00:00:00
00:00:01
Welcome to Cult Town
26 Plays3 days ago
The crew attempts to save Sammy from being abducted by a Satanic cult.
Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/user?u=60748541
Discord - https://discord.gg/A7NCWyPkSd
Dakota as the PM, DM, GM
Evelyn as Hikaru Hatsumi the Pikachu
Eli as Bruce Flameback the Cyndaquil
Jake as Sammy Pepperoni the Munchlax
Jake as Walter Fisthands the Riolu
4
Transcript
00:00:19
Speaker
Hello, everyone, and welcome to Path Through Time. My name is Dakota, your PM, your DM, your TM, and it's a spooky month! Sitting to my left is somebody who ate a whole jack-o'-lantern five seconds ago. It's me, Evelyn. I'm... My belly is really, really full from having swallowed this whole thing. I don't even know if I can walk.
00:00:45
Speaker
Okay. And to my left is someone who just got one terabits per second of internet. Yeah, I'm ah i'm actually, my in internet is moving so fast that I am currently traveling into the future. So I am recording this as you guys are listening to it. So don't question how that works. nice I think it's called a live stream.
00:01:13
Speaker
no no no no see like they're listening to it but i'm the only one who's recording it while they're listening into it all you guys are still stuck in the past okay can i just point out that we're making brute numbers you like to be this ultra rich guy you've got the black card you've got nasa internet now so what's next oh yes elan you can catch a rocket that's coming down Eli is secretly the flame back.
00:01:45
Speaker
Hitman? What? What? The flame back patriarch. Beatrice. Sure. It's called Bruce. I keep calling you Bruce. Did you just call Eli a hitman? No, i's calling I'm calling Bruce the court of owls. This family's part of it. Oh, geez. Batman, man you'll know.
00:02:11
Speaker
No, I don't watch Batman or listen to it. Yeah, whatever. I know not to. And getting us back on track, there's somebody sitting across from me who is rolling his dice as quietly as possible.
00:02:39
Speaker
Sorry, they went flying. Uh, me, Jake! That's dang good. Yeah, it's Jake. Um, sorry guys, Sean decided to die this episode, so, uh, we had a funeral with him, we threw his body in the ocean, and, well, oh well. Anyway, so, uh, if you hadn't noticed, this is our Halloween episode. I don't know if I'll have time to do a spooky special intro like we did for a Christmas episode.
00:03:05
Speaker
But, uh, quick disclaimer before we continue, this episode will contain, uh, um, visuals, not visuals, audio. but What am I saying? This, this episode will contain blood, gore, and possibly death. In fact, most likely death. So, if that is something you're not into, get the hell out of here. So, yeah, Sean's not with us, he wasn't able to make it with us in time for a Halloween episode, but, uh, so... Be your discretion obliged. Be your discretion obliged. What? Be your discretion...
00:03:36
Speaker
discussion is advise yeah listener discretion oh yeah yeah i'm i'm seeing videos I can't speak today. Yeah. Um, right. So, uh, we don't have anyone to roll us a D. Uh, we don't have anyone to roll us a D. Uh, I'll move. We don't have anyone to roll us a move.
00:03:58
Speaker
And we don't have a recap because there was no previous episode, so we are just going to poltergeist on in. Sammy died! Sammy didn't die. He's dead! You killed him! Oh well, anyway. So yeah, we are going to poltergeist on in.
00:04:19
Speaker
We open with you guys walking down a cobblestone pathway. Bruce, Evelyn, fucking Christ, I can't speak. Bruce, Kinkaru, Walter, and Sammy are walking down. Yeah, Sammy's here. You guys are walking down a cobblestone pathway when you come across a village. Now, before we get um a a little further on, um Sean told me in our private chats to not
00:04:55
Speaker
voice sammy because i don't remember if we released that up episode but last time we did a recording with sean i voiced sammy and he hated it so much so he specifically told me i was not allowed to voice sammy so inside i'm gonna let jake voice sammy what ja jake you're playing sammy this episode as well oh walta get over here mate oh no this is gonna be bad Jake's playing Walter and Sammy this episode, so have fun with that. I know I got split term but personalities, but this has really helped, mate. Thank y'all.
00:05:36
Speaker
Sammy's Australian now. No, this is not Sammy's voice. What are you laughing about? So yeah, you guys were walking down this cobblestone path when you guys come across a village. I want somebody to roll perception. Oh, I got that mate. All right, Australian Sammy, go ahead and roll this perception. I don't know what his modifies are, but I rolled a 14.
00:06:07
Speaker
Alright, with a 14, you guys can see this. The village seems to be very decrepit, like burnt, not burnt. It does not burn down. It is very broken down. The boards of the houses are all awry. And you can see some people milling about to wearing red robes. ah You also notice that a lot of the houses seem to have red paint splashed over it, and you guys smell a very strange, coppery smell in the air.
00:06:36
Speaker
Sammy hears a footsteps coming behind him when he feels himself being jerked backwards. Oh, you guys look around and you see a... You see a... You guys see a... Pokemon, an Oshawott. You guys see an Oshawott attempting to carry Jake away.
00:07:08
Speaker
Help! You guys are trying to take Sammy. They got Sammy and they're trying to take him away. Hold on. Sammy is trying to be kidnapped. I need Sammy to roll a strength check, which is tough. um Do you have his list?
00:07:36
Speaker
Uh, just roll it at a plus one.
00:07:41
Speaker
Yeah, he should have. Okay then. was It's something like that. Or no. Yeah, it should be plus one. Alright. Crikey help! Crikey help! Ah, cork it. That'd be a 12. A 12? The assailants got a 14.
00:08:03
Speaker
So you guys watch as Sami gets dragged away off the side of the path, this Oshawott who apparently is a lot stronger than he seems he is. He gets taken down to the... Can I charge? Can I? Can I? Can we charge with a tackle? Run towards the Oshawott? Sure. So I've got the highest speed I think out of all of us.
00:08:24
Speaker
Sure, roll d speed and I'll roll him a d 10. He's got a disadvantage. He's carrying a munchlax. He's on a mission. but's What? Oshawa can carry that. When I initially said Oshawa, I meant the second evolution, but I couldn't remember what it was called. Do what? Do what? Yeah, that's what I meant, but we're going with Oshawa now, so it's just a particularly strong Oshawa.
00:08:52
Speaker
Oh, sure. OK. Well, now I'm brassed off. What did you get, Evelyn? I rolled a four. He rolled a 10. Oh. OK. So even if Bruce drew said to roll max speed, if I was going to try to roll. You can attempt it if you want. All right. So he is now huffing and puffing. I would like to use quick attack. Go for it. i'll let If you use quick attack, I'll let you roll speed with advantage.
00:09:22
Speaker
Okay. My speed's a 9. My speed's a 9, so I don't think I can. Yeah, that seems a little difficult. See, you use Quick Attack, and you're still not fast enough to be able to catch up with the assailant. What about Bruce? I got a 5. Okay, so you guys dash after this Oshawott.
00:09:44
Speaker
beautiful right who's, by the way, he's wearing, I don't know if it says before, but he's wearing a red robes and has a hood over his head. And he's carrying Sammy over his head. And he's stretching down towards the village. That is a ridiculously strong Oshawa.
00:10:01
Speaker
i a sucker he's i wish imagine to know um with some rattle style He's like coming in my ear and are running off with them We're just rolling with it so yeah, this this also has Sam I Feel like I said, I feel like Sam used to roll something for this because boy get off me. Oh boy.
00:10:26
Speaker
You roll, he just got picked up and he's not doing anything. Jake, you're still playing Sammy for the time being- I'll make you into my barbecue for me! Get off me! Okay, what are you rolling for that intimidation? Sure! Okay. Intimidation against- I'm slowly getting more Brooklyn. His, uh, not in school, what is it called? Uh, Constitution. So I got a 11 plus 1. I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have gone Brooklyn. Ugh.
00:10:56
Speaker
What did you get? Oh, I got seven. ah You got 11 plus one is 12. So yeah, this Oshawott is carrying him way down towards the village and you see a bunch of the other members gathering around the Oshawott and herding him into the village deep into the center where you see as mad as a cut snake. Get off.
00:11:23
Speaker
These guys see a large church in the center of the town, which is where Sam is being taken. It is gated off with a big ring of fencing all the way around with a big fence right in the middle. Uh, guys, this is just as welcoming looking. Yeah, yeah, red robes, big church, not not good signs here, people. I wonder what the health benefits are. Someone enrolled. Not good enough.
00:11:50
Speaker
Also, Sammy is nodding your party name. Oh my gosh, I know what this is. This is Cult of the Lamb.
00:12:00
Speaker
Somebody roll perception. What are you guys gonna do? I rolled the last one. Oh, okay. Perception. Oh, what, do we need to roll? Perception. You guys are running past something. Let me see.
00:12:21
Speaker
I rolled a 9.
00:12:27
Speaker
Anyone else? I guess I'll roll. By the way, I pulled up an Australian slang description, so Australians, if you're a fan, don't be mad at me. Sorry, Fennec. I know there's at least one Australian listening list. Not 20.
00:12:43
Speaker
Oh, na I got 19 plus something. I can't believe you. Okay, so both of Bruce and Jake notices while Evelyn passes it, but you guys see it. Oh, surprisingly to re-sign. This is welcome to cult town. We were looking for the health benefits when we talked, so that's why we saw it. You said you were looking for the health benefits? Yeah, we were talking about it, so we saw that. I'm like, huh, does this say the benefits?
00:13:08
Speaker
yeah okay so yeah you guys have entered c colt town upon closer inspection you can see that yes the uh all the houses are completely dilapidated and there is a big statue of a large pokemon you have never seen before that's big and dark what does the population say uh it doesn't have a population number because i can't be bothered to create one Can we pull out the book and see if we can find the Pokemon statue in the book? Sure. Sure. Roll smart. It's the old game era. So that's what the wars are being the era of Pokemon. Smart.
00:14:00
Speaker
Where is my thing?
00:14:05
Speaker
Where? Ooh, I don't think I could say this on mine. Oh. Ooh, nine plus one is ten. uh i was looking for 10 or above but i think i'll give it to you so after some time leafing through the uh lgms guide of the galaxy you finally find a picture of the statue you're looking at and you guys do not know the name but you guys know that it is uh the characters do not know this but you guys can see it is jiratina oh
00:14:40
Speaker
That's fun. You guys don't know the name of it yeah because you can't read the book. We're not. But you can look at but the picture depicts this as a very powerful being of dark energy.
00:14:56
Speaker
He looks friendly. Oh, yeah. Oops, my bad. The friendliest person you'll ever see. And now if you want to talk about dangers, this Celebi person I see on this chapter, yeah, and yeah here, that looks like a menace right there. This Jirachi character here, that looks like a real, real menace to society there. Don't get in the way of Jirachi. They got the Power Witches on their side, they'll fuck you up. Or the Pokémon that's the Ludicant Determined, if you win a battle or not.
00:15:32
Speaker
Okay, so your guys' situation is Sammy was just taken to the big church in the center of town. The town is situated in a crescent moon shape with the ah the church being at the end of the town, at the ah midpoint of the curved part of the crescent. And you guys are basically standing in the center of it, right at the entrance of the town.
00:15:58
Speaker
You see a bunch of, you see a bunch of members around you guys milling about and they are staring at you silently without saying and anything. But they are not doing anything about you. I'll whisper to Bruce, your house burning abilities may come in handy. Maybe. We'll see. Don't worry, I'll splinter the door first. Sounds good.
00:16:26
Speaker
Uh... Okay. all You're the better planner. What are you? You got any ideas? Do you think we should try to talk to anyone here? I'm kind of disoriented here. Wait, I wonder if there is any shops around.
00:16:45
Speaker
What Sammy? Sammy. I mean, I just, I don't know if we should go straight into the church. I feel like we might, there might be some,
00:16:58
Speaker
big scary ghosts or something in there he's gonna become a big scary ghost if i don't rescue him they're cold colds killed the captives okay let's uh let's go in uh i guess all right okay i guess it's time to rush the church hold on hold on let's find some innocent person with a robot that looks weak beat them up and take their rope so we can walk in. but Without people watching us. look We'll have to find three people then. Or we could just stack together and be one big person.
00:17:43
Speaker
Yeah. with an excellent grand an x two chinco Yeah. Oh, uh, almost forgot. What should we do with our character sheets?
00:17:58
Speaker
ah Your character sheets are as they are. Nothing needs to be changed. I don't think I said this before, but this episode is non-canon. Nothing that happens in this episode reflects the PTT. Is there any place that actually sells these robes? Because I'm thinking about Hikaru Sane's shops. That's a good point. Buy three, get one. Buy two, get one free.
00:18:26
Speaker
uh well Tupelo he's sitting on my space par of course the cat shows up when there's a cult here uh no you guys do not find any sort of cult robe shop can i just tap one of the guys saying hey what can i get one of these i'm kind of new here Okay, so you go and talk, there's a Flaffy, and who's wearing big red robes, and he's like, if you wish to join the cult of the damned, go to our cults later. And he points with a shaking finger to the church, which has a lightning bolt crack behind it, ominously. You got Pikachu behind the church, and with a radio or something? What? With a radio?
00:19:15
Speaker
no no the thunderbolts those are just uh uh we have a a lightning machine for its somatic purposes ah very useful useful good craft good craft so what is so what is this church of the damned are you how could you be so ignorant how could you join us and not know But we are... I'm terrible at speaking, I'm so sorry, I'm new here. Uh... I do not know if that is something I'm allowed to divulge. Well, how could I punch someone if I don't know how well they are? What? What? If I don't know you, I can just punch you, but if I know you, I'll feel bad about punching you. He... The Flaffy punches you in the face and you take one damage. Aw, hell naw. You see, like, whole-brain claws come out of him.
00:20:13
Speaker
Alright, are you guys initiating a battle? Alright, here we go. Readying the ember. Okay, I gotta create a flappy character seat. How's a flappy decking me? Don't worry about them. Who's the flappy thing they are? They got stubby arms. Yeah, he he reared back, moved his shoulder, and then punched you in the face and never said it was very hard punch it only dealt one damage does fluffie not have arms or something very tiny very stubby arms they got even less than t-rex arms okay cool so um right he all right so everyone roll d speed
00:21:11
Speaker
How am I going to roll? it I got you. I got you a roller. I can't roll a D9.
00:21:20
Speaker
Five. All right, five and five. Is that what I heard? cool Yeah. All right, Jake. Let's see. Five.
00:21:34
Speaker
but okay well the fluffy roll the six so the way i don't know have we done a battle since we introduced a new battle system nope like okay so the way the new battle system works is perfect because we we all have the same number That is. So the way the new battle system works is we're doing a fluid battle system. Each party rolls their d speed and adds all their numbers up. The highest number goes first. And between everyone, you guys can choose who goes first and it does not have to stay the same each bat each turn.
00:22:10
Speaker
so the good team will go first and you guys get to choose what order do you guys do and the bad team goes and they get to choose what order they go in and then you guys will go again and choose what order you want so your team rolled higher so you guys get to choose who goes first it gives a sense of it gives more of a sense of strategy to it okay i think jake probably should get the immediate counter attack I feel like that makes sense. And then whoever out of Bruce and Hikaru has their move ready first probably goes next. Well, I should probably not use an electric move. You guys can decide it one at a time if something comes up. Okay, um... Wait, so, uh... Walter, were you thinking about using...
00:23:05
Speaker
Were you thinking about using counter?
00:23:11
Speaker
Probably no point in doing it. I think you would have had to have used counter beforehand so it wouldn't matter. And I'd have to do it disadvantage because that is something I just learned. e right but Also, wouldn't counter just wouldn't counter go to the end of the priority or order? Yes, I have to wait unless he hits me, but there's one out three chances he hits me and not you guys.
00:23:35
Speaker
Yeah, so the way that works is if you guys use something like quick attack or counter or whatever, quick attack would automatically make you, if you are deciding to use quick attack, you would have to announce that and you would automatically go first before anything else. And with counter you would... Is I don't think you go last with counter, but if you have a move that has a negative priority, you would automatically go last.
00:24:04
Speaker
Now you use counter, but you gotta wait for the head. Actually, would this make it more balanced? Uh, if you use quick attack, you can go... No, nevermind, that doesn't make sense. It doesn't help really. It doesn't make it a little bit more difficult. I didn't even really... It's priority and then team initiative? Yeah... Probably.
00:24:28
Speaker
Interesting. I'll have to get back to you guys on that, because I didn't think about priority moves.
00:24:34
Speaker
Alright, I'm just gonna meta claw this guy. Okay, meta claw, go for it. It's not. It's not? No, steel is not very effective on electric. Well, it's too late now. It's been so long. How do you pull up the effect part? Because I try to click the effect and it just pops up something else. Uh, if you click on effect in the top middle and there's frack text.
00:25:02
Speaker
click wrap text that will open up your definition. <unk> tag I don't see it. Oh, I'll figure that out tomorrow. I didn't roll 27. I don't know. 18. Okay, 18 will hit. That might be enough for the effect, actually, right? What's the effect roll? 19.
00:25:25
Speaker
oh 19 day level clause only a 10% chance huh yeah 19 or 20 if 19 or 20 attack plus two yeah all right let's see let it be and let it do let them roll let it okay that's a five plus where's my sheet plus that's 13 plus my physical attack
00:25:53
Speaker
36 36 ah um hmm is that that's physical right physical yes well I'm glad you did all this strategizing because Flaffy is dead what I shouldn't note during this campaign if you've reached zero HP you die very Oh, that's fun. During the one shot? Yep, just during this one shot. If you risk zero, it's dead. Extra high stakes this episode, just a Halloween episode. If you die, something interesting might happen, but we'll get to that when we get to that. Guys, I got our cloak.
00:26:38
Speaker
the sign of and Yeah, the Flaffia's knocked the dead on the ground, where the established are just whatever. Flaffia's dead. We can all fit in here. yeah yeah yeah the fluffy is tall if you guys want you guys can you guys can stand on top of each other and trench coat it. Walter's strong enough to carry Ruznikaru right? Let me do some quick wait checks here. Pretty sure I'm the heavier than most of you but I don't know.
00:27:10
Speaker
for Yeah, for every 10 pounds, I'm going to add plus 1 DC, starting at 5. My tough is 3, so... Okay, yeah I'll have you start at 5, plus 1 DC for every 10 pounds that I'm carrying, and then have you roll strengths. Cyndaquil was 17.4 pounds, and Pikachu was 13.2 pounds. So I'm going to count that as 30. So you just roll a... roll a strength, beat an 8.
00:27:42
Speaker
22. Ah, yeah, I think that'll do it. Alright, who's on top though? Who's gonna be the face? I figured... I was thinking Pikachu because, i like... I was gonna say can you so you could act like you're your evolved form, because I pretend to be your evolved form to make sense of why a Pikachu this tall would not make sense.
00:28:09
Speaker
That's true. I guess. None of you guys are in evolved form. Maybe I can put on a Raichu costume. What? Hey, unless you guys carry me because I look more like my evolved form than you guys do. Since when has Evelyn been carrying around a Raichu cosplay?
00:28:28
Speaker
ah Can one of you guys carry me and I can be on top? I look more like a Lekara than you guys. You're checking. Riolu is 44.5 pounds. Nevermind, to be fair, they're part, they got metal claws, so. We can both carry him. Like, we can make a... We can make a Pokemon pyramid.
00:28:47
Speaker
was That's a fat Lucario. Hey, Lucario does have those thick thighs. Oh no. oh I gotta draw that or something. I love the idea of like a trench coat, but you guys are just double wide. It looks morbidly obese. I can't stop thinking of Eric Cartman for some reason. Oh, that's awesome. Okay, so how are you guys doing?
00:29:14
Speaker
ely
00:29:17
Speaker
Uh, yeah. Okay. So what? both role legendation thats going We're try the pyramid because it's funny. but Okay. So all right. Noted. Okay. To get advantage. Because we're each carrying half of Riolo's weight.
00:29:43
Speaker
okay sure which is still 22 pounds roll strength beat a two plus let's say six seven each of you roll a seven divide by two is three point five roll if i can beat a three i dare you oh good we have to beat a three i rolled a four which is hey i do have plus one so i got a five Bruce is struggling, but even it just... I got an 11. All right. Yeah, it has no issue. Walter, you got to lay off the pizzas.
00:30:17
Speaker
OK, so what are you guys doing now? You guys have the big gates that you can see at the end of the road that leads to the church, but you also still see a bunch of cults who watch the whole thing go down and they are doing nothing about it. Wait, there's still so many. There's a typical Friday.
00:30:38
Speaker
Well, they saw you put the cloak on, so. Oh. Well, that's lame. That's kind of- Hail your Tina. It kind ruins the whole- You guys don't know the name of the Pokemon. Since you guys can't read Oldish and the book isn't Oldish. Hail our master.
00:31:00
Speaker
All hail master scary statue. I just said dear Tina for the audience's visuals and your guys' as visuals as to what the statue is. Yeah. So, uh, all hail scary statue. Cool. So, uh, alright, so I take it you guys are heading to the gates? Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:24
Speaker
Okay, I gotta pull my notes. So you guys do a fat waddle down the street, you got some weird stairs ah as you go down the street, and you guys come across a big iron gate. Oh no, some weird iron gate. Oh yeah, isn't iron gate like a city or something? Yes.
00:31:48
Speaker
that's right well you guys have traveled all the way to iron gate no no uh upon closer inspection defense is an iron fence that is eight feet tall and goes in a circle around the entire church in both directions you guys are standing at the gate with a large ornate gem filled door knocker had a key
00:32:17
Speaker
I doubt it. It seemed like a newer grunt kind of person.
00:32:26
Speaker
New recruits probably don't get keys. So there's a wall around the whole thing. But we do have his cloak, so we can always check. It's true. You guys check the cloak. There's nothing in the cloak. OK. Are we in front of the door? Yes. You guys are standing in front of the gate.
00:32:47
Speaker
And how tall is it? Eight feet. Eight feet. So that's taller than all of us. By like four times. Yeah. That's not when Riolu's on our shoulders. That's true. Okay, three times as tall. Because Riolu is two feet. Yeah, Riolu is two feet.
00:33:12
Speaker
Pikachu is like two feet and syndical is one foot eight. yeah see Yeah. So we lopsided. Wait, I gotta check Pikachu site now. Yeah. Cause you guys are standing in front of the gate, which is eight. I'm going to say it's eight. I got a, I saw a man, my foot, like it's one month. One month. Yeah. you know the lady four So Pikachu, no, wait, no, wait, what?
00:33:42
Speaker
Depends what Pikachu you are. Pikachu is one foot four. Syndical is one foot eight. So the Pikachu side is actually... flies are mo right Well, Walter could be standing on your back. And that's true. My head. Yeah. I could just be putting more weight on you guys. Mikaru's shoulders and my back.
00:34:08
Speaker
Walter starts jumping up and down to get a better view. Faster! Faster! Yeah, because Pikachu has a shoulder. Yeah. very we're That We're not last sighted, we got it. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. but What did we see again? Because someone called.
00:34:31
Speaker
Oh, you're fine. So you guys are standing in front of the gates of the church. There is eight foot walls all the way around the church, and you guys are standing in front of the gate. There is a large ornate door knocker with a gem in the middle. Oh, I got it. So there's a gate in between the door knocker. No, there's a door knocker around the gate. It's a big door, basically. All right, I got it. Hold on. Goes into the door knocker.
00:35:02
Speaker
You hear a loud yawn. Oh, who fucking dares disturb my sleep? And the door knocker starts moving up its own accord. And who may you be? Me? Who are you? What is it? Oh, me? My name is Dory McDorphins, and I am this gate. Oh, no. It's a door. so you quite you you can't talk on the top person no I do not say that oh I see you're the person here what okay what Pokemon is it by person what do you mean I have ingrown twin what
00:35:58
Speaker
I got a little head on my back that just is a... You will not believe me, and I'm not showing anyone this. Very embarrassing, very embarrassing. Anyway. You're the doorkeeper here. You are pristine! I've been to all of the cults around the area, and you have the best doorkeeper and gate right here. This is magnificent. Well, I thank you, I thank you. I take it. I take it you have the keys then, correct?
00:36:26
Speaker
unfortunately Unfortunately... some shifty cindaquil in pikachu jumped me in an alley yeah i see and stole in that case so if you see them look beyond guard in that case you will have to do two-factor authentication oh sure he must easy task from me yeah enter your three security questions and i may let you pass
00:36:56
Speaker
Let's hear him. Come on, chapter. All right. Your first question is... I am still in the shadows, but die in the light. I am feared, but never appear. For I am nothing. That much is clear. What am I? Who the fuck cares? That is incorrect. Who made these questions? The master. The master's stupid?
00:37:28
Speaker
All over, folks have never made it like this password. They have been about us, not about a stupid little riddle. You should be ashamed. of Do you want in or not? I want to talk to your boss. I want your manager right now. Well, if you want to talk to my boss, you're going to have to get through this two-factor authentication. Two, you said three. You don't even know anymore.
00:37:54
Speaker
Duh, no, I mean, wait, actually, oh my gosh, I need to speak to him right now, or you let me in there right now, or I'll report you to the cult union. Roll intimidation.
00:38:09
Speaker
Can you have advantage because he's like almost twice as tall as he normally is? Just rolled normally. What did you roll? Now 20!
00:38:25
Speaker
Okay, did the door knock? I was just like, oh yes, yes, yes, right, right away, right away. I'm so sorry, sorry, look, today's only my second day, I'm so sorry. Just go and the door should be open. You should be ashamed. With a veracity. You better ship up or you're done here. Yeah, I understand, I understand. Just go, please, please go. And you guys have now entrance to the church.
00:38:58
Speaker
Walks in. You feel of a drop on your head. You see sweat pouring down Walter's face right now. like Oh, fucking God, that worked.
00:39:09
Speaker
oh Okay, Walter, we made it in. We should probably find Sammy as fast as possible. Who knows how long he has. Should we stay in a robe?
00:39:23
Speaker
Probably a good idea. I should point out, you guys are in the courtroom. You guys are in the gardens in front of the castle. You guys can go all the way around the church. And you see a couple guards in red robes carrying pikes. One is an Octillery, the other is as a Zigzagoon.
00:39:47
Speaker
zi Walter's eyes see them for a second. um the The other side looks free. I need someone to roll perception. I think you can only be me unless I got peepholes. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Walter, roll perception.
00:40:06
Speaker
No. Alright. Walter, so that's all the information you get from me. That was a six. Yeah, that's not gonna do it. can we like peek through the flap like the whatever i i got i gotta relieve myself real quick opens the path hole all right guys what's the plan who's this guy what's he talking to i thought you legitimately wanted to take a piss standing on no oh um my god
00:40:42
Speaker
but but
00:40:46
Speaker
i was gonna call it i like jake i think that's too much no he just unwanted for a reason so it looks like he has a reason oh my god fuck okay so sure you retrieved your shell all right guys i just explained what i saw to them basically what you told me because they couldn't have seen it okay all right
00:41:15
Speaker
like so it's it's a cloak right so it's yes is it like like hot club wo or is it a wraparound cloak it's a wraparound a cloak okay kind of like you see like can we like open up like the the front part where it folds over you guys would only see half as much as a few were not obscured so if you want to roll perception you can roll disadvantage Oh my gosh, you said the Harry Potter. I really want to go, 10 points to Gryffindor.
00:41:51
Speaker
What is this point I discovered? Dang it. I got an 18 plus two and a five plus two. Ah, an 18 plus two? Oh, disadvantage rate. Disadvantage gives me the second. I got one better. You got one better than me. Right. What about you?
00:42:14
Speaker
uh perception with disadvantage right okay my age makes us take a long time five five day all right so what you guys see is literally nothing you guys see what jake just described to you and that is it all the interesting information is on the other side from where we're looking like Hikaru and Bruce both don't see the thing because it's just out. it's um I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but the ah the door to the church is right in front of you. I think we i think they're going to go where the guards are. Should I try my same act on them or go to the church?
00:43:03
Speaker
wish Are the guards patrolling in front of the church? Like in front of the door? The guards are gar looping around in a circle. They are walking away from you currently. They are looping around, but they are on your... I think I said left. If not, they're on your left. And they are looping around the castle and will soon come towards the right. Okay. So and while they're walking away from us, we should zip towards the castle. Which means you should get off us.
00:43:33
Speaker
There's people inside.
00:43:37
Speaker
Well, that's why we still have the cloak. True. All right, I will allow this. OK, so you guys disassemble and we disassemble, but we're all still in the cloak. So now it's just the cloak. How tall is the... Is there grass around us? There's a triple wide cloak now. There are tall grass around us.
00:44:04
Speaker
I love it. It's triple wide, but there's no head. Okay. What'd you say, Kara? Is there tall grass around us? Uh, sure. I'll say there's like some hedges and stuff. It's a standard courtyard you would see in a Gothic temple, basically. Okay. Well, how tall are they? Uh, taller than a one foot four. Sure. Okay. So we could definitely... Two, three feet tall.
00:44:32
Speaker
we could sneak behind the hedges there's currently nobody to sneak away from the guards do not see you and uh there's no one yeah so okay i think we just scurry cut the robe in three three pieces she just sees it wouldn't be a very good robe at that point so i think it's fun you having Hey guys, I'm just gonna keep this voice out. I'm gonna keep up my other voice in case that that same guy walks around and so he hears me, he'll try to steer clear of us. Sounds like plan, but I think we should... We try to stealth, quickly stealth our way up into the church. Okay, so you guys are walking up to the church doors? I'm doing a lead.
00:45:28
Speaker
in indubitably so you guys walk up to the church doors and you find that they are locked hmm there is a season the guards probably have it but what you guys i know we you've been doing this a lot but go ahead and roll perception once more all of us only one of you okay i'll roll i'll roll
00:46:00
Speaker
six all right not all right uh with uh a six you guys hear some chanting coming from the inside like a virtualistic chanting more like satanic chanting not do you know the way do you know the way do you know the way do you know the way do you know the way do you know the way do you know the way okay yeah so right so you guys are at a locked door
00:46:31
Speaker
what was the other guard use there was an artillery and something else and a zigzag zigzag okay are they together or what was that Eli are they together or separate They were together. They were walking side by side. Oh, okay. They probably got the key. I don't think we should try to take the artillery. We could try my act again. Wait, maybe we should actually. I'm electric. Electric beats water. Let's say. Yeah, I think we can hide either in or behind one of the hedges and then get a sneak attack on them.
00:47:25
Speaker
when they come around again. Oh, that's smart. You don't know it. Hold on. I could try to tap, wrap this rope and tighten it up so ah it looks like a belt and the rope's still there. And try my act there. And if they don't work, I could just lead them to you guys so you could jump them. Your belt? Well, no, wrap the other thing around the rope. the rob Wrap it tight enough around me that it looks like a belt rope and just say they haven't. They didn't give me the right size.
00:47:57
Speaker
Triple wide. Yeah, you guys are triple wide. Well, hold on are all three of your heads poking out then be sticking out
00:48:17
Speaker
Okay, what are you guys planning on doing? You guys can go to the left, which is in the same direction the cults were heading, or you can go to the right, which did not seem to have anything at that moment. I can just lead them to you guys, if I can't persuade them to let me in, or let us in.
00:48:35
Speaker
Well, yeah, I think that Jake's plan here is that we get out of the robe, hide somewhere, and then Jake goes and leads them back to us if he can't get in himself. Okay. and then Gotcha. Wait, Bruce, you're weak to water. I don't know if you should try to help. You should probably stay away from Octillery. I can try to just lead one of them back. One of them's got stay guards somewhere, so...
00:49:02
Speaker
okay yeah is this a normal zigzagoon or is it a it's a regular zigzagoon a cantonian if you will hoennian wait no hoenn and you're right you know it's 10 3 not 10 1 yeah hoennian it's a hoennian zigzagoon so we all agree this we should do this okay yeah so you okay so bolter is going over to the guards then yeah he's gonna walk up with a dragging a robe yeah okay and we're hiding in a hedge okay so you walk up to the guards and you can hear them talking and you can hear the six against like uh yeah yeah i mean i just got that game yesterday it's pretty sick bro so uh what would you do in this weekend
00:49:50
Speaker
Oh yeah! I was hanging out with some friends of mine. I was playing some sports ball- What? Did you hear something? Down here, gentlemen! I could have sworn I heard a witch. A crone, if you will. I am now turning around. Oh look, a crone! Hello, crone. How can I help you?
00:50:17
Speaker
The door's locked, I'm a stake. I'm supposed to be in there, but they locked me out by, and I got here too late. Come on, you let me in. Yeah, I mean, da dude, there's this amazing ritual going on right now. They got this fat guy in there, and they're poking him with sticks and stuff. Oh, that's the best. The fat ones are always the ease of the best ones. I know, he's gonna be so juicy. Later, it's gonna be amazing, man. Anyhow, you here to help?
00:50:45
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Can, um, can the point to the zigzagoon? Can he let me in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just got to show us that you got the key. Oh, you can ask the gatekeeper. He let me in. but Okay. But that also has two factor authentication integrated into it. So like, man, you gotta to have the key if you went into the church. I gotta have the key. I got it stolen. Oh,
00:51:14
Speaker
Well, that's not my problem. I can't believe it! I've been to every single cult around the entire region! And yet, you're the only place that doesn't have another thing instead of the key. What is something? I took it!
00:51:29
Speaker
Huh? set you said you're from a different cult that mean you're like I've been to all of the cults of this region. This cult over in the region. can see that the they Oh my god, I'm getting kind of angry. There are multiple of your cults everywhere that like that under your master but are tinier everywhere. I manage them!
00:51:55
Speaker
Hey bro, do you remember what he said to do with enemies? Not really. I say bought you lunch while you just gave me the key. I don't know. Is that what he said? Are we supposed to get on keys? ah Yes. I was the one to help them make the rules. I don't remember. I think we're supposed to kill him probably. Oh my goodness. Do you want to have some fun?
00:52:25
Speaker
Yeah, bro. Let's have some fun. Alright, now, and fuck this. I'm just gonna quick attack and run away. Okay, so you're gonna quick attack? Yeah. Okay, so go ahead and quick attack and that'll count as an attack and then we'll roll initiative. That is cocked. I'm not attacking them, I'm running away.
00:52:46
Speaker
Oh, you're now quick attacking away. Yes. Gotcha. Okay. Go ahead and roll. You don't need to roll accuracy for a quick attack then. Okay. So you quick attack away and they are now chasing you. Perfect. He can lead them back to us. He's running, but he's screaming. Doorkeeper! Doorkeeper! You got traitors in here!
00:53:11
Speaker
You see see the ah door back there saw that. He's like, what do you mean there's traitors in here? If you kill them, I will give you a promotion. No, you can't. so sleep I will make you the keeper of the church inside doors. you'll be the man You'll manage them instead of this one outside. At this point, you would have reached where both Hikaru and Bruce are.
00:53:38
Speaker
It's just like the Ted scene. And as they... As they pass by, I... Hmm. Is Thundershock a short range move? Uh, Thundershock. Let's see. It'd be shocking if it wasn't.
00:53:57
Speaker
Thundershock is... It's special, so I would assume it has at least some range. hey Okay. Or maybe electrical? I mean, in the anime, he electrified an entire gym with it, so I don't think it gets close. Okay, um... So Hikaru, you either elective on or thundershock the artillery. I'm gonna thundershock the the artillery from a distance. Okay. And then Bruce can throw an ember at the zigzagoon.
00:54:33
Speaker
Okay, so what do I need to roll? Oh, I gotta roll for accuracy. Right, yeah, roll for accuracy. Got a 19, that'll hit. Yep. Net 20. Oh, net 20 without a crit. All right, we'll deal with Evelyn first. All right. I really hope these guys are as weak as the... 19. For accuracy. I got it, he had character sheets for him probably. For damage, 2 plus 6.
00:55:03
Speaker
is 8. And then plus Hikaru's special attack, which is 10, that makes it 18. Times 2 minus his defense. Wait, minus defense, right? 36 minus defense. Special defense. So 18 minus defense. No, no, no. I think it's attack minus defense and then the multiplier. Okay, multiplier comes last? Yes. Okay, gotcha. So you dealt 8 damage to him.
00:55:34
Speaker
so yikes nocillaryy and a trunk i got i remember hook oh and my ma was nice to damage tyrant so it's paralyzed that's right it' paralyzed Oh shit it doesn't get paralyzed okay so um paralysis I don't know if that's something we've had to deal with yet no cuz we never find this is We always have someone else fight our battles. Paralysis, you are paralyzed. Each of your turns, roll a d20.
00:56:07
Speaker
It cuts off. I don't have the full definition here. It just says, each of your turns, roll a d20. If, and that's it. Okay, I'm gonna say if you roll higher than a 10, you get to use your turn. So 50-50.
00:56:24
Speaker
So, the Octillery is paralyzed. And now it is bruised. Oh, if 10 plus you can attack, if 15 plus Paralysis is healed. Oh, gotcha. Okay, noted. I got the rest of it. What did you use again, Ember? Yeah. So if I don't one-shot this thing, it's burned.
00:56:48
Speaker
Gotcha. which one how are i How do crits work again? It's max damage plus one extra damage die. Max damage plus a damage die. Okay, so i roll so I'm doing 14 plus another d8 plus my special attack. Yep. One d8 plus 14. Six. So that's 30 total minus special defense.
00:57:16
Speaker
Alright, minus special points. I take it you're attacking the zix again? Yeah. Uh, 30 minus six. You said special? Yeah. Alright, that dealt 22 damage. And it looks extremely hurt. And it's burned.
00:57:34
Speaker
uh let me see okay so yeah it is burned i need to look at burn so all of his attacks are cut in half you are burned to take d4 damage per round so when his next turn comes around he will take burn damage and okay so that attack is halved until the burn is resolved oh that's true as well yeah your attack is cut in half uh now that was you know this surprise order is just base is no minusing it right so uh right now that was your guys this is surprise surprise attacks and now you guys get to roll into non intimidation uh what's it called initiative initiative why am i pretending to be someone else five and 19 we got a 14 total
00:58:27
Speaker
All right, that's 14. Jake, just roll higher than a zero and you're good. Two. All right, there you go. That's all we needed. 16 to 14. Your team needs to go first. So but but among yourselves, decide who gets to go first. I got a sick move I kind of want to do as I'm running away. What is it? Because I want to faint them. I'm running away without just sidestep and just deck them in the face. OK. Does that have priority? yeah no does what have priority faint no what is faint again oh faint is just the move that hits through protect and detect actually yeah it does faint takes right faint goes before quick attack okay so are you using faint done yeah i'm just trying to i can't find a faint description so i have to um it's feint
00:59:28
Speaker
I'm just scrolling through the move list right now. Oh, why yeah, I could hit ctrl F and type in faint. Oh, do you want me to read it for you? I have it pulled up. Sure, because it doesn't work for me right now. Well, hold on. Why are you searching for the move? Is it not a move you already have? No, it's I carry description. I can't figure out how to do that.
00:59:52
Speaker
Oh, hit it only hits the foe if they have protect or detect active. Oh, that's also not accurate anymore. That's only, that was taken away in like Gen 6 or something. Well, that's what our system says. Yeah, that is what needs to be updated and we'll update it. Well, I guess I won't do spaint then because it's useless. They don't got protect to help.
01:00:13
Speaker
Yeah, I was wondering, that's why I was asking you. So instead of punching them, I'll stab them with metal claw. Okay, which one are you stabbing? ah the lu moveu of The octopus. All right, go ahead and stab some calamari.
01:00:32
Speaker
What do I add on this? It's tough, right? Yeah. 15, so yeah, that hits. 15 hits. Honestly, you just gotta get above a 10 and you usually hit all your rolls. Oh, so what were you adding tough to? The attack roll, doesn't that add to it? No, it's just the strength D20. If you get higher than your accuracy. Then a 12. Yeah, a 12 will still hit. Been a while, man. Been a while. I can tell. Yeah, no, we haven't done many battles at all, anyway. Oh my goodness. 33. Okay, 33. In case you didn't know,
01:01:09
Speaker
Steel is not very effective against water, either. I don't care! I am decking all the things I'm not effective to, so let's see them. Come on, man. Okay, so with a 33? Yeah, it's minus defense, then you divide it. Alright, defense or special defense? ah Defense. Because it is just a regular attack. Okay, gotcha. Okay, that is... Physical, yeah. 19, is 9. So you dealt 9 damage to it.
01:01:38
Speaker
And it looks extremely winded now. It looks very tired. right everyone's Everyone's... No, Evelyn and Bruce don't need to go. Yeah. They're dead! They're so So, Karu is gonna go for an electro ball just to switch it up. Okay. Base damage is speed divided by...
01:02:09
Speaker
My speed divided by two. The octil- or the octil- or the zigzagoon. Which one is No, it is the octillery, right? Yeah. The octillery is paralyzed, so its speed is cut in half. Yep. So your electro ball will do extra damage.
01:02:27
Speaker
oh Really, okay. Wait. Yeah, it bases. Oh, yeah, unless it's just It says um but it says that um here it says speed divided by 2 is the base damage. Oh It's not difference in speed like it is. in Oh, so it's just worse than now that you cut it off cut speed No, uh, no, it's a her speed.
01:02:51
Speaker
herrs Yeah, all right Yeah, it doesn't base it off the opponent speed compared to your speed like this in the games. Okay. Gotcha Well, yeah, cuz I think they tried that and they determined it was too broken Yeah, well that was my strategy in like in for my strategy yeah that's why they yeah It was nuzzle and electro ball I So for me that means, for Hikaru that means it doesnt it always does strictly less damage than Thunder Shock would because Thunder Shock always does at least 7 base, but Hikaru's speed is 12 divided by 2 is 6 so... Wait, Thunder Shock is base 7? No, 1d8 plus 6.
01:03:40
Speaker
Yeah. No, no, it's going to be an extra 7. The damage base of Electro Ball would be 6. So 2d6 plus 8 for the dice roll. Yeah, 2d6 plus 8. There's no dice roll. It's just... Yeah, go to your damage chart. Yeah, the the damage base for Electro Ball is...
01:04:10
Speaker
The speed divided by 2, not the damage itself. And then you go... You have to look in the damage chart to see the damage base to get the dice roll.
01:04:25
Speaker
Do you have access to the damage chart? You should. The damage chart? Where is that? Oh, that's bad. If you don't have a damage... Yeah, doesn' I was gonna say you might have a hidden. Oh, damage base.
01:04:37
Speaker
Oh, you got it. Yeah, I know you're right. OK, so 2d6 plus eight. You're right, Eli. OK, if she hits. Yeah, if it's OK, go ahead and roll that accuracy.
01:05:02
Speaker
Seven. seven uh well what is your accuracy that might have meant i had actually uh that has it has to be to six okay yeah you're good okay so two d six plus eight we're gonna do that now ten plus eight eighteen plus
01:05:30
Speaker
Yeah. And then, yeah, plus Hikaru's special attack, which is 10, so 28. Alright, so 28 minus the special defense. So 28, that would do 28 damage, because that's minus 14 times 2. So 28 damage. Oh, that brings it down to... Well, you got some fried calamari now.
01:05:56
Speaker
moving nice so wow flo i want i want to trade the center for sandmy Wow, I feel so powerful Wow, I just killed a person Wow murder Wow, welcome to the club a car room.
01:06:18
Speaker
zi lagoon looks got yeah and at his friend who just died and he's like uh uh hey hey look um we don't have to do this if if you don't want to but it is bruce's turn so problem hey hey you're already burned yeah yeah i doubt you can really harm us that much now if you want to just give us the key and walk away I mean, I'm fine. I really hope he's on one health and the burn kills him. He reaches down to his friend's dead body, rolls it over, and grabs the keys off his belt. And he hands you some bloodstained keys. Now run your pockets. What do you mean? Give us the robes. What? Give us the robes.
01:07:14
Speaker
oh Okay, sure sure sure just leave me alone and he hands you his robes take it off the Octagon as well the octagon Sure, it's gonna be my new blankets. He gives you the octagon The octagon's blood-stained robes. ah Oh, no. Hey, at least they're red to begin with Yeah, that's pretty cool. It's got the stab wounds I put in them Also, I should let you know But by the way, and then he falls dead because he was at one HP. I knew it. I knew it. It was at one HP and burn took effect and can i search both of them. See if they got anything else. Sure. I feel like he had something important to tell us that now he died trying to tell us, but I think he's probably Russian side.
01:08:09
Speaker
Oh, I'm looting. So we have something else. You find find ten poke on each of them and you find nothing of importance. I don't have anything. okay This is just insulting money. he Throws it back on them and just let it flow on them. This is just insulting money. Just like in a copper piece in a D and&D campaign. It just falls on the ground. I might as well take the poke.
01:08:38
Speaker
All right, so Evelyn gets 20 poke. 20? You mean 10? Yeah, there was 10 on each of them. Oh. Nah, it's still insulting. Anything under 100 is just insulting. So you guys have a key ring now. Yeah. So so Bruce is going to go up and use use the key, open the door. Sure. Walter just stuffing all the cults, things into his bag.
01:09:07
Speaker
oh Yeah, we should wear those robes by the way. I'll just pack them ah Pulling them back out Great now it's like a wedding dress. It's so like it's dragging behind us so badly Okay, so you guys are going up to the doors on yeah, I Hold on. Before we go there, I can be like, it shows the key. I told you I had a key! Just a test and you failed! The key looks really angry. It's like, then why did you make me go through all of this? You are a mean person. I told you I was a undercover boss. No, you're not. You're just a dick. I'm reporting you. You're not gonna have any food for your family. I don't have a family. I'm too poor.
01:10:00
Speaker
That explains why I got this job. Good, I didn't think anyone would want you. Oh my god, just leave me alone, I'm trapped inside this door. Does he have his own key?
01:10:17
Speaker
You mean he's trapped in between his door? No, he is the door. Oh. Oh! Oh, he wasn't even a person, he was a door!
01:10:33
Speaker
walta mortal enemy is hey this way he's going so hard and d df This is why he's going so evil to him because he's a door. yeah yeah yeah Oh, yeah, because he's a door. Okay, let's back you guys. the the to Let's go guys. Cry baby. Oh mama.
01:10:55
Speaker
is jeez walter gives no fucks when it comes to doors anymore i can tell okay you guys have the key ring you guys walking up to the church then yes do we still hear the you you're not the way to you know Yes, you hear a bunch of people chanting, do you know day way? Do you know day way? Ah, man's a culture. You unlock the door and you hear the sound of Sammy screaming in pain as you see him hovering above a septagon painted on the ground. It was one of the fly. Sorry, it's not a septagon, it's a septagram.
01:11:41
Speaker
Let me go you fuckers I'm gonna I'm gonna throw you in a ditch fill a wallaboo at you and have crocodiles eat your hearts out Seeing him floating immediately like go into a tackle try to tackle him out of the septagram why do you three so get me that bloody off this you guys know just for joltik standing in a circle with a large amphora standing at the head of a pedestal reading off from a book and i throw the keys out of the air sorry what was that
01:12:38
Speaker
Bruce is still going to try to tackle Sammy out of the air. yeah okay go Go ahead and roll accuracy for tackle done. Can I just throw the McRiddle at them and ruin their boat and have it just all the grease slime on the boat? Just ruin the boat. The thrown items have an accuracy checkup 6, so go ahead and roll a D accuracy for a DC of 6.
01:13:04
Speaker
like it okay okay 12 don't need a rule to see if it it ruins his book uh no i also got a 12 uh actually hold damage roll me a d8 hammer me you okay you threw a sandwich at him
01:13:29
Speaker
eight fuck okay an eight so you hit the book and you just everyone goes silent and you just hear the slimy sound of a sandwich smearing across paper and it's just over the period of like five seconds everyone's just silently staring at you here it goes splat on the ground and their book is ruined now that's what I call fast food hey everyone stares at you
01:14:01
Speaker
Why have you interrupted our sacrifice? The dark lord will rise. And today is that day. What what happens with Bruce's tackle on Sammy? Bruce's tackle on Sammy? Oh, sorry, I forgot about that. Go ahead and roll. i you He got 12. Yeah, that's fine. Roll damage. Damage? I'm just trying to, like,
01:14:31
Speaker
i'm tackling to like get him like jump up grab him get him out of the ring kind of deal okay so you're purposefully not uh doing much trying to do a little damage yes you bounce off of a force field in the middle of the room that's not good i throw another mcgriddle at the amfros you throw the amfros not bouncing off of that That's a great question. Not organic. They don't know. They only do for people who are alive. Not an organic thing. but This is an organic only establishment. You're not alive. You can't be sacrificed. So, you're throwing more sandwiches? Yes. Okay, go ahead and move on to accuracy.
01:15:25
Speaker
Okay. um again again All right, are you what are you trying to hit him in his face or something? ah Yeah He's smack him in the face with a slimy sandwich he wipes it off his face He's like enough. This is going to end now. I have something to finish and I'm not about to be trounced.
01:15:49
Speaker
minions attack and he points at you guys and you guys suddenly become surrounded by I joltik and i need y'all to roll in and it said fuck speed initiative initiative i keep on noticing intimidation yes initiative i can't see okay i'm gonna roll all of them at once all right gotcha all right joltik rolled a 10 and the amperos
01:16:19
Speaker
who rolls an 18 what I don't think we could even beat the amfros alone so that is a 28 yeah and we're not beating that I rolled a three six nine six and where's is Sammy still up there Yeah, give him a roll. Yeah, Sammy is still up there. Give him a roll for screaming. He's not in your party here right now. He's got to scream every time. That's that's his turn. OK, so he just can't like he can't just jump out. I don't remember how many jokes, like I said, were in the circle, but I'm going with four because that seems decent. That's what Sammy is held in place by some kind of psychic force.
01:17:04
Speaker
It's termination day, boys. Hang out. I'm going to have all of the jolt to move as one Pokemon for simplicity and speed reasons. So I'm going to have them all do the same thing on their turn. Bruce, do you have a fire type move that can hit more than one of them at the same time?
01:17:21
Speaker
oh We're saying this as they're all charging us. I don't know. Contemper Flare hit multiple targets.
01:17:33
Speaker
fla say Can I just do an anime move swords with my blade and just cut all of them I was walking away or like nothing. I don't know what temple fall gray is but layer No It is a single target attack dang okay so what do you guys oh yeah dang unfortunate so you guys see is a wave of uh i think a wave is a strong word you see four joltic charging you guys as they all try and nuzzle you guys we see people big of a foot coming at us nuzzle
01:18:10
Speaker
Two of them are gonna go after Walter, who is the attacker. One's gonna go after Bruce, and one's gonna go after Hikaru. So I'm gonna roll accuracy for them. Alright, the one on Walter hits. The one on Bruce. Give those little specials. The second one on Walter hits, the one on Bruce hits, and the one on Evelyn hits, with a nat 20. Well, good thing she's electric, so it doesn't, it's half.
01:18:38
Speaker
so wait does it naturalize and now So, everyone except for Hikaru is paralyzed. Wait,
01:18:50
Speaker
does this move do damage? Yes, it is a 1d6 plus 3. I might be dead.
01:19:03
Speaker
I might die today. Kikara, sorry. Walter, out of your two attacks, you took 11 damage.
01:19:12
Speaker
Bruce, you get 9 damage. Nine, oh boy. And Kikara, you get don't six damage. I get 9 damage out of one attack. So long. 1d6 plus three max damage. Oh, wait, minus defense, right? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I forgot to add attack. I'm so sorry.
01:19:31
Speaker
ah ha alright Walter you were 11 so that's 19 minus your defense okay i take nine damage and and Bruce is taking 13 minus your defense okay so i take three damage that's my bloodline you are taking six plus four uh is 10 i i sound like i'm preschool the group math six plus four is 10 minus your defense
01:20:03
Speaker
10 so uh i might be bloodied uh almost bloody what is this for fourth edition sorry i like it i like it a lot better so do i take no damage yeah you can take no damage son I don't know if there actually is a minimum, but I'm just gonna say one's the minimum. We've always done that. Alright, one damage. Yeah, I think the game's worked that way too, like... I think so too, but... You at least do one damage. Okay. Otherwise, some fights would never do anything. And then the Ampharos is gonna go after Hikaru. And it's going to go for a... Thunder. Shocking. Geez.
01:20:51
Speaker
and they rolled an 11 with a DC of 12 so it actually missed that's a blessing so so um not to say anything when i'm surprised he went for Hikaru out of everybody considering i'm the one who threw a burger at him yeah okay cool it is now your guys's turn So question, since I hit the force field, does that count as my tackle failing?
01:21:26
Speaker
You will have to experiment to find that out. I will not give you a concrete answer, but I might think of something in the meantime. Dang. Because if so, that means my temper flare can deal double damage if it hits.
01:21:39
Speaker
What does that mean? My temper flare, if the previous move missed or failed, it deals double damage. Oh, that's right. That's right. Or you got the Ampharos. I got something I might want to do to hit again. I'm going to need a quick attack so I can go again next turn. How does quick attack work?
01:22:06
Speaker
I get priority in the next battle I go first, next initiative I go first. Next round. Okay, so it basically gives you an extra attack next turn. Yeah. Okay, yeah, we'll do that. With priority moves, if you use a priority move, it gives you an extra attack. If you use a negative priority move, it skips a turn. Okay, how do we see where the... it is to hit? Like, what's the... I've probably hit 10 away to 12. 12? Yeah, that'll hit. Yeah.
01:22:35
Speaker
what are you hitting uh the jolt tick that just under my quick attack is just punting it okay gotcha i will treat it as one entity for simplicity for every quarter of damage you guys bring it down we'll remove one
01:23:00
Speaker
33 damage. Is that fiscal? and Physical? Yeah, that's cool. 33, so that's 28 damage. Yeah, they're not and not physical people. Okay, and that was a quick attack, right? Mm-hmm. Wait, you said...
01:23:17
Speaker
um third thirty twenty eight thirty three i do some
01:23:24
Speaker
oh Okay, so what happens is you click attack and you s land on top of one of the joltics and it squishes underneath your feet and dies instantaneously. You roll into another joltic and deal most of its damage, but it does not die.
01:23:40
Speaker
i no hands on that I squished him and I just flicked the other one that jumped that was jumping at me. Flicked it with your fingers so I hit it all. like let some go like a car It just flicks them. Hikaru is also gonna go for a quick attack. Okay, cool. What are you aiming for? um Another of the jolt ticks. All right, go for it.
01:24:08
Speaker
If it's a boss fight, we got to get rid of the minions first. Yup. Yeah, I was going to try to use a fire type move to take out most of the joltics in one hit. Have you guys go for the end? Go for the boss. Oh, then I'll go for I'll go for the amphoros then. Well, OK. You should you should have told me I would I would have gone for him if you told me about that. Oh, it's fine. I'd like to attack the joltic then. Of course, just to get one of them out.
01:24:38
Speaker
That's fine. I didn't think I could take out more than three of them with one hit anyways. Well, you got one and a quarter of one. Yeah. All right. Or about so about out one fifth. So Hikaru uses quick attack. Roll a 19. OK, that'll hit. That'll hit. Yeah.
01:25:01
Speaker
And the damage is one plus six.
01:25:17
Speaker
Okay Three plus six is nine plus he cars attack which is 17 power bands. Okay, so 17 minus defense Of the M for us Oh, on the amphoross. Uh, sorry. Wait, is it 17 plus the attack or is that just an ult? No. Um, it was 9 plus 8. Alright. Oh my god. Okay, so 17 total. I forgot how much the power band is broken.
01:26:06
Speaker
we do i do and tikaru does yeah hold on one second give me one second actually no it's the since this isn't can i'm so tempted just to bash the guitar over their head but now you said there we go that's the correct stats okay 17 it does four damage so And it almost looks like you did nothing to it e Okay Still standing strong. You might want to target the amphoros And just leave the joltix to me because I got nothing for the amphoros. Is that for quick attack? Okay, that was has then everyone or did bruscoe yet i don't remember no i got that's it i okay gosh bruce you do you got to do the joltix
01:27:01
Speaker
Yeah, I'm taking out these jolt ticks here. I'm gonna try that temper flare see what happens, right? Okay, go for dollarlare what does paralysis give us again? Oh it minus it so it really doesn't matter how it halves your speed and oh fuck you guys have uh I do i'm not gonna have you do it bruce because I didn't have the other two do it But starting next turn you guys will have paralysis That's a 19 Alright, that'll hit it. That burns, doesn't it? No, temper flare unfortunately does not have a burn chance. but So go it is yeah what so ahead roll 2d8 plus 10 times 2. Oh, so I think it's, it doubles the damage base. At least it does. You add everything up, a minus it, then double the damage. Let's see, so it adds a damage base of 8. Yeah, the the damage temper flare, yeah. o
01:28:01
Speaker
Are you serious? That's fun. Yeah. cause so we're gonna die and then you guys and So I have, I have to, uh, I have to verify this for a reason. I'm going to explain in a minute. Um, I'm scared. Yeah. The move doubled if the user's previous move failed.
01:28:28
Speaker
It doesn't have that in here. No, because it's it's a new move. So the move isn't fully in the system yet. Temple flair, temper, temper, temper. OK.
01:28:46
Speaker
okay number players damaged be link move on the previous sunday last move missed failed to effect so the targets or is prevented from being used due to an effect ra te flares power is doubled from seventy five to one so that is the equivalent of the damaged being not the damage base being done no what it um one because the power is the damage base no you're right there was a way he hold on i wanted took go like if how you doing ah audience okay so the way the damage base is calculated is it takes the power and divides it by 10 so it would yeah it would go from 75 power to 150 power which would give it a damage base of 15 which drum roll please I can't find it
01:29:39
Speaker
It's 4 D10 plus 20. I seriously can't find my damage chart. There it is. Yeah. Yeah, it is 4 D10, or sorry, 4 D10 plus 20. So that is a hit. What are you, uh, you were aiming at the Joltix? Yeah. Alright. I'm just looking at these. So go ahead and roll 4 D10 plus 20.
01:30:03
Speaker
i'm just looking at this damage dice chart like holy fuck the i know it's crazy the reason i had to verify this is because if we bumped it up to a 16 that would have been a 5d 10 plus 20 damaging move yeah well the i should go is 8d 12 plus 80 so technically explosion would be a 6d 12 plus 35 by the way Wait, what? Is that saying that's a 200 base power? Yeah, yep. So I rolled a six, seven, nine and ten. So that'll be what, 15, 25, 32, 52, 62 minus special defense.
01:30:52
Speaker
62 minus special defense is pretty high. 61 minus special defense. 61 minus 5 is 56. Does it make a difference?
01:31:05
Speaker
I swear the thing still only takes one damage. Um, so... No, and I'm annihilating the joltix. So, uh, well yeah, joltix. the joltix not only has been killed but have been evaporated and their bodies incinerated into ash you have taken their health value down to over double thermax or down to negative thermax hp they have been eviscerated off of this earth entirely they are gone dead deceased nothing
01:31:40
Speaker
So, now it is Ampharos' turn. Nope. Quick attack. Kick attack makes a good round. No, that take affects the next round. No, it should be next round. This is the next round. No, we've been doing quick attack always takes priority, right? Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't priority to another move next turn. We just, we were last, so now it's a new round, so we go first.
01:32:03
Speaker
The Ampharos didn't go. Did it We just finished Bruce's turn. We just finished Bruce's turn. That's why we're talking about temper flare. Bruce just went.
01:32:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah. So now it makes you go. on Yeah. Your guys do round. So it would be our turn. Not the infros because the enemy team is above us. But we use quick attack. We should be able to enemy team next. And then to be set back to attack, gives you quick attack, gives you an extra turn next round. Otherwise you could just continuously spam quick attack and get infinite turns. If you just use quick attack.
01:32:44
Speaker
Quick attack isn't broken. You'll get no extra if we use quick attack turn we we'd go first then we'd attack then yes go and on x then we go back x under them On your next turn you will be you will be first
01:33:02
Speaker
my Okay, so we need to establish how priority moves work. This is what I'm suggesting this weekend an amend us if you use a priority move Then next turn you get an extra turn but the person with the prior to move always goes first and it's vice versa with negative priority moves Do you guys have a different suggestion
01:33:30
Speaker
I mean we were just doing it a different way from like from how the game how the yeah I know it's uh I know it's because we're doing this new fluid uh battle system to try and speed things up but if you guys want to treat um prior dimension a different way then we can just discuss that yeah that's true because that doesn't really work as well with the fluid battle system exactly yeah i was thinking like right were the way i had it in my mind the way i had in my mind was like um is like whoever has the highest uh whoever's using the highest priority moves go first and then within that bracket it's the initiative order and then like normal priority it
01:34:22
Speaker
It's the yeah but i still the initial order. i That, but we don't get our turns. when it comes up down but you But then that would make priority useless because you could just turn and decide to go first anyway.
01:34:37
Speaker
would like I would say there could be a one turn cooldown and you using your priority move. That's what I was suggesting. So you get an extra turn next turn. Oh, I just meant you couldn't use it again until next turn.
01:34:52
Speaker
is honestly what Dakota's suggesting is better than what we were thinking because we were thinking as long as they limit it to like you only get one bonus turn per turn yeah that doesn't matter let's just do it the yeah we will have the discussion later and two attacks Dakota's way also what happens to their speed when they get paralyzed uh they get it gets cut in half So their speed value just gets cut in half rounded down. so But what does that, does that affect the initiative order?
01:35:30
Speaker
no actually i wonder if it does for you for this um if we were in the lead no if we were in the lead maybe but not now i think they got initiative of like 28 you guys have an initiative of like yeah 16 or something and you guys i would say we'd have to keep track of our role role we made for the initiative then if we get paralyzed we um we got cut it in half and then re-add everything But that wouldn't make any difference because you guys would still be swapping, eyes are weighed, no matter your priority moves, or no matter your initiative. And I was talking if you're paralyzed, just like when we rolled for that, then if one of us get paralyzed, we take out their roll they made, cut it in half, then put it back in and see if the initiative changes.
01:36:15
Speaker
It wouldn't matter because the way initiative works is it's good team, bad team, good team, bad team. So it doesn't really matter then. It's got to be a lot of changes here. It wouldn't make a difference. It would still be good team, bad team, good team, bad team. All right. So there's something matters at the beginning of battle. Otherwise some effects are useless. Right. So we need to work out priority moves. But yeah, with Dakota's idea here, it's it's more like the the way Legends Arceus handles it.
01:36:44
Speaker
wait That's what I was kind of base. All right. Yeah, you know, I'm bo you're using light moves You might have a chance to get a higher attack or an extra attack. Yeah i like the time the um father As long as you limit it to you only get one of those per turn So you're not using quick attack and they use two quick attacks next turn and then four and then you know, yeah, no No, we don't like legends Arceus legends Arceus maxes you out at two attacks, and then I use faint Well faint would mean you would skip your next turn no well no Anyway, to forever so come on bring it on in for us
01:37:23
Speaker
Ampharos goes for another thunder on Walter. Why me? He's rolled at least a 12 and he rolls a 12. Does he need beat or is it defender? I do defender. No, yeah I think they just changed that recently.
01:37:42
Speaker
Well, if you're talking about 5E, the attacker wins. We said this like a million times in episode one. I just remember this, like arc 1 episode where I was like, meets, beats, meets, beats. Well, I wasn't there. I remember that. I think we've been doing meets, meets.
01:37:59
Speaker
Okay, we're gonna go Okay, so i'm dead it's going to go Not that character sheet this one. All right thunder is 3d 10 plus plus special defense
01:38:32
Speaker
Hold on, I gotta check something real quick. So what was it? 51 minus your special, defense. All right, that puts me in negative my max health. Actually, no, I'm negative 10 right now. It's negative that plus ten um plus another negative 10. Okay, so the altar has been eviscerate. Wait a second.
01:38:58
Speaker
Wait a second, does Walter have any Reviver Seeds on him? Nope. Okay, can I throw him one? So before you do that, a sequence of events happens. You see Walter have a seizure on the ground, and then he stops moving. And he is completely dead. Not fainted, dead. but Suddenly, you guys see a wisp of smoke come out of his mouth, and you see the ghost of Walter.
01:39:30
Speaker
I'm a ghost y'all. Editor's note whenever someone dies I have to put a wobbly effect over their face. I might do that actually. Why did you let me die Hikaru? Take I just said I would have the editor put a a filter over that it's gonna be double wobbly now.
01:39:52
Speaker
You did this to me. No, I didn't. I tried to save you. I'm joking. I'm pulling your leg as he pulls off his ghost leg. Okay, brother.
01:40:08
Speaker
so How do I work now? Am I just out of combat? like i Can I even hit him? You're out of combat, but you can still interact. Not physically, but you can talk. I have got a message from your god.
01:40:25
Speaker
Oh, you're talking to Dan for us? Yeah. And what message is that? Only a true believer would sacrifice himself. That is lies for only true believers. What? Wait. No, that is not how this works. I am the leader. I must sacrifice my littles. But and only ah only the best sacrifice will bring him forward. You're going to insult him by giving him this trash of a munchlax.
01:40:55
Speaker
He points his thumb back, which is like, this guy's a little juicier than I am. I think he'll make for a better, tastier sacrifice. Wow. You're fat shaming. Damn. All right. Can I just try something? I just want to try something. Sure. I try to possess him. No.
01:41:17
Speaker
man Oh, you're so stupid to be possessed. I could see why you God thinks you're a failure. No, I've been given protection for my lord. um No, he just ain't your a little baby wimp. Shut up. Make me. You can't do shit.
01:41:36
Speaker
Plugs as he hit his ears with his fingers cuz he la la la la la la sing a happy song He's just kind of knowing him in it after life Okay, so what are you guys doing? Yeah, I think I'm gonna still try to lob an electro ball at him Okay, I'm gonna try to walk by revival at him I'll lob it at the coast
01:42:06
Speaker
yeah go ahead and roll accuracy for that uh fill in for um and account i rolled an 18 and 18 will hit two
01:42:34
Speaker
16 oh, I didn't have an idea. I don't know if I work special attack total yeah minus special defense is 14 So that does 14 damage No, it's not very effective all so seven damage yeah ah was I do have a question Okay, got it. All right. Yeah, um, come on to fly through the wall the barrier, you know, oh not out of The barrier you can try we You smash head first into the barrier, but it doesn't make a stump. It makes a thump
01:43:21
Speaker
Because you're a ghost. What the fuck is this logic? I mean, uh-uh-uh. So Hikaru's thunder or, uh, electro ball hits the amphoros and he looks at you and he says, ouch.
01:43:39
Speaker
Okay, the current does get another attack because of the quick attack last turn. Right, that is true. and you So you guys can choose who goes first. Yeah, but I think Bruce is gonna go for another temper flare and ah see if he can move actually first. I like how no one cares I'm a ghost.
01:44:04
Speaker
Oh, he's a ghost. Cool. All right. Oh, he's a ghost. All right. Never mind. Who cares? Back to battle. OK, I got a 17, so I'm not paralyzed anymore. Oh, OK. There you go. I broke through with paralysis. Oh, no, the paralysis is doing so much. No one is paralyzed anymore. Now for the temper flare accuracy roll.
01:44:32
Speaker
Her house would only really matter if it's a sneak um ah a sneak attack before they get the speed rolls off. Well, you have a 50-50 of just not attacking that turn, so it's actually a pretty big deal. Yeah. I got a 12, so that'll hit. Yep, that'll hit. And this time it's just a 2v8 plus 10, unfortunately. All right.
01:45:06
Speaker
and like go for and so that's 20 30 physical fire damage physical or no 29 physical fire damage damage
01:45:31
Speaker
all right now uh... you look at the car can go and his leg is broken you hit his leg and he tripped and fell and hit his shin on one of the stairs and broke he screams out in pain as he looks at a hikaru who's going next wow you suck at being a leader shut up Lucid says what? Oh, you don't need to to say that. I know you're a loser. Be quiet. I'm not listening to your shit anymore. It's your failure. No, I'm not. Okay. Can I not use quick attack again? Yeah, you can't use whatever you want. Oh, okay. Well, because... Okay, so quick attack is gonna give me a... You can only use one, so you can't use it both.
01:46:25
Speaker
It's... It's gonna give me a type of... It's... It's not gonna have a type disadvantage. No, it won't. No, electric on electric is neutrally sick. No, it's normal on electric because it's electric. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were saying... Yeah, electric is not very effective against electric. Okay, gotcha. Those same types don't always... They confuse me. Okay, gotcha.
01:46:56
Speaker
Okay, and then I roll a 6. It had to beat a 6, so... It needs to be established that earlier. Okay, so that'll hit. And we roll a d8. I think I've been using the aura all wrong. my My ability. We'll get to that in a second. and So, Hikaru rolled a 3 plus 6, that's a 9. Plus Hikaru's attack. 17. That's physical normal damage. Alright, 17 total. 17, so that'll do 4 damage.
01:47:43
Speaker
And he is looking extremely beat up at this point. And it is now the Ampharos turn and he says, Enough! This is enough! I am done with this. He limps back over to his pedestal and picks up a dagger.
01:47:59
Speaker
uh what entire walk over there i am just annoying him in front i'm like you suck he's attempting he's attempting to wave the dagger through you as he then walks over to sammy and plunges the knife into his chest whoa whoa whoa as soon as he starts walking towards sammy bruce is going to shoot a number at him go for it no accuracy hi ghost metal claw him
01:48:29
Speaker
well wait No, I couldn't even 16 all right little damage Dakota I couldn't even get in front of him. I'm just annoying him and things just get hit bonked by the wall as he walks through right yeah one d eight Plus six It's an eight and eight that's 24 can our middle claw the barrier fire damage. All right, so that's 14 special I Was that what you said? 24 special fire damage. 24 special. Okay. Gotcha. So that that'll bring him down. Holy shit. That brings him. So he stops momentarily. Well, hold on. Does that burn him?
01:49:19
Speaker
uh no because it was only a 16 sadly okay so he falters in his step as he goes for the dagger but it doesn't quite stop him it entirely he loops over he's like dragging on the ground so he grabs the curved dagger can i metal claw him like try to or just metal claw the barrier a 19 a 19 will hit him with the barrier now I'm scared doesn't matter that scares me okay not bad not bad again so you deal 33 damage but you forget that you're a ghost and it doesn't do anything so does what about to the barrier
01:50:17
Speaker
The barrier takes 33 ghost damage, but man, unfortunately the barrier is normal type. Isn't that just annoying? So the barrier takes zero damage.
01:50:30
Speaker
Well, technically it would take 3.3 because it takes 10% damage from immunity to Mr. Denzel. Fuck you. Walter goes, fuck this, and just flies away. Fuck this life, I'm done. I'm done. I think Walter's gonna wanna stick around. So, the dagger raves. Wait a second, did you say that the dagger is made of psychic energy? No, I said it was made of steel. I think I said that. Anyways, that's stabby. You said it was a psychic barrier.
01:50:59
Speaker
Yup, that damn ferocity is keeping up. Okay. How's it a normal type? I don't know because you're a ghost and you don't deal damage to anything. I was just making jokes. Oh, it doesn't matter what you would have done. Because fuck you. That's why. Okay. Stabby, stabbing. I've said it like a thousand times. Walter, no, Walter Sammy gets stabbed in the chest and has blood pools on the ground.
01:51:28
Speaker
It fills the cracks in the septagram on the ground. And you hear the Ampharos, you hear the Ampharos say, do you know de wae, as he stabs himself in the chest, mixing his blood with some of his blood. Huh, you did listen to me. You guys feel a little bit of a rumbling. Oh no. The castle starts to shake, and the whole damn building explodes.
01:52:00
Speaker
Cool. Where's an altar in front of you? Stands the Titan Giratina. Giratina? You mean Gira? Whatever. Hey, Giratina. You don't know what it is. I know. I want someone to make an old A real ghost perception. There we go. oh someone i like All of us are just one.
01:52:32
Speaker
all but one together oh you got a one no all of us are just one of us oh all of you all right not much different i roll fun five a five 19 plus two Alright, a 10 is all they needed. So, you see what you don't know is the god of antimatter standing before you. Wearing a cowboy hat with wheat sticking out of his mouth. Holding a violin.
01:53:10
Speaker
and he looks down at Walter and he says boy let me tell you what I guess you didn't know it but I'm a fiddle player too and if you'd care to take it there I'll make a bet with you now you play a pretty good fiddle boy but give the devil his due I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul because I think I'm better than you my name is Walter and it might be a sin but I'll take the bet and you're gonna regret because I'm the best I'm has ever been Now, it is time for a playoff. It is time for a fiddling duel. My ghost, my ghost guitar appears. Your ghost guitar appears in front of you and you get to play a ghostly song of your choosing, your perception, her performance based on that. Hold on, I gotta think of something.
01:54:02
Speaker
ah like Oh, I got it. I got a perfect song for him. The fiddle, the gold, the fuck. The fiddle the devil is using is made of gold, solid gold. ah He's going to sing Oogie Boogie, but. he Well, well, well, what have we here? The god, ah the god of antimatter. Oh, I'm really scared. So you're the one everyone's talking about.
01:54:32
Speaker
You're joking. Oh, believe me. You and I are going to have plenty of time together. Well, I am also the king of hell, which is certainly where you are going to be going when I'm done with you. I knew that since I was born. Oh, wait. I have a contract saying, yo, Brad, be going down to hell with me when I'm done with you. Now let's have a fill off.
01:54:59
Speaker
go ahead play songs see if you can beat me um should have had this ready but i don't okay i don't know we were in fiddle song contest uh
01:55:22
Speaker
wow i was not expecting this um gotta put that guitar to good use finally yeah but i don't have any good songs pick any song any song pick a song any song uh thank god i'm a country boy there you go good old john denver
01:55:52
Speaker
Alright, so go ahead and roll performance.
01:56:06
Speaker
that's nothing. Okay, that's... 16. Uh, 16? Ooh, not bad. That's pretty good. Alright. Yeah, but it's the god of a country boy, so he's probably got a massive modifier.
01:56:21
Speaker
Alright, so you go ahead and play this song and the devil is nodding his head like he's impressed. While you're playing this song, he runs up his bow and he plays Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. Wait, I have a question. On 19! Are all the Rorshippers around us cheering like it's a concert? Like it's a fiddle on? You killed all the Worshippers. What? I killed one! Well, two, three. You killed all the Zoltics.
01:56:51
Speaker
and the What about all the townspeople? There's no one else around you guys at the moment. All the townspeople left apparently. they didn't They were not true believers.
01:57:07
Speaker
The devil looks at you like, not bad, not bad. Is that all you got? Because I've got a lot more than that. Go ahead, go ahead, I'll give you another try. Beat me, beat me if you can.
01:57:21
Speaker
a okay all right sure kind of one oh no nevermind right bruce doesn't buy this one to keep no point in having bruce try stay out of this bruce yeah you can do this vulture yeah i would have got old songs ready if i knew we were going to be doing this
01:57:47
Speaker
I don't know if you listen to Country or not, but I love World Country. I am a farmer. Of course I listen to it. There's one song, by the way, if you pick this song, we'll give you advantage. I just want to point that out. What song is that? Man, guess we'll never know.
01:58:08
Speaker
Small Town Road. Small Town Road or Old Town Road? Old Town Road, my bad. Old Town Road. Okay.
01:58:17
Speaker
I'm gonna drive until I can't know Okay, go ahead and roll for performance on that holy shit 17 All right. All right a 17 devil not again. He's like, all right. All right. Not bad. Not bad I keep forgetting. I have a country accent now i'm gonna play a good old song you might recognize called desperado by the eagles And he gets a 13. He's like, oh fuck, I broke one of my strings. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And he attempts to play through the whole song while having only a three strings. So he Paganini's it? Paganini's it, sure. Yeah, so he's like, all right, fine, fine, you got me on this one, but we got one more round. Fiddle of gold, could be just yours. Or your soul could be mine, he says, with fire lighting through his eyes.
01:59:13
Speaker
Devil went down to Georgia.
01:59:20
Speaker
Sure. Devil went down to Georgia. I'll play that. What's a Georgia? I know what's a Georgia. The devil went down to outcast. I was looking for a soul steal. Did I take it that way? I got rolled.
01:59:39
Speaker
Yeah, I was going to say I'm waiting on you to roll. I didn't get advantage. Nope. Man. OK. Roll really bad, but I only got 11. Oh, 11. I got to make sure this is the correct one. He's got plus 10. All right. He's like, ha. That's all you got. Oh, I feel so bad for you. And he decides to play. Well.
02:00:09
Speaker
Let's play this one. I'm not even gonna tell you what it is. And he plays the song and you guys recognize it immediately as Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver. And he rolls with advantage. Why'd I listen to you, Eli? I was gonna play that. Unfortunately, well, he got a 15. He got a 10 and a 15. He was like, nobody can beat that song. I can't remember if I have a country accent. I got one more song for you, brother.
02:00:37
Speaker
No, you don't! That was the final round! Three rounds, you know how it goes. Everything comes in pairs of three. No, no, no, no, no! What? It was five of your minions should be best out of five. Alright, fine. Two more rounds. Best out of three, but... Alright. I get everyone's souls, if you lose. I can't really assign those souls over, so I can't really make that deal.
02:00:59
Speaker
Well, I'm the devil. I could sign their souls over if I'm so wish. I am the bringer of death. Do you see how big I am? I could crush you guys with just white hoe. Time to start praying, Arceus. All right. I play. All right. All right. But if I do lose or if I win, you make me your prince because I want to sing better. What? You couldn't ask. You're having Sammy back.
02:01:30
Speaker
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and Sammy back. If we win, we get Sammy back and you, uh, give me a bunch of who powers to become the best musician in the world. I said you got, you will get the Golden Fiddle and fine. If you beat it, I'm taking more from you. If you want me to sweeten the deal for this best of five, I'll bring your little buddy here to back to life, but that ain't ever going to happen.
02:01:52
Speaker
Are you trying to rhyme with everything where you say? No, I'm not. It was not intended. Oh, it sounds like it. All right. I play. Hey, brother. Hey, brother. by who I don't recognize that one. Oh, you don't. Oh, I got to get the artist. I thought everyone knew this song. Not. No. Is that an Avicii? Oh, yeah. Avicii.
02:02:14
Speaker
posh i don't know i know who a beach you is on and of us It's hey brother there's an endless road to rediscover No, I don't know that one. All right, I'll roll it and people who are no songs will listen to it That's how you should do respect Nat 20 Nat 20 is an instant win. He's in shock by the amount of fiddling you're doing you're fiddling so hard your fiddle meter is all the way up and And he's like, oh my, what the, I've never heard someone play that song before. Holy crap. And five, five, five, five. And he goes and tries to play a coat of many colors by Dolly Parton. And she rolls a 14. He's like, five, five, you got this one. Last one. That's it.
02:03:11
Speaker
to do looking through my song So what's the what's the tally now? I'm trying to think actually I don't remember. It's time. It's two to two. Is it two to two? Yeah. Okay. Time. Last round is decisive. Yeah. Making it real suspenseful here.
02:03:38
Speaker
So I have a song where I don't know if it's going to be able to play. Oh crap. House of memories. House of memories? Okay. Panic at the disco. Okay.
02:03:56
Speaker
That's right! You don't do this music! 19. What did you get? 19, oh crap. So again, he's very impressed and he's gonna go and play, uh, let's go Rose Garden by Lynn Anderson. If he beats me, I've still got one more card up my sleeve. She got a 19! Holy crap! It's like, mmm, mmm, this is a very tough one, tough one, tough one. One more, one more. We'll call that one a tie.
02:04:24
Speaker
All right, all right, all right, all right, I got one more song. Viva la vida. Viva la vida again.
02:04:34
Speaker
16. All right, it's 16. He is going to... Roll under a 10, please. You haven't rolled under a 10 once. All right, and he has... So he's going to try When You Say Nothing at All by Alison Cross. And he rolled a three.
02:04:53
Speaker
yes break in the middle of the song he's like no it's not fair no it's an impossible for no and he starts sinking into the ground from whence he came back into the septagram until his face is fully submerged and he is sinking back into the pits of hell you you want to hear my next song if i couldn't win with that what fresh pence and bel-air oh god not that again no this is a story all about hell hey it makes sense use walter not walter god damn it uh so i need i need the two people who are left alive to roll perception no way you're supposed to be bringing me back alive as well
02:05:48
Speaker
we'll see fact rolling fives again buy seven total seven i rolled a nine plus two eleven perfect i was looking for a ten you guys seen the book the uh the ampharos was chanting out of it's now glowing and it starts flipping to a very specific page and it says revival ritual whoa it's black clover
02:06:18
Speaker
The book reads and you can see existing plain English. It says, it says, place the blood of two of living, bring back the two from dead. Um, I got eviscerated.
02:06:37
Speaker
Wait, so do we have to put ourselves or? You're going to push Walter's ashes in there and it'll just have to do. Yeah, you eviscerated me. I couldn't. There's no blood. And also, it does say blood of the living. So I don't think we're not living off the blood of the living. Two of the people that were dead. Bruce, that's us.
02:07:03
Speaker
Yeah, guess you know, this is a very time crunchy ritual because sooner or later there won't be a blood in a body. So I was just kind of through my uh, by the way, I was pulling from my country playlist, but it would have been really funny if if he did god bless the usa by lee greenwood blust outcast region well at least That is so funny
02:07:29
Speaker
he just sings that about hell god bless the hell i own god bless the hell is over okay yeah so it asks for the blood of the two the blood of two of living and the blood of two of dead or DNA because i am just ash it's an either or option sweep up walter's ashes and dump it on the pentagram septagram oh oh we was If blood of two living or blood of two dead? I'm just gonna say his ashes will do since he got eviscerated. Oh. Then we can take some of the joltix ashes too. You could, but then you would need more living. More living people. Wait. I don't think we want to bring the joltix back, do we? Oh, okay. Repeat your god, now I'm your god. Bow down. Okay, so yeah, we put
02:08:30
Speaker
wait okay so we put walter's ashes and then we put a few drops of our blood in there and then they come back right do we use two two wait where's that where's we use the amphrose's knife to cut ourselves yeah okay and you push walter's ashes in yeah okay as i take the emperors out said yeah you push the emperors out sammy's blood is still pooling in the middle don't do this i got i'm a ghost this is ah sick i love this you feel your ghostly dust being sucked back into your body that somehow materializes stop just sucking me oh that's a clip and i do not consent
02:09:23
Speaker
it's
02:09:27
Speaker
hat I know I'm a ghost, but that doesn't mean you get permission. Right, okay. ah
02:09:41
Speaker
and Put that in cold chat. Walter wakes up like he was in a bad nightmare, and so does Sammy. Yo, here's what makes it worse. Here's what makes it worse. All my items are gone, so I'm just a bear naked. So you're normal? I'm just my fur, because I don't got anything, because I all got it. What, did it also bring back all my items? So I'm just nothing. I was just trying to think of a fur-less reality. Oh, no. I didn't realize that's what you were talking about.
02:10:17
Speaker
a No, your fur was incinerated with your body. Oh no. Okay, so Walter and Sammy wake up from what looks like a deep sleep and Chicago and Bruce, you feel tons of energy leave your body and you guys feel utterly exhausted.
02:10:42
Speaker
What? What the hell? What was that?
02:10:50
Speaker
Where's the next Pokestop? Or not Pokestop, make ah mc griddles. I wanna make griddle.
02:10:56
Speaker
ah yeah Here you go. oh Take it from my bag. Stuff's head and baggy just starts eating them in there. I need somebody in her bag. I'll do that since they're tired. Okay.
02:11:19
Speaker
um um 16 okay i was looking for a five welter your head is resting on a fiddle of solid gold with all the strings broken ah okay i try to reattach fix them you try and move the strings around but they bend but they do not reattach because it is metal
02:11:51
Speaker
Hold on, I just had a crazy thought. What if Evelyn or Hikaru used her electric powers on Walter and Walter used his metal claws as a welder? now would just My would be stuck on it. That is not a great idea.
02:12:08
Speaker
i know remove part your That's how welding works. I could never put my claws away. Your claws would be attached. And he'd also be welding the strings onto the guitar, or the fiddle. They say he's so good at music, he's attached to his guitar. His 5,000 pound guitar. Oh, well, I guess I'm just going to sell this. So you guys also, with a 16 or whatever the hell you rolled, you guys see a bunch of cult members standing around us.
02:12:48
Speaker
oh Bow down to your new God! You see, one of the ah one of the members comes up and he's like, new leaders. What shall we do now?
02:13:02
Speaker
How about we not sacrifice anything to the God of the Underworld? Sounds like a good start. Then what shall we do? For the God requires a sacrifice. Get the door over here.
02:13:18
Speaker
One of the cult members, uh, goes out, grabs the gate, and lifts it over his head, and throws it in front of you. At your feet. Well, look who we have here! I do anything, I swear!
02:13:35
Speaker
We were not even part of it, and you let us in! I can't let them have someone like that in our cult! I know, I'm a failure, I'm a failure. i'm going to Please let me out of this haunted prison. I'll just i'll just go.
02:13:52
Speaker
Looks at the crowd. Are you not entertained? What shall it be? Puts his thumbs up. put Thumbs up like a gladiator and starts moving it back and forth up and down. Seeing what they cheer for most. The cultist is like, what are you doing?
02:14:10
Speaker
I don't know. This is fun. I could tell. I might be going that power crazy. I just defeated the devil. We just defeated the devil. That is true. Well, the cult leaders are like, we shall rebuild and we will erect a statue in your honor. Make this a cult town of music.
02:14:36
Speaker
Me music? whattic What exactly is me music? that you know the god do you love love playing it before me I'm assuming you mean music not music or whatever the hell you said music music we will erect a statue of this and we will place the solid gold guitar on top it'll be a statue of your face defeating the god of the underworld for you are stronger than the gods hold on he holds out his McGriddle this is now one of your holy artifacts
02:15:10
Speaker
ah attack like yo Holy McGriddle everybody praise the griddle And i also see got one of my this episode This is where we're gonna this episode you guys are now cult leaders in cult town in culty town and Walter is having a statue erected of him with a McGriddle and a golden the word you just said does not work out well with what we just had for a second what rhyme intended you wreck
02:15:48
Speaker
What? Oh, did I run something by accident? No, no, I'm just it's it's my it's my um It's my head thinking of what I just said before that made you laugh and what you just said Okay, okay. Thank you all for listening. Uh, I Real I'm very curious to see what songs and I think of he's now Australian Oh why So yeah, we'll see you guys next time. Thanks for joining us on this special episode. Uh, we'll see you guys next time Hello everyone and thank you for listening to this midsection where I should say in the section Uh, not much to say here if you want to check out our discord go check it out linked in the description say with our patreon
02:16:42
Speaker
As for music today, we have Viridian Forest, Lavender Town, Deoxys Appears, and Battle. Deoxys theme from Pokemon Fire Red and Leaf Green. And we also have Sharon's theme from Pokemon Black and White. And that is all. Have a happy Halloween. Goodbye.
02:16:58
Speaker
bye