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Stress Eating Explained
36 Plays7 months ago
Welcome to The Positively Healthy Mom Podcast! I'm Laura Ollinger, and today, I’m excited to welcome Sherry Shaban, an Osteopath, Health and Life Coach with a wealth of experience in helping individuals heal their relationship with food and achieve a balanced lifestyle. Sherry is passionate about empowering people to listen to their bodies and develop healthy habits that serve them for life. Today, she’s here to talk about "Stress Eating Explained," a topic that resonates with so many moms and parents.
In this episode, Sherry dives deep into the emotional triggers behind stress eating, providing us with insights on how to foster a healthier relationship with food. Her own story of overcoming physical and emotional challenges shaped her holistic approach to health and nutrition, making her advice practical and relatable for those struggling with stress-related eating habits.
Sherry walks us through her personal journey of recovery from disordered eating, touching on her experiences as a former athlete, her battle with injury, and how she transformed her approach to food and fitness. She emphasizes that our relationship with food goes beyond just following a diet—it’s about recognizing and managing the emotions tied to our eating habits.
For parents, this conversation is especially valuable as Sherry shares strategies for modeling healthy relationships with food for our kids. She talks about how to help teens and younger children avoid common pitfalls like emotional eating, and how parents can guide their families toward mindful, intuitive eating practices.
Sherry also highlights the importance of understanding how food affects the body and how we often associate certain foods with guilt or reward. Her approach focuses on de-polarizing food and removing the "good vs. bad" mindset that many diets impose. This mindset shift allows us to release emotional attachments to food and prevent stress eating from becoming a coping mechanism.
A key theme of this episode is self-awareness. Sherry encourages listeners to tune into their body’s signals and to understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to eating. She offers practical tips on how to incorporate this intuitive eating philosophy into everyday life, making it accessible for busy moms and families alike.
Key takeaways from this episode include:
- Understanding the link between stress and emotional eating and how it impacts overall health.
- How to develop a positive relationship with food that helps eliminate guilt and emotional attachments.
- Practical strategies for mindful eating that can help reduce stress eating habits.
- How to model healthy eating behaviors for teens and foster open discussions about food.
- Building routines around food that promote long-term wellness for both parents and children.
Join us for this enlightening conversation with Sherry Shaban as she breaks down the complexities of stress eating and shares empowering ways to transform your relationship with food. Her insights will inspire you to take control of your health and well-being, one mindful bite at a time.
Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel for expert advice on holistic health and wellness, stress management, parenting, and building healthy relationships for both moms and teens. Hit the notification bell to stay updated!
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey moms, it's Laura Olinger.
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
00:00:05
Speaker
Because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:00:13
Speaker
Hello everyone.
00:00:14
Speaker
Welcome to today's episode of the Positively Healthy Mom.
00:00:17
Speaker
Today I have Sherry Chabon, who is an osteopath and health and life coach.
00:00:23
Speaker
So Sherry, say hello to everyone.
00:00:26
Speaker
Hi, Laura.
00:00:26
Speaker
Thank you so much for having me.
00:00:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:29
Speaker
So I'm so excited today.
Challenges in Healthy Eating for Moms and Teens
00:00:31
Speaker
We are going to be talking about a variety of things, but it's all about our relationship to food as moms, but also as an example for our teenagers and our teenage girls and boys who might be, you know, eating maybe in an unhealthy way.
00:00:46
Speaker
So what is your stance on healthy eating and a good relationship with food?
00:00:51
Speaker
Well, thanks so much for asking.
00:00:53
Speaker
And I think this really stems from my story, which I'd like to share really quickly.
00:00:57
Speaker
You know, growing up, I was always super involved in sports.
00:01:00
Speaker
I was a child athlete, and that was something that was a very big part of my identity.
00:01:04
Speaker
But when I was in high school, I was struck by a car, and I ended up having a back surgery and was told that I wasn't going to play sports anymore.
00:01:11
Speaker
And for a very long time, I listened to that advice.
00:01:15
Speaker
And found myself just going down this really big rabbit hole of types of habits that really did not serve me.
00:01:22
Speaker
The type of habits that basically we tell our kids that we don't want them to do while I was doing all these things.
00:01:27
Speaker
And in my early 20s, I kind of just woke up one day just after a night of partying and just
00:01:33
Speaker
not feeling in alignment with myself.
00:01:34
Speaker
And that's when I decided to go back to the gym and really start working on myself again.
00:01:39
Speaker
Even though doctors had said I wasn't allowed to exercise, I was just in so much pain.
00:01:43
Speaker
I was relying on pain medication to get through every single day.
00:01:47
Speaker
And I just couldn't live this way anymore.
Navigating Diet Trends and Emotional Impact
00:01:49
Speaker
And so when I signed up at my local gym, at that point, I had no idea what I was doing.
00:01:54
Speaker
I was actually doing my master's degree in biochemistry.
00:01:56
Speaker
And so what I ended up doing is just copying everybody around me, whatever exercise and movement they were doing, that's what I did.
00:02:03
Speaker
And I got hooked.
00:02:04
Speaker
After a few months, I was able to come off pain medication.
00:02:07
Speaker
I was feeling amazing.
00:02:08
Speaker
I bought a treadmill.
00:02:09
Speaker
I started running.
00:02:10
Speaker
And that's when I decided to shift careers and then get into health and fitness.
00:02:14
Speaker
And that's where I really got my hands on every single certification I possibly could.
00:02:19
Speaker
And that was anything that had to do with the human body, biomechanics, all kinds of trainings, TRX, CrossFit, you name it, I did it.
00:02:26
Speaker
And that's also when I started learning about nutrition because my goal, even though at that point was not to release weight at all, it was really how could I find the best way to eat?
00:02:35
Speaker
We need to know how to eat healthy and I got to learn how to do this because if I know how to do it, I can help my clients do it too.
00:02:41
Speaker
And so back in the day, everyone was talking about counting calories.
00:02:45
Speaker
And so what did I do?
00:02:46
Speaker
I started counting calories.
00:02:47
Speaker
And then all of a sudden, everyone was saying fats are bad.
00:02:50
Speaker
I'm like, what fats are bad?
00:02:51
Speaker
Okay, well, let me go low fat.
00:02:53
Speaker
So I went low fat.
00:02:54
Speaker
It was 0% fat forever.
00:02:55
Speaker
Then all of a sudden, this dude named Atkins said, No, wait a minute, fats are good.
00:02:59
Speaker
And that's what we're supposed to be eating.
00:03:00
Speaker
That's the healthy way to eat.
00:03:01
Speaker
And there's so much science to prove all of that.
00:03:03
Speaker
And so what did I do?
00:03:05
Speaker
I started going Atkins and eventually I opened a CrossFit gym and then I heard that we're supposed to be eating like cavemen.
00:03:10
Speaker
So then I did that and after that that became the zone diet and then the keto diet and then I even became vegan and that's when I started becoming really really confused because that's the whole thing eating healthy according to whatever science book that you read or whatever book that tells you is the right way to eat is going to always be backed by proof and the problem with that is
00:03:30
Speaker
is that when we start to eat this way, we start to polarize foods.
00:03:33
Speaker
And depending on whatever diet you are on, there's gonna be certain foods that are good or certain foods that are bad.
00:03:38
Speaker
And that's what polarity is.
00:03:39
Speaker
You're making this list of foods that are good and this other list that are bad.
00:03:44
Speaker
And now what we do is we start associating emotions with these foods.
00:03:48
Speaker
So if I'm eating,
00:03:49
Speaker
carbohydrates and I just got off the keto diet, I feel super guilty because carbohydrates are bad and they're going to kill me because they're linked to all of these diseases and all these problems.
00:03:58
Speaker
And that's where I start to notice that as I was going through this whole experience of jumping from diet to diet to diet, what I was actually also doing is secretly in the really without even trying it, I was actually developing a disordered relationship with food.
00:04:14
Speaker
And I started
00:04:15
Speaker
experience binge eating.
00:04:16
Speaker
And what I realized is that a lot of clients too, that I was working with those who were struggling with their weight the longest or who were dieting for the longest time were also struggling with food.
00:04:27
Speaker
So even though you'd put them on a meal plan and they would release weight after say six weeks, you'd notice that then they would also start to
00:04:34
Speaker
get a little bit out of control around food because that cheat night suddenly becomes a cheat weekend and what we're actually doing is binge eating.
Understanding Intuitive Eating and Emotional Connections
00:04:41
Speaker
And so to answer your question, the standpoint on understanding what is healthy around food or what it means to even have a healthy diet actually is more of an intuitive process because what might feel right for me might be a little bit different to somebody else and might be maybe even
00:04:56
Speaker
different for me in a few years.
00:04:58
Speaker
And the more that we are intuitive with our bodies, and the more that we really listen to our bodies, and we understand that every single type of quote unquote diet serves a certain person, and that there's not this one size fits all and learn how to eat food in a way that doesn't give it so much meaning that isn't so charging to certain foods, we can then find the right way to eat without the emotional attachments without having to learn to cope with
00:05:24
Speaker
with certain emotions and turn towards food in order to cope with these emotions or that we are struggling with nighttime snacking or any other disordered relationship with food that tends to then drive the weight and drive all of these health effects that we are always trying to avoid in reverse.
00:05:42
Speaker
So it's really interesting.
00:05:43
Speaker
The pattern I heard you say was just how emotions are tied to these foods.
00:05:49
Speaker
And it's funny because if you think of like maybe a robot or something who doesn't have any emotions, like they would be able to choose what would fuel their emotions.
00:05:59
Speaker
system, and they wouldn't have that emotional attachment to it.
00:06:04
Speaker
And so it would be easy for them.
00:06:05
Speaker
But because we are not robots, we are humans.
00:06:08
Speaker
It's not quite so it's not quite so easy.
00:06:10
Speaker
So what is are some ways that you help coach your clients in order to either release those emotions or detach from them?
00:06:20
Speaker
Or what is your process?
00:06:22
Speaker
Yeah, it's, it's all about the nervous system.
00:06:25
Speaker
And the part of the nervous system that I work with is the autonomic nervous system.
00:06:29
Speaker
And the autonomic nervous system, that's, that's the part of the nervous system that controls all the involuntary things like heart rate and heartbeat and blood pressure and temperature and
00:06:37
Speaker
Even hormones, even thoughts and emotions.
00:06:40
Speaker
And depending on which nervous system state you're in, it will drive the hormones, it'll drive the blood pressure, but it'll also drive the thoughts and the emotions.
00:06:47
Speaker
And so the two parts of the autonomic nervous system are sympathetic nervous state, which we've all heard of as maybe fight or fight or freeze.
00:06:55
Speaker
I call it protection mode.
00:06:57
Speaker
And then we also have parasympathetic, which is that rest and digest.
00:07:00
Speaker
That's the natural state that we're supposed to be in most of the time.
00:07:03
Speaker
That's where the body can start to regulate itself, regulate metabolism, regulate hormones, recover and regenerate any tissue and heal itself.
00:07:11
Speaker
And that I call safety mode.
00:07:13
Speaker
But the way that we actually trigger ourselves into protection mode is
00:07:17
Speaker
first of all, is only supposed to be temporary.
00:07:19
Speaker
It's only supposed to be for a short amount of time.
00:07:21
Speaker
Our body does its job.
00:07:22
Speaker
We either get out of a stressful situation, we're able to solve our problems, and then we're supposed to be able to regulate and come back to safety mode.
00:07:30
Speaker
But the way that, first of all, society is set up right now, where it's go, go, go, do more.
00:07:34
Speaker
Why aren't you working seven days a week?
00:07:36
Speaker
And
00:07:36
Speaker
And don't sleep and don't this and sleep is for weak people.
00:07:39
Speaker
And the way that we've actually started to believe all this.
00:07:43
Speaker
And then even when we notice how our kids, for example, are also living this lifestyle.
00:07:48
Speaker
I've got two teenage girls myself and they start school very early in the morning.
00:07:52
Speaker
At the end of the day, they go to sports and then they come back and do homework.
00:07:55
Speaker
And then on the weekends, they've got other sports and activities.
00:07:58
Speaker
And it is nonstop.
00:07:59
Speaker
And we're also
Impact of Lifestyle and Trauma on Eating Behaviors
00:08:00
Speaker
conditioning them to the go, go, go.
00:08:02
Speaker
So that's one way that we kick in protection mode.
00:08:05
Speaker
But other ways also could be from trauma.
00:08:07
Speaker
And trauma could be, of course, sexual or it could be physical or it could be emotional.
00:08:12
Speaker
It could be living with someone who is narcissistic.
00:08:14
Speaker
You're in that type of toxic environment all the time, constantly triggering protection mode.
00:08:18
Speaker
constantly in that that need to survive to protect to to do something to save yourself and then of course another form of trauma that we don't oftentimes talk about is food scarcity food scarcity is actually a form of trauma food scarcity could be real so as in i grew up mom could barely put food on the table i went to bed hungry often or it could also be imposed food scarcity which i call diet dieting is an imposed food scarcity when we restrict ourselves
00:08:45
Speaker
we again turn on that nervous system response.
00:08:48
Speaker
That's why Laura, we're so afraid of food and we're so afraid of gaining weight and we're so afraid of getting big and we're so afraid of how we look and we shame ourselves and we hate ourselves through that process.
00:08:58
Speaker
That is another way that we actually kick in that nervous system state.
00:09:01
Speaker
And when we're in that nervous system state, a couple of things happen in the body.
00:09:04
Speaker
First thing, metabolism has to slow down.
00:09:07
Speaker
Why?
00:09:07
Speaker
Because body's job is right now to conserve energy.
00:09:11
Speaker
When we're in that need for survival, she or he who has the most stored body fat is going to survive the longest.
00:09:18
Speaker
And one of the things that happens is we turn that reptilian part of the brain on.
00:09:21
Speaker
There's this there's this inclination for binging that we all actually have that we're able to turn on when we are in prolonged state of protection mode.
00:09:30
Speaker
And that's where now we see the cravings.
00:09:32
Speaker
We see the sugar cravings.
00:09:34
Speaker
We see that need to maybe turn towards food when we have certain emotions such as loneliness or boredom or stress or maybe even when we're sad or even when we're angry or even when we have joy, we turn to food to cope with those emotions.
00:09:49
Speaker
And so we can also nighttime snack.
00:09:51
Speaker
We can start to see that we have, again, this need to feel a little bit out of congruency with what we're wanting to eat and then what we end up eating.
00:10:00
Speaker
And so instead of really focusing on stop eating this and don't eat that, and this has high omega three and all these things, and again, repolarizing food, what we actually do is talk about how can we regulate the nervous system?
00:10:12
Speaker
How can I start to work on thoughts and emotions?
00:10:15
Speaker
Because when we're in protection mode, all of our thoughts are always on worst case scenarios, they're projected into the future, things that bring us uncertainty, anxiety, fear, doubt, all of this helplessness.
00:10:26
Speaker
And then we are also projected on events that have happened in the past, which bring up those feelings of regret or remorse or of something that is lost, maybe so a lot of sadness and maybe even depression.
00:10:37
Speaker
And when we regulate the nervous system so that we know how every single time we trigger this, we can control thoughts, control emotions to bring it back into safety mode.
00:10:47
Speaker
The cravings are gone.
00:10:48
Speaker
All of a sudden, the self sabotaging behavior is gone.
00:10:51
Speaker
And today I'm talking
Regulating Emotions and Food Relationships
00:10:52
Speaker
about food and I just want to say that food is one vehicle, but alcohol could be another vehicle and cannabis can be another vehicle over shopping could be another vehicle.
00:11:01
Speaker
And so can actually porn watching porn or having, let's say, extra marital sex, sexual events, things like that.
00:11:08
Speaker
All of these are coping mechanisms that really stem from a dysregulated nervous system.
00:11:13
Speaker
And so then is to really work on the internal environment.
00:11:18
Speaker
And because one thing I always share and teach is our outer environment, our physical body is a direct reflection of what's going on inside.
00:11:25
Speaker
And so by understanding how to stay more centered in emotions, more centered around choices, then all of a sudden things start to be more in our control than out.
00:11:36
Speaker
Wow, that was amazing and a lot and such a great explanation and gives an understanding to either our own behaviors or our teenagers behavior.
00:11:47
Speaker
So we wonder why sometimes they do things right.
00:11:50
Speaker
In fact,
00:11:50
Speaker
We wonder that a lot.
00:11:52
Speaker
And we're like, why the heck did they do this?
00:11:55
Speaker
And there's a good chance that it's because they're dysregulated, right?
00:11:58
Speaker
They're out, they're not in that.
00:12:00
Speaker
So when I talk about, you know, you and I are talking about the same thing, but the autonomic nervous system being the, you know, the on or off kind of, you know, I almost say it's like the gas pedal or the brake of the car, right?
00:12:13
Speaker
And it's like when you're very dysregulated, it's kind of like if you were to drive your car and be like, gas brake, gas brake, brake.
00:12:18
Speaker
It's like a total waste of,
00:12:20
Speaker
of energy and it's really damaging to your car because your car is designed to go nice and easy, gas or brake, right?
00:12:27
Speaker
Not this kind of switching back and forth.
00:12:29
Speaker
And so when you're very dysregulated and your body doesn't know what to do, it kind of gets out of control.
00:12:34
Speaker
And an illustration I like to use is from the polyvagal theory, which is, you know, it sounds fancy, but it's very, very easy.
00:12:41
Speaker
It's just like green is calm and relaxed.
00:12:43
Speaker
You know, that's that parasympathetic nervous system where maybe we're going to relax and go to sleep.
00:12:47
Speaker
But it's also the time that we socially connect.
00:12:50
Speaker
It's when we feel empathy.
00:12:52
Speaker
It's when we feel kind of love and belonging, like those positive feelings.
00:12:56
Speaker
And that is when we are the most regulated.
00:12:58
Speaker
And then you go up into the yellow zone, which is kind of like warning, just like a stoplight.
00:13:03
Speaker
And that's when we're like a little bit anxious or we're a little bit stressed and we're kind of starting to get into that fight or flight feelings.
00:13:09
Speaker
And then the very top of this chart is red, where that's where we start to shut down.
00:13:15
Speaker
And that's when we start to feel really sad or very depressed.
00:13:17
Speaker
And that's when because the yellow is so overwhelming that our body has to go somewhere.
00:13:21
Speaker
And so it can either go down to green or up to red and kind of shut down.
00:13:26
Speaker
And so what I'm picturing here when you describe this dysregulated state and the sympathetic nervous system being like really amped up is sorry, my dog is moving the camera is the yellow is just kind of like on overdrive.
00:13:40
Speaker
Right.
00:13:40
Speaker
That that anxious, overwhelmed state.
00:13:43
Speaker
And we don't know how to get ourselves back down into the green.
00:13:46
Speaker
And even if we were able to, then we would better able to make the choices that are in alignment, right?
00:13:54
Speaker
I think this is what I'm hearing you say with what our vision is, right?
00:13:57
Speaker
We have these goals and we have a vision of like, this is what we should eat.
00:14:00
Speaker
And then there's the what we actually eat.
00:14:03
Speaker
And those two lists are not always matching.
00:14:05
Speaker
In fact, they probably aren't most of the time.
00:14:08
Speaker
And on top of that, not only as moms are we that way, but our teenagers, like bringing it back to the teenagers, are even more dysregulated because, A, they don't have that frontal cortex fully developed to help them regulate.
00:14:21
Speaker
But B, their lives are very stressful and they don't have the coping skills set in place.
00:14:27
Speaker
They haven't learned a lot of these skills to be able to.
00:14:30
Speaker
And so...
00:14:31
Speaker
What do you do with that?
00:14:32
Speaker
Like, right?
00:14:33
Speaker
Like we can explain this to our clients.
00:14:35
Speaker
We can teach it to our clients.
00:14:37
Speaker
And I know things I do with my clients to help bring them back down into a balanced state.
00:14:42
Speaker
But what are some things that you do?
00:14:44
Speaker
So good.
00:14:45
Speaker
So good.
00:14:45
Speaker
And, and,
00:14:46
Speaker
These are things we can do with clients.
00:14:48
Speaker
And these are also things we can do with our kids.
00:14:50
Speaker
And even as teenagers, they're beginning to sit in their body.
00:14:54
Speaker
They're beginning to connect with their body.
00:14:55
Speaker
They're beginning to really sit into who they are.
00:14:58
Speaker
And so one thing that we can always do is bring it back to the body because the body keeps the score.
00:15:03
Speaker
And you may have already heard this.
00:15:04
Speaker
And it's a very, very powerful statement.
00:15:07
Speaker
But all emotions and all these things that I shared with you, traumas, or even just stimulating that sympathetic nervous state, all of that is energy.
00:15:15
Speaker
And it all is sitting somewhere in the body.
00:15:17
Speaker
And so one thing that we can all do, and maybe if you're listening in, this could be a little technique that you can try on yourself.
00:15:24
Speaker
And so just sitting really still with yourself and taking a few deep breaths and then scanning the body, maybe for areas of tension and finding areas of tension, starting really from the top of the head, bringing it all the way down to the face and to the shoulders.
00:15:38
Speaker
And just without even questioning too much, just really sitting more in the body, less in the mind.
00:15:43
Speaker
finding an area that has tension.
00:15:46
Speaker
And when you find that area that has tension, you can just even ask that area, what emotion are you holding on to?
00:15:53
Speaker
And the emotion that may come up might be fear.
00:15:56
Speaker
The emotion that may come up might be worry.
00:15:59
Speaker
It might be something that you're not even aware of.
00:16:02
Speaker
And even just, again, without the mind thinking so much, I want this to really be the first thing that comes to your mind.
00:16:08
Speaker
Because the first thing that comes to your mind is what the body is saying.
00:16:11
Speaker
The more we try to interfere and rationalize, that's more our mind that's rationalizing.
00:16:15
Speaker
And whatever emotion comes up, it will stem from four main emotions.
00:16:22
Speaker
We only have four main emotions or feelings.
00:16:24
Speaker
We've got fear.
00:16:26
Speaker
We have sadness.
00:16:27
Speaker
We have anger.
00:16:28
Speaker
And we have joy.
00:16:30
Speaker
And these emotions generally, especially when we feel something like fear, these are emotions that we tend to want to escape or sadness because they're low vibration emotions.
00:16:39
Speaker
It does feel uncomfortable.
00:16:41
Speaker
And we've actually conditioned ourselves anytime we feel these emotions that we need to escape them because they're going to harm us in some way.
00:16:49
Speaker
And that's the thing is they are a part of that sympathetic nervous system response and they're there for a purpose.
00:16:55
Speaker
They actually serve a purpose.
00:16:57
Speaker
So for example, let's say,
00:16:59
Speaker
You're scanning the body and you find jealousy.
00:17:02
Speaker
Okay.
00:17:02
Speaker
What is my emotion?
00:17:03
Speaker
Jealousy.
00:17:04
Speaker
Why?
00:17:04
Speaker
Because someone just got the job title that I wanted and I didn't get it today.
00:17:09
Speaker
Well, jealousy still has a root or roots from one of these or two or more of these four, depending on the person, every single person.
00:17:19
Speaker
Jealousy for me might be anger and fear.
00:17:21
Speaker
Jealousy for someone else might be maybe sadness and fear.
00:17:25
Speaker
So what is it for you now that you've identified?
00:17:28
Speaker
Okay, which of the four?
00:17:30
Speaker
Brute four are there.
00:17:32
Speaker
Now let's break that up.
00:17:33
Speaker
So if, for example, you're noticing that there's fear, well, fear is a very important emotion.
00:17:38
Speaker
Fear is that emotion that basically serves as our blind spots.
00:17:42
Speaker
Fear tells us what to be aware of.
00:17:44
Speaker
Fear tells us and shows us maybe what we don't notice.
00:17:47
Speaker
Fear gives us an opportunity to take action from it.
00:17:51
Speaker
And it's also there again so that we can find a way to protect ourselves.
00:17:56
Speaker
So if we're feeling fear, we shouldn't try to escape it.
00:17:58
Speaker
We should maybe try to understand, okay, fear, what you're trying to tell me?
00:18:01
Speaker
What is it that I don't see?
00:18:02
Speaker
What is it I'm not aware of?
00:18:04
Speaker
And if, for example, I feel anger.
00:18:07
Speaker
Well, anger is also another one of those emotions that sometimes we're embarrassed to express and we shouldn't be angry and anger is a bad thing.
00:18:13
Speaker
But anger is actually how we draw boundaries.
00:18:16
Speaker
It's how we take action.
00:18:18
Speaker
The only way that we can take action is through anger.
00:18:20
Speaker
So if I'm feeling angry, okay, what kind of boundaries do I need to place here?
00:18:24
Speaker
And a higher vibration and fear.
00:18:26
Speaker
So think about it.
00:18:28
Speaker
If let's say I, there was a, I was in the woods and a bear came out and it was attacking my kids.
00:18:33
Speaker
I'd first be afraid.
00:18:35
Speaker
And then if I were to take action to protect my kids, I wouldn't need anger to take action.
00:18:38
Speaker
So it's actually a very useful emotion.
00:18:40
Speaker
Again, part of that protection mode.
00:18:43
Speaker
And then sadness is one of those emotions.
00:18:44
Speaker
Again, that's a heavy one.
00:18:45
Speaker
That sits at the lowest vibration.
00:18:48
Speaker
Actually, lowest, lowest, lowest is shame and guilt.
00:18:50
Speaker
But then above that is sadness.
00:18:53
Speaker
But it's a heavy feeling.
00:18:54
Speaker
You actually feel heaviness in the body because literally your body's vibrating a lot slower.
00:18:58
Speaker
You are actually heavier.
00:19:00
Speaker
And sadness is an important emotion.
00:19:02
Speaker
Sadness shows you that
00:19:03
Speaker
There's something coming to an end and something else is beginning.
00:19:06
Speaker
And that's the law of the universe, that something will end and something else will begin.
00:19:09
Speaker
So that's your opportunity to also reflect on what was going on in my life that's making me sad right now.
00:19:14
Speaker
What is ending and what is beginning?
00:19:17
Speaker
And joy is another important one because a lot of us eat when we have joy or a lot of us maybe tend to turn towards certain substances when we have joy.
00:19:25
Speaker
So what is it?
00:19:26
Speaker
Actually, we're trying to escape from that feeling of joy.
00:19:29
Speaker
And sometimes what could be behind that is that feeling of not enoughness or not deservingness because we have joy.
00:19:36
Speaker
And maybe we're feeling a little bit even guilty that we have a particular sense of joy when maybe someone else is suffering around us.
00:19:42
Speaker
So by allowing yourself just to get curious and really feeling it through your body and starting to breathe into that, you're already going to notice that things are starting to shift.
00:19:50
Speaker
But what we tend to do instead, Laura, is we tend to feel this emotion.
00:19:54
Speaker
There's a trigger.
00:19:55
Speaker
I need a glass of wine.
00:19:56
Speaker
There's a trigger.
00:19:57
Speaker
I need to eat.
00:19:58
Speaker
I need a cookie.
00:19:59
Speaker
And so we don't even give ourselves that opportunity.
00:20:02
Speaker
And so we learn to just condition ourselves and download that pattern.
00:20:06
Speaker
Every time I feel fear, every time I feel worry, or every time I feel this, I'm going to turn to that.
00:20:11
Speaker
And without actually trying to understand that these emotions are there, they're serving a purpose, and they are getting us to really take action in some way.
00:20:20
Speaker
Now, what we can do also, especially, and it's never, ever, ever too late, even if you never maybe held space for your kids growing up and had them express their emotions, or even for yourself, if you grew up in an environment where, let's say, emotions weren't validated, that every time you felt a particular emotion, have a cookie, or if something great happened, have a cookie, and you didn't have that connection with being able to express your emotions,
00:20:44
Speaker
It's never too late.
00:20:45
Speaker
And this is something that you can teach your kids.
00:20:47
Speaker
It's okay to be angry.
00:20:48
Speaker
It's okay to have fear.
00:20:49
Speaker
It's okay to have joy.
00:20:50
Speaker
It's okay to have sadness.
00:20:51
Speaker
And these are not emotions that we need to numb.
00:20:54
Speaker
Boys can cry.
00:20:55
Speaker
And that's okay.
00:20:55
Speaker
Also, whereas again, we're learning that we're not allowed to do that.
00:20:58
Speaker
So giving yourself full permission to express that and express it does not revolve around trying to numb it, trying to escape it, trying to avoid it is so incredibly powerful.
00:21:10
Speaker
And
00:21:10
Speaker
This is a process that obviously takes practice.
00:21:13
Speaker
So I showed you today how to get into your body.
00:21:15
Speaker
And that's one tool that I use.
00:21:17
Speaker
But there's many other tools.
00:21:18
Speaker
But yeah, it's a process and it could be a hit and miss.
00:21:21
Speaker
So as you get started, don't get frustrated with yourself, have a lot of grace, because these have been patterns you've been probably playing out for years and years and years, if not decades.
00:21:29
Speaker
And so allow yourself to get into that.
00:21:32
Speaker
And you'll start to notice that that there are certain emotions, once you break them up, of
00:21:37
Speaker
into those four that I shared, that will drive you to certain behavior.
00:21:40
Speaker
So might always be fear for you.
00:21:43
Speaker
And it could also stem from your childhood.
00:21:45
Speaker
So again, connecting with the body, trying to remember, okay, when was the first time I felt that?
00:21:49
Speaker
What was the circumstance?
00:21:50
Speaker
Well, I was an eight year old girl.
00:21:52
Speaker
So this belief system came from an eight year old girl.
00:21:54
Speaker
It was the eight year old part of me.
00:21:56
Speaker
And now we can start doing some inner child work also around that just to really start to explore what meanings, what does that eight year old girl need to help her maybe
00:22:05
Speaker
change that memory or to give her exactly what is missing in that moment.
00:22:10
Speaker
Hmm.
00:22:11
Speaker
Wow.
00:22:11
Speaker
That was so powerful.
00:22:13
Speaker
Just what you described, because you're right.
00:22:15
Speaker
I think we do feel uncomfortable with uncomfortable emotions and we suppress them or we push them away.
00:22:22
Speaker
And we have a hard time just as humans tolerating these uncomfortable things.
00:22:26
Speaker
And even the joy one, I thought that was so great that you said that because it's true.
00:22:30
Speaker
That's what people, you know, do self-sabotage when they feel joyful or, you know, they have a fear of success.
00:22:36
Speaker
That's some things that I deal with with certain clients.
00:22:39
Speaker
And so, yeah, just giving those pieces space and allow them to process and feel them and kind of accept them instead of resist them.
Evaluating Weight Loss Methods and Holistic Health Benefits
00:22:49
Speaker
So I want to turn the conversation into a different direction before we wind down.
00:22:54
Speaker
Everybody's talking about the injectables for weight loss, the semi-glutides, and I don't know all the proper terms for them, but it's a big thing.
00:23:03
Speaker
It's going on.
00:23:04
Speaker
I know a lot of people that are doing it, and I know a lot of people that have lost a lot of weight.
00:23:08
Speaker
They look amazing.
00:23:10
Speaker
What are your thoughts about that?
00:23:12
Speaker
So my thoughts are to do the research first.
00:23:16
Speaker
first and foremost, and to also start looking up people who are coming forward who are talking about the negative side effects that are not being spoken about.
00:23:23
Speaker
And the issue right now is that, of course, there are a lot of celebrities and big names right now standing behind these medications.
00:23:30
Speaker
But what I'll also say is do the research and find out the other side of the story.
00:23:34
Speaker
If it's too good to be true, most often it is too good to be true.
00:23:38
Speaker
These medications are generally given for people with
00:23:41
Speaker
diabetes, and now they're being prescribed to anybody who's wanting to release weight rapidly.
00:23:47
Speaker
And some of the side effects that I'm seeing with my clients, so things like gastric paralysis, there's, you know, constipation, and it's taking ozempic and semiglutides gives the body the same effect as taking laxatives for a long time.
00:24:00
Speaker
So if you know the effects of what happens when you take laxatives for a long time,
00:24:05
Speaker
you then lose the ability to have that natural, smooth muscle contraction of the colon so that you can eliminate.
00:24:12
Speaker
And so taking Osempic gives you the exact same effects.
00:24:16
Speaker
It also starts to tamper with the body's natural ability to regulate its insulin and its glucose metabolism.
00:24:23
Speaker
And what I always tend to see is that people are successful while they're on these medications.
00:24:29
Speaker
And of course, the idea is to continue to be on them.
00:24:31
Speaker
There's other side effects that include vomiting and diarrhea and vomiting, violent vomiting, like not just feeling sick, but actually like, you know, uncontrollable.
00:24:45
Speaker
So a lot of side effects and a lot of experts also are coming forward to talk about it.
00:24:49
Speaker
But basically, when you take Osempic, you do release weight, yes.
00:24:54
Speaker
And the majority of that weight loss that you actually tend to experience is muscle mass.
00:25:00
Speaker
And so what we end up seeing is anyone who comes off this medication regains that weight back.
00:25:04
Speaker
And so you have to learn how to make certain shifts in your life first, in my opinion, and before you take any other medication that's going to assist you to do that.
00:25:16
Speaker
If you haven't done that yet, if you have not done that yet, what I would recommend is start there.
00:25:21
Speaker
There's so many ways that you can shift certain habits around your nutrition.
00:25:26
Speaker
And I'm anti-diet.
00:25:27
Speaker
And when I say this, it's really habits around
00:25:30
Speaker
maybe when you're eating or bringing in certain certain habits before removing and other habits, but there's certain things that you can do around your nutrition, and around your movement that could fit your lifestyle, that can be sustainable for you, and that can give you the result that you want.
00:25:44
Speaker
But it's our society now has and just kind of what we're talking about the nervous system, it has focus on instant gratification, and an instant
00:25:54
Speaker
I mean, reward, it's an instant reward, I want to do this, and I want to be finished in a month, and I want to see results yesterday.
00:26:00
Speaker
And we're no longer patient around how, how to actually continue to put in that work to see that long term effect.
00:26:08
Speaker
But again, do the research and don't take my word for it.
00:26:12
Speaker
There's so much stuff out there right now.
00:26:14
Speaker
So many people also advocating against this right now.
00:26:16
Speaker
And just be mindful.
00:26:18
Speaker
Again, if it's too good to be true, it's too good to be true.
00:26:21
Speaker
And there's always that rule when it comes to releasing weight, the faster it's off, the faster it comes back.
00:26:28
Speaker
So if you've made lifestyle changes that over a few months, you're now starting to see the effect of, well, those are permanent.
00:26:34
Speaker
But if you make certain changes around your diet that have given you instant and fast results very, very quickly, then it's just as fast to come back to.
00:26:44
Speaker
Yeah, that's...
00:26:47
Speaker
Wow.
00:26:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's great.
00:26:49
Speaker
The other part that, you know, I'm not sure a lot of people are putting a lot of focus or energy into what I think of is the brain health.
00:26:56
Speaker
So, you know, exercise.
00:26:59
Speaker
I don't know if you're familiar with Dr. Daniel Eamon.
00:27:02
Speaker
He's I'm certified through him and he's a big, you know, very well-known psychiatrist who does brain scans.
00:27:09
Speaker
And he talks about how
00:27:11
Speaker
Exercise is the WD-40 of the brain, for the brain.
00:27:14
Speaker
So you're really keeping your brain healthy when you exercise.
00:27:19
Speaker
And when you don't exercise, your brain actually loses mass and it loses lots of things and it doesn't have what it needs to really be.
00:27:28
Speaker
You know, a lot of us moms at some point have had brain fog.
00:27:32
Speaker
You know, a lot of times it's like...
00:27:34
Speaker
either after we've had the babies or we're really stressed out and we're really tired or at any point, we've all kind of had it at one point or another.
00:27:41
Speaker
And in order to eliminate brain fog, to have great brain function, to have healthy thoughts and feelings like we're talking about, in order to have that prefrontal cortex, everything working properly, we need the good diet, we need the good exercise, we need the good stress management, we need good sleep, like all those modifiable lifestyle factors.
00:28:01
Speaker
are not just about weight and looks and appearance, but it's actually about you being your best self, being able to think clearly is like, I can't think of anything.
00:28:10
Speaker
I wouldn't want to give up more like my ability to think clearly.
00:28:13
Speaker
So good.
00:28:14
Speaker
Yeah, so well said. 100%.
00:28:17
Speaker
And that's the thing too, is, you know, we misunderstand that word diet, right?
00:28:21
Speaker
Or, or even just that focus on wellness and, and diet most often times for us is what we're eating, what we're consuming through our mouth.
00:28:29
Speaker
But diet is exactly all the things that you just said, Laura, my diet is the air I breathe.
00:28:35
Speaker
It's the people I hang out with.
00:28:36
Speaker
It's what I watch on TV.
00:28:38
Speaker
It's the books I read.
00:28:39
Speaker
It's the conversations I'm sitting in.
00:28:41
Speaker
And it's,
00:28:41
Speaker
It's all of that that's changing my body's chemistry.
00:28:44
Speaker
That's triggering the nervous system.
00:28:46
Speaker
All of that is my diet.
00:28:47
Speaker
And once you start to look at things differently in that way, and especially when you start to live in a way where everything is about an energetic exchange, everything is about, okay, how is this going to trigger my nervous system?
00:28:59
Speaker
And how is it going to really impact my body?
00:29:03
Speaker
Instead of how is this going to help me lose weight?
00:29:06
Speaker
And is this going to help me gain weight?
00:29:07
Speaker
And so instead of that being the exchange of currency,
00:29:11
Speaker
what if it's now, well, what's that going to do to my hormones?
00:29:14
Speaker
What is that going to do to my nervous system?
00:29:16
Speaker
And sleep is one of those important things that is oftentimes overlooked, you know, just like movement, just like, and when I say movement, I'm not talking about high intensity interval training.
00:29:25
Speaker
I'm really talking about just walking, just getting outside and connecting with nature, which is something again, that we do less and less of, well, not just as we age, but even just seeing our kids now, I, all my kids have cell phones and they've got iPads and they're, you know,
00:29:40
Speaker
And we didn't have that growing up.
00:29:41
Speaker
We played with boxes and we played in parks and it was very different.
00:29:45
Speaker
So even just remembering how simple that can be, just even incorporating that movement into our lifestyle, even that is just part of our diet.
Importance of Breathwork and Podcast Conclusion
00:29:53
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
00:29:55
Speaker
Well, this has been an amazing conversation.
00:29:57
Speaker
Is there anything that you feel like is extremely important that maybe we didn't cover, but that would just add to a mom's understanding of her nervous system or her teenager's nervous system as far as that regulation, that emotional regulation and the relationship with food?
00:30:19
Speaker
Well, so many things that we can add, but I think I would like to leave it off with just breath work and breathing.
00:30:25
Speaker
And this is, again, just part of what we were talking about before, breath being a part of diet.
00:30:29
Speaker
How we breathe is very much, again, dependent on which nervous system state we're in.
00:30:35
Speaker
So imagine, you know, somebody jumps in the room and you're like, and you get startled.
00:30:40
Speaker
And all of a sudden you're breathing through your chest and everything in the day is stressful.
00:30:44
Speaker
And you're just, come on, kids.
00:30:47
Speaker
and everything is always up here in your chest, you're in protection mode.
00:30:51
Speaker
And a really, really quick way to regulate nervous system is just by changing breath.
00:30:56
Speaker
And one thing that we can do, all of us sitting here, putting one hand on the chest, one hand on the belly, taking deep breaths, where as we inhale, we expand first through the belly button.
00:31:05
Speaker
And then lastly, through the top of the chest.
00:31:08
Speaker
And as we exhale, releasing the top of the chest and then the belly button last and just really doing those deep belly breathing.
00:31:15
Speaker
And taking a moment in our days.
00:31:17
Speaker
And again, as busy moms are trying to work and keep the house clean and make sure dinner's there and the kids are well served and my God, they're teenagers and they're teenage problems.
00:31:25
Speaker
Like I could tell you, I can relate with those.
00:31:27
Speaker
It's so important to make that time.
00:31:29
Speaker
And it takes a couple of minutes and we don't do it.
00:31:31
Speaker
We always think that we don't have time.
00:31:33
Speaker
We don't do it.
00:31:34
Speaker
And we make time for everyone else.
00:31:36
Speaker
We make time for our kids.
00:31:37
Speaker
That's non-negotiable, but taking time for ourselves.
00:31:39
Speaker
And I'll tell you now,
00:31:41
Speaker
as the mom, you are the center of the universe of the household.
00:31:45
Speaker
And if you are regulated and if you are calm, and if you are taking care of you and filling your own cup first and putting that oxygen mask on first, like they always say, you're going to impact your kids in the most positive way.
00:31:58
Speaker
Sometimes we think it's, we have to do things for them so that they're good, but it's actually the opposite.
00:32:02
Speaker
We have to do things for us so that they're good.
00:32:05
Speaker
And when we can do that, when we prioritize ourselves, when we really take those moments for ourselves where,
00:32:11
Speaker
It's not my moment for myself is to go eat ice cream.
00:32:14
Speaker
My moment for myself is to go breathe.
00:32:15
Speaker
My moment for myself is to go to connect with nature, go do art, go do that thing that I always want to do.
00:32:20
Speaker
That's a great way also to really regulate the system.
00:32:23
Speaker
And so if you're listening to this and you're resonating with this, take that time, put it in your schedule, make that you time, and then see how that's going to start to impact everyone else around you.
00:32:35
Speaker
I love it.
00:32:36
Speaker
I love it.
00:32:36
Speaker
I could not agree more.
00:32:38
Speaker
So Sherry, where can people find you?
00:32:41
Speaker
Well, Instagram is the easiest way at Sherry Chaban Fitness is my handle.
00:32:46
Speaker
And then also, I'd love to offer you a little something if you're finding that you have some dysregulated emotions, or you're tending to turn towards food to cope with them.
00:32:55
Speaker
If you go to my website, makepeacewithfood.com, I have a free little download for you, where we'll go through some of the things I shared today, but even more, and you've got a couple of exercises as well to do and some self reflection to get you started on your journey.
00:33:08
Speaker
Fantastic.
00:33:09
Speaker
Thank you.
00:33:10
Speaker
I appreciate it.
00:33:10
Speaker
And that's a great offer.
00:33:11
Speaker
I hope everybody goes and gets the download and follows you on Instagram.
00:33:15
Speaker
So I appreciate it.
00:33:16
Speaker
Have a great day.
00:33:17
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:33:18
Speaker
I really love this conversation.
00:33:20
Speaker
You're really great at what you do.
00:33:21
Speaker
Keep it up.
00:33:22
Speaker
Oh, thank you.
00:33:23
Speaker
Thank you.
00:33:23
Speaker
Okay.
00:33:24
Speaker
All right.
00:33:25
Speaker
Take care.
00:33:28
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast, because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:33:35
Speaker
Don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends.