Transcript
Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome to a path through time. My name is Dakota, your are PM, your DM, your GM. And sitting to my left is somebody who still has to do their laundry.
Speaker: Yes, that's me, Evelyn. I definitely 100% true. Um, and sitting to my left is someone who, um, well, just moved to Jupiter.
Speaker: Yep. Jupiter. Uh, You'd be surprised at how good the internet is on Jupiter. I'm gonna attribute it to the fact that I'm the only one here.
Speaker: So get all of the internet for the entire planet. And that makes it strong enough to transmit all the way back to Earth. And that's how I can bring you this recording.
Speaker: Wait, hold on. When you have a delay of like eight minutes or like ten minutes... Uh, no, because the internet is actually so good, the signal gets to move faster than light and break all of the laws of physics.
Speaker: Or maybe there's a server on Jupiter. It's Earthlink. Listen, we could just be like Star Wars. It's little hologram.
Speaker: Yep, I'm Eli, by the way, and sitting, uh, let me... real Real quick here, look up how far away Jupiter is from Earth.
Speaker: he would never figure it out. So, sitting approximately miles away is someone who is currently binging as many godzilla movies as he can Okay, first of all, I was watching King Kong movies.
Speaker: I was actually watching King Kong movies.
Speaker: It's me, Jake, ja or as you know, Walter. Walter. Walter.
Speaker: They can't get away with this, Walter.
Speaker: So, quick disclaimer for this episode, this is the first time I've recorded after moving, so the current setup is little bit scuffed. If the audio is a little bit off, ah I apologize for that until I get something solid figured out. I hope you don't hear any dumb sparking in this episode, but we did do some preventive measures for that, so hopefully that's all good.
Speaker: um And with that being said, i don't think I have anything else to say. So everybody, take out your D4s and let us roll for recap. Where's my D4? Well, it's been like... Obviously, it's been like months since we recorded. So my D4... My dice are scattered all over the apartment. And my D4 is underneath this table.
Speaker: So I have to go dive down and get it.
Speaker: I swear I keep losing people and finding a different one that lost a long time ago. Is this just the section of the show where everyone goes and locates their dice? I should have all the back. I'm just finding some.
Speaker: The funny thing is, have each of my sets and dice in a separate little pouch and they never move from their spot on my desk next to my laptop.
Speaker: So my dice are always just right there whenever I need them. So I rolled a four. Okay. We got a four. have not rolled yet.
Speaker: got one. What? Four.
Speaker: four Four? Okay, I got a two. Nobody matched with me, therefore I have to do the recap this time. So, the last time on a pass-through time... Uh, fuck. Last time was our Halloween episode. So, ah you guys entered the spooky forest, and you guys...
Speaker: You guys entered the spooky forest at night for some fucking reason. And you guys encountered... oh what was it? The little gremlin.
Speaker: You guys encountered a little gremlin. more grim. ah Morgroom, yeah, was a Morgroom. You guys encountered a Morgroom who was running a kind of a booth in the middle of the forest. ah Nothing else around you is just a booth in the middle of the forest.
Speaker: And they offered you guys a deal. They would give you guys a curse in exchange for a blessing. I think they also offered, like, ah I'll take gold or something valuable, but...
Speaker: Nope. The fun option is curse. guess curse is fun. So, you guys traded curse for a blessing. And in this case, the curse was that at any point in this campaign, I can turn any of- individually, any of your roles, I can turn into a nat1 at will.
Speaker: One time per person. The entire campaign. ah The blessing was you guys received- Do you guys have the official name of it? I don't have my notes.
Speaker: Uh, it's like the deck of multiple objects or something. Oh, sorry. Multiple objects. Yes. It was something. What was it? Eli, you have it in your bag, don't you?
Speaker: I thought it was a deck of many possibilities. Oh yeah, that's it. It might be the deck. Two good ones. Yeah. So you guys decided to test out the deck of many possibilities. We're going to call it for now. um Also known as the Technicolor Dream Deck.
Speaker: What is that? i am not familiar with this. you know You don't know the um Joseph's Technicolor dream coat or whatever? No, who's Joseph and why is he in Technicolor?
Speaker: Don't worry about it, it's a musical. It'd be very long to explain. So, you guys decided to test out the deck, and you guys pulled out a card.
Speaker: ah You guys ended up receiving, what was it, 10 jewels each worth 5,000 gems? 15. Fuck me. 15,000 poke?
Speaker: It's written down somewhere. It was 15 gems worth 10,000 each. Wait, wait yeah the notes are in my, hold on, the notes are in my, it's literally right here. butda professionals people 15 jewels each worth 10,000 poke called your feet so apparently you guys must have rolled a 16 for that that's what it got written down in my and what are you guys didn't pick two cards did you nope we only did the one was going to say I'm looking at my notes and ah only number 16 is written down as used
Speaker: Okay, so, uh, okay, anyway, um, so, you guys got the Deck of Many Possibilities, an extremely powerful deck which, with each card pool, can literally change the entire course of the campaign. So I'm excited to see if you guys do anything with that, because that is a very fun item I've given you guys. So, ah you guys just gained about 150,000 Poké, which is going to severely undercut the entire economy of this game, so that'll be fucking amazing. Like, 150,000? 150,000? 150,000!
Speaker: ah hundred and fifty gym personson cage You guys are absolutely rich. So, like usual, Walter banks most of the money. he's bringing in the money for the team.
Speaker: Yes. So, you guys might actually be able to buy some of those bags that I've been begging you guys to get. Nah.
Speaker: Okay, ah so after you guys received the deck of many possibilities was so bad to call the deck of many things The deck of many possibilities you guys continued on your way until you guys found an acid river Well, what what it was I think it was it wasn't specifically acid it didn't say it was like nuclear waste or something I know I said it was runoff Yeah, it said it was waste yeah it turns out to be acid basically but you called it waste okay oh gosh gosh we have mob violence and music piracy in this universe and now we have nuclear waste
Speaker: let's kind of go together forest guys uh came across a river that was uh flowing through the forest made of acid spooky uh you guys ended up uh begging this charmeleon who was drunk off his ass to lend you his carbon fiber boat which is acid resistant is his golden oars because gold is also acid resistant to uh perilously make your way across the river um so you guys did that and you lost one of the golden oars in the attempt but you guys made it across and we also nearly lost walter oh yeah yeah you guys almost lost water only took eight eight damage
Speaker: Okay, so, uh, you guys landed on the other side of the river, and eventually you guys made it out of the spooky, sorry, the spooky forest, and you guys arrived Bree's home city, supposedly the home of, uh, one Bob Lagarchomp.
Speaker: So, that is your guys' next lead, and you must find the house of Bob Lagarchomp.
Speaker: Okay, so you guys are in- er, I'm almost at entering. You guys are leaving the spooky forest. As daylight opens up around to you guys, you guys come into the flowery city of Bree's home city.
Speaker: There's flowers everywhere. There's windmills in the distance. Basically, think of- Ooh, what was that city called? Floroma Town. Floroma Yeah. Oh, yeah. Think of that. There's pretty cottages all around. And as you look down, you see a flower salesman. It is Shaman.
Speaker: Shaman. then fit shaman Shaman. Wait, No. shame i i was like yeah shaman i was like wait no shaman really and it is a flowette there's a flowette running a flower stand and and she sees you guys and she's like welcome welcome i am selling flowers of many kind are you guys new to the city to our humble little town yeah yeah we're pretty new here we're we're we're lone travelers looking for treasure um or whatever
Speaker: treasure we don't have much treasure around here but we got lots of flowers and pretty sights um i need someone to roll intelligence who's the smartest one of the group i've got a plus one got minus one okay uh evelyn yeah i think that leaves you plus zero plus zero okay yeah yeah yeah it makes sense take how many kid is smart That's a 13 plus 1, 14.
Speaker: Okay. So one thing you've noticed, ah you notice as you come up to this flower salesman is that this place is completely surrounded by flowers. And yet this person is selling flowers that are abundant all around them for absolutely free.
Speaker: So one thing you also notice with your 14 is that this flower stand is making absolutely no money. Huh.
Speaker: You know, it might be better for sales if you sell some flowers that aren't really found around here. Oh, but you see, look, these flowers, they're extra pretty. These ones you have to venture deeper into the forest to get.
Speaker: And you look at the flowers, and then you look at the, yeah, you look at the flowers they're selling, and then you look at the flowers on the ground, they're pretty much identical. I was gonna say, even if there was a difference, Bruce was not gonna be able to see it.
Speaker: ah Well, you guys can't see whatever difference there's flow at a time. I just had a thought. This reminds me of this. Has anyone seen Chippendale Rescue Ranger movie? Uh.
Speaker: Don't think Oh my gosh, there's a scene like, they walk down like a perfectly beautiful, innocent neighborhood. It's like, yeah, that guy does Muppet fights. Yeah, they see that girl in sudden shoes. Yeah, she does arena.
Speaker: She has toys. Battle it. So I'm thinking like, this is some some cover-up right now.
Speaker: Yeah, the flow, it looks like you guys like, yeah, I don't get much many sales around here, but maybe you guys could be my first customer. And she like holds out some flowers to you guys, some bright purple ones with a yellow center.
Speaker: Seems legit.
Speaker: Can we roll an insight? Sure. What are you trying to insight on this? i want to see if she's bullshitting us.
Speaker: Sure. go ahead and roll insight.
Speaker: Yes, definitely not me forgetting, alright. It's plus zero. Let's do this. Hit the money. Thirteen. Thirteen? Uh, yeah, I'll give it to you. Uh, this Floette is clearly a child. She doesn't really know better.
Speaker: the flowers themselves, they look fine. It looks like just a kid trying to run the lemonade stand. Uh, okay. Are you sure you mean Floette and not Flo-bae-bae then?
Speaker: Uh, hopes is Floette not the pre-evolution. Floette's the middle evolution. No, Floette is the middle evolution. Maybe this one evolved fast. Whatever the pre-evolution is, yes. These kids these days, they grow up so fast.
Speaker: Yeah, Flobebe is like the teenager form. okay. Floette. Didn't I say Floette? Floette is the teenager form. Flobebe is the baby.
Speaker: Okay, let me go to Flobebe. Hmm. yeah but i don't think evolution stages necessarily correspond to age if they were young adults and we have none of us evolved that's true yeah i mean you're 18 you're still a real with scratch recently well wait that was like two years ago the best right we evolved differently uh yeah what about this flow and all that i mean baby it's like
Speaker: 20 something i think refer flabaybay into flowette regardless this is basically a kid and this kid is trying to sell you flowers
Speaker: also like i'm good i i don't like allergies uh pollen my nose does not do well with allergy with flowers Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Speaker: um Here, maybe you can sell these. And she hands you some other flowers that are clearly fake flowers. They're like made a fabric or something like that. Can I tell this girl really wants me to make sale?
Speaker: Yes, that is blatantly obvious. makele what Make what? Make sale? Yeah. Walter will buy some. Yeah. i That'll be one poke per flower. And she hands you a bundle of three flowers.
Speaker: Uh, he's like, here, you can keep the change. You'll land 200 over. oh she looks at you with like the widest eyes like, are you serious? Yeah, sure. Yeah, kid.
Speaker: Definitely not thinking that he has 150,000 now in total with everybody. She's going to rush up to you and hug you because this is the most money she's ever had in her life. It seems.
Speaker: Yeah, that makes sense. Whatever can I do to repay you the ah Do you know any Garchomp's that live around here? Garchomp?
Speaker: Not in a while. we One of our neighbors, Bob, used to be around you but we haven't seen him in like a week. Do you know where he used to live? Yeah, just just down here. And she points down to a sign that says ah Jackson Drive. i don't know. Some road.
Speaker: And it's that purple house there. That like lavender purple house there. And she points to a, well, a lavender purple house. Well, I think this has been very informative. Here, here's a tip.
Speaker: He'll put down the golden ore. Here, here's an ornament. No! Don't give her stolen goods. ah Give her contraband. Here, here you go.
Speaker: Here, just take this, lug this heavy ore back home with you. Okay, i' um or ill i'll get I'll give her an extra 200. She's being a good snitch. Okay, okay.
Speaker: Yeah, her she looks like she's about to have a heart attack with good with excitement. Walter is making a good name for himself with these kids. He's going to be a good man. do do you want Do you want to follow me?
Speaker: Come here, come here. I can show you. i can show you Bob's place. And she's like tugging at your arm trying to drag you over to Bob's place. You might miss some customers they come through. oh no come with me.
Speaker: And she's still yanking at your arm. So full of energy. Walter, knowing he could probably easily not be moved or anything, he'll act like he's getting pulled along. ah Okay.
Speaker: I take it everyone's following. I'm just gonna putting this out Walter's great with kids. I'm just gonna make this clear. Walter... oh yeah easy He's a for morally gray character, but when it comes to kids... Yeah, for reference, Flabebe is four inches tall. Thank you. She's size of my hand. Flabebe four inches tall? Yeah. a quarter of my height! Okay.
Speaker: ah right okay see Because head is like inches. I don't know how tall Pikachu is. i I essentially- you guys are all basically the same height. At least that's how I've always imagined it. Listen, is we don't talk about Pokemon height. Don't look at the anime when they change heights all the time.
Speaker: Oh my god, really? That's true. and okay so Okay, so you guys are heading towards Bob's place. This Flabebe is dragging you along.
Speaker: And eventually you guys get up to the purple house. um There is Ursaring standing in front of the house, almost like a bodyguard. He sees you pull up, and the Ursaring's like, Oh, hey ah Jasmine.
Speaker: She says, looking at the Flabebe. Did I give the flip baby a name already? I forgot. No. She never told us. Okay, her name's Jasmine now. Yep. Okay. Well, we're we're just finding out who it is.
Speaker: What the name is. Yeah, the URSA ring looks and is like, oh, hey, Jasmine. You got some new friends here? And he squints at you guys. Um...
Speaker: as Evelyn, you do the talking. I'm only good at talking with kids. I just make the adults angry. yeah yeah Yeah. I'll go up.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Hi, yeah, we were just in the neighborhood and we met... Well, um, I i guess here i guess this is your friend Jasmine. Um, and we just wanted to... Well, um, well, we're we're looking at moving into this, into Bree's home city and we, you know, we were just looking at houses so she's showing us around. Um, she's a pretty good business lady.
Speaker: Uh, go ahead and roll deception. I'm gonna have him roll insight on you. Okay. yeah
Speaker: Thirteen. Well, with a three, he's like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The housing market here is actually quite booming. We've ah been expanding a little bit. We're starting a bakery here now, too.
Speaker: A bakery? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a lot of new people coming in lately. So you're looking at housing? ah Yeah. I suggest going down to the realty market, the realty house, at fucking office there at the end of the street, and you, like, points down the road.
Speaker: You'll find a lot more info down there. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, of course. And he waves you adieu.
Speaker: Evelyn, Evelyn, ask him if this house is open. The kid said no one's lived in a bit.
Speaker: Nobody's lived here in a bit. Um, hi. Okay. Um, excuse me, sir. Do you know if anybody, if anybody lives in this house right now?
Speaker: Yeah. Bob lives here. Bob. Um, is he, is he here? well Yeah, obviously. Okay. Um, yeah, maybe we'll, we'll come back with the, we'll come back with the real, with the real tour and we'll, we'll, um, we, we'd like to maybe see if we can, you know, make an offer.
Speaker: Okay, yeah, yeah. Okay, and... Here, take this, and he hands you a package. Okay. Thank you. It's like a paper package. Oh, God.
Speaker: Don't make me too pity for this cardinal. As soon as you take it, you start to feel a little uneasy. Hmm. Huh.
Speaker: I wonder what is... I'm already carrying package. Um, do you know what's...
Speaker: you know what's in this? Uh, you'll figure it out later. He says with a smile. Insight check! Yeah, go and roll insight.
Speaker: Yes! can we ask Can we all roll it? That was so evil! I think Hikara's the one we should roll. Can we give her advantage? Wait, you could give me advantage. roll insight.
Speaker: Okay, I got an 8. Oh, he rolled a 7. That smile was, in fact, a sinister smile.
Speaker: Yeah, we should probably dump that package as soon as we get out of sight. It's a tell-tale game. Hikaru will remember this.
Speaker: Well, thank you so much for... Well, thank you so much for for handing me this package. where would you Where do you want me to deliver this to? This is a gift for you. A gift? Okay.
Speaker: um Take good care of it. Just don't open it for as long as possible. Okay. Alright.
Speaker: Well, have a nice... yeah sorry yeah yeah of course it's just stupid thing that's super a stranger to say to you here's this package also never open it yeah i say we open it i say say we walk hikaru walks back to walks back to where you guys are and she's like I say we... I say we take it down the block and see what's in it.
Speaker: okay Just, you know, know your customer kind of thing. Did we hear this little conversation? I'm guessing? ah Yeah, you guys were basically like on the sidewalk and they were like on the stoop. so yeah Did the flipbaby follow us or go back to stall? the flipbaby is up with Hikaru.
Speaker: Well, no, the flipbaby is with ah with Walter, sorry. right Oh, right. The playbaby is still with us. Uh-oh. Okay, uh, well, thank you for leading me. Um, this is a great help. I hope your store does good.
Speaker: yeah, of course. I gotta get back to my store. Oh, no, my my parents run the ah florist business around here. they They make a lot of fertilizer and stuff, and it's what makes all the flowers so pretty around here.
Speaker: Oh. You should come visit us sometime. um yeah it looks I'll make it on my bucket list to visit them. Alright. And she starts floating away back to her stand.
Speaker: Alright, it's canon now. The the love that Walter needs is just the love of of making kids bet feel the good. Making them feel happy. There we go. That's how Walter evolves. Walter just has to make a hundred kids happy and then he evolves.
Speaker: but can't do that to his own kid. Oh no. Welcome to the future. Wait. He's already evolved when he has the kid.
Speaker: I know. Walter can't breathe. That's right. Walter's another person who has to evolve at some point between our show and Not a Scratch Times. I'm very curious what what would have happened in the future because wasn't like, ah didn't Walter in the Not a Scratch universe like abandon Ralph or something like that? Yes! is He bounced! bouned yes hes completely Well, that's pretty much what happened. Supposedly, there was...
Speaker: I think how it was explained was that there was some sort of issue between the families. Like, Walter's family and Ralph's mom's family had some issues.
Speaker: And Walter left, I think is how it was explained. ah yeah. Well, maybe we'll get to roleplay that in real time. We'll ah we'll do a yeah dating simulator with Jake in our free time. And we're gonna see exactly you fuck up this relationship.
Speaker: So what? Another dating sim- He tried that already. What do you mean another He tried that already and turned the person he tried with or already dating someone. Oh yeah, Selena. Yeah, that was yeah interesting.
Speaker: I hate you for that. Okay, okay, so you guys are standing on the sidewalk outside of the purple house of Bob Jackson's
Speaker: no purple house of bob so this scorch i got scott jackson here you pi Okay, so what'd you guys do? You guys now have- ah you've obtained a strange package.
Speaker: Yeah, know I feel like we should take that package out of town real quick and dump it somewhere. Like, walk away from town. Do I have my Orsense back?
Speaker: Or no? Yeah. I wonder if you can like... Um... Actually yeah, Daylight spawn back in, so... Did I this time to recover? Because I did use it on the gift that we got from the No, you Yeah, you do, because remember Daylight came back when you guys left the forest, so a day did pass. Which also means I need to roll for Bree. If you guys could remember, remind me that when I have my Excel sheet next, because I don't have a track here. Alright, so group vote. Do I use Aura Sense on it to make sure there's not some, like, void trap?
Speaker: I... Sure. no Do we think it's just, like, a bomb, and i wouldn't get any sense off it? Yeah, I have a feeling it's just some sort of bomb, so... You know, I think we have an expert we can call.
Speaker: Can we put an artillery? Oh, Vickers! Can we have his contact info? You do! I'm pretty sure you do, don't you? right I think so. How do we contact him though? It started off while we have GPAs and now everyone's gotten them.
Speaker: I don't remember. I just swore you had some kind of contact with Vickers. Cause he said like, uh, cause Hikaru said something like, we'll get you hooked up with a new place. Right. all of that might be what it sure i I think he just he just gave us a card back with his address. Well, if you guys want to go to the local library, you can send him a fax.
Speaker: Yeah. Maybe there's like a payphone around here. It's all the... Wait minute. Wouldn't his fax be blown up in the explosion when his house blew up?
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know how fax works. Can you like fax a post office and have him send it somewhere? just fit Why don't you guys just send a piece of mail? Find like helper or something. Wait, what about Horizon?
Speaker: Yeah, we just sent mail by Pelopert and they know where they are. So you want to mail us now? It's just bomb terrorist.
Speaker: Oh no. No, not the bomb. Is that April Fool's prank? That's quite an April Fool's prank. It's like, Uno, it's July.
Speaker: Imagine if it blew up mid-transit, we'd have a ah ah federal federal hospital working. You guys would blow up Horaiza, she's such a precious character.
Speaker: i was picturing a pelipper, but... Do you know, just pelipper with beak exploding? Let's just go outside of town and open it Very carefully.
Speaker: that I like that idea. I need to know. Are you guys going back to just spooky forest or are you guys just going into the local woods? We are taking the nearest group out of town.
Speaker: I said we just bring it like a few blocks down the road. Well, if it's a bomb, we don't want to blow buildings with it. We'll get blamed for it. True. Exactly. this But we'll be dead.
Speaker: There's a chance we may survive. I survived acid on me. Yeah, and then and then we'll be arrested and we'll be sentenced to death, and then we'll be dead. Well, yes. That's why we don't want to end it. And then we'll be dead. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So here, wait, idea.
Speaker: we We take it out into the woods, just throw it up in the air as high as we can, and I shoot it with an ember, and we see what happens. When you shoot things with embers, it turns to turn bad.
Speaker: That might work. Or I could like Thunder Shock it if I still have Thunder Shock in my move set. Yeah, I do. I'll just Electro Ball it. This is all you guys. I got no range moves.
Speaker: Walter goes up and punches it. That's how Walter loses a hand.
Speaker: That's how get my robot hand. a fucking robot again I really don't know what's in this package. um Can we use any of the functionality? Yes, into the woods first.
Speaker: Okay, but you guys head into the local woods. You guys are in the peaceful woods. How about I use absolute move or just to blow through the package? Can we use any of the functionality on our GBAs to inspect it?
Speaker: I don't think you have a spec function. You guys have like a map. You guys have like a map function, a text and phone call service and a camera. That's. Can I ruin the station to see? Isn't one of you.
Speaker: Yeah, in a second. Isn't one of your sheets um literally labeled like GBA functionality or something? Or was that from 4.3? I don't remember. Yeah, that was probably 4.3. Oh, wait.
Speaker: Unlock GBA apps in the guild info. Maps, text and call and photos is all we have. i'll get there Okay, there you go. You guys still have to unlock other apps. You mean we gotta download other think Hikaru would really love have voice notes.
Speaker: Voice notes. Oh my god. That is that could be a whole thing where like at the end of the episode of each episode we just see whatever voice notes Evelyn recorded that episode. Yeah. That could actually be really cute. It's random between everybody. It's just random. cause then she could just like thing Yeah, or like song ideas.
Speaker: I'll write that down as an app idea. Yeah, I like that. Song ideas. Something with acid water. sh Okay, so you guys are all standing in a circle around this package in the woods. um What ideas do you guys want to try to figure out what this is? Are you guys just going open Are you guys going blast it? packaging What kind of packaging is it in? Is it like a wrapping paper?
Speaker: Is it in? It's basically just an Amazon paper package. It even has Amazon stamped on it. Oh, then it's definitely just broken. I didn't know they had Amazon in this world.
Speaker: They do now. Yeah, it's Can I... It's Verizion. Okay. Yeah, sure. Go ahead and roll with this. Oh, by the way... As you... As you put the package down, Hikaru, you suddenly feel a lot better. You don't feel quite as uneasy anymore. god.
Speaker: so It's so who such a curse. It is such a curse. Investigation. ahead and roll investigation. I rolled an 18 plus 1. 19. But an 18 plus 1, you look intently at this paper bag, and you see paper bag.
Speaker: and locks would we like I we start opening it carefully. and then you're it would be how would be investigating it claws to slowly open it okay okay so you start cutting open the package and you see something purple inside and eventually you guys see a purple orb oh
Speaker: Is this a toxic orb? Because those things are like highly illegal and we should probably try to find way of- Aura Sense? To see if it's a toxic orb or an orb we need. Go ahead and use Aura Sense. Go ahead and roll Perception with advantage? I think it's- Arcana. Arcana with advantage.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. 16 plus- a 15. sixteen it's a fifteen Okay, 15? There is something godly in this town.
Speaker: You can't pinpoint exactly where it is. But what there is something... There is something in this town that is godly. What about the orb? I focused it on the orb.
Speaker: You focus it on the orb and you get trace amounts of... i don't know, what other word do you use? Godliness? Holiness? Holy? There's something... Divine. And... Divine.
Speaker: Yes. There's divineness around. you're not sure if it's specifically on this orb or not, but there's divinity in the air. Hmm... But it's a purple orb and there's not supposed to purple orb. Can call your mom?
Speaker: You say call your mom? Can we call- Bruce, can we call your mom? Maybe she knows something about this? Oh. Yeah... I guess we probably should. Send her a picture of it and call her- If it's a toxic orb, I don't- actually, i could just add it to our crime sheet, but... Okay, yeah who are you- We should not use a toxic orb. to note Those things are real- do you Um, so from what I've read about them, they haven't formed naturally in like a couple thousand years. and they basically cause a poison that can't be cured. And the more you try to cure it, the faster it kills you.
Speaker: So I'm not touching this orb and I'm walking away. i've i just like, done this, going home, going to bed. but Nope, nope, nope. Yeah, so out here I guess we'll pull out pull off the GBA and call my mom.
Speaker: Let's back up a few feet just in case. Yeah. Okay. So you pull your jibia and you start ringing your mom. ah Miss Flameback eventually pops up on the little hologram like she always does. It's just like, oh, hey, hey, Bruce. Oh, and everyone. oh What you guys got going on? Did you guys get another lead?
Speaker: So we've got an orb here we want to ask you a question about. And you guys found one of the orbs already? We found An orb? I don't think it's the orb we're looking for.
Speaker: Take a look at this picture here that just sent you. Oh, okay, good. was going to say, the I can see the orb in the hologram, but it's, like, all blue and flickery. Anyway, so you can see she, like, pulls up her GPS, like, oh, it's purple?
Speaker: There's no nothing about purple orbs in the prophecies. Okay. Yeah, um like I don't think we're supposed to be finding any purple orb. I don't know anything about this.
Speaker: He thinks it's a toxic orb. Do you want me see if the rest of the ah guild knows anything about this? He said toxic orb? It might be. I mean, i think I have a theory that it might be a toxic orb, but like those things are...
Speaker: Like, not supposed to happen anymore, so... You know, I have an idea. Give me one second. is She, like, runs out of frame for a minute. And after a little bit, she comes back. And you see she has Veronica and Jeremy. Okay.
Speaker: and she's like okay okay you too uh the the gang just sent us uh uh this picture do you guys know what this is Veronica takes the Veronica takes one look at it and a smile comes up on her face she's like yeah that's a toxic worm we used to get high up of those things all the fucking time back in band what what Nani Walter just walked away
Speaker: like don't need to hear her and jeremy are over there laughing that's that's gay that's not one of the orbs that's just the toxic orb where the hell did you get one of those things some guy just gave us a package oh you're just trying to probably trying to poison you guys if you if if you handle it correctly and you like channel right you can like get this mate crazy high off of it it's actually like really cool you should keep it mail it back to us might be able to use it later <unk>s a fool This back is like looking at Veronica.
Speaker: she is an awful parent Is there a way of safely disposing of it without doing any kind of druggy shenanigans?
Speaker: Veronica looks distraught. Acid river? What do you mean acid river? There's apparently a company dumps a bunch of chemicals and who makes acid river. It's literally a barrier into this place.
Speaker: What? The whole of Shangalo City is it's just acid runoff. And we got cursed. You got cursed? By who? What?
Speaker: Um... A crazy fairy type? Uh, I think it was a Morgrem. Walter, are you dealing with curses now? She's like way up close on the fucking hologram. You just said you got high. Don't make it all mighty with me.
Speaker: Oh my god, I'm a fucking adult. You are still a kid. I'm 18. Still a kid. This kid's doing Laugh of Death missions.
Speaker: Well, I'm not telling you how to get high off of that orb. You'll figure that out on your own.
Speaker: I'm running the Mad Parent one of these apparently. Oh my goodness. Anyway, Mistflameback pushes back into the frame. but Okay, now that we've confirmed what this is, ah do you guys need anything else?
Speaker: Do you know of a way of safely disposing of it? I mean, I will be perfectly honest, not for the same reason Veronica said, but we probably could use that. Those things are quite rare.
Speaker: Yeah, aren't they also, like, highly illegal? Well, is your name on it? No. No, okay, I don't see what the issue is then.
Speaker: I wonder if we can ship it back to headquarters in like secure packaging. Why don't we just leave it here? Don't you guys have the badges?
Speaker: guy Guys, I gave you badges for this exact reason, you know? Oh! oh Oh! We just bring Bruce pulls out his badge. Yeah, bru Bruce just pulls out his badge and warps it back.
Speaker: It's gone. Yeah, there you go. Okay, yeah yeah, you push your the button on your badge and you see the ah orb appear in front of Miss Flameback. you're like, oh, there it is. ah And she like puts it down immediately because that makes her feel sick.
Speaker: Yeah. I'll contain this and keep this away from certain individuals. She says, glaring at Veronica.
Speaker: Really bad at bringing it on the team. Oh, yeah. Well, now that that's taken care of, um... Cool.
Speaker: Mr. Garchomp and the real estate agent, I mean, what? Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, that that's weird that they said that Bob was home when Bob very much should not be home
Speaker: Are you guys on the call still or did you guys hang up? No, we hung up. Oh, wait. We're still on the call? I thought we hung up. I thought we hung up. That's all the we needed from them.
Speaker: Sounds like general consensus. We said goodbye. I don't need to hear about how my mom's getting high and telling me not to do curses. When she really is okay with me going on murder missions. I mean, there isn't as much turmoil you think there What you talking about? She about you when she heard you were had a hit hug.
Speaker: Okay, so you guys got the package taken care of now. You guys are standing in the middle of the woods. um The current info you guys have right now is you figured out where Bob's house is.
Speaker: You found out that there's an Ursa ring guarding his place, and you guys need to do something about that. So I'll let you guys take it from here. yeah You know, we could do the old the um oldest one of the oldest trick in the books that Akili had.
Speaker: Um, speed throw a dynamite in the window and run. yes Or if we could do stealth mission and not blow up part of a neighborhood.
Speaker: Again. Hey, I said part of a neighborhood. We blew up an entire neighborhood before. We blew up multiple blocks. Okay, fair.
Speaker: I think we should... think we should, figure... Find out what that guard chomp's business is, if he's even there, before we try to blow him up.
Speaker: Yeah, he already blew up this Garchomp with TNT before, now he's supposedly back home. So... wonder if I can give him PTSD just holding it out.
Speaker: I don't even think he's there to begin with, to be honest. Oh no, I thought he was dead, but apparently he lived. Like... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I mean... Didn't a, um... Aren't we looking for an Ursula?
Speaker: Ursula? Yes. Yes. We are also looking for an Ursa Ring. now I don't want to be that guy, but this Ursa Ring is definitely part of them and we're looking for one.
Speaker: and it's conveniently in with a garden shop. I mean, I'm just saying the facts. don't want to be that kind of Pokemon. oh Yes, I know this is also the Ursa Ring we're looking for. did did Walter tell us about his aura sense?
Speaker: i do not believe so i thought i did because i said i couldn't get a read on it because of all the um divination energy that was coming around the place that all okay so yeah divine everything that's yeah so so your aura earlier kind of told us that there's probably an orb somewhere in this town I'm thinking, well, that Ursaring is the one that stole the orb and probably brought it to the Garchomp's house.
Speaker: That's why he's guarding the house until Garchomp comes back, but he ain't gonna come back. All right, so we break in. Yes.
Speaker: And get past the Ursaring? Where do One us can small talk and distract him when we break in. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, i don't know. I know. We should put on a show like um like the scene where they do soda pop. So we're just like, you want hus me to make music while you sing and you sneak in.
Speaker: Yeah, in front of the house. We just, like, we just... Basically, it's like we have a float, and then and then there's just, like, a stage. Maybe just near it. Maybe just near it. Because that'd be very suspicious we're, like, right in front of them.
Speaker: Okay, yeah, down the block. Down the block. That will be that will work. um Just do like do, like, a traveling skit so you're walking down the street while you're doing it.
Speaker: And then you'll be able tell when he's distracted.
Speaker: I think I'm still gonna try to sneak in through the back if possible so I can avoid him altogether, but... Alright, it's a plan then.
Speaker: We'll go make music and and distract people while you sneak in the back.
Speaker: Sounds like a plan. Hopefully there isn't any other people guarding the house.
Speaker: Okay. So is that your guys' plan? Yeah. Should we come up with a signal in case I need backup in case there is someone? ah Scream. Scream,
Speaker: need help. Yeah. Something that sounds silly.
Speaker: yeah come likely something sounds silly Something that sounds silly like, uh... don't know. Oh, here's something that would never be said. Yabba dabba Here's something that would never be said in this party.
Speaker: Man, that Charmander was such a nice person. but that That is true. Hey, what a nice Charmander!
Speaker: we got Charmanders inside. it's like hospice. There you Yeah. Charmander alert.
Speaker: There we go. That's like our attack phrase. If it's like go time, we just say its we got Charmanders. That's our attack phrase.
Speaker: Okay, so if something goes south on my end, I'll call Charmander alert. And then you guys know to rush in to help or something.
Speaker: Oh god, we're actually playing D&D now. Yeah buddy!
Speaker: It's been so long. How exactly do you guys want to do this? It sounds like part one of this plan is you guys are setting up a show. So, um tell me exactly how you guys are going to go about doing that. and then I need Bruce to tell me how he's sneaking my back.
Speaker: How does it look like the places in front of the house? What does it look like? Is it like- It's basically just a neighborhood street.
Speaker: I say we'll probably just like start start down the road and just slowly go up to where we where the house is and just go by. Act like not that act like nonchalant. Okay, so both of you and Hikaru are making music? Is that what it is? I'm playing yeah my guitar while she's singing.
Speaker: So I'm figuring... I'm gonna wait for them to start doing their thing and then I'm gonna double around to like the street behind this one and that way I'll have easier way of sneaking in the back.
Speaker: You guys are queuing up for this, uh, uh, like band thing, this show. So, uh, because you have guys have two people doing this performance, I'm going to, as a group, have you guys roll with advantage. So ah each of you roll once and the highest number takes it.
Speaker: Uh, and I will roll against you to see if the Earth's Ring is distracted as you guys are going up the street. So go ahead and roll performance with the both of you. Okay. Advantage, so here we go.
Speaker: Four great number Where's my bonus? What was it again? Performance? 17. What?
Speaker: Yeah performance. 17. Nice.
Speaker: Okay, so, uh, as you guys go down the street, Walter is playing his electric guitar and Hikaru is singing a song. You guys go down the road. And she's got ukulele, too. Uh, oh yeah, I probably had your ukulele. You know, good ol' ukulele and distortion guitar. They go great together. Yeah! So...
Speaker: so um all right bruce what you see is as these guys are going down the road you can see the earth string is sitting on the stoop and he is intently watching the show he is not quite paying attention to his surroundings at the moment perfect so now i'm gonna sneak like are there like What's the layout for the neighborhood?
Speaker: So it's pretty standard house. You've got a front yard, and then ah you can go around the house on both sides. In the back, there is a a backyard with a porch. um And there is... you'll see what Well, see you'll see when you get back there, because you can't see everything in the backyard yet. But if you want to get to the backyard, you're going to have to roll stealth with advantage because he is distracted.
Speaker: Well, so I was already, i was on the street behind this one, so I'd be coming up to the house from the backyard. Yeah, I like that. So, ah in that case, you don't even have to roll.
Speaker: ah You cut through a neighbor's yard. ah You get to the back street, and the guard is not at all paying attention to anything we're at the this very moment. What you see is basically like a back of deck with sliding glass doors on it. And um there's some, like, windows and stuff. ah Go ahead and roll Perception for further info.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: That is a 5 plus 2, 7? ah Pretty much exactly what I just told you. There's this lighting glass door, there's some windows with a deck. So make of that what you will.
Speaker: oh Alright. Can I... So I guess I'll creep up to the house and like peek up into the windows, see if I see anybody in the house.
Speaker: Yeah, there's a Garchomp sleeping on the couch inside.
Speaker: if There is a Garchomp. Hmm. Well, this is concerning. And you see there's something slightly behind his back, but you can't quite see what it is.
Speaker: right. In that case... Oh, boy.
Speaker: What the chances that this Garchomp can just one-shot me? Pretty good, you're fire type. And you're small and fragile and frail against the Mega Garchomp. Hey, here, that's not a Mega Garchomp!
Speaker: Right now, as a regular Garchomp. No, no, no. I i forgot Mega Garchomp was a thing. I just meant like a big Garchomp. Sorry, I forgot Mega Garchomp actually existed. ah Nope, this Garchomp is now just Mega Evolved in its sleep. It's napping, and it's just suddenly Mega Evolved.
Speaker: No, it is not Mega Garchomp. It is a large Garchomp. Okay, good. Because if it was suddenly Mega Evolved, I was about to go Charmander all over the place.
Speaker: But in that case, I'm going to try to sneak in because the Garchomp is asleep.
Speaker: Go ahead and roll Stealth with Advantage. Wait, hold on. Which way are you trying to enter? Which way are you trying to enter? um
Speaker: I was going to enter through the back, like try to be... like a Yeah, there's the sliding glass doors and the windows, which I guess I didn't mention, but they also slide open.
Speaker: So... oh or unless I was just going to try to like slowly inch the sliding glass door to open just enough that I can slip in...
Speaker: Go ahead and roll stealth with advantage. All right.
Speaker: Nat 20. Nat 20. Nat 20.
Speaker: Nat 20. Nat 20. my mama barrel You're lucky because ah the reason this Garchomp was napping, and you can see a canister of oil sitting next to the Garchomp, is because this Garchomp just got done oiling all of his doors around his house. So, you go to open this door and it glides silently open.
Speaker: Oils and flames, that's that's fun. We sit in our flame type in an oiled house.
Speaker: I assume that Hikaru and Walter are not paying attention because they're out there performing on the street. Not until we hit Charmander's. Yeah, they don't see any of this because this is happening in the back behind the house.
Speaker: yeah So, as you enter into the house, you see a couple things. You see a Garchomp. You're not quite sure if it's Bob or not, because ah the last time you encountered him, you saw him for five seconds before a certain somebody threw dynamite at him. Yeah. Wonder who that could have been.
Speaker: Hey, I saved this fight. You got a bunch of XP. Why don't you see the... See if you can tell the gender of it. Go ahead and roll perception. I was gonna have you roll perception in a minute anyway, but go ahead and roll perception. All right. 15 plus 2, 17. Okay, so there's a few things that you see.
Speaker: First of all, Garchomp does in fact have some kind of long flat object behind its back that it's sleeping with. And um you can see that this is in fact Bob. This is Bob the Garchomp, back from the dead.
Speaker: What you also see is on the table next you a lot of overdue bills, bills that have like overdue stamped on them ah you see You can see that there's like a lot like a lot of...
Speaker: do I describe that? ah The place looks a little run down. It's not very well kept at the moment. um It seems like this Garchomp is going through a rough time at the moment. On the mantle place, you also see... It's just, you know, the blue orb. It's just sitting there.
Speaker: Nice. Can I go and snag the blue orb and get back out the back? Uh... Yeah, you would. If Garchomp wasn't awake and looking at you.
Speaker: What?! But I rolled a Nat 20 stealth! Uh, so... Bob, uh... Bob decided that was a great time to end his nap.
Speaker: And as he starts stirring, he rolls over and looks at you and he's like... What? This is a dream! Hello? Wait, wait, it's you! What are you doing here?
Speaker: i am not the syndical you are looking for. oh my god
Speaker: He's like, oh, oh. He like rolls over and tries going back to sleep. Wait a minute. yeah Wait a minute! He turns around, he gets up out of bed. ah You, you're the one that Silver's looking for.
Speaker: and the rest of you. i Charmander alert! Charmander You screaming this? Go ahead and... I want i want ah Walter and Hikaru to roll perception to see if they can hear you.
Speaker: no. this
Speaker: Oh goodness. 13? 6.
Speaker: six Walter, with your dog-like hearing, you can sort of hear something over the sound of both your guys' guitars and singing.
Speaker: I'm gonna say, yeah, you can hear, ah Bruce. But with that also, the- well, I should actually roll for this. Nope, never mind. The other string doesn't fucking hear a thing.
Speaker: God, he's rolled like a 3, a 4, and a 7. You know, kind of wish he did have that money back, because now we don't really have anything to charge him against when we go in there. So, okay, so, Walter, specifically, you hear first.
Speaker: Okay. So, like, is Walter just gonna, like, interrupt Hikaru while she's, like, she's just, she can't hear it because she's singing too loud? You know that how, band like, when someone walks in, you hear, dan like, someone stops abruptly in this and they're playing? That's what happens, and Walter just puts in his backpack and just bolts towards the house. Huh? Yeah.
Speaker: Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, oh no! Oh my gosh. And then Hikaru just like runs in yeah And then before combat starts, well while Darchomp is still like going through his monologue,
Speaker: Bruce is gonna go in for a play rough. Hey. Right after does his call-up. You can't just my monologue like that. What do you mean can't just skip it? Skip your monologue like that. They do it to Team Russell all the time. What do you a what are you, Android 13? I'm supposed to have my talk so I can power up.
Speaker: You can't just skip my monologue like that. What are you doing? oh This is an anime. You can't do this. Is Walter and Hikaru coming into the front of the Ursaring guarding the front? Are you guys attempting to go around the back?
Speaker: Um... I'm rolling for Walter. I'm gonna fall. You know what? I i might try to headbutt the door. Evens, I go straight for the door and just punched Ursaring.
Speaker: Odds, I go for the back door. Okay. Okay. All right, I will fall. You're going for the back door or the front door? i forgot you Oh, evens was me attacking.
Speaker: Oh boy. Okay. Fuck. You weren't ready for us to fight Ursuling. Okay, so you're going to attack the Ursuling. Hikaru, what are you doing?
Speaker: I'm going to try to, like, try to go through the window.
Speaker: Uh, the front door or the back door? Or the back- front of the back of the house. Go to the back door. can handle this one earth sling. You know, okay. Back door. Fine. Fine. Um... Okay, okay. You get to the back door. You can clearly see the back door is open. Yeah. So she's, like, using a quick attack to- to dash around the house.
Speaker: Go to the Garchomp that you're also weak to. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Yeah. Bring both of the people that are weak to Garchomp to go fight the Garchomp. Yeah. So one person that has an ice move isn't there.
Speaker: It's not like I have Ice Punch. Wait, I have Trailblaze though. Yep, and I have Quake Rock. Actually, it's neutral. Trailblaze is neutral because it's super effective and not very effective.
Speaker: Um, on the authority of our guild name. Insert guild name here. I don't think should be telling people the guild ah stolen property it of upset guild i don't think we should be telling people who the guild is We're a secret.
Speaker: on On guild authority. Doesn't say the name. Just say. There you go. That works. By the authority vested in me by some guild. By a totally legit guild.
Speaker: That's what the police coming up to us says. Halt. We are some police. We are the police of some city. We're from the 99th district. There's no 99th district. Shut up. Give us what we want.
Speaker: pretty much shut up let us okay created okay we are going to deal with the garchomp first before we get into combat so um hikaru what you see coming in is you see bob the garchomp uh sizing up against uh bruce and as you enter inside uh Yeah, I'm not going make you roll for it. You can also see the blue orb sitting on the mantle on the ah above the fireplace.
Speaker: OK, Hikaru is thinking super fast because, you know, lightning fast. That's what she does. And in the split second, it's like you're watching this in like slow motion.
Speaker: So yeah. So the next thing she does is she... She like... what What's the layout of this house? of this house ah You're basically in the living room and to your right is the fireplace. Straight ahead of you is where Bob is and the couch.
Speaker: Okay. Okay. um I'm gonna make a quick... perception Can I? I can see the blue orb, right? You said Yeah. Yeah, you can see the blue orb. okay I'll give you both one action. Okay.
Speaker: So Hikaru is going to... going to spend her action doing nothing?
Speaker: ah and Sorry, go I'm going to decide if I should charge... um Her momentum... She's just gonna let... she because she has She has a lot of momentum coming into this house.
Speaker: So she is going to go in for trailblaze and try to knock the Garchomp over. Okay. Okay. So you go for a trailblaze and the Garchomp just like puts up a hand and just stops you from being like, Hey, what are you trying to do i got I got a monologue to get through. Excuse me.
Speaker: Excuse me? Are you bringing the fourth wall? I will smash it for you. um Yeah, yeah, fuck off. I got a lot to say. Anyway, do you guys have anything else you want to do before I actually get started on this monologue? You guys are trying so hard to skip.
Speaker: Alright fine, if there has to be a monologue, Bruce is going to, during that time when Hikaru barges in and tries to trailblaze, Bruce is gonna do a quick attack to try to just snag the orb off the mantle and like look like he didn't move and shove the orb in his bag.
Speaker: oh Okay, yeah, go ahead and roll me just go just go roll hole fuck I can't speak roll a flat the twenty I need a 15 or higher. I'll oh for fuck's sake give you are in a dc 15 You are in the possession of the orb you zap to the mantle zap back he didn't notice a thing oh yeah you have the orb No.
Speaker: How the hell did you guys track me down? I've spent so long trying to find the perfect place in order to, you know, get away from you guys, find somewhere low to lay, and finally deal with this shit.
Speaker: And he, like, pulls the object ah from behind his back that he had behind him. And you see it is a Kevlar armor plate with the word plot on it. You see, you could not have killed me, for I had plot armor.
Speaker: Oh, my God. Oh, no. No, he has the plot armor. The amount of face bombing I just had to do.
Speaker: Do you have any idea how long it took me- or how long I've been wanting to do that? Oh my goodness. So we gotta steal his plot armor now?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're you're lucky. Fucking Silver gave these to us when ah she sent us out on these missions and boy have these things come in handy. I've already run through a couple of them already, but man, I've never seen one shatter faster than when your buddy over there, he gestures out towards the front.
Speaker: Yeah, I know he's out there. He sends me! He sends the TV! Oh no. oh no Wait, how do you know he's out there? He can sense me.
Speaker: He pulls out his GBA and he says, your fucking Earth-a-Rig told me like three hours ago when you guys arrived. It was TNT, you bitch! Dynamite, TNT, whatever.
Speaker: It's explosive and it hurt. so But it didn't atomize you like it was supposed to. okay Well, no. No, Silver's very good at this, and... The fuckhead, she doesn't give gifts out very often, but when she does, they are pristine quality. And I gotta say, this shit is coming handy so often, and I'm gonna use it to fuck you up.
Speaker: And it is with this, we are going to commence battle next time. Because I don't have the proper shit set up for a battle today, so we're doing this next time. ah So that is where we're going to end this episode.
Speaker: have been Dakota. Your PM, your GM, your GM. And I've been Hikaru. Bitch! What is your today, Ablen? What is your energy today, Ablen?
Speaker: that it ah And I've been Eli playing Bruce. I've been Jacob playing the confused Walter this episode. The child-friendly Walter.
Speaker: Child-friendly Walter. Okay. We will see you guys next time.
Speaker: Hello and welcome to the end section. Go check out the Discord, which is down in the description, along with our Patreon. As for the music for this episode, we have MagnaGate, Route 111, Stealthy Snoop, Dewford Town, Flo-Roma Town, at the end of the day, and come on in to Post Town.
Speaker: Thank you, and we'll see you guys next time.
