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Episode 107: Disrespect!
73 Plays6 years ago
This week the boys are chatting Dark Side of the Ring: New Jack, everyone in Tiger King being a heel, Dynamite, Derrick joining the Animal Crossing world, and more!
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Transcript
00:00:34
Speaker
Hey
Introduction and Tone Setting
00:00:35
Speaker
everybody, welcome to another episode of Predetermined, a show for anyone who's ever been asked the question. You know it's fake, right? I'm your host, Garrett Callender. I'm your other host, Derek Halpin. Hey, what we... Oh, no, no, we stepped on each other there, I'm sorry. We did, but I was gonna start the show with, by doing something that you were supposed to do to start the show. That... But I don't have a white claw, what I do have... Yeah, that didn't make a noise at all. Is a Bud Light Lime.
00:01:07
Speaker
And it's delicious. I got two open lemon white claws right now because I accidentally opened one while I was just on the phone with Derek. I forget sometimes that it is a prop. It's a prop and it's actually an enhancement for the show.
New Jack and 'Dark Side of the Ring'
00:01:24
Speaker
It's a lubricant. It is literally a lubricant for the body, but it's also sort of a metaphorical lubricant for the topic at hand, which is professional wrestling.
00:01:37
Speaker
Man, New Jack's kind of mean, huh? We got things to discuss, and that's kind of why I brought an alcoholic beverage into this recording session. Well, in honor of New Jack, I have just snorted a line of cocaine, and I have a knife in one hand, so... God damn, man. First of all,
00:02:00
Speaker
I don't think we, I mean, we covered the first season of Dark Side of the Ring on this show. I mean, they did a fantastic job that first season, like, hats off to them.
00:02:12
Speaker
What they're doing so far in the first two episodes of season two is, is like, I mean, I feel like it ramped it up a level and I don't know if it's because it's within our lifetime. Like it's more personal to us, but between Chris Benoit and fucking new Jack, this shit is ugly. Like fucking ugly.
00:02:32
Speaker
And I don't know how much you knew about New Jack coming into this episode of Dark Side of the Ring, but I have fucking hated him for years. I had already seen all the videos that they showed, but getting to hear the backstory behind why some of it happened and also getting to see Sandman's reaction to, that's why you threw him off the scaffolding. And he has no remorse. He's like excited to be like, I was fucking New Jack doing it again.
00:03:02
Speaker
Man, I fucking hate New Jack so much. But here's the thing, I tweeted that out the other night on social media and as soon as I sent it I was like, man what if he finds that and he comes and tries to kill me? New Jack is truly a man I don't want to fuck with and I barely want to say anything bad about him other than that he's scary. Because do you feel like New Jack is like Nick Gage if Nick Gage was living the gimmick 24-7?
00:03:27
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like Nick Gage could hold his own against New Jack, but that's maybe the one person I would be worried to watch Nick Gage go up against. And in that regard, it must be the main event of a future Joey Janela spring break. It's just a knives out match. Nick Gage versus New Jack in a slaughter fest. Jesus fuck. Here's the thing.
00:03:54
Speaker
I don't wanna touch anyone's nerve with this. Again, we dove right into the Crispin Wash it last week, but this May, we have been very, how would you put it?
00:04:06
Speaker
We've been very supportive of those who have, uh, dark backstories and as a result have mental health issues later on in life. But I'm, I'm not allowing new Jack to play the card on because I feel like that's what he did throughout the entire episode was be like, like, or at least, or at least the way they edited it on TV made it seem like they would show a clip.
00:04:30
Speaker
of him almost murdering somebody or trying to murder somebody and then they would cut the new jacket he'd be like remember I had a fucked up childhood and they would show that shadowy image of fucking Michael Myers standing over a woman getting ready to stab her like as if though like he's like I had a fucked up childhood I get to just murder people now
00:04:51
Speaker
Well, okay, so he watched his dad stab his mom, what, five times, nine times, somewhere? Nine. Nine times. Or did he stab the guy nine times? That's a weird thing to fuck up. Oh, he stabbed the guy nine times, for sure. Yeah. Well, either way, we're getting our stab numbers mixed up. I was never good at math. Plenty of stabbing in the last episode of Dark Side of the Ring. But he did witness his dad stab his mom, and it sounded like his dad had no consequences.
00:05:22
Speaker
Yeah. And you know what? To his point, neither his new Jack. Exactly. That's what he learned from that is stabbing doesn't have consequences. And as far as I can tell, it fucking doesn't as long as it happens in a wrestling ring. Lying about your age is far worse than trying to murder somebody, apparently. I don't think it was him lying about his age. It was he didn't he wasn't respectful enough. Are we talking about mass transit now, right?
00:05:50
Speaker
yeah we're talking about fucking mass transit we're talking about there's a guy who consistently does blow right before his matches so that he can get high literally and figuratively and then goes out there and is like oh you're gonna pussy out on this high spot fuck that die
00:06:07
Speaker
New Jack really put his name in the cement, put his hand prints in front of the wrestling theater for this one. We would still possibly be talking about him just from jumping off of high shit, but when you almost kill three guys in the ring, you have a legacy. I mean, I think with the one guy, I can't remember the name of the guy, the guy he was wrestling who started legitimately hitting him in the face, I'm okay with him being fucking
00:06:38
Speaker
I don't know, violent with that dude, but I don't know if it warranted him suddenly. Like the fact that he produced a quote unquote, one part of a three piece Wolverine claw.
00:06:52
Speaker
for those watching at home. That was an important part of the story. New Jack had a Wolverine claw set of claws and they broke and he had one of those in his pocket during a match. Lord knows why. Lord knows why he went into that match thinking I need this just in case this, this guy gets a little rough with me and decides to just fucking shank him apparently nine times.
Wrestling Violence and Moral Lines
00:07:17
Speaker
Well, no, he said that the guy came over, asked what he wanted to do in the match and then like got up partway through. So the guy once again disrespected new Jack, which we've learned. Maybe the other people felt disrespected because they were working with somebody who was doing blow. The new Jack ever think about that? I can go in guaranteed. No, I can promise you he didn't have a hard thought about that one. If asked, he would probably say, and I don't give a shit.
00:07:45
Speaker
I think what we've learned is you gotta really decide if the juice is worth the squeeze when you get into the ring with New Jack. It's never once been worth the squeeze. Is there anyone that you would feel comfortable putting in the ring with him? Again, it's like I think Nick Gage is the only one that I feel like might be able to like restrain him the proper way and even that may be a stretch.
00:08:11
Speaker
You think that he would at least respect Nick Gage enough to not stab him? I actually don't think New Jack would respect Nick Gage in the slightest. That pisses me off now. You think that pisses you off, just wait until Nick hears this.
00:08:29
Speaker
Okay, so the main ones that new Jack did he had Who was the guy he threw off the scaffolding because we got to really break that that whole situation? His name Vic Joseph or something like that. I Honestly don't remember the name. I just remember something
00:08:46
Speaker
and they had worked a match earlier and there was a spot where they were supposed to do this this double jet like i don't know if it was supposed to be like a spanish fly or what the fuck you know my feelings on the spanish fly now add like 30 feet um
00:09:00
Speaker
Yeah, I guess the guy kind of chickened out when he got up there. Hey, that happens. And New Jack's like, no, that's not how we do shit. You agree to do this, we're going. Which is, I guess I can't shame him too much. That's essentially what I did to you when we went to our first deathmatch and you tried to run away. I pulled you back in. The difference is you pulled me back, New Jack pulled a taser out of his pocket, tased the guy, and then threw him off the ledge.
00:09:24
Speaker
Here's the thing, the guy hit the ropes and that's what saved him. New Jack's intent was for him to land on the outside part of the ring because the guy had fractured New Jack's skull a year prior. It's not even that. I guess New Jack was mad that the guy didn't call him an apology. Exactly.
00:09:47
Speaker
you see it sounds outrageous when you say it is like the line separating like I would I wouldn't have done anything to him and I'm gonna try to murder him as a phone call an apology like that's it if you had wronged a man would you do a scaffolding match with him
00:10:07
Speaker
If I had wronged him? Oh wait, you mean like hypothetically if I was in New Jack's position? Not just New Jack, but just any man. If you had wronged somebody, would you do a match that dangerous with the person who's pissed at you? No. Especially no. I wouldn't do it period, but like if- if- no. Garrett, no.
00:10:27
Speaker
Okay. What did you expect my answer to be? Others. Is that one of those things where you thought it was gonna be like me and Brock Lesnar, where you thought I was gonna oversell my toughness? Maybe. No, I'm not doing a fucking scaffolding match. This is really, this new world we live in has really brought out the honesty in you.
00:10:47
Speaker
It's true. I could go anytime, so I might as well lay it all out there. But I really, like I can't stress enough. There's a short list of professional wrestlers I will flat out tell you that I hate and New Jack is one of them. New Jack, if you hear this, I am so sorry. The views of Derek. No, he listened to the rest of it. He heard you laughing at him. I'm not laughing at him. I'm laughing with New Jack.
00:11:15
Speaker
because he knows what he's gonna do to me. You heard him laugh like six or seven times. Last night, when I was watching that thing, they said, now we have to ask you about something. He goes, oh, it's gonna be the mass transit thing. I knew you were gonna ask me about it.
00:11:30
Speaker
Yeah, there's like three fucking things that guy gets asked about probably. One of the three times he tried to murder somebody. Well, one of the times that he tried to murder somebody mass transit. Let's break this down. 17 year old kid lies about his age, lies about his experience, gets a match with new Jack.
00:11:50
Speaker
He goes and I guess is disrespectful and is like, can I get offense on you? And that was as far as I can tell what was asked of him. Well, basically, the way he laid it out was that he was mad that the kid came to the table with suggestions. Like, essentially, it was let me let me make this part of the story clear for those who who lack the social skills to understand how this should probably go down. If you are working a match with new Jack,
00:12:20
Speaker
The last thing, I don't care if he is a veteran, the last thing I'm gonna do is walk up to New Jack and be like, hey New Jack, what do you wanna do in this match? And leave all of that up to him. Fuck that.
00:12:36
Speaker
Let the guy who's doing the coke decide what's going on. Yes, by always. Oh, and then what did they decide upon on that spot where they were going to go to the top and do the flip with the other guy and then the guy chickened out? I'm not going to let fucking new Jack define the terms of our match and then put me in a situation where I have to maybe mid match go, nah, I don't think so, dude.
00:12:56
Speaker
Well, it sounded like this kid mass transit knew, you know, he was at an ECW show and he wanted to get over. And it sounded like he wanted some blood, so New Jack obliged. I love that you're playing devil's advocate for New Jack right now. I'm just saying there's two sides to every story and New Jack seemed to tell me a really honest side of the story, which was I was doing cocaine and then cut the kid with a surgical knife.
00:13:25
Speaker
Not apologetic in the least. Well, he disrespected him, but then I'm glad that's a get out of jail free card for murder. Well, it is when you hear new Jack say it with such like confidence, you believe that disrespect is a reason to murder somebody and get away with it. What did you like? How much did you know about new Jack coming into this?
00:13:47
Speaker
I mean, I didn't know anything about his childhood or anything, but I had, you know, I knew who he was. I knew he was an ECW guy. And I knew that he had tried to murder a handful of people because, you know, this is the kind of show that would watch those videos.
00:14:05
Speaker
I had, my friend Johnny, who's moving to Chicago soon, by the way, introduced me to a lot of New Jacks shit maybe four or five, six years ago. And I knew who New Jack was and I knew what he had done, but I had never gone out of my way to watch his shit in ECW where they would just run his music during his whole match.
00:14:29
Speaker
It's it's what's funny is that I my initial impression of Nick Gage is that he was another new Jack and now that's funny because like now there's a whole other tier Like new Jack like I knew the tier that new Jack was but now I have to like redefine like another zone For like people who appear to be completely terrifying and could murder you but probably won't
00:14:53
Speaker
And that's where Nick Gage resides. New Jack is above that in the tier that looks like somebody who would fucking maim and murder you and would. Yeah, Nick Gage was a guy who was really friendly, friendly to me at a breakfast. New Jack.
00:15:10
Speaker
I would go over to ask a question. He would be mid-cocaine while also eating scrambled eggs and just start stabbing me with a spoon until it goes through. Because of the way you looked at him. Because I was disrespectful in the way that I approached him.
00:15:26
Speaker
You're telling me a motherfucker in a Carly Rae Jepsen shirt's gonna come interrupt me in the middle of doing blow? Disrespect. Death. I hope to God he doesn't listen to this and come find us and murder us. Where does New Jack live? Hopefully somewhere near Nashville, which is where you live. I was thinking somewhere near Chicago. Now we're just shoving each other in front of the train.
00:15:53
Speaker
Well, he's gonna be, he's gonna give Johnny a high five for introducing you to new jack matches and he'll give you a fucking shank for all the bad shit you said about him.
00:16:05
Speaker
I fuck New Jack, I don't even care, fuck him. Like that shit to me is like, for as worked up as people get about fucking Chris Benoit, like that guy, Chris Benoit I legitimately believe had his fucking brain mangled and he was a different fucking person. New Jack is here telling me the story of his life and his motivations and the drugs he was doing right before he attempted murder multiple times.
00:16:30
Speaker
Well, it's okay. So is new Jack the only person who gets to be in his dark side of the ring? In their dark side of the ring episode is every other wrestler passed away? Well, that's not true because not every episode is about somebody passing away. Yeah, I don't it's not. I'm surprised that new Jack is still around.
Wrestling's Dark Stories
00:16:53
Speaker
That is that is a feat into unto itself.
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, but like, I mean, obviously if the subject is death, that person isn't going to be in their fucking their episode. But like, if you go back to the Bret Hart episode, he was in his Montreal screw job. Oh, that's that's true. That's true. So what else do we have coming up on the dark side of the ring besides Owen Hart? Um.
00:17:22
Speaker
I just saw the preview for what's coming up and now I'm completely blanking on the next episode. I do know that for the fact that, I can't remember all the stuff they covered in season one, but for season two to cover both the Crispin Waugh story and the Owen Hart story, which were like the two biggest, most significant deaths in wrestling in the last couple of decades. At least in our lifetime. Yeah. Cause like, I guess, Bruiser Brody died in our lifetimes too, but we were too little.
00:17:53
Speaker
Well, and this was just such a big, you know, this caught a lot of news, both of them. What are some other ones? Like, like after this season, what are other big stories that they could do? China. China would be one.
00:18:10
Speaker
I think we're gonna have found out that Mick Foley's finally gonna come forward and say, you know, I suggested some shit for that Hell in a Cell match. An Undertaker threw me off the top. I disrespected him. He was trying to throw me onto the ring barricade.
00:18:29
Speaker
Some bitch proved himself to me that day. He respected him every day since. God damn. So, I don't know, this has been fun to follow. I hope this gets more seasonal. I don't watch the After Dark program. I tried and it's just fucking awkward.
00:18:48
Speaker
And I'm not going to blame them for that. It's the circumstances we're going through with everyone kind of being locked down and unable to do face to face interviews. But like webcam interviews on these hard hitting subjects, especially when they invite a fucking comedian in. Like I'm like, I don't know if this is necessarily the fucking subject material. Who did they have on the show? I actually I've been watching it on YouTube, so I haven't seen the after dark.
00:19:12
Speaker
Well, like I said, I watched some of like after episode one of season two, like, and I know they had like Chavo Guerrero and Tommy Dreamer and then some other comedian on there to talk about Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero.
'Tiger King' and Wrestling Parallels
00:19:25
Speaker
It was just, yeah, what do you have Sam Roberts on there after New Jack?
00:19:30
Speaker
Like you get done watching this emotional dark story and they're like, ah, let's have some laughs about it. It's like, I don't know. I don't know if this works. Do you think new Jack would fit into the current GCW roster? Yes.
00:19:44
Speaker
He would fucking kill Jimmy Lloyd, and we'd all have to deal with that. Jimmy Lloyd would be victim number one. I think that's a perfect pick, Garrett. Jimmy Lloyd is somebody new Jack would look at me like he's expendable. He doesn't even look like a wrestler. Just so you know, I opened my phone to my notes for the show, and I noticed that the last note I had made on here just said, if Jimmy Lloyd borrows a game, you know it's coming back with a scratch on it.
00:20:15
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. What made you think of that? No, that was just a note in here that I had already made. You were thinking of that. There's not too many people that I would loan any kind of disc material to without the expectation it's coming back with at least a couple scratches. I don't like loading... What are you doing? See? See? If we have to be honest and talk about what that thud was,
00:20:43
Speaker
I am not in my normal spot where I do this podcast. Are you standing? I am standing in the bedroom once again. Leah is using where I podcast as her office while she's working from home. So I am walking around the bedroom with a microphone twirling a walking stick and I'm not going to lie to you got away from me and had an air purifier.
00:21:08
Speaker
So, let's switch things to a lighter note coming off Dark Side of the Ring. My life the last week has basically been a combination of Tiger King and Animal Crossing. I hear that. I finally did watch Tiger King. Yeah, that's been the hot show the last couple of weeks.
00:21:33
Speaker
What made you finally make the plunge? Probably hearing the 50 people I had asking me if I had watched it yet. And you were like, I gotta get this out of the way so they'll leave me the fuck alone. But then after I completely understood why they wanted me to watch it, like honestly, I would have sexed that man if I got to pet that baby tiger.
00:21:57
Speaker
The funny thing is, I don't remember what episode it was, but there was one point where the quote was like, don't fucking lie. Everyone loves fucking baby tigers. They're like, you're lying if you want. And in my mind, I was thinking like, I don't know if I do. I don't know if I've ever had like a tiger fascination. I really don't give a shit. That's not what I was there for. I was there for the cast of heels that starred in this programming.
00:22:24
Speaker
It truly was all bad guys. Maybe the only good people. He had one husband. Also, spoiler alert for Tiger King. I'm sorry that, you know, we are talking about Tiger King in the middle of a pro wrestling show, but also not a lot of fucking wrestling happening right now. It's also what people should come to expect when they listen to this fucking podcast. That's true.
00:22:47
Speaker
I think that people understand that there's other things going on in our lives besides the pro wrestling part, and we're gonna talk about that shit too. I think the one good, the one baby face on that entire season of Tiger King was, I can't think of his name, was it Josh? Whoever his fucking campaign manager was.
00:23:07
Speaker
who like worked at a grocery store or something and then started working his campaign. He was the manager at a Walmart over the gun department. Joe would frequent and buy ammo from every day. And Joe was like, you know more about politics than me. So he fucking hired him. And that man told the truth and he vaped and he watched a man commit suicide like 15 feet away from him.
00:23:36
Speaker
Who did he, oh shit, yeah that's right. A lot happened in that, it's hard to retain everything.
00:23:43
Speaker
So Garrett, you are more than any other person I know in my life, a man who gets fascinated with characters. Is that fair to say? Yeah. I like to find somebody who, you know, has something to offer me, but not everyone else has. You look at people like Marcus Crane and Nick Gage and Jimmy Lloyd and all you see is untapped potential.
00:24:11
Speaker
So could you explain to people who have not watched Tiger King yet, or even for those who have, what is it that draws people to somebody like Joe Exotic? You asked a question that I'm unable to answer, and I think you knew that when you asked me.
00:24:29
Speaker
Why are you unable to answer that? Because I have no fucking idea. Dude's got like all these piercings that are barely hanging on to his face. I have answers to that question. Like I have like theories. You have theories on why he's the most fu- like this guy. Make no- again like I like I led this conversation with make no mistake. Joe Exotic is a heel.
00:24:50
Speaker
but you know how they have like the map that has like you know neutral good chaotic evil chaotic good like all that shit you think he's a baby away from being a miss he could flip on us i think so like i think
00:25:07
Speaker
like I don't know like I think his attempted a baby was that pizza shop he tried to attach to his tiger tiger exhibit that he was using expired meat from a Walmart correct that Josh probably hooked him up with
00:25:26
Speaker
Here's the thing about Joe Exotic. He has all the qualities of somebody, take that back, he has most of the qualities of somebody that I would not get along with. If you've gone to YouTube and watched any of his political rants or just his rants in general, it's a fucking pro wrestling promo.
00:25:47
Speaker
Watching Joe Exotic go on a tangent makes me want to be in a tag team in the South with Joe Exotic as my manager so he can do all the talking. He's essentially going to be your Johnny Fair play. I want him to be my low-class Bobby Heenan.
00:26:13
Speaker
Um, there's so much fun and the language, like, here's the thing. There's very few people that you can get away with saying like nowadays, especially, but people who are like, Oh, he just tells it like it is. I don't believe when I've ever seen Joe exotic cut a promo that I felt like he was just blowing smoke up my ass. Like whatever he says, I genuinely believe he feels even if he's wrong, even if it's something I completely disagree with.
00:26:37
Speaker
I like just the way like he'll go on a fucking tangent and then he'll stop just to take a detour in the conversation so he can use an expletive to convey how upset and worked up he is and then he immediately switched his subject and keeps going. I love that every sentence also starts with that bitch Carole Baskin.
00:26:58
Speaker
Kind of fucking worn out because that bitch down in Tampa Man, who would you put? Okay, so he's your manager. Who are you going up against? Who would you love to see Joe? Exotic cut a promo on him pro wrestling. I want Joe exotic managing you and me against the rock and roll Express during the 80s Which we forgot to mention the Rodney King reenactment with fucking
00:27:25
Speaker
Robert, what made you think of that? Well, it was the new Jack thing. Well, I know that, but like there's so new Jack and the gangsters in an ECW did a. I think this was in Mid-South. Or you mean a Smokey Mountain? Smokey Mountain, sorry. Cornette's promo or promotion, because Cornette acted like and they went out there and did the fucking Rodney King thing like he didn't know it was going to happen.
00:27:54
Speaker
Beat up fuckin' Robert Gibson!
00:27:57
Speaker
Did that tickle you, knowing that he was involved in that? Well, yeah, especially because I have that picture with Robert Gibson at a restaurant in Louisiana. I've got a personal connection to that man. I think Joe has some charming qualities, and one of them is that you feel like he's telling it like it is and shooting for the stars. The other thing is,
00:28:27
Speaker
He falls and he's gay, but he falls and loves with straight dudes and just goes along with it until it doesn't work out. And it seems like it typically works out pretty well. For a while, at least. It's worth a shot. You know what? I really respect that about him, that he's able to just turn a man and all this. There really must be something magical about a baby tiger. I've never touched one, but it seems like when you do, you end up with a weirdo.
00:28:55
Speaker
Did you feel like you needed to know he has a Prince Albert? I did. I did need to know that. I wish we could have been there when he got it. He got pretty fucked up, but his husband at the time committed suicide. He fucking hosted the funeral, sang one of his country songs at the funeral, and then within weeks was dating somebody else and marrying them two months later.
00:29:26
Speaker
Like again, when you watch the show, there aren't really any baby faces to be seen. Everybody's kind of a dick bag in some form or fashion. I can't disagree with that show. Yeah, I was.
Nintendo Switch Adventures
00:29:43
Speaker
So beyond that, you finally, when you, when you were here last month, which hard to believe it was like a month ago,
00:29:51
Speaker
When you were here, because it feels like it's been six or seven. Oh yeah, I haven't seen outside in years. You brought along your Nintendo Switch.
00:30:02
Speaker
and you talked me into getting one. So yesterday after work, I made a point, plus I've been hearing everybody rave about Animal Crossing. I talked to you into getting it. The listener of the show, Jeffy, he decided he wanted to get one. Queen of the Rings, she already had one. I have a bunch of other friends who had one and the game. So I said, fuck it. We're in quarantine. I need stuff to do.
00:30:28
Speaker
I'm grabbing one too. I went to three different targets, Garrett. I went to three different targets within an hour to make this happen. You know why? Because I wanted the gray one and every place had the fucking turquoise one or the yellow one. Wait, wait. So it wasn't sold out. You just couldn't find the color you wanted. Well, no. So there was a combination of factors. Yes, I did want the gray one, but then like places that would have like the switch wouldn't have the game. The game was sold out a lot of places.
00:30:59
Speaker
It wasn't until the third target that I had the combination of the console I wanted to end the game. Were you being judgy about that? What's your island's name?
00:31:10
Speaker
I named my island Ecto Isle. I feel like they should have given you more characters. I didn't realize that they were going to be so limiting on that. I guess, I guess it makes you be more creative, but I'm a big fan of Ghostbusters. Uh, kind of wanted a, a haunted themed or Halloween themed Island for obvious reasons. So, uh, Ecto Isle, it is. I tried to name it Ecto Island, but obviously one character too many.
00:31:38
Speaker
Let's say right now in this moment, you could watch on Twitch any wrestler in existence playing this game on Twitch. Who would you like to see play Animal Crossing? Flip a coin, Nick Gage or New Jack. See, I kind of want to go Jake the Snake.
00:31:59
Speaker
What about Vince McMahon? Ooh. Yeah, he definitely has not played a video game in a long time. Or ever. You mean I have to fucking donate my bugs and fish to the museum? I can't just sell them for more money? Or I'm gonna pick a, you know, my all-time favorite wrestler. Roman Reigns? Abraham Lincoln. Abraham fucking Lincoln. He'd be so confused with the technology.
00:32:25
Speaker
he'd get it after a few days after a few days after he was fucking over the fact that electricity existed he would probably be very vulnerable to coronavirus so I don't know if he would have a few days to play it
00:32:42
Speaker
Well, I'd let him stay inside here. I'd let himself quarantine. The bed would be too short for him, I'm sure, but here he was a tall man. But I am a loving, kind individual, despite how I may come across when I talk about certain people on this podcast. So if you have a Nintendo Switch and you want to be my friend on there, just reach out to me.
00:33:01
Speaker
and we'll exchange friend codes. He's like, and let me read to you my 12 digit fucking code right now. Here's my social security number. Here's my phone number. Let's be BFFs. Are you happy when I told you that I was joining in? Absolutely.
00:33:21
Speaker
We haven't hung out yet. I haven't paid for, I haven't done my seven day free trial of the online service. That's the other thing. I didn't know that was a thing until I was buying the Switch. I figured Nintendo wouldn't have like a online service. I think it's only like 20 bucks for the year or something.
00:33:37
Speaker
Yeah, it's not bad. I'm not worried about it. But it was just one of those things where I was like, oh, they fucking still haven't solved this issue. Well, I am very excited to play with you in my my lucha hang island so that you can see the very welcoming entrance to the plane station, which is a ring of barbed wire. Man, I have so much I need to learn about this game. From what I hear, Queen of the Rings got a wrestling ring. You've got barbed wire.
00:34:05
Speaker
All I know is right now is I've got oranges. I've got a bunch of fucking oranges and because we're getting close to Easter, this fucking rabbit showed up in my town and is making me find eggs. Don't listen to him. Eat the eggs, sell the eggs, fuck that rabbit. I don't care what free thing he's going to give me. My shitty little tent right now, the floor is covered in Easter eggs.
00:34:31
Speaker
Derek, don't let this rabbit push you around. I'm used to rabbits pushing me around, they're so cute. You watch Dynamite? I did watch some Dynamite. I don't know why I had a hard time saying Dynamite. What'd you think of that opener?
00:34:48
Speaker
Hot fucking opener. Trent looks good. Let's appreciate a couple of different things here. Do you feel like in the first few months of AEW Dynamite they wanted to plant the seeds and show you how good Scorpio Sky was and that he
AEW Highlights and COVID-19 Impact
00:35:06
Speaker
could hang as a singles competitor and now they're doing that with Trent?
00:35:10
Speaker
That's true. Do you think they were going to break him off or what do you think? I think they're letting you know that there's some of those guys in that tag division that could break off and and be single stars. I just love a lot of stuff from this match that I fucking loved. But before I forget, Orange Cassidy going in for a hug from Kenny Omega. Maybe most important thing that happens because he looked so disappointed that he didn't get a hug.
00:35:40
Speaker
Chuck Taylor having to pull Orange Cassidy back from receiving that hug was like he's like don't leave us if Orange Cassidy joined the elite man can I can I get an Orange Club t-shirt I'm sure you can with where it's just a skull wearing the fucking aviators and a couple of nectars nectarines instead of guns or bullets
00:36:08
Speaker
Maybe that's out there. If that doesn't exist yet, somebody needs to work on that. No, this match was a banger. Was this a two segment match? It almost went the full 20 minutes. Yeah, it went over 19 minutes. The time limit was 20. If this is what they're going to do, if they just want to start giving me 20-minute Kenny Omega matches to open the show every time, every time, give me that. I'm totally fine with it.
00:36:35
Speaker
Can we also talk about the fact that Cody is a natural on commentary? He's so good. He picked that up in a short amount of time. Maybe he's always had it. I don't remember him ever doing commentary on Ring of Honor or anything, but God, he points out so many things and he does a good job of just picking little things and try and help with the psychology of it, and that's really helping me.
00:37:02
Speaker
And he was doing a good job of putting both guys over and like what they're good at. Like when he was breaking down Kenny and Trent's chops and how tough Kenny is and that he's a good striker. But he's not afraid to put you down if he needs to. He put down QT Marshall's airline. And he also put down Joey Janela's social media skills. AEW. AEW. I don't know. Like it's.
00:37:33
Speaker
This is just a minor tangent and we'll get back here on track talking about dynamite. Do you know what this week is?
00:37:41
Speaker
You kidding me? I'm supposed to be in Tampa right now, baby. It's WrestleMania week. This is essentially the go home and stay home edition of predetermined. Because we're not supposed to go anywhere. WrestleMania is this weekend. And I said that to my roommate, Chris, yesterday. I was like, you know what's this weekend? And I let it linger there. And he's like, no. And I was like, WrestleMania is this weekend. Two nights, taped. Two big for one night.
00:38:15
Speaker
I mean, some of the stuff's already done. That's like to hold on whole things done. What? Let me ask you this question. What's more, what was, what is or would be, I guess, in your mind, more disappointing that WrestleMania wouldn't happen in front of anybody like with no fans or that WrestleMania was taped and you're just watching a taped program.
00:38:38
Speaker
I am excited to see how they present it because now that they've actually, they get to edit it, they can redo anything, they should in theory with a taped WrestleMania be able to make every match perfect. Theoretically, I mean, wasn't that some of the knock on some of the NXT matches was that they felt like they got to rehearse those matches in the performance center and perfect them?
00:39:02
Speaker
Is that? I've heard that that was like a lot of people's knock on NXT was that they do the show on Wednesday, but they spend so much time at the performance center there in Florida. They basically get to work together all week to do certain spots and to get stuff perfect before they bring it up on takeover.
00:39:20
Speaker
Mmm, it would explain a lot I mean it would make sense if they're good because they're getting that much practice But I'm not comfortable with me telling you that they're not as perfect as you thought they are No, I'm saying like to me. I saw those guys show like drive up to PWG Spend you know an hour in the building before they let the people in and then put on these incredible matches So I'm not telling you they're not good
00:39:44
Speaker
I'm just saying, when you're really, really good, plus you get practice time, everything's going to be fucking excellent. So you're telling me that's Randy Orton's problem, because he needs a little practice? I'm saying Randy Orton could be at his fucking best if he's got like four hours to work on a match with cameras with Edge. I hope he does. And honestly, I hope they present this because this also opens it up to let them have it be a little more cinematic or something.
00:40:13
Speaker
I guess this is gonna be such a weird mania to look back on. 100%. This was just supposed to be a tangent in the middle of us talking about dynamite, but I really didn't watch any WWE this week, so.
00:40:27
Speaker
It's just a weird thing. This would normally, the past couple years, this has always been a big episode for us, where we kind of preview the card and everything, but I hate to be Debbie Downer about it. I really just don't give a shit. They can't sell me on it without a crowd and with it being taped, and it's both of those things. I kind of see both sides on this. Should it have happened? Probably not. Am I happy that it's happening?
00:40:53
Speaker
Yeah, as a person who doesn't have anything to do and it's stuck at home, I'm absolutely going to watch both nights of it. Let me ask you this question. Given the circumstances, would you be excited for crown jewel? I would probably. The hesitation says everything. The hesitation is an indictment on mania. It's true. I would tune into any wrestling right now. Super showdown and crown jewel.
00:41:23
Speaker
You would be just as excited for those as you would be Mania. Be like, fuck yeah, we're pulling Undertaker back out to do something. Did you see? So you didn't see Undertaker's promo on AJ Styles and Undertaker's back and forth? No, but I heard something he brought up TNA. Is that true? Well, I think he brought up TNA. AJ referred to him as Mark Callaway.
00:41:45
Speaker
Yeah, I knew about that. What else? Did Undertaker called him an ass clown? That's Jericho's thing. I know, and somebody pointed that out to him. He did say, I thought I knew that from somewhere. I mean, we'll move on from the mania stuff, but I guess we got to talk about it. It is kind of an afterthought. No, are you not planning on watching?
00:42:13
Speaker
I haven't
Recent Wrestling Events and Humor
00:42:14
Speaker
really thought about it. It's two nights. I mean, I might sit there and play Animal Crossing and have it on. Well, I'm saying we're a pro wrestling podcast and you can't just not watch WrestleMania. It's not fucking WrestleMania, Garrett. They can keep telling me that it's WrestleMania, but it's not. But there's gonna be wrestling at it and we have to cover whatever the hell is on this show. It's sports entertainment, Garrett. It's not professional wrestling.
00:42:43
Speaker
We get two nights of Gronkomania, motherfucker! And you tune in!
00:42:52
Speaker
You're still enthusiastic about it. I still like that time that the Gronk danced a little bit, and that sold me even though I haven't watched the rest of the show. I was going to ask, how much of Raw and SmackDown have you watched the last couple of weeks? I watched a little bit of both, but honestly, a little bit. Okay, so the big news, I like that the pro wrestling news outlets had to focus on something this week,
00:43:17
Speaker
And all they had was one match on Raw. So they focused on Angelo Dawkins or, uh, fuck the street profits or Angelo Dawkins and Montes Ford. Yes. They focused on Montes Ford fucking up a move. They're like, they focused on it. Like it was the biggest deal ever. He was fine. Everything worked out. It wasn't that big of a deal. It was, it was a botched move, but I like in a week that there's only one wrestling match.
00:43:47
Speaker
That is the big news. Well from what I saw what happened was is that Seth Rollins was supposed to grab Montes Ford's leg and prevent him from doing like a like a suicide dive but Seth missed and didn't grab his leg so Montes Ford just fell to the outside.
00:44:07
Speaker
He didn't really fall. They kind of tried to catch him, but didn't really. And did you notice that Kenny did the same move in the match with Trent? Was that a tribute? I was hoping it was. He did the exact same thing and they caught him, but he did still almost at his head. He was watching. He was like, watch this. Anyways, back to Dynamite. I finally saw what you were talking about with Lance Archer's finisher being the razor's edge, but the other way around.
00:44:36
Speaker
It's scary. It is scary. Poor little Marco Stunt. I like that they treated that match as if it were just, I don't know. If you were gonna bring in a jobber for Lance Archer, do you think you'd pick a larger person? Right, like it's a debut match and Tony Khan's a dick. Like in Storyline, Tony Khan is an asshole.
00:45:04
Speaker
like maybe in real life he's fantastic, but as the owner of AEW he just fed Marco Stunt to this monster.
00:45:13
Speaker
In all fairness, Marco got a tiny bit of offense, but that pissed off Lance Archer. He pulled out a knife, stabbed Marco six or seven times. For the disrespect. And who needs to throw somebody off some fucking scaffolding when you got fucking Darby Allen doing coffin drops off of fucking pillars?
00:45:35
Speaker
That really is a way to fill 20 minutes in an AEW time limit is just throw fucking Darby Allen wherever you want for a while while Jimmy Havoc watches from the side.
00:45:47
Speaker
I think one of the things that's going to be interesting to see is if we can come out all this fucking nonsense with the virus and everything, we can come out of quarantine. How long is it going to take before pro wrestling picks up momentum again? Because it is so like AEW is doing a good job and I feel like WWE is getting better. And I know that the talent on both rosters are putting in their F like all their effort. And so I respect that and I appreciate that. So I don't mean any disrespect.
00:46:13
Speaker
It's just hard for me to get into pro wrestling without the crowd and the circumstances or whatever. Plus it's just depressing out there, but is it gonna take time for people, like what are those first shows gonna be like when they come back? Are they just gonna be fucking wild? Are you kidding me? It's gonna be goddamn WrestleMania every show. The first wrestling show I get to attend after all this bullshit is gonna be the best wrestling show I have ever seen in my whole life.
00:46:43
Speaker
It's just gonna be white claws and shank murder left and right. I'm gonna be the one shank in the crowd and be like, disrespect, motherfuckers. Social distancing, you piece of shit. Six feet. I don't care if it's been lifted. If you were six feet away, you wouldn't have gotten fucking stabbed. I was just cheering and joining my white claw.
00:47:09
Speaker
Well just speaking have you drank both of your white claws that you started the show with they're gone All right, you didn't get to hear the second one open because the first one was open before the the mics were turned on What did you think about that main event tag match then? Ah I thought it was pretty good
00:47:29
Speaker
That is a callback to the fucking Phobros, which is now my new thing that I do with my roommate. He'll eat something and I'll ask him how it was, and the expectation is that every time I need to hear, it's pretty good.
00:47:45
Speaker
Honestly, the match, the two things I walked away from Dynamite remembering were the Jericho promo on Van Gogh. How are we gonna leave that out? And the opening match. Those were really the two main things that I walked away with. The main event, I remember being fine. I don't remember a lot about it though. Other than the coffin drop? Other than a coffin drop.
00:48:10
Speaker
and Darby Allen climbing the pole, and I guess that was the coffin drop. That's what I was talking about, son of a bitch. Disrespect!
00:48:20
Speaker
Can that be a running joke for the next year? Is this any time one of us gets a little out of line or insinuates the other's dumb? Disrespect! Just nine times with a fucking broken Wolverine claw. Fucking Ed Rooney. Nine times? Nine times. That was a Ferris Bueller's Day Off reference.
00:48:51
Speaker
Yeah, no, let's talk about the fucking Jericho is the goat. Is it even up for debate now? No, he's the best ever. And yeah, that's it. That's just all there is to it. He's the best Jericho Ric Flair Hogan. Um, he cut a promo on a fucking drone wearing a t-shirt. Say that again. Chris Jericho from his backyard,
00:49:20
Speaker
with a bottle of champagne, cut a promo on a drone that was wearing an inner circle t-shirt. Okay, so really to start it off, the first thing he did was pour a glass of champagne and then take a drink out of the bottle. The glass is there for show. The bottle's the receptacle. He wore his pants into the hot tub
00:49:50
Speaker
Cause he can. Cause he can. And cut just a wonderful promo on a drone that like you said was wearing a t-shirt. Um, he, he offered a child size inner circle t-shirt to Vanguard one. First of all, I didn't even know they made child size inner circle shirts, but leave it to one hour tease. Yeah. Um, and then the fucking drone flew away. And what did he say?
00:50:19
Speaker
I'm trying to assume he said, get back here, you son of a bitch. What did he say? And then he said, send that out. And yeah, it turns out Jericho has like six dogs, six, most of them little dogs, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas. I hope Jericho came up with everything in that bit and he probably did. He's a creative genius.
00:50:45
Speaker
Yeah, Jericho, you're the best. Sorry that Derek said that mean thing about you once. I know you've already... We don't need to bring that up. Jericho's not going to kill me. We're friends now. He follows you. You guys send DMs. You FaceTime on the weekends. You're both smoking cigs and drinking whiskey. Yeah. No disrespect. No disrespect. None. Think about it. We blow together. Think about if the Rock had stabbed that many people and just never gotten trouble for it.
00:51:15
Speaker
Probably could now. Oh yeah Dwayne could get away with fucking anything and we would all be like well the other guy must have really had it coming. You said
Wrestling Marathons and Content Exploration
00:51:25
Speaker
to me the other day as we were getting ready to record this you were like I hadn't watched any wrestling and then today I watched a shit ton. So what else did you watch?
00:51:33
Speaker
Oh, dude, yesterday I woke up and just started watching wrestling. I started it off with a Sue Young versus Orange Cassidy from, I believe it was a prestige wrestling in Seattle.
00:51:50
Speaker
I want to send IW TV special. Yeah, IW TV is really killing it lately because there's just so much shit on there I haven't seen. And basically you can almost come up with any two combination of people from the Indies and find what the match that you want to see. That's pretty awesome. And while I was on there, I found are you familiar with Sue Young?
00:52:12
Speaker
Yeah, we watched some of her stuff, I think. Hasn't she been in AEW? She's a demon. She was in Impact. I don't know if she was- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we did. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, I watched her versus Orange Cassidy, which was a treat because the match started with him, you know, like John Cena rolls the shirt up and throws it out in the crowd. Yeah. Orange Cassidy spent about 60 seconds trying to throw his T-shirt out of the ring, but couldn't get it over the ropes.
00:52:41
Speaker
So you have to keep going back out. He just kept picking it up and trying to throw it again, but it just wouldn't go out. And it did eventually leave the ring, never made the crowd. And at one point, uh, Aubrey Edwards was the ref in this one, which was exciting. And, uh, Orange Cassidy eventually got possessed by Sue Young. Isn't that, doesn't it normally work the other way around?
00:53:05
Speaker
where like he could put his glasses on her and change her. Like he came out and like all of her tattered clothes and everything after he got possessed. And while he was doing the rolls, I had never seen, you know, like when somebody's running around the ring trying to catch him and he just was rolling back and forth. She disappeared completely. So he rolled to the other side and there was just no one there and he had to look around the arena for her.
00:53:31
Speaker
That's wild. Let's see, from there, I watched a ton of shit. I moved on to Priscilla Kelly versus thick mama pump Jordan Grace. And she wanted to do a handshake beforehand, but Priscilla Kelly reached into her pants and did a lot of vagina rubbing and then went to shake her hand. So I like that that's Priscilla Kelly's thing now is just... I rub my pussy and touch it and offer tampons. Well, yeah. Yeah.
00:53:58
Speaker
She's basically, I like that we have a whole section of wrestlers that would fit into a John Waters movie. I feel like Effie and Priscilla Kelly would both fit in just quite nicely over there.
00:54:14
Speaker
And then I kinda just got on a, I fell down a rabbit hole if I watched Stephanie in Triple H versus Ronda Rousey versus Kurt Angle at Mania. Turns out Ronda Rousey great at wrestling. I just went- Not around anymore. Not around anymore. And I kind of went back and was watching some of her matches and I ended up watching all of the money in the bank that you and I attended. You watched the whole pay-per-view? Watched the entire pay-per-view. So a couple years later, how does that hold up?
00:54:42
Speaker
Well, do you remember when we saw Bobby Lashley versus Sami Zayn? I do. I barely remembered that that was a match on the card. I remember it because it was the last match Sami had before we disappeared with injury for a long time. We also saw Roman Reigns versus Jinder Mahal. And we saw Elias versus Seth Rollins. And what was it?
00:55:05
Speaker
Fucking Big Cass's last match. I assume it was the Roman Reigns match where you got the nachos with the pile of jalapenos. I can't remember what match I decided to do that during. But that's as good a guess as anything. So I kind of came up with a match that I think you and I should watch for next week.
00:55:24
Speaker
Okay. So I went on IWTV and kind of fell down a rabbit hole of this David Starr versus Joey Janela rivalry. The rivalry went from April 24th, 2016 up until 2019. And it was just, they have the entire series on there so you can catch up on everything.
00:55:48
Speaker
like 17 separate videos of over the years, them just interrupting each other's matches and fucking with each other until they did an hour-long Iron Man match.
00:56:00
Speaker
And I just like that. And this happened in 2019? Yeah, the Iron Man match happened in 2019, but the setup for it happened in April 2016. And they freaked- That's long-term booking. They for three years feuded until they did it. I was watching where David Starr had a match with Nick Gage and he interrupted. It's weird watching David Starr go through barbed wire, by the way.
00:56:24
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. But he's the kind of guy that would take that kind of bump. And it sounds like that's partially what is in the 60 man Iron Man 60 minute Iron Man match. So 60 man Iron Man 60 man in World War Three for an hour. Disrespect is rampant. Disrespect. Disrespect.
00:56:49
Speaker
But yeah, no, I started falling down that rabbit hole and I really like that there is indie wrestling where a story carried over multiple promotions for multiple years and had a payoff. So I think it'd be cool if we checked out this Iron Man match, which I keep hearing is very good. I'd be down for that.
00:57:07
Speaker
I'll, uh, look, Lord knows you've got the time, Garrett. Good Lord. Do I have the time? And since I have so much time, I want to send a special shout out to DC universe app. That, that shit saved me this last week, Derek. Why did it save you? I was bored as hell. Garrett, you've got animal crossing. You've got wrestling.
00:57:30
Speaker
You've got the Ghostbusters video game, which I'm gonna presume you still haven't beat. Well, I'm close, I think. Are you? I don't know. Yeah. It's hard to see. I don't wanna hear this here board shit. You got stuff to work on, my friend. There's stuff to do, but when you're... I wanna go outside and play, Derek, and that's not a sentence I've ever said in my entire life.
00:57:50
Speaker
I want to let everyone listening to this, I want to let them know that over the years I have heard Garrett frequently refer to himself as an indoor boy. Derek sometimes likes to go out and go on walks and go camping and go do sporting things. Garrett, not so much. Garrett likes to be inside and watch movies.
00:58:17
Speaker
Maybe have a, uh, maybe have a couple tootsies, a couple tootsies, you know, the fruit juice, like, like the vanilla fruity tooties. Yeah. Fruity tooties. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. I'd have a couple of those. I just had to make sure we were talking about the same thing. Maybe I'm sorry. Maybe have some pumpkin pie. You're describing things I love, but now, but now Garrett wants to be outside plane.
00:58:45
Speaker
Well, right now I can see the grass. The sun is shining, but fucking coronavirus is out there. You just can't be next to people. You can go play. You can go throw a ball up and catch it.
00:58:57
Speaker
You
Kylie Rae's Career Path
00:58:58
Speaker
can go, do you have like one of those old Kush launchers? You mean like Rosie O'Donnell had? Yeah, like a Kush ball launcher? You sound sad. I got some good news for you though. I texted you about this, isn't it? The big news, local girl, local female wrestler Kylie Rae. Good for her. We were just talking about this a few weeks ago when you were here.
00:59:26
Speaker
Um, Kylie Rae has signed a deal with impact wrestling. That's exciting. Good for her. That's a really good women's roster. I know Ethan Page wrestles there. So maybe that there was like some fertile ground for a deal to get done there. It just makes you wonder what really happened. What then fell through with AEW.
00:59:49
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know, I don't, I really don't believe that it was, she just wasn't ready yet because it hasn't been that long and she's just so good. If she wasn't ready, I mean, if it was a matter, it can't be a matter of her doubting herself, right? Cause I don't know. I know that I got that news and it made me happy. And then it kind of was like, Oh, I don't watch what, what's the outdoor network or whatever the impact is on?
01:00:19
Speaker
I can't remember what we said was the joke one and what the actual one was. I can't remember if the pioneer network is something I hear network sounds about right. Did we make that up? Maybe that's the actual name. I don't know. It was just some outdoor channel. That's where impact is. So sorry if you're listening to this podcast and you're a big fan of impact wrestling that you got to admit they put their show on a weird fucking channel.
01:00:43
Speaker
even worse than pop TV. Even right now, Kylie Ray's like, oh, I get it guys, no disrespect. Well, just congrats to Kylie Ray. She definitely earned that deal and excited for her to be making bigger money.
01:01:02
Speaker
Well, Derek, I think it's we've been here about an hour. And honestly, there's not a lot of wrestling left to talk about other than everything we've never seen. We've been here for about an hour talking about the things that we have watched, the things we've been doing. But what we haven't done in this hour is plug our fucking social media and how they can help us out. So, Garrett, why don't you go ahead and do that, buddy?
01:01:22
Speaker
We are at pre-determined podcast on Instagram. We are at Wrestle Hangout on Twitter and Facebook. I am at guard Ted on social media. Derek is at Halloween helping. Leave us a five star review on iTunes. We will talk about anything you want and strange dabs. Don't worry. I'm editing the episode right now that not right now as we're recording this episode, but I started editing your watch along request and that's going to be coming out here in the next couple of days.
01:01:51
Speaker
I'm excited to watch the 60 minute Iron Man match. I think it's going to be pretty good. We should probably pick out a couple other things because honestly, at this point, we can go back into the in time and watch any number of pro wrestling. We'll also be able to review this awesome two day mania. I can't wait. I other than the fact that Roman Reigns isn't there. This I Roman Reigns versus Goldberg was my selling point.
01:02:15
Speaker
And that's gone. It's gone. It's dead, Derek. You know what's not dead? What? Me playing Animal Crossing for the next four hours. I thought you were going to say, you know what's not dead? Our goddamn music.