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The Storied History of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Title
73 Plays2 years ago
This week the boys are back talking Garrett's thrilling experience of seeing the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Death Match live!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Predetermined: A Pro Wrestling Hangout'
00:00:38
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of predetermined a pro wrestling hangout. I'm your host Garrett calendar. And with me as always, Chris, make that Jimmy facts. We're here. It's been a bit. Um, and we've all, there's a lot that's happened since we last recorded and a lot that we've all seen, but, um, fuck that.
Attending AEW in Nashville: Viewer Experience
00:01:01
Speaker
Uh, Garrett, tell us about Leatherface. Guys, I was so worried. Okay. So for those listening, I assume, you know, AEW was in Nashville this week and I have not been to the last AEW show I went to was with you guys. It was forbidden door.
00:01:22
Speaker
over a year ago. Yeah, over a year ago. Yeah, they haven't been to Nashville since then. And I've had a baby since then. But the line the card leading into this.
00:01:33
Speaker
left something to be desired, but we were all intrigued by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre deathmatch starring Jeff Jared and Jeff Hardy. And it was fun to find out right before the show that it was going to be for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre title. Ooh, okay.
00:01:54
Speaker
Very prestigious. Yeah, that one goes back to Amarillo in the funks. It's got a very, very long lineage. Dory Funk wrestled a 95 minute match for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre title against Leatherface One. This is Leatherface like six, but, you know.
The Fictional Lineage of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Title
00:02:12
Speaker
Well, yeah, although we do know in the recent lineage, the recent lineage is that you, of course, the Texas Chainsaw title is only defended in the state of Tennessee.
00:02:24
Speaker
Yeah. Well, you know, that's rights and land issues and things. Yeah. Also just Jared promotions. I mean, look, I mean, they have a long history of Tennessee taking over Texas.
Charity and Pro Wrestling: Who Benefits?
00:02:39
Speaker
Things getting awkward, right? Texas titles being defended at the Mid-South Coliseum. It's a normal thing for Jeff Jarrett to be bringing Tennessee to Texas. That's how he got Satnam Singh to this country. He promised him if he stood by him, he knows that Global Pro didn't work out the way he wanted, but if he followed him more, he would get him a shot at that Texas chainsaw title or whatever it is.
00:03:09
Speaker
It was a beautiful title,
The Worst Match Ever? Garrett's Live Experience
00:03:11
Speaker
too. I mean, they've definitely redone it since it first existed in the 1970s. Beautiful picture of Leatherface, very shiny. They'd polish that up real good for this show. But a couple hours before the show, I did get an email.
00:03:27
Speaker
that fight for the fall and the proceeds were going to Hawaii, which is a great cause, you know, right now for the money to go to that, but it also felt like what was it going to before? No, I think every year they've said what it goes to. I think it has got, like the first one was very, it was a wounded warrior and they did a whole thing. I think that actually every year for Fight for the Fall and they have done like a segment about what it's going to.
00:03:58
Speaker
Yeah, but like this one was announced his fight for the fallen like a week ago. And then like today, they're like, ah, something. It's also like what proceeds exactly, right?
Leatherface and the Chainsaw: Adding to the Absurdity
00:04:12
Speaker
Because the first fight for the fallen was a pay-per-view, right? Because AEW hadn't gotten to each other. No, it was free. It was free. Oh, okay. But still there was theoretical revenue that wasn't coming from an established TV deal. Sure. Right. So is it like, do,
00:04:28
Speaker
Like are the rest of the- I have the answer to this question by the way. Okay, I'm actually curious. During, I think it was after Rampage or after Dynamite had ended and TK comes out in his suit to hoot and holler at you. He let us know that all the proceeds from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre death match went to Hawaii. So the like sponsor deal?
00:04:57
Speaker
He said they took the sponsor deal to earn money to give to Hawaii. His father is the eighth richest man on earth. And he needed to take Texas chainsaw money to give to Hawaii.
Current AEW Storylines and Promos
00:05:12
Speaker
Also, they announced this last week in Hawaii. How long has Hawaii been on fire?
00:05:20
Speaker
It's like at least a week. Okay. Still, it doesn't really seem like you would have, you would have figured some of this stuff out before. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like I got the email about the Hawaii thing like two hours before I went to the show. So I don't know. Um,
00:05:39
Speaker
Do we wanna, it's time to break down the match, guys. I was legitimately worried, because this card was not good on paper, and I was worried this match was going to be like a WWE Bray Wyatt pre-test. Yes, for sure. They did it live, guys, somewhere.
00:05:59
Speaker
They did it live, and I'll tell you where it was underneath me. It was underneath where I was sitting. Were you able to walk over to the underneath section? Like, could you see it or were you just kind of screwed? We saw where they went in, that it was underneath us. You could hear that it's happening. It was the most silent I have ever seen that arena.
00:06:23
Speaker
Chris, you watched it with commentary, so you might actually have way more answers. This is easily the worst match I've ever watched live, because most of it was shot in either complete darkness or with a little red light, and in the arena, no commentary. See, we're just silently trying to figure out what
AEW Wembley Match Announcements
00:06:43
Speaker
is in these dark corners. Was there on, was it on the screens?
00:06:48
Speaker
It was on the screens, but it was so dark on the screens that you couldn't tell what the fuck was happening. Yeah. Like the first section was just a very limp brawl. There was some like blood that was thrown on Jeff and Karen for some reason. It was a bucket of blood. Yeah. Yeah. Reasons that escape me. And then it seemed like they went to like the back during the commercial break.
00:07:13
Speaker
So I love that, by the way, they go Hawaii, this is for you and just start dumping buckets of blood. That's the that's their way of showing compassion. Mm hmm. Love, love, love. They basically fought under one entire length of the bleachers of like the hundred level. So they were fighting. So no one to the best of your knowledge, no one who paid for a seat for tonight's show could actually see what's happening. Or was there at least a small population that maybe got a gander?
00:07:43
Speaker
No, that shit no one saw. So the parking lot brawl, which had about 20 people around it, had more spectators. I think the first part, if you were on the floor, some people on the floor may have been able to see what was going on.
00:07:58
Speaker
There was a curtain so they like went through a curtain. Great. And then once they were back there like I mean that could have been pre taped but like it was so shitty there's no way it wasn't like well also Jeff Hardy just like he comes out he comes out normal and then he just kind of gets into the crowd and just kind of wanders over like you're like
00:08:19
Speaker
Why? What's in this curtain? I'm just going to see your guys. It was like a reverse mocks. If you told me that there was one wrestler on the roster who genetically was part cat, I'd probably say Jeff Hardy. They love curtains. So then the last section of the match does happen in the ring, but that mostly just seemed like the worst group brawl in AEW history.
00:08:51
Speaker
I don't know, did people get excited to see stuff? People got excited when a table got brought out. I think the crowd was like, okay, we're gonna see a table. Nothing about this fax was a death match. There was nothing sharp involved. Yeah, I at no point thought this was gonna be a real death match.
Speculation on Wembley Stadium Stampede
00:09:12
Speaker
Yeah, but this was a WWF hardcore match from 2001, fax. Yeah, Jeff Hardy specialty.
00:09:18
Speaker
Yeah, right there. Actually, these guys probably competed in one against each other in 1999.
00:09:25
Speaker
It just became like, who from the Ring of Honor locker room is backstage? Go fight both of these guys in this darkness. They're like, what's Jay Lethal doing? Get him over there. It was bizarre. And then while they're in the ring, it's like a big part of the match, Karen Jarrett is just around. And partway through, you just hear the chainsaw going and then actual leather face
00:09:55
Speaker
comes down the ramp with a chainsaw waving it around chases karen around the ring once did he go around the ring or was he did he never make it past the ramp
00:10:07
Speaker
Honestly, Garrett, at this point, I was pretty checked out. I mean, as the modern, as Mox has become the modern Terry Funk, you'd think that they could have Mox come out as Chainsaw Charlie instead. That way that could at least pop a good crowd and probably a great performance. Or just get Terry Funk.
00:10:27
Speaker
Well, I don't know if he's able to. It was like, it truly was like, I'm happy that if any of us had to see it, it was me. And where, where in the show was this? Was it the main event? Was it the opener? Just kind of in the middle. Like start of the second hour, basically. Okay. Kind of a weird slot, but sure. The whole pacing this week was wildly off. Either something went off the rails somewhere.
00:10:52
Speaker
potentially this match or they just decided like we're trying something different because the main event's only going to be eight minutes long.
00:11:02
Speaker
Well, I have a theory. So I've noticed that AEW, when they have no pay-per-view matches announced, is just banger show after banger show after banger show. And then it's like clockwork the last couple of weeks. As soon as they started announcing pay-per-view matches for all in and all out, the show has just been absolute drivel. Well, yeah, they did hastily set up the rest of the all-out cards and all-in cards tonight. Okay.
00:11:31
Speaker
Feel free, spoil, spoil away for
Highlights from Recent AEW Shows
00:11:33
Speaker
me. Folks, I obviously have not if it hasn't been clear, I've not was not able to watch the show live tonight. So what all did they announce? They announced Hangman. OK, there's actually there were a couple cool things that happened on this show to just cover a couple of the cool things. Jericho and Callis had a pretty funny segment together where Callis asked Jericho to join him.
00:12:00
Speaker
He joined, Callis was very surprised that he joined and he had a veiled picture in the ring, which they never unveiled. And Jericho was like, wait, what's under there? He's like, oh, don't look at that. We'll send that to your house tomorrow. When they unveil it, it's a photo of Don Callis holding Chris Jericho's head because he wasn't expecting him to join him. So they got in a fight and then Will Ospreay came out and beat up Chris Jericho.
00:12:29
Speaker
So will Osprey's hazing is that he needs to be the next guy to carry Jericho in a in a stadium. Oh, God. Yeah, I'm just thinking like I'm at one point I'm glad that we have official confirmation that will Osprey's wrestling at the biggest show ever in the history of the UK. But Jericho, we're really going to test whether Osprey's as good as as Omega.
00:12:59
Speaker
We're really going to test it. I mean, Jericho's band is huge in Europe. So, you know, there could be that one that they're doing for the German tourists. And then they announced we didn't get Kenny live. Kenny was in Jacksonville being interviewed by J.R. I was going to text you that when I saw that on collision where I was going to text you, but I didn't want to rub it in of like, oh, they've announced ahead of time that Kenny's doing a pretape.
00:13:29
Speaker
at the show you're going to. The funniest part of the pre-tape to me was that he gets jumped by Bullet Club, but Bullet Club made it to Nashville. So he got jumped earlier in the day in Jacksonville, Florida, according to the footage. But B.C.
Evaluating AEW Matches and Characters
00:13:50
Speaker
Gold was. That's like a one hour flight, right? I mean, and you know, you know, the switchblade can afford a private plane.
00:13:57
Speaker
Well, the fun fact here is that Hangman is in Jacksonville enough to accompany Omega to the hospital, but not in Jacksonville enough to save him from the beatdown. Well, that's standard wrestling, right? I mean, I know. There was a funny part though, where Hangman cuts a promo outside of the quote unquote hospital, which is clearly just a backstage area. But that Hangman's cutting the promo drinking a beer.
00:14:25
Speaker
And there's a guy who comes out and he's just like, sir, this is a hospital, you can't drink a beer here. And Hangman's like, whoops, and just chugs the beer. It's like, remember when we used to, Hangman used to have this hilarious, like, sort of sad alcoholic character? It's back. And- But now it's a joke. But now it's a joke. Cause he's a dad. He's a dad, yeah. So the match at Wembley is Kenny Hangman in a bushy.
00:14:55
Speaker
against Takeshita and the Bang Bang Gang. Okay, okay. So it's New Japan, it's New Japan 2018, plus Kenosuke Takeshita. Yeah, don't hate that. No, not against it. Well, that's gonna be fun. Yeah. I mean, Juice is the most overman in wrestling right now. So as long as I'm getting my Juicy Boy, and it sounds like the guns will be on the sideline,
00:15:25
Speaker
Uh, right. Great. Well, and then, um, let's see, biggest pop of the night was the return of Eddie Kingston, which we should point out. I can't remember the last time where we were with Eddie and the G1. The last time we actually talked about this, but Eddie did a lot of great stuff, but I really just want to highlight, I think it's the one of the last evenings he's in a tag match.
00:15:53
Speaker
And he just chopped the fucking shit out of Chase Owens. And it was honestly my favorite moment of the G1. The whole G1. You were living through Eddie in that moment. He was all of us. Yes. Yes. Just 30 seconds of Eddie just chopping the shit out of Chase Owens. We just need an animated gif of that that I can use instead of the rage face emoji. Every time I'm mad at someone, I'm going to send them that animated gif.
00:16:21
Speaker
Would you say that Chase Owens is the Jeremy Renner of Pro Wrestling? Like just a talentless white man who failed upward? I think that's a little mean to Jeremy Renner. Not too kind to Jeremy Renner. I mean Hawkeye was fine.
ROH Matches and Fan Engagement
00:16:40
Speaker
Chase Owens is the Jerry Ferrara of wrestling. Yeah, that sounds right.
00:16:50
Speaker
And yeah, David Finley is the Adrian Grenier. And the current like bullet club run in New Japan is like, they're like, um, okay, the show's over. Can we get maybe that turtle guy to do a spinoff? And they're like, well, no one's going to watch it. And they're like, yeah, we got nothing else. Just put, put it on the air. That's fine. Yeah. It's well, it's season nine of entourage.
00:17:20
Speaker
Yeah. We'll make sure there's some boobs here and there. People will watch. But with Eddie Kingston's return, or wait, we weren't done with, were we done with Chase Owens?
00:17:34
Speaker
We could go an hour on Chase. Yeah, let's keep going on Chase. Fuck that guy. No, but Eddie comes back to save, who, oh, so it was, because it was during the Orange Cassidy Wheeler Yuta title match. Yeah, he saves Orange and the Lucha Brothers and best friends.
00:17:54
Speaker
He saves all of them. He saves all of them. Eddie's very powerful. He saved everybody. Yeah. Sure. He's like Superman. So then it became, it's going to be Lucha Bros, Best Friends, Eddie Kingston versus three of BCC and three other guys that they haven't announced yet that they said whoever they can find in a stadium stampede match at Wembley.
00:18:22
Speaker
So so they're doing a stadium stampede with a live crowd. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So because that's what so it's just so interesting how prisient facts here is is that I don't know if you guys remembered when I always said every time there was a big announcement coming, my prediction was stadium show. And I always said, and they're going to do a live stadium stampede. The one part I got wrong is I thought that was actually going to be the name of I thought it was going to be the US. I thought it was probably to be Jacksonville. I thought the name of the show was just going to be stadium stampede.
00:18:52
Speaker
Um, but I'm, I'm hitting a lot of boxes. Who do we, do you think it could be some, like, some, some British tough boys joining BCC? I mean, that's what the B you know, is for, right? Yeah. I'm trying to think of who has, who's available. Yeah. Who's available. What about,
Indie Wrestling Highlights and Nostalgia
00:19:12
Speaker
I'm trying to think of like, who's not on the pay-per-view yet. I mean, house of black isn't on there yet. And that's a group of three.
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah, but they attacked the acclaimed in a non match for no clear reason. Yeah, they've been kind of teasing towards that. Maybe that'll be at all. I do need to mention this, though, our seats. We were in basically the walking taco section of the building where everybody in their seat had a had a walking taco and the acclaim come out and do a rap and they said something about getting locked up like Trump.
00:19:50
Speaker
And the guy to our right, who very visibly looked like a Trump supporter, was booing when they said that. But when they said, everybody loves the acclaimed, I looked up and he was holding his walking taco tightly to his chest so he wouldn't drop it so that he could throw up his A. So he surprised us all and was booing Trump, actually. Hmm. There you go. He loves Trump, but he loves to scissor more.
00:20:22
Speaker
We love walking Taco the most because he was not going to let that fall during his excitement. I don't know. But yeah, who? I mean, what do we maybe like a Suzuki? Are we bringing in one of those like some Japan guys or who?
00:20:40
Speaker
Zach Sabre and his boys maybe would be an option. I honestly think it might just be one of those things. And I think it would still fit the vibe, particularly because they're good. It's just like some UK guys that maybe casual wrestling fans don't know, but people in the UK will.
00:20:57
Speaker
Like that is kind of one of the tropes of these shows in other countries, right? Is that you kind of showcase some local talent in one of the big matches. So I wouldn't be like crazy surprised if it was like Zack Sabre and then two guys that have really never been on major TV. Or about like Trent Seven and though like Mustache Mountain, are they still around? I was gonna say Mustache Mountain did that one AEW episode a while back. I forgot about that, yeah.
00:21:26
Speaker
Another pitch could be Desperado. You know, let's get some Desperado. Never gonna be mad about that. Despy, Suzuki, and June Kasai. I think that they're gonna follow the heavy intergender in the tag division from GCW, and it's gonna be Desperado and the Despets, which are just gonna be two really busty
00:21:56
Speaker
non-wrestlers, just dancers, they're not gonna engage in any of the violence, they're just gonna be there to wipe the blood off Mox and Despy. And then, of course, the match just becomes Despy and Mox just beating the shit out of each other, forgetting that they're on the same team. I need these Adam Cole MJF spots, but with Mox and Despy eating it out back steakhouse covered in blood. I would love that so much.
Jon Moxley's Wrestling Ventures
00:22:22
Speaker
Mox saying being like, oh man, I love this crispy onion stuff, don't you? And then Despy just says something in Japanese that Mox doesn't understand. And then Mox just kind of continues on. Like he thinks it's like a Han Solo and Chewbacca thing, not knowing that like Japanese is a real language. Oh yeah, little buddy.
00:22:49
Speaker
He's like he's been to Japan like a dozen times and he still has no idea that they're speaking a real human language. I don't know. I didn't I didn't go to college. I don't know what this. Also, by the way, just a fact, Sting kidnapped Prince Nana and just cackled. And all I could think of was Garrett. Like was was was Sting's laugh a response to Garrett's laugh about Sting?
00:23:18
Speaker
That, yeah, he really did feel like he was doing a bit for me. Oh my God, speaking of Sting, during the women's match, a piece of the ceiling fell off of Bridgestone Arena into the crowd, and everybody's like, what the fuck just happened? Because it was a huge piece. Did anyone get hurt?
00:23:42
Speaker
No, so it turned out it was like a soft thing that's used to cover like the Preds enter through like a predator head or like the saber-tooth head. And it was a piece of the thing that covers that. But when it fell, everybody's like, what the fuck? And I was like, well, obviously stings up there fucking around. No, no, it was Mox thought it was a real predator and he was trying to blade it.
00:24:10
Speaker
Hey, Tony, I think I'm done wrestling humans. I want to wrestle a giant werecat. The the actual best match of the evening was before the sting bit with Nick Wayne and. And Darby versus Brian Cage's boys. Is the guys he has the tag, the six pan tags with? Yeah, those I like those guys, actually, I think I think they're going places.
00:24:41
Speaker
Them like just being like big dudes fighting Nick Wayne and Darby was a lot of fun. There was a really, I really liked a spot in that. Darby got somebody in like the, like where you know where you'd go for like the crucifix pin, but Nick Wayne super kicked him. So then it went from the super kick end of the crucifix pin. That looked pretty cool.
00:25:01
Speaker
And it was just, uh, there was like a part where Nick Wayne went to give somebody a cutter from the top rope and the guy just bulldozed him midair and just absolutely sent him. Soren, uh, honestly, like there weren't really like, other than that, there was not really like a great match on, on Ram on dynamite this week. But it did
ROH Events and WrestleMania Weekend Plans
00:25:22
Speaker
sound like you got some bangers on rampage though, right?
00:25:25
Speaker
It opened with a hot one on Rampage. It opened with Ray Phoenix versus Commander. Why wouldn't they advertise that during the show for people at home? Great question. You'd think part of the audience of people that would watch Rampage would be interested to know you're having two of the best luchadores in the world going against each other.
00:25:50
Speaker
Even if they ran out of time to announce it, announce it, they could have flashed a graphic in the lower third or something. Yeah, very bizarre. They gave us zero indication all night of what was gonna be on that show. And even when Tony came out to do his post-show holler, he didn't say, stick around, these are the matches. Which led me to believe this is going to suck and he doesn't wanna tell us what it is so we don't leave.
00:26:19
Speaker
Well, I think it's Tony just phoning it in because the proceeds are going to Hawaii. You know, if they were lining his pockets, he'd try harder. The Commander Ray match, the only match of the night that got a this is awesome chant, only got a this is awesome fight forever. And like, I mean, just crazy spots like there was a I'd never seen a spinning muscle buster before.
00:26:44
Speaker
where like he spun around in circles with him before he did the sit out. It looked incredibly painful, just huge spot fest, a lot of cool stuff in that. And then at the end, Ray, so what's a Ray's little guy? Alex?
00:27:05
Speaker
He was both of their little, he was both their little guy. Oh, well, yeah, I think he's, he little guy is kind of for a lot of the, um, of, of luchadors, make luchador talent. Yeah. So he came out in a one jacket for Ray and then he ran up the ramp and you could see him tearing the jacket off and he came out in a different jacket for commander. So he was little guy in both of them. And, um, at the end of it, he gave Ray, cause I mean, they, the match went probably more than 20 minutes.
00:27:34
Speaker
Like they got time and it was, it was great. It was really great. And he gave Ray a T-shirt. He put it over his face because he ended up going over commander and under the T-shirt, he took his mask off and handed it down to the ground to commander. And then like some people just kind of covered his head as he walked away. And it was just like, he seemed really emotional holding Ray's mask. So I assume on commentary, they tell you more story there, but
00:28:05
Speaker
Yeah, I wonder if maybe that's the start of although they don't really start things that have a next step on rampage, right? I never know. I by the way, guys, if I have to if you see me leave my my desk and it's I'll be right back. I just will need to go to the bathroom, do a quick spinning muscle buster and then into my toilet and then I'll be right back. That's how that's how Tyson Kidd died, you know.
00:28:37
Speaker
Wait, is Tyson kid dead? Is that a thing? No, no, no. Samoa Joe ruined his career with the muscle buster and they banned that move from WWE. OK, I was trying to think of who who got hurt real bad with that so I could make the joke. I literally could not remember him. Oh, he's no Teddy Hart. Yeah, he hasn't. He hasn't killed any ladies that we know, allegedly.
00:29:05
Speaker
Um, but yeah, other than that, we did get to see your daughter's favorites. So Ozzy open wrestle Ethan page. And one of the private party guys is the other private party
WrestleMania Weekend Attendance Plans
00:29:15
Speaker
hurt. I guess one, the whole thing with Matt Hardy and those guys, and he like beat Ethan page. Now Ethan page is just like, I guess I'll be nice to you, Matt Hardy. It's very strange. It's like, they were just like, yeah, whatever. Who cares? I thought actually they didn't resign one of the private party guys.
00:29:34
Speaker
Oh, I thought that was months ago, but then he did show up after that. So I think only one of them is under contract and the other one they just bring in here and there as I guess as one shots or maybe he did sign another contract. It's still says he says he signed Mark when OK, huh?
00:29:52
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I like that Ethan Page gets TV time, like, even if it isn't a Texas deathmatch, Texas Chainsaw Massacre deathmatch. Ethan Page also has a really sweet spot that they just seem like he can at any point come out and abandon any previous stories and promos and cut either a total babyface or total heel promo out of nowhere. And the fans just accept it because he's good at it. Yeah.
00:30:21
Speaker
I will just say, by the way, Mark, when's last picture on Instagram is him in a hospital gown. So I think he had some kind of surgery. OK. But yeah, then the main event we had Ruby and Tony versus Sky Blue and our champ. Oh, yeah, that's the rampage main event.
00:30:46
Speaker
the Rampage main event. And two best things, it was mostly Sky Blue getting the shit beat out of her for a long time while we're waiting for the champ to tag in. But she did get Tony Storm. Tony Storm threw ass at her twice. Once she was on the apron, threw ass into her face, knocked her out onto the floor, another one in the corner. My favorite move in pro wrestling right now is Tony Storm throwing ass. That is,
00:31:11
Speaker
I don't think you're doing very violent to I like everything her ass is very violent I really love that the Tony storm character is one of those things that sometimes people pitch where they're like oh I'll just kind of go crazy and do a thing and doesn't it's like a better idea than execution
00:31:29
Speaker
But she's like a crazy actress from the early talkies. Yeah, you know, it's working. It's not just a good idea. She's doing it great. Yeah, because it would die if somebody didn't like I can see how it could get laughs in a room and then just die on television. And it is great every single week when she does it. I think it does help that she's been working with that faux British accent for a solid
00:31:59
Speaker
like year and a half now. It's made her seem a little off and now she's really fully going into that. Well, so after this Garrett, I do have the ROH spoilers. Here's what you missed.
00:32:10
Speaker
Yeah, how late would I have been for one? Now, it does appear there were only three ROH matches that I can tell here. So I don't know why they only had to tape three ROH matches. No, no, you're wrong. It was really three matches before the last fan left, and then no one was there to actually write what the fourth and fifth matches were. Gotcha. Yeah. They recorded four straight hours of Ring of Honor.
00:32:33
Speaker
Well, when I walked into the arena, it was Sir Pentico and fucking Matt Seidel doing Ring of Honor before the shows, like before Dynamite. That's labeled here as a dark match, so no one may ever see that, including other, it's for your memory alone, Garrett. I saw it on a TV while I was by attendees. How pumped is Matt Seidel's family that they don't have to watch that now?
00:33:05
Speaker
They're like, they pray every week. They're like, Oh my God, I hope I don't have to watch Ring of Honor again this week. Not a side only has so many summers left in her and I want to be spending them at the pool without watching this crap. So here are your three matches, Gary, that you could have witnessed. Yeah, I could have had fun. What did I miss?
00:33:35
Speaker
Claudio Castagnoli defeating Ryan Nemeth. Oh, who can't wrestle on Saturdays? Can't wrestle on Saturdays. Yeah. Apparently 30 giant swings. 30 giant swings. Oh, shit his pants. Yeah. Dark order against Dalton Castle and the boys. Oh, I knew I missed Dalton. He lives here now. So he had. Oh, he definitely. Yeah. That would have been that would have been solid.
00:34:03
Speaker
And Emmy Sakura against Alice Crowley, not Alistair Crowley, Alice Crowley. She's slightly less dark. I think this is the last match of the night. That was the last match of the night. Apparently send them home. Happy is what they always say. Yeah. You send that's what they sent him home on again, unless someone stopped reporting.
00:34:30
Speaker
I don't know why they honestly don't just do Ring of Honor in a studio show every time. It just feels like...
00:34:38
Speaker
you're actively making your audience mad at you.
Creative Match Ideas for WrestleMania
00:34:42
Speaker
Because it's like, if, Garrett, if you just had the opportunity to go to a, like they said, those were the three matches and here's a free ticket, you could just say no and be fine with it. But it feels kind of weird to be like, is this wrestling I technically paid for? So there is that slight compulsion of like, do I need to stay to watch this? But you're always going to be disappointed. And since it's on a weeknight, you're always kind of like, fuck, you know,
00:35:07
Speaker
work tomorrow, I'm gonna be not getting sleep. I just get mad at Tony Khan that it even exists. And they'll never tell you what's coming next. You'll be like, look, I guess I should stay for one more match and then Big Bill will come out and you'll go like, fuck, I missed my train for Big Bill.
00:35:30
Speaker
They did my... My wife said she was leaving me if I wasn't home by midnight. Now I'm getting a divorce because of fucking big Bill. Again, this is my third marriage he's ruined.
00:35:45
Speaker
I mean, yeah, if they had mentioned literally anybody, like, we got any Dalton Castle fans in the house, he's gonna be on tonight. Who likes Cesaro? You remember him? He's gonna be in here. Well, but like, Cesaro's still a legit star. Like, he's their world champion, right? You don't mention that the world champion who does appear in the most popular or one of the two most popular factions in the entire, like, league? Like, you don't mention him?
00:36:15
Speaker
Well, why wouldn't for rampage? You mentioned the fucking women's champ is going to be in the main event. Like tell me not. They literally told us nothing other than like, hey, are you guys sad that it's the main event of Rampage and that the show's over? Well, guess what? There's a ring of honor. It does look at least like they ended the ring of honor before like 11 o'clock.
00:36:41
Speaker
your time, maybe 11, 11 15. Cause some of the, some of the ones in New York have gone to like midnight. And if it's midnight on a Wednesday and you're watching Tony Neese beat a jobber, things aren't going great in your life. And they really, they need a sponsorship with better help so that as you're walking out of the arena, they're like, look, man, I'm sorry. Here's a card. Call someone, talk to someone. It gets better. You,
00:37:11
Speaker
If you're alone walking out of there, like if Bax and I, like eight years ago, we're walking out of there, just fucking wasted on a Wednesday, just not caring about work, you'd go, well, okay, you guys probably have an issue too, but I'm more concerned about that guy who's stone sober.
00:37:38
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's, here's an idea, Tony Khan. I'll give you this one for free.
00:37:43
Speaker
just if you're going to do this, especially when they do the multiple episodes, which didn't sound like they did here, because like Chris and I have been to shows where they're like, oh, we're doing two episodes of Ring of Honor afterwards. And it's like we're like a two hour. I think it may it may just be that they're two hour episodes. Facts. I don't I think they're they're usually one hour. I have not watched any Ring of Honor since zero three. No, I watched a couple of the first three and they were an hour each. So but then that does seem like a Tony gun thing of, oh, no one's watching. Let's make it longer.
00:38:12
Speaker
But if you're going to do that, here's my pitch. Started at like 3 p.m. 2 p.m. That way you get all of the trolls, all of the wretched goat fungus people that go to these shows. They'll show up. They're excited for any wrestling. And you know what? Even fairly normal ish people like us. I wouldn't hate an excuse of taking a day off work. Like, again, if I'm thinking like the fucking Star Wars cantina in there,
00:38:41
Speaker
He really is. Mox is like, I don't understand any of them.
00:38:46
Speaker
But no, but seriously, like, if it's like, man, it's like eleven thirty, like, when am I going to get home? When am I getting to bed? I got work tomorrow. It's just like whatever. But if I'm like, I got a reason to take a half day at work and like I just get to watch like any live wrestling. And again, it gets your dick a little hard for the real wrestling, because that's the other thing, too, is that even when you get a banger dynamite or a banger collision, it's like, oh,
00:39:16
Speaker
I get more wrestling, but it's big bill against one of the Peacock Boys. It's like your dick is slowly getting flaccid. But it's like it's becoming an innie almost. Right, right. You're going from rock hard to Enzo.
00:39:35
Speaker
You just came, but you have to watch three more hours of porn for some reason. You're done. Just flaccid watching pornography. It really does get sad. Yeah. And just shame? You're just filled with shame?
00:39:54
Speaker
Filth and shame. And you're not allowed to even clean yourself. You're not allowed to clean yourself after you've climaxed.
Humor in Wrestling Promotions and Scenarios
00:40:01
Speaker
You can just stay in your own sweaty filth, sitting in a leather chair that you're sticking to, watching an old Peter North film from 1999. Or Josh Woods against Jay Lethal.
00:40:25
Speaker
Just asking yourself, like, am I, like, am I a depraved human? But that's what I'm saying is Josh Woods against Jay Lethal. If you go, is this worth me? Because that's the math you're doing sometimes. It's like, is this worth me getting an hour less sleep tonight? The answer is no. But if it's like, oh, I could be watching this live in an arena at three in the afternoon instead of being at work, that sounds delightful.
00:40:56
Speaker
I'm with you facts. They, I don't understand why they would do it after to start early. What was that? And they'd sell a couple more beers. I'm more likely to buy beers to get through that J lethal match. But that's a beer. You're going to buy a beer when you've got two hours to let that go off, as opposed to you buying a beer at 11 o'clock at night. You, you got to drive home.
00:41:20
Speaker
And by the way, if you do like two hours of Ring of Honor before you got the beer lines going, you throw Juice Robinson out there. You throw Rock Hard out there, cut a quick promo about his T-shirt. That's some revenue. That's how you help Hawaii. We watched so much wrestling in the buildup to last week's episode that never happened.
00:41:44
Speaker
This is true. I didn't. I saw none of it, but I've seen all of it since then. And we're not talking about any of it. And I'm comfortable with that. Not even Logan Paul. Actually, no, I I actually still have not seen one second of SummerSlam. I've seen all of the AEW until tonight. What about the beef jerky wrestling? Did you watch any of the beef jerky wrestling? No. OK. Did you know that beef jerky wrestling? No, I don't even have any idea what you're talking about.
00:42:14
Speaker
There was a Battle Royal sponsored by Slim Jim. Oh, no, no. Okay, yes. I've heard of this. I heard of this. LA Knight won it. I hear. Sponsorships, guys. Wrestling and sponsorships. Everything is about sponsorships, guys. It's okay. Did a giant Slim Jim come out to the ring? That guy from the 90s that was in all those commercials in the Slim Jim suit that had the Angie of 20 gone post-show.
00:42:43
Speaker
I forgot all about him, Jesus, wow. You mean Macho Man Randy Savage? No, no, there isn't. After Macho Man. I know, I vaguely recall that the guy just screaming, snap into a Slim Jim at me, who was not nearly as good as the Macho Man, it convinced me to eat Slim Jims.
00:43:00
Speaker
The Slim Jim person, the Slim Jim spokesman trailer is just filled with cocaine. So whoever was in that trailer was going to be doing drugs. That was a regular actor before they filled him with cocaine and put him in that suit. It was actually they later recovered and it's actually Tilda Swinton. She once she got off the cocaine, she became not only a normal human being, but a very respected actor.
00:43:30
Speaker
Very decorated. Oh, yeah. Classy. Chris and I watched watched one of our heroes fall flat on his goddamn face on GCW. Yeah, that was weird. We we wandered on to GCW late. Right. And we watched the end of was it Speedball against Blake Christian? Yeah, I think it was their Detroit show. Yeah. Yeah. Right before SummerSlim. And then
00:43:58
Speaker
Blake Christian was doing bad things, right? Maybe someone else was involved. I don't even remember at this point. And then Nick Gage ran out and, uh, pulled a Titus O'Neil, but just into like, just until just like a, it wasn't like a long thing. He just like slipped coming out. It was more like a shock master. Really? It was like, it was like if Titus O'Neil and the shock master had a baby, that was the fall that Nick Gage took.
00:44:26
Speaker
The Slim Jim people should get Nick Gage to do their commercials. And only air it on late night television where he's allowed to curse. Need a little excitement? Don't think about it. You are enough. You don't need the excitement. You just need you and a belief in yourself. Fuck expectations. Fuck expectations. But you know what? Still eat a Slim Jim. You'll feel better. They're delicious. It's not so bad. Pretty good, even.
00:44:56
Speaker
They got meat, they got them at 7-11, so you get it at three in the morning. You ever find yourself stuck in the back of a car with Jimmy Lloyd for four hours while you're on your way to Philadelphia? Slim Jim. It's the smell of the Slim Jim. The smell of the Slim Jim overcomes the Jimmy smell. That's the new slogan. Slim Jims, it's literally all Jimmy Lloyd eats.
00:45:26
Speaker
The commercial is like two people playing Jimmy Lloyd's intestines. I'm just a picture like Jimmy Lloyd just having like 10 Slim Jims. He's just arranged in a square like a piece of bread and then just putting squeezed cheese over it and just eating it. Just like grandma used to make. That's just a normal Tuesday.
00:45:52
Speaker
And then taking one that's left over and just rubbing it on his shorts. No, no, but he's eating it in the aisle at the 7-Eleven. Then the employee is like, sure, you have to pay for that. And he just doesn't respond. He just slowly eats it. In front of the team, they're like, should we call the police? It's only like $6 worth of food. It's just gross. I just want them gone.
00:46:22
Speaker
I'm the set of The Good Shepherd. Robert De Niro had to be like, yeah, it's fucking distracting. What is that sound? What is that sound I'm hearing?
Wrestling Anecdotes and Cultural Reflections
00:46:31
Speaker
And it's just the sound of all the Slim Jim rappers under the couch, Jimmy Lloyd sitting on, won't stop wrinkling. Like this kid smells like beef sticks and it's really, it's throwing off. I'm a method actor and this scene in my mind doesn't smell like beef. He just goes, he goes, what's that smell? What's that smell? He goes over.
00:46:52
Speaker
Is that poor people food? That's what Rob Bobby D thinks of Slim Jim's. That was the Lord. Oh, always, always Jimmy. Jeff Hardy came out, though, with Nick Gage and he talked about how excited he was very excited to be there for game changing wrestling.
00:47:19
Speaker
Game changing wrestling, which sounds like a board game, you'd tell us wasn't that good facts. Sounds like a B minus. Yeah. Like I played game changing wrestling and it just, it wasn't. It's no rumble slam. That's for sure. Do you think Jimmy Lloyd stuck around for, um, for the Jeff Hardy concert after the show? He was playing bass.
00:47:45
Speaker
That makes sense. I saw Michael Serra play bass once in some band. He looked kind of homeless, which again, I mean, yeah, maybe Jimmy Lloyd and Michael Serra more common than you think. You know who I saw play bass at a show? So a friend's band was playing a show and they were playing before McLovin's band.
00:48:08
Speaker
Oh, wow. And that like it was bizarre. Like the music they played was basically wedding music. Like it was like a wedding band music. And there was a moment because he's the front man and bassist of this band. We're just in like we're in a bar like it's like a pretty cool concert venue actually. And there's not a ton of people, but he's just like this next song we're going to play for you because it's fucking beautiful.
00:48:37
Speaker
And I thought like, oh, this is going to be like a funny song, but it was just a regular song. It's just a ballad. Was it beautiful? Was it beautiful? Beautiful enough that after that show, he was definitely getting laid. He was surrounded by every girl at the bar, which is insane because we just watched his shitty band together. Like they saw the same show I did. And also he's just McLovin. Right.
00:49:07
Speaker
There's a clear path for the podcast here, which is that Bax needs to see a Jonah Hill concert. Really? Bring this through just a super bad experience. He is playing Jerry Garcia in a thing, so maybe he'll just do a pop up and you'll be like, yeah, yeah, I saw, you know, I saw I saw Jonah Hill. He's saying China Cat Sunflower and he
00:49:33
Speaker
did a bunch of heroin. It was great. It was great. It was an interesting experience. Maybe I can get him to, you know, to get into character. You know, I'll be like, come and do some live music at Bhutan. It's pretty much the modern Woodstock. It's just a freewill culture. And it's where your story gets your story. Right. Yeah. I feel like Jonah Hill would like the sound of that. Yeah.
00:50:04
Speaker
Who wouldn't? Bad people. Bad people. What else did we watch in all of that wrestling? Like what were we, you and I, oh, I think it was just like we had just watched the parking lot brawl. We never even got to talk about that. Oh yeah, that was amazing. That was fucking awesome. With the, it was just so
00:50:29
Speaker
Bizarre though, right? Because it's a taped rampage in Tampa. And then I remember them announcing on dynamite. They're like, Oh, and we're going to do a parking lot brawl in the parking lot in Jacksonville. And I was like, Oh, I guess they're doing rampage in Jacksonville. And maybe they're doing like a house show thing. Nope. They just filmed the rest of like, how shitty does that feel? If you're the person in Tampa that stayed to the end and then they're like, Oh yeah, the one good match. Yeah, that's, that's not happening.
00:50:59
Speaker
It's actually paid extras got to watch that one. There are too many pretty ladies and then like some goblins.
00:51:06
Speaker
So I think that they're probably, yeah, like people that were like season ticket holders when they did all the shows in Jacksonville, and then they kind of probably, I don't know if they were paid extras or maybe, because you figure a lot of wrestlers live in Florida, so maybe it's like girlfriends, or just MJF's various girlfriends, they're all just a different day of the week girls for MJF.
00:51:32
Speaker
That match was fucking great. I loved it every every second of it just I loved and the orange Cassidy coming in like a superhero writing Suze van that was Just beautiful at some point I think you know, I think sometimes about like I love like watching like like compilations of wrestlers and stuff like that I feel like a few years from now I
00:51:59
Speaker
We're just going to watch all the Moxley AEW matches and the 2023 year is just going to be a delight. We're just going to be like, remember Mox did all this shit just in like the span of six. He wrestled less than barely over a month ago. Yeah. A month, a month passed between him doing that parking lot match and him wrestling fucking June Kasai in Tokyo.
00:52:26
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, there is no remote precedent for what Moxley has done over the last 18 months, right? That he's in his prime, one of the top guys in the entire industry. Because it's not like, again, Terry Funk, his career had already atrophied a bit before he went into this. McRae needed to really do this to even get into the big leagues. There is absolutely no precedence for a guy that's a legit made man, made an inventor anywhere in the country the rest of his life.
00:52:54
Speaker
to just be like, yep, I'm just gonna do dirty death matches in front of no one. And then, over the goddamn weekend, debuted a PWG. Oh, who'd he wrestle a PWG? I saw that he debuted, but... Titus Alexander. Okay.
00:53:14
Speaker
And my buddy, I had a couple of friends there. My buddy John said that he just like beat the absolute shit out of Titus Alexander. And it's not like the crowd went ape shit when he came through the curtain. I mean, that it was mystery vortex. So you don't know who's going to be there. Roddy came out wearing his shitty little boots. I guess people were really excited for the return of Roddy. You could you would have looked at him.
00:53:42
Speaker
The main event was Fax Dream. It was a one-hour Iron Man match for the title between Daniel Garcia and Speedball Mike Bailey, and it went into extra innings. I mean, I do love Daniel Garcia, but he probably wasn't busting out his Sweet Dance moves during that one. Also, here's a match that happened. Evil Uno, Maki Ito, and Aramis against Masha Slamovich, Peter Avalon, and Latigo.
00:54:12
Speaker
It looked like Maki Ito took a dive out of one of the balconies, which looked cool. I don't know. I miss PWG. It seemed like they don't do shows a ton anymore. So I don't know. Mystery Vortex was always a good one.
00:54:26
Speaker
Doesn't just hearing this kind of make you mad, though, that, like, again, Rampage has been so shitty for so long? Like, why doesn't Tony Khan just get one of these guys from one of the top indies that somehow spin fucking gold out of just a couple of big names?
00:54:44
Speaker
Week after week, just get one of them to fucking run rampage, make it experimental, do something with it that's interesting. Right. Because again, the people that are watching are going to watch no matter what you do. So there's really no downside. But there's no just let Super Dragon run it. Well, yeah, I mean, let Super Dragon run it. Sure. Fucking let Jericho run it. Right. He does the announcers just be like, fuck it, Jericho, book it. I don't give a shit.
00:55:11
Speaker
It could be worse. We have so much action, Andretti. Yeah. It makes me, I will say, seeing those results also makes me miss going to watch wrestling, indie wrestling in a theater. Like, why haven't they run an ROH show at Hammerstein since they bought this thing? Like, come on, guys. Or any of the classic venues, right? Yeah.
00:55:33
Speaker
Even when they do the ROH cities, they're doing the, well, and like, that's the craziest thing. I went to the last ROH pay-per-view in the state of New Jersey. There's been tons of historic ROH stuff in the state of New Jersey. I don't think any of it was ever in that fucking arena in Trenton. I literally, I've lived in New Jersey for six years and I did not know it existed. That arena until I bought that ticket.
00:55:58
Speaker
That's because what Trenton makes the world takes facts. Just take, take, take, take, take. It's no booting. No. Stories end in Trenton. Okay. Stories end.
Banter on AEW's State and Future Scenarios
00:56:10
Speaker
It's probably where Jimmy Lloyd lives. Just under a bridge somewhere in Trenton. Where do we think that, so will ROH run a show WrestleMania weekend? Did they quit doing that now that TK is in charge?
00:56:26
Speaker
No, they did that this year too. I think they're gonna do it. I think so. And I think that that was one of the coy things of buying ROH is like, well, ROH is its own thing. So if ROH was doing Supercard of Honor, then we're gonna keep... And honestly, for the very few hardcore Ring of Honor fans that still exist, the very, very few, like Mittens, who was at that aforementioned pay-per-view in Trenton,
00:56:54
Speaker
I think they would actually be disappointed if they didn't do that. Yeah, I think they're going to run. There's a an arena at Temple University that they've run dynamites in some other things. I think that's probably the ROH venue. I think it's called the Lea Chorus Center. Yeah, but it's like a smaller arena. It was like the second ever dynamite was there. Right. Yeah, one of those. Yeah, early. Yeah. Yeah, I think I think that's there.
00:57:25
Speaker
I think, I don't know who's got the arena on lockdown. But that's the other question is where GCW is going to be, because it won't be at the arena. Which is weird, because you would think it's such a clearly obvious place. You'd think someone would move early and already lock it down. And if they've done that... I think it is, but I don't think it's known yet. Yeah, but why not announce it? Wouldn't that just generate excitement in your product?
00:57:54
Speaker
I don't know. What is because the plan is we are going to Philly that weekend. Yeah, it sounds like a lot of people were getting sticker shock on the WrestleMania tickets this year. It sounds like they were pretty fucking expensive during the presale, like even for single days. Yeah, well, I think for me, it's kind of like.
00:58:18
Speaker
When Metallica is like, we're going to play giant stadium and you look at the ticket, you're like, Oh my God, that's expensive. But like, I want to see a Metallica show. So for me, it's like, how much am I willing to pay for a show I legitimately don't care about? Like my apathy towards WWE is not remotely exaggerated. Like I legitimately have very passing interest. Guys, I have bad news.
00:58:48
Speaker
There's one event so far that is announced for the 2300 Arena WrestleMania weekend. It's Friday evening. Is it impact? Is it impact? It is not worse. MLW? Worse. NWA? Worse. Control your narrative? Worse. It's a tribute to the extreme.
00:59:14
Speaker
which is fine. It's an ECW Trivia show. It's promoted by Battleground Championship Wrestling, which is run by Rob Black, Rob Weinstein.
00:59:33
Speaker
The only person below Rob Black in the wrestling morality totem pole, if you're looking for that guy, even Rob Black looks at Rob Feinstein, he's like, that guy's fucking disgusting. Wow. Well, I guess I know where we'll be. We're going to be reporters. He's the only predator that's been caught in wrestling. So many wrestling predators, but they caught Rob Feinstein.
01:00:01
Speaker
Well, Moxley caught that one in Nashville rafters, but yeah. But that's also kind of a bold move. Like what does he think he's going to do that? Because like, again, by WrestleMania standards, it's a small arena, but like it's not that small of a space like to Jerry versus super crazy, apparently. In 2023.
01:00:30
Speaker
No, Chris, that would be twenty twenty four twenty three four. Sorry. A different year. Things are things have changed. Wow. I. I don't know, man, because I like and I remember it's been a two years since I was in Dallas, but I definitely like the big shows were wild and great. But like there were a lot of other shows going on WrestleMania weekend that like were kind of sad that like people were just like, nope.
01:01:02
Speaker
I think here's our plan for the weekend. Heater, come up, we'll just be your little guys all weekend. We're just gonna follow you around. Random indie shows. You wrestle at three in the morning or two in the afternoon, Heater, we gotcha. Well, ironically, it's ironic that actually, Chris, you and I are gonna be Heater's guys, and Garrett's going to be stalking the beast man. Yes, yes. Guys, holy shit, how did I not
01:01:29
Speaker
Okay, so I leave the arena and there's guys passing out CCW flyers for the upcoming show, which they've moved the shows from the gym by my house to a theater I've never heard of. And it says theater, I don't believe it's a real theater. I think it's going to be a room. They do sometimes call those adult porno stores. They have a theater in the back, it might be one of those, a Rob Black situation. Put a quarter in, you'll see the Beastman.
01:02:02
Speaker
Oh, I would never have any quarters. Um, but the guy handing out the flyers and I, I, he was handing them and I grabbed it. And as I looked over my shoulder and realized who it was, I almost turned around to go talk to him. And I, I thought, Chris and facts are going to be so mad at me for not going and asking this man more questions. The guy handing out the flyers was beast man's little guy.
01:02:30
Speaker
The guy who carries the bone and jerks the bone off at kids. Sure. Yeah. You didn't ask him what's that about? What's your bone strategy? You should have given him a card, Garrett, and we could have interviewed him. We can still, next time, let's get him on the show. Let's talk about his bone.
01:02:54
Speaker
I would just want it out in the morning for you right now. And I knew it was only going to be later if I stood around and talked to Beastman's little guy. Yeah, but kind of again, am I am I is it worth missing sleep to to watch, you know, a Brian Cage match? Not necessarily. It would be worth it for that. Yeah, I would have waited another 15 minutes if we got fun.
01:03:20
Speaker
CCW Beastman facts from the little guy. I just want to know what Beastman smells like when he's in normal people clothes. I can't believe he hasn't blocked us yet on every social media. Hey let's and let's be clear Beastman if you're listening we know it's definitely better than Jimmy Lloyd okay.
01:03:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I think he smells wonderful. That's the thing is I want a very flowery language to describe the is it citrusy, just like a meadow, like I'm thinking like a mix between lavender and barbecue sauce. Hmm. But like a sweet, like a very pleasant aroma barbecue sauce, but with just a hint of lavender, just a real.
01:04:08
Speaker
I think it'd be, again, I'm with the effects, delightful. Beastman's listening to this right now. He's like, you guys are assholes. It's like, I think you're making fun of me. We're not. We're not. We love you. I almost talked to your little guy just so that I could talk to somebody who knows you. And let's be honest, you did not talk to the little guy because you were worried about how late we were going to be up on the East Coast. You didn't because you were a little intimidated. Let's be honest. He's Beastman's little guy. That's a star.
01:04:37
Speaker
That is, I mean, seven degrees of Kevin Bacon, like that. Yeah, he is one degree from Beastman. He has his number in his phone for sure. Here's a question. Here's my WrestleMania main event next week, next year, if we can make it happen. Can we see heater versus Beastman during WrestleMania weekend? Both guys go hard. Deathmatch.
01:05:03
Speaker
I think the three of us certainly have the money and connections to make it happen. Right. I'll promote a show anywhere at any time if we can main event it with Heater versus B-Span. And ideally run it directly head to head against Rob Feinstein's show. Yes. Yes, of course. Yeah.
01:05:24
Speaker
We'll book, we can actually reach out to the GC, the ECW arena and see if we can book half the arena. We'll just be sectioned off with a curtain. And that's where you pay 25 cents to see the beast. So Garrett, have you ever been to the ECW arena?
01:05:41
Speaker
No, I've never been to Philly. This will be my first time. So it's kind of like I mean, I'm trying to think because, Chris, it's kind of like there's like a bridge there and like it's kind of like it's not a highway, but kind of a big piece of road. So there's not like a parking lot per se right there. Yeah, it is kind of in the middle of nowhere for Philly. Right. So I do feel like we could just do an outdoor show just on that street. Hmm. Yeah. Just do a parking lot brawl.
01:06:12
Speaker
I'm gonna look up ECW Arena and see where the closest Buffalo Wild Wings is. Oh, wow. We promote it with Appalachian Championship Wrestling and predetermined Pro Wrestling Hangout. Present WrestleMania Weekend 2024, Heater versus Beastman. Book it. Book it. Here's all my money. Whatever money we need to make that happen.
01:06:40
Speaker
He's got three little guys. Beastman's only got one. Which of us is going to have to steal that bone and jerk it off at him? Well, you know that like Heater's going to have to work heel, right? Because it's going to be like, he's like, oh, Nashville hot chicken's the best. And then Beastman's going to be like, no wings are the best. They're on bones. And of course, the Buffalo Wild Wing people are going to side with the guy with bones. Yeah, right.
01:07:06
Speaker
Right. But then then a Philly wrestler is going to come out with a cheesesteak, try to make it a three way. The two of them kick his ass, right? They get him right out of there. And then it's a respect match. Get the shut the fuck up. And then we do commentary lemon pepper.
01:07:24
Speaker
We do commentary. We'll stream it on YouTube or something. We'll do commentary. But right behind us in the audience, we'll just get Jimmy Lloyd to just eat his his Slim Jim bread with cheese on it. And we'll just honestly like we'll just say we'll we'll pay for all the Slim Jims you can eat. Just as long as you're visible there with us, just keep eating Slim Jims. We'll keep buying them. Yeah, he will rob us. He is going to rob us. My car will be missing. Something will be missing.
01:07:57
Speaker
It's going to be like the hangover. He's going to be my Zach Galifianakis. I know. I think it's going to be the opposite, right? It's going to be like the hangover, but he's not going to be your Zach Galifianakis. We roofie him. He's going to be your Mike Tyson's lion. That's just he's going to get into your room and never leave. And then you can't go back anymore because you know, as soon as you open the door, there's a wild Jimmy Lloyd in there.
01:08:24
Speaker
I really don't think Rufus would work on him. I think like his system's too used to him. He loves him. He loves him. Pops those things like tic tacs.
01:08:34
Speaker
calls them vitamins. Yeah. I could just see him just being like, he's bored and you're just like, man, when's he going to leave? Like he's taken all the drugs he brought. He's eaten all my food. You just go over there. He's just like sucking on batteries. He's just like, doesn't understand how things work. He's just like, what is this? It's going to be a fun weekend, guys. We're going to come prepare. We're going to prepare with all the things we need in our Airbnb.
01:09:02
Speaker
We're going to get three cases of prime energy drink with more caffeine than it says it has. Um, most stores stopped selling it. The FDA has met like Kroger pulled it from the stores. Yeah, I can still get it in New York. Don't worry. And then, uh, six cases of hard Mountain Dew. I have a, I have a product pitch for you guys as people who drank hard Mountain Dew with me. So I think we got to go deeper into the well for hard products.
01:09:31
Speaker
Here's my pitch guys, hard Pepsi blue. Oh, that shit was miserable. That shit was truly heinous. Like that is worse than sucking on a battery in like no joke. That sounds like a 12 volt. As something I remember I did in college once, once is we had some a case of natty ice.
01:09:59
Speaker
And Natty Ice apparently didn't have enough alcohol for it. So me and my roommate Kevin poured vodka into the Natty Ice. And this is the cheap $10 handle of vodka you'd buy in college. It was gross. That's disturbing. Then we drank a whole lot of it and ate a pound of spaghetti. Just remember parents.
01:10:23
Speaker
If you're concerned about the future of your children, because of what they're doing, Baxx is a gainfully employed person right now. I was the vice president of a public traded company. And yeah. And my friend whose name I already said, so I guess I can't say remain nameless. Uh, he's a very high ranking person, uh, in a organization that everyone knows vodka and natty ice. Yeah.
01:10:50
Speaker
and spaghetti. Don't forget. We definitely got to find it. The Kroger brand whole wheat spaghetti. Chris, I need, I feel like fax is going to bail on me on this and I feel like maybe you won't. Okay. Can I ask you for a promise? Sure. Will you go see Logan Paul with me while we're in Philadelphia?
01:11:18
Speaker
Sure. I presume this is going to be at WrestleMania. No, at his hotel room. Yeah. I said you said you would and I'm pulling a roll of duct tape out of my bag. You just have a pack of Pokemon cards on a string and you just keep pulling it. You're the group. I'm the groupies friend because when you're the groupie, if you get like deposited, you don't know when you're getting deposited at a hotel room.
01:11:48
Speaker
and you gotta make sure someone's there to get you home.
01:11:54
Speaker
I think he gave Garrett some bad prime. If I'm gonna be in the same town where Logan Paul's wrestling, I'm gonna be in that place watching him wrestle. We should do a poll for the listeners of if they can successfully, we'll find some prize if they can pick the combination of which one of us and which wrestler results WrestleMania weekend in the first restraining order.
01:12:20
Speaker
Is it Beastman? Is it Logan Paul? Coming from behind, it is Jimmy Lloyd! He's like, I'm nice, and you guys are buttholes. And it's like, hmm, Luchasaurus, who knew? That one came out of left field. He wasn't even in Philadelphia either, that's the weirdest part. He was just at home. Oh my god.
01:12:50
Speaker
It's pretty late for you guys. Do we need to wrap this? I mean, I mean, we could talk about the G1. I think the less said about the G1 the better and leave all this in Garrett. I want I want the audience to hear how Gato to hear this. I want to make sure they know how little I care nor approve of what they're doing over there. Gato try harder next year. Come on.
01:13:18
Speaker
I got rock hard in AEW. I don't know if I need New Japan anymore, the way they're booking things. It's true. I hope so hard that Okada just comes over here. Ooh, those fighting words. But I do too. I want to see Okada in AEW.
01:13:37
Speaker
Well, and I kind of want to see them forced to do because I think part of the thing is like I don't know that there's inherently anything wrong with like Sonata as a top guy. I think it's just the fact that they don't change enough. They're like, oh, let's just make evil a top guy. Let's try to make Sonata a top guy. But they change nothing else. And it's like, no, like even Vince years when the business was not doing well, took some risks, you know,
01:14:05
Speaker
Oh, but they did Naito Okada part 14. It was good, but you know. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Garrett, you you you took one for the team tonight, you. Your page, my pleasure.
01:14:21
Speaker
Um, I, I saw a match that I don't think they'll ever be a sequel to. Um, I hope not. At least I, I. Wait, what, what movie would we, cause obviously that's a remake, right? Texas. What's for the game? Oh, okay. For a game. So what, what movie would we least want there to be a game made about that then inspires Tony condo book wrestling match?
01:14:47
Speaker
Um, they're like, here's the chopping mall attack of the killer tomatoes. They just like that one. They're like, it's just the tomato match. The toxic Avenger has a remake coming out. They just released the first photo of Dinklage is toxic. Dinklage is playing toxic. Mm hmm. That doesn't I mean, I knowing nothing else about the movie, but that piece of information, I'm I'm I'm not against it.
01:15:17
Speaker
interested at least. Like somebody gets thrown into a vat of ooze. That seems like something Jericho would be into. You know what would be great is if next year for fight for the fall and they're like, okay, man, we need to get another sponsorship to get some money for wherever there's a big international disaster happening. And like, they're like, okay, who's offering us the most money to sponsor a match and they'll make a belt for us. They're like, it's wicked pictures.
01:15:46
Speaker
Pornhub. Oh, okay. Okay. I was going to say the first one went over my head, but I know the second one you said. I've heard of it. Vivid Video presents the Adult Video News Awards spot match. Featuring Christopher Daniels and Luchasaurus.
01:16:11
Speaker
That's why, I wonder why his eyes are so red. It's all the ooze getting in him. And I did want to point out, I think, I forget, I think it was collision last week, which again, not good. It was the first, like I was, you guys know, Garrett, especially like the strength of how much I've said I love collision, but it's been really bad except for the main events the last couple of weeks. And then the main events have had really shitty finishes and CM Punk is just hard to enjoy. But except for the bang banging.
01:16:40
Speaker
Bang Bang Gang highlight every week. Well, Bang Bang Gang and then Christian calling security on his own small like eight year old daughter. That was great. Christian cutting a heel promo on his own daughter while she's there and then calling security on her. God, living the parent dream. Christian is just, I can't get a, oh, if Christian joined the Bang Bang Gang, oh, be still my beating heart.
01:17:13
Speaker
All right, guys. Thanks for listening. Sorry we missed you last week. Just know we were thinking about you. We love you. We're here now, though. Daddies are back. Your Daddies are back. We're here talking you to sleep. That's right. And as we talk ourselves to sleep.
01:17:30
Speaker
As we talk, yeah, it is. I mean, it is 12 15 at night for me. It is one 15 in the morning for you. Let's get the hell out of here. Uh, give us a follow at predetermined podcast on Instagram at Gartet, at Chris Miggs, at Jimmy facts, AKA Jimmy Lloyd's IMDB page. We'll be back next week. Talking professional wrestling for your ears that are goddamn music.