one of the key things for me is always like constantly working on my health, both the physical side and the mental side, and then be able to do that.
00:26:06
Speaker
Like I've got a lot of goals and ambitions, like how much money I want to make, like what kind of business I want to develop, what kind of like mission.
00:26:15
Speaker
So I visit that like several times a day.
00:26:18
Speaker
And what I like to do is just set the next milestone, really, rather than, you know, being a multimillionaire or whatever, you know, like what is the next milestone for me?
00:26:28
Speaker
So those are some of the things that are certainly keeping me going.
00:26:33
Speaker
And the great thing is having like coaches in my corner.
00:26:36
Speaker
I always encourage coaches, having coaches.
00:26:39
Speaker
I've got a great one at the moment, do a lot of men's work with him and has got men's group.
00:26:44
Speaker
um and that that's part of like what i want be part of those communities as well so and okay pardon me because i i feel like i am going into coach mode right now so permission to coach um if you are achieving all these things every day i what does that mean for you like what does that mean to your life if you can do all that for me that's a yeah it's a great coaching question love it laura
00:27:12
Speaker
I can do things.
00:27:13
Speaker
Yeah, for me, it's more... One of the things I'm really trying to do is...
00:27:21
Speaker
it's like I used to, I do try and catch myself from being too much in the achiever mode.
00:27:26
Speaker
And it's like, I don't, I do get into it quite a lot, but one of the things I'm trying to like really experience is one of the top things is to experience a sense of joy and gratitude as much as possible.
00:27:40
Speaker
Now, when I do those things,
00:27:43
Speaker
What it means for me is I'm trying to, again, as our mentor teaches, is to try and really celebrate and feel those things.
00:27:51
Speaker
As the classic achiever mode, it's just like boom, boom, boom.
00:27:56
Speaker
So for me, doing those things each day is just like, yeah, done it.
00:28:01
Speaker
Let's celebrate.
00:28:03
Speaker
And then, yeah, feel good about it afterwards.
00:28:05
Speaker
I think I got what I wanted there.
00:28:08
Speaker
Yes.
00:28:09
Speaker
Sorry, go ahead.
00:28:09
Speaker
Go ahead.
00:28:10
Speaker
Yeah, I was just saying it's feeling like
00:28:13
Speaker
It's feeling those emotions because we do things for emotions, but understanding.
00:28:18
Speaker
Well, I believe we do it.
00:28:20
Speaker
It's going for the emotions, but then also creating a stronger relationship with myself so I can obviously develop that of others as well.
00:28:29
Speaker
Yeah, I think we came full circle there because what you just said to me is.
00:28:34
Speaker
is the key ingredient of your self-esteem and confidence.
00:28:37
Speaker
I almost feel like you kind of doing all these things every day or at least attempting to or a partial effort or whatever, what that means is that it feels good.
00:28:45
Speaker
And then you can like yourself, have a good relationship with yourself and feel that you can trust in yourself that you are able to achieve things.
00:28:55
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:28:59
Speaker
Awesome.
00:28:59
Speaker
Okay.
00:28:59
Speaker
Well, I feel like we kind of nailed it on that or you did.
00:29:03
Speaker
So thank you for that explanation.
00:29:05
Speaker
Johnny, where can people find you going forward?
00:29:08
Speaker
Yeah, sure.
00:29:09
Speaker
You can find my podcast.
00:29:11
Speaker
I've got two, the self-esteem and confidence mindsets.
00:29:14
Speaker
I put out both podcasts, put out five episodes a week.
00:29:18
Speaker
So the self-esteem and confidence mindset podcast have guests as well, like you do, Laura.
00:29:25
Speaker
And then the other one is
00:29:27
Speaker
If you know a man or you've got a man in your life and you think he'd benefit from this, I've got the Men's Mental Health and Growth podcast as well.
00:29:38
Speaker
That's on all podcast platforms, Spotify, Apple, all of the main ones.
00:29:44
Speaker
And then if you want to find me on social media, my handle is Johnny C. Pardo.
00:29:49
Speaker
So Facebook, Instagram, TikTok as well.
00:29:53
Speaker
Perfect.
00:29:54
Speaker
Well, you're killing it.
00:29:55
Speaker
I mean, your podcast top 1%.
00:29:58
Speaker
So congratulations.
00:29:59
Speaker
You're doing great.
00:30:00
Speaker
Amazing.
00:30:01
Speaker
I can't wait to see where else you go from here.
00:30:03
Speaker
Oh, thank you.
00:30:04
Speaker
Appreciate it, Laura.
00:30:05
Speaker
Thank you for having me on.
00:30:06
Speaker
And great.
00:30:08
Speaker
Well done with all the success of yours as well.
00:30:11
Speaker
Thank you.
00:30:11
Speaker
Appreciate it.
00:30:12
Speaker
Okay.
00:30:12
Speaker
Take care.
Closing Remarks and Call to Action
00:30:17
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:30:24
Speaker
Don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends.