Transcript
Speaker: Good morning, Pokemon everywhere. I'm Jadim Firecracker, bringing the heat from city and tower newsroom here at Monkey News Report. With me always are my elemental experts, Leafy Jones and Gintara Tapwater.
Speaker: coming here. oh Gosh darn it, people. We have practiced this. This is our first time on the news.
Speaker: Yeah, we've practiced this hundreds of times. Yep, totally. we We got this... We got this whole news thing lock.
Speaker: Yeah, I think so.
Speaker: Anyway... I'm Leafy Jones here, live from Shady Grove. Ignore the fact that that is a different spot from where you said you are.
Speaker: And I'm Katara Tapwater. but The Panpour. And I'm coming to you live from Vapore. this We are doing reports on all the suspicious activity that has been happening recently.
Speaker: but tear With Terrorist Week? Or was it Terrorist Month? All these months are getting so confusing nowadays. Am I right? National Terrorist Month, yeah. National Terrorist... My gosh, who knew about naming a month Terrorist Month would mean a lot of terrorism would happen during the month.
Speaker: Who would have guessed?
Speaker: All right. Well, of course. It's terrorist month. We have a report from Leafy Jones about the recent terrorist where he's been at at around Shady Grove. Oh, yeah. not Not so much terrorist as we've just got some weird disappearances going on in the woods around Shady Grove.
Speaker: We recently had think i think think she was like seven years old, just wander off into the woods and disappear.
Speaker: Haven't seen her since. Bird lord, has there been a search team over there? Oh yeah, the uh, some local rescue teams went out, but they just up and disappeared too.
Speaker: We've been sent three or four rescue teams out and they all just all disappeared. Well, who was the girl that disappeared in the first place? That's the thing!
Speaker: We haven't even gotten a name! no name? Wait. Do we even have a subscription? Uh, why do you call it? One of those thingamajigs that tell you what the person looks like.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. We we got a... We got a a wanted poster. that but Missing. Missing posters up on town. wanted poster? Are we looking for them or trying to capture them?
Speaker: and They're basically the same thing, right? You know, they're that they're missing, so they're wanted. Good gods, Leafy Jones. If we weren't on air, I would wring your neck right now if I was over there.
Speaker: Well, good thing you're not. You're over on the other side of the country. Country? Yep, and I'm just relaxing in my... next to this hot spring over here.
Speaker: Good gosh, are lucky you won the bet on this! I had to stay in this station while you two got to travel.
Speaker: Well no, I'm recording live from the hot spring. I'm in- I'm submerged in the water. Good gosh, don't you know children watch this?
Speaker: Uh... Have me you no decency? They don't see us, they hear our voices. This is a radio show, remember?
Speaker: Good gosh, you're right. I completely forgot about that. What are televisions anyway? Anyway, anyway, back to news, back to news. regardless i Regardless, I'm in my own room.
Speaker: Recording this all by myself. I just happen to have a bathtub in here.
Speaker: but Oh, that's a fancy hotel room. How are you paying for this? The studio pays for it. The studio? I don't have dental and they're paying for that.
Speaker: i'm I'm out here sleeping in trees. Ignore the fact that's my choice. Aren't you a grass type? Wouldn't you like that? Have we even ever met in person?
Speaker: We meet once a year. but We have to do photo ops. I think maybe we're all in different like departments of this of this broadcasting company. because I don't know. like How do you guys not have...
Speaker: How do you guys not have a bathtub in your recording studios? that It seems so obvious, you gotta have a bathtub!
Speaker: Well you know, I filled out the paperwork and I never heard nothing. I think they're just going easy on the water types.
Speaker: This ain't fair us. Right. All right. Well, let's go. let's Let's get back to the news. I heard you had some some news over in Valkenburg in recent events.
Speaker: Horgan? Horgan? You, Jimmy Firecracker. Oh, right, right, right, right. That news, that news. um i was so I'm still awestruck that I can't afford dental and they can get on little swimming pool in their rooms anyway. Not mad, not mad. This is why i'm so this is why they don't i worry about them renewing our contract.
Speaker: We can't even stay on topic and get the news out there. And other news...
Speaker: Witnesses have reported multiple sightings of a potential new romance in the gravel rocks with the lead guitarist, Veronica, and their lead singer, Jeremy.
Speaker: Multiple sightings of them holding hands and multiple dates have been showing this, even though Veronica is a married Pokemon.
Speaker: Veronica is married? Yes! To a war vet! Veronica's married? To a war vet? Yes! Oh, that's spicy.
Speaker: Spicy, that's your domain. I know! Even more spicier! ah Reports have shown that their house has burned down just recently!
Speaker: Cops are still trying to figure it out, but they've been telling us that it was natural, even though it it looked like it was started, but they just say it was a natural fire burned out nowhere. So I guess it was one of those just accidents, accident self-starting fires.
Speaker: That has been happening all over the country recently. Yeah, but, yeah, I mean, with all the um with all the dynam dynamite and um terror terrorist activities going on throughout this country, especially on Terrorist Day.
Speaker: Yeah, well, thought the weird thing is the fire happened before National Terrorist Month. So, like, there's little evidence that could be a terrorist related.
Speaker: it could, however, simply be An electrical issue. A local interview with a lifeguard over there did say they did see a fire type running looking for help and asked him so to go help with the fire and then vanished right after right after that.
Speaker: I don't want to be- um as a fire type I can get why he wanted to leave. We usually get pointed at when fires start.
Speaker: Yeah, but I mean you got- you fo- you people are the one that's able to stop fires. You people!
Speaker: Are we goingnna have to sell this in the ring?
Speaker: uh, sorry. I didn't mean to we tongue stereotype types. We talking about unprofessional over here. You just stereotyped us on live radio.
Speaker: Well, that's why it's that's why we have radio Viewers, I am sorry for all fire types. I am so sorry for the stereotyping.
Speaker: Anyway, back on news. Don't you got anything else you want news you want to say? Katara Tapwater?
Speaker: Katara Tap... Well, um...
Speaker: well i do ah Well, I do have some thoughts on this. I mean, I follow the... I mean, this is this is a multi-platinum band.
Speaker: And they're having... The fact that they're having...
Speaker: team drama inside the band it's it makes it makes me a little a little bit worried about their future like I don't know if they're gonna split you know we had back in the day we had the we had we had the band Illumise split up because it was they were they just couldn't get along anymore creative differences as they say I'll tell you one thing i feel bad for that for that Lee guitarist's son.
Speaker: People say he barely survived the fire that that accidentally self started.
Speaker: It was a real tragedy. People say he was running around. He was crying very badly.
Speaker: ah Our thoughts and prayers are with it with the sun there. but their That's for sure. With all the drama happening in that poor man's life. In other news, and another Ayulu spotting have been happening during all these terrorism acts.
Speaker: As after a robbery was happening, apparently reports say um of a... Gang a of dragon types were robbing a bank, and as they were fleeing, they started getting hostile with a group of, doesn't really say what kind of Pokemon, but it just says a Ryulu spotting was spotted as a dynamite was thrown at them and no bodies were recovered after the explosion, only leaving money to flow in the streets with police trying to clear it all up.
Speaker: That does smell suspicious. It does! Right after another report- right after a previous report of Araiulu spotting. ah During a- let's see, what was it? It was during the start of Terrorism Month.
Speaker: But the Octo- what was it? Some kind of Octagon? Octillery? I think it was an Octillery, that's what the ports say. they're called Octillery. I think the artillery but house and this entire neighborhood was bombed, but luckily it was their national terrorism month.
Speaker: So off all harm, no harm, no foul. Although all those people's things were destroyed and all their precious memories were now gone.
Speaker: Yeah. See, my co-host can't even remember the name. Can't even remember the name Octillery. We're Pokemon and we can't even and we can't remember all 1000 species.
Speaker: They're too many. i think we're up to like 1056 or something like that now. It's pretty crazy.
Speaker: Where do we keep coming from? where Where do we keep coming from?
Speaker: Yeah, then it's like a new wave of every couple of years we see a new wave of Pokemon popping up or all across the Elkast region and there's no no explanation for how they got here.
Speaker: that the Outcast region is an island, so I believe that they're just coming in on boats from faraway lands. And every couple years, there's just a new boat shows up and all these Pokemon get off and they just spread throughout the region.
Speaker: On boats? I could see my opinion that, my dear i' a Leafy Jones, but I'm afraid we get cancelled on that opinion.
Speaker: Anyway... say it. I mean, we got... It's good for ratings. No, I know what you're planning on. You want me out of here just get all the ratings to yourself.
Speaker: Mmm. You gosh darn water type. So, can neither confirm nor deny.
Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome to the midsection. We've only got two things to shout out in terms of music today. We've got Chill Lo-Fi Background Music by InPlus Music and we have Breaking News Background Music by Original Audio. The artist was unlisted and that is what was put there. so uh we also got our discord in the description we got patreon in the description uh go check them out we got amazing stuff there and sorry for the shorter episode today guys it's been a real struggle getting everyone together to record with a bunch of people going on vacation and stuff and so we do have some things uh coming out here soon because this upcoming sunday we're actually finally we'll start recording stuff so
Speaker: Sorry about that, but with that I will let you guys get back to the newscast.
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Speaker: So, Qatar, what's happening over in Vipourg? In Vapore? Um... Well, the usual. Lots of tourists come through here.
Speaker: um All around, like... It's coming across us to be the... Coming to this to be the summer. And people come... Pokemon come from all over the place to visit the hot springs. And... You know, visit the general stores.
Speaker: Um... We...
Speaker: the The city's Department of Tourism shared just shared some interesting insering data. um They say that the tor the tourism industry in Vapor has raised about 3 million poke in revenue in Texas.
Speaker: Good gosh! Dang!
Speaker: That may make them the most most money made in any one place ever! at least this
Speaker: well we do have a lot of rich pokemon here um a lot of mcmansions um beach out wait beach houses no we don't have any beaches we're by a river but you know houses near the hot springs um resort it's a resort town i mean you gotta you gotta have
Speaker: there's a lot of hot properties. And i don't just mean I don't just mean hot literally, like like hot springs hot, but you know, know popular.
Speaker: People bidding up prices. Y'all are really lucky. You got all these nice beaches and everything. ahs fire types usually work in the mills because we're the only the ones that keep the fires keep going.
Speaker: Yeah. I hear Vipour is a and not not far train ride from the the beautiful Lago Verde, too. Is it? Yeah.
Speaker: another Another hot vacation spot. um Where do you think you'll be coming? we You know, the start of the summer is coming soon, and hear that...
Speaker: Well... ah ah You could stay up there all you want. I'm staying here rooting for my home team that of my basketball team because I know they're going to be a lot better than yours.
Speaker: The Pants here Fireballs, I got all my money on them this year. Hmm. Well, uh, I don't follow sports that closely. I mean, it's, you know, it's a terrible thing to say if you're on, if you're in the radio industry, but, you know, I'm sorry.
Speaker: I just don't. hear that? You hear that, old sports fan? She said sports is dumb. I never said that. I just said i don't follow it that closely.
Speaker: How could you not follow sports? It's the main bloodline of our great place.
Speaker: Yeah, I know it's a big deal, but... I bet you fall off his water aerobics. Different strokes different folks. Water aerobics? Oh, yeah.
Speaker: We, you know... yeah We do have a lot of... Um...
Speaker: Careful now, Katara. Top water. Careful now. Got got that water polo? Ooh, from the poor.
Speaker: I hear water polo is quite a popular sport over in Fluvius. Oh, we're in Flama. we're ah we're ah we're on the We're on that side of the region. On that side of the river.
Speaker: But very close to Fluvius. Very close to Fluvius.
Speaker: it Huh. You know... As this is our first day on the job, this is making can me question our partnership with the Panfor and her elitist thoughts.
Speaker: I'm no elitist. I just, we, you know. Yeah, we have, I mean, we do have tons of water sports in the region, like, in the the region around Vapore. Like, people.
Speaker: Like, lots of swimmers, surfing, canoeing... You know, a lot of us fire types can't bother getting up there because most fire types, but a lot of fire types can die from being by water by getting any on them.
Speaker: Just look at poor Charizard and his line. if anything gets on his tail, my gosh, it's goodnight Sally.
Speaker: Well, I hear that, well, I hear there's some, there are some great professional surfers who, um our our fire type just they're you know yes they do a pretty impressive job those are called they're those are called extremists who go to the extreme that to enjoy themselves it's not very smart of them yeah i mean look at i mean look at kevin
Speaker: yes guitar top top water what you gotta say
Speaker: I mean, look at ke ah look at Kevin the Camerupt. He's a world-renowned surfer, and it's not you know it's not just because... It's it's not that he's good, it's just being able to surf as a Camerupt.
Speaker: It's an impressive feat. Especially that board able to carry him. A Camerupt. That board should just s sink immediately.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. did hear about an infernape who was also a famous surfer at one point. An infernape?
Speaker: My goodness, they're taking a big risk.
Speaker: are Thank you for our fire our fire monkeys out there. keep Keeping us in all sports with your extreme actions.
Speaker: Yeah, what's that? What's what is he called, though? The Infernape. I can't remember his first name, but I'm pretty sure his last name was Hatsumi.
Speaker: Hatsumi? Oh, interesting. Like you' got the hots for me or Hatsumi? Hatsumi. My gosh, I bet he gets all the ladies.
Speaker: bet
Speaker: I
Speaker: bet he's smoking. think smoke Thinking about a fire type in that way, my gosh. We have broke the cycle. Anyway, that's all the time we have with you folks. next See you next time on Monkey News. This is Johnny Firecracker signing out.
Speaker: This is Katara Tapwater signing out. And this is Leafy Jones.
Speaker: so so So you got that paint you got that guy's number or?
