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The Unconventional Gratitude Practice: Being Thankful for Your Failures
31 Plays2 months ago
This is the uncomfortable gratitude practice you need - being thankful for your failures, setbacks, and the hard things that shaped you.
Here's what we're exploring about reframing failure:
- Why looking back at setbacks is difficult but necessary: avoiding them means missing powerful lessons
- The self-forgiveness journey: facing every moment of self-betrayal through daily meditation (gut-wrenching but fruitful)
- Reframing the question: instead of "why did this happen to me?" ask "what did this teach me? who did I become?"
- Growth Inventory exercise: identify three past failures and find at least one skill/insight gained from each
- Healing holds deeper lessons: sometimes what you learn from the recovery process matters more than the experience itself
From doing self-forgiveness meditation daily during depression recovery to recognizing there are reasons you're where you are (many out of your control), this episode challenges you to expand your gratitude practice beyond the good stuff.
Nobody loves looking at failures. We'd rather focus on successes and achievements. But when we avoid examining setbacks, we miss out on lessons about resilience, redirection, and what we truly value.
Be thankful for the challenges that made you stronger, the losses that taught you what matters, the failures that redirected you toward your purpose. Appreciate how far you've come.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that gratitude can include the hard things that shaped who you are.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! What's one failure you're actually grateful for? DM me on Instagram @YourCoachMari - I want to hear about your growth!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Growing with Soul'
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello beautiful souls and welcome back to another installment of the Growing with Soul podcast. This is where I love to explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is the place where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:20
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and ready to embrace their own journey.
00:00:32
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. it's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
00:00:44
Speaker
Come grow with me.
Exploring Thankfulness in Tough Times
00:00:46
Speaker
This episode, I am taking a little spin on thankfulness and what thankfulness can mean in a difficult time or in maybe a unconventional way.
00:00:59
Speaker
This is definitely going to be a little uncomfortable at first, but if you stick with me, I promise you that when we start talking about past struggles that you've gone through, or maybe some struggles you've recently gone through, you're going to be able to look at them in a new light.
00:01:14
Speaker
I know that it can be so incredibly difficult to reframe these challenges that we faced. It can be difficult to find the lessons in there, especially when they are still so close.
00:01:25
Speaker
But we can definitely grow to appreciate them. It's going to be painful. it can feel like a lot of emotional turmoil or anguish or just stressful. But when we are able to view our actions separately from our emotions, we may see that we are now actually able to handle difficult situations in a much healthier manner than we used to.
00:01:55
Speaker
So let's take a look at taking a look back. We're looking at those past experiences, challenges, obstacles, growing pains, so to speak. And let's be real because nobody loves to look back at our failures, to look back at the difficult moments in life. That's not a fun thing to do.
Reflecting on Setbacks for Life Lessons
00:02:15
Speaker
I know that we would much rather look at our highlights, look at our successes, our achievements, and all the times that we just like nailed it And as important as that is as well to reflect on the successes of life,
00:02:29
Speaker
When we avoid looking at our setbacks, we miss out on some pretty powerful lessons that life has to offer. I know in the moment it's devastating, but looking back now with some distance, maybe a little bit of emotional maturity and healing as well, you can look at those situations and ask yourself, how did this experience change me?
00:02:57
Speaker
Maybe it redirected you towards something even better. Maybe it taught you resilience, which is, I know, sometimes a ah not as silver of a lining, but life can be difficult, so resilience is definitely going to be useful again in the future.
00:03:19
Speaker
Maybe these setbacks or challenges...
00:03:25
Speaker
taught you or showed you what you really value.
00:03:31
Speaker
Before you go about setting all this or looking at your past failures and lessons or potential lessons with intention, definitely take some time to mentally prepare because it is going to be difficult. It might be a little bit triggering and you just need to be ready for whatever emotional fallout you are going to potentially face while you're doing this.
00:03:55
Speaker
depending on what you're going to be examining, it can be incredibly difficult, incredibly um painful. And I don't want anybody having negative experiences here. Even though it's challenging and emotional, it's still meant to be a positive experience to look back and then reflect on our difficult times.
Marisol's Journey with Self-Forgiveness
00:04:14
Speaker
To give you a bit of an example of when I did this, um it was definitely during my healing process from depression. one of the things that I did was self-forgiveness meditation.
00:04:26
Speaker
and I did it every day for months. And it was one of the most gut-wrenchingly painful experiences of my life because I had to sit there and face myself and face every moment of self-betrayal.
00:04:47
Speaker
And it's rough. It's so rough to forgive yourself in those moments. More recently, I've had to experience this as well with feeling like I'm behind in life in a lot of ways.
00:04:59
Speaker
But, you know... There's really nothing you can about that one than just keep moving forward, you know? But you kind of have to recognize there are reasons why you are where you are.
00:05:11
Speaker
Many of them probably out of your control. Just keep trekking on. But just let you know that i've I've done this and I know it can be difficult, but I also know that it can be fruitful.
00:05:24
Speaker
So let's reframe this failure into a lesson. How exactly do we do that? um it's all about shifting our perspective. How do we move from seeing these setbacks as purely negative to recognizing them as growth opportunities? It takes so much practice, especially when, like I've talked about before, we might be a little bit prone to negative thinking.
00:05:48
Speaker
When we are prone to negative thinking, it's difficult to shift that mindset into, okay, wait, I can actually learn from this. Like this was a difficult situation. Good. Let me figure out what the lessons are.
00:05:59
Speaker
Most of us don't have like a like the immediate let me figure this lesson out. We kind of, we might stew a little bit, some of us. um If you are a more sensitive or emotional person, you might kind of be not stuck, but you might be processing and feeling the emotion a little bit longer maybe than like the average person, and that's perfectly fine.
00:06:21
Speaker
But eventually, you can get around to examining sort of outside of yourself. One thing I do recommend is meditation for practicing that skill, that skill of being able to like take a thought or an emotion that you're experiencing and sort of like view it outside of yourself, almost like a 360 kind of a thing and to examine it without it being you.
00:06:46
Speaker
Especially when you are a more sensitive and emotional person. Again, i would say that I kind of fall into that category. it can be so easy to be consumed by your emotions and becoming that emotion.
00:06:59
Speaker
Whereas meditation teaches you that you can have a thought or a feeling come up and you can observe it and let it go. And it doesn't reflect on who you are in any capacity. It's just something that came up.
00:07:14
Speaker
Let it go. Go back to focusing on your meditation. And that skill really helps with this exercise.
Exercises for Growth and Gratitude
00:07:21
Speaker
So essentially, when it comes to reframing, um instead of asking, like, why why did this happen to me? You can try asking, what did this teach me?
00:07:31
Speaker
Or who did I become because of this? One of the things that I think would be great as part of this exercise is doing like a little bit of a growth inventory.
00:07:42
Speaker
So if you have the time right now, go ahead and get it done right now. If not, definitely save this for later. But think of three significant setbacks, challenges, or failures in your past.
00:07:54
Speaker
They can be recent. They can be not so recent. Whatever feels like the most pertinent for you, whatever comes up for you. I think that's going to be the most pertinent. Hard-hitting, so to speak.
00:08:07
Speaker
For each one of these experiences, identify at least a one skill, one insight, or strength you gained from that experience or the healing from that experience. So I would say that there are a lot of experiences that I've had, a lot of things that I've been through where maybe the experience itself...
00:08:29
Speaker
What did I learn? How to avoid that. But like, what did I learn about myself? What did I learn about life through my healing process? Sometimes there is a deeper lesson in the healing process than just like, I know what that red flag is, run, you know?
00:08:45
Speaker
So think about the experience, but also think about the healing process if you've already gone through it. Also ask yourself, how are you now moving differently or interacting differently with others and with the world? Is it more conducive to your goals? Is it more authentic?
00:09:04
Speaker
So you can definitely take some time to journal that. You can take some time to just sit and think about it, meditate on it, um maybe even discuss it with a friend. But try that exercise out and see what comes up for you.
00:09:20
Speaker
So I know that a lot of us think about thankfulness, especially this time of year because of Thanksgiving. And this is an unconventional way of feeling gratitude and thankfulness for your life experiences. But I definitely want to encourage you to expand your gratitude practice.
00:09:36
Speaker
Yes, be thankful for the good things, but also try being thankful for the hard things as well. The challenges that made you stronger, the losses that taught you what really matters in your life, the failures that redirected you towards your true purpose or a greater purpose. You know, appreciate, definitely take the time to appreciate just how far you've come.
00:10:00
Speaker
If you can, this week, take some time to identify one past difficulty that you are grateful for. You can journal about it, journal about what that experience taught you Notice how this might shift. Take some time as you're thinking through all of these things, maybe journaling about it. Take some time to think about how this might begin shifting, how you are relating to current challenges in your life.
00:10:26
Speaker
And maybe in that way as well, you'll be able to be grateful for this newfound growth and these healthier behaviors that you are now doing.
Closing and Invitation to Engage
00:10:35
Speaker
If you've made it this far, I truly, truly appreciate you. Thank you for sticking around in this episode. If it resonated with you, don't forget to give it a like and subscribe and to leave a review for the podcast.
00:10:46
Speaker
It helps get the message out to people who need to hear it. If you are looking for extra support, some accountability, maybe someone to discuss these things with, I am currently accepting new clients and you can schedule your very own discovery call to the link in the show notes.
00:11:02
Speaker
Until next time, keep growing.