Arc 3 - Episode 9 - Da Spooky Forest

Transcript

Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome to A Path Through Time. My name is Dakota, your PM, your DM, your GM. And sitting to my left is someone who still believes that salting water will make it boil faster.

Speaker: Salting water, yes. Yes, salting water happens to lower the specific heat of of water. And so that makes it, you know, require less energy to boil.

Speaker: That is a scientifically proven fact. I am 110% sure of it. i I do want to interject. I don't know that's actually true or not.

Speaker: i think it's the opposite. because like i know salt like lowers the freezing point of water. or Sorry, raises the freezing point. Lower the freezing point of water.

Speaker: But I've never actually seen any like and anything scientific about... Nerd. Shut up. I've never salted my water and I've never seen a difference because my mom used to do it and I didn't I never saw a difference. so i was actually genuinely curious to see what your opinions were on that.

Speaker: But anyway, continue. So actually, according to Google, saltwater has a slightly lower specific heat than pure water, meaning for every like for every degree Celsius that you raise the temp that you raise the temperature, it requires less energy to go up one degree than pure water.

Speaker: However, saltwater has a higher boiling point. oh i don't know about like going from room temperature to the boiling point i don't know if i don't know which has which takes more energy overall um actually it depends on your elevation yeah welcome to the obscure fact this um channel when we talk about obscure facts Yeah, this is a- we should start like a cooking channel where we start- where we like, um, you know, talk about food chemistry and specific heat.

Speaker: We had monkey news, now we'll have monkey chefs. Yeah. And- wait Will we have Gordon Ramsay Gordon? Ramsay Gordon.

Speaker: The Lickin' Lickin', right? Yes. Yes? I think so. Yeah, I think so. And to my left is the executive producer of our new food channel.

Speaker: Yep, that's me. I'm Eli. You will see our new food channel coming out on Patreon in the next 27,000 years. And yeah, sometimes good luck.

Speaker: And sitting across from me is someone who baked a who baked some loaves of pumpkin bread to start our cooking channel today. Fun fact, I've never had pumpkin bread.

Speaker: don't think I have either. You guys are missing out. I've had zucchini bread. Now that stuff's good. Zucchini bread's good. Pumpkin bread, especially with chocolate chips in it, delicious.

Speaker: It sounds good. Oh boy. If only I could. And yes, I made this complete loaf I've never had. I've um... I killed a lot of people to get- mean, I bartered with a lot of people to get this.

Speaker: What part of the intro were we on? I completely forgot. The end where I said- just introduced- Where we just forgot to introduce my name. It's a tradition at this point. Alright, take it away Jake. I think we're on you?

Speaker: think- You just done with me! Wait, no, no, it's it just e who everyone who do you introduce? Oh, oh, it's Eli. We've been doing this for so long. that's not first time messing up the intro. We haven't recorded in like a month and a half. Okay.

Speaker: We who's we? We created the money. i Fuck me. I, I haven't recorded like a month and a half. Not at least not with the full cast.

Speaker: life's been hard lately okay Time to roll for recap! I think we completely skipped Eli's intro! He went! No, her we didn't! Did we?

Speaker: No, Evelyn said that I was the one who's gonna be launching our show! I thought that was Jake, because then Jake started saying stuff. That's it, Jake!

Speaker: Okay, Jake. Well, actually, before we get into that, I do need to say something. I am sorry for not posting regular episodes um for the last couple episodes. Recording, like I briefly mentioned earlier, has been really hard for us lately.

Speaker: getting everyone together. So we've been trying our best. The co-hosts have been making stuff when I'm not available. I'm making stuff when people aren't available. I am trying my hardest to get content out to you guys, but getting all four of us together has been really fucking hard lately, especially with some major life changes that are happening in my life.

Speaker: won't be getting into right now so uh with that being said the show not going anywhere episodes will come out when we can make them and when we can't make them we'll get you some side content out but with that being said jake go ahead and give us a random move wait no no no not the random move fuck god i okay i don't know how to do this fucking intro we're doing recap everyone roll for recap i know what i'm doing i swear think you should do recap after failing twice i The thing is, I think I remember most of the recap.

Speaker: I wonder if that's gonna come back to bite me, isn't it? Four. You got a four? I also got a four. got a four. One. One! Alright, Jake, you're doing a recap.

Speaker: Because I also got a one. You match with me. I don't i remember. I wasn't even in the last full episode. Not... Last campaign episode. You were definitely there. right concert hall Oh, yeah. Where were we?

Speaker: Fucking Christ. Oh, right. We were ripping off that um boy band.

Speaker: Justin Bibarel. Justin Bibarel. Right. Last time on Pokemon.

Speaker: i um I definitely did not forget our whole title, but right now I just forget our Wow, so you just lumped us out in with the main company.

Speaker: Last time on Nintendo Pokemon. didn't realize I was responsible for the entire company of Pokemon. We got offered a job Shite Shady... um ah fuck What Pokemon was it again? um Inteleon that little skinny leg little conniving little thing um we got paid to rip off a few songs um of evelyn's crush um yeah uh hikaru's um one of her favorite musicians justin b beryl

Speaker: Yes, we have photos of her being in one of those lions asking for an autograph with hearts hearts over her eyes.

Speaker: Honestly, I can see it. Anyway, we went there. We, um... Oh, God, I forgot about the racism. Oh, God. was wondering if you were going to mention that. We had some fighting-type racism with a flying... What was it, Zubat or a Golbat?

Speaker: A Zubat. I think was Zubat. It was one of those two. Um, Walter may have, um, scammed them after we got a... What did we... i forget. What did we scam him with?

Speaker: Uh, I think you're used TMs. Right, yes. a No, yes, we did try to sell our used TMs. Yeah, you tried to pass them off as records. Try. i Succeeded.

Speaker: You got to get some bit of money out of that. And so you did. um Evelyn got to enjoy concert. And then called security on the guy. Yeah. Then we called security. but oh yeah, because the security was also a fighting type.

Speaker: So that just fueled them to hunt down the zoo bat even more, one fighting time to another. um we recorded a few songs, almost getting caught. Somehow we chose exactly right when to hide and when not to.

Speaker: We got incredibly lucky there. guys did get really lucky. um You also managed to get like half decent recordings. Yeah, we only failed once.

Speaker: Um, Evelyn just, I don't know, was just doing the crowd's wave and in the middle of it with the lighter and the air. Yeah, and she was, uh, she was, and think, standing next to another Pokemon that kept, like, ripping off their shirts.

Speaker: Oh right, i yes. um We eventually got out of the concert and got met with the Inteleon, and he gave us some boots. Some special boots, if I remember, called Thunder's boots, which will give us invisibility as payment.

Speaker: um We tried to find him afterwards, and... um Did we find him? Didn't we find it but he got away anyway? think he just disappeared, yeah. He slunks out into the alleyway.

Speaker: We saw him jumping over a wall.

Speaker: He's a wall. Yeah, and um or

Speaker: yeah and Hikaru went backstage to meet Justin. Justin. Oh right, with he was it kind of felt really awkward wait what was going on back there. Yeah, I don't know what's in that box.

Speaker: Yeah, Hikaru got offered to deliver a box, which is very weird, to offer a random fan. hey I'll give you money if you go do this for me. Well, he couldn't even offer money. He just off he just offered street cred, basically.

Speaker: Yeah, I think it was just I think it was just if you deliver this quest, if you deliver this box for me, we'll, you know, talk about what we'll talk about, like, writing a song together or like Hikaru writing a song for him. I feel like we're we're going to his dealer to pay the dealer off?

Speaker: I forgot who the recipient was supposed to be. I think it was a Geodude. I know that, but I don't remember if his name was Chris Rock or if I had like an actual Pokemon name for him. Chris Geodude.

Speaker: Was his name actually Chris Geodude? Okay. Or Chris the Geodude in Snowdrift. Would have been funny if his name was Chris Geodude and he was just like a jigglypuff or something. ah

Speaker: Yeah. Alright, what happened next, Jake? I'm pretty sure that's when we ended. ah Pretty close. You guys were about to head into the spooky forest.

Speaker: Spooky. Of spookiness. Of spookiness. Oh great! A fighting type going into a spooky force that's definitely not full of ghost types.

Speaker: Good thing you don't just have fighting type moves anymore. Yeah, good thing I kinda got... I'm glad I got a bunch of punch moves that not counted as fighting. In fact, I only have one fighting move.

Speaker: Which what? I know you have the elemental, so then... Force Palm! I have Steel, Fire, Ice, Electric, and Fighting moves. Oh yeah, feel like you guys have five moves. I have the gauntlet of... I have the Infinity Gauntlet, basically. Infinity Gauntlet.

Speaker: You push a button to change your different elements. The Power Stone is definitely the fighting type move. Okay. Alright, cool. Go ahead and give us a random move and we will jump on in.

Speaker: And the move is not jump.

Speaker: Let us dig on in. Alright, let- we actually might have done that one before. Well, regardless, we are digging on in. So, you guys are entering spooky forest.

Speaker: Cue the spooky music. catch This is very funny. and This is close to Halloween. Well, that was the intention the last time. Okay. but playerer Quick tangent. All right. Halt. You guys are going to the force here. Quick tangent.

Speaker: When we recorded last episode, I was like, oh, wow, this is coming. This episode should be released at like the beginning of October. And I was like, I'm going to have him go into a spooky forest and have spooky shenanigans.

Speaker: And then here it is. What what is the day like? nineteen October 19th. and We're just now recording it. like Jesus Christ. So I'm... I think I'll be able to get this edited and recorded or edited and submitted by the next weekend. So it should still come out the weekend before Halloween. So it's going to be the spooky episode. But I barely got that in time. So here we are. you guys are entering the spooky forest.

Speaker: And you guys are entering the spooky forest. Sorry, the spooky forest. And in front of you you, guys are seeing a lot of dead trees. The world around. Oh, you guys are also heading into the spooky forest in the middle of the night. Let's not forget about that.

Speaker: You guys have the option to wait until daytime, but you're just like, fuck it. Spooky forest in the middle of the night. This is what we need. To be fair, it's evening. is the start of the night as we're entering forest. You guys step foot in that forest and just like in a movie, the fucking night time just slams down.

Speaker: It is dead midnight right now. just Does that howl just come out nowhere? Yeah, just like Ocarina of Time. Just to signify that it is in fact nighttime.

Speaker: And all those damn skeletons are coming up out of the ground. So, you guys enter the spooky forest. I have said that like four times now. There's lots of dead trees. There's fog emanating off the ground everywhere around you. Visibility is low.

Speaker: You hear owls hooting off in the distance. It's... You mean hooting? i Yes, yes. What's an owl? don't know what you're talking about. Maybe they're Rollins. They're howling at night. They're howling at night.

Speaker: i love how

Speaker: he Yes, Eli says, oh no, we stepped through a time rift that took us three hours hit into the future. it only 9pm? It was something like that. I don't care. It's semantically better if it's midnight. So it's midnight now. Sorry,

Speaker: ah I'm choking over here. Alright, Eli, Eli. dead Dead trees. No fire. No fire. Can we get like a thunderstorm here real quick so that all these... Thunder Clorox down onto the ground. A lightning bolt strikes meters away from exploding the air around you.

Speaker: Like a flash? like i could Like I could probably get us a i could get us an electro ball to illuminate the way.

Speaker: don't yeah i could i could do I could do both. I could make a thunder and not fire the light. uh uh with your fire punch thunder punch yeah yeah we and how long yeah can we not see anything is there no no light at all uh you got it's it's low visibility like you guys can basically see the path in front of you guys but it's low visibility because of the fog so all right i'm lighting my back how good is our natural night vision yeah I'm just say you guys have, like, you guys can see, like, a good, like, 20 feet down the road before the fog takes over, so you guys can, like, see around you. Like, you can see your general surroundings, you can see of the trees and everything around, but, like, it's mostly the fog that's obscuring you.

Speaker: Okay, then I'm not lighting my black flames because that's just gonna be beacon the fog. We don't need, we don't need we don't need to be broadcasting where we are at the moment.

Speaker: So... Yeah, probably a good idea. Whose idea was it again to come out here? and this dark forest? I think it's a collective. We all agreed. Well, I will remind you you guys, you guys are heading towards Breezehome, and this is the path towards Breezehome.

Speaker: Breezehome city, not Breezehome, not Breeze the character's home. Oh, yes. I've heard that joke before.

Speaker: Yeah, I think we just made a dumb decision to move the plot along. Probably. Sounds about right. oh Let's get this over with my eyes.

Speaker: Oh, you're scrappy. You don't mind a nice dark forest, right? We fine types don't like creepy stuff. It usually leads to ghosts.

Speaker: Ah, you'll be fine. You got those elemental punches now. I don't know if these still count they'll work against them. I haven't used them against a ghost. All I know is I don't, we fighting types don't usually, don't mix with ghosts.

Speaker: Oh, we haven't actually seen any ghosts here yet. If we get through here quick, maybe we won't see any. Um. Walter's hair is like completely just standing up. Like, he is just like shaking from his legs down.

Speaker: Confident man! He's scared of ghost types. like all Alright, new knowledge unlocked. Walter is terrified of ghosts.

Speaker: Big macho man scared of ghosts. Okay. So you guys ah start walking down this path. And at first, there's not really much of a note around you guys.

Speaker: You guys take this path. It's like twisty and turning all through the forest. And it's just gray dead trees all around you. Eventually, you guys in the distance see um a bit of like a flickering flame.

Speaker: And as you guys get closer, you guys see a what kind of looks like a lemonade stand almost, like a a vendor's stand basically. um And you see a Oh, I forgot the name of that Pokemon. What's that like gremlin Pokemon, the demon one from Gen 8? Grimsnarl?

Speaker: Yes. Yes. that That's the final of all four. No, not that one. What's one before that? Impidim? several Yeah, we'll go with Impidim. Impidim is the basic one.

Speaker: but there a second one? shit moregra Morgrim. That's that the middle one.

Speaker: What? Morgrim Forgehammer? What is that?

Speaker: ah do you spell Morgrim?

Speaker: Yeah, we can do it. that That one looks better. Let's go Morghum. Alright, got it. So, you guys see a stand that is governed by a Morghum. And she sees you approaching.

Speaker: And... Well, actually, are you guys approaching? you guys see the You guys can see the Pokemon and the flames um down the path. ah I will leave ah believe that decision to you guys. What do you guys do?

Speaker: Walt is like, uh-uh, uh-uh. Is there a table that they're at, or is it just them? Imagine lemonade stand, but with torches on either side, and there's a Morgrim there, except they're not selling the lemonade. You don't know what they're selling.

Speaker: Oh, come on, guys. This is such a trap. Yeah, it sounds like bad news. We're gonna get so trapped or cursed. We cannot. No! Nah. It looks kind of cool in, like, a badass goth way.

Speaker: Yeah, I know trouble when I see it, And that looks like trouble to me. Listen, I'd usually be like, okay, sure, but not in this forest. No.

Speaker: No, thank you.

Speaker: Let's see. Is there a way that we can walk past without being seen? Like, is there a row of trees that we can walk behind?

Speaker: Um, what I'm gonna s- I'm gonna say you guys can try and sneak around through the tree line, but because it's fog and stuff, you guys will have to roll s- I'm not gonna make you guys roll disadvantage. Uh, go- You guys can all three roll stealth, but if one of you guys fails, you guys will, like, break twig or something.

Speaker: Hmm. Can i roll insight? Because I'm actually just curious about this person. Um, sure. ahead and roll insight. Okay, that's a duty plus two.

Speaker: Nat 20. oh What do I even give you about this? Oh, fuck. I don't have much I can give it to you. It's a Morgram. They don't seem to be selling any specific thing.

Speaker: They look like they're there waiting for people to arrive there, as if they're not selling items, but selling a service. a service.

Speaker: But are they like, do they have ulterior motives? Are they like... With a nat 20, I'll say they don't seem like they're trying to hurt anyone. They seem like they're genuinely trying to offer a service.

Speaker: Guys, I think I have a good vibe about this. A good feeling about this morgram. They are... Dark type, so if that there could always be hidden ulterior motives, especially because they're also a fairy type, but you say you have a good vibe.

Speaker: If they're willing to like help guide us through the forest breeze home, they could be helpful but against any ghost types we find. That's true.

Speaker: Yeah, i think I think we'd be better... i think we, you know, if there's any locals in this forest who are willing to help, like, you know, who are nice... Like, I don't see i don't see why we should... I mean, you know, it's a matter of trusting them, but like I do feel like I can trust them.

Speaker: Who sets up a shop in here if they're not shady?

Speaker: I just want to point out that that's really funny. You see like a literal demon sitting up shop in the middle of a spooky foggy forest and Hikaru's first instinct goes, this is the most trustworthy person I've seen all day.

Speaker: it's because she's not typist.

Speaker: Yeah. I mean, but half, oh, okay. Yeah, guess there is. almost like she's half demon in another life. oh. Uh oh. Cough cough.

Speaker: Okay. So I will ask a stereotypical DM question. What do you guys do?

Speaker: If you want to go talk to them, you can... We're going to try to stay out of sight, I think.

Speaker: Yeah, you guys can stay back if you want. I'm going to go up. Okay. So you go up to this stand and this lady sees you walk up. She goes, ah, my sweet dear. my Hello there. Welcome to my stand. what do you request What do you require or want for me?

Speaker: For I have something to give to you, but what do you have for me? hi

Speaker: I'm not sure. What are you offering?

Speaker: I am offering a very special blessing, but there are many ways in which you can pay me. You can give me gold of which I will never run out. You can give me knowledge of which I can use to my advantage.

Speaker: Or I can give you a curse.

Speaker: Huh. In transaction for a blessing.

Speaker: Well, unfortunately, I don't have... I mean, we're just trying to... We're just trying to meet... I'm just trying to navigate through this forest pretty, like, safely. I know it gets pretty dark here, and I don't know what kind of creepy crawly monsters are in this forest, but... i want you to go ahead and roll deception.

Speaker: I had her roll insight to see if she noticed the Wii you put in there.

Speaker: Oh boy. Deception is... 12. 12? She got 15. We, you say? Hmm. Are there others in your party?

Speaker: Perhaps they sent you forth because they were too scared to see me? Hmm? Um... Well, it depends. um that' That's not a... That's a solid yes or no question. um... You're... You're a morgrim, right? you're you're You're like a dark fairy, think.

Speaker: She looks is just like, you're serious, right? Like... Well, I know that i know that not all I know that not all dark types are malicious.

Speaker: I know that. And I... She is giving you the hardest steroid now, like, continue?

Speaker: When that one princess swear, I'm not racist.

Speaker: Is that her like, cackle? ah We can go with that. yeah It's like she's not even evil, she just cackles like an evil laugh. Wait, do I have an evil cackle? Is that what we're saying here?

Speaker: No, no, the character. Viewers, I just wanted to ask you this. Anyone else memorizing the witch? The Trillrish from Baldur's Gate 3. The Swamp Witch, that's all I'm thinking of.

Speaker: I don't remember that. I played Baldur's Gate 3, but don't remember that. It's just the witch that offers you deals, but with a curse. Oh, is that a thing? Yes! If that's a thing, that was... Oh, that was not my intention. I didn't... Okay.

Speaker: Well... Well, um... Well, my sweetie, what is it? Are there more of you, or are you in alone? For it seems like you're faltering on this question.

Speaker: Um... I'm... ah Okay, you can just drop the pretense. You can just say yes. Uh, yes. There are others with me. Yeah, that's what I figured.

Speaker: ah Okay, well, I am of no threat to you guys. So, tell them come out and I will offer you guys a deal. Okay, you guys can come out.

Speaker: Alright. Walter ain't moving. He's staying behind a tree.

Speaker: Uh, hold on. I want, uh, does she see where, so Bruce is coming out, right? Uh, Bruce is looking to Walter see if he's willing to come out.

Speaker: And it's considering he's looking planted quite firmly behind the tree, Bruce bruce is just going to walk out and try to play it like he's the only other one.

Speaker: okay so uh she sees you come out from behind in the tree and she's gonna look in that direction i'm gonna see if she also sees walter can roll hide um stealth yeah yeah roll stealth i had her roll uh perception i don't have a character schaffer so it's just a fly roll 19. she rolled an eight so she doesn't notice you but she sees bruce there

Speaker: So she looks but she goes looks back to you and is this all of your company? Surely you wouldn't come out here with just two. and Well, did say guys.

Speaker: I'm more suspicious than most. So I tend to not trust people when I just meet them, especially in a like dark forest with spooky vibes.

Speaker: I don't know what you're talking about. This is they a perfectly reasonable place to have business deals.

Speaker: Yeah, there is a there is a third one of us, but he's a little bit afraid of the forest right now. Okay, so she looks back to the tree that you were hiding behind, and she just sees you, like, shaking.

Speaker: She just sees the tree branch is shaking because he's literally just acting like he has a tree branch. Like, just full Scooby-Doo, just holding tree branch is shaking. You're shaking in fear and it's causing it to be the only shaking tree in the entire forest.

Speaker: It was like dead obvious where you are move Like, like, I know this, I know this place is kind of, is like kind of scary, but you know, there's always, okay.

Speaker: okay just has scary vibes and you know, it's midnight. But if we were- my goodness, look at the hour. Well, we better get this deal good up quick so I can head home.

Speaker: where's Where's home for you? and ah Somewhere. get the swamp. You'll never find it. I'm guessing my swamp with my singular black hat. Black cat.

Speaker: Wait. Forget about that. A glamio? so Yeah. Litten's a black cat. Litten was the one I was thinking of, but there's not really a thing of pets in this universe.

Speaker: i don't know. Yeah, i don't see why there would be pets. Well, forget about that. She's gonna get there. Alright, so see she beckons to you with a single finger. Come out, my dear.

Speaker: We will make a deal together.

Speaker: Don't really why would we need a deal? We're kind of in a good run right now.

Speaker: You have no idea what powers I can give you for the smallest agreement. The smallest? What's your price? You mentioned some gold. I require fathomable masses of gold.

Speaker: i I can take mass amounts of knowledge to make myself powerful. Or I can bestow upon you three a curse in in exchange for a wonderful blessing.

Speaker: Like a blessing and a curse? Yes, I will bestow upon you both a blessing and a curse. Although they are separate and not in any way related whatsoever. Hmm...

Speaker: Well, like I said, I don't have gold, but I am carrying other things. And what other things do you have? I've got a bunch of grimy food I can give you.

Speaker: You still have that? Please let him roll negotiation. Maybe they like it. got Maybe they like it, but you're just slump people. go ah what are you Go ahead and roll persuasion with disadvantage. No, come on, let me try. Can I give advantage? Can we give him a leafy hand?

Speaker: It's a grimy food, and she wants wealth or knowledge, and you gave her piles of moldy food.

Speaker: Oh, dang. What? What's- Oh, that's cute. Oh, I got 6 minus 1, 5. Okay, she got a 15. She's like, what the? Okay, you're you're you're a weird one. I'm going back to you. She looks back like she's tired. to back to Trubbish. We to find Trubbish to give this to.

Speaker: What do you have for us? for For me? Well, I have pineapple and petcha berries that i could I could make you i can make you a cocktail with them.

Speaker: Do you want one bundle of TNT?

Speaker: you say a bundle of TNT? What? I got a few of them. You want a bundle? No, if I had unfathomable wealth or unfathomable knowledge, I could make my own TNT or buy many more TNTs.

Speaker: Well, you could sell it on the black market. ah Why do you just assume I have access to the black market? Well, looking around. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Who doesn't have access to the black?

Speaker: i mean Yeah, who doesn't? There's a whole lot about characters.

Speaker: Hey, we've only killed few people. we literally just um We literally just made a deal with a guy with a guy in the next town over to to make some bootlegs.

Speaker: Some so concert bootlegs. So, yeah. What gave you a transfer orb? What if I gave you transfer orb? if had unfasmable- You need give me something that can't get with unfasmable wealth or unfasmable knowledge.

Speaker: what if i gave you a transfer orb what would you give me for that

Speaker: i had on fast to give me something that i can't get with unfathomable wealth or unfathomable knowledge Or else I can offer you a curse. What do you know about rifts?

Speaker: Rifts?

Speaker: What kind of rifts?

Speaker: Rifts of the space-time variety. Well, yeah, everyone knows about those, but what about, like, other rifts?

Speaker: Yeah, those are the rifts that I know about. Oh, yeah, well that's just like standard freshman college level knowledge, so... Next. What? Wait. Are those not the rifts that are like somewhat secret that are just popping up and we don't know what the heck are they doing?

Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah, I know exactly why those are happening. But I'm not gonna tell you. What have you got to give me? how about that That was what I had to give you.

Speaker: You weren't supposed to know about those. Nobody what is supposed to know about those. But how we supposed to give infallible? We're supposed to get unfathomable wealth. Unfathomable wealth is like a million bogey. Like, jeez, 17k? I could make that work on a fucking 9-to-5 job for five days.

Speaker: Wait, wait, you're saying that we have gold on us? This idiot just said we did. Any point? Is that Walter? have on you. Wait, wait. Wait, but that these are all... Above board, one second. These are all these are gold coins? Okay, gold, whatever. I don't know. What do you mean? yeah i mean i just like you You said gold, so I assumed that you wanted us to give you gold. and we had like there were There was like a quest before where we had like gold nuggets.

Speaker: was like a D&D brain still. ah Still the most part of But... Look, I'm gonna real simple with you. I really want to give you a curse in exchange for a really wonderful blessing.

Speaker: but I can tell you don't have the... I'll offer you deal. I will can tell you either the curse or the blessing, but not both.

Speaker: And if you tell us the curse, we get to refuse it, right? um We'll see about that. that's fair. so the No, we're not dropping the fact you just say you think about it.

Speaker: Okay, fine, fine. ya Yeah, yes. You can refuse it if you wish. Alright. Tell me the curse. Yeah, tell us the curse. You will have the curse of the gods.

Speaker: The gods, at one point, at any point are they deem worthy, may take control of your body for one instance and change a fact about you. Above board, what this means is um for each of you guys, I will be able to turn any of your rolls into a nat 1, and there's nothing you guys can do about it. This will persist for the entire campaign. Just once? once for each of us? Yes, only once.

Speaker: Once for of you. once. Or a nat 20 if the gods want. Because it's what the gods want, and the gods... do not say what the gods want.

Speaker: but when i But what I can say is what I wish to impart on you. Do you accept?

Speaker: oh I'm just saying this out both ways. Kind of a lame curse. I wish we learned the good part.

Speaker: it's like just tipping

Speaker: By the way, I know going save mine for either my transfer orb or for my nine bundles of TNT for a boss fight. You're going to save that in at one. and never know. Okay. Okay, if we accept, will you tell us the good part? and Even better, i will hand it to you.

Speaker: Let's Can we all have to accept? Or can some of us accept and some of us not? It is one item for all three of you. One item to be shared amongst the three of you.

Speaker: Hmm... Okay. So this this blessing is an item, but the curse is just- You're not getting any more info out of me. Accept or deny. Discuss.

Speaker: I say yes. Why don't we just punch her and take it? yeah Oh boy. i mean, i do know play rough. That's super effective. I know force palm. no That's neutral because Dark and Fairy.

Speaker: Oh, okay. i could just I could just stun her. I have multiple moves of Freeze, Paralyze, Burn, and para and just Paralyze again. Yeah, but you're fighting. She's Fairy.

Speaker: met Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunder Punch.

Speaker: None of those are super effective. that's true I forgot I hate this Pokemon just because of its type. True. I forgot- I hate this Pokemon. just hate fighting against it.

Speaker: boy. I to say Pokemon wipe me before in a Pokemon game. is Okay, so let's let's do some pros-cons here.

Speaker: Pros, we get blessing, cons... Walter doesn't ever get to use his TNT again until Dakota forgets about this curse.

Speaker: Well, believe me, you won't there's a reason for this curse.

Speaker: Here's the thing, I wish we could just say, some people say yes, some people say no. Because I want to say no, because I got two items that could really help us in a boss fight, but Dakota can just say, nope, not one.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. That was what specifically why I asked if we could have some say yes and some say no. Probably they don't give me the item. but They just always hold on to it. I just say no.

Speaker: It's one item to be shared between the three of you. All three of you have to accept because all three of you will benefit from it. Can roll perception to see if I can tell?

Speaker: Can we trade item for item? The item nearby? Tell what, Evelyn? If I can see the item nearby. Um, ah you don't need a real perception for that. No, she does not have it on sight.

Speaker: Can I, um, try negotiating with her, like, can we make a trade for an item? That's very powerful as well. Are you saying this? Yes. She looks at her like, so I find it very amusing that I can put a curse on you.

Speaker: Hmm. That is the payment I get out of this. So, for you to put curses on people, do they have to agree to your stuff? Like, does it have to be, like, both ways agreeing for this to happen, or can you just do it? Well, i mean I mean, I could put a curse on you, and then you not take the item, if that's what you wish.

Speaker: About Void, I was just thinking, like, if she has to have us agree to it, then I'm just jumping her right now. Okay. You do you. You do yeah you know you do you you do So I'm just saying, you're smart man Dakota. We're getting the curse no matter what. I know. Is what I'm getting out of this. I'm just saying, smart man Dakota, you made it way we don't have to agree to it for it to work.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I don't want to agree to it, but like what if it's like, yeah they actually have she has an orb? Because she's brightly and just said, yeah I know all about it. About the rift. So what if it's an orb?

Speaker: But it has to be something that's going to be benefiting all three us. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Aurasense. I want to see if I can get a residue of Good choice.

Speaker: Go ahead and use your Aurasense. We have made a thing where and it's not the exact same, but I can pick up trace amounts of orb stuff from it. No, yeah, go for it. I want you to roll, what roll was it? Perception?

Speaker: ahead and roll Perception with advantage. Arcana. Yeah, Arcana makes sense.

Speaker: Perception is that... How is Arcana on there? So Arcana is smart, I believe. Okay. So... Natural 20 minus 1. Okay.

Speaker: So, what you get is you can tell there's a godly sense in this area. You cannot tell like exactly what it is, but whatever it is, it was blessed by the actual gods.

Speaker: Ohhhh... But since you got a nat 20, think I'll also add... Is it like the Since you got a nat 20, I will also add this in. You can tell it was also cursed by the gods.

Speaker: So it's not an orb. Unless... Was one of the orbs Geratina? Uh, yeah, you guys know that now. It's the three, It is the three... Okay, yeah, that would make sense if it was Curse and Giratina's one.

Speaker: Yeah, okay, so it's it's the Giratina orb, then. It's possibly the Giratina orb, or just a really OP item that has a really good effect and really bad effect. Yeah.

Speaker: You know what? I'm willing to say yes this deal, but i'll just be I'm going to make things so hard that Dakota's just going to want to use that nat 1 against me early. and Exactly. just You just have to get a bunch of things that Dakota wants to use the nat 1 on before you use the TNT. I just need to get another kind of transfer orb, so I have two to throw.

Speaker: Jesus. Alright, I'm gonna take this deal because we need to get some work aroundund progress on this orb stuff. Alright, back into character then.

Speaker: What do you guys think then? Well, you only live once. I... Do you guys know when my eyes turn blue for Orasense? Like, do we note note that? and That Walter's like... oh No, milk that's kind of fun. i like that.

Speaker: It's like every every show I've seen where they use like a sensing ability to eyes change color and like bright. Yeah, I could see that, yeah. Yeah, i that's fun, I like that. yeah I assumed that Waldrard told us that he was using Orisense and what he found. Morgrem sees your eyes light up, and as you look at her, she gives you the wisest smile.

Speaker: Guys, I think it's worth it! Hold the bells, boys!

Speaker: Either way, I'm outvoted at this point. Well, I guess you can take it, Hikari. You guys feel your souls vibrate within yourselves.

Speaker: Oh no, you're soul balance. you feel the curse take hold, a cold shiver runs down your spine. As you know, that gods have a tether in your bodies now.

Speaker: Very good. Alright. This is the fun part. too And she hands you guys a deck of cards. Oh my gosh.

Speaker: She's going to hand it to Eli. But I'm going to post this in our teacher's lab so you all can see it. Fuck. I had this copied and pasted. Hold on.

Speaker: This is better. This is better than the orb. Okay, yeah, if this is actually the legendary deck... Eli, I want you to read this.

Speaker: There you go, I'm going to post some the Seatrass Lounge. The deck of many possibilities is a magical deck of cards consisting of 20 cards that has the possibility of making you powerful beyond your wildest dreams or causing a mass genocide.

Speaker: Use with extreme caution. Roll a d20 and refer to the DM. If you pull out a card, its effect will immediately take effect.

Speaker: Any attempt to replace the card back in the deck will result in the card forcibly exiting the deck of its own accord, forcing the effect to come true.

Speaker: If multiple cards are drawn, they will take effect in the order that they are drawn, or rather, in the order you roll. Inspiration or any form of re-rolling does not apply to this deck.

Speaker: All pulls are final. This is based on the Deck of Many Things from D&D. However, this... I have customized this one to be Mystery Dungeon specifically.

Speaker: Specify... whatever. ah So this... um I will say this up front. There is a 40% chance of extremely terrible things happening.

Speaker: And there's a 60% chance of extremely good things happening. Great. So we get a curse plus bad things could happen.

Speaker: Yeah. Oh, wait. So does this mean that you can't make our rolls for the deck into that one? If I want to?

Speaker: ah No, I cannot. I cannot... It's price or any form of re-rolling, so no, it would not. Yeah, okay. yeah So at least we don't have to worry about Yeah. Huh.

Speaker: It looks interesting. What does it look like? any of you guys wish to demonstrate the power of the artifact? I'm down!

Speaker: Oh, i I was thinking no, not now. ah I'm good.

Speaker: Walter doing anything? If they don't want me to, I'm just not going to, um... Okay, let's, uh, let's demo it once. Oh, okay. well I'll be a volunteer.

Speaker: I'll volunteer the experiment. Bruce is stepping back several pieces. So, Roll a d20. You put your hand on the deck. There is no turning back now. 16. Okay. Okay.

Speaker: okay That was actually kind nerve-wracking because heart star on the ability every time you guys pull a deck, you guys have the ability to drastically change the direction of this entire campaign. Whoa. Oh, boy. 16. Jewels. Jewels.

Speaker: Each worth 10,000 Poke fall to your Hello. boy. fifteen joules each work ten thousand poke falled to your feet

Speaker: Whoa! Add that to my items. 15 gems. 10k each. So them amongst ourselves? That's up to Walter. is his gems.

Speaker: yes that is a hundred and fifty thousand po and now that card has been taken out of the deck

Speaker: so do we split them amongst ourselves and so to walter it is his ge

Speaker: I don't know, it doesn't really matter if we split them or not. I kind of hold most the cash anyway.

Speaker: That's true. you'll You'll just be the bank account for now. It's funny, and I'm not the rich kid. Although, if we split them up, if something happens to you, they're not all lost.

Speaker: Possibility. How about I'll take eight. and I mean, I'll take seven, you guys split eight between you two.

Speaker: you both get four. We each get four? Yeah. have ten k each. I'll take it. So right now we have about a hundred and fifty k The ah Morgram looks at you guys is like, oh the power, the power of the deck.

Speaker: if Is it worth it for you guys yet? You guys wish to draw another? i ain't pushing my luck. Okay, now I'm good.

Speaker: Okay, it's funny. The guy who does most of the money pulled the money card. Naturally. So, Bruce, you're never pulling this because you'll get the Incinerate card. Hey, that was little one.

Speaker: and And I still know it wasn't you who did it. Yeah, not entirely.

Speaker: Oh yeah, did you ever... Did Bruce ever find that out? I don't think you did. No, Bruce doesn't know. Okay. first So Bruce does still think that it was him. Yes. Yep.

Speaker: So yeah, his reaction is still... That was only once. It's only once. would have killed your father once. Oh, your abusive stepdad once.

Speaker: Oh, sorry, sorry. Allegedly killing him. We all know he's still alive. We all know he's still alive. Yeah, exactly. Still keeping this going on. He can't stop us All Well, thanks for the cards. So what are we down to like 19 cards?

Speaker: Yes, I wrote down number card number 16. I wrote that as down as re-roll. So if you roll 16, you will re-roll. So what are we down now? What are the odds for the good and bad? Because we had a 40... What is it now? 55? 45 and 55. Oh my gosh, let's not test our luck at this. Approximately.

Speaker: It's out of 19, so it's a little... Huh! Why does my inner-conscious think the high numbers are the good ones? Only one way to find out! Yeah, no!

Speaker: why not I ain't doing this deck again until desperate. Time to move on through the forest. Alright, Demorgram waves you goodbye.

Speaker: She's like, farewell my pretties. As you guys pass on through the forest. Anyone else think we should call the cops on her? they're walking away. Anyone else think we should get the arcanine buddy? You think the cops want to come in here? It's not in their... We're not in any town, right?

Speaker: There's no...

Speaker: yeah should we call Should we call a guild about a witch that's giving curses?

Speaker: I know there's cops, but there are guilds, guys. We can we can issue a guild request.

Speaker: Are there guilds? I thought it was just rescue teams. Well, imagine that like the state police would get have jurisdiction over the forest, even if it's not... I don't know. I don't want to go back to the whole argument of jurisdiction. Last Christmas.

Speaker: The last Christmas episode was like a whole, we had a court episode about whether or not the police has had jurisdiction. and I'm not doing much that. Yeah. Okay. I have no idea.

Speaker: It's just police corruption. They say what they can have what they want. Yeah, I think the police knows that there's potentially somebody who's cursing other people out in the forest and just don't want to deal with it. They don't want to cursed themselves.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: Anyway. Okay. Let's go. Okay. So, you guys are heading down the forest. $150,000, Richard. so you guys are heading down the forest a hundred and fifty thousand dollars richard Oh, Eli, since you pin I saw you pin that definition, you can add that to your character sheet if you wish.

Speaker: I think... I thought Kikaru was going to add it, because... Ah, however. of you guys has it. Yeah, I told Kikaru that she can take it. Okay. Take what?

Speaker: The deck of many possibilities. It's definitely not the deck of many things. Alright. I guess I'll take it. Okay. As you guys head down the forest path, eventually you guys hear some noise coming from down the path, and eventually you guys come to a roaring river.

Speaker: Um... Around you, you see a rickety, broken boat. And... The river is roaring too fast for you guys to cross by foot.

Speaker: And it is too wide for the same thing. So... So... and has been a bad village ba Anyone else getting a bad feeling about what might be in this water?

Speaker: ah can Can we pull an ash, catch him, and just rip a tree out of the ground and toss it into the... Honestly? Can Walter punch down a tree and try it?

Speaker: right role strengths Roll strength. Yeah, Walter, go. Let's go tough, plus three. Oh, I don't know if that'll be enough. Fifteen? the For the sake of you not beating my puzzle in one go, I'm gonna say no.

Speaker: You punch like halfway through the tree and you get to the core of the tree, which is for some reason made of solid iron. And it is too hard for you to punch. Hold on. It's like I punch a hole through it, but I'm like, well well, I punched a hole in it, but it went the wrong direction.

Speaker: And punched it it sideways. no I see you punched a hole through it, as in you your fist is now in the tree and the tree didn't move.

Speaker: huh This is one story. Little we know it's just a Trevenant and it's like, oooohhh! I like that. So what ended up happening is the tree you picked ended up being trevenant and he's just like, man, what was that for?

Speaker: I was just sleeping here, man. I'm not bothering anyone. Fine, I guess I'll go over there. Then he like sulks off to the other side of the, uh, he just walks off into the forest, pouting the whole way.

Speaker: from

Speaker: Dirty ghost.

Speaker: more Excuse me. What?

Speaker: ah wish I trying to make a joke that took dirty ghost time, but now I couldn't. i couldn't say that without dying. Okay. That's not what Walter says, but that was like just a dumb side joke.

Speaker: Okay, so what are you guys doing now?

Speaker: I can throw you guys across.

Speaker: He said it's too wide of a river. i carried saving I'll give you guys something a little bit to bite on. You guys hear a bit of like... a a No, you guys don't hear anything. You smell wood smoke.

Speaker: Eli, i mean, Bruce, did you burn something? Not me this time. I have my flames off this entire trip so far.

Speaker: Good. I don't wanna... Only we can prevent wildfires. Only you can prevent wildfires. Only you can prevent I feel like it's the opposite for us. Only you can cause wildfires. I like that. Smokey the Bear's like, only you can cause wildfires. He points at Bruce.

Speaker: It's in Ursaluna. Yeah. It comes out of nowhere. this way

Speaker: Smokey the Blood Moon Ursaluna. That doesn't have the same ring to it, but I love it. It doesn't go off the tongue. Okay,

Speaker: so you guys are next to a rising river. You got a broken boat and a smell of wood smoke in the air.

Speaker: Do we investigate the smoke, assuming it's somebody's home of some kind? cha um Or do we search for a bridge?

Speaker: Can we try to see if something's in the water? like Can we throw stuff in there, see if we can get any reaction in the water?

Speaker: Okay, so you're going to go up to the water. what are you doing with the water? don't know. I'm just going Is there like big rocks I can just chuck in, see if i can get a reaction? Like, is there anything in here? Oh, yeah. Sure, there's like rocks around.

Speaker: Yeah, going to go ahead throw a rock in? um so I'm just going start chucking rocks like, there anything living in here that we need to worry about? Uh, you go ahead and throw some rocks in and you see some steam coming off the rocks as they hit the water.

Speaker: Oh. So is that that the boat smoking? No, the boat is not smoking. You guys can see the boat. Is the boat in the water?

Speaker: No, it's sitting off on the shore. It's all broken and derelict. okay huh i'm not sure i trust a broken boat to carry us across okay you trust a fucking demon in the forest but yet don't trust the inanimate boat i didn't trust it until i got got until i looked and saw god sense well to be fair she was she ended up she did end up being kind of creepy she had a nice voice this boat can't speak

Speaker: Like, she I she wasn't. She had a nice voice. Stereotypical witch voice. What's funny is that's the exact voice of the witch from Baldur's Gate.

Speaker: That was like the exact kind of voice. yeah it's just It's just a stereotypical cackling witch of voice. his I swear I didn't steal from Baldur's Gate. I genuinely don't know what that's from.

Speaker: Alright, um... We search for a bridge or... oh wait. but usually sets them out All the trees here are dead, right?

Speaker: Yes. So can I just pull a branch off of the tree and throw it in? Sure. Maybe I'll throw it in. Maybe poke it

Speaker: Oh, I want to throw it in just in case something happens to it very quickly. Okay. So you go ahead and grab a branch, you toss it in, and as soon as it hits the water, the whole branch goes up in flames.

Speaker: Yep. That's about what expected. Wait, wait, wait. So this is funny. we I didn't think about all this being done. That means I punched a dead tree, so I probably just all obliterated. that what the smoke came from?

Speaker: mean, there's smoke coming from that branch. I don't know if it's the smoke that came from... think you guys are smelling it. And I use Walter's nose to follow the trail of that smell. Uh, sure, go ahead and roll per- Per- Investigation, yes, investigation, sir. Yeah.

Speaker: Um, is this a group thing? Do I get advantage, or Nah, just roll investigation. Uh... 10. Investigation, what's that? 9.

Speaker: Oh, you said a 9? Sorry. Yes. Uh, the only thing you're able to discern is that it's generally coming from upstream a little bit. So you guys can start heading in that direction.

Speaker: Man, if only we had someone who knew Surf.

Speaker: I'm not sure if my Slurf TM will help us.

Speaker: Yeah, I'm not too sure about that. I still don't trust that thing. Man, if only we Ice Beam, then we could just freeze the boat and just roll over.

Speaker: You do have ice punch. I don't think I'll do the same. i i don't think you'll have the same effect as Ice-B. Punch? You're punch the boat back together?

Speaker: but can fix it! We call that percussive maintenance. makes it feel it yeah we call that percussive maintenance Exactly, just punch the boat until all the bits are breaking are frozen.

Speaker: I don't think so, but yeah okay. Alright. Let's see. What happens if I throw an ember at the river?

Speaker: Oh. oh

Speaker: Okay, go ahead and try and light the river on fire, I guess. I mean, hey, it's that the river is lighting things on fire. if I can get it hot enough, can we just evaporate the river? How do people make a town this far with that don't have any trains, but not a bridge?

Speaker: They made a path, but they didn't make a bridge for this boiling water basically Well, I'm gonna guess that the thing that we're smelling smoke from is the bridge that it's probably currently burning in this river that's boiling for some reason.

Speaker: Did you say you were gonna put fire in the water? What? Oh yeah, he was gonna throw fire at the water. ah So you go ahead and throw an ember at the water and it doesn't really do anything, it kinda just dissipates when it hits the water.

Speaker: Okay, so it is still normal water-ish. yes i think It is water, at least. Alright, I'm gonna put my ice hand, use ice punch to freeze my hand, and slowly put it in the water, so you have fast it melts the ice.

Speaker: Uh, real quick question, what was the fucking name of the last town? um Shingalow City. Shingalow City, yes, thank you. That'll come up later, probably.

Speaker: So how fast my ice punch melt?

Speaker: Wait, hold on. What are you doing? You're punching the water? Yeah, um i just I'm slowly dipping my ice punch in. but want see How much health do you have? What? Oh my gosh. um mean It's like slowly just dipping the ice in. If it starts melting immediately... How much health do you have? 30. Roll d20 of damage.

Speaker: Jesus! As soon as you even slightly touch the water, your fist catches on fire and your fist starts melting away. I have fire punch, shouldn't my fizz be good to that? You should've just switched to fire punch as as it's done. we switched fire punch real quick.

Speaker: Yeah, your ice punch turned into fire punch. Yeah. but move Yeah, can i can we make that work? Uh, sure, but it doesn't do anything.

Speaker: It doesn't reduce the damage at all. no I'm so tempted to dip it back in, like, does my fire punch cancel it out? and but No. yeah What you can discern from this is that this water is not water, it is acid.

Speaker: oh but Wait, that caught stuff on fire?

Speaker: doesn't catch things on fire. It does in this fantasy world. Okay. Okay.

Speaker: Listen, we have a talking dog. It's like we're at River or something. We have talking dog. Wait! Oh my god! Yeah, this is actually based on the River Styx. Okay, I didn't want to be cheesy. I was going to say, is this the River of Hades?

Speaker: Well, that is the River Styx. I know, but I'm like, nah, I don't want to seem like a nerd. Yeah. Let's go investigate that smell, maybe? and Maybe that's a bridge that's maybe magically melting?

Speaker: well How much damage did Walter take, by the way? I don't think that was said on... 5 damage. Okay, you know Fair enough. What? You got a singed paw.

Speaker: I had a roll of d20 for damage. Let's go get that little Grimmigool or whatever Pokemon. Grimmigool? And throw it here.

Speaker: Okay. Morgram, you mean? ki Gimme? Did you just call him Gimme Goal? I said Gimme Goal, Grimmoal, whatever. good job.

Speaker: Okay. Okay, so what are you guys doing You guys have smoked out a rock, you guys have burnt a branch, you've burnt Walter's arm. Can we go follow that smell?

Speaker: Can we follow that smell I was smelling

Speaker: I don't want to burn anything else. Yeah, let's head upstream. Hold So there's no sign saying watch out for the acid river.

Speaker: That was acid?

Speaker: Yeah, he just said it was acid. So no signs, no people wanting like, hey, watch out for that acid river. Or come out to this town where you see the only acid river in existence.

Speaker: Hey, my best excuse is that the mayor of Shangri-La City side would make for a really good story. But there's no- But no stories to be told because there's no signs saying about it or promoting it. Because there's no- There's no survivors, that's why there's no stories.

Speaker: Oh goodness. Good thing you said this was rushing water. We're having upstream. probably going do it in the water by now.

Speaker: Good thing you said this was rushing water. You guys just jumped in the water? i don't know what I would do. you probably would have to scrap the acid idea just say I had a bunch of Pokemon in it.

Speaker: Well, at that point, I probably would have turned into a boiling water and have you guys' skins scalded, but yeah. That's along the lines of what I would do. Anyway, can i follow that smell upstream?

Speaker: Yes. You guys walk up the stream, and eventually you come to a stone hut. Um, that is, that has a, uh, smoke coming out of the chimney.

Speaker: Does the smoke have a door?

Speaker: Uh, just thought this would come up with a Pokemon. Um, yeah, I got it. Okay. Does it have a door? Yes. Alright, someone else knock. Uh...

Speaker: You're sorry. You want be the talker of the group again? Uh, sure. Okay. Um... A little bit nervously this time. Imagine it's a sister. Imagine it's just a Pokemon sister we just met.

Speaker: Knocks on the door. Okay. So knock on the door, and you hear some stumbling around. You see a light turn on inside. and eventually the door opens to reveal Charmillion.

Speaker: He's like, hey, what you guys doing out here in the middle of the night? like Jesus Christ, can you see a fucking drink in here? and trying to sleep here.

Speaker: ah we don't know. we kind of got lost in the forest. Lost my ass. What you guys want?

Speaker: well, we just, I don't know. I was just curious about who, uh, if anybody was living here. Yeah, no shit, guy. who I got a campfire lit. I can tell that my chimneys got smoke coming out of them.

Speaker: Of course someone's fucking living here. What are you thinking? ah No, we're trying to find our way out tails always on fire Okay, you get fucking racist. I've guessed my tail is on fire, but that doesn't mean I'm always warm as I want to be. Jesus.

Speaker: um We're trying to get to... what's place called? Breezehome City. Also, don't ask me who Jesus is.

Speaker: Arceus' son, obviously. Is that Arceus' nickname? Oh, hey, actually, know. Yeah, it's Arceus' son. you i was Yeah, we'll go with that. Anyway, what do you guys want?

Speaker: Well, we're trying to get across the river so we can get to Breeze Home City. What's with the acid? What's with the acid? You guys... you guys try across the river on an acid day.

Speaker: Really? Acid day? an acid day? It's not always acidic? Oh, is it not? This isn't a river, you idiots. This is a runoff from the factories up in Shangalo City.

Speaker: What is a runoff to? oh He points downstream and goes down towards the ocean, obviously.

Speaker: um that's no good. i don't fucking care. i don't get paid to care about it. So there's no warning signs coming up here? There's a whole path to here. No, because everyone from fucking Shangalo City knows not to come out of here on an acid day.

Speaker: So what if there's tourists?

Speaker: Why the fuck would there be a tourist at Shangalo City? Well, there was just a Justin the Barrel concert there. Oh my god, they're fucking using that venue again, aren't they?

Speaker: I have seen this fucking guy. Well, every week, they hold up their wastes up in their factories and shit. And once a week, they let out all their goddamn nuclear waste and acids and whatever waste down into the wild... fucking wildlife, whatever. And get this! And he, like, throws his hands up in the air.

Speaker: Also, if it wasn't clear, this guy is absolutely wasted. Yeah, it was pretty clear.

Speaker: Yeah. um sounds like we got a problem. here i mean yeah worship yeah i mean we're just trying to get through the forest to breeze home city but we uh is there anything we can do to help just camp out somewhere and wait for it to go away or try to follow it all the way to the ocean and Get across.

Speaker: Followed on an ocean that's like fucking 350 miles away. so yeah. You have to go somewhere. So you're saying you do this weekly, right? saying you this weekly?

Speaker: Yeah, they dump it once a week, but it doesn't stop. How much is this for one week? cycle city Literally every building up there is like a factory or some shit.

Speaker: I don't know. I'm not a factoryologist. But what I do know is that when they open the valves, it takes like three or four days for to finally stop flowing. So...

Speaker: Today's the acid day. This is the day that they opened valves. Now acid everywhere. So fuck me. Huh.

Speaker: Yeah. but but i say we I say we just wait it out. What do you what do y all say? don't know. Hey, you want to go looking for a firestone? I'll pay for one for you, man.

Speaker: Wait, hold on, are you trying to get him to evolve so you guys can- so you guys can get across the river? I mean, can become a nuclear charizard! I think they evolve by leveling up.

Speaker: Firestone works too. think- What? No. i don't know. that's it I thought it did I swear in a game I used a firestone to evolve it quickly. no Okay, I'm actually not entirely sure on because I don't play Pokemon games very often.

Speaker: you want to fight? and love he was started I would offer that as a legitimate option if you guys want to spend the next six hours punching this drunk Charmeleon until he grows wings.

Speaker: That feels like abuse of some kind.

Speaker: no We don't know if evolution is happening right now, considering Chex level 17 not This is something that needs to be studied. Has a Pokemon ever evolved while absolutely slammed? This just Just beating the shit out me.

Speaker: ah fuck It's like our shadows go over it. It's like, what you guys doing? bu bum

Speaker: Well, the funny thing is, he ah excuse me yeah he has to get the XP so you would have to offer yourselves to get beat up for six hours straight.

Speaker: Yeah. We can go find a weak Pokemon out here. We can find a Pokemon you can just completely harass for six hours. So what I'm hearing is that he would have to go around and beat up every Pokemon in this forest until he it evolves.

Speaker: Is there Clefables? They give great XP. Is there Chancy? They give great XP. I'm gonna ask this termillion to go out and come into genocide for sure.

Speaker: Just so we can cross a

Speaker: river. Fucking Christ, guys. Ugh. Do you guys have any other solutions or any so other suggestions? because Jesus Christ.

Speaker: Well, so the other option is we find a flying type in this forest who's willing to fly us across the river. That's true. it's Already a flying type and not having to evolve into one.

Speaker: Why are we guys trying to make a flying type? Yeah, guys could just find a flying type. I just want to see if the cars are.

Speaker: Oh no, I just wanted to- Hey no! This is part the Charmina line! He's like, fucking Charmanders, fucking Charmeleons.

Speaker: Talking bad to me once. I don't- Alright, but we're gonna go to the road. Okay. Um, okay. So, are you guys gonna try and find a flying type or something, then? Yeah. So, I'm gonna- Before we go leave this Charmeleon, I'm gonna ask him that, Hey, do you know of any flying types in this forest who might be willing to fly us across?

Speaker: Fuck, what voice do have for him? Not really. i mean, not off the top of my head. The only thing I got was my fucking boat and it's all broken and shit.

Speaker: And I ain't got the tools to fix it. like

Speaker: And if we put the boat in the river, it's gonna melt immediately. Oh no, not that safe. That thing's made of um carbon fiber.

Speaker: That's the name of it. That thing won't open flames. I don't actually know if carbon fiber is resistant to acid or not. ah so i looking enough me go a com Also, I got a question.

Speaker: Why does this acid making fire happen? I learned this. Acid is not light stuff on fire.

Speaker: Yeah, carbon fiber is resistant to most acids as well as... Wait, actually... And organic solvents. Oh, I just chose carbon fiber because the first thing that came to mind was gold. but it was like i think sulfuric acid does, it doesn't like get it on fire, but if you put like sugar into it, it'll kind of like decompose it into carbon and water.

Speaker: yeah However, its resistance can be compromised by strong oxidizing acids like sulfuric or nitric acid, which can degrade the resin matrix used to bind the fibers.

Speaker: Okay. So, depends on if this acid river is sulfuric or nitric. I'm glad we've brought material engineering into our Mystery Dungeon D&D campaign. So, what are you saying is we just take our boat? We've got carbon fiber boat now, in a world that doesn't have

Speaker: So, what's the take about that? You said it was a decrepit broken down wooden boat earlier. Did I say it was wooden? I'm pretty sure you said it was wooden.

Speaker: Okay. so i no No, actually, that's fine. The one you guys saw was wooden. um i got I can work with this. So, the Charm Me Lane is telling you has a carbon fiber boat that's kind of broken down. Okay. Okay.

Speaker: Do you have ores? Do you have carbon fiber ores so we don't get taken away by the stream? No, fucking idiots that gave me this damn boat made their ores out of gold because they said it was like acid resistant and shit. What?!

Speaker: Do you know how much that would cost? you have an idiot? yeah but Yeah, I know! paid like fucking 50,000 for this damn boat. It's ridiculous.

Speaker: And on top of the doors aren't even fucking usable. have goddamn gold. just have 50,000 laying around casually? Not anymore!

Speaker: fuck this guy just is this guy just like please tell me we can just look over he's got like ah bank notices that his like loans i was like do you look over his shoulder he's just got bottles of liquor laying around oh boy don't ever have a son don't fucking plan i don't like children Okay, so what what would you need to fix this boat?

Speaker: Proper acid-resistant oars.

Speaker: The boat itself isn't like actually like broken, but like it's unusable. Okay, let's see. I don't know, do any of us have any momentum moves that could just like on the boat, wash our hair. Yeah, I'm wondering if I could use my temper flare as, like, rocket booster. have to... Wait, hold on.

Speaker: way

Speaker: can put a jet engine on this acid- Oh, there's boat you guys are putting in an acid river? Yeah! Yeah, why don't we just, camp Why don't we just camp outside for the night and wait for the- Well, it's gonna be multiple days. You said this is day one of, like, three or four. Three or four days? Okay, um... Although he also- Although it also doesn't really make sense if they're collecting this acid every week.

Speaker: and release it once a week and it lasts over half the week just releasing it. So that means just half a week they click this much. I think they really need to call someone about their pollution.

Speaker: you know how many Magikarp died to this pollution? The terminal elixir is like, the reason they hold it for a week is because this is the only amount of waste that the fucking environmental agencies will let them release at once.

Speaker: Believe me, it could be a lot worse. But why do they release it? Like, what what makes the waste? ah Nuclear shit? i don't I don't know. I'm not a factory. I'm just...

Speaker: How do we have nuclear power when we don't even have cars or planes? I don't fucking know. For all I know, they take uranium, throw it in water, and then dump it in the ocean or something like that. Just for the fun of it. I don't know.

Speaker: for the fun of it? I'm gonna blow this place out Yeah, it sounds like Shang-Colo City just needs to go bye-bye.

Speaker: think we just need to like... I think we need to talk to them, because... I think i need to get i need to call and get a hold of a friend of that octillery. think we gotta call a fuck out.

Speaker: I got a city for you. I think you'll like I got a job for you.

Speaker: ah fuck ah I wouldn't go there, because I think that would just release all the pollution. but It would just get everywhere instead of going in this one... No, no, we just... It controlled explosions on all the machines, not the storage.

Speaker: oh Okay. So... um Okay, so you guys have a boat that is acid-resistant, but you guys do not have a method of propulsion.

Speaker: Yeah, we do. Jet engine! Yeah, that's what was gonna say. So is Bruce going to attempt to jet engine the boat? is Is that even a viable option?

Speaker: You can test it. Okay. Do we have any other options? The cards!

Speaker: hi I just want to point out, Walter said, i will never pull from this unless we were a very desperate situation. 30 minutes later, cards! We're kind of desperate.

Speaker: Yeah, we're kind of desperate to get across. and We're in a time zone, are we going to waste four days basically waiting? That's true. What are we going to freeze home for again exactly?

Speaker: Goddammit. That's where that Garchomp's home was located, whatever his name was. Oh yeah, Bob. this can really just be a waste of time.

Speaker: Going all the way there. yeah they really could. Honestly, this could be where he used the his home at, but not where the base is. you have idea how much of an asshole DM I would be if I had led you all this way for the last few months just be like, yeah, there's nothing here.

Speaker: Well, you do just give us a deck of cards that we get a you get to choose when to get in that one and there's like almost a 40% chance in the beginning that we could just get royalty just destroyed.

Speaker: I mean, if there's...

Speaker: Yeah, if there's no other option besides the cards... We gotta stop getting money. We go on shopping trips way too much. Okay,

Speaker: okay you know what? We're gonna try something real quick. okay Bruce is gonna throw a temper flare just at the river to see what the reaction is with the river.

Speaker: Okay, so you do a temper flare at the river and the river itself isn't affected because your temper flare is not as volatile as the river itself. Okay.

Speaker: So, then yeah. just catches If I can use that as propulsion, we can get across the river. think we should aim the boat slightly upstream so that we stay straight.

Speaker: Yeah. Yep. Alright, let's get going. okay Can we have your boat, sir? Hey, by the way, can we borrow your boat... Yeah, but caused a lot of fucking... What do you have to give to me instead? or In exchange?

Speaker: Uh, we've got some jewels. No, no, no, no, no. What kind of jewels? Uh, we'll give you 2k to use your boat, and you can just wait for three days to come get your boat back.

Speaker: Fuck.

Speaker: He thinks on that a minute. He's like, you got yourself a deal. Oh, okay. There we go. I'm trying to give away- I'm gonna- you're trying to give away your 10k jewels already.

Speaker: this is why Walter holds the money. good, fine. So you give him 2k and he hands you the keys to his shed. Which, uh, I guess he can see is slightly upstream a little bit further and there's a boat in the shed.

Speaker: What else it is up there? Uh, some tools, uh, uh, any remnants of the golden shovel- of the golden oars? Yes, two solid gold ores are sitting in there.

Speaker: don't know, can they fit in my bag? They are extremely heavy. We could break them. great Wait, wait, wait, we wait, wait. Time to look up how heavy gold ores I would be. What would you say the size of these gold ores?

Speaker: Hold on one second. Let me do some math real quick. ah Density of gold. Let's see, we could just break off like half of it. Uh, okay, and the average... The average volume of an ore... What?

Speaker: There's no standard an average volume for ore? What kind of ore? This is so stupid. Well, it's gonna be smaller for our size. Yeah, exactly, so... Of a...

Speaker: Okay, hold on one second. um A golden aluminum ore weighs about 1.65 pounds. 1.65 pounds? 1.65 pounds. And aluminum density. Carbon fiber ores weigh 7.7 pounds. Okay, 2.7 grams per se.

Speaker: So if it was instead made of gold, it would weigh... That's actually not that bad. So 19, that's... Only seven times as heavy? That doesn't seem right.

Speaker: Oh, wait, hold on a second. Oh, never mind. No, that is a way different. So, hold on one second. Oh, no, is it less than Sammy? Yeah, that's what I'm checking, because Sammy is 231.5 pounds.

Speaker: So if it's less than 281 pounds, Walter can carry them easily. Yeah, that's so it would be only like eight pounds. There you go. okay so we We have the oars as... don't well We can just use the oars then.

Speaker: No, no. Use your tempo flare. tempo flare. Two golden oars. was really under the assumption that these oars would weigh like 3,000 pounds. ah So gold isn't that heavy.

Speaker: ah thought it was going be really fucking heavy. Walter's got two golden oars now in his tartar bag. I'm going to need to buy normal back soon. So, and D. Cardi will be using ores, and Bruce is in the back, temper flaring for extra speed.

Speaker: Well, we ain't using the ores. We ain't using the ores, because we better out and melt. Okay, so I'm going to have you guys roll different skill checks for this. I'm going to have you guys try and succeed on three skill checks to get across the roaring rapids, basically, of acid.

Speaker: So, um because you have both e Eli and Jake, Eli and Walter, giving me such a propulsion, I'll give you guys an advantage on rolling.

Speaker: I'll have each of you guys roll, and the highest roll will count. So, go ahead and just roll a flat D20 for your first roll.

Speaker: Oh yeah, we were told they wouldn't melt. like Yeah, it's gold. It's acid-resistant. perussion So do we each roll advantage, or just one of us? No, just each of you roll normally, and whoever has the highest one. What'd you get, Eli? Well, I'm pretty sure you beat me, Jake.

Speaker: What'd you get? What'd you get? Got an at-one. a sixteen. like got sixteen Oh, 16? Yeah, you'll pass your first check. So, the three of you guys get a third of the way across the river. you guys are now about in the middle of the river.

Speaker: And there is acid flying around you guys like crazy. Threaten to melt your guys' eyes out. So, go ahead and roll again. Let's get this time.

Speaker: Seven. 14. we rolling with any modifiers, by the way? I said flat. Okay. 14. 14? Yeah, that'll do it. So you guys continue on fighting through the acid. You guys like hit a rock and it works the bow really hard, but eventually you guys get two-thirds of the way there. Let's go. Go ahead and roll again. Let's go, Eli. Roll good. Roll good. My luck's about out.

Speaker: 10. 10.

Speaker: ten

Speaker: Ooh, that's not gonna cut it. You guys hit a really rough patch of acid, and one of you guys is going to be thrown from the boat, hanging from the edge of the boat, about to fall into the acid.

Speaker: And that person is going to be... Walter. What?! I'm not getting flung, I'm holding onto the oars! Hikaru's just surfing! Hikaru is gonna grab you by the arms.

Speaker: Okay, go ahead and roll strength. Man, this sucks. The strong guy got thrown off. Whoa. I just dropped my die on the ground. okay I don't know if it's going to matter. oh no. What?

Speaker: Strength is strength. Are you going to kill Walter just from a stupid acid river? What?

Speaker: Five. ah The river rolled an opposed nat 20. Oh no. You guys have one action you guys can take in this split second before Walter falls into the acid river of death. So Bruce is going to quick attack up, like try to get Walter back on the boat.

Speaker: can i try Can I roll strength to pull myself up? Nope, you are falling into the river now. Wait, does he have any revives on him? No. Hey, do Petra or Ross and Cherry help me? Feels burns. No.

Speaker: Actually, a good question. No, it's too for sit pervasive. Okay, so go ahead and roll another flat 20. Do they get advantage because they're both doing it now? Because it's technically helping?

Speaker: Well, Jakar already So you quick attack and you manage to grab onto Walter's arms and his legs are in the water, but you're able to attempt to pull him up. So go ahead and roll strength again. Now I'll roll my d20 of damage.

Speaker: Okay, well...

Speaker: 16 plus 1, 17. Okay, the river rolled 7. You managed to pull him into the boat, and Walter, you're going to take another d20 of damage. I got it. I rolled low, thank God. It's only in 3. Oh, darn.

Speaker: I rolled good when it mattered. Okay, so Walter and Eli go ahead and roll off once more. You guys did not make any progress. Come this is so dangerous.

Speaker: so and I told you guys You guys are like speeding towards the edge of the river and you guys hit the bank and you guys just go flying off the off the ah off the fucking boat into the shore. and one of and During this cataclysm, one of the oars falls into the river and is washed away.

Speaker: But Walter's still holding onto the other one. Oh, you both roads rolled so well. Yeah, how did how do we get a negative on that? you guys went too fast.

Speaker: What? No, I didn't want you guys having even more money than you guys already had. Alright, one golden ore. Okay, sorry. One gold ore. Did we pass all the checks on those three?

Speaker: Yes, that was all three. You guys tumbled off into the shoreline, so you guys are safely on the other side. I thought we almost lost you, Walter. And our boat is up, beached on the shoreline, right?

Speaker: Sorry, say that again. Beached shoreline, what? Our boat is like beached up on the shore. Yes. Yeah, your boat is out, ah basically beached on the shore, yeah. I hope the guy's not mad if we lost one of his oars.

Speaker: I mean, you're taking the other one, so... was gonna say, you're gonna steal them anyway. Unless you're gonna leave the other one. bet it probably... You probably should leave the other ore too.

Speaker: Technically. ah You did kind of just give him 2,000 for the use of the boat, not for... know, but he was kind rude....taking stuff from the boat.

Speaker: He was kind of rude.

Speaker: He was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. if this is a If this is any solace, the value of the ore is 5,000 prok. Oh, that's it? Alright.

Speaker: Man, he got scammed! The boat itself was 50,000 prok, not the ore. So he had to pay 60,000 total. Man, he just got so scammed.

Speaker: I'll drop the ore. was was looking at a scam. I did not think of the numbers at all. So yeah, that actually see he really did get scammed. Wait, $50,000 for a boat that he may never use just because the acid thing.

Speaker: And then he got forced to pay another $5,000 for each oar. i thought I thought the oars would be like 50,000 pounds of some stupid like that. So was like, oh, he can't use the boat because the oars are made of stupid material.

Speaker: He forgot that gold isn't actually all that. He's just a shrimp. He just has no strength. Yeah, that's what guys failed to mention, is you notice he has, like, muscle atrophy in his arms.

Speaker: Oh, jeez. Well, we made it across the river. How close are we to getting out of this forest? Um, yeah, you guys see the path continue. Um, and... Yeah, so you guys heading down the path, because you guys see the path continuing. and Yeah, we're trying to get out of this forest. We decided to not leave.

Speaker: yeah I thought you guys might want to turn back or something. Yeah. ah Before we do that, I just want to check... Oh, go ahead. I just want to look at Walter to see if he's got any like burns on him.

Speaker: His legs are slightly burnt, but not bad. Anything I can do? did Do you want an Orinberry, Walter? i have three Orinberries that can...

Speaker: probably help you with the acid burns. Alright, how am I feeling all the singes? Is it like incredible pain? little pain? You are feeling... On a scale of 0 30, you're feeling about an 8.

Speaker: Out of what Walter's been through so far in pain-wise, how's he feeling? oh but Okay, well, your legs are slightly singed. Like, it's not bad, but an 8 out of...

Speaker: An 8 out of 30 on the pain scale. It's fine. I'll just sleep and regain and just recover. if If you didn't get it, you took 8 damage, correct? Yes. Yes. Oh, okay. There you go. Hardy hard. Hardy hardy hardy hardy okay so oh it's just fine i'll magically heal once i sleep i mean it's not magically healing your body just heals itself when you sleep and whole crap is all my fur on my feet gone You know what? Let's say yes, your legs are pink.

Speaker: Oh no. Oh gosh. Can I wear the boots right now?

Speaker: Boots of ability. I'll say it's a cover of your legs. but that way Let's get you a bath. right No, they're always active. Alright, next chance we get, let's get you let's get you into a bathtub.

Speaker: What? Or a hot spring.

Speaker: ah I just go to the gym. That's my relaxings. No, no, no. To like wash any remaining acid off of you. I'll sweat it off. Okay.

Speaker: Dogs even... I don't think dogs sweat, but... yeah Dogs have to pant because they don't sweat. What's a dog? Nice. Nice. I didn't know that. Okay.

Speaker: Okay, this is the either going to be called Deal or No Deal or nerd No, I think this is just gonna be called the Deck of Many Possibilities. The Spooky Forest. The Deck of Many Facts. No, that's it. It's gonna be the Spooky Forest.

Speaker: Yes. Yeah. i Turn Russian now. The Spooky Forest. Okay. You guys head down the path, and eventually the fog starts to thin.

Speaker: The trees are gaining more leaves, and... That's why it's dead. All the chemical off-run.

Speaker: That's why it was the spooky forest. It should be the deadly forest. The deadly forest. Eventually, you guys see a bunch of flowers start to appear everywhere.

Speaker: And there's like flowers on the trees. There's like bushes with berries and stuff. And all of the greenery starts returning. And as you guys... As you guys...

Speaker: head out into the sunlight, you got because suddenly it's daytime. i forgot was midnight. The daylight just snaps back on, and you guys are in Breeze Home City! you guys have made it!

Speaker: Woo! What a relief. wait there there was a There was a time rift on both sides of that forest. Wow. You know what? This is being helpful.

Speaker: As long as we don't gotta deal with that train again, i don't care what rifts do right now.

Speaker: And with this, we're going to end this episode. So, I've been Dakota, your PM, your DM, your GM. I had a lot of fun with this episode, so. I've been Evelyn playing Hikaru.

Speaker: I've been Eli playing Bruce. I've been Jacob playing the money-hungry Walter. Alright, we'll see you guys next time.

Speaker: Hello and welcome to the end section. Go ahead and check out our Discord down in the description below along with our Patreon where you can listen to all of our episodes up to like two weeks in advance I think is the most we ever get to.

Speaker: So you also get the full length of everything there. So with that being said, let's thank the music producers for this episode. The majority of the music came from Paper Mario 64. And from that, we have Toad Town, Forever Forest, Stealthy Snoop, Approach to the Mansion, Madam Merlar, I can speak, and Kami Koopa.

Speaker: We also have Surprise Attack Evil Toad. That is all. Thank you guys, and see you guys next time.