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Why Romance Novels Are Good for You: The Case for Reading Romance
18 Plays2 months ago
This is why reading romance novels isn't just fun - it's actually healing work, especially when you're traumatized and scared to date again.
Here's what we're exploring about romance novels and healing:
- What romance actually is: central love story with satisfying ending - not porn despite misogynistic claims
- Why the writing is phenomenal: making readers feel emotions deeply takes serious skill
- How romance raises standards: seeing what's possible in relationships makes you want better for yourself
- The safe space factor: experiencing love, dating, sex in controlled environments when real dating feels terrifying
- Teaching your body safety: feeling emotions through predictable tropes trains your nervous system that these feelings are safe
From discovering paranormal romance and romantasy to understanding that predictability isn't boring when you're healing from trauma, this episode defends the genre that helps us feel safe exploring romance again.
A lot of us have been burned in love. Dating feels daunting as fuck. But we still want connection, and romance novels provide safety to explore those feelings. You're feeling emotions, giggling, falling in love - and learning these feelings are safe. That's healing.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that raised standards are exactly what romance novels should give you.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! What's your favorite romance trope? Drop your fated mates recs in my DMs on Instagram @YourCoachMari!
Get the Book: 📖 "Audiophile" by Emerie Hart - Get the book here
🎧 Related Episode: Romance and Healing - This is the book lover's guide to understanding why solo healing has limits and connection is essential for deeper growth.
💬 LET'S CONNECT:
Send in questions: contact+podcast@marisolmoran.com
We might just have the same taste in books. Check out my Book List.
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🌱 LET’S GROW TOGETHER
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Transcript
Introduction to Growing with Sol
00:00:00
Speaker
um Hello beautiful souls and welcome back to another installment of the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:17
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and were ready to embrace their own journey.
00:00:29
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place.
Embracing Personal Growth
00:00:36
Speaker
This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
00:00:42
Speaker
Come grow with me.
Exploring Romance Genre
00:00:45
Speaker
In today's episode, we are going to be focusing on literature. We're going to be focusing on reading as a whole.
00:00:53
Speaker
And more specifically, we're going to be focusing on the genre of romance. Okay, so we're going to be talking about romance novels. If you have been listening to the podcast for a while, if you follow me on socials, I talk about romance novels. Okay, I definitely get into them.
00:01:13
Speaker
I've delved into this genre within the last year, and it's definitely something that I can't seem to get enough of anymore. It's it's it's become my favorite genre.
00:01:28
Speaker
Part of me is a little bit against that because i am a fantasy girly. I've loved fantasy my entire life, literally my entire life. Like as a kid, if there was a book about magical creatures or dragons or something, i ate it up.
00:01:42
Speaker
So it's the same now, but now it's like paranormal romance. Oh my God.
Healing Through Romance Novels
00:01:46
Speaker
Okay. Anyway, anyway, before before i get into all that, You know, I definitely want to talk about a why romance is good for you. Okay? Like, and that's one of the things that i i I've come to really realize recently, that reading this genre is actually a great thing for our healing journeys. And I want to get into why that is.
00:02:14
Speaker
I've kind of discussed a little bit. I've talked about it a little bit on the podcast. You can go back and listen to all of my book-related episodes where if you've, spoiler alert for all of them, pretty much. However, if you have read any of like the Massverse books, like ACOTAR, Throne Glass, I haven't gotten into Crescent City yet and on the podcast, but I have read it When I talk about those books on the podcast, I look at it from a personal development, healing, and mental health perspective.
00:02:48
Speaker
That is how I approach the characters. So we don't get into like the spicy time too much in those books, but we do talk about the growth and like the the relationships and the emotional and mental health of the characters.
00:03:05
Speaker
Same thing with recently I talked about Audiophile by Emery Hart. And that specifically, like the tagline for that novel was a healing romance. and So that not only goes into like the spicy things, but it also talks about how these two characters were so heavily traumatized and going through their own journeys and they found each other and were able to be a beautiful compliment to each other's healing journey as their romance grew.
00:03:39
Speaker
So if you've, if you've not read Audio File by Emery Hart, read it. It's, it's so much fun. If you have read it you want to hear my breakdown about it, I'll link it in the show notes. It's It's so good.
00:03:53
Speaker
So let's go ahead and dive in as I do with pretty much all of my
Components and Sub-genres of Romance
00:03:58
Speaker
episodes. We have to define our terms. So what exactly is romance as a literary genre?
00:04:06
Speaker
It's essentially a genre that centers love stories. A romance novel is comprised of two things. And they had so these two basic elements are a central love story.
00:04:22
Speaker
And an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending. Okay, like we're reading romance here. We want, we not not every single romance is going to have a happily ever after, but that's what we want when we're reading a romance, you know?
00:04:37
Speaker
For the most part, that's what I want. I'm not going read a romance novel and not get a happily ever after. Just let it end happily, okay? Let me have the fantasy. um But essentially, that is what a romance novel is. That is what the romance genre in its most basic form is comprised of.
00:04:59
Speaker
Within the genre of romance, there are so many sub-genres, okay? Many, many, many sub-genres. I mentioned one earlier when I talked about paranormal romance, girl I love me a paranormal romance, okay?
00:05:14
Speaker
um But on top of that, I also love romanticy, which has gained so much traction recently. Just to like define paranormal romance, because I've mentioned a couple of times now, paranormal romance is basically like vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and the like, and those being a central component or a part of the love story.
00:05:36
Speaker
Give me ah vampire boyfriend. Give me a werewolf boyfriend. Ooh, don't even get me started on Omegaverse. Do not get me started on Omegaverse. I've started reading some Omegaverse, girl. If you have not read anything Omegaverse, start.
00:05:51
Speaker
Start. Anyway, anyway, um so essentially that is paranormal romance. Romanticy, like I mentioned, has gained a lot of
Misconceptions and Depth of Romance Writing
00:05:59
Speaker
traction. It's sort of the commingling, if you will, of fantasy and romance. Those two separate genres essentially coming together to make one genre.
00:06:07
Speaker
And it's delicious as somebody who has always loved fantasy as a genre. And now I love romance. Romanticy is perfection, it feels like.
00:06:20
Speaker
So let's talk about some misconceptions when it comes to romance as a literary genre. The first one is that it's just porn. I've seen so much discourse in the last like year, year and a half about this, especially now that romanticy has gained so much traction.
00:06:34
Speaker
Articles coming out that it's just like fairy porn, articles coming out that it's just like dragon porn. And it's like, no. I just defined, I just gave you the definition of what romance as a literary genre is.
00:06:48
Speaker
And even though many of the romance novels that a lot of people read incorporate some spicy time, it's not always the main focus. If anything, the main focus tends to be the actual relationship and the love story that's happening.
00:07:05
Speaker
And granted, when two people love each other, they tend to have spicy time. So obviously that's going to be a part of the story. But if anything, especially with the more popular and mainstream romance novels that we tend to see, if anything, it's like a rated R movie where you have the movie and like the movie's plot line itself and you have like a sex scene.
00:07:36
Speaker
You know, you go watch a rated R movie, it's not porn, okay? it's yeah that's It's the same thing with a lot of these novels, especially the more mainstream ones. Duh.
00:07:48
Speaker
And again, another misconception, well, another misconception that I tend to see about romance as a genre is that the writing is shit. That is ridiculous. And honestly, based in misogyny, because who tends to write romance novels?
00:08:03
Speaker
Women. So naturally, in a misogynistic world, it's like, hmm, shitty little romance novels written by women for women. So it's probably not that good. Lies, complete lies, because you have phenomenal writing when it comes to romance.
00:08:18
Speaker
Because think about it.
00:08:21
Speaker
What does phenomenal writing do? It puts you into that world. You have to fall seamlessly into that world, okay? then from there,
00:08:32
Speaker
have connection and like empathy and maybe commiserate a little bit with the characters, the main characters. And you have to, a well-written book is essentially going to take you on that journey with the characters of said story.
00:08:49
Speaker
So you are feeling their emotions. You are feeling for them as they're going through difficult things. You're crying, screaming, throwing up if it's a really good book, okay? So when you're in a romance novel,
00:09:02
Speaker
you're going through that journey with them. It's an emotional journey. It's a scary journey. We've all dated before. as scary as shit when you're dating somebody. Like, so to go through that process, to feel all of those emotions as you're reading, like,
00:09:19
Speaker
You have to be phenomenal writer in order to write a romance and to take your readers on that journey with you. Come on now. Naturally, with every single literary genre, there is variation. Could there be a bad romance writer out there? Yes, of course.
00:09:34
Speaker
Could there be phenomenal romance writer out there? Yes, of course. Plenty. So the writing in romance as a genre is actually pretty fucking phenomenal. Let's get into the meat of things because this is, I know what we really want to talk about.
00:09:48
Speaker
Okay.
Fun and Impact of Reading Romance
00:09:49
Speaker
You're like, Marisol, how are you going to sit there and tell me that romance novels are actually good for me? Like maybe I've read some, maybe it's been fun.
00:09:59
Speaker
You love the spicy scenes, but how is it good for me? First and foremost, if there was one thing, one thing that I feel like I need to talk about more, one thing I need to scream from the mountains and the rooftops with a megaphone is that we need to just have more fun.
00:10:19
Speaker
Because first and foremost, when it comes to romance novels, it's just fun. It's a fun read. I'm also the type of reader that if I'm crying, screaming, throwing up from a book, it's a phenomenal book and I had fun.
00:10:33
Speaker
If I am devastated while reading a book and I'm crying, I'm like, this book tore out my heart and stomped on it on the curb. Like, that's a good book and I had fun.
00:10:43
Speaker
Crazy, call me crazy. But that's just kind of how always been. But that's not how every romance novel is. But anyway, I have fun when I'm reading, even when I'm going through all the emotions that a person can actually feel because of a book.
00:10:54
Speaker
So if you're like me, check out my book recommendations. um But also, again, reading is meant to be fun. Romance as a genre is meant to be fun.
00:11:08
Speaker
So the fact that you're just enjoying yourself while reading these romance novels is good for you. I really think that in today's society, we have truly lost the plot when it comes to just doing something just because you enjoy it There is so much, especially like especially for me like as a life coach, like there are so many things, especially in this field, that people talk about like doing things and they have to explain like all of the scientific reasons why it's good for you to do X, Y, and Z and like how it's going to benefit you and how are you going to be a better person.
00:11:41
Speaker
That has its place, obviously, or else I wouldn't be doing what I do. And also... Life is meant to be enjoyed. So if you enjoy reading romance novels, then yes, they're good for you because you deserve to have fun in life.
00:11:57
Speaker
The other thing that I've seen a lot of discourse on, especially in like TikTok comment sections, when it comes to talking about romance novels romanticity and all that, and like the the love interests and like the MMCs and all of that, a lot of comments from women being like, this should this just raised my standards.
00:12:15
Speaker
Like my standards were too low previously. And I do think that reading romance novels does raise your standards. And romance novels provide an opportunity to take a peek into other relationships.
00:12:34
Speaker
it They allow us to see the possibilities of how someone can be treated, how someone can be loved, how someone can be shown and receive affection.
00:12:49
Speaker
In a myriad of different ways. Granted, depending on type of romance novel you read, we might not we might not want certain things in real life. Dark romance. Okay, I see you.
00:13:00
Speaker
No judgment. No judgment here. But there are certain things in certain novels that maybe it's like, it's fun and spicy and hot in the book, but I don't want that in real life. I'm not talking about those things right now.
00:13:11
Speaker
I am talking about like the stuff that we see in romance novels that are just beautiful and maybe cute. And like you see so often in these romance novels that the female main character, for example, is being so just like loved and appreciated and respected and treated in such a way that you're just like, oh my God, like that's possible.
00:13:40
Speaker
It is. It is. It is possible. ah And to all the people who I've seen in comment sections being like, oh my God, like my standards are going to be too high. I'm never going to find somebody now. Like this just raised my standards. Good.
00:13:54
Speaker
Good. You over here where you're going to find anybody. Good. That's fine. Like if these books do truly raise your standards, good. Good.
00:14:07
Speaker
And that's really all I have to say to that. But again, to emphasize, they allow us to take a peek into relationships to see what is possible.
00:14:19
Speaker
And this is really important when maybe we haven't experienced it for ourselves, if we haven't experienced being treated well or being truly loved and appreciated and respected in relationships, or if we've never if we didn't get to witness that growing up either.
00:14:37
Speaker
We always, and by we, i mean us in in literary worlds, talk about how reading in general allows us to expand our minds and exp expand our worlds what we are able to see and experience and empathize with in general.
00:14:58
Speaker
We're able to learn so much more through reading And that I think is very much the same when it comes to romance novels and in this space in particular.
00:15:09
Speaker
ah We're able to see the possibilities of what can be in a healthy relationship and then say to ourselves, I want that. Whatever that is for you, like I want that.
00:15:23
Speaker
There, then you have a raised standard. Another really important thing, another reason why romance novels are good for you, especially on your healing journeys, is because they allow us to experience romance and love and dating and sex in a safe environment.
00:15:42
Speaker
Let's be real, especially if you're listening to this podcast. A lot of us are traumatized as fuck, okay? Let's just... It's true. It's true. No judgment here because I'm right there with you.
00:15:55
Speaker
So a lot of us have been burned in love, in dating, and a lot of us have experienced like various different types of like abuse and what have you.
00:16:07
Speaker
So when it comes to the thought of dating again, being in a relationship again, it can be so daunting And maybe you just don't want to do it. You just don't want to deal with it.
00:16:22
Speaker
you don't want to deal with men. you don't want to deal with yourself. You just don't want to, you ah like you just don't want to even think about it It's not something that you want.
00:16:33
Speaker
So understandably with that as well, you might have some trust issues. Girl, I get you. Of course you do. Yes. Then again, like I mentioned many a time on the podcast, we as people are meant to be in community.
00:16:53
Speaker
And we as people, for many of us, want romantic connection. i know there's a lot of discourse right now online talking about like boyfriends being embarrassing and how like, you know, you don't need a man and all that stuff. And I love all of that discourse. I think it's great.
00:17:13
Speaker
And at the same time, it's perfectly fine to still want to find romantic love again. Even if you're scared of shit. Even if you're traumatized as fuck. Even if you're on your healing journey and you're scared to date again. It's perfectly fine to still want romantic love. And through romance novels, you can find safety to begin begin exploring again.
00:17:40
Speaker
Through romance novels, we are able to experience love. We're able to experience dating. We're able to experience sex in a controlled environment. And for those of us who have trust issues, for those of us who are traumatized, for those of us who have experienced abuse of some kind, being able to experience these things and experience the emotions that go along with it in a controlled environment, in an environment that's going to be predictable, important.
00:18:11
Speaker
a beautiful thing. It is beautiful that we're able to experience it in that way. On top of that, like the tropes that so many of us love in romance novels, they also bring
Emotional Safety in Reading Romance
00:18:22
Speaker
predictability. Enemies to lovers. Cool. I know how that's going to go. If you were like me, Faded Mates.
00:18:27
Speaker
Oh my God. I love Faded Mates. Don't psychoanalyze me right now, but I love Faded Mates. And it brings a level of predictability. Like you tell me, oh, this book is Faded Mates. And then I meet the main characters and I'm like,
00:18:41
Speaker
I know they're going fall in love. You know, already know what's going to happen. It's fine. i'm I'm here for the story. I'm here for the bride. Okay. So it brings that predictability, which brings a bit of that control in the environment and brings that safety.
00:18:56
Speaker
So, You know, that like I mentioned before, any novel that is worth its salt is going to make you feel emotions and potentially feel the same emotions that the protagonist is experiencing.
00:19:08
Speaker
so you're going find yourself as you're reading feeling giddy, giggling over what's happening, giggling over all the cute things that are going on, that like the love interest is saying. You're going to find yourself falling in love while reading.
00:19:23
Speaker
You might even find yourself being a little turned on while reading. And all of this is essentially teaching your body that it can be safe while feeling all of these emotions again.
00:19:35
Speaker
And again, if we're out here traumatized as fuck, we don't feel safe feeling those things. So through reading these romance novels, through being in these controlled environments, through these tropes and the predictability of it all,
00:19:52
Speaker
And feeling these emotions again, our body is learning that we can feel these things and we're going to be okay. And that is absolutely beautiful. And another reason why you should keep reading your romance novels.
00:20:06
Speaker
And if you have any good recommendations, any really good fated mate stories, put them in the comments because I definitely want to know about them.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:20:14
Speaker
If you stuck around this long into the episode, i truly appreciate you and love you for being here. Thank you for tuning in today to the Grown With Soul podcast.
00:20:22
Speaker
If this resonated with you, if you liked it, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, leave a review because it helps and helps get this message across to other people who really need to hear it.
00:20:33
Speaker
I am also currently accepting clients. So if you would like some help on your healing journey, go ahead and schedule your very own discovery call with me through the link in the show notes. And until next time, keep growing.