Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Good Character and Modern Manners for Kids
41 Plays1 year ago
In our thirty-first episode, titled "Good Character and Modern Manners for Kids," we welcome Barbara Achilles Minardi, the inspiring founder of Reach for the Stars ATX.
Hailing from the vibrant community near Lake Travis outside Austin, TX, Barbara shares her journey and insights into instilling good character and modern manners in children. Drawing from her experiences and the wisdom passed down by her remarkable mother, Barbara offers valuable guidance for nurturing qualities of kindness, respect, and integrity in our kids.
Tune in to discover practical strategies for raising thoughtful and well-mannered children in today's world. 🌷👧👦
Positively Healthy Coaching
The Positively Healthy Mom FB Group
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Positively Healthy Mom podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey moms, it's Laura Olinger.
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
00:00:05
Speaker
Because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:00:10
Speaker
Hello and welcome Positively Healthy Moms.
00:00:13
Speaker
Welcome to my show, the Positively Healthy Mom.
00:00:15
Speaker
Today I am welcoming my guest, Barbara Achilles Minardi.
Connecting through social media
00:00:19
Speaker
So Barbara, say hello to the Positively Healthy Moms.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello, Positively Healthy Moms.
00:00:25
Speaker
I'm happy to be here.
00:00:26
Speaker
Thank you for having me.
00:00:27
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:00:28
Speaker
So let's introduce you, who you are, what you do, why you're here.
00:00:32
Speaker
So I brought you on today because I was so
Exploring Reach ATX: Character education and leadership
00:00:35
Speaker
intrigued.
00:00:35
Speaker
You and I kind of started following each other on social media a while back.
00:00:38
Speaker
I don't know how the connection happened, but it just did.
00:00:41
Speaker
And I've been so impressed with your work.
00:00:43
Speaker
So what stood out to me was you offer workshops and classes for really kids of all ages, but you can kind of clarify that.
00:00:51
Speaker
And so tell us like what...
00:00:53
Speaker
What is your focus?
00:00:55
Speaker
Well, I have a children's program called Reach ATX.
00:00:59
Speaker
And it was founded in late 2022.
00:01:02
Speaker
And it's a children's program that focuses primarily on character education, modern manners, and leadership developments.
00:01:10
Speaker
And I work with kids, like you said, from six to 16, primarily.
00:01:15
Speaker
And I have the privilege to be able to go to all these wonderful community organizations and talk to different scout troops and sports teams.
00:01:22
Speaker
I have enrichment programs in a few of the school districts here in Central Texas.
00:01:28
Speaker
And I basically create and host these workshops designed to help children, then giving them life skills that I think will help, you know,
00:01:36
Speaker
give them a leg up as they age, help them socially, academically, and hopefully one day professionally.
Significance of character education in the digital age
00:01:43
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:01:43
Speaker
And so why don't you tell us like what, in your opinion, is the importance of learning these character strengths?
00:01:50
Speaker
And also maybe you could tag onto that in the conjunction.
00:01:54
Speaker
What about the modern manners?
00:01:56
Speaker
Is that kind of the same thing or is that a separate thing?
00:01:59
Speaker
Well, our character education, character is who we are at our core, right?
00:02:03
Speaker
It defines the actions we take, the behaviors we have, how we feel about ourselves, how we react and engage in the world.
00:02:11
Speaker
And it's the foundation of who we are.
00:02:13
Speaker
So to not focus on it, I think, is troubling.
00:02:16
Speaker
That's why I want to focus on it.
00:02:18
Speaker
I want to have an intention to focus on these topics.
00:02:22
Speaker
And then it ties in with modern manners because
00:02:26
Speaker
to be honest, when I first started doing this, I didn't think that manners really had a place today in a contemporary society.
00:02:32
Speaker
But it does.
00:02:33
Speaker
It's so much does.
00:02:35
Speaker
And the more I do this, the more I realize just how relevant it is, especially since so much of our engagement and the way we communicate with each other is on online or, you know, via email or text.
00:02:47
Speaker
So when we have the opportunity to meet in person and engage with each other in person and one-on-one, you need to know how to have those soft skills to
00:02:54
Speaker
to build the relationships and have the best experience you can.
Evolving manners: Respect and gratitude
00:02:58
Speaker
And so, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:01
Speaker
Yeah, that's the way you're phrasing that sounds good because, you know, I think what pops into people's heads when they hear manners is like etiquette.
00:03:09
Speaker
And like etiquette is this like lost art.
00:03:10
Speaker
And it reminds us of like, you know, the 1800s and, you know, just being so civil and so polite.
00:03:16
Speaker
And our culture has really changed.
00:03:18
Speaker
I mean, I know in my lifetime, my mom always taught me to write handwritten thank you notes.
00:03:24
Speaker
So that's a value of hers in our family.
00:03:27
Speaker
And I try really hard to still do it, but I just so prefer to just write a text, you know, thank you for the one.
00:03:33
Speaker
And that's okay.
00:03:35
Speaker
Not the type of thing that part of what you're talking about, just like, you know, a little bit.
00:03:42
Speaker
Well, our behaviors change over time, right?
00:03:44
Speaker
They're fluid.
00:03:45
Speaker
They change like communication changes.
00:03:47
Speaker
So they are linked.
00:03:48
Speaker
changes, the way we interact with each other changes.
00:03:51
Speaker
And now that we have technology at our disposal, I don't think there's anything wrong with, you know, sending a text, sending a video message.
00:03:58
Speaker
The manners, you know, that the aristocrats put out, you know, hundreds of years ago certainly have changed, but they're still necessary.
00:04:04
Speaker
They're still necessary to show, you know, that we have respect for one another, that we are appreciative of one another, our gratitude.
00:04:12
Speaker
those regardless of the time is always going to be always going to be a necessity for us to engage with each other in a civil manner.
00:04:20
Speaker
So those, they, they, they're still relevant.
00:04:24
Speaker
The reasons behind them might've changed or the way that we do them might've changed, but they're definitely still relevant.
00:04:29
Speaker
Yeah.
Workshops on character strengths and modern manners
00:04:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:30
Speaker
And that's part of actually in my signature workshop that I give one of the words, the terms that I kind of bring about to parents is I talk about the dehumanization of our culture and
00:04:41
Speaker
And that, you know, people are learning to treat each other as a little bit like less than human.
00:04:49
Speaker
We have kind of evolved.
00:04:50
Speaker
And so I kind of explained this process of we're going, you know, the standards of our culture, kind of like what you're talking about, are moving goalposts over time.
00:05:00
Speaker
So what was once appropriate in the 1920s, as far as what we would wear to the beach or a pool, is now completely different, right?
00:05:06
Speaker
That has shifted.
00:05:07
Speaker
And so sometimes like our culture shifts so quickly that humans can't really keep up with the way it shifted.
00:05:12
Speaker
So then all of a sudden we're acting a little bit, you know,
00:05:18
Speaker
just less than we probably ideally would want to be, you know, because at the end of the day, it's all about human connection, right?
00:05:25
Speaker
That's all what it's about.
00:05:26
Speaker
Somehow like the phones and teenagers and technology, that's kind of one of my specialties is they're not really learning that well, they don't have the knowledge and
00:05:36
Speaker
to really understand that when they cyber bully somebody or embarrass somebody with a picture or when things go viral, that that is really treating each other as though we are less than human, that dehumanization aspect.
00:05:50
Speaker
So it's interesting, you know, our two worlds kind of intersect in that way, where you're really bringing about, you know, this knowledge to kids about how to treat each other and
00:06:00
Speaker
civilly, how to give respect, how to treat them well.
00:06:02
Speaker
And so can you talk a little bit more about the character strengths that you teach about?
00:06:08
Speaker
Well, I try and teach about as many as possible.
00:06:12
Speaker
Primarily, some of my most important or my more popular workshops deal with loyalty and honesty and friendship.
00:06:20
Speaker
I have another workshop that deals with gossip called Loose Lips Sink Ships and how
00:06:26
Speaker
gossip and is, you know, harmful for friendships, yet at the same time, we still need an opportunity to vent and the subtle differences between those two, those two topics.
00:06:37
Speaker
I have workshops, my modern manners workshops obviously are about showing respect and gratitude and appreciation.
00:06:45
Speaker
I also talk about the power of words and how they have weight and the ability to kind of change our world, right?
00:06:52
Speaker
They shape who we are and the reality of what we do.
00:06:57
Speaker
And so I try and teach all of the character, you know, all of as many character strengths as possible, given the workshop.
00:07:03
Speaker
And then I also have a program called Super Leaders, which I have in the in the as an after school program.
00:07:11
Speaker
And for Super Leaders, I talk about a certain historical leader throughout the world in history.
00:07:17
Speaker
And we talk about and we deep dive into their character strengths, their traits, the things that have made them successful.
00:07:22
Speaker
And so it runs the gamut.
Modeling good behavior: Self-care and emotional regulation
00:07:24
Speaker
I mean, from Florence Nightingale and her bravery and perseverance to grit and resilience are also a very big part of the workshops that I teach.
00:07:36
Speaker
So I really try and give as many opportunities to highlight and foster these strengths as possible.
00:07:45
Speaker
I love that.
00:07:45
Speaker
And oftentimes, with children, sometimes you start off with an idea and they take it somewhere else.
00:07:52
Speaker
And so I'm always trying to be open to where they're going and allowing them to kind of guide the discussion and, you know, teach them what they want to learn as well.
00:08:01
Speaker
And so what advice do you have for parents whose kids are not able because you able to attend your programs because you are locally based here in Austin, Texas?
00:08:11
Speaker
How can you help them?
00:08:12
Speaker
Because our listeners are literally worldwide.
00:08:15
Speaker
We have listeners in every country.
00:08:17
Speaker
And so what advice can you give them?
00:08:20
Speaker
it's the advice that you know parents know all the time that we are the greatest teachers you know our our children we model the behaviors for our children um and so in order for our children to become the type of people we want them to be we need to be the type of people that they need to be you know we need to be the change that they see um and so modeling the good behavior you know making sure in you know your everyday life when you're late to hdb or you're running to the to school that your behaviors are appropriate because your your children pick up on everything
00:08:50
Speaker
And in these, in these, you know, these moments where we're not really our best selves is when we kind of do the best, the most teaching to our children.
00:08:57
Speaker
So modeling good behavior, right, at all times, when we're frustrated, when we're angry, when we're, when we're exhausted, you know, not letting those times weaken us.
00:09:07
Speaker
And then, you know, just taking care of ourselves, you know, is the best thing for us to do, not only for ourselves, but so our children see that it's okay to take care of ourselves, that it's okay to,
00:09:18
Speaker
to put ourselves first and think of our own wellbeing as a way to be stronger for everybody.
Moms and self-care before engaging with children
00:09:24
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:09:25
Speaker
That's something that I talk about all the time because we as moms are pretty worn out.
00:09:31
Speaker
We're pretty tired.
00:09:32
Speaker
We're pretty stressed.
00:09:32
Speaker
It's hard.
00:09:33
Speaker
Yeah, it is hard.
00:09:34
Speaker
And so it's so important.
00:09:36
Speaker
I just actually had a mom at my workshop yesterday who says she works with teenagers all day at school, but then she's got her own teenagers at home.
00:09:45
Speaker
And she was trying to figure out how she could apply the tools that I had taught her when really she's so exhausted because she finds that her kids are
00:09:53
Speaker
her temper is just like shot at the end of the day.
00:09:56
Speaker
And so my advice to her was just to take five to 10 minutes in the car before she goes in her house.
00:10:02
Speaker
I said, they're hungry.
00:10:04
Speaker
They're waiting for you.
00:10:05
Speaker
They want dinner.
00:10:06
Speaker
They might need help with their homework, but just sit in your car for five to 10 minutes and just get emotionally regulated.
00:10:12
Speaker
Do some of the techniques I taught her, some breathing exercises, and then really to kind of empower herself through her identity.
00:10:19
Speaker
And so one thing I do teach with
00:10:21
Speaker
you know, we're going to short, short track this at the moment, but it's just all about who do you need to be at this moment in order to accomplish what you want.
00:10:28
Speaker
And so that really just gives yourself usually the energy to be like, I can tackle this part of my day.
00:10:34
Speaker
But the theme is that it's hard, like no matter what job we have, you know, we're still all moms and it is hard, even if you are
00:10:44
Speaker
the stay-at-home mom.
00:10:44
Speaker
And even if you have one child, that's still a lot, right?
00:10:47
Speaker
It's like, it doesn't kind of really matter necessarily the circumstances.
00:10:50
Speaker
What matters is that we're moms and that raising a child is hard no matter what.
00:10:55
Speaker
Well, I was a substitute teacher for a long time as well.
00:10:58
Speaker
So I know the feeling of coming home and being completely tired of being around kids.
00:11:03
Speaker
I know I get it.
00:11:03
Speaker
I've been there.
00:11:05
Speaker
And I would do the same thing.
00:11:06
Speaker
I would close myself in my bedroom for about five, 10 minutes, tell my kids not, you know, I can't be a mom right now.
00:11:13
Speaker
But I think what's important in addition to what you said is also telling the children why, like, it's not you, you know, it's not that I don't want to be a mom to you or
00:11:20
Speaker
or show you the attention that you deserve, right?
00:11:22
Speaker
Because even though you've been with children all day long, or the woman that you spoke to, they've missed you all day long.
00:11:29
Speaker
So you need to be respectful of their needs as well.
00:11:32
Speaker
And I think if the more open you are, and the more you communicate with your children about why I'm feeling this way, and why I need a moment, again, is not only good for you at the moment, but then it'll teach your children later on how to engage with their children and, you know, express their needs and their boundaries to other people.
Understanding behaviors and traditions for better learning
00:11:49
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:11:50
Speaker
I think that's awesome.
00:11:51
Speaker
And, and that's so important for you that you've talked about in the past is like the why with all your classes.
00:11:56
Speaker
So when you teach classes, you're explaining the kids why you're teaching them this.
00:12:01
Speaker
So do you have some examples of that?
00:12:03
Speaker
I know, right, the breaking bread program is something you give the why with you.
00:12:07
Speaker
Well, a lot of these, you know, and I was thinking the same thing growing up, that these were arbitrary rules, you know, designed by some board aristocrat to drive us crazy, right?
00:12:16
Speaker
To drive us mad, have all these rules to remember.
00:12:19
Speaker
But there's really significance and an origin that makes perfect sense behind all these things, all these rules, right?
00:12:25
Speaker
From basic hygiene rules to how to show appreciation.
00:12:30
Speaker
So the why is very, very important.
00:12:34
Speaker
I hear a lot of whys in my class.
00:12:37
Speaker
You know, the etiquette is there for varying reasons.
00:12:42
Speaker
When we understand our expectations and what's expected of us at a dinner or a party, when we know what to expect, we can spend the time and energy doing other things, more fun things, engaging with other people.
00:12:55
Speaker
We don't have to worry about, you know, which drink is mine or where do I put my napkin or all these things that are pretty frivolous in the moment.
00:13:02
Speaker
And we can focus on
00:13:04
Speaker
engaging with people and building relationships.
00:13:07
Speaker
But it's funny you mentioned about the why, because I've been working on a new workshop called Curious Courtesies.
00:13:14
Speaker
It's kind of a tongue twister for me.
00:13:16
Speaker
But it delves, it deep delves into the why and all of the kind of odd origins of these, you know, what we think are arbitrary rules, right?
00:13:26
Speaker
And the kind of funny and bizarre rules.
00:13:29
Speaker
origins of them.
00:13:30
Speaker
So one, for example, I think this is one of my favorite is why we cheers, you know, obviously, I'm not teaching the children to cheers, but why as adults do or do we have the tradition to cheers?
00:13:40
Speaker
And it's actually interesting, because back, you know, mold, you know, hundreds and hundreds of years ago, the royalty would have to be nervous about people poisoning their drinks.
00:13:51
Speaker
So as a way to kind of circumvent and
00:13:54
Speaker
And, you know, to make the royal family feel safer, everybody would pour a little bit of their drink into their neighbor's drink.
00:14:01
Speaker
And this, over the years, turned into everybody putting their drinks together and cheersing, right?
00:14:07
Speaker
Everybody sharing a little bit of their beverage to make it known that, you know, the drinks are okay.
00:14:13
Speaker
No one's going to get poisoned in this.
00:14:15
Speaker
So the whys are kind of funny, you know what I mean?
00:14:18
Speaker
And
00:14:20
Speaker
you don't really think about them until, you know, you at one of my classes and you're curious, why does this matter?
00:14:27
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:14:28
Speaker
And the why is important too, because children are more apt to take it in and memorize it and, and have it be a lifelong lesson when they understand the background to do it.
00:14:38
Speaker
Yeah, it puts it in context.
00:14:40
Speaker
It's not just some arbitrary thing.
00:14:42
Speaker
Yeah, it has a purpose.
00:14:44
Speaker
And even if the purpose is outdated, it's still tradition.
00:14:47
Speaker
And so kind of learning about that is really good.
00:14:49
Speaker
Yeah, it's interesting, right?
00:14:50
Speaker
Yeah, it is interesting.
00:14:52
Speaker
I think the why, quite honestly, is really just as important
Impact of parenting styles on character development
00:14:56
Speaker
for the mom.
00:14:56
Speaker
So if we go back to the example of the mom being super stressed out,
00:15:01
Speaker
and you know she's just in survival mode so if we're talking to the moms right now that are in survival mode and then we're talking to them about learning character strengths and modern manners like for some people that might start to put them into a tailspin they're like oh my gosh like i can barely get food on the table so let's speak a little bit more to the importance of you know this kind of the concept of like an emotional intelligence versus the intellectual intelligence like we all know
00:15:28
Speaker
that we want our kids to make good grades in school and to try hard because we know that has a purpose, like that'll help us get a good job.
00:15:35
Speaker
But can you share your thoughts about like building up like that person, who they are on the inside in that emotional way?
00:15:43
Speaker
Again, it goes back to my theory about the parents being the best teachers.
00:15:46
Speaker
You have to model this behavior.
00:15:48
Speaker
If you're so stressed out, I mean, I get it.
00:15:51
Speaker
I've been there.
00:15:51
Speaker
I wish I had a magic solution to help the moms.
00:15:58
Speaker
But, you know, take a step back, you know, remember that you're your children's greatest teacher.
00:16:04
Speaker
And I think, you know, your children, again, pick up on every little thing, every little thing you're trying that you put out into the world.
00:16:10
Speaker
And so you had a guest on on your podcast recently who brought out the the oxygen mask analogy that commonly gets discussed when, you know, when you were stressed out and were frantic and were frustrated.
00:16:24
Speaker
you know, and we're trying to take care of so many things.
00:16:26
Speaker
Why it's so important to put the mask on us, right?
00:16:29
Speaker
Put the mask on us.
00:16:30
Speaker
And so we care of other people.
00:16:32
Speaker
But I also think it's important to put the mask on us first and to take care of us of ourselves first, because then the child might actually learn, Oh, you know what?
00:16:40
Speaker
Mom doesn't need to put the mask on me.
00:16:42
Speaker
I can put the mask on myself and then I can help mine.
00:16:45
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:16:46
Speaker
I hope that makes sense.
00:16:47
Speaker
But I, again, it's the modeling.
00:16:49
Speaker
If you're not going to teach your children how to be a good, calm person,
00:16:53
Speaker
a child who is harmonious and is confident when you're not.
00:16:58
Speaker
And I wish I had a magic wand or a solution to help the moms de-stress.
00:17:05
Speaker
I'm also, you know, a mom always trying to de-stress myself.
00:17:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:10
Speaker
But just remembering that your children are seeing everything.
00:17:13
Speaker
They are taking everything.
00:17:16
Speaker
And that's my best advice.
00:17:17
Speaker
You know, if you're going to
00:17:19
Speaker
If you need a moment to yourself to act in a way to get your emotions out, do so where your children can't see you, you know, go to go to the bedroom, act out your frustrations and then come back out, you know?
00:17:34
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:17:36
Speaker
And I'm thinking of, so I, when I teach, I talk about four different parenting styles.
00:17:41
Speaker
And so kind of like what I'm alluding to a little bit is maybe actually it could kind of fall under several different categories when I talked about the stressed out mom, because quite honestly, all parenting are stressed out moms, but I have, there's four quadrants, if you can imagine them.
00:17:56
Speaker
And
00:17:57
Speaker
um, the, the kind of axes on the horizontal basis is boundaries.
00:18:01
Speaker
So on this one side, it's very strong boundaries on this other side, it's very weak boundaries.
00:18:06
Speaker
Um, and then the, the top to bottom is, um, kind of lovingness or planning and the bottom is a little bit less caring.
00:18:13
Speaker
And so if you can imagine this, um, what happens is that that top left is the helicopter parent, where there are very, very loving,
00:18:21
Speaker
very, very nurturing, all these things, but yet they're not strong on the boundaries.
00:18:28
Speaker
And so, or there's also the other term that people use now, snowplow parenting, which is they're just paving the way to make life easy for their kids.
00:18:36
Speaker
They're so concerned with their child's happiness instead of having their child having to learn some struggles so that they're actually building their character, building their strength and building that grit and resilience.
00:18:46
Speaker
Right.
00:18:47
Speaker
So I feel like that, you know, it is like a great kind of, you know, understanding for the parents to see that maybe they are actually, I don't want to use the word harming their children, but kind of doing their children a disservice by this helicopter parenting style.
00:19:04
Speaker
And then I'll go through the styles and then maybe you can comment on all of them.
00:19:08
Speaker
Then the bottom left con, sorry, quadrant is low boundaries, low caring, low
00:19:15
Speaker
Low nurturing.
00:19:16
Speaker
And that is the avoidant parent.
00:19:17
Speaker
So they're the ones that are kind of checked out.
00:19:19
Speaker
They're too busy, either they're too busy with work, they're too busy partying, they're too busy with something else in their life.
00:19:25
Speaker
That's a distraction from their child.
00:19:29
Speaker
Or they just have an ability to connect emotionally.
00:19:31
Speaker
Maybe they've had some trauma in the past, and they just struggle with interpersonal relationships.
00:19:35
Speaker
Bottom right is high boundaries, but low caring.
00:19:39
Speaker
And so they are like the military style parent.
00:19:41
Speaker
They are into control.
00:19:44
Speaker
They're into punishment.
00:19:45
Speaker
They are hardcore on rules, timeouts, taking away the phone, all sorts of things like that.
00:19:52
Speaker
And so, you know, we probably can have some issues there.
00:19:56
Speaker
And I'd love to get your feedback about that.
00:19:57
Speaker
And then the top parenting style, the authoritative style is what I'm talking about.
00:20:01
Speaker
style, which is strong on the caring and the nurturing and also strong on the boundaries.
00:20:07
Speaker
And so that kind of really makes me think about all the things that you're doing.
00:20:11
Speaker
So can you like maybe comment on those parenting styles and how it relates to what you're doing?
00:20:16
Speaker
The classes that I teach aren't, you know, going to change a child's life overnight.
00:20:21
Speaker
I'm simply planting a seed.
00:20:23
Speaker
I'm one of the many, hopefully things that are in a child's life to kind of support them and booster them up.
00:20:29
Speaker
But, you know, the parenting styles,
00:20:31
Speaker
That's all we know, right?
00:20:33
Speaker
We teach what we know.
00:20:34
Speaker
We don't consciously teach in a certain way.
00:20:38
Speaker
It's just the way we react.
00:20:41
Speaker
It's subconscious and it's like breathing and blinking.
00:20:45
Speaker
So I don't...
00:20:47
Speaker
I'm not the expert on parenting, unfortunately.
00:20:49
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:51
Speaker
No, that's kind of my thing.
00:20:52
Speaker
So I kind of threw that on you, you know?
00:20:54
Speaker
But I thought it's kind of cool to just think about how our two worlds do intersect in that way because, you know, when you think about it, the authoritative parent, that healthy style is really the one that is probably modeling the best, you know, character strengths and the best manners for their parent or for their children.
00:21:14
Speaker
That doesn't mean the other parents aren't modeling it correctly.
00:21:17
Speaker
However, you know, if we're always trying to make things easy for our kids, then maybe we're not being the best role models, right?
00:21:25
Speaker
Like maybe we are bulldozing some people.
00:21:28
Speaker
Maybe we're the type that's like, well, I want to fight for my child.
00:21:31
Speaker
So I'm going to jump in line in front of this other parent.
00:21:34
Speaker
Or maybe I'm going to put this other kid, you know, kind of like being like a little bit aggressive or assertive for the sake of their child.
00:21:40
Speaker
But then the child's watching that.
00:21:42
Speaker
And so then they suddenly have this like entitled thing.
00:21:44
Speaker
They're like, oh, well, I'm more important than this other family because my mom had, right?
00:21:50
Speaker
And so, yeah, I mean, it can get really complex.
00:21:53
Speaker
We could get really, really, really deep into that.
00:21:55
Speaker
So let's, let's kind of stay focused on your lane.
00:21:58
Speaker
So yeah, again, talking about the why, the emotional intelligence.
Focusing on children’s strengths for better decision-making
00:22:03
Speaker
What about, you know, again, with the character strengths, I think what's cool is I know I use them to coach clients.
00:22:10
Speaker
So
00:22:11
Speaker
When I can help a client feel good about themselves, whether it's the parent or the child, right?
00:22:17
Speaker
Like I see this strength in you.
00:22:19
Speaker
How can we use that to kind of like achieve the goal that you want to achieve and kind of really build that up?
00:22:27
Speaker
And so I have a feeling that when you're working with your classes and your workshops, you know, you're kind of maybe asking them to like find what they like about themselves or like figure out what their strengths are.
00:22:38
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:22:39
Speaker
You help like elicit that out of them.
00:22:42
Speaker
Yes.
00:22:42
Speaker
Well, I mean, and that comes, I've been doing a lot of research on the positive psychology and focusing on our strengths and not our weaknesses.
00:22:48
Speaker
Right.
00:22:49
Speaker
And that's exactly what I do.
00:22:50
Speaker
Right.
00:22:51
Speaker
I think back in, you know, when, when we were younger, it was what was wrong with you.
00:22:55
Speaker
How can you fix what's wrong with you?
00:22:57
Speaker
Well, yeah.
00:22:58
Speaker
And then completely ignoring our strengths, the things that make us actually wonderful people.
00:23:04
Speaker
And so I do that.
00:23:05
Speaker
I try and focus on our strengths and allow those strengths to guide us on how to have proper behavior, make great choices, how to have, you know, make ethical decisions.
00:23:15
Speaker
And yeah, the strengths are everything.
00:23:17
Speaker
And knowing our strengths, knowing the type of person we are is important because then we can make better decisions.
00:23:25
Speaker
It also allows us to interact with other people better and understand other people also.
00:23:31
Speaker
Going back to the character strengths and the teaching of them and the intention of explaining what each one is to the children.
00:23:40
Speaker
Yes, they hear about them in the periphery or in different venues, but to have the intentional focus on them allows them to develop them themselves and see it in other people and recognize it in other people more.
00:23:54
Speaker
So I think it's important, again, the strengths, knowing yourself, having a real understanding of who you are at the core is very important.
00:24:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:03
Speaker
Yeah.
Closing and invitation to next episode
00:24:04
Speaker
I'm going to pause my conversation with Barbara Achilles Minardi.
00:24:07
Speaker
If you'd like to hear more, listen to the next episode.