Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Goodpain Podcast Season 02, Episode No. 012: Chef Jay Anthony Irizzary and Puerto Rican Flavor
64 Plays1 month ago
This week we sit down with Chef Jay Anthony Irizzary of Cabo Rojo Cocina Caribeña, a Puerto Rican-inspired culinary brand based in Reno, NV, offering bold, authentic Latin Caribbean food and desserts.
I met Jay while I was in Reno and found his restaurant my first night there. My waiter took my order, delivered my drink and my food. He was also the owner. And the chef. We swapped brief stories as Jay hustled around the restaurant that night and extending our conversation produced this week's episode. The flavor and soul is clear in Jay's food and reflects his desire to create home. The food was awesome, and it was clear Jay was puring his heart into the restaurant and risking much to create a unique experience.
I went back the second night.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Good Pain Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
I love, I love, love, love having this ability to just envision what something's gonna taste like, even though I've never had those flavors in my life. I could envision what it would be like, and for the most part, it works out.
00:00:13
Speaker
I'm Jeremy. And I'm Tyler. Welcome to Good Pain, where we talk about life's true intensities without pretending they're easy to solve. What if the things we're told to fix, optimize, or get over are actually where the real wisdom lives?
00:00:27
Speaker
Each week we gather for the kind of honest conversations you desire to be a part of more often about the relentless demands, the unexpected grief, the quiet victories, and everything in between. Because maybe, just maybe, the answer isn't to limit the hard stuff, it's to find the good in it. Welcome to the conversation.
Jay's Passion for Food and Future Topics
00:00:55
Speaker
This week we are sharing conversation with Jay, the head chef at Casa Cabo Rojo Cocina in Reno, Nevada. I was in Reno at the beginning of this year and looking for a place to eat and right around the corner from my hotel was this five-star restaurant that had only been open for three weeks. And I made my way over there and got to have some of the best food that I'd had in the last couple of years. In talking with the proprietor, the chef, the waiter, who was all the same person, Jay shared his passion for what he was doing and the variety of experiences that he shared, even in our brief conversation, is reflected in the discussion we have today.
00:01:42
Speaker
This is also a preview of next season and the topic we're going to be exploring in season three around art and expression as fundamental features of our humanity. And we're going to be gathering stories from a number of individuals in a number of different venues, some traditional art venues, as well as some that may be more non-traditional.
00:02:01
Speaker
Jay is also an author and if you happen to be in Reno I highly recommend visiting his restaurant and sampling his food. It is a wonderful experience. It may have changed by the time you get there. It was a very intimate experience when I was there. it's something that I'll treasure for a long time and we get to revisit that as well as Jay's motivations and his story in today's conversation.
00:02:25
Speaker
I hope you enjoy it.
Jay's Journey from the Bronx to Culinary Arts
00:02:31
Speaker
Growing up where I grew up in the Bronx, you know, there's this, it's a boiling pot, right? There's so much diversity in the Bronx, but in the areas where I grew up, there really wasn't many people like me.
00:02:44
Speaker
So I always wanted to explore, experience life differently. so I was always the kid to wander off. You know, my mom would always lose me in the store and things like that.
00:02:56
Speaker
um You know, when everyone wanted to watch one thing. I wanted to watch another. i was always that person, you know, for whatever reason. And, um, when it came to what I wanted to do in my life, I knew I wanted to be in the creative space.
00:03:14
Speaker
Um, I was always very artistic with the way that I express myself and also just at home, you know, I was doing arts and crafts and building things out of shoe boxes and things like that. I always knew for a fact, um,
00:03:30
Speaker
It was in the art space and the creative space that I was destined to be for sure. um But yeah, i want to say um just to jump to the origin of of where I'm at today. um I really started um wanting to you know, be behind the camera or in front of the camera. I wanted to direct movies.
00:03:52
Speaker
I wanted to write screenplays, um act, you know, I wanted to do those things. Coming from New York City, I went to a performing arts high school. So cooking was always something that was a huge part of my life organically. You know, coming from a Puerto Rican household, we had home cooked meals every day.
00:04:13
Speaker
um Going out to eat or getting fast food wasn't even a thing for me growing up. um So that was always a huge part of my life regardless. But yeah, but, you know, expressing myself and being able to go to performing arts school, take drama class and ah just explore inside of myself that I held, you know, behind. and I never really expressed myself in those ways.
00:04:40
Speaker
Um, and, uh, it led me to growing up really quickly. You know, I moved out of my house and I was like 17 years old. And, um, this is where cooking came back into play because I was having to take care of myself, you
Cooking as a Creative Outlet and Career
00:04:54
Speaker
know?
00:04:54
Speaker
And of course, more is more. I'm a maximalist. Let's, let's, let's make that clear. So, um, instead of, you know, getting what I could afford as a 17 year old,
00:05:07
Speaker
i would ah I would try my best to like get good things and make good recipes and experiment in the kitchen, you know and Even if it's like something like pasta or chicken alfredo, I'd judge it up, you know, I'd add my own little things to it just because I wanted to, I was bored.
00:05:24
Speaker
And every moment that I take to do anything, whether it's cooking, writing, even, you know, getting dressed, I have a creative aspect to it that I just enjoy, you know, and that's in my life on my own. i don't really talk about that.
00:05:39
Speaker
But, um, but it has a lot to do with why i'm doing what i'm doing today and you know just kind of behind the entire force of it um not just the cooking but you know the existence of the business in general it's all you know it's all part of me somehow some way and um yeah cooking always just came knocking on my door know people would always tell me um you know oh my god like what you make this is so good and i was like yeah i don't even remember what i did you know and
00:06:09
Speaker
those kinds of comments started to become super, super common. um Even as I grew up a little bit in my early twenties, working in a restaurant jobs, front of house, you know, I didn't start cooking professionally until I was like mid twenties, but front of house for many years.
00:06:28
Speaker
And I was still cooking for my, from my roommates. I would bring leftovers for my coworkers. I was that guy to bring like cookies I made last night for everybody. And, um, I kept getting that comment like, man, like you got to do something with this. Like, so, uh, so yeah, that's, that's kind of the, the reason and the journey that led me towards focusing on culinary arts.
Culinary Education and High-Caliber Opportunities
00:06:52
Speaker
Um, I didn't, I had no idea 10 years ago that I don't, I don't a restaurant and, and have this whole thing going, but, um, but yeah, I, I'm grateful to be able to control my creative outlets. You know, if I want to cook, I cook. If I want to bake, I bake. If I want to decorate a beautiful cake, I'll take my time to do that. You know, so it's a blessing to be able to have those those options.
00:07:15
Speaker
there's ah There's a couple of things, one of that I heard in there. you're You're doing these things as a form of expression. And for you you, had this internal compass for what quality meant for you, what that that that threshold that for you, you wanted to drive for. And then you start getting these these validations from outside of yourself, which which can be great because it's saying, hey, there's a market for this.
00:07:47
Speaker
Where did that sense of you knowing your quality threshold and you holding yourself to that standard start to emerge, that quality, and when you knew that you had a standard for yourself? Turning just everyday ingredients into something extraordinary, whether it's like an exotic ingredient it or not.
00:08:08
Speaker
um And I was able to hold my own against chefs of that caliber. I'm talking like chefs with 25 years experience cooking in Italy and France. And I'm just here from the Bronx, you know, just coming up with my own little things.
00:08:24
Speaker
you know rubbing shoulders with some some pretty significant chefs in the game. you know Living in LA, I was lucky enough to have a plethora of restaurants to choose from. So I was lucky enough to work into some pretty pretty popping spots in in l LA and taught me a lot.
00:08:41
Speaker
But yeah, back to your question, it was it was definitely being surrounded by chefs of that caliber and me kind of keeping up and holding my own and even impressing my my colleagues and my other chefs.
00:08:53
Speaker
That was something that told me, like, you know, maybe this is... a talent more than a skill and um it is not for everyone it's it's a hard you would think that it's life or death you would think you're a surgeon with the type of pressure that this industry comes with but it's definitely rewarding it gives me the chance to again be creative every day and just i'm very Introverted, you know, so I speak through my food these days a lot. I enjoy that more. I prefer everyone kind of going crazy over a dish, whether they knew I made it or not, rather than being like the center of conversation. Yeah.
00:09:36
Speaker
Yeah, you went to a performing an arts school where you're taught on some of the process work and and how to build craft.
00:09:46
Speaker
But you also talked about what you said, this talent or this ability to perceive the world differently.
00:09:57
Speaker
And that over time, the gap starts to narrow between what you want to realize, the things you know, and also your craft starting to catch up and being able to say and understand how you bring that expression that lives inside of you to life.
00:10:17
Speaker
You knew that there was a certain experience you wanted to deliver. and that you needed to be able to develop the skills to do that, when did you start to come into your own and say, oh yeah, I'm hitting it the way I want to.
00:10:35
Speaker
I'm giving the experience. It's being it's happening. Now it's happening. That feeling started you know before i i felt like I was sharing the experience. I felt like I was getting it in the way that I was supposed to be getting it. And it definitely started when I started culinary school.
Community-Based Culinary Values
00:10:55
Speaker
It was a small trade program, nothing fancy. It was a six month program that was totally paid for by the city. um But it was like selective program.
00:11:07
Speaker
And I heard about it bartending, just somebody who was aware about it. And I got this tattoo before, which is another, you know, tell sign, but I got this chef knife before my culinary you know journey, my professional one at least.
00:11:27
Speaker
I got it because I just knew that I loved cooking at that point. I was bartending and one of my customers at the bar noticed the chef knife.
00:11:38
Speaker
and asked me if I was a chef. And I immediately started laughing because I'm like, you know, but we got into conversation. And that's where this guest had shared with me ah the program, culinary arts arts program, where it's a bunch of applicants and only like eight or nine get selected.
00:11:58
Speaker
and it's a full ride for this trade school. And it's, you know, culinary arts heavy. It's all about it. They have like different programs. I really didn't take it serious at first because I was just like, ah it's all the way in Venice Beach. And I lived in Hollywood at the time.
00:12:14
Speaker
So if you know anything about L.A., that's like a lifetime. so I was like, ah you know, I didn't have a car. So I was like, you know. Didn't really take it serious. And then, you know, a few days later, i decided to give them a call, set up ah like an interview.
00:12:32
Speaker
After that, you know, i got the call. I got accepted into the program. And it really felt like true, you know, like proper culinary school. You know, it was just advanced.
00:12:43
Speaker
The things I learned there and You know, the moments that had there with those students, I would never forget it. And I apply those things to this day. And I teach other chefs the things I've learned from my little six-month trade program, you know?
00:12:59
Speaker
But yeah, but it's when I was there and I was like really excelling and just, I guess, taking it so serious because I'm just like... telling my parents like, yeah, I'm in culinary school, you know, i got accepted.
00:13:12
Speaker
i was so proud of it. And I was really young at the time, too. So I was like 22, want to say. And I was working as a bartender at the same time. So I was really hustling at this time, working during the day. i mean, going to school during the day, working at night, doing it seven days a week.
00:13:29
Speaker
And um Yeah, when I started getting comments from, you know, the cooking professors and just everyone involved in the program, they they kept pointing me out and they kept saying like, you know, you should you should really pursue this. yeah is This is something you should really do.
00:13:48
Speaker
um They were giving me all these statistics and they were like, about like 15% of the students go on and actually work in the industry. a lot of A lot of the students that do this particular program, this is more of just like a transition period for them.
00:14:06
Speaker
But once in the blue, they get students like me who are like full on, I want to be a chef, I want to do this. I didn't know I want to do this, but you know, I'm here now, i'm good at this.
00:14:17
Speaker
So yeah, it's something I fell in love with during those days. Just ended up, you know, being recognized amongst all of the students in the program and doing really well. I fell in love with the whole process and it was during those days that I personally felt like, right, this is the experience I needed.
00:14:34
Speaker
you know, because if I had thought at any point in my life, oh, want to be a chef, I want to do this. Like, this is just like the foundation. And I did it without even it came to me, you know, like, I just didn't seek it out. Yeah. so I felt like it was meant to be.
Challenges of Running a Restaurant
00:14:49
Speaker
And yeah, you know, jumping from culinary school straight into like a Michelin star French hotspot. Like, I didn't really have that in between and kind of experience.
00:15:01
Speaker
Like I said, I was able to hold my own with those chefs and it was It was really cool. But those it was during those moments and during those days where I felt like I got what I needed, now I can give what I want to give. And I've been able to do that ever since. You mentioned this going against the grain, finding an alternative path into things, that the the well-trodden path a lot of people in this space believe they need to take They need to go to a validated culinary program that what I hear even is a deep appreciation for that smaller, more intimate experience. Many people would say, yeah, don't pursue that. If you want to go do this, you got to go somewhere else. And and for you, you embrace the fact that this is finding you in a way that is consistent with your values, working alongside people that
00:15:57
Speaker
are in a similar position. This isn't a big brand name. This is people that are working day jobs or trying to hold things together and they're somehow scrapping their way to doing something and exploring something that they love.
00:16:13
Speaker
What was it like being a part of more of a community-based program as opposed to that credential that everybody says you need to go forsake your community and go compete in order to win it was awesome I mean it was what I prefer over anything i would prefer this casual program over a prestigious culinary school any day um it was a lot of fun and a lot of like-minded individuals
00:16:46
Speaker
I mean, me working the hospitality since I've been able to work at 13 years old, um I've had to switch on and off my hospitality version of myself. And then i have like this like little kid Bronx version of myself as well.
00:17:04
Speaker
As I'm sure you understand, we all have versions of ourselves. It's all part of one. but um I definitely was able to just be myself with a group like that. a bunch of people just wanting to work in the kitchen.
00:17:19
Speaker
um a lot of people who came from similar places that I came from, to be honest. And just being able to absolutely be myself. That was something that i hadn't had that experience moving away from home at such a young age.
00:17:35
Speaker
um kind of growing up so, so quick, being around just, you know, rich mature people all the time. um And yeah, once I started this program, once I started being in the kitchen, even to this day, it's just, it's casual in a way that you could really appreciate.
00:17:59
Speaker
And at this point, I've seen it all. I've honestly, I've seen it all and nothing is ever that serious. You know what I mean?
00:18:10
Speaker
So, yeah, even even if I'm a part of like a very exclusive, prestigious event, um even then the kitchen is just always casual.
00:18:21
Speaker
You know, like you can be cooking for the president, which I have before. And, you know, we're just joking around in the back, you know, just hanging out, tasting food.
00:18:33
Speaker
um It's just you don't have to have your guard up all the time the way that you have to have it when you're in front of house or, you know, any job for that matter.
00:18:45
Speaker
When you're in the kitchen, people let you be you because you're making amazing food and they're not questioning you. And, you know, for the most part, you're loved, you're well loved by everyone. You're feeding everyone.
00:18:59
Speaker
so Yeah, those are the experiences that I've had. I mean, outside of the the harder ones, those are the more enjoyable experiences and make it all worth it for sure.
00:19:10
Speaker
You know, any route that we take, it's going to be hard. so you got to choose your battle, you know, make your bed, lie in it and um and just try to be happy with your choices. when i tell people about the experience i had ian reno coming to your restaurants three weeks after you'd opened that location i described to them all of the the things that sets the scene of it's a restaurant inside of another restaurant you go in there and you meet the guy he takes your order
00:19:43
Speaker
it's very apparent very quickly jay is taking your order jay is cooking your food jay is taking your bill like there's an intimacy there in what you describe about the casual is that you're not above anything and and creating that space where it's not title it's not role it's we're we're all in this together And yet, you and I also know that that kicks your ass. Doing everything all at once is it's exhausting. And there is something to say like when you start staffing up to be able to say, like who I can finally take a break from this.
00:20:29
Speaker
But you don't want that to come at the cost of the experience, of the intimacy. Because for me, that person, you, taking my order and then making the food and bringing it out. Like that's your heart on that plate. That's your heart in front of me. Like that's, there's a beauty to that.
00:20:49
Speaker
That still has some very personal costs. You're hustling your ass off. How are you processing that as things start to grow, how do you maintain that sense of culture that's so important?
Balancing Business Aspirations and Authenticity
00:21:04
Speaker
Thank you for saying that and kind of pointing out or describing your side of things because I'm never on in the guest's point of view. you know I'm never on that side of things. So it's it's beautiful it's beautiful to hear that that's what you got from the experience.
00:21:20
Speaker
I've come to realize that you you know im I'm not perfect. Nobody is. And you know when you're when you're feeding the general public as opposed to friends and family, it's a whole different ballpark. You know what I mean?
00:21:38
Speaker
And it's it's ah it's a different feeling that I get for both. So when I'm at the restaurant and I'm able to, you know, personally take someone's order, talk talk to them, you know, explain the menu.
00:21:53
Speaker
um yeah I always get this comment from people outside looking in like, oh, you know these people? these are your friends? Oh, is this is this family? And I'm like, no, I don't know any of these people. I just met these people today. They're here to eat and I'm i'm happy that they're here.
00:22:11
Speaker
This is like my little space of tranquility when I'm in my kitchen. I'm here alone, you know, and completely alone. And I don't see that as a bad thing. I see that as I'm able to really focus on on these experiences.
00:22:27
Speaker
um And as far as like having help, you know, i've I've had that experience in the past before too. So i'm I'm sort of navigating things, just taking a different approach this time around.
00:22:40
Speaker
um Just with all aspects of this new restaurant, when it comes to, you know, the restaurant itself, like renting inside of a an existing restaurant as opposed to having my own.
00:22:53
Speaker
standalone which comes with huge risk and cost. And even like just working it like a bistro style where I'm just kind of doing everything on my own. I like to call it casita style because when you go to your mom's house with a group of six, you know, it's your mom hosting, your mom cooking, your mom serving, right?
00:23:14
Speaker
Doing it all alone. Of course, we're helping, but, you know, for the most part, it's like when a person is hosting in their home, usually just that person. and So I try to emulate that. And I think I even tell myself, like, you're home.
00:23:29
Speaker
People coming over today. Like, just treat it like that, you know? and um And so that's what I do. That's what I do all the time. And I guess that kind of helps, you know, differentiate what's going on here, because I get a lot of people who come in treating me like, you know, an established corporate restaurant, you know, and so they they have those expectations.
00:23:52
Speaker
So I immediately like set those expectations when i introduce myself, let them know, like, it's a one man show. That's how I'm working it. um But yeah, but I definitely have, like I want to to grow the experience, like I mentioned in the beginning of our conversation and be able to find people or have people find me for that matter or Cabo Rojo for that matter.
00:24:16
Speaker
Because I know they they will. And yeah. eventually we'll have a solid team that will feel like family but i'm not in any i'm in no rush you know what i mean like i'm just in no rush in general even with the pacing of the restaurant and the promotion and everything it's it's doing super well i really can't ask for anything more and um having to do anything extra is exhausting on top of everything else i have to do so i'm just letting it do its thing right and it's been
00:24:49
Speaker
doing its thing, you know, especially this last week, it's ramped up. but um But yeah, but at the end of the day, I'm still going through, you know, the the and the the good and the bad of it.
00:25:01
Speaker
It's a give or take, but that comes with anything. Anything you you decide to do, it's going to come with its pros and cons. You talked about the versions of yourself, where a version of yourself would have responded very differently to what you are. And what was that version like?
00:25:17
Speaker
That version was definitely here yesterday for a couple hours. Okay, okay, here, here. I definitely had my moment of just all negativity taking over because it happens to the best of us. And um I had my moment, you know, and it's it's different because um I don't really have any business partners with this with this location. i did in the L.A. location. But with this one, i don't really have anyone to speak about these kinds of things with and sort of brainstorm. How are we going problem solve this?
00:25:52
Speaker
how can we like serve and like still conduct business or operate at all in light of the situation. So those are conversations I have to sit and have with myself and I just drive myself crazy, you know.
00:26:06
Speaker
um But yeah, I don't think that's that situation or this situation is unique um when it comes to entrepreneurship.
00:26:17
Speaker
And um I've grown to have this understanding. So that's why i'm able to say that now. Just making friends with other entrepreneurs and hearing you know the horror stories, um even the ones in public, right? yeah so So yeah, so like at this point,
00:26:37
Speaker
These days, i give myself a little bit of time with other versions of myself. And then i try to like just jump back into this is part of it. This is part of it. This is all part of it.
00:26:51
Speaker
So let me just focus on today Tomorrow's tomorrow. I appreciate
Creating an Inclusive Restaurant Experience
00:26:55
Speaker
that. I also recognize the irony of the next question I'm going to ask because ah you just gave a beautiful response about staying present in the here and now, what you can control today. then I'm going to ask, if you were to stand 12 months in the future and look back, what are the things that you would be ecstatic about, euphoric about?
00:27:19
Speaker
that you're hoping understanding that each day is going to serve up what you need for that day but what are you hoping you'll where you'll be 12 months from now i'm hoping that i will be in a lot more control because believe it or not i control like 60 of what what's going on the the other 40 just like laws, licensing, logistics, things that are out of my control.
00:27:49
Speaker
So yeah, I'm hoping that in 12 months I can look back and say like, geez, like you did this, you did that, you know, you had to shut down, you had to figure this out.
00:28:01
Speaker
Now you're here, hopefully in our own standalone location. because that was always the goal. This was always meant to be temporary. And just feeling like I have a little bit more control.
00:28:12
Speaker
i feel like time is going to give me that for sure because I'm im i'm going through those beginning stages as as like As if I was opening up brand a brand new restaurant on my own, even working out of an existing restaurant.
00:28:30
Speaker
Reno has different requirements than other states. So they're like, yeah, it's okay that you're going to run a ghost kitchen out of an existing restaurant, but you still have to do the process as if you're opening up an entire establishment standalone.
00:28:45
Speaker
um as if you're building and you're bringing equipment and so that you know things like that i'm just like okay one day one day this will all be done with and then i'll be able to have a little more control with my time my finances and and just the overall you know message of the brand because we want to be i always say we and it's it's it's just me but yeah um I really want to be like the voice, you know, I want to be where people experience or reclaim their identity and and and have that in all different kinds of ways, not just Puerto Rican, Latin Caribbean, of course, because there's a lot of underrepresentation here. And there's tons of Cubans and Colombians and Panamanians that I've met.
00:29:35
Speaker
And they have nowhere to go know where be themselves. You know what i mean? And talk about things that they familiar with, which when they come to my restaurant, they're like, oh, I remember this and I know what this is and I know these ingredients. And so we're chit chatting and we're talking and and I get the same high because I'm like, oh, finally someone who speaks my language, you know, you've now used the phrase a place for people to be themselves.
00:30:03
Speaker
You earlier were talking about that experience for yourself, about being able to be yourself. What does that mean for you to be yourself?
00:30:16
Speaker
You know, just being, not having your guard up, you know, um, not having to pull out one of the versions of yourself, just, just being comfortable, um,
00:30:30
Speaker
doing what you want to do, say what you want to say, um and eat what you want to eat, eat how you want to eat, you know, talk about whatever you want to talk about. Because it's just, it's it's a place for everyone. And Cabo Pro has already proven that to me.
00:30:50
Speaker
So my job is to maintain that experience, you know, because it's done it on its own. I've had I've had the richest families come and dine and I've had people like me come and dine. You know what i mean? Like and and both have a similar experience, you know, and it never takes away from from you know, one thing just to quickly popcorn off of this idea.
00:31:17
Speaker
One thing that I really can't stand about the industry. business and debt in general is the differentiation of, you know, this is marketed towards people who have money and come from money and have a lot of disposable income.
00:31:33
Speaker
And this is marketed towards people who are, you know, looking for a bargain. um There are very, very, very like
00:31:45
Speaker
there aren't very many places that cater to just everyone. And that goes for retail, restaurants, you name it. um And being being a part of it and being in it and having consultations with people who are trying to help me grow my business, these are conversations that are had and I'm just like, forget about all of that. I'm not worried about any of that. you know I'm not trying to appeal to...
00:32:11
Speaker
like Maybe that's where I'm flawed in the business, but it hasn't it hasn't come to bite me in the ass yet. But I'm not really thinking about my target audience.
Offering a Genuine Dining Experience
00:32:22
Speaker
I'm not. You know what i mean? It's just like anyone walking down the street is my target audience. So i want to be able to appeal to, like I mentioned in my book, I love the idea of being able to appeal to like foodies who travel across the globe.
00:32:38
Speaker
Right. But also like just the casual eater who eats Burger King often, which I do, too. You know, it I'm not even trying to say anything. I'm just trying to say, you know,
00:32:51
Speaker
ah The food and the experience has been able to appeal to like that range. So why do i have to choose? You know what i mean? So, yeah. So that comes down to why I just want people to just be themselves because you'll be surprised.
00:33:06
Speaker
There are a lot of people who are who who gravitate towards. you know, businesses that they're marketed to. Like if you, you know, have a lot of disposable income, you have a great job, you know, you don't know what to do with your money, you know, which a lot of us do that.
00:33:22
Speaker
And I've had that experience too, like myself, going to places where I'm like, you know, i'm and ah umm I'm expecting a certain experience and maybe I did get it but it's not, I didn't feel like I can be myself in there.
00:33:36
Speaker
um And so that's the feeling. i don't want I don't want anyone to ever have that feeling coming into my vocation. um But it's not easy, you know, you can't please them all. So, you know, I'm grateful for the people who do come in and have a beautiful experience. There are people who prefer a different experience, believe it or not. There are a lot of people who come in and they're like,
00:33:58
Speaker
you need this and you need that and you need this and you need that. And I'm like, tell me about it, you know? um But yeah, but for the most part, people kind of understand like the flow and what I got going on.
00:34:13
Speaker
As long as they understand that concept, Big part. but it's the guess that i are not really you know familiar with a concept like that and so they're just like you know what's where am i what's going on you know where's the menu big part of what I hear you saying is is that you don't want to pre-qualify. You don't want to train people to be something that they're not. You want to take away the pretense of needing to pretend or or try to become something that you just naturally can be by just showing up.
00:34:51
Speaker
You want people to show up And maybe not even as themselves, but understand that you're creating an invitation for setting aside the the pretensions, the pretending and relearning how to be yourself almost with an element of surprise, because I think that's one of the things that I experienced was.
00:35:14
Speaker
Coming there, taking that first bite and just being surprised with the flavors, with the the things, not even knowing what to expect and then being surprised with, I am just enjoying the experience right now.
00:35:29
Speaker
and And that I don't need to have a credential in order to... enjoy living in this moment right now and that sounds to me a little bit of what you're reaching for that's exactly what i hope for most people coming in um and maybe it it has happened um not everyone shares it no not everyone shares their experience so it means a lot you know for you to take the time to tell me things like that because you don't like i said you would you wouldn't ever know unless someone
00:36:04
Speaker
leaves you a review or reaches out to you with feedback, which happens once in a blue moon, which is a great, amazing feeling. But it's always about the food and and things like that.
00:36:16
Speaker
um And the experience is something that I always think about as well. So, yeah, thank you again for mentioning for mentioning that. And honestly, yeah, I'm not really um doing anything out of the ordinary besides doing what I think is right.
00:36:34
Speaker
you know, um or doing what I, as long as I'm covering all the bases, um like for general service, when someone comes in to eat, um everything else happens on its own. And then the next guest, it's like, it's different for that guest, you know, and every table that comes in um just organically just has a different experience. But I always,
00:37:00
Speaker
do try to go out my way, um you know, and I don't mention this for any other reason, but to to say like, I guess that's me trying to keep up with that, that experience. But I'm always thinking like, you know, what can I do like this?
00:37:15
Speaker
Like, as if I know, like this person is an aunt of mine, or I guess that feeling comes a lot because I i get a lot of people who call me um and they do feel like family. They do feel like I'm speaking to an aunt.
00:37:28
Speaker
um And it's just a Puerto Rican woman who lives in Reno. And she's like, Hey, Bobby, you know? So, um, I'm always thinking, you know, like with every single order, like, especially the take the ones that are, that are to go for takeout. Cause I don't really get the chance to speak to them or anything like that.
00:37:48
Speaker
Um, you know, what can I do? Like shave off a couple of bucks, give them some like Puerto Rican candies. And sometimes I give like, um, little samples of like my seasonings that I make and just little things like that. And I'm not thinking about the business side of it.
00:38:05
Speaker
I'm not, um I'm genuinely just thinking about like, Oh, how can they remember this situation? How can they bring a little bit of this home with them? Just, they were so excited to come and, you know, they showed so much love and their feedback was incredible.
00:38:19
Speaker
um And I try to do that with every single, sometimes I don't get around to it, But it's it's always in my mind of how I can do that. um Even if it's like a free drink or I hate saying free. I hate saying free, but it's just like a drink I want you to try. You know what I mean?
00:38:36
Speaker
And I'm just like, here, try this. I want you to taste it. Let me know if you like it. if you don't like it, it's okay. I think that definitely aids in the just experience of feeling organic. Um, cause that's the same thing I would do if my friends came in to support or if my family came in to support, i would literally do the same exact thing. And I would have that same mindset.
00:38:56
Speaker
Um, and I want everyone to have that or feel that a little part of it, you know, um, there are times where I'm, I can't do it cause I'm running around. Um, and there are times where I don't show it because I'm running around and and they just wouldn't know. Um, like, uh,
00:39:13
Speaker
I think about that the night that you came um because in the back of my mind, I'd had like 15 things to get to, but at the same time, I never want to feel rushed. I never want the experience to feel rushed.
00:39:27
Speaker
um And then I always think, you know what, what's another minute, you know, like if I were to leave this, this, this moment, a minute sooner, what difference would it have made?
00:39:39
Speaker
Nothing, not really much. So I'm like, you know what, I'll take the extra minute or two. I'll do this, I'll do that. And I'll get to what I got to get to. So then I'm just like, chill. It doesn't feel chaotic.
00:39:50
Speaker
um And I'm grateful to be here because it wasn't like this when my first restaurant opening in LA, I was, I was a nightmare. I was a nightmare. I was, and I hate thinking back to those days because it was out of my control. A lot of the times, like i would just completely have a nervous breakdown and um take it out on on my staff and the team and It was really bad. It was nasty. And I hated that version of myself. But it came out because the business is intense. This is no joke. You know, like running a restaurant is it's very intense um and it can get, you know, overwhelming. Whether it's busy or not busy, it can get overwhelming. I take all of that.
00:40:33
Speaker
I put it in my book. I was able to release it and And I moved on ever since my my book released, which that started back in 2016. I started writing parts of the book.
00:40:46
Speaker
I never started in order. And I and i read my book back. I didn't have a fancy editor. i didn't have a fancy proofreader, right? And I read my book back and I noticed, I was like, oh, I was a little repetitive here and there. And I was a little, but you know, um,
00:41:01
Speaker
I sat and I wrote it, you know, like, what can I do? And, um, that, that really helped me just release all that I went through up until that point. And, um, and just move forward with this new state of mind and, and kind of going into the business just with a peaceful calm.
00:41:20
Speaker
Like I'm doing this for the people at the end of the day.
Publishing a Cookbook during the Pandemic
00:41:24
Speaker
Um, but I'm doing it for myself. So. I'm trying to like just be easy on myself as well and not be so hard on myself. But I used to, I used to be really hard on myself.
00:41:36
Speaker
You're embracing people at different stages of life and and you've been through multiple stages of life. And, and so for you, what's the,
00:41:48
Speaker
yeah you You are who you are today. For people that are coming in or will be coming in as the this expression, this piece of you, right?
00:41:59
Speaker
The restaurant is is not independent from you. It it it is you right now. What's the thing that you would like people to, to know maybe different than what we've talked about when they step through the doors and get invited into this experience. I want them to know that the chef and owner of that place is me and I'm absolutely gonna treat them like family.
00:42:25
Speaker
I mean, Saying that now kind of sounds a little cliche. A lot of a lot of restaurants say like, oh we treat you like family. But I really truly mean that. And that's that's not a feeling you can get just anywhere.
00:42:37
Speaker
So I take a lot of pride in that. And like I said, this is coming from a lot of just feedback I get from people that I meet at the restaurant. um So I was never aware of it up until kind of recently.
00:42:54
Speaker
um Because I mean, people who don't know me from a hole in the wall are like sending me paragraphs sometimes about how they felt about how what the food meant to them. And um yeah, like beyond coming in to have like something that I invented.
00:43:10
Speaker
you know, cooked with seasonings that I even made. you're a lot of people come in and they've never had flavors like that, even if they grew up in Puerto Rico or if they grew up on in the Bronx, New York, where the food is, there's a plethora of Puerto Rican restaurants.
00:43:28
Speaker
There's something that i and I would never take shortcuts when it comes to my food. um So like I make my own ketchup, I make my own mayo. It's unnecessary things sometimes, but it's like, that's the point of me doing this, you know, whether I do it for the public or I do it at home for my friends.
00:43:50
Speaker
Um, it's, I'm always going to want to be doing this no matter what. Um, I love, I love, love, love having this ability to just envision what something's going to taste like, even though i've never,
00:44:03
Speaker
had those flavors in my life. I could envision what it would be like. And for the most part, it works out. It works out as as I can imagine what many chefs go through.
00:44:13
Speaker
um and so that's a feeling that it's, I get such a high from that. Cause I'm like, like I knew, like I knew it, like I knew this was going to work, you know? So yeah,
00:44:24
Speaker
So yeah, so I, that, that, that experience of me in the kitchen, like they're getting a part of that without even realizing it, you know? And so that probably has a lot to do with, you know, why people come back for the food and, you know, people, this cookbook also, like it, I just started writing a memoir, like ah for myself, it was like a, it was more of like a journal kind of thing.
00:44:48
Speaker
Um, but when COVID happened and um my my restaurant i closed my restaurant, my first restaurant. I had so many people reach out, like, please share recipes, please do this. A lot during COVID, because I was making lot of cooking videos before I started the business.
00:45:08
Speaker
And um it happened again the same way when I closed my first location down. um So that's what inspired me to include some of my recipes in the book. Otherwise, it would have never happened.
00:45:21
Speaker
But to this day, you know, like every book that I have on display always gets taken home and it's it's usually after they eat and they're just like, wait, like, I want to, I have to see what's going on
Reflections and Future Aspirations
00:45:32
Speaker
here. And it's to the point that our restaurants have purchased the book.
00:45:37
Speaker
ah People who like make Puerto Rican food in San Francisco and Los Angeles and Florida. have purchased the book and reached out to me like, hey, I own this restaurant. I'm excited to try your recipes, which I appreciate. Like, thank you for sharing.
00:45:54
Speaker
You could do whatever you want with the book and with the recipes. So thank you for sharing that you're going to be trying my recipes at your restaurant. But that things like that started to really show me like something like there's something different going on here and I want to continue growing it.
00:46:09
Speaker
Because I don't know of anything like this that exists personally. in my little bubble just working on it. So maybe someone else is out here doing something similar. i wouldn't know, but I want to continue this concept. And hopefully, you know, even if it's a community hub, like a little place, like I'm not necessarily looking for but like to be viral or to be a household name or to be a franchise or anything like that. I really am not.
00:46:35
Speaker
I'm more than happy just being the local spot. yeah This city's best little Puerto Rican spot, you know, come try it out. And um yeah, like I have a lot of plans for the future. So I'm excited for what's to come. But as of right now, I'm really just trying to sit back and smell like a cafecito.
00:46:54
Speaker
You know what I mean? Really, because I never get to do that. I'm sure you can understand that. You know what I mean? You have to really, you know, just put some effort into it. and pause and really think back like your last two weeks and think back of all the great things and, um, and say what yourself, you know?
00:47:15
Speaker
Yeah. I think that's in important. You're talking about the restaurant as, as inviting people into family. And you mentioned, yeah, the, the nature of, of people using that word, except that you and I both know is, is that for a lot of us, when we say the word family,
00:47:34
Speaker
There's a lot of people that don't, that doesn't have a positive connotation to it. there's There's a whole lot of there. If I said, you know, hey, this is, you know, like family, people would say like, no, I don't even know what that means positively. And what you're doing is creating a picture of, know,
00:47:50
Speaker
of experience family in a way that it was always meant to. um and And you said of taking off the masks of just being yourself. And there's so many of us who we didn't get that as family. We didn't get to be ourselves.
00:48:06
Speaker
um and then And then I heard something within that that I think resonates with both of that, which is part of why we didn't get to be ourselves is because we were living up to the rationale of somebody else's version of what they think we should be. That that that the necessary for them was you need to be X, Y, or Z in order to be seen, in order to be validated. And you said something, you said, it may not be necessary to make your own ketchup or to make your own mayo. it's and And therefore, when we say it's not necessary, well, then it's unnecessary. But the reality is of what I hear you doing is is that for you,
00:48:46
Speaker
The unnecessary, the expression for the sake of expression is necessary for what you're doing, for the family that you're creating is is that it's the unnecessary, the the eccentricities, the idiosyncrasies of doing things for the sake of them, that that matters to you.
00:49:04
Speaker
Yeah. Which is why I i like to mention i am a maximum. Yes. war' is more yeah More is more. Yeah. Yeah. What's the question I haven't asked you yet that I would be negligent if we left this conversation, not having asked you.
00:49:21
Speaker
Wow. That's a good question. and Um, I didn't open this conversation today with any expectation. wasn't really sure what exactly we would delve into.
00:49:33
Speaker
um I feel like you've already surpassed whatever I, you know, could have expected. um i appreciate a conversation, you know, I really do.
00:49:46
Speaker
And i appreciate an intellectual one at that. um And I don't get to have this often. So, yeah, I mean, i i can't think of anything in particular. But um yeah, I mean, I feel like you asked some pretty insightful questions and it's it's more on um your questions were more focused on the identity of what I got going on and less about um the business part of it.
00:50:16
Speaker
And I appreciate that. I've done shows, you know, for the news networks and things like that. And they touch on who you are, but it's more about what do you do while you're here and why are you doing it? You know what i mean?
00:50:32
Speaker
Um, and so those questions get redundant because I'm like, I love to cook. I'm here because I ended up to hear it. You know, I don't really have answered. Like there is no rhyme or reason why I ended up in Reno per se.
00:50:46
Speaker
Um, like I do have, I guess my reasons for ended up here, but it's not anything that had, um, it's not like a conversation point for me basically. And, um,
00:50:58
Speaker
Yeah, like it's nice to to just talk about the the mind behind it and just kind of like what goes into it mentally, because I feel like we touched on that a bit.
00:51:10
Speaker
um Because this is a lot of this is mental. And I try to stress that to my family. um I tell my family, like, you know, check in on me if you know you haven't heard from me, because even if you see like the restaurants doing fantastic,
00:51:25
Speaker
um It takes a lot out of me. Like I'm giving a lot of my energy all the time. And um yeah, like i I kind of need that from from like my sister and my mom and my dad. Like I really worked hard to like have that relationship with with my own personal family.
00:51:43
Speaker
And um now as as adults, I feel like we're all super connected. like so So I do get that and I'm grateful for it. But yeah, it's i like to be able to, you know, just let those kinds of thoughts out.
00:52:00
Speaker
Thank you for sitting with us in this conversation for bringing your own story, your own questions and your own hard-won wisdom to what we're building together. If you want to keep this going, subscribe to Good Pain on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, where you can also leave us a review that helps others find their way to these conversations.
00:52:19
Speaker
And for weekly doses of conversations that go beyond quick fixes or surface level advice, subscribe to our kindling newsletter at goodpainco.com. Good Pain is recorded in Colorado on Arapahoe, Ute, and Cheyenne Ancestral Alliance.
00:52:35
Speaker
And let's remember, we are not alone in this. Our struggle is not our shame. Whatever we are carrying today, we don't have to carry it alone. We will see you next time.