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Guest: Author and Magician David Kempf
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David Kempf has written over fifty short stories, many with horror themes. He’s won several writing awards and is a frequent contributor to the British website Masters of Horror U.K. He has written two children's books, four plays, two short story collections, and produced several short films and audio drama podcasts. David was a contributing author to More Modern Myth-makers (from Crystal Lake Publishing) where he interviewed some of the top names in horror. He's also had several of his short stories featured on Dead Airwaves, a horror story podcast. David also contributed to the poetry book Venomous Words, which made the preliminary ballot nomination for the Bram Stoker Awards.
We talk Salem's Lot, shark movies and their ripoffs, the plusses and minuses of AA, living with tourettes, magic and magic movies, getting more than you bargained for, the Psycho franchise, and Tales from the Crypt.
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Transcript
Introduction to Mentally Oddcast
00:00:02
Speaker
You are listening to the Mentally Oddcast, where we talk with creatives about neurodivergence, trauma, addiction, and all the other things that impact and inform our art. Our goal is to show everyone that no matter what you're going through, you are not alone and you can make art about it.
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Music
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You are listening to the Mentally
Meet the Hosts and Sponsor
00:00:36
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Oddcast. My name is Wednesday, leave Friday, and we are brought to you by Sometimes Hilarious Horror Magazine.
Guest Introduction: David Kemp
00:00:43
Speaker
This week we have David Kemp, who has written over 50 short stories, many with ah horror themes. So um he's actually won several writing awards and is a frequent contributor to Masters of Horror UK.
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He's written two children's books, four plays, has two short story collections available, and has produced a few short films and audio dramas.
Early Horror Influences
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um I love audio dramas. I'm big fan.
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So um hi, Dave. Thanks for being here. Hey, Wednesday. It's a pleasure to be here. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Right? Right? So um and generally, we like to get started by asking guests to tell us the story of the first horror movie that they remember seeing. And I am excited to hear yours.
00:01:32
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Yeah, it's that's kind of it's a kind of like a ah little complicated because, you know, your memory doesn't go all the way back, obviously, you know. um I don't know if I should count Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein like on Shock Theater, but I guess in a way that... If it scared you, then should. Okay, well, I guess it scared me a little bit. So I guess we could technically make that the first one. It would definitely be followed by, this is really dating me here with my age,
00:02:03
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uh Kolchak the Night Stalker nice nice uh early 70s watch that with my grandfather uh holy moly I just I don't know that vampire seemed really real to me when I was little you know and then my grandfather had also taken me to see even though it's I think it rated G it wasn't even horror per se but Sinbad in the Eye of the Tiger ah the uh okay yeah the the The witch lady who was like the villain when she turned herself into a seagull and she didn't have enough magic to transform back and she had like a ah a seagull foot. I was like traumatized. Wow.
00:02:45
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That poor woman has a seagull foot. That's so awful. Then I guess ah Orca, which, you know, of the better at the draw better of the Jaws ripoffs, you know, because...
00:02:56
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Well, the whole thing with the pup and them hosing it off the deck of the ship just terrified me as a kid. That was horrifying. Oh, yeah. i felt so And you felt bad for it, you know. And I like the ah i like the little jab at Jaws they got with it killing a great white shark.
00:03:14
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And then they got Orca back in Jaws 2 when they had the washed work of whale on the beach. That was a sleigh to Orca. But I'd have to say that...
Favorite Horror Films and Scenes
00:03:26
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Watching sal the original Salem's Lot, the one with James Mason, you know, ah the 1979 movie that you and I talk about on Facebook sometimes. um That scared the living crap out of me. I'm pretty sure I slept in my grandparents' bed that night.
00:03:41
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ah that Obviously, you know what I'm going to talk about, the little boy. float in the
00:03:50
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ah You know, Jaws 2 scared me a little bit, but it was more like a thrilling kind of, scared. And then, um, I'd say that when they re-released Jaws the year after the original Jaws, after Jaws, uh, two, the next year they re-released the original that just had me completely enthralled. I ended up ah stealing my aunt's copy of Jaws and read it. They didn't want me reading a trashy book like Jaws, but I still but oh my shouldn you shouldn't be like bragging that I stole my aunt's book. Right. But
00:04:24
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um No, no, you borrow books. You don't steal them. Exactly. And I just, I was just like so into it. And I got to tell you, i mean, I i i like the the happy ending with the Hooper living at the end of Jaws.
00:04:40
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Yeah, yeah. I read it after I saw it, so I didn't, I didn't know. But they missed they they missed out on the most terrifying scene because... that the part of the book where Hooper gets eaten in the cage is the scariest part of that novel.
00:04:56
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Oh yeah, definitely. Well, unless you're afraid of the mob.
00:05:02
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That's true, Mare Vaughn. People give Mare Vaughn a tough time, but but that's only because they took the the mob out of the movie, so people don't know that that's the whole thing. He's terrified of the mob.
00:05:16
Speaker
You actually write a lot more than horror. Like I know you as a horror guy, but you write a lot of different things. And um so what I would actually like to know is, i mean, we're going to talk movies because we're both movie fans. So do you have a single favorite movie?
00:05:33
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Well, I'm afraid we're going have to go back to the ocean again. um Jaws is my favorite movie of all time. the the The original, obviously. All right. Not Cruel Jaws.
00:05:46
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Not Ultimal Squallow. Yeah, there's a lot of Jaws, you folks. Well, I saw Ultimal Squallow at the theater. The American title was Craig White.
00:05:57
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And it was only in this country for maybe two weeks. But, you know, my family, we'd be watching shark movies. So we went to see it opening weekend and then it was just gone and there was no internet to find out what happened. It was just, oh, that movie got released and then it was gone.
00:06:14
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wouldn do it do they know Was this like ah a low budget coal kind of theater were they playing it with mainstream movies too? Oh, they were playing it in just the regular theater that we always went to. I think like the Berkeley maybe.
00:06:26
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um No, it wouldn't have been in the Berkeley yet. It would have been just the the regular you know movie theater at the mall that we would have gone to because it's – I mean it was Italian horror. So we were told that it was like this imported shark movie and it had Vic Morrow in it and I knew who Vic Morrow was because of the Bad News Bears.
00:06:45
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Oh, wow. That would have been a fun one to see in the theater. I think Piranha would have been a good one to see in the theater too, I think. Oh, totally. We actually – B&H went to see the the new – The last Piranha that they did like 10 years ago or whatever, the one that starts out with, ah ah you know, Hooper in the in the boat in the beginning. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah. um Yeah, those were those were fun. I like the Joe Dante one the best, though. it was just a shameless Joel's ripoff.
00:07:19
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and yeah I mean, isn't the girl like playing a Jaws game in the beginning of the movie or something? Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, that was the thing about like Jaws ripoffs tend to be the most shameless.
00:07:34
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You know, like anytime you've got a shark that someone calls Bruce and all the dogs are named Pipit.
The Impact of Open Water and Real Sharks
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That's funny. One of the the more modern shark movies that I really loved was Open Water.
00:07:49
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and Oh, that was great. And even they had Jaws shout out, but it wasn't until the very end because you're not sure if they're going to make it at that point. It's like, are they going to live? They used real sharks.
00:08:00
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Yes. They used real sharks in that movie. And, you know, like the medieval night armor from the waist down, they just use that in the water if the sharks bit them. Really? Really. Isn't that crazy?
00:08:12
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That is crazy because I would think you would sink like a stone. That movie really upset me because it's a true story. you know Yeah, Open Water is a really messed up movie. like Once I saw it, i I had heard that it was based loosely on a true story, and you know how true stories are. I mean they said that i know, but a couple really did.
00:08:32
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But yes, it turned out that one was really accurate. Yeah, that that's that's that's really awful. of course, they had some stuff that they just made up after that, you know some sequels for them, but...
00:08:45
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Oh, and those sequels were bad. Oh, they were bad. They, like, hurt me with how bad they were.
00:08:51
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but But there is that moment where you're not sure whether or not they're going to live, and then they find their IDs, and their last names are Kittner and Watkins. And you're like, oops, they're dead.
00:09:03
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Yep, yep. That's funny. Isn't that wild? but I like that. that's that's That's shameless. it's it's ah It's so on the news. I mean, like, when you're
00:09:17
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Oh, please go ahead. No, sorry. I was just thinking like Straker and Salem's Lot is not Stoker, but it' it's just it's just enough that, you know, it's a tribute, but it's not like, you know, Barlow's partner in crime, Bram Stoker, who hides the vampire. It's not like it's not on the nose on the nose.
00:09:36
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Well, that's why empires named Vlad always make me roll my eyes whenever I read a book and it's like, oh, good old Vlad.
Cultural Impact of Horror Films
00:09:44
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Whatever. but then Did you ever see Dracula's Dog?
00:09:48
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Dracula's Dog, did you ever see that? No. Oh, that's good. I think I came up with a bad movie you haven't seen. I'm sure there's lots.
00:09:59
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if but I'm sure there are too. If memory serves... and I could be mistaken in my memory, but i'm pretty sure I'm right. I think like the dog is trying to find descendants of Dracula. And it's so bad that like the guy's name is Mike Dracula.
00:10:19
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um like So it's like the dog's looking for a descendant of the count. You don't mean old Mike Dracula, do you? yeah And just the fact that it's about... out my
00:10:33
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The Dracula's dog thing, to it's just too, like, you know, there's enough about Dracula. What about his dog? No one's ever made a movie about his dog. And you know what's funny is it it has the same actor, and I forget his name now. The one who plays Barlow in the 79 Salem's Lot is in Dracula's dog.
00:10:52
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Wow. reg You mean Reggie Nedler? That's correct. Yes, I forgot his name. And I think we have ah we have a soap of him and in my soap shop, the of the master from Salem's Lot.
00:11:06
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I was just washing my hands with your wolf soap.
00:11:12
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We were really lucky, actually, we because we got a Hollywood sculptor to do that sculpt when we had our Kickstarter to start the business. And he has actually since gone on to do um he made the the shrunken head that was in the the Birds of Prey movie.
00:11:29
Speaker
Oh, wow. And the actress actually touched it. Yeah, and he did ah he worked on the masks for the movie Black Phone, too. That's the guy that does our ah custom soap mold. So he did us a Barlow, and he did a He Who Kills from Trilogy of Terror.
00:11:47
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and we Really? Oh, wow. yeah Yeah, and we have a Jaws. We have a Jaws soap. and um And that one was actually not... Yeah, yeah. Is it short? Oh, okay. It is. It's the, um like the, you know, from below the mouth up shot, like basically the shot that's the front of the novel and the poster.
00:12:07
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It's that. So yeah, we definitely have that ah available in our our soap shop and everybody should buy it because it's awesome. And we also have ah Blinky the Three-Eyed Fish, except not that. It's just another fish that isn't from The Simpsons, but looks strikingly like Blinky the Three-Eyed Fish.
00:12:27
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So yeah. Wow. You should do Ben's bend severed head from the the the inside of the boat that Hooper finds from Jaws. That would be an interesting soap. That's interesting. Yeah. you See, the thing is that like, I'm trying to come up with ideas that are like for things that took place after 1980 and I rarely have them. All of my most beloved horror things are, are old things. And then, you know, I'll talk to like last week I had a guest on my show who was 26 and I'm trying to talk to them about movies from the seventies. Oh, right. Because you're a fetus.
00:13:03
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Um, Well, and they were so great, such a great guest. But like, I don't remember that not everyone, you know, I have like basically a family guy concept of time.
00:13:16
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Like I'm completely juvenile, but all of my humor is like 40 years old at this point. Yeah, i I know what you mean. i can I can feel myself age as I look at the movies that I love.
00:13:30
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you know and What do you mean everybody doesn't love Leslie Nielsen? What the hell is wrong with you people?
00:13:39
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Wasn't he the principal in Prom Night or am I remembering that wrong? Oh gosh. I would have to look, honestly. he was in He was in some horror movie where the kids were getting killed and then some lady was like, we need to talk to the principal and it wasn't it wasn't a comedy.
00:13:54
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But he just said, I'm the principal. And I just started to fall off my chair laughing, waiting for him to say something funny. But he didn't. I can't look at him without laughing. Is it Terror Train?
00:14:06
Speaker
Because that one has all the kids on it. I mostly, i mean, when I think of Leslie Nielsen being scary or in a scary movie, it's all about Creepshow. 100% Creepshow. And he's hilariously funny and scary at the same time.
00:14:19
Speaker
Yes. Like, I don't know. but I don't know why. Because if you see it when you're a kid. Great movie. it It is. As a kid, you don't necessarily catch on to a lot of the the humor, the black comedy of it.
00:14:33
Speaker
um The fact that Billy is not saying crotch and she's saying something else. um That's funny. and And you know what else, too, is like ah it's just the perfect blend of King and Romero together with their yeah love of EC Comics.
00:14:50
Speaker
And like, I wouldn't have thought it was funny when I was a kid, but as an adult, you know, when you see the hillbilly guy imagining getting paid that money and then it says Department of Meteors, that's hilarious. yeah that's That's like Stephen King's humorous side coming through, I think, which, you know, he he does have, you know, in his movies.
00:15:15
Speaker
I mean, yeah, well, the movies and the and the and definitely, you know, the novels and, you know. I mean, it's the i mean, that's funny in Salem's Lot is, you know, that ah the the hero there, Ben Mears, when they they need like a crucifix or something like that. And then he was raised Baptist, so he wouldn't have had any of those things. know Yeah, that's that's really funny. um And of course, ah you know, there's there's a lot of dark humor in the in the novel.
00:15:42
Speaker
They're ah spread spread throughout. It's it's kind of like ah our town except for vampires, I think. yeah totally well what did you think of the new salem slot because people are having big feelings about it i i tell you what i i agree with you on a lot of these things i gotta tell you because i i love the joker sequel i'm sorry i just really thought it was fun yeah i liked it i loved alien romulus i thought he you know they they hit it out of the park And ah I love the new Salem Slot. I do have a problem with it. It was too short. They they could have added an hour. and would I would have loved it as a miniseries. Well, they cut an hour out of it.
00:16:23
Speaker
Like they told us. they They wanted to trim it down to two hours. And every fan in the world said, well, sirs, that's not how this story is meant to be told. And the guy from Game of Thrones was a pretty good Marlowe, not James Mason. Oh, my God. Yeah, it really was. Not Donald Sutherland, but made it creepy in his own way.
00:16:42
Speaker
You know, well and that's the thing I love how much new they did with it. You know, it wasn't like they were just impersonating the previous films, like the whole taking of Ralphie Glick. That whole scene had that like wonderful
Books that Shaped the Guests
00:16:57
Speaker
German expressionism. It kind of reminded me of the man who laughs just that very theatrical. Like, is that a scream? Are you just lighting a scream back there for these little boys to get kidnapped?
00:17:10
Speaker
Oh, geez. Yeah, it is ah very ah the scene where the two kids are walking in the woods. is it was It was almost like a fairy tale. was very menacing. Yeah, very menacing. And it was an interesting, you know, compromise to make Barlow sort of like the the Reggie character in the 79 movie. There was a Nosferatu nod, but make him he doesn't say much, but he does talk. You know he didn't talk.
00:17:33
Speaker
He was just this. I guess he must communicate telepathically with Straker in the the miniseries, the original one. But it seems like it. But like. ah He you know, he spoke in the in the last two versions of it.
00:17:49
Speaker
um I would like to see a version where he can morph from handsome young man to old man to that Nosferatu evil looking thing, depending on how much blood he's had or something like that.
00:18:01
Speaker
I think would be... Which, you know what? I would bet that Joe Hill agrees with you because that's exactly what he did in his story, Nasheratu, with the vampire and Christmasland and everything because he goes through a lot of different permutations. And that makes more sense than having somebody that, you know, you're undead, you stay alive by, like, drinking people. So that's going to probably have some impact on your on your appearance.
00:18:30
Speaker
Right. and And but also like the the the the great thing about the novel that's missing in all the adaptations is Barlow's pride. And the way that, you know, Ben Mears and the teacher, Mike, like they just decide the best way to attack him is with his ego and his pride, because someone who's thousands of years old must have an ego the size of Mount Rushmore, you know? you have and And I love that part where Ben says he doesn't care if Attila the Hun tried to best Barlow in Lost. He said, I want my shot. That's so inspiring and so cool.
00:19:06
Speaker
But like, yeah, he he he he definitely had, you know, a great sense of pride. I also like like when he told Father Callahan that when he was talking about Mark Petrie, he said, the boy is 10 of you.
00:19:19
Speaker
and yeah But of course, he got redeemed though in the Dark Tower series though. You know, I haven't read that. I have not read any of that series. so Really?
00:19:31
Speaker
i know. It's a it's a big ah gap in my my reading. but That's right. You know what? i so I still have not finished reading The Green Mile, which I should have. Oh, wow. you know It's fantastic. i just you know it's But it's a long book and I read kind of slow to be honest. Yeah.
00:19:48
Speaker
um I get it. Yeah, see, that's the thing. I have ADD, and I didn't know it for most of my life. And now so many things make perfect sense, one of which is why I tend to reread things more than I tend to read new things.
00:20:04
Speaker
i i I do that, too. I've i've read Jaws so many times. I've read Salem's Lot so many times. Right, right. Like I'd rather read Carrie or The Stand again because I'm really sensitive to media. So like when I read Pet Sematary, I went went in completely cold. I was in high school and man, that book fucked me up.
00:20:26
Speaker
yeah you know i would I was like tearing out the pages when I was reading it. It was get scared the hell out of me. It's a really scary book.
00:20:37
Speaker
Well, and it's not just King that does that to me, because, man, when I read The Road, I was in just a fog for like days. Oh, my gosh. Oh, geez. Yeah, that is that that is not a happy time story hour there. That is very dark and dismal, that read. It's a great book, but it's... That book thrashed me around so bad that somebody was like, isn't the punctuation weird? And I was like, wait, punctuation? I didn't even notice.
00:21:03
Speaker
Too many people were eating each other for me to notice the conversation. i yeah I have to say, ah other than Angela's Ashes, it's probably the most depressing book I've ever read.
00:21:16
Speaker
I was horrified by it. I threw Mr. Greer across the room when I was done with it. Oh, man. what It was depressing. I was pissed. I'm like, man, his wife is an asshole.
00:21:28
Speaker
I'm like, Yeah. yeah that shame for yeah I got a, I don't mind reading like heavy stuff, but honestly, like I have to read two light, stupid fun books with every heavy, depressing thing. That's going to make me feel depressed and down.
David's Dark Fiction and Writing Journey
00:21:44
Speaker
Totally. I just, I just can't, you know, and then there's stuff where people die and everything. ah But there's enough humor thrown in that it's not like traumatizing to read you know?
00:21:58
Speaker
Right. do you ah Do you read Christopher Moore? I have. I have. Because he's a great one for like people are dying, but it's still hilarious.
00:22:10
Speaker
Yeah. of he what One of his characters was Abby Normal, right? Yeah.
00:22:18
Speaker
Or am I thinking of somebody else? Well, there is there's definitely that that Abby from the – she's in the the vampire books and the – Yeah, it's called You Suck, right?
00:22:28
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, because there's – Yeah, whatever was that hurting when it was her name was Abby Normal. and Stealing from young Frankenstein there.
00:22:41
Speaker
Right. All right. So um I want to hear about your book, Damned Fiction. um The premise ah is, i mean, I found it an aspirational premise, but it probably shouldn't be. It's a gig that I would be like, yes, definitely sign me up.
00:22:58
Speaker
That would probably be my downfall though, right? I assume you've seen episodes of the Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt, so you probably know that there's so something ah something coming.
00:23:12
Speaker
Wait, it's not more than I bargained for, is it? I hate getting more than I bargained for. It might be a bad deal for you there. might be more than you bargained for.
00:23:23
Speaker
um It's got the central – I don't know if you should say the central – but one of the main characters – the important supernatural character from my dark fiction books, Dr. Henry David Wells, he made a pact with ah evil genies, the djinn, in the first book.
00:23:41
Speaker
And then in damned fiction, ah Satan destroys the djinn. Rude. There's nobody left but him. And he wants to get in good with the the devil because the djinn have already given him unnaturally long life. He was actually...
00:23:59
Speaker
a soldier during the American Revolution on the British side who saw like all his British comrades get killed and he he was afraid of death so he kind of made like a Faustian pact with the djinn when he climbed into a cave in the and course of the stories and um so he wants to be ah Satan's biographer so to speak and then there's a character from my my other stories from dark fiction ah Sarah Nolan, who writes Erotica, and Satan decides he wants to have a contest whether images of sex or violence corrupt the human soul more.
00:24:39
Speaker
And the the winner of this short story contest gets to write his life story, and of course he'll give him a number of other perks that other writers won't get.
00:24:50
Speaker
So yeah, it but it was a really, really fun premise because, you know, it's got the erotica stories and it's got the horror stories and they start to merge together like as they try to compete for Satan's attention. And obviously, you know, since Satan wants to be number one on Amazon, it doesn't take itself too seriously.
00:25:12
Speaker
You know, it's, it's, it's almost, almost like a parody of like the omen and, um, um you know uh rosemary well rosemary's baby is practically a parody within itself actually there's so much so much humor thrown into that well yeah you know that's another i think rosemary's baby is is not unlike the stepford wives in that they made these really scary serious movies about it but when you read it there is a lot of humor happening
00:25:44
Speaker
Yeah. And some of it, you have to think about it, you know, an IR11 death trap too. And as I got older and saw the play live and watch the movie again, there's so many double and Sanchez and things that you didn't think about the first time was like multiple, multiple meanings, you know? And I know you're a big fan of that as well. Just to, did you ever see that live or did you just see the movie?
00:26:09
Speaker
I only have, I've never seen it done on stage and I was 11 when I saw the film in the theater. so most of it went way over my head because I was really just stuck on the fact that Superman kissed the guy from Dressed to Kill and I did not understand what was happening.
00:26:26
Speaker
these saw if you saw dress If you saw Dressed to Kill before that, shouldn't have been that confusing. Well, but see, that's the thing. I saw it, but I did not understand it because I saw way too much stuff way too young. I mean, you what kind of maniac is a 10-year-old child to see Dressed to Kill?
00:26:44
Speaker
you know, a movie you about a transvestite killer that, ert well, we that's that's what they said at the time, transvestite killer. No, I understand. understand like ah I understand what you mean. A.K. Rowling, calm down. No, I totally get it. And I don't know whether I should even be willing to admit anymore that I actually love that movie. Oh, you should love it. love the Palma's movies.
00:27:09
Speaker
it's It's just the the the the humor in that. it was just taking Psycho to the next level is all it was doing. There's certainly that that aspect of it, yeah. And then just like your cast – You know, your young Keith Gordon.
00:27:24
Speaker
I mean, that's that's just wild because people forget that Keith Gordon was an actor long before he directed anything. Yeah, that's true. And there's way before Back to School, you know. Right. Well, before Jaws 2 even.
00:27:39
Speaker
Yeah, and that was – the movie was just – I don't know. De Palma just takes Hitchcock to another level, like the the stuff that Hitchcock would have been censored from, I think.
00:27:50
Speaker
Well, and I think De Palma is more openly perverted than Hitchcock. He was trying to keep some of his own actual awareness under wraps. And De Palma was like, hey, I'm a white man. I don't have to do that.
00:28:03
Speaker
Here it is. Well, he certainly ah lit it all out there on on a screen. i do I do like the movie Blowout, too. I think that the last scene of that movie is phenomenal.
00:28:16
Speaker
Oh, sure. and And that movie does not get the love that it deserves. I think it's one of those ahead-of-its-time movies that people were just not ready for. And there's a lot of humor in that, too. I mean, you ever look at some of the ridiculous movie titles in that horrible studio that John Travolta's character works at, they do not make quality movies at that place.
00:28:38
Speaker
But, yeah, I mean, I was always a big fan of those. Who's greenlighting these? Adam Sandler? Exactly. Exactly. there There was, you know, I'm a big fan of the psycho movies as well. um And I think, ah
00:28:52
Speaker
you know, De Palma was taking that thing. I mean, like but when you look at Norman Bates, he's obviously usually killing women that he's attracted to and mothers telling him to not be attracted. that That's kind of like, but you know, it it took a step further and, and dress to kill, you know, for him to, to go with the but whole surgery there, you know, he was trying to hold himself back from it, from,
00:29:14
Speaker
doing of i guess what the largest part of his uh identity and ego wanted to do and i particularly like psycho too because i like how they switched it over and made norman the hero and uh lila loomis the the bad guy that was such a bitch in that movie and gee it's ingenious and what's really great what's really crazy is that she through her thirst for revenge, um, ends up getting a lot of people killed because Norman does go crazy again.
00:29:52
Speaker
Yep. If her and her daughter would have just left him alone, I'm not saying he definitely would have been sane, but, um He probably would have. I'm sure that Emma School would have screwed that up to some extent. Because that that but still would have... Because that's the thing. is It's hard. I've seen those movies so many times I could recite them.
00:30:12
Speaker
And I think it's still tricky to part what exactly... was Like with the phone calls because you don't know which phone calls were Lila and which calls were from Emma Spool who believed that she was his mother.
00:30:25
Speaker
So it's tricky in that way. like Because I've watched him a bunch of times and and just tried to figure out. like because it's even po It's even possible that Lila killed people to get him back in the institution. I mean I don't know if that's true but it's not out of the realm of possibility in the plot.
00:30:46
Speaker
Right. Like she seems like she's outraged about the death of that boy, you know, in in the cellar or whatever. But right by that point in the series, she's just such a conniving, terrible, singularly focused person that I wouldn't put anything past her at that point.
00:31:05
Speaker
Willing to risk your daughter's life to get revenge too. yeah Which is pretty gross. Sheriff Hunt has been voted the most incompetent sheriff in movie history. I found that funny.
00:31:17
Speaker
Wow, really? i saw that on the internet somewhere. Seems like there must be a cowboy movie that would take issue with that. Well, I think ah ah think when he reaches in to get the ice, he might have he might have earned the title crown.
00:31:35
Speaker
That's true because you watch that bloody ice cube go into his mouth. and And then he's then he's telling the reporter, yeah don't you tell me my business. tell me the job, Ms. Venable. That's right.
00:31:49
Speaker
And that's... You know what the weird thing about Psycho 3, though, is that woman, Tracy Venable, has to be at least, at least late 40s, early 50s. And everybody talks to her like she's some hot young dame. and And I just think every time, did you cast the wrong person? Because the guy that lets her ah look at the... um Yeah, yeah, I don know what you're talking about.
00:32:15
Speaker
Like, oh, it's so great to see someone without blue hair and varicose veins. And it's like, I hate to break this to you. That woman is no longer menstruating. Okay. You could not knock that woman up if you try.
00:32:29
Speaker
but Not a a slight on her journalism skills, but let's, let's all be clear about what we're dealing with. That's true. um But, you know, like ah the really funny thing is that she is almost presented as if she's the villain in that story.
00:32:47
Speaker
And she's actually doing the most good and helping somebody, you know, helping other people, save saving it. I was I feel so awful because when I watch it, I'm rooting for Norman to kill her. I was like, what's wrong with me? She's like the viewer has always to identify with Norman, even though he's the killer. We're supposed to feel bad for him.
00:33:08
Speaker
And you don't feel that way in the first movie, but the second movie gets you on his side. And you're on his side by the time of the third movie, and even though he's killing people. and you know And you would never root for a real-life serial killer unless you were a sociopath.
00:33:23
Speaker
But like within the context of Norman Bates' story, you know and you know what? i have to say, too, they they did a great job with Mr. Toomey in Psycho 2 and Duke in Psycho 3, getting you to really hate those guys.
00:33:39
Speaker
Yeah, I agree. They couldn't have been in the same movie. That would have been too over the top. right Well, Jeff Fahey has done done so much for horror and he does not get the props that he deserves.
00:33:51
Speaker
He really doesn't. um Because, I mean, Jeff Fahey is the freaking Lawnmower Man. And if they had not tied Stephen King's name to that script, that movie would have been great. Like, it would have done so well because it was a really innovative movie, you know, Lawnmower Man. And it, like, made you really identify with those those people. you know like We were glued to that kid's journey of being like... you know the i didn't i didn't think it was a bad film, honestly.
00:34:18
Speaker
no No, it definitely wasn't. it it really just so It's like the village. It suffered from poor marketing and people didn't know what to expect or what they were getting and so expectations were all over the place. you know Halloween 3, Season of the Witch.
00:34:32
Speaker
ah Okay, that's just how we came for. That's sacred to me. That's one of my favorite movies of all. I'm obsessed with that movie. the Halloween 3, not The Village.
00:34:44
Speaker
Although I did like The Village. i ah With my wife at the time and my aunt and uncle, we all went to see The Village. And three out of the four people hated it.
00:34:55
Speaker
And one person liked it. I think you can guess who the one who liked it was. yeah They were like, what kind of garbage stoop? I'm like, it's a psychological thriller.
00:35:06
Speaker
And they're like, ah you know, they they didn't like it. But how Halloween three, you know, with the all the Druid mystical Irish stuff that ah was done through Conal Cochran, you know, and you wonder, like, if he was like a thousand years old or if he was just practicing witchcraft and secret. And ah you wondered how many people were Druids and how many people were robots in that town.
00:35:35
Speaker
Right. And right most most of all, with ah Tom Atkins constantly, ah you know, of his character, um Dan Chalice with Chalice, you know, ignoring his kids drunk all the time when he's supposed to be a doctor and picking up some women half his age. What you really wondered is what the hell kind of a doctor is this?
00:36:02
Speaker
I'm this is wrong wait this is our hero, right? Well, right. He's the kind of doctor that you get when you base all of your doctor characters on like yeah ER and general hospital and stuff. Like, okay, totally irresponsible, moaning all the time. Yes, yes, that checks out.
00:36:22
Speaker
He made it believable, though. Oh, definitely. You definitely... yeah like yeah you' definite mean up you're definitely When have you ever watched Tom Atkins in a film and doubted whether or not he was a prick? I mean, come on.
00:36:41
Speaker
Yeah, I i love Tom Atkins, though. Oh, sure. my my my My one friend ah lives in the same town as him. He sees him like all the time. I'm like, will you get his autograph for me?
00:36:55
Speaker
Come on, just go there and say, hey. did could yout could you Could you have them sign, you know, stop it, stop it, for the love of God, stop it or something? yeah ah Could you tell him that I'm not allowed to read this garbage anymore and he's going to throw my comic book in the trash?
00:37:14
Speaker
ah
00:37:17
Speaker
Please. Which actually is weird though. I hear from people because, you know, I get to interview people sometimes because I'm lucky like that. And some of the things that fans ask famous people for is insane.
00:37:32
Speaker
It's just nuts. Absolutely. Right. Right. might looking at right When I interviewed Kyra, he told me that a fan at a convention wanted her to bite his arm hard enough that he could trace around the marks and get it tattooed. That's pretty crazy.
00:37:53
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I won't tell you the rest of the story, but but a fan did request that from her, and did she was not amused. It was is pretty horrifying.
00:38:04
Speaker
That fan needs some therapy, I think. think some therapy But that's the thing, like I'm Jack Spratt nobody, and people have gotten just sort of like weirdly fixated on... like I don't know what it is about like Z listers like me. It's like, okay, maybe I'm doing slightly better than someone who hasn't done the work.
00:38:25
Speaker
So you think like me being your pal is going to somehow legitimize you? First of all, I'm not twenty anybody. I'm not anybody who has the power to legitimize anyone as far as I know.
00:38:38
Speaker
yeah, I, I, I know what, I know what you mean. Like I've had people, who knew that I have credits in IMDB, like, like, wow, you made it. I'm like, I, let's not go that far. I'm happy to have the credits.
00:38:55
Speaker
What'd you say? So my, my standard example or my standard response to people that say, Oh my God, you made it is to say, you can't see my apartment. If you could see where I live, you would not be take that to me.
00:39:09
Speaker
That's funny. um So, yeah, well, the the few famous people that I have met, I haven't met that many. I went to Monster Mania in Cherry Hill, New Jersey with my brother-in-law at the time.
00:39:20
Speaker
And so you probably remember Buck Rogers, right? Oh, totally. Okay. um You know, the 70s show and the movie, you know what I mean? So I got to be-
00:39:35
Speaker
I wanted to visit Erin Gray in the Isle of Lesbos. Okay. That's how I remember Buck Rogers. Well, anyway, ah I also had a very strong crush on Miss Erin Gray. And um when I was waiting in line at Monster Mania to get my ah signature, I wanted John Carpenter to sign my first novel, Dark Fiction.
00:40:02
Speaker
And when I was waiting, and when I was waiting, Erin Gray was his manager. She came down. She's like, hi. She's like, I'm going to lead you this way to the line to meet John. she's like She's like, hi. She's like, I'm John's manager. I'm Erin. And I'm like, yeah, I know who you are.
00:40:16
Speaker
i was i was like i was like, don't say something stupid. I was saying to myself, don't say something stupid. I wanted to say I was in love with you when I was 10 and when I was 40. Yeah.
00:40:29
Speaker
And you would not believe it. She bought my book and had me sign it for oh that's How sweet is that? Very. And then, and then I was in line to meet carpenter and, uh, I, I freaking, you know, he's like a real gun nut in real life. So he was like talking about all these guns or something, stuff I didn't know about, you know, in front of me.
00:40:54
Speaker
And, um, When I finally got to actually meet him, I'd heard from other people and you know you can't base stuff on what other people say per se because it's all kinds of things.
00:41:07
Speaker
I heard he was kind of a jerk to people, to fans and stuff. but I heard that too, that he hates it when people come up to him and say what your their favorite Carpenter film is. Well, in my very limited experience, I'll just phrase it that way. How about that, to be fair? Okay.
00:41:25
Speaker
He could not have been nicer. he was incredibly nice. And I went over and he had been signing the thing and Halloween posters all day.
00:41:38
Speaker
And then I put down my novel for him to sign. He's like, what the hell is this?
00:41:46
Speaker
And then I said, oh, that's a novel that I wrote. It's my first novel. He's like that you wrote. He's like, oh, he's like, that's great, man. He's a congratulations on that. And then like he ah he's he signed and he was really just, I just thought he was so nice. And um when I went back downstairs to finish the weekend of selling my book, I was just like on cloud nine. My brother-in-law was like,
00:42:10
Speaker
a He's like, oh, how how was it upstairs? was it I'm like, Eric, great about my book. And John Carpenter saw my book. It's like this is great. It's like the greatest night of my life, you know. And um they had waited in line to see Norman Reedus. See, I'm an old man, so I went to see Carpenter. But you also had the opportunity to meet Norman Reedus.
00:42:29
Speaker
and i i took Nothing against Norman Reedus, you know. But if I had the choice, im the appeal I'm going to go with Carpenter, you know. Sure. Because i of course I just I love Escape from New York and Halloween. And I think the fog is incredibly underrated. And people are still talking about, you know, which one's the monster at the end of the thing. Or is it both or is it neither? You know, it's just ah yeah he's had a and an exceptional career.
00:42:57
Speaker
And, you know, we haven't touched on my recovery from ah alcoholism, but I will tell you a quick funny story.
Experiences with Addiction and Recovery
00:43:05
Speaker
It involves famous people again. Because when my therapist, she opened up one of our sessions in an IOP. I don't know if you know what an IOP is. It's an intensive outpatient. It's like rehab, but you get to go home at night. i don't know if you're familiar with that or not.
00:43:21
Speaker
Anyway. Oh, yeah. Two weeks ago. Oh, okay. So she opened up the ah session where everybody was sharing about a famous person they met. And, of course, I said John Carpenter, and he was nice. And ah somebody else met John Travolta.
00:43:38
Speaker
Somebody else, um I don't know who they met. It might might actually have been Gene Hackman, which is weird to talk about now. but Anyway, so my therapist, she went to the University of Boston, I guess, and she said that her and her girlfriends met Stephen King when they were at a diner late at night, and he was sitting there by himself taking notes.
00:44:02
Speaker
ah one um I didn't know that he did that. And then everybody was so excited. They're like, oh, my God, you met Stephen King. What did he say? What did he say? And then she goes, well, he did talk to us, to me and my girlfriends, and everybody's like, well, what did he say? What did he say?
00:44:18
Speaker
then she goes, he said, please leave me alone.
00:44:26
Speaker
That is fantastic. that is like And for some reason, I 100% believed her story after she said that.
00:44:37
Speaker
and You know people people don't want to be bothered, you know? I know um David Crosby was like that. I actually know two different stories of people that did not know each other that asked David Crosby for autographs, and both of the autographs said, fuck you, David Crosby.
00:44:57
Speaker
Jeez. Wow. Wow. He has enough weed. I don't know why he's acting like that. Yeah, he should be more calm.
00:45:08
Speaker
You'd think. You'd think. To be fair, though, I've never heard one bad thing about Clive Barker. He's supposed to be an absolute sweetheart to his fans. That is my understanding as well.
00:45:20
Speaker
Just really, really nice. And
00:45:26
Speaker
you know and of course, I'm not going to lie and say I'm not a little bit envious, but ah my my my friend Nicholas Grabowski – ah got a blurb from him that was just absolutely out of this world, just praising Nicholas's imagination. And he said, you know, i salute you.
00:45:46
Speaker
And I guess they became friends when they're doing book signings together. And, you know, he didn't have he didn't have to write, you know I mean, he didn't have to write a blurb for him just to be nice. He could have just you know said, no, sorry, I don't do that or whatever. Because I know i know people that are like bestselling Amazon authors, but they're certainly not household names.
00:46:08
Speaker
Right. And and and they they won't write blurbs for people like they're, you know. And sometimes I just want to say, you know, buddy. You're just a self-published author like the rest of this. I don't know.
00:46:22
Speaker
Even but if you sell a lot of books, which I think is great, and I think being traditionally published is great too, but um you might want to you might want to take it down a few notches and come back to earth a little bit, you know? Yep, yep.
00:46:37
Speaker
Because, yeah you know... Only under ah dire circumstances would i not write another writer a blurb. but i'm always flattered when they ask me. And even though I'm not selling near as many books as some of these people, my blurbs are Amazon viewer, Amazon viewer, Amazon viewer.
00:47:00
Speaker
but Well, you know, it's a tricky thing because if somebody approaches me and says, hey, will you review my book? And if it's somebody that I've never laid eyes on before, usually my first impulse is to get offended.
00:47:12
Speaker
Like, you don't know me. Why you asking me for a favor? um But at the same time, I don't want to be one of those jags who doesn't help people. Because, again, as I mentioned earlier, I'm pretty much nobody. so but But the thing is, if somebody sends me an arc and I don't like it, then it creates this awkward situation of like, well, do I put my name on a review that found some things that I can compliment in this book? Because I've i've told people, like, I read it.
00:47:42
Speaker
i don't I don't think you want me to leave an honest review, but but but I'll let you pick. If I tell the author I don't like the book and they want me to review it anyway, like because sometimes that's helpful.
00:47:53
Speaker
you know And if I say specifically what I don't like about it, it will still guide readers and make it clear that people that are not friends with the author are reading their book, which can be helpful depending on who you are. Because like most of my reviews are quite good, but at least half of them are from my friends and family. Yeah.
00:48:12
Speaker
Like, what yeah my Godmother found something good to say about my book. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm a good writer and you should buy it. Well, you know what? I only blurb and review books that I like because, you know, I'm not going to write a bad review um and I'm not going to write a dishonest good review. But I figure, you know, um also, I'm not the end all be all. you know Somebody else might like your book. It's just my taste, you know.
00:48:42
Speaker
um So, yeah, I try to I think writers should help other writers. And I really, honestly, I try to take the high road, you know? um And that's because if you really look at um
00:48:59
Speaker
the people who, who've a lot of them who really have their act together with being, I'm not going to say a great writer, but a good writer, somebody who's above competent,
00:49:10
Speaker
And, you know, has written some stuff of great merit. Usually, and again, this is my, we're going back to my very limited experience again, my limited life experience here.
00:49:22
Speaker
They don't have humongous egos. um You know, ah I mean, for William F. Nolan, because we're talking about Trilogy of Terror, you know, he wrote the screenplay for that. And I interviewed him on Masters Horror UK for him to write me a blurb. He's like my favorite writer almost. So to the for the most part, but like just, you know, speaks to his humility, you know, I think in a lot of ways passed a few years ago, but you know what I meant?
00:49:51
Speaker
Yes. But, you know, when people get in your face and say, oh, I'm a published writer, it always reminds me of people that are that are like ministers or priests, and they say it to bolster themselves.
00:50:05
Speaker
And it's like, no, dude, first of all, if you are a writer, there's luck involved. If you're able to, like, sit down and spend enough time to write an entire book, and then you publish it yourself, or you find someone to do it, there's privilege afoot.
00:50:21
Speaker
So right if you, and and plus, I mean, to be anyone as a writer, you need readers because it doesn't matter how good you are as a writer. If no one's reading you, it doesn't matter. So it is the kind of pursuit that I think should be humbling, just like devoting yourself to a congregation is supposed to be humbling. And yet when you bring it up as if it bolsters you or puts you above other people in some way,
00:50:49
Speaker
that's how we know you're a dick. And that's rule of thumb for me. It's like, yeah are you telling me that because you want me to have that information? Or are you telling me that because you don't like that a woman just disagreed with you and you want me to shut up? know I don't know the specific people you're talking about. No, that sounds specific, doesn't it?
00:51:12
Speaker
Like, wow. um Now, I mean, all all all all writers, though, think about this Wednesday, all writers are saying, my thoughts are so important. I'm going to write them down and I want to share them with you. So, you know, you have to counter that with some humility.
00:51:26
Speaker
Well, exactly. There is an inherent conceit to writing. And yeah, now, now if we can get a little more serious, I am aware that you have struggled with addiction.
00:51:37
Speaker
And that actually leads me to a question that we only ask with consent, which is, has there been a time when you felt in legitimate fear for your life? Absolutely. There was, it was a,
00:51:51
Speaker
a few months where my, my drinking was just out of, it was crazy. It was like, I wasn't eating food. Everything that went through my stomach was black coffee, vodka and seltzer water.
00:52:08
Speaker
why And, um, I ate food about every three days. It's kind of funny cause it was much skinnier than even though people think of alcoholics as, you know, having like a big beer gut or whatever. But, um,
00:52:23
Speaker
It yeah, it was it was it was terrifying and i have to say um i Was kind of like ah fighting help and Now that I've been sober for nine years i feel like I'm in a place where I can criticize a rehab that I went to that I didn't think did a particularly good job I can criticize aspects of 12-step programs that I don't particularly like um
00:52:54
Speaker
You know, I sort of had like a love-hate relationship with aa um But I mean, but like there's there's a lot of positive things that go on too. oh You know, um i I, you know, I went to a meeting the other night and, you know, it's got old people, young people, black people, white people, Democrats, Republicans.
00:53:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:24
Speaker
The point is, everybody's there to keep themselves sober. Right. And ah my my one friend who's transgender, you know, she always felt like, you know, maybe she wouldn't be accepted or whatever. But like everybody was like hugging her last night is saying how awesome she is. So, you know, there's there's a lot of positive things to say, too.
00:53:47
Speaker
um I guess what I don't like is And I don't want to make this too much of that. I probably shut off my mouth too much and now, to be honest. But, um you know, I wish people would be more honest about like what the real success rates are.
00:54:04
Speaker
Rehabs and, you know, it's it's hard. It's hard, you know, for for ah people to. get a real success rate, you know?
00:54:15
Speaker
um Well, because relapse is part of recovery. I mean, it's almost 100% that people will relapse and come back often multiple times. And if you don't know that because AA pretends that relapse is not part of recovery and that it's a failing of people will relapse and then give up.
00:54:36
Speaker
You know, and that's not even just booze. That's like people do that with with diets and and exercise and and hydration. Absolutely. Like, like ah well, I made this one change and everything didn't get better.
00:54:46
Speaker
i guess. Fuck it. And, you know, go back to old habits. AA also has that component where they want you to admit that you're powerless.
00:54:58
Speaker
And as a woman who grew up in an abusive home, I've already admitted that. I admitted it when I was very, very small. so So it's not appropriate framing for a lot of people to say, oh, I'm powerless. I need to put myself in someone else's hands. Well, no. Yeah, that's that's sure that's true.
00:55:20
Speaker
That's, that's true. and You do need to take back control. And um I have had kind of a, a couple of controversies with, you know, who I sponsor because there are people that will not sponsor guys that ah say like to smoke a little bit of weed.
00:55:39
Speaker
Right. Yeah. I'm aware that's a contentious issue about whether you can be sober and still smoke weed. But you know, they're like, ah it's marijuana. I'm i'm like, you know what? I'm like, this person wants to stop drinking.
00:55:52
Speaker
They want my help. I'm not here to get all preachy and self-righteous. ah by i I might advise against an alcoholic, ah a severe alcoholic anyway, smoking pot because it might lower their inhibitions to, and they might relapse and drink. But on the other hand, there's people there's there's people that can do that and they're fine. and you know And you need to acknowledge that.
00:56:17
Speaker
you know I've even... heard that, you know, because I take antidepressants. I even heard that somebody said I'm not sober because I take antidepressants. That's really kind of extreme, you know. Yeah, it's pretty gatekeeping.
00:56:31
Speaker
But whenever you get into telling other people what's best for them, you're probably not in a good place. I mean, when does that ever work? Yeah, I know. I was going to have a ah t-shirt made up. I decided against it. so But I was going to walk into meetings that had a shirt that said, no unsolicited advice.
00:56:50
Speaker
um Well, because unsolicited advice is a criticism, always, 100% of the time. Yeah, that constructive criticism always forgets the first word, constructive.
00:57:03
Speaker
Yeah, I... i But it it's also often based on presumption. You know, it's like when a doctor tells me, oh, have you considered losing weight?
00:57:14
Speaker
No, I'm 54 years old. I've been fat my whole life. And this is the first time anyone has ever asked me, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:57:23
Speaker
That's funny. ah Well, yeah, and you know I've also heard people, and a lot of people at AA smoke, people are like, you know, the smoking can cause cancer. I'm sure that's the first time ah you know a 70-year-old man has heard that. What?
00:57:38
Speaker
Oh, is that what they were trying to say on the package, where it's a smoking can cause cancer? Well, I mean, you want you want to talk about addictions, man. Coffee. The coffee situation is out of control at meetings.
00:57:52
Speaker
Coffee and nicotine, absolutely. People be needing their speed.
00:57:58
Speaker
I'll tell you this, though. I
00:58:01
Speaker
i freak i can't remember the guy's name, but he he had sort of like an all-inclusive addiction show. wish I could remember his name. The only thing i remember is the joke, and it was one of the best jokes regarding recovery from alcoholism I ever heard. I'll just share share the joke with you and see if you think it's funny.
00:58:18
Speaker
Please. It's real simple, so
00:58:22
Speaker
An alcoholic walks into a bar. He sits there next to this ah really beautiful woman. He looks right into her eyes and he says, so do I come here often?
00:58:36
Speaker
but
00:58:41
Speaker
That's an extremely poor taste. I won't have it. ah
00:58:48
Speaker
What's funny though is like the the people who really don't know that much about alcoholism don't don't understand the joke. If you do understand the joke, I think it's hilarious. Right.
00:59:00
Speaker
So here's what I want to know. Has your addiction and subsequent recovery found its way into your fiction? It certainly has.
00:59:12
Speaker
It certainly has. i wrote four 10-minute murder mystery plays and... All of them have, to a certain degree, something to do with ah addiction, alcoholism, basically.
00:59:25
Speaker
um You know, there's a ah suspicious man on house arrest in the first play, and ah the second play is literally about a rehab. um And then the third play is about a ah ah ah criminal judge, and she usually deals with ah drunk drivers, but she's put into an insane asylum,
00:59:47
Speaker
And in the last play, um the detective character that's in all the plays has to sort of face a ah long family history of addiction. So but they're they're basically, you know, all all about alcoholism from to one degree to another, I think, you know.
Creative Projects and Audio Dramas
01:00:08
Speaker
Without dropping any spoilers, is there ah a theme? I mean, is there a central message that you want to convey with those?
01:00:19
Speaker
There is, but i obviously, I kind of want people to come to their own conclusions. Okay. All right. Like I said, you are actually welcome to play ah Laundry Room and Ward. Those are two of the plays.
01:00:37
Speaker
And I think that the audio versions of them are and very good. i think the people did a ah really good job. And I think I think I, mentioned to you this before that um ah as far as the the ward play goes first of all you talk about i told you like earlier that i have a problem with being too on the nose you know uh the the priest character and word is called father malone and so you know that's that's on the nose and it you know from the fog obviously and ah
01:01:14
Speaker
It gets even more on the the nose, crazy on the nose, you know, because I'm a big fan like you are of cult movies. And I would imagine you've seen more than one midnight movie. he um Well, yes. yeah its
01:01:29
Speaker
So, you know, my my friend, the the cult movie actor there, right? I told you about a long time ago now, ah George Stover. who played the ah the priest who reads Divine, Her Final Rates and Female Trouble.
01:01:43
Speaker
So when i saw when I saw that, the part for you know Father Malone, i was just like, George, like I am begging you, you have got to play the priest in this. i'm like they would Plus i I grew up like watching like all of George's b movies. you know He wasn't just in John Waters' movies. he was and Are you familiar with Don Doller's movies or no?
01:02:05
Speaker
I don't, not not offhand. They were, he passed away sadly of of brain cancer. Uh, but he made these low and I mean low budget horror movies, but they were still spectacularly entertaining in my, this is just my opinion, of course.
01:02:28
Speaker
Um, and they were all made in Maryland because he didn't want to move to Hollywood. And, he he wasn't he also used to make this thing called cinemagic magazine that used to help us you know make our little super eight movies and stuff with special effects tips and costume tips and set tips when you had absolutely no money to to spend on any of these things and what happened to uh don doler was he used to work at a bank before he made these low-budget movies and there was a gun to his head from a bank robber for the longest time and he thought he was going to die
01:03:01
Speaker
And he said to himself, if I don't die today, I'm going to make that movie. I don't care how I do it. I'll borrow from every aunt and uncle in my family. And he's like, I'm going to make that movie. I'm going to make that movie.
01:03:16
Speaker
So this is like in the 70s. So ah he made The Alien Factor, which was a very low budget a space alien B movie. And wasn't really going to get that much attention. But what happened was...
01:03:32
Speaker
Star Wars happened.
01:03:36
Speaker
And then all of a sudden, anything with space and aliens they wanted for all these TV stations. So that is so cool. George acted in all of his movies, all of his movies, ah all the early ah John Waters movies and every movie Don Dohler made, I think, up into his staff.
01:03:58
Speaker
So he's like a ah sort of like a Maryland icon. And I have to tell you, George is a super sweet, nice guy. I really like him a lot. And it was just absolutely awesome for me to be able to work with him on, you know, I don't make movies, but like to have him, you know, even do a voice, you know, for like an audio drama version of one of my plays was a pretty amazing experience for me.
01:04:24
Speaker
Cool. That is so cool. I definitely want to talk about audio dramas because I used to make audio dramas in college. And I don't know. yeah Are you familiar with ah Scott Sigler, the sci-fi horror writer?
01:04:39
Speaker
Infected, ah contagion. He's done some alien tie-in work. Anyway, I went to undergrad with him. and Only vaguely, i'm only vague it's ringing a bell, but my it's not the memory's not... I think yeah you know what I mean. You can't know everybody. but ah yeah we probably I'll remember him after we're done talking, I'll remember Right.
01:05:03
Speaker
But yeah, we did a radio drama together that ended up being an 8-part series. And it was written by a guy named Jason Morningstar, who actually is a game designer now. um But it's it's called Deadland and it's actually pretty amusing. We did a few radio dramas when I was in undergrad and one was called ah Feminism, Good Humor Men and You.
01:05:25
Speaker
And it was about feminists that take over this like sexist ice cream truck business. And because the ice cream truck drivers are like really sexist and sell like, you know ice cream pops that look like boobs and stuff. And it's...
01:05:42
Speaker
was When I was in my 20s, I thought it was hilarious. was anybody Was anybody smoking any weed when they came up with the ice cream chakra event? You know what? No. I wrote it with some of my straight edge friends, if you can believe that. I had some some very straight edge friends and in college. Well, went to a churchy college.
01:06:01
Speaker
So there were some people there that were not of the booze and weed varieta. Yeah.
01:06:10
Speaker
Well, that's cool, though. Like, um did you ever do, like, any short stories that you wrote? like I didn't write any because I did not have confidence in my ability to write until I was, good lord, almost 30. Yeah.
01:06:24
Speaker
um I didn't try to write for real, for publication, for anything.
Living with Neurodivergence
01:06:29
Speaker
ah you know i just i didn't have any confidence because it was, well, it was taken from me. a Freak parenting accident.
01:06:37
Speaker
So so you know I didn't really try to to do, like I wanted to do creative things, but there was so much going on with me. I had ADD and I was autistic and I didn't know. I had apnea and it wasn't treated.
01:06:50
Speaker
So I didn't actually get a good night's sleep until I started drinking in college. Oh, boy. You know, a lot of really crazy stuff like that that kept me from achieving things.
01:07:01
Speaker
You know, like I didn't I was that person where everybody says, oh, you're so smart. You must be. Why are you so lazy? Why aren't you getting things done? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't think my brain works right. But, you know, nobody knew because girls in the 70s didn't get diagnosed with things for the most part.
01:07:18
Speaker
don't know how to find it in boys, but not girls. We were just supposed to sit still and be quiet and do our work. And none of those things were really in my wheelhouse. um I didn't really hear that much about autism until like the last 20 years, though, to be honest.
01:07:34
Speaker
Like, you know, there's a movie Rain Man, but. Well, they were calling it Asperger's for a time, and it turned out that that guy was some kind of Nazi-esque lunatic, so that became problematic. But yeah, it's one of those things that the more understood it is, the more people feel safe admitting that they have it or they have symptoms of it.
01:07:57
Speaker
You know, it's like being left-handed. People say, oh, nobody's left-handed. That's ridiculous. Yeah. It's because all the left-handed people were hiding because they were being called witches and having their hands tied behind their back and stuff.
01:08:08
Speaker
and So the more we know about things, the more comfortable I think people are coming out and getting treatment. Cause you hear that a lot. You think, Oh, why is everything a syndrome now? Why is everything a disease? And it's so your insurance will cover it because if you go to an insurer with a list of symptoms, they won't care.
01:08:25
Speaker
But if you say, look, it's the DSM, look, look at this illness. This is what they have. Then they have to do something about it. So it's kind of a whole thing. Now I'm aware actually that you live with Tourette's syndrome.
01:08:38
Speaker
um And I don't know a whole lot about that. Is that a type of OCD? Yeah. Well, it's um
01:08:47
Speaker
it's it's like a set of ah ticks. um like what and It's a neurological thing. you know I see a neurologist and I take um antidepressants for it. what What a lot of people think it is, is, um you know, like if you ever saw that episode of South Park where Cartman is just cursing at people because he thinks he can because he has Tourette's.
01:09:10
Speaker
You know, people think that, you know, it's just like you just start like spouting obscenities or something like that. um But it's a little bit more complicated than that. um You know, it's it's it's it's fine. ah You know, I find myself, I guess for lack of a better term, it would be sort of what would be the equivalent of of talking to yourself, I guess.
01:09:41
Speaker
Um, so, you know, like my, my son is always, he's like, dad, he's like, stop talking to yourself. no but And I'm like, well, I'm like, if you didn't sneak up behind me, you wouldn't have heard me talking to myself.
01:09:58
Speaker
Um, but ah but it it's, it's, uh, You know, it's it's something that I live with. And i I probably have a relatively moderate to mild case of it.
01:10:09
Speaker
ah You know, I do have like the the nervous tics and all that. But I'll tell you what, it's almost like having Lyme disease. It's something that, I'm not going to say all, but it's something that a lot of people don't believe that people actually have in my, again, in my life experience so far.
01:10:30
Speaker
They're that's made up. I know it's not. It's it's a real thing. that's actually something that we talk about a lot on the show is that people who speak openly and honestly about their own life experience are not believed.
01:10:42
Speaker
And I don't understand where any adult gets off telling somebody else that they're wrong about their own life experience. That's just way out there to me.
Magic and Performance Art
01:10:51
Speaker
Now, I have not seen this with my own eyes, but I am told that you are a magician, which gives me, uh, big smiles because well I used to work for a magician. I worked for a magician when I got my first job out of undergrad.
01:11:06
Speaker
I worked at a theater in Pontiac and we had a magician come and I did follow spot for him and one of his texts told me how David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. So I felt like the smartest person in the world for like six months.
01:11:22
Speaker
but Tell me about your foray into performative magic. Well, I... You know, I probably put myself, I guess, in semi-professional or talented amateur. I know a lot, but there's a lot more that I don't know.
01:11:42
Speaker
i it's it's just It's kind of like an obsessive hobby now, which is kind of weird because I just got a new magic trick delivered to my door today, and I just handed out a a business card to do magic today.
01:11:53
Speaker
yes But what I tend to do it most for, ah we have a ah carnival here in my small little town of Dublin, Pennsylvania, outside of Philadelphia.
01:12:07
Speaker
We have a little um carnival and it raises money for the firefighters here. And I'm typically the ah the magician for this event.
01:12:21
Speaker
ah Sometimes my son helps me. Sometimes he's too busy with his theater work. But it's ah it's an awful lot of fun, and I teach magic to people, um the stuff that I do know how to do.
01:12:34
Speaker
I do primarily mentalism now. what what i What I used to do was when I did birthday parties and bar mitzvahs was I went to a place. Are you familiar with Tannen's Magic in New York?
01:12:47
Speaker
I've heard of it. In Manhattan? Yeah, it was just such a trip together. like you would They had the top 10 magic tricks that magicians were buying, and it was New York, and it was competitive. and you know The tricks were usually pretty good.
01:13:03
Speaker
I mean, not making the Statue of Liberty disappear good, but definitely good enough for somebody's bar mitzvah birthday party, I would say, um or even a corporate event.
01:13:15
Speaker
But ah they would show the tricks, and then I would always get excited and I'd be like, wow, and you know what's the dumbest thing you can say after that? How'd you do that, right? um i was I was like, how'd you do that? I i always loved like the New York magicians, like their attitude and their response. It's like, you want to know, buy the trick.
01:13:36
Speaker
Right. Always crack me up. ah Yeah, I always have a lot of fun doing that. like i The mentalism stuff is something that i i I like quite a bit. And i think we we've touched on Facebook. We touched on how I think we both love the movie Magic. Right. Am I correct? feel like yeah too That's why I got shutter that's the whole reason I subscribed to Shudder and then said, wow, they they know what they're doing because I just wanted to watch
Magic in Films and Personal Encounters
01:14:05
Speaker
Magic.
01:14:05
Speaker
Even that trailer was scary to me as a kid. Oh my goodness. Wasn't it? And then him rolling his eyes after he says we're dead. Yeah. It's such a nice performance from ah Anthony Hopkins too.
01:14:20
Speaker
You know, he did a good, he did a good job of just making quirky. So like shy and introverted so that fats could just be so horribly obnoxious and yeah you know, his, his alter ego and,
01:14:35
Speaker
whole that part where he says makes make where his manager says make fat shut up for five minutes is that what he says or 10 minutes or whatever it is holy mo i mean who who knew that could be that suspenseful just not making a puppet talk for a few minutes and uh it actually has the my favorite opening scene of any movie ever i i love jerry goldsmith's music he's my favorite composer of all time and That dirty little apartment that had that guy and his wife, you know, the two magicians there and had their whole life in that little apartment with all those magic tricks in the opening credits.
01:15:11
Speaker
yeah ah The guy called himself Merlin. Their whole life was like summed up in the the opening. You know what I mean? All the stuff in the background. also like the movie The Prestige quite a bit.
01:15:23
Speaker
oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I did not see that. Well, it's weird because those two magic movies came out right around the same time because it was the prestige. The Illusionist, which people...
01:15:34
Speaker
which which i liked but um people People like say, why do you like that prestige movie? It's so depressing. don't you like The Illusionist? I'm like, I like them both, but The Prestige is the better film, in my opinion.
01:15:46
Speaker
Well, The Illusionist, I mean, there's no doubt how it's going to end. You know you know what's going to happen. You know the romance is going to work out. I couldn't guess the prestigious ending. No, not at all.
01:16:01
Speaker
Not at all. And you know, if you put Nikola Tesla in your movie in any capacity, it's a better movie. That's just how movies work. I didn't i don't make the rules. If you put David Bowie as Nikola Tesla in a movie, it's going to be a great movie.
01:16:15
Speaker
It's true. He's a very underrated actor. He could play anything. An alien, Pontius Pilate, a vampire. was just going say Pontius Pilate. he was He was a superb Pontius Pilate, actually.
01:16:27
Speaker
But I did like him in that. Well, yeah, The Hunger, I mean...
01:16:32
Speaker
Oh my God. You talk about, that's another one. on It's one of those ones. That's another one I, oh, I saw that one. ah That's another one I saw too young when he's like turning into an old man and kills that girl. Oh my gosh.
01:16:46
Speaker
Oh, it's, uh, it's pretty, it's pretty, pretty horrendous stuff. Anyway, to, to sum up here, yes, I still do magic. I do it for the carnival.
01:16:59
Speaker
I usually watch, uh, you know, a couple of Ray Bradbury episodes, you know, dealing with carnivals. And then I, then I, then I go to, then I go to perform. It's, it's, it's a lot of fun. i used to do a little bit of the ventriloquism, um,
01:17:16
Speaker
It's very different with ventriloquism. The audience is on your side right away. Yep. Yep. Whereas doing magic, it's not that they're your enemy per se, but they're fighting you that they, they, you know, fool me, fool me, entertain me, you know, like they're trying to, because they do want to work out how you do it.
01:17:33
Speaker
and that Exactly. i figured that out when I did the follow spots because if you put the light in the wrong place, people will be looking at the wrong thing and it just ruins everything. it's like, I don't know if I can take this kind of pressure. Let me just sober. Well, you you know, it's – yeah. Well, I don't want to know how David Copperfield made the statue of the – I want to be – I do magic and I want to be fooled.
01:17:57
Speaker
I love to be fooled. Exactly. yeah It's more fun to be cool. As a writer or somebody who makes films, whatever, it's all about the willing suspension of disbelief. If you're not there to be entertained and have fun and do the thing and be into it, what are we here for?
01:18:15
Speaker
that's the That's the redeeming quality of Jaws 2 with that helicopter and the electric wire at the end. Without suspension of disbelief, that would have been dead in the water. so i did feel like the need...
01:18:27
Speaker
Exactly. I did feel the need to talk about one more thing about Jaws since we both like bad shark movies and good
Humor and Blurbs in Writing
01:18:35
Speaker
shark movies too. But, ah and this is probably going to make you laugh. I'm not going to say this person's name because he's a friend of mine from AA, but ah he was, before he and his wife retired to ah this area here, Northeast here,
01:18:52
Speaker
um he lived in Beverly Hills and he was a sound guy for all kinds of different movies like the Executioner song with Tommy Lee. Wow. Hold on. Tommy Lee Jones and um also the sister Akilipi Goldberg and a bunch of TV shows. Anyway, he admitted to me that he was the sound guy for Jaws of the Revenge.
01:19:17
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry. And then I said, you have to write me a blurb. He's like, what? And he goes, why? i said, well, Jaws is my favorite movie.
01:19:32
Speaker
He goes, I said Jaws the Revenge. I'm like, yeah, I know. I heard you. He goes, me and my friends tried to get a lawyer to get our names taken off the credits.
01:19:43
Speaker
I'm like, i said i I said, I need my connection to Jaws somehow. Wait, your friend's not name isn't Alan Smithy? What? No, exactly.
01:19:54
Speaker
And ah he goes, I've worked on good movies too. I said, well, I'll write out some blurb. I said, I'll write out some blurbs, you know, and um you know, for her, that'll mention like the executioner song and your, you know, your, your, your good movies too. And it was just, it was just really funny. And he just said, um you know, that,
01:20:19
Speaker
he he I think he's the one that if you ever watch some of these documentaries about Jaws revenge, he's the one where they talk about the sound guy who refused to make the growling shark noise. but they they they ah They originally, I think, sent him out to like a zoo.
01:20:37
Speaker
And he's like, oh, there's going to be a zoo scene in this Jaws movie? Like, no, no, no, the sharks going to growl. He's like, sharks don't growl. They don't have vocal cords. Like, hey, you're just the sound guy. Well, exactly, and I'm here to tell you that they don't do that. I mean, that damn shark already looked like a Muppet. I think making it roar was really over the top.
01:20:59
Speaker
yeah ah And it's funny because it's a bad movie that's not really that bad. The acting in that movie isn't really that bad. Well, if you want to pretend that The Last Starfighter cannot act, we're going to have to tangle. I mean...
01:21:13
Speaker
but Lance is a gem and I will not hear otherwise. Yeah, he was, he was, no, he was good in the movie. I thought he was good. um I think, you know, ah according to my sound guy friend, Michael Caine was somewhat drunk and not taking the movie seriously.
01:21:31
Speaker
ah
01:21:34
Speaker
Even though. I think there's a rule that in every Jaws movie, there has to be somebody that's drunk and not taking it seriously. Well, Michael Caine's the ultimate Jaws hero to get back up on that boat after fighting with the shark and have his shirt still dry. That's the greatest Jaws hero. Nobody managed to do that.
01:21:52
Speaker
Agreed. So, yeah, my my son and I watch that every Christmas. It's ridiculous. Well, no, you're supposed to watch Santa Jaws at Christmas time. Oh, I think we discussed that before as well. yeah because Yeah, I watched that. We watched Santa Jaws too, but like Jaws the Revenge is a touching uh touching christmas movie i like the original ending where they just stabbed the shark with the front of the boat i thought that was actually better than it yep exploding for no reasons uh well even in action movies things explode in anticipation of being hit by something but when it's a full-on shark that really does seem a little much
01:22:36
Speaker
Yeah, and even even like in a ah great movie like Alien, like you can't hear somebody's voice in outer space. There's no sound in space. Well, yeah, that's the whole point of the Alien poster.
01:22:48
Speaker
I know, but like there really is no sound in space. No one can hear you do anything. No one can hear you burp either. mean, it's just, no one can hear anything, but you know, like when you hear Veronica Cartwright's voice on the ship and it does, it's almost like, oh you can hear this from space, but you, you can't hear that from that suspension of disbelief again.
01:23:07
Speaker
And I don't, I don't think there would be the, the flaming fire like that. But, um, so I was very proud of having that connection to draws, even though it was Jaws the Revenge.
01:23:20
Speaker
And, you know, I am a huge fan of the Halloween movies, like we're discussing, especially Halloween 3, but I love the first movie. I love the fourth movie, too. Yeah. and And when my friend Nicholas k Grabowski wrote me a blurb, but you know, the first thing, he did the novelization for Halloween 4, and that was, of course, the first credit of his that I they used when the And I said to my son, wow, I'm like, look, I'm like, I have like a connection here with my blurbs to Halloween and
Tales from the Crypt and Storytelling
01:23:50
Speaker
Jaws. And he's like, yeah, Jaws 4 and Halloween 4.
01:23:54
Speaker
All right, hater. Exactly. No, actually, actually ah my friend that worked on Jaws Revenge also did the sound for ah Salem's Lot.
01:24:06
Speaker
Nice. The old one. Nice. then... that That one impressed myself. He's like, all right, that that one. He's like, that that one's impressed. But but you know don't take his taste seriously. He likes the movie The Amazing Bulk. So, you know, he doesn't.
01:24:20
Speaker
who and And I'm friends with that director. He's awesome. ah Aliens versus avatars. Lewis is a great guy. And and he used to do the editing for HBO's Tales from the Crypt, too. Oh, man. I love so much of that show.
01:24:37
Speaker
so much did you oh yeah did you read the comics did you read did you read the comic comic book i don't own the the box set like most good horror fans do so i really have only read the ones that i was able to get my mitts on um but but i love the comics and i watch the show voraciously even still i think the one uh with Anthony Michael Hall and the Egyptology teacher and the mummy. Oh, geez. Yeah, that's great.
01:25:04
Speaker
ah The one where Adam Antis did talk to the librarian. Because the cast of those are just insane. Because first, they bring in a lot of actors who who want to be directors to direct episodes. I think Schwarzenegger directed one. Tom Hanks did. like you know Just such a great ensemble. The one that Arnold directed, was that was disturbing me that one.
01:25:27
Speaker
Is that the one had OJ in it? when it Where OJ was like the groundskeeper or something? No, it was the one where the body parts kept going from the old man to the young man. from the young man to the old man, I'm sorry. Right, of course.
01:25:40
Speaker
And kelly Kelly Preston was... ah And at the end, it turned out she just wanted the money, not the body. She just wanted the money. Yeah, it was it was silly and it was simple, but somehow it like really got under my skin, no pun intended. It just really like...
01:25:57
Speaker
It disturbed me. I don't know why that one disturbed me so much. ah But like, yeah, that one, I also, the one with the Crypt Keepers origin story,
01:26:08
Speaker
um you know, it first of all, it reminded me a little bit of, you know, ah the Hunchback of Notre Dame um and stuff like that with Quasimodo.
01:26:19
Speaker
i i can't, I can't stand to see, you know, whether it's Quasimodo or the Elephant Man. I can't, stand to see somebody being like people being cruel to somebody like that. It really upsets me.
01:26:34
Speaker
You know, well, that that kind of like unnecessary cruelty that's just heaped on people and you can see it. You can like the, the anger there, that underlying like fear, anger of like crowd violence. It's so disturbing.
01:26:49
Speaker
It is.
Poetry and Literary Achievements
01:26:50
Speaker
And, and you know what, just when I thought that episode couldn't get any creepier, you know, the, the the hunchback guy sleeps with the the dead mummy woman and then they have the cryptkeeper and the baby at the end. Isn't that always the way? i made ah I made a little joke one time on Facebook. I said, I'm watching the episode of Tales from the Crypt. I said, the one where the cryptkeeper makes a pun.
01:27:12
Speaker
yeah
01:27:16
Speaker
Yes, of course. There were some but there's some bad puns on that show. Yeah, I have the collector card set and a lot of them have just the little puns on them. Yeah, I i i like Tales from the Crypt quite a bit. I like Tales from the Dark Side quite a bit too, especially the episodes that written by Michael McDowell were always the best. They were really good.
01:27:37
Speaker
Well, he did The Box, right? I think so. Because The Box is one of the episodes that I remembered just forever. It's just a story that stuck with me.
01:27:48
Speaker
And then when I met my husband, we were talking like we hadn't even been together that long. And he was like, Hey, do you remember this one story, the box? And yeah, that was, that's one of those like, okay, this guy is meant to be my guy.
01:28:03
Speaker
Um, Oh, actually, you know what? Tell us about venomous words.
01:28:11
Speaker
Oh, well, this is kind of an interesting story. Uh, my friend Jeffrey Oliver is a wonderful poet. And this was years ago now.
01:28:22
Speaker
can't remember which year it was now, but several years ago at least, ah he was trying to get together people to write poetry while his friend took pictures of these artistic close-up pictures of insects.
01:28:42
Speaker
And he wanted sort of the venomous words, the the dark kind of, you know, I don't know if I want to use the word malicious, but I'm running out of words for it. Sort of biting poetry to go with the images of the insects.
01:28:59
Speaker
And, uh, he asked me to write a poem and this was, you know, before he met, you know, some real poets.
01:29:09
Speaker
You don't consider yourself a poet? he really liked my poem a lot. Uh, and I, But and I think I've written one or two that I think are pretty good. But in general, I'd say no.
01:29:27
Speaker
Of course, know, some of that some of that comes from ah an English teacher I had who I became friends with. And he thought I had great talent with novels and short stories. But he said my poetry was, shall we say, subpar at best.
01:29:43
Speaker
See, i I take issue with a teacher telling any student that. i mean, obviously, if you have a personal friendship with somebody, that's none of my business. But um teachers should always encourage you no matter what.
01:30:00
Speaker
and i i I understand where you're going, but keep I should add this just to keep you in mind the nature of his personality. He wrote five novels and then threw them all the trash because he ah you know of his own that he considered not good enough. So he just, that was his personality. You know what I mean? Obviously, I didn't take it to heart. I still wrote a poem and Jeff still put it in his book.
01:30:25
Speaker
so But it was interesting, though, was that it made the final ballot for like the Bram Stoker Awards. Not the nomination, but the final ballot before it would become the nomination.
01:30:38
Speaker
but my My kid told me, he said, Dad, he goes, put that on your Facebook bio, though it's still good enough for a Facebook bio. Totally. Yeah, it's probably probably the closest I'll ever get to a Stoker, except for the introduction to one of my short stories, The Great and Terrible, was written by Chris McCauley, who's an Irish writer and one of the co-creators of the Stokerverse. So I guess in that sense, I got close to ah Stoker. he he He liked it because, you know, he does all the stuff with Dracula.
01:31:11
Speaker
And my short story, The Great and Terrible, is about Dracula fighting the Wizard of Oz. You know, I had a kind dystopian Oz so that it wasn't, you know, so that the two worlds could kind of go together. it' More for Rosa Bulk than Judy Garland.
01:31:28
Speaker
um Yes. so No, actually, Dorothy's not in it. It takes place after Dorothy's gone to get back to Kansas. And when um
01:31:39
Speaker
the ah the Wizard of Oz comes back and cota has his Reign of Terror. Wow. A ticker or a Reign of Terror? You don't say.
01:31:52
Speaker
it's It's free on ah you know on Amazon if you want to check it out. Cool. cool i one one of the stories yeah Do you have a link tree? Because we can just send everybody to your link tree.
01:32:05
Speaker
I don't, I, you know, felt I said I was tech challenged. I, ah what is a link tree? Link tree is indispensable, man. Cause you know how some of the social media is only let you use one link, you know, in your bio, you probably get a buyer and share with nowhere else. If your link is your link tree, you can click on that and it will take you to a page where you can put up all your links and label what they are. So you can have one for each book series.
01:32:29
Speaker
all your different socials, any project that you want to draw specific attention to. And then when you post about things, you can just say link in Linktree. And so people know to go look for it in your bio without because, you know, social media, they strangle links. You can't put links on things and they because they won't show them to anybody.
01:32:47
Speaker
So it's great in that way to let you showcase individual projects and link to specific Amazon books instead of just being like, well, there's my collection. So that sounds like something I should look into. I agree. I think it's something you should look into. um Yeah, I'll have to do that.
01:33:06
Speaker
Yeah, so you you can Let's presume you'll have one by the time the episode goes live next week and we'll put your links in the link tree and that's where you can find them because it it's serious. Okay. Take you like 10 minutes. It's really easy.
01:33:18
Speaker
Just a bunch of okay cut pasting. um Now, I know that you have also done a lot of interviews and a lot of them are with people that I super admire. You interviewed Matheson, ah you Elizabeth Massey, ah Patricia Cornwell.
01:33:33
Speaker
Do you have a favorite interview out of the ones that you've done? Actually, actually it was my ah my editor, ah John, who interviewed Richard. i've never interviewed richard matheson but i did interview elizabeth massey and you know William m F. Nolan and Jonathan Mayberry, the late Ray Garten. I interviewed him.
01:33:59
Speaker
um So, yeah, i I'm very happy with the people that I've interviewed. Ecstatic, in fact. And like ah like I said, I agree with you ah about Elizabeth Massey. She's just absolutely a great writer and really down-to-earth awesome person, too. I love her work. And then I added her on Facebook, and it turns out that she's awesome, like, as a person.
01:34:22
Speaker
And that's risky. I don't always add writers I like on Facebook because I don't like finding out that people whose work I enjoy are a-holes. If I could go back in time and know less about Brad Easton Ellis, I super, super would.
01:34:37
Speaker
Well, you know what? I'm actually pretty good at separating the the person from ah from the the artwork, which I think you you kind of have to do.
01:34:48
Speaker
But i and I understand, though, you don't want like a personal friend on Facebook that turns out to be ah not not so nice. i I remember going to some of the the readings here that were...
01:35:06
Speaker
close and the Doylestown bookshop, which is near my, my house. It's like a, an indie bookshop, very big and and popular that they're very welcoming to, uh, I guess local authors. i i hate that phrase, but you know what I mean?
01:35:22
Speaker
They had a big draw before Jonathan Mayberry moved to California. Right. They had a big draw they they had a big draw with him and everything.
01:35:32
Speaker
And i used I used to go to some of the sightings. He was always a super nice guy and everything. Yeah. yeah And ah what one one ah one day I just worked up my my guts and I asked him to read my novel and see if he'd write a blurb for it. He did.
01:35:47
Speaker
That's awesome. And he was he was super nice about it, too. Yeah, i interviewed John Mayberry when I first started interviewing people for Zombies Zone News, so like 15 years ago or something.
Analyzing Films and Favorite Movies
01:35:58
Speaker
And I only had the vaguest sense that he wrote YA zombie novels. And I was like, how is there even a YA zombie novel? And I read it and was like, holy shit, this is really scary. He's a very... um into the original, you know, Night Living Dead, the first Romero movie, the zombie movie, yeah which which which which is a great movie. i think I think one of the introductions to one of his books, he talks about how he, like,
01:36:25
Speaker
He couldn't just see of the Living Dead once. He had to go back and see it again, just like when you saw Alien. and He had to go right back and see it again. which is like yeah they aren't well There are a couple of great movies, though. I can understand why somebody might want to get in line to see it again. well Do you do that when watch movies? Because like a lot of times when I watch a movie, if it's super impactful, I will want to watch it again immediately.
01:36:46
Speaker
just to like It's like a how did they do that watch. you know So instead of watching the movie, I'm trying to see like how they used music, how they used lighting, like what exactly they did to manipulate me into being so friggin' terrified.
01:37:02
Speaker
So that's usually what that second watch is about, I think. I mean, for me, it is. That'd be my guess.
01:37:10
Speaker
Yeah, it it it it it you know it it depends on the the the movie. ah And some movies I'll come back to, but like I put put this weird schedule on it. what like I'll just watch like a half an hour a day of it or something like that.
01:37:25
Speaker
but movie have you watched the most of, like seen over and over the The movie I've watched the most times? um Yes. Wow. that's That's an interesting question. Because like I certainly couldn't tell you with with certainty what movie that would be.
01:37:42
Speaker
um i think at best I could probably tell you like 10 movies that I could pretty much recite based on how much I've seen them. You know, Psycho, Creepshow, Night of the Living Dead, Psycho.
01:37:55
Speaker
Cecil B. DeMille's first remake of Ten Commandments, the 54 version. that That's my favorite non-horror movie is Cecil B. DeMille's Ten Commandments. I was always a big fan of Charlton Heston very much.
01:38:09
Speaker
I love Bible stories. I love Bible stories and even though I'm not a practicing Christian, I'm actually, I give money to the Satanic Temple. um But my husband's a great fan. So...
01:38:22
Speaker
um Well, Satanic Temple does great work. And for the longest time, a lot of their focus was when someone tried to do something religious in a secular context, Satanic Temple would say, great, we're going to do that, too, because you like all religions, right?
01:38:37
Speaker
And that worked pretty well. when people didn't want to admit that they were Christian supremacists, but people are a lot more out loud and proud with that now. So, you know, it's it's not as effective to just show up and be like, hi, we're the Satanists. We just want to be religious with you guys because their people are much more open about saying, well, no, we're we're all about Jesus. and And if you're not, you need to get the hell out of here.
01:39:07
Speaker
Like, yeah, I don't think that's what Jesus would say, but okay. um well The Yul Brynner was great in that movie, though. Totally.
01:39:19
Speaker
Well, and Vincent Price popping by to just be a jerk and then die. That's always fun. Yeah, that that um that's why he wasn't cast as Brody in Jaws. Like, that was one of the names that got cast around was ah Charlton Heston.
01:39:37
Speaker
And Steven Spielberg said, we don't want the shark afraid of Chief Brody. Also why Chuck Norris wasn't cast. um okay I heard Chuck Norris actually doesn't like he's, you know, he's not like that arrogant guy who thinks he's a tough guy He's not like Steven Sokola who thinks he really is a tough guy, you know. Well, I mean, I would but say that like Chuck Norris is definitely an arrogant person, but that's not the thing that he's arrogant about because I think Chuck Norris is also a Christian supremacist.
01:40:09
Speaker
Don't don't kick my ass, truck Chuck Norris. Jesus wouldn't want you to. ah Well, I don't i don't know how how tough of a guy he is or if he was really a black belt, but I i do i do like some of the stupid jokes, though, that are about him.
01:40:26
Speaker
Yes. Like death death once had a near Chuck Norris experience. Even on Family Guy, they do that. yeah even even like on even on family guy they you know think they do that Well, let me let me ask you this, if we can get back to your work, actually. if If somebody is completely unfamiliar with you and what you do, where is the best place for them to start?
01:40:52
Speaker
Well, I think two of the short stories, The Great and Terrible, the one about the Wizard of Oz meeting Dracula, and the picture of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which is about ah the artist that painted Dorian Gray,
01:41:08
Speaker
of paints a picture of Dr. Jekyll. So it's sort of like a ah a prequel to the Oscar Wilde story. i think I think those two, they're free and you'll get like a real sense and a real feeling for you know, how to feel about my work. If you like it or don't like it or love it or hate it or whatever.
Sci-Fi Inspirations and Adaptations
01:41:33
Speaker
Great. Well, we're also going to have an audio sample in the, at at the end, we'll have a, the story that you sent. So you have that to look. Oh, okay. listen So you've also got a sci-fi collection in the work, right?
01:41:46
Speaker
Right. Am I getting ahead of myself? Tell us everything. no that' that's funny. Cause like i'm I'm falling behind on that. I'm not, not,
01:41:57
Speaker
quite up to to schedule. of But I, you know, I've reread a bunch of ah the older ah sort of dystopian books, obviously, you know, I love Nolan's, I love Logan's run that right, him and Johnson wrote, and then, um you know, the alt woods, the handmaidens tale in fahrenheit four fifty one and 451. And, know, I just been going on Animal Farm, just reading all this dystopian stuff and also watching some of the older sci-fi movies.
01:42:37
Speaker
So basically, and then being painfully aware of ah AI right and the the message of the first two Terminator movies.
01:42:47
Speaker
So i don't I don't know if I'd say it's anti-technology per se, but it's world... it's a world In general, like all the stories are different.
01:42:58
Speaker
It's a world where people are starting to lose their humanity to technology, I guess would be the overall theme of the short story collection. Is that who we're going to lose our humanity to?
01:43:10
Speaker
Technology?
01:43:14
Speaker
I don't know. There's also stuff about us losing it to each other and all kinds of different things. I really like people to draw their own conclusions Wednesday. you know I don't like to hit them over the head with a sledgehammer.
01:43:30
Speaker
I like, i like you know i guess they any editor, I guess, who thinks they're worth their salt would say, show, don't tell, which is interesting because when I reread a lot of these old books, there's an awful lot of info dumps in them.
01:43:43
Speaker
Yeah, there is. And what's really funny is after you read Stephen King's on writing, I'm like counting the adverbs in Salem's Lodge after he like condemns adverbs.
01:43:57
Speaker
Yeah. Adverbs. And dialogue, particularly, is what he adverbs in dialogue. and Which is weird because he used to stick up for J.K. Rowling before she, you know, let her her true colors fly.
01:44:12
Speaker
And she is a nightmare when it comes to... And the thing is, when you listen to a book in an audiobook with somebody really talented doing the voices... it really brings home how extraneous those adverbs are.
01:44:27
Speaker
You know, you don't have to tell us that har that Hermione said something smugly because that's pretty much what Hermione does. Oh, really? Draco said it angrily? I'm so glad you told us that or else we never would have known Draco was an angry kid.
01:44:45
Speaker
Wow. Yeah, i I never thought of that. But yeah, I mean, it's it's it's it's a lot of... She said softly, he said harshly, you know, it's. Well, you probably know as someone who does ah radio drama, like audio drama, that ah when you write something, it's very different when you hear it read out loud. And I find that it drives me crazy to hear my own work read out loud by other people. It just makes me want to make edits like, OK, that wasn't obviously that wasn't clear enough. That's not that's not how I want that read. You know, and it it just makes me... With audio dramas, though, like in the form of like a play, I just look at them almost as if they were on stage. They're just interpreting the character their way.
01:45:31
Speaker
I mean, I have a and have a friend, Lorraine Evanoff, who writes these great spy thrillers. ah She wrote one called Foliage and one called The Devil's Ledger and Walk the Cat is the new one.
01:45:47
Speaker
I don't know if it's a female James Bond per se, but it's, it's, it's similar. And she was an actress and she was also the CFO of national lampoon. So she's a very accomplished person.
01:46:00
Speaker
And like, uh, like I was with George, I was like on cloud nine when she agreed to, to play the villainous judge. And one of my, this is the same one George is in. She plays the judge who's,
01:46:14
Speaker
sort of the the villain of the piece, I suppose. And, you know, she's just such a sweet, nice person. And when I heard her interpretation of the judge character in the asylum, I feel like I was going to crap my pants.
01:46:29
Speaker
I was like, wow. I'm like like, I'm afraid right now. Like, I keep i keep i keep forgetting, you know, I showed my son a clip from... ah a movie she was in with Dennis Hopper and Wesley Snipes called Boiling Point, where she played a drug addict. Okay, know that movie. She's just really fantastic in it.
01:46:50
Speaker
But she played Connie, the drug addict, the one who blew herself up. Oh, okay. All right. so And spent in some French movies, I think, as well. She spent a lot of time in France. But ah um she did me a heck of a favor being in my audio drama there because, holy moly,
01:47:11
Speaker
i did I didn't expect to... I was like, wow, i'm like a real villainous is born here. she she She knocked it out of the park.
01:47:22
Speaker
But course, just hearing George's voice writing a character that I wrote, I i i just i geek out a little too much. you know Right. Because I start thinking about the alien factor and Night Beast and Fiend and you know all these movies. Sure. So...
01:47:39
Speaker
sure so But yeah, the the two short stories ah only take a little bit of your time, take none of your money. And ah think you can pretty much make up your mind what you think of my work by by reading them, I would think. Cool. Cool. All right.
01:47:56
Speaker
Was there anything that you wanted to cover that we did not get to?
01:48:03
Speaker
ah The most important thing is we cover Jaws the Revenge. so Right? Right? There's a bunch of people on a big inflatable banana. like Exactly. of So I wanted to ask, I did want to actually ask you something really quick. So you,
01:48:25
Speaker
ah you know, do you, do you write during the day or do you write at nighttime? I don't do anything during the day if I can help it. um I'm not a getting up when the sun is out kind of person. I do all my best writing at night, um usually on a little bit of caffeine and or weed.
01:48:43
Speaker
And I'm just kidding. It's never or. But yeah, i definitely definitely do my best work at night.
01:48:52
Speaker
and thats and It's a weird thing because night people are often referred to as lazy because they're not day people, but evolutionarily speaking, somebody has to stay up and and watch when everybody else is asleep.
01:49:08
Speaker
You know, that's that's how tribes work. So I'm of course clearly one of those people that stays up all night to watch for marauders. And since there probably aren't any marauders, I get to make them up and write them down.
01:49:21
Speaker
There you go. So I guess the other thing I would ask you was, so we talk about about low budget movies. We make fun of movies that we, we say, uh, you know, we're bad or whatever. And I told you that I used to make movies when I was young that were just for a local cable station. And I think with a potential audience of 2000 homes, but I think it was actually about 20 drunks watching them at 4am. But um My question is, do you like when you think of the Blair Witch Project something like that, like in your honest opinion, do you think you could potentially make a good movie if you had the budget, even like a low budget?
01:50:01
Speaker
could? Better than some of the movies set. um Yes, but ah better than the stuff that you and I seem to have fun making fun of, for example. Well, I mean, I think that I could make a movie that is comparable to, say, Inhuman Witch, which I think is a very funny, well-produced, well-crafted movie made by a lot of people. I have not seen that. A lot about what they're doing. Oh, my God, dude.
01:50:25
Speaker
It's on YouTube. You got to see it. The sets are literally cardboard. Really? Like there is a scene like it's about astronauts, astronauts that go to space and and their sloppy Joe gets um radiated somehow and it starts eating people and it is the inhuman, which.
01:50:43
Speaker
And it is so funny. It's so funny. And like, but there's a scene and it's the space station and it's basically a bunch of poster board taped together with a space station drawn on it. And the actors come in and just do it as straight as they can. And that's, that's kind of what I do. I take a bunch of passionate people and I get them to do something with nothing. Like that's my favorite kind of project.
01:51:08
Speaker
So. Hmm. i think I think yes. I think that if i if I had my way, I could turn a couple of my short stories into low-budget films if I had the money.
01:51:20
Speaker
Honestly, though, I would just like to get Greg Nicotero's attention because I think either of my short story collections would be suitable for a season of the Creepshow show on Shudder.
01:51:35
Speaker
Did everybody get
Mad Libs and Creative Fun
01:51:36
Speaker
that? Nicotero, me, Shudder, let's go, let's do this. and Well, I spent enough time in Niagara Falls, you know, going to their really cool haunted houses and stuff, but also the museum of people that went over it in a barrel that ah It made me really appreciate your short story.
01:52:02
Speaker
ah We, ah we, that was on our list. Niagara Falls was on our list for the honeymoon because as a fan of Superman two, I just wanted some oh boy garish and ridiculous as, as my honeymoon, like, you know, almost ah like I want a satirical honeymoon.
01:52:19
Speaker
But we ended up going to Chicago, you know, Navy Pier, that whole thing. So it was it was good. But it is actually now time for the Mad Libs. So I hope that you are ready for this.
01:52:31
Speaker
Okay. I don't know if I am, but I'll try. Well, you're familiar with how this works, right? I give you some parts of speech. And this one actually has a couple of different places in it.
01:52:42
Speaker
So let's start with a place.
01:52:47
Speaker
A place. How many do you need? yeah ah Looks like I need at least three. Three different places. Three places? okay Salem.
01:53:02
Speaker
London. Barbados. Oh, looks like I need one more.
01:53:11
Speaker
Ah, so Barbados. ah Fiji. Okay.
01:53:19
Speaker
Okay, I need three adjectives.
01:53:24
Speaker
You need three adjectives. So far, they're more later. Okay. Smooth.
01:53:36
Speaker
Generous. Kind. Okay, and a plural, I need actually two plural nouns. Nope, four. Four plural nouns.
01:53:48
Speaker
four plural nouns. Yep. Um, screenplays, sharks, video games, theaters. Okay. And I need a singular noun.
01:54:07
Speaker
Actually, three singular nouns. Sword. three singular nouns
01:54:14
Speaker
sword Cape wand.
01:54:24
Speaker
Okay. I need a number 13. thirteen
01:54:30
Speaker
All right. I need another adjective. Actually two more, two more adjectives. Okay.
01:54:40
Speaker
Uh, you need two more adjectives. Yep. Let me see. Um, hot. No chili. chiy And let's see one more plural noun.
01:54:58
Speaker
You need one more plural noun. Yep. Um, okay. Uh, roads. All right. And an adverb. There's also a person in room here, but that's always the guest. So I put you and yep, just, oh, wait, there was another plural noun hiding. I need one more.
01:55:19
Speaker
Gosh, there's a Julian. They need another plural noun. Yes. And then I um need an adverb.
01:55:28
Speaker
Okay. I'm just, I'm overthinking this. I'm sorry. Writers always do.
01:55:38
Speaker
Yeah, you need another plural amount. I said screenplays, sharks, video games, theaters. ah What did I say? Roads? ah Windows.
01:55:50
Speaker
Windows. And an adverb.
01:55:56
Speaker
An adverb. Slowly.
01:56:00
Speaker
Okay, that is it. So this Mad Lib is called Spring Training. why My trip to Salem for baseball spring training was smooth.
01:56:15
Speaker
I went with my buddy, who is a generous fan, just like me. On the first day, we watched a kind exhibition game between the Barbados screenplays and the London Arts.
01:56:27
Speaker
yeah That sounds like a good team, actually. Throughout the entire sword, we were on the edge of our video games. The next day, so we watched the Fiji Windows hold batting and fielding practice.
01:56:45
Speaker
We learned quickly what a hot athlete Dave is. He hit 13 home theaters. Not only is he a power hitter, but he is also ah chile defensive a Chile defensive first
01:57:04
Speaker
After practice, I asked him to autograph one of the roads I had with me, which he did slowly. it is now on display in my room right next to my cape collection.
Dramatic Audio Storytelling
01:57:18
Speaker
Nice.
01:57:19
Speaker
Nice. That worked yeah it out. Yeah, it's not the thing about the cape collection. I think this is somebody we might want to keep our eye on. Right? That was...
01:57:30
Speaker
that was ah that was That was very fun. I like the London Sharks, though. I know. That's cool. Somebody get those grits on the horn. We're going to make that happen.
01:57:41
Speaker
ah Somebody... ah They sound like maybe somebody who might break your, break your arm. If you lose your bet on the game. but Dave, man, I'm so glad that you could be here and we could do this. oh but it It took a few tries, um but yeah.
01:57:58
Speaker
And so coming up, we are going to have a an audio story from Dave, which will follow my jibba jabba about the show. um And, uh, yeah, we want to remind all our readers and listeners to do find us on coffee. That's KO hyphen F I, ah we do have a $2 a month, uh, subscription level, which boy, would we love for you to send us $2 every month. That'd be so swell.
01:58:25
Speaker
Um, and, uh, yeah, so we'll see everybody next week.
01:58:43
Speaker
Uncle Andre, thanks for having me over. Sure thing, kid. Sorry you have to take the midnight train. No worries, I'm a night owl. What are you up to tonight? I won't be visiting any rehabs, that's for sure. Or hanging out with any writers.
01:58:59
Speaker
No. No writers either. Look at that full moon. Yes, that kind of full moon can really bring out the lunatics.
01:59:11
Speaker
People don't need the full moon as an excuse. They're crazy enough as it is. True. It's going to be a dark and stormy night tomorrow as well. That's why I'm staying in, and I'm not going to have any excitement unless I get called Going to watch any sitcoms?
01:59:27
Speaker
Yes, well, you happen to know that I'm a movie guy? Safe travels to me.
02:00:19
Speaker
Good evening. I'm here to see her honor. Where do I sign in? It's after visitors hours. My name is Detective Andre Dupin. I came all the way from Philadelphia.
02:00:31
Speaker
But? I don't have all night, buddy. What is your name? Fred. Well, Fred, time is of the essence. Father?
02:00:43
Speaker
Father. Malone. Father Christopher Malone. You can call me Father Chris. Dupont. A word of warning. That woman is highly agitated.
02:00:54
Speaker
Please be careful when you talk to her. Thank you for the advice. But she is an old woman in a straitjacket. How dangerous can she be?
02:01:05
Speaker
The mind is a dangerous weapon. Father Chris, have you ever seen a dead body? Yes. I had to do a funeral this past Tuesday. Did the body have a chalk outline around it?
02:01:18
Speaker
No. It was in a coffin. Exactly. i think you and I have very different definitions of danger. on stuff, way five.
02:01:38
Speaker
Hello, Your Honor. I do not want to talk to anyone. That ridiculous priest should told you that, officer. It's Detective, Your Honor.
02:01:52
Speaker
Detective Andre Dupont. Oh, Detective, then. Well, I'm honored. Dupont. Dupont.
02:02:03
Speaker
That's quite a name. So is Honorable Judge Rianne Booker. Smacks of authority. Dupin? Wasn't that the name of the detective in Murders in the Rue Morgue and the purloined letter?
02:02:20
Speaker
I'm impressed. You know your Edgar Allan Poe stories. Is that your real name? Believe it or not, several generations ago, Mr. Poe based that detective character...
02:02:32
Speaker
on a distant relative of mine. Oh, I see. So, Mr. Poe is dead and buried, but you have resurrected him and his stories with your ironic name.
02:02:46
Speaker
Mr. Poe is far from dead, Your Honor. He lives on through his stories. What are you trying to say, Detective? We need to discuss the Poe story our detective hero is not in.
02:03:00
Speaker
yeah Care to elaborate? This is a nice room for someone who got 302'd.
02:03:10
Speaker
Well, I'm um a Montgomery County judge. i get a special room. Good old Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. The judges have a reputation of being pretty harsh on people there.
02:03:24
Speaker
Oh, well, harsh or fair. It's a fine line, Detective. The finest, Your Honor. What game are you playing?
02:03:36
Speaker
No games, just conversation. But what should we talk about? There are so many topics to cover. How about we talk about Lauren?
02:03:51
Speaker
I am not discussing my daughter. fair enough. Then let's talk about the dead English professor from Donis University. Dr. Seth Warner, and how your daughter hung herself right after Dr. Warner was found dead and strangled in his apartment.
02:04:12
Speaker
That's two dead bodies, Your Honor. That's something beyond my control, Dupin. Is it? But you have a reputation as a control freak.
02:04:25
Speaker
I have a reputation for giving well-deserved creative punishment. If that means being a sadistic bully and letting your daughter off the hook, sure, call it creative.
02:04:40
Speaker
Or one could even say self-serving. If you're only going to insult me, then can you at least... Loosen these restraints on this straitjacket. I can't breathe.
02:04:59
Speaker
You want to have a conversation? I need to be comfortable in order to converse.
02:05:14
Speaker
Much better. Thank you.
02:05:18
Speaker
Your daughter left a message on Dr. Waller's cell phone. She said she was going to kill him for giving her an F on her paper on the telltale art.
02:05:32
Speaker
She was drunk. It was threat. She was in a blackout. And the threat was executed. She was drunk and in a blackout.
02:05:44
Speaker
It was a coincidence. That would be one hell of a coincidence. So is a judge being thrown into a lunatic asylum. I know this is painful for Then why are you here?
02:05:56
Speaker
To add to my trauma? I'm here to find all the remaining evidence. and finish this case. You're a little late to the party, Dupin. Oh, how so? Two people are dead, and soon there will be a third.
02:06:11
Speaker
Stop speaking in riddles.
02:06:16
Speaker
Well, I thought your ancestors loved them, preferred them. Makes it more challenging to solve a case, so to speak. A triangle has three sides.
02:06:29
Speaker
Individually, they are simply lines. Together, they are inextricably linked. Yet, when one falls, they all fall.
02:06:41
Speaker
I promised my daughter i would not hang myself like she did.
02:06:48
Speaker
What the hell? Go get the priest, detective. Father! Chris! Someone call 911! Father! We have a code radar, 035.
02:07:01
Speaker
Code radar. Repeat, code radar, 035. Medical personnel, status. We have a code radar, 035. the worker else we are cofriend our
02:07:22
Speaker
That was a terrible waste. I can't believe she killed herself. Why did she do it, Father? Your guess is as good as mine, Detective. What did she tell you? She was Catholic.
02:07:35
Speaker
I can't break the sacred sacramental seal. You're going to break it for me and for the victim's families. The woman is dead now. It's time for you to fess up about her final words.
02:07:48
Speaker
What do you think happened? First of all, calling her Catholic is a bit of a stretch. The woman was married eight times. Also, Lauren, her drug-addicted daughter, embarrassed the hell out of her.
02:08:00
Speaker
I believe they referred to Lauren Booker the Hooker, and Sugar Mama the Judge wasn't going to support her daughter's drug habits any longer, and the chaos and misery that it brought.
02:08:13
Speaker
go on I think that Psycho Judge was seeing Dr. Warner because she was even more promiscuous than her daughter was. She killed him in a jealous lover's rage when she found out he was seeing Lauren. Well?
02:08:31
Speaker
She told me that she had promised her daughter that she would not hang herself, and she didn't. Her honor never told Lauren that she wouldn't slit her own throat. Plausible?
02:08:44
Speaker
Yes. i also think she 302'd herself. Why? Guilt. Perhaps that's where the Catholicism comes in, Father.
02:08:55
Speaker
She couldn't live with the guilt. She killed Dr. Warner, which prompted her daughter to commit suicide. There was no one left to keep her company except her demons.
02:09:09
Speaker
I must say she had a great alibi with her daughter's drunk dialing confession. When Lauren threatened the professor's life, the judge was off the hook. Not God's hook.
02:09:19
Speaker
No, she was able to sneak in a razor blade because they treated her differently. This is the suite of the plaza compared to most of the rooms here.
02:09:30
Speaker
She died from guilt, you say? Yes. i see. Am I right? Detective, the sacramental seal. Am I right?
02:09:41
Speaker
Father, if everything I've said is true and this will basically solve the case, then I want you to cough. You want me to cough? Yes, Father.
02:09:53
Speaker
Cough if I'm correct. I don't know.
02:09:59
Speaker
don't know. Yes, thank you, Father. Now I can get the hell out of this asylum. Hey, I'm a heavy smoker. Yeah, sure you are.
02:10:14
Speaker
See you, Fred. why I heard everything. This is crazy. Yes, Fred. I think someone is going to write a book about this someday. I'm more of a movie kind of guy.
02:10:26
Speaker
Fred? Yes? Look, I can tell you drink on the job. Please check yourself into a rehab soon. The job is more challenging than people think, and sometimes I need to take the edge off a little. Do it.
02:10:41
Speaker
Do it soon, Fred. Please. It's stressful here. I know. But the inmates are running the asylum. Do it tomorrow. Okay, I will, Detective. I promise.
02:10:59
Speaker
That is one nutty psych ward.