Transcript
Speaker: ah back in the room here we go back in the room hello mr thompson all right well today we we're it's it's a it's a guest episode so we're very excited so we're gonna slap we're gonna we're gonna get straight on it put the foot on the gas um so let's go to a place where the distractions are landmarks and the detours are the main roads welcome to idhdville cue the intro Absolutely.
Speaker: Where we come, like, up around. Yes, it is. ADHD. All right.
Speaker: The weather is beautiful here. Hello, I'm Paul Thompson and I was and diagnosed with the combined ADH and the D again, calling towards a bunch of years ago. And I'm Martin West, and I was diagnosed with a combined poo-poo platter in 2013.
Speaker: And this we've got, our guest is Katie. So welcome, Katie. Hello. Thank you. Hello. Katie, yeah you did you describe yourself as late diagnosed ADHD mom, brain coach, and the the creator of ADHDable life.
Speaker: Able. Able. Try to make everything able. Yeah. Okay. Able. Okay. Yeah. got of Able. It's like manageable, capable. of bull And, uh, and after I got super excited about it and put it out on the internet, then I was like, Oh no, is it ableism?
Speaker: and don't think it's no, no, no, no. yeah know You're fine. okay five I mean, apart from though the the fact that I hashed it up, I think yeah something it makes perfect sense.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. And I was late diagnosed initially inattentive type and then went back and did it a second time. And they said, oh, no, no. Yeah, you were right. You are combined, too.
Speaker: I said, I know. I'm so busy up here. This is so busy. he so and right after the my youngest, we got my youngest diagnosed.
Speaker: And when that happens, you know, the doctors turn around and they go, it's one or both of you. Which one is it? yeah And I excitedly shot at my hand and thought, it's me. It's me.
Speaker: okay But it's it's also the other one. like to He's just slower to the take. Does he it yet? It usually is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it usually is.
Speaker: Yeah. I know. And then you start going, well, if I slot, then what about my own mom and dad? And you start looking at them and your grandparents and things like that. My 83-year-old father is has clearly has gone his entire life undiagnosed and ah happy as a clam, happy as a lark. Nice.
Speaker: Love it for him. Yes, me too.
Speaker: My father's 83 and yeah not having a conversation with him about it, shall we say. It's not worth it. But 83, it's hard.
Speaker: It's hard at 83 to have that conversation. yes It is. and and And here's another weird conversation. Which is, you know what, I've been meaning to do a, I have this post idea kind of to do on TikTok. And it's been on my little notepad for like, I don't know, six, six months, but I've never done it. and This is it. We're going to scope it out right now.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, it was all about having a shower, right? Oh, yes. because Because... And what my post was, and still might be, was like all the reasons why showers...
Speaker: are difficult and they suck or they're hard. Right. And it's a, it's a long list. Yeah. It turns out. Yeah. Oh, Martin, I am so glad you brought that up.
Speaker: Uh, let me, we can, we are going to dive into the world um showering And ah you one might think that's awkward to do on a podcast with two gentlemen that you don't know very well.
Speaker: You feel like you do because of the internet, obviously. But it's something we all do. And ah i I had a video, actually it was my very first video, go have some virality to it.
Speaker: and which made my stepdaughter think I was pretty cool. So I was like, yes. um And by the I posted it in the morning and I went about my day not thinking about anything. It was like three minutes long.
Speaker: which, you know, in TikTok world is like, you gave me a three hour Lord of the Rings on TikTok? almost biblical, isn't it? Three hours, ah three minutes. Yes. That's biblical. Yes.
Speaker: um And by the end of the night, she came home and I said, hey, um you know, Jordan, I've got, I've got a video that's kind of going viral. She's like, really? How many, how many views do you have?
Speaker: I said seven. Okay. How many? that screw Yes. And I said, well, 70. She was 70.
Speaker: And said, seventy thousand 70,000? Let me see that. And ah so she grabbed my phone and started looking at it. And about nine seconds in, she said, this is too long. I can't watch this. was like. Yeah, there you go. youre You've got a little bit of the, yeah. um But actually, it was all about how...
Speaker: I recognized after my late diagnosis that, you know how you look back in your life and you go, oh, there was a symptom. Oh, there was a symptom. Oh, there was a symptom.
Speaker: yeah For me, being in the bathroom and showering and like the world that women have skincare now, it's like you need a 12-step skincare routine. I'm like, I can barely get into the shower. Yeah.
Speaker: let alone do all of the things you're telling me I'm supposed to do. um So that video for me was so validating because so many people commented about, oh, yes, I did didn't think I i realized i wasn't the only one, which was so nice.
Speaker: i think that's one of the best things I think about late diagnosed ADHD and being on TikTok. is people coming back to you and saying, hey, um you're not alone. this I thought I was the only one. It's like, oh, I finally found my people.
Speaker: Right. Because I was interested in this particularly because when I first came on TikTok, which is about two years ago, and know i struggled to have showers. So I was like, I wonder if anyone else does.
Speaker: And that was it was there was nothing. Nothing, zero. I was like, oh, crap, I am the only one. i freak I am the only one. freak You just needed to wait for me to come along.
Speaker: Yes. If you Google, well, if you Google, I even say when I go into the search bar and TikTok that I'm Googling, but if you Google shower avoidance, that's what will come up.
Speaker: And it is fascinating to me. Yes. So there's two parts to this, which I think is cool. So one is the physicality of how do you actually step into your shower?
Speaker: So my question to you are now and interesting because there's different showers everywhere. So I need you to imagine the shower. That's like the inset shower, we're probably at a hotel and you have a shower.
Speaker: What do they call it? Curtain that you have to like pull back and forth. Right. Okay. So do you, do you, turn on the water and then get into the shower underneath the stream, underneath the faucet and the stream that way. Are you insane?
Speaker: This is what I'm saying. Or yeah are you like me you sneak around the back and get in the back of the shower and like slowly inch your way into the water.
Speaker: So i'm just curious, I think by a show of hands, which one are you? Okay. I'm already worried about Martin because Martin said that his shower sucks. I think he needs to get a plumber in.
Speaker: yeah if you're sad If your shower is sucking.
Speaker: yeah Sucking. yeah it's It's going the wrong way. Basically, you're sucking the moisture out of the room rather than putting it in. Oh, dear. That's a problem. i That's kind of like a plumbing issue.
Speaker: I edge into the shower and I test it with my hand first. yeah so If I have to, if I could see that the the shower head is is adjustable, I will point it away from myself as well.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. right um You are not alone. okay The number of people in the comments in this video that said, well, i I sneak in the back, but before I go to the back, I will take the shower head and turn it and point it at the wall so all the water is pointing at the wall. So the water is coming down the wall.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah yeah ah Basically, step one of having a shower is not getting wet. Yes. That's how you know that you're doing it right when you're still dry.
Speaker: Yes. yeah And i want I want total control. this If anybody's curious if they have control issues, they should they should step back and look at how they're getting into the shower because if you are going to those lengths, I think I must have control issues, which makes perfect sense because I have anxiety. And the more I can control things, the less my anxiety is up.
Speaker: Okay. Yes, most people like to sneak around back. And then, of course, there is the super secret number three, psychopath. The people that get into the shower and then turn in the water.
Speaker: No. That's madness. No. That's madness. I've usually. Madness. you leave madness if i if i have to do something but If I have to do something before the shower, like if I have to have a shave before a shower, usually have a shave before a shower or if i am um or something like that, or if I've trimmed my bed, I've already turned the shower on so it's got time to like get up to temperature.
Speaker: Yes, optimal temperature. I'm avoiding the shock, whether it's – avoiding any shock, you know, possibilities, whether it's a cold or a hot shock. And then I'm looking to adjust it.
Speaker: I want to get it to, like, a tepid state. So it's, like, between hot and cold, and then I make my adjustments. When you get in. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I that.
Speaker: I am going to – has anyone, like, I can't be the only one again. Okay. Has anyone who are i tv you so ah turned on the water and it's running and then you just on your, on your phone and then you go, ah fuck it. And you just turn off the shower and just walk out again. yeah just like Yes. Yes.
Speaker: You are not alone, Martin. You know what you said? You're like, not today. Not today. Satan shower. Satan shower. Yes. That's actually the other thing about showering and ADHD. And it actually might be a higher neurodivergent thing because the other thing is actual physical act of getting into the shower.
Speaker: Like I can't mentally get myself there. Right. And then I have to, i I turn on the shower and then I'm in a functional freeze and I am sitting on my bed. Just, I can hear the shower, but I'm scrolling.
Speaker: And then a half hour has gone by and I think, Oh, you know what? Maybe my mental state didn't need a shower today. I can't do it. There's too many sensory things going on. I have, it got the sound and it's going to touch me and and the water's going to be stingy.
Speaker: is it cold? Is it hot? Is it just right? And then you get in and you feel amazing when you're in. It's like, oh, so luxurious and wonderful.
Speaker: But then have to turn the shower off. white Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't you just keep turning the the hot up and then up and and then up and then up until you like, until you like boil in the bag. Crisp.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. I will say sometimes, um, And it's infrequent. I will i will mow the lawn at my house like once a summer. I don't usually do it because I have allergies, but i once a summer I like to contribute.
Speaker: But I'm so hot after I get done with that and I need a shower, so I will shower. But then i try to i will try to cop to mom cool my body down, so then I will turn it colder and colder and colder.
Speaker: Oh, nice. Okay. Yeah. But I can't do a cold plunge. So these people who can cold plunge, that's not me. No. I go into like, um i I get anxious if under, can't just like, like the whole, this whole thing about, who's that, that Icelandic guy or Swedish guy?
Speaker: and They're like telling you to like have a bath in ice cubes. Can't do it. Or if you go to a spa and they've got one of those cold plunge kind of pools. I did it once.
Speaker: Yes. And I know it's good. I can get one toe in there. Yeah. Yeah. I can't deal with the shock to my body. Yeah. Too much. No. I agree.
Speaker: all right. so it so so So you now have to turn the water off. That's where we've got so far in our yeah story. Yes. Oh, thank you. oh yeah Great job. Wow. Martin, you know what? is that what you're a professional at is taking? Yeah. peace He's professional. Trying to herd cats.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. Hang on, though. her a Hang on. There is ah one element that I think is quite on is quite common in the ADHD community. I can't stand the shower directly on my face.
Speaker: You know, some people could stand on the shower just like put the whole face under the shower like that. Can't do it. There are some windows there. Yes. Or the rain shower heads.
Speaker: Yeah. I can't just like look. I'm with you on that one. I am. i can stand. I can't stand.
Speaker: Right. That, um that I don't understand why people are so excited about rain shower heads that come straight down. Yeah. I'm like, you're just standing there and it's all just, all just coming down that way.
Speaker: It's very inconvenient. And then you can't get, correct, control. Yes. So, yeah. so Yes. So you're doing all the things in the shower and, and you can make the shower as like as glorious as as you want, right? You have your perfect temperature.
Speaker: Some people will put music in their shower. They'll do a, what's that called? Waterproof, waterproof. You know what I'm saying? Thank you. Yeah. ah One gal commented on this video that she found a waterproof, like, whiteboard because she has all of the great ideas in the shower. oh wow. Wow.
Speaker: I thought, oh, she's next level. She's expert level. I can appreciate that. And then you have... Right? I love that.
Speaker: So you do all your things and you probably do them in the routine that you are set for doing them in. And then it's time to get out of the shower. And that's a miserable time because you go from being warm and toasty and cozy and smelling all your wonderful products and everything to opening the door or opening the curtain and you're suddenly wet and cold. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: and that's that's but there two of the That's the number one and the number two worst sensations in the world. Yes. and And that feeling, again yeah right?
Speaker: That feeling will stop me from getting into the shower in the first place. It's like, oh, I can't, i don't want to do the wet and cold today. What if you gamify And then you know that there's a certain – oh, tell me more. Okay. Yes. What if game of five you it? What if you have like exotic luxury soaps on a rope and you kind of start getting into like gamifying the whole shower experience and gamifying even like the sensory kind of thing if it's really good soap?
Speaker: Yeah. And you could gamify it as well. I don't like it when the soap is like still in its cube form, you know. If you go into like one of those posh soap places and they've cut you a cube, that's really inconvenient when you're trying to lather up. With its sharp edges.
Speaker: Yeah. In the lathering business, that's really inconvenient. yeah Yeah. You are on to something, sir. and Because I think, I think, so I have three showers that I've built for myself.
Speaker: And they go along with like my type of day. So if I wake up, because you know when you wake up as an ADHD human, you never quite know what type of day you're getting yourself into.
Speaker: There's no consistency. We're all consistently inconsistent. So I might wake up, I might go to bed thinking, God, tomorrow's going to be a great day. I'm going to do all these things. Like, I think it's going to be a high energy day.
Speaker: And then I wake up and I go, oh no, it's a no energy day. So I have no low and high. I gave myself three options for days. And then I created these showers next to all these three.
Speaker: So if I have a high function or high energy day, and this is where I gamify it for myself, I call that my full fluff and buff shower. You're getting in there and you're doing the whole thing.
Speaker: Okay. The kit and caboodle, the full fluff and buff. Oh, the whole menu. Yes, yes. And um that might have been...
Speaker: one of my favorite things in that video too, because people were commenting like, oh, I call mine my, um my bits, my, wait, my pits and bits, my pits and bits showers.
Speaker: but It's great. So that is, I think, step one gamification of how do you shower when you are neurodivergent and all of the sensory things are overwhelming is you do have to,
Speaker: gamify it in a way that works for your brain. Like I'm going to name my shower the full fluff and buff. you You can gamify it as well. If you buy yourself, if you really go out there and you get a luxury bathrobe, not your kind of like stuff, you know, with microfibers and that nonsense, but really good, like Egyptian cotton, um,
Speaker: Heavy. Heavy. Or about a towel warmer? Yeah, yeah. The old classic towel warmer. yeah Which you can put your robe into, people. I want the audience to know. My sister does that.
Speaker: She got a towel warmer. She puts her towel in there, and when she takes her towel out, she puts her robe in Jesus. I know. how She doesn't mess around. That's okay.
Speaker: That's quite nice, actually. I know. So this is one of my favorite things to start with. When I meet people who are like recently late diagnosed, I'm like, hey, have you started paying attention to how you shower? And they kind of look at you like this.
Speaker: But you can really learn a lot from it because you all of your nuances are in there and you're accommodating yourself. Scrubs? What about scrubs?
Speaker: what What about scrubs? Have you ever bought? Have you ever tried? i've got I've got this thing. I've got this tube of cream that's got like crushed apricot um husks in it. Oh.
Speaker: Okay. Yes. Mm-hmm. And your skin feels...
Speaker: It's got bits in it. Bits. Gritty bits. Gritty bits. Gritty, gritty bits. Grits. Yes. See now, do you do a dry scrub with that?
Speaker: no of web screen it's a Yeah, see I can't do a dry scrub, but I could do, it does, it does. you do You kind of feel like, am I better than everyone else?
Speaker: time I'm exfoliating. You feel a bit elitist. think I'm better than everyone else. Exactly. Also, if you're skin than everyone else now, thank you. If you work in a and also there's a practical and healthy side to it, healthy health side to it.
Speaker: If you work in somewhere like London or New York and you've got smog to deal with, you get this stuff, it really helps clean out your pores, guys. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: All right. Okay, that's what's up with things. I've got all of London out of my skin.
Speaker: How do I get this London out? and do I get this London out? Yeah. Well, therere there is, i would say, whenever you're ready to go down the rabbit hole how to truly gamify your shower in a luxury way, you want to enter into um Black Lady Shower TikTok.
Speaker: Okay. They know how to shower. They know how to shower. They know how to prep. They know what products to use. They know what order they should be going in. So they're really expert level, top of the line.
Speaker: um And it is it is like I feel about how my fluff and buff shower. i can't do a fluff and buff shower if I wake up on a no energy day.
Speaker: i I know that I need at least 60 minutes for the full fluff and buff. So you kind of have to organize your day a little bit about it, which is why I only do the full fluff and buff maybe twice a week.
Speaker: It's a lot of effort. Yeah. Because the only way I'm going to get through the whole thing, if it's like a step-by-step process, so it's do this, do this, then do which means that there is only, i don't have a number of different showers. I just have the one shower.
Speaker: And it's just a program that I run in my head, like some sort of script, and you just do the one thing. Because I don't have hair, so don't need to do a hair wash in there.
Speaker: It's just the same the same thing. I don't have a buff part. It's just like standard issues. No, actually, you have more buffing than anywhere else. You have one shower.
Speaker: yes
Speaker: And the only way that I can gamify it is how quickly i can do it. How quickly I can get in and out and yeah have everything done. How quickly can I tick those boxes? Okay.
Speaker: What you're touching on there, Merton, is um how to motivate the ADHD brain. This is one of my favorite things in my ah content around brain coaching and stuff.
Speaker: um So there are five to... to motivate the ADHD brain. And they are, number one, urgency. So sense of a sense of urgency, time, putting a time constraint on something.
Speaker: um Let's see if I can remember all of them. Urgency, novelty, challenge, interest, and passion. I did it. remembered all five. Yeah.
Speaker: And so i do a little I do a little bit on TikTok um where I call i call my... ADHD-able cooking show, I call it Just Add Dopamine.
Speaker: And because cooking and making food when you have an ADHD brain can also be challenging because you get excited about something, but by the time you get everything, you might not want to make it or let alone eat it.
Speaker: So I say, well, you just add dopamine. So I always go back to these five. Urgency, interest, passion, challenge, novelty. I did it, but in a different order. Yeah.
Speaker: And that's the way that I add, just add dopamine, I add dopamine into the process of taking a shower or doing laundry or cooking a meal.
Speaker: So is this part of your ADHD-able life? Life, it is. Is that like as sort a sort of a thing? It is a thing. It's a thing for me for sure.
Speaker: And i I mean, I teach it to my kids and I make content about it. But it's silly things like, um well, urgency is like setting a timer. How fast can you do it?
Speaker: And then how fast did you do it last night or last time? Can you do it faster this time? So is, do i am I actually interested in making, let's say, a recipe? And I actually love cooking and baking.
Speaker: But if I'm scrolling and I'm not interested in the recipe, there's no way i'm going to make that. You can't even force me to make it, even if my kid is like, mother, will you please? No, I will not.
Speaker: I know. Doing the salmon dance, like a Broadway show production. Yeah, there's a lot of jazz hands at our house. Mother. um and passion is usually around just the fact that I do enjoy cooking.
Speaker: it's That one is tricky. Oops. That one's tricky because um if you are, like, I'm not passionate about doing laundry. Yeah. I really not.
Speaker: So I have to kind of fake that one.
Speaker: Right. But but i I do tend to be passionate about the fact that I can open my wardrobe and my shirts are there um and I've got socks in the drawer and I've got underwear.
Speaker: Like that part of it I can be passionate about. And in order to get there, have to wash the stuff. Correct. And therein lies the challenge. I can get passionate about lining. You're like, okay, I'm passionate about that.
Speaker: Really? A man. Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. Paul and his iron. He is not my – a lot of my friends, like Paul here, love an iron. Ironing board and a shirt. Nice crisp line. Especially a shirt. They're complicated.
Speaker: Oh, i need I need to hear more. I'm really – I just really – I find it really relaxing. I put up some good music, get the iron out, a good iron, gamify it.
Speaker: Good iron, good ironing board. and What and just you know just what like signifies a good iron? Well, you can go have c pro route. My partner, she's got a pro ah iron and it's a whole different ballgame.
Speaker: um It's like the type of metal is probably titanium or something like that. The steaming aspect of it is particularly efficient and, you know, um consistent.
Speaker: And it's really nicely weighted. And, yeah, you can like, you can gamify ironing, I find. and But i I just like the precision of I like the shirts especially. Katie, Katie. The complicated ones.
Speaker: and And it's also, it's like a dance. Yeah. when you have predium good When you're ironing a shirt, there's a dance element to it. Passion.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I am into this. This will become my new hyper focus. now i Now I have a specific question. So do you prefer ironing on an iron board or do you hang up your clothes and then prefer the steam experience where you're standing and steaming at the same time? Or is it a twofer?
Speaker: ah It's a horizontal thing. Classic. Yeah.
Speaker: Understood. Say no more. i just Understood. just list Yeah. So, yeah. I do it but no horizontally, says Paul. But washing, no.
Speaker: Putting things on the washing line, no. it's and i prefer if i If I had to choose between putting things on the washing line and take them off, I'd prefer put them on.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. taking them off. out I'm with you there. this yeah What's going I mean, what's going to... I mean, I hate putting the laundry outside, even though it kind of smells nice, but but I forget and I can't be bothered and it starts to rain then and then I'm in a whole world of pain.
Speaker: yeah um but But what's going to really shock you, Katie, is that I was taught how to iron at school when I was about 12. twelve There was an ironing class We had an ironing class.
Speaker: I think we did. For the boys and the girls, we all learned how to iron a shirt. It called home economics. Were you in a military private school? or No, oh state. Home ec.
Speaker: Okay, I had home ec too, but I don't think we had an ironing unit. Come on. All men should know how to iron a shirt. That is true. That is true. And I do have, I have two boys. My eldest is 17. He'll be 18. And he now has a couple of shirts, a few shirts that require ironing.
Speaker: And, you know, the only time he irons them is when, he's going to a homecoming dance or whatever. And then they get crumpled up on the floor and eventually I can't stand looking at them anymore. And so I hang them up into the shower. But I think ironing is very, that is a very good skill that everybody should know.
Speaker: And you're right. Boys don't know it as much. I don't even and even know if my stepdaughter knows it. I'm going to get back to you on that one. I'm going to do an inquiry tonight. okay I can tell you you'll never you' have meet an Italian man that knows how to iron. and Things in Italy are still very – Oh, their mom? That's a woman's job.
Speaker: Italy is so backward in on these things. It's unbelievable. Anyway, that's another discussion. ah There is something to be said for sending your clothes out for getting washed.
Speaker: And this is a total sidebar. Maybe it's not a total. It's just like a, it's an off ramp and we're going to come back on. But ah we traveled in your um Italy for two weeks and we had a couple of things that we wanted to get washed because we were packing a box to be shipped back home.
Speaker: um And that was glorious. so It was, I think, maybe 17 euro and everything was done within 24 hours and then they gave it back to us and it was folded beautifully. i thought, we need more of that in the US.
Speaker: We don't have nearly as much of that here. Yeah, it is something that I have done. So when my job got really, really busy, yeah because I do all the laundry, and when it got really busy and I just couldn't deal with it, I would ah would have someone pick me pick it up and and and it would come come cut it would come back and it was just like, this is so nice. That's luxury right there. That's nice. Luxury. Luxury. Yeah, we can do solid dance about it. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. So yes, those five things um that can motivate the ADHD brain. And here's the goal. Here's the real trick is getting one is usually pretty easy. You can usually figure out a way to add one of those things into a task that is monotonous and tedious and boring that you don't like.
Speaker: But if you can get all five, that's like that's expert level ADHD-able living in my opinion. Yeah. Is those five again? Let me just... Okay, let's see if I can do it one more time. Are you ready? These are the five things that you can do to motivate the ADHD brain, which I think equals dopamine.
Speaker: Urgency. Passion. Interest. Challenge. Novelty.
Speaker: Exactly. i kind of... I realized I didn't bring my little visuals that I like to have, but we have visuals all over our house of things like this, especially in my kid's bathroom. I'm like, remember these five things? And the other thing I have for them is I call it my wheel of modalities. Ooh.
Speaker: I know. right um I'll send you the image. Maybe you could put it right here or here. um yeah her gear it's its It's up there. Yeah, it's up somewhere. And um modalities in health care, of course, are just like things that you can do to make things better.
Speaker: And when my son got diagnosed, his neuropsych assessor rattled off these modalities like it was nobody's business. And I was like, I'm sir i'm going to need you to slow down. um and I'm processing.
Speaker: And I wrote them all down. And I thought, oh, you know what? You know what we need is a color-coded wheel to choose from. Yeah. So the other thing I do in my ADHD life is I have this wheel and the five sections of it are really the only five things that you have some control of or that you can use to help manage your symptoms and how they impact you on a daily basis.
Speaker: And they are, me see if I can go around the wheel. So you have medications or supplements, the big topic that everybody gets spicy about, um nutrition, what you put down your pie hole,
Speaker: exercise,
Speaker: accommodations, which is like showering, all the things that we just talked about to how you make showering happen possible. And then um meditation or mindfulness training, which there is some research that says you can actually improve the size of your prefrontal cortex, you're at the old noodle, you can strengthen it.
Speaker: So that wheel, that's another thing. When I'm like kind of sluggish and feel like my symptoms are living my life and I'm not getting to live my life, I go to my wheel. And I go, okay, well, did I take... Am I medicated and supplemented today?
Speaker: Check. I remembered to do that.
Speaker: And then I... Yep, there you go. And then I think about ah what nutrition. Okay, well, what did I eat today? Oh, I started my day with Froot Loops. Okay, I should probably find some protein. Practice of champions!
Speaker: Yes, yes!
Speaker: Mm hmm. Yeah. Exercise is a funny one. So my my one of my my right. i know that it's good for me. I know that it helps my brain.
Speaker: oh So I asked my um clinical person, i said, what's like the thing that I could do that takes the least amount of time for the most impact?
Speaker: Oh, yes. Right. And without, without waiting, it's a 30 second plank. Right. ah Nice. A plank. Yeah.
Speaker: Just 30 cents. Just plank it out for 30 seconds. Plank it out? Yes. And I do it usually in the morning or I do it at night before I go to bed. And I am winded after 30 seconds.
Speaker: Wow. Set a timer. yeah Okay. So that's my one that's one exercise tip. The other one is um I do croc walks. Wait. Is this walks in your crocs?
Speaker: Yes. It is. It is. Okay. culture around you have to have all of the fancy athletic equipment and all of the fancy athletic wearin all of the fancy shoes That will stop me from doing any exercise because it's another step I have to do in order to get into exercise.
Speaker: So there is research that says 10 minutes is all your brain needs to engage. And if you just move your body for 10 minutes, you will be um the most productive in your brain from a cognitive standpoint for 30 to 45 minutes after that.
Speaker: So croc walks are, I keep my crocs on. Now I have indoor crocs and outdoor crocs. That is my luxury gamification.
Speaker: ah And so I put my outdoor crocs on. okay And because I am a late diagnosed perimenopausal woman, I also put my weighted vest on.
Speaker: And then i will set a timer for five minutes. I will walk out my front door Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. Crocking. I'm walking. I feel like I'm getting more in because I've got the weighted vest on.
Speaker: And then when the timer goes off, I turn around and I come back. And that's it. Yes. So it's very uncomplicated and it feels, I feel good about it.
Speaker: So it's like reducing the transition thing, isn't it? I walk Eddie. So that's vaguely the same thing? Yeah, it is. Getting up from what you're doing.
Speaker: I don't know. Is that a thing? i think it's a thing. Transitions and change. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because i I go cycling. You like something. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, yes. Well, there's a couple of things. i ah The planking, I like the idea of the planking. I've started, it's about 10 days now that I've been just like lying on the ground twice a day for about 10 minutes and just like breathing.
Speaker: Being Just like a plank, but on the floor. And it just ah does um that's really, really good. Because the problem I get, because there's no transition. You put a mat on the floor, no transitions, no accessories, nothing. Don't need anything for it.
Speaker: um but yeah Because the other thing that I do, I go cycling. And that's like a lot of transition. it so it's It's the probably the worst for transition that I could possibly do.
Speaker: Yes. ah Tons of equipment. It's probably the worst he could. Well, even scuba diving, that's going to be, that's a lot of transition. You scuba too?
Speaker: No, I don't. don't know why you said that. Comparing it. It's the only thing that came to my head in terms of comparison. Yeah. I'm not saying it makes sense. paul what you just I think you just created or invented.
Speaker: no heavens no. When does it ever? But I think you just created the inverted plank. So you have yes you have the plank, the 30 second plank. The inverted plank is you you're still in plank position, just upside down.
Speaker: Yeah. ah you know And the whole goal, if you're just there for even 10 minutes breathing, that's meditation and mindfulness. and Yeah. yeah mind Mindful planking.
Speaker: Mindful planking. wait, you've done. You've invented the whole new freaking. It's going to take over New York. I'm going to put that in my section. Excuse me. Okay.
Speaker: I'm going to put in mindful planking up in my mindfulness meditation part of the wheel. going to start adding that in as one of my options. Yeah. Yes. TM.
Speaker: Okay. The other question is, yeah um so I have a ah husband who also cycles, TM. um When you go cycling, and we just finished watching the Tour de France, and we love watching the Netflix Tour de France, so you can see the team the year prior.
Speaker: um But are you doing the whole kit and caboodle? Like you've got, yourre you're putting your shoes locked into your pedals and everything. Yeah. The whole thing.
Speaker: The whole thing. You've got you've got the special your special shorts with the you know the, you know, the kind of sponge support. Um, you've got, you've got extra pockets, which is all already a bad thing.
Speaker: Extra pockets for loads of different things. You've got different types of accessories that you need to keep in case you get a puncture. You've got to prepare your bottle because you can't just take water. You take, it's got a supplement inside the water because otherwise, you know, you're,
Speaker: you're you're done for after 20 minutes. um Special glasses, prescription glasses, because I can't go cycling with these. um They're too big.
Speaker: ah Then you've got a helmet. um And then you've got your GPS so that you know where you're going. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot.
Speaker: But yeah, i love the Tour de France. I love that. Oh, and it' it is exciting. um when How long do you go for your rides? um i go o I go to, it depends. the The easiest one I do is about an hour.
Speaker: so it's about 20 kilometers. It's not much. It's not much. But I'm not, I don't go crazy about it. 20 kilometers, bike riding for an hour.
Speaker: But what's interesting to me is considering all the transition that you need to do to get into the taking the ride and then you're riding for an hour.
Speaker: and So you're like, i I can handle all the transition if I have no transition for at least an hour. Yeah. You know why what, what, what, what this kind really is, know, like,
Speaker: When you're curious, if you apply curiosity to whatever task you do, you realize, oh, there are a lot of trend transitions even you know in whatever you do. and you And you almost have to build your life.
Speaker: around those things. So for example, if we ah I was if had a bike and I was go out on my bike ride, the only way that I'd manage to actually mentally... Oh, you know what i I can do my own example. So I go swimming, right?
Speaker: But the only way that I can do it is if my bag is already packed with my stuff in it and the towel in it and it's ready to go, And the only way that I can do that is when I come back from swimming, all my stuff goes in the machine, washed, dried, back in the bag, like, instantly.
Speaker: um And everything is set up so my bag has all the stuff in it. And i you know like and everything has to be set out to make it as frictionless. Yes. Yeah, it's possible. And the only way that you you can you can do that is just by being curious about what are the obstacles to getting the thing done and what make it easier.
Speaker: And then just kind of like making it so that your life works that way. And it doesn't matter what normal people do. Yeah, normal. It's just about, right, it's just about how it works for you.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. Yes, that what you just described is... ADHD-able. Oh, hang on. well God damn it. Or Martin. Or Martin. Come in with a curveball.
Speaker: yeah Come on. You just, like, cut through all of that. You just buy some, like, gold leaf speedos, like swimming chunks. So you just cut through all of that. You just go for the bling thing. You just go for, like, the effect. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Just about the effect. Blink. And that's all the spontaneous, that's all the stimulation you need. Cycle round. All right. Okay. I'm going to go and order some gold leaf Speedos.
Speaker: Yes. Right. That is when I, okay, so but if I go back and I think about passion, interest, novelty, challenge, and urgency, Goldleaf Speedos, is that passion?
Speaker: Is it? not No, that's novelty. That's new and exciting. That's what that is. I'm all about novelty. That's the thing. i You just, when I went like,
Speaker: ah when you said, invis no you said frictionless. yes yeah And I went like this. um It is because... oh um So i am one of the things i am working on is ah a speech where I do the talky-talky.
Speaker: So hopefully people will hire me and pay me to do the talky-talky to their audiences. And literally just wrote um a month ago ah section where I talk about invisible friction.
Speaker: And that our brains and how they operate, you know, we have seven executive functions up here in the prefrontal cortex, which help us do the things of living.
Speaker: have two. And you have two? Yeah. Just saying.
Speaker: I've lost a few along the way. All right. This podcast is going to be longer than we thought. This a longer episode. harry all Yes. yeah And i think of i think of those seven on like a music a board, a soundboard. Is that what it's called, Martin? The soundboard where you have the little... I'm looking at you because you've got the piano in the back.
Speaker: Okay. So all brains, normal ones, all brains have these seven executive functions in their prefrontal cortex. Okay. All brains have a blend where, think of the seven on a music soundboard where you can push them up and down. and one of the seven is, for me, I use this example all the time, but one of the seven is your um nonverbal working memory.
Speaker: So your nonverbal working memory is your ability to hold a piece of information in your mind long enough to use it. So if you have ever walked into a room and then gone, why did I walk in here?
Speaker: That is me. And I, it happens to me all the time. So my, even in my neuropsych assessments, they're like, your working memory is poor. So I imaginary my soundboard, that working memory executive function for me, my toggle is very low down at the bottom.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. So that creates, because that's low for me, that creates a lot of invisible friction in my life. I get so frustrated that I keep forgetting things.
Speaker: And I have to back up to wherever I came from in order to remember why I walked into the room. And I i think what what people forget is that all brains have these seven. So all brains have this invisible friction.
Speaker: But the difference between those of us who are diagnosed so and those of us who aren't is just how often or how severe though that friction impacts our lives.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Okay, good. and the when you edit this, I want like... Oh, yeah. I was going to say, yeah, that was that's ah that's a nice edit there.
Speaker: Yes, thank you. Nice little chunk. Cut it.
Speaker: I have to fix my... um These are... Hang on. ah love please one One of the things that comes to mind that I ah want to say about that is that there are clearly tons of things that we can do to help ourselves.
Speaker: It's just the things that we choose not to do. is the problem I found, but especially with me. You know, I know that um if I drank less wine, yeah oh my ADHD would be easy to manage, but i like wine, you know. and's And this that I know there's like I do about 10% of what I could do to help myself.
Speaker: i think I think the universe said, listen, did you say you were going to stop drinking so much wine, Paul? I mean, this is the Italian government stepping in going, no, this is not good. This is this is big wine shutting Paul paul down.
Speaker: Coming down on top of him. Yep, exactly. Poor Paul. I mean, we knew him well. We loved we loved interacting with him when we could. Well, that's the end of the ADHD Real podcast. Yep.
Speaker: The lesson here, kids. Keep drinking wine. We almost made it to 100 episodes as as well. then And then Paul was taken out. ah huh He is saying something very smart, which is choosing to do the things that we know are good for us, but we just still don't do them.
Speaker: Right. Go on. I can't. um I need... And that, I think, is probably the, I think they call it pathological demand avoidance. But I can't, um somebody can't tell me, even though I know it's good for me, and you see it on the on a video or a news cycle or whatever, and they're saying, it's really good if you stop drinking wine, Paul.
Speaker: Oh, good, I'm still here. um I can't do it unless I get myself into it. And that was a huge part of building what I then became to describe as my ADHD-able life, is I had to build routines for myself doing the quote-unquote good things, so picking things from my wheel of modalities, but I had to do it on my own time, in my own way, with a sense of independence, um that
Speaker: because if somebody else told me to do it, I wouldn't do it. Right. Yeah. i find that the only way that even you can get there is if if you're yeah going going back to the new nutition nutrition thing. So if you're eating fairly okay and you're getting enough sleep...
Speaker: um and you're and you're taking those things that cause you anxiety out of your life as much as you can, then that gives you a good shot to actually make better choices, right, to actually overcome sometimes that you know that pathological demand avoidance, like that little voice that kind goes, no, no, no, no just just just do the thing.
Speaker: Right. Just eat that whole cube of cheese. You're fine. A cup of cheese. Oh, well, Paul's back, obviously. Oh, thank goodness.
Speaker: We just assumed that the Italian wine government had stormed into your home. Yeah, they did. And taken you out because you were about to say, yeah, you were about to say drink less wine.
Speaker: And yes they were not having any of it. Yeah, they didn't like it. Yeah. But thankfully, by the time I came back in, By the time I came back into the conversation, you were talking about cheese, which is perfect.
Speaker: Yeah, we moved on. Yeah. yeah why This is a wine and cheese podcast. Oh, there's nothing better. Yeah. Cheese platters. Let's talk about cheese platters for an hour.
Speaker: Oh, I could. I absolutely could. You could do an entire episode on, like, the best charcuterie board I ever put together. That would be, we could go meat by meat, cheese by cheese.
Speaker: Olive by olive. Olive by olive.
Speaker: Greek olives versus Italian olives. Let's have a fight. Yeah, on one charcuterie board, you could you could have World War, I don't know which one are we in. I know, right?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, three. I do want to hear, I'm curious, Paul, before you cut off, and maybe just don't talk about not drinking wine, okay? yeah but How do you do the things when you you know they're good for you, but then we don't do them?
Speaker: This is what Martin and I talked about when you were gone. I'm curious, how how do you do them? Do you do them? do Could you ask that again? I didn't, I'm not quite understood. Did I not ask a clear question? My ADHD?
Speaker: Okay. I don't know. you We know, we know in life there are things that are good for us and our brains, ADHD brains, to do. And yet we still don't do them.
Speaker: How do you get yourself to do the things that you know are good for you? Shaming. Shaming.
Speaker: Bicycle shaming. Sure. yeah Strategy. Yes. You know, that's true. i can shame i can't shame others, but I can shame myself. Yeah.
Speaker: I'm really bad at it. I am the most undisciplined person in the world.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. I just, ah it's really difficult for me to choose between a cheese platter and going out cycling. I understand.
Speaker: And the cheese platter wins every time. call we the With a cheese platter. Yes. and Okay. you be You could hold it out in front of you and then as though as you get faster, the the wind kind of whips the cheese into your face. I swap out. I get a new bike. I get one of those cargo bikes.
Speaker: I get one of those cargo bikes with the ra but massive rack on the front. They have them in Holland oh and Germany. They're like a massive rack. It's about a meter long at the front.
Speaker: And they make deliveries and stuff. Yes. I would love for you to say, hey hey, honey, I'm going to go for a ride. And then she says, which bike are you taking? And i would you would say, the cheese bike.
Speaker: Yeah. Take the cheese bike. Ah, the cheese. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I'm i'm just not a good example. It is. um I'm i'm the so indisciplined. It's shocking how disciplined i am.
Speaker: And, you know, there's so much, there is so much shame to around discipline because I heard that all growing up. It's like, well, if you were just disciplined, you could do blankety, blankety, blank.
Speaker: yeah If you were just, if you were just. And then I think as adults, it turns into, i should be able to do this. I should want to eat broccoli. I should want to exercise 45 minutes a day, but I don't want to.
Speaker: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And I don't want to end this podcast, but we're coming up to the hour. Yeah, we but we don't want to end on shoulds and shame. No. ah Could of, should of.
Speaker: So I'm just kind of like putting this out there into like kind of like camp how how how can we wrap this up? How can we wrap this? Well, i have I do have a very specific question for you about ADHD-ville.
Speaker: And the election. Oh, God. huh The shame. i was I was saddened that you did not win re-election. Yeah. And yes it might it might be the little conspiracy theorist in me, but do you think it was rigged?
Speaker: See, as as mayors or the ex-mayors of ADHD, we had an election. Oh, I don't know. It's been a while now. Earlier on in the year.
Speaker: and and we were And we lost the election. We're no longer mayors anymore. We just sit around the the King's Agitated Head pub. Yeah. um yeah Rather too much. has it was it what Was it rigged, Paul?
Speaker: Well, I think we didn't check on the voting machines, did we? We didn't we didn't check on them, on the voting machines. We didn't have a budget. we barely had the We barely had a budget to kind of, you know, have our tractor serviced.
Speaker: I think we spanked the entire mayor's budget on on the on the yeah it election theme tune.
Speaker: that we had when we were running our collection. Oh, yes, the banjo. We basically everything on yeah on the on the banjo player. Yeah, yeah. sense He was worth it, though. He was worth it. god be but be But you know you know what? I think we said this last week or whatever it was, you know, like...
Speaker: Yeah, I think there was there there is some shenanigans. Shenanigans. There is. There are. I could feel it a little bit, but i didn't you know I didn't want to be the instigator by any means. It might have been those people from Normaltown.
Speaker: Just won over. Normaltown. want to know my conspiracy theory about the people from Normaltown? Right. They're all just undiagnosed ADHDville residents.
Speaker: There must be a few but yeah undiagnosed, but also somewhat resentful and bitter that they have got and a word for their fucked upness.
Speaker: They're just lost. That's what it is. You're right. They're just lost. They need a word. um I, if possible, you know, I don't know what type of poll you have now as ex-mayors, but if in ADHDville, there's any type of like a street naming, you know, if there's like a, maybe a street or a path or or a roundabout that, that might be be able to be named like the ADHDable roundabout,
Speaker: That would be, I would put up um a little funding. i would I would take up a fund to do that get that. I am taking down notes on the on the back of a little envelope.
Speaker: ah Yeah. That is the one place that all ADHDers know they can take notes. It's the back of the envelope. Okay. Yeah. That's nice because i was going to say because every every guest comes on and they are part of ADHDville and you have the ah the ah ability to kind of like to have something in ADHDville. And you're choosing to have a a a roundabout. i think a roundabout feels right.
Speaker: A branded roundabout. Yes. Yeah. Right? Because, you know, what's you the middle with the roundabout circles are just like, oh, I think cheese.
Speaker: ah she Cheese wheel. It's a cheese wheel. I was going to go with garden. You know, I love flowers and things of that nature, but I think a cheese stop would be even better. That's a great idea. Just for Paul as he comes in. Yes.
Speaker: And you know what? It could be somebody's job. Yeah. Yeah. some I could create jobs in ADHDville. Okay. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. All right. Okay. I feel good about this. Awesome. like that. I love i love this. Yes. All right. Well, I think that just, well, thanks for coming onto the pod. Thank you so much. Into ADHDville.
Speaker: My pleasure. yeah I don't think I told you I do want to tell you. jazz hands when i started posting on podcast no tiktok when i started posting on tiktok uh which we're coming up on almost a year august 29th will be one year of actually posting on tiktok um adhdville was one of my very first creators that i found so you guys were in the very beginning of creating my community of adhd years online so um
Speaker: Oh, that's great. I will be delighted. Anytime you want to chat again, let me know. I'll be 10 to 15 minutes late. Well, perfect. Yeah. There's tons of material. And where can everyone find you?
Speaker: They can find me at neuro nuance, neuro as in brain and nuance as in the thing that screws up all our relationships and communications.
Speaker: dot dot Dot com. um Dot com. So on Tick Tock, I'm neuro nuance and dot com. I am neuro nuance life dot com. Right.
Speaker: we shall put it in the show notes lovely thank you put some links in there all right well thanks for coming um that just leaves me to say um what am i here here to say um i've looked up yeah ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all buffers of fine podcasts.
Speaker: Please subscribe to the podcast um and rate us most awesome. And feel free to correspond at well in the comments. But wait, there's more. If you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful faces, then sally forth to the YouTubes and the TikToks.
Speaker: And you can pick up a quill and email us at ADHDville at gmail.com. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself. And I beseech you fellow ADHDers, fare thee well with gladness of heart.
Speaker: Goodbye. Goodbye. I could find little outro button. There it is. There, says the mayor. Goodbye. That's that.
