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Why Have Kids? - FF E16
18 Plays22 days ago
Why should we have kids? What are the benefits? Is there a good reason? Should the ability to afford children be a factor in that decision? What is the best way to save the world? Our dads discuss their own children and the blessings (and work) which come from welcoming a house full of little blessings. As always, we hope God will bless you beyond all that you can ask or imagine!
Email us: Dads@PreacherDad.com
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Transcript
Introduction to Preacher Dad Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello everybody, welcome to the Preacher Dad Podcast. I'm Jared, and you've found the coziest little corner of the internet with just a few people here, nice and comfortable, we're going talk about today, kids.
Joy of Having Children
00:00:13
Speaker
Why should you have kids? I'm definitely supporter of children, and supporter of having lots of them, because I have eight. But I hope that you'll stick around as we discuss some of the blessings that kids have brought to our lives and just the joy that we have as
Fatherhood Friday & Sponsorship
00:00:29
Speaker
fathers.
00:00:29
Speaker
My fatherhood friends are here for Fatherhood Friday, and I hope that you'll stick around and enjoy this excellent and important conversation about why we should have children and what the blessings are.
00:00:42
Speaker
So I hope that you'll stick around and i hope that you'll also check out cornerstonefellowship-ga.org to check out the sponsor of this podcast, Cornerstone Fellowship, a small little country church in the middle of nowhere, Georgia.
00:00:57
Speaker
All right, let's start Fatherhood Friday. Thanks for checking us out.
Meet the Co-hosts
00:01:10
Speaker
Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to Fatherhood Friday. You've found the Preacher Dad Podcast. I'm Jared, and I'm the host of this cozy little corner in the internet. And I'm here with my fatherhood friends, Mr. Matt Stewart and Mr. Nathan Eisner.
00:01:25
Speaker
Tony Russell couldn't make it today, but we are excited to talk to you today about children. I personally have eight children, and Matt has six.
00:01:38
Speaker
Is that right? as of A few weeks ago. Yep. Right. ah Newest little baby girl was born just a couple weeks ago. Yeah. That's exciting. She was born at 10.02 on 10.02. Nice. But she did not weigh 10 pounds and two ounces, thankfully.
00:01:58
Speaker
Praise the Lord for that.
Fatherhood and Biblical Principles
00:01:59
Speaker
Yeah. I know your wife is going to thank the Lord. But Nate has two ah young children, right? Yeah. Two little girls. Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:08
Speaker
That is just so awesome. and i And know that, you know, children are important in our lives and ah a big part of who we are and a big part of this podcast, really, because, you know, this is Fatherhood Friday because we're really speaking to dads out there. And we have a few
Countercultural Views on Parenting
00:02:27
Speaker
moms that listen. But, um you know, from our fatherhood perspective, we're trying to apply the Bible to our life, our journey as dads.
00:02:39
Speaker
And we wanted to talk tonight ah to just start off your weekend talking a little bit about why have children? Why should you have children?
00:02:50
Speaker
I love what Charlie Kirk said many times. He said, you should get married and have more children than you can afford. and i think that is just a really good countercultural message that a lot of people need to hear today because so often what do we hear when we talk about children?
00:03:09
Speaker
well, you know, i just can't afford that many or ah want to make sure that our our life is stable and we can afford more children before we have more. And i can appreciate the the prudence in that statement, but I think oftentimes it is a cop-out for people that are too afraid for the responsibility that comes with having children.
00:03:35
Speaker
And they don't want to ah sacrifice their own personal career goals or life goals or you know the selfish way that they want to live. And they wouldn't say it's selfish, but it really is because they know that children inhibit that.
00:03:54
Speaker
And some people don't have children at all um because they want to go where they want to go and they don't want the the hindrance and the tying down that that children bring to their life.
00:04:08
Speaker
And that really is, you know, I believe an unbiblical way to think because Jesus said, take up your cross daily and follow me. And what he was saying is to die
Choosing Not to Have Children
00:04:19
Speaker
to yourself. He said, whosoever shall save his life shall lose it.
00:04:23
Speaker
But whoever whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall save it or find it. And the word he uses for life there is the Greek word zoe, And that is not the Greek word for our physical life.
00:04:39
Speaker
He's not talking about laying down our physical life like we would take a bullet for somebody. He's talking about laying down our mind, our will, and our emotions, which is the soul part of our life.
00:04:51
Speaker
and See, Greek was great because Greek, you know, you could talk about so many different specific things like with specific words. Yeah, but, um, but, uh, you know, in English, we translate bios as life and Zoe as life and psyche as life.
00:05:08
Speaker
Well, psyche more like soul, but the point here is that Jesus wants us to lay down our life for his sake and leaving a legacy for our descendants is a very important part of what the way God has designed humans to work.
Financial Excuses and Biblical Commands
00:05:26
Speaker
We just function naturally that way. In in fact, it's it's It's okay not to have children. I mean, you know, there's plenty of godly people. I know so some very sweet godly ladies in my life never had a child, never even got married.
00:05:41
Speaker
But they are so wise and wonderful people. But that is definitely the exception. God does not have celibacy as the norm. It is the exception. The norm is to get married and have children.
00:05:54
Speaker
And that is the biblical standard that's even mandated in Genesis when he said, be fruitful and multiply. one soarian So Jared, so yeah so it's it's sin.
00:06:04
Speaker
You're saying it's sin then if someone chooses, if they're selfish and i just want to, and and they think of kids as a hindrance, that's being sinful, right? Yeah.
00:06:15
Speaker
I think I would go that far to say if it's based out of, well, I want what I want and I'm going to live my life and no child is going to hold me back. That is an unbiblical way to approach it.
00:06:28
Speaker
And right I think that is sinful to be so selfish, to be so me centered. Now, if you choose not to have children because of, you know, medical reasons, you know, i know that, um you know, sometimes women have very hard pregnancies and Matt, I know you and May,
00:06:48
Speaker
had some real struggles and, you know, a couple of times may almost died. and it's like, I'm not sure I'm having more babies. Not, not quite, but it it was, white I mean, it was scary.
00:07:00
Speaker
A little bit scary at times. Yeah. Okay. Why? I, I, I, I'm sorry for exaggerating that. You know, there are situations where, uh, you know, a mom's life is literally at stake if she are to have more children.
00:07:14
Speaker
And we went through a situation where we had to say, Hey, look, Are we going to actually stop this? Are we going to keep going? So there's ah there's a reason and there's a time to say, no, we're not going to have children. So I'm not one of those that says you should never, never, never stop and never make the decision to stop.
00:07:30
Speaker
I think there are godly reasons to stop having children intentionally. But I think that it is a it is a sinful way to live to say, I want me, me, me, mine,
00:07:45
Speaker
and I'm not going to have children because it would keep me from all the vacations I want to take. Or, you know, I just can't afford it. Well, you're defined some people define affording children as, well, I can't pay for college and pay for their first car when they're 15.
00:08:00
Speaker
And I can't, you know, give them absolutely every material thing that they would ever want. Therefore, I can't afford children. No, I'm sorry. That's a cop out. You can't afford the child. You just don't want the child because you don't want the responsibility of the child.
00:08:14
Speaker
And I know that I may be stepping on some toes out there, but the facts of the matter is that the Bible says be fruitful and multiply. The Bible says children are a blessing from the Lord.
00:08:25
Speaker
If God came down and said, hey, I want to give you a million dollars, which of you guys would say, nope, sorry. No, I don't want a million dollars. Thanks, Lord. I got enough. I can't afford the headaches that come with a million dollars.
00:08:37
Speaker
No, we wouldn't say that. We'd say, thank you, Jesus, a million dollars.
Raising Children in Faith
00:08:41
Speaker
Hallelujah. My whole life is different. I mean, I'm poor enough that I'd be like, yay, I must be living right. You know, I'd be so excited.
00:08:51
Speaker
I would say, thank you, thank you, thank you. Now ask yourself this question. What's more valuable, a million dollars or a baby? You would never take a million dollars for a baby.
00:09:01
Speaker
You never sell a baby for a million dollars. Nobody could give me any amount of money for any of my children. So if God comes to you and says, hey, I want to give you a baby.
00:09:13
Speaker
you going to say, oh, no, thank you, Jesus. I don't want to have any, and I don't want to have a blessing that great. No, we need to start thinking differently as as Christians about children. Why should we have children? Because if we really want to change the world, if we really want to change the future and have an impact, that is the most effective way to do it.
00:09:33
Speaker
my You know, sometimes I think to myself about, you know, i want to make a difference in the future. i want to make a difference for the world. And I know there's a lot of some of my contemporaries people in my generation that would say the same. I want to make a difference for the future.
00:09:50
Speaker
The most effective way to do that is to teach your children to follow Jesus and teach them to teach their children to follow Jesus. And now you're having an impact way after you're dead in a much more, much more significant way.
00:10:04
Speaker
You're never going to have a disciple that you impact more than you would impact the disciples that sit around your table every
Prioritizing Family Over Career
00:10:12
Speaker
night. that look up to you and say, hey, daddy, I want to be like you one day.
00:10:17
Speaker
That is a very powerful discipleship moment that a lot of dads miss because they're too focused on perfecting the golf swing or getting the new Xbox system or you know, making sure that they make softball practice or they're on the church basketball team or or even things like, well, you know, I got to make sure I teach Sunday school.
00:10:41
Speaker
Wait a minute. If you're sacrificing the discipleship of your family so that you can disciple other people's families, you're wrong. You've got things out of order. The Bible also talks about that.
00:10:52
Speaker
It says that if a man does not care for the needs of his own household, he is worse than an infidel. He is worse than an unbeliever in the Bible's eyes, in God's eyes.
00:11:05
Speaker
We are worse than unbelievers. if we do not see to the needs of our home. And that is not just talking about making sure we got Cheerios in the cabinet and steaks on Saturday night.
00:11:16
Speaker
That's talking about the spiritual needs of your family as well. We as as fathers and mothers too have a responsibility here, need to see to the spiritual needs of our home.
00:11:27
Speaker
But why should we have kids? Well, because it's the best opportunity we have to advance the gospel to proclaim the truth in the world is by teaching our kids to follow Jesus. That's the most effective thing we can do. And everything else kind of comes after that. But, you know, my relationship with my wife is the most important relationship I have next to Christ.
00:11:48
Speaker
And our relationship to our children is after that. and And my relationship to the church, to my my boss, my work, everything else has to kind of be secondary to those top priorities. I tell people all the time,
00:12:02
Speaker
because I'm a pastor, bivocational pastor, and I tell people a lot, my first flock is my family. That's my first responsibility. I'm not sacrificing them in order to make sure that um you know i do all every single ounce of responsibility that the church would would expect of me. Now, my church is great. They really don't expect an overabundant amount of stuff from me because they understand that I have a lot going on with eight children And another full-time job in addition to pastoring the church. So there's a lot on my plate.
00:12:37
Speaker
But, you know, the fact is that there's a lot of pastors out there who are expected to sacrifice absolutely everything for the sake of the church, this local body of believers. And that includes their children. And sometimes they do. And to their great discredit, they sacrifice the strengthening of their children, time with their children in order to spend time with um someone else's children.
00:13:03
Speaker
And that's that's just that's not the way we ought to approach this. So, you know, I feel like i feel like people, generally speaking, don't have as many children as they ought to. and And that's not because of, you know, the medical reasons and things that we've discussed, but it's mostly because they're they're afraid of the responsibility of having
Time with Children and Birth Rates
00:13:25
Speaker
children. They're afraid of that self-sacrificial life.
00:13:29
Speaker
And so I think it's important for us to stop and consider what what children mean to us and to the world. They are the future. They are so important and so valuable.
00:13:42
Speaker
And, you know, I know there's plenty of guys out there that look at the end, they get to the end of their life and they're so successful in the world and they say, man I wish I would have spent more time with my kids.
00:13:55
Speaker
yeah When they say, Billy Graham said that. yeah I mean, come on. if If you know it's easy to do, and so we got to make sure we make time for them because nobody else gets to the end of their life. I've never heard of anybody that got to the end of their life and said, man, I wish I spent more time at the office.
00:14:13
Speaker
I spent too much time with my kids. No, nobody ever says that.
00:14:19
Speaker
Yeah. So yeah anyway, what do you guys think? What are your thoughts about children and raising children? yeah So many, so many good things. but Go ahead, Matt. Yeah, I've got several things to I've got some questions I'd like for you to answer to Jared, since you have the most. But before that, I got an email today that was talking about the American birth rate and how it at 1.6. It's 60 year low. And the it's a sixty year low and
00:14:52
Speaker
the the number of adults age 65 and older forecasted to hit 82 million by 2050. And so it's just an older ah population.
00:15:04
Speaker
So I think, right, so if there if if we're not even replacing the number of people we have, but yet we're having a lot of Christian kids, right, a lot of kids, and hopefully we'll be Christians, um that's just the that's a big opportunity for us to make a difference in this land.
00:15:25
Speaker
And kind of going along with that, I was thinking, this is a while back, but I was thinking about us four doing this podcast. And I said, let's say we have a combined 21 kids, 14 for me and you, Jared, Tony, he's got three, 17, Nate, you can get four.
00:15:48
Speaker
you can you can get four I think we're but we're we're aiming for at least four. So okay so that's 21. I don't know when that's going to happen, but, you know, it does. So let's say that those kids, those kids have four each.
00:16:03
Speaker
Which is probably four, probably for our kids, you know, probably pretty close. That's a take. And you take that back to um our great, great, great, great. So four or five generations, about six generations back.
00:16:20
Speaker
Um, five greats, 21,504 descendants. And that's just out of our four families.
00:16:31
Speaker
Yeah. You think about that, like, and so the 21,504 is more than four counties in Virginia combined. More people. Wow.
00:16:42
Speaker
So in however many hundred years or so, we could, we could occupy over four counties in Virginia. um And that's four families. So think about how many are in Virginia alone.
00:16:55
Speaker
I don't know. How many families are in Virginia? That think like us, that are having lots of kids. I mean, it's hundreds, hundreds, right? Yeah, yeah, sure. And so that's just, we with the with the low birth rate and everything, I think we have a really good opportunity to to make a difference in the future.
00:17:12
Speaker
Yeah.
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00:17:13
Speaker
And, you know, withden the more times you can multiply yourself... Not that your kid's always going to think exactly like you. I don't think exactly like my dad, I don't think. um you know But for the most part, if you teach them to follow Jesus, you're ah way further down the road as far as giving them you know the right the right stepping stones towards you know a free society and a biblical worldview and things like that that are that are important to us and important to, I think, a lot of people that are
00:17:46
Speaker
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Speaker
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Joy and Spirituality in Parenting
00:18:40
Speaker
So, ah think you nailed the I think you nailed it on the head. You know, the reason, because I think we're titling the episode, Why I Have Kids. And you nailed on the head. The reason is because, one, God commanded it I just read a book, which I'll recommend. It was a great book. it's called Stand Firm and Act Like Men by Pastor Joby Martin.
00:18:59
Speaker
It just came out. I listened the audio book in like three days of sped ups. Great, great book. Recommend it to anybody. But he was talking about having children because obviously part of standing firm and acting like men is being the head of your household and you know being a good head.
00:19:14
Speaker
um But he says the Hebrew – okay, you referenced the verse in Genesis where God says, be fruitful and multiply. And says, that's a great verse. And he goes, let me translate it He says, that verse is basically Hebrew for bow, chicka, bow, wow.
00:19:29
Speaker
So go ahead and follow the God's command.
00:19:36
Speaker
but so obviously, number one, God says to you, and number two is the best way to advance the kingdom. But I have a question, Jared. Okay. What in your personal life, so thinking selfishly for a second,
00:19:51
Speaker
Why would you say it's important to have kids for your own gain, for your own enjoyment? How have your children been a blessing to you and your wife as an individual? So obviously we want to spread the gospel and that's a great way to do it, but children are also a blessing to us.
00:20:07
Speaker
And so how have your children been a blessing to you? Oh, goodness gracious. We don't have enough time. We don't have enough for me to tell you. I'll try to pick a couple. um There's a certain degree of ah pride and satisfaction that comes to you when your children and say these incredibly wise things um and just have this amazing insight and you're going, wow, that's so awesome.
00:20:34
Speaker
I mean, you know, ah my older children are so helpful around our our property and on our our homestead. We could, I don't think we could get done anywhere close to what we're doing.
00:20:48
Speaker
if it weren't for their help and their assistance and and they cheerfully do it. They're not, they're not, I mean, certainly there's times when it's like, get out in there and do your chores and I don't want to do my chores and I don't care what you want, go do it anyway.
00:21:01
Speaker
But by and large, they are helping because they understand the importance of what we're doing and they understand the importance of being part of the family unit and being a team and joining forces.
00:21:15
Speaker
And, you know, my children make me laugh and they keep me young and they just are just some of the most interesting. It's so it's so fascinating to watch them grow up and to see them, you know, gain understanding about something or or to see the hilarious ways that they look at things.
00:21:35
Speaker
I tell you, just the other day at ah Bible study on Wednesday night, ah we take our older children to Bible study. The adult Bible study, we we kind of call our children up to adulthood.
00:21:47
Speaker
We don't really believe in this middle ground between childhood and adulthood called adolescence. We think you're a child and then you're an adult. Now you might be a young adult, you might be an immature adult, you might still be learning some things, but you're still expected to behave in an adult world with adult topics. That's in the book too.
00:22:10
Speaker
I'm liking this book even better every time. But lot this is yeah, well, I was going to share the story that at Bible study, my 17 year old son ah said something about the story of Joseph that I had never thought about in my life.
00:22:28
Speaker
He said that the the it says right there in in the the part where Joseph's brothers are bowing down to him, it says Joseph remembered the dream.
00:22:39
Speaker
That is such a key verse. But that dream had those 12 brothers bowing down to him. But do you remember the symbolism in the dream for the brothers? Do you guys remember?
00:22:52
Speaker
It was stalks of grain. It was stalks of grain. And these brothers are now coming to get grain and bowing down to Joseph. I had never thought of that. Guys, this is what I did.
00:23:05
Speaker
When he said that, I went, my mouth dropped open. And I was like, I have never, ever thought of that connection, but he made it for me. So it's just things like that all the time, every single day.
00:23:19
Speaker
Like it's just so hard for me to express verbally the deep satisfaction and joy and blessing that come to my life on a daily basis because of my children. Now,
00:23:33
Speaker
They also provide an incredible amount of work to my life. they I am overwhelmed many days and there's incredible chaos ah more times than not, more than I want.
00:23:45
Speaker
But I tell you, I wouldn't trade a drop of that chaos. for if If I have to endure all of that chaos in order to have those kids, I'd do it a thousand times. I'd do it million times over because there's no way that I can tell you.
00:23:59
Speaker
and And people oftentimes, you know, that I tell them I have eight kids and they go, eight kids. I mean, I'm crazy. That's nothing. I mean, I'm the oldest of 10 kids. Come on. It's not big deal, but they, they go nuts and they say all the same sort of jokes. Like, don't you have TV and stuff like that? And yeah, it's funny, but ah you know, a lot of times i will tell people this, I'll say, look, you have how many children? One, two, how many? Yeah.
00:24:25
Speaker
I said, do they cause a great deal of work in your life? They're like, oh yeah. And then I say, but do they cause a great deal of blessing? And joy? oh yeah, that's for sure.
00:24:37
Speaker
I said, so would you give them back? They always say, no, I would never give my kids back. same Same is true for me. Eight? Yeah, lots more work, but lots more blessing in addition to that.
00:24:48
Speaker
Sorry, that was a long answer to your question. no it's good okay i know you I know you're going to comment in on that, Nate, but I'll just say one, two, that's the obvious thing. Who doesn't like being hugged and kissed and saying, daddy, I love you?
00:25:02
Speaker
Like, ah yeah We need that. The more, the better. like you know Oh, yeah yeah. Go ahead, Nathan.
Lessons and Faith from Children
00:25:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah. blue Yeah, I mean, I agree with all of that.
00:25:12
Speaker
Yeah, i don't know i know I don't remember what I was going to say earlier, but yeah, I agree with all that completely. um You know, one of these days, this is apropos, this is appropriate to what we're talking about. One of these days, I'm going to write an article or a book, maybe a book, and the title is going to be Have Sex and Save the World.
00:25:32
Speaker
I mean, this is awesome, guys. You get to have a bunch of sex, make a bunch of kids, and you're saving the world at the same time. and this This is a win-win. Why is this a problem? Yeah. Remember that Hebrew.
00:25:46
Speaker
Remember that Hebrew.
00:25:50
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I agree completely. Like, that that's my kids, man. and And like you said earlier, obviously your your relationship with your wife is is number one. That is elevated above children. And it's that's biblical.
00:26:04
Speaker
But man, those kids, like, you know, i could I could go down the list and spout off specifics, and but I'd say just, you know, looking at this from a selfish standpoint, like how has it affected me as an individual?
00:26:21
Speaker
um Man, countless ways. Probably ways that I won't, that I'll be realizing, you know, the rest of my life, you know, that, and I think part of that is a reason I hear to not have kids. I'm just not ready to have kids or man. I wouldn't know what to do if I had one. yeah Who does not one of us ever did.
00:26:39
Speaker
You couldn't read every book in the world and be prepared for the moment that you're holding that child for the first time. And man, it's, it's just one of those, I think God put, put instinct in every single one of us to maybe not have all the answers but to be able to figure it out as you go along and to have the wisdom to ask for help when you need it.
00:27:01
Speaker
And part of it, I think you will just, it will just come naturally. But there are so many lessons that I have learned, not just about parenting, but just about but even just my own relationship with the Lord.
00:27:12
Speaker
um You know, we were, I'm going blank it on the specific example the other day, but I was telling my oldest, I was you know, correcting her on something and it just hit me. I'm like, all right, yeah, Lord, that's how, that's how you feel about me.
00:27:25
Speaker
You know, you know, there's, you know, there's, there's ways there, um, specific ways that they're a blessing to me. I mean, we, we do Awanas at our church.
00:27:37
Speaker
We have an Awanas class and I guess every, every week they ask the kids if they have any prayer requests or even want to pray. and My oldest, her her teacher said the other week, and you guys know I've shared some stuff with you, some stuff that's been going on in Tegan and I's life recently.
00:27:55
Speaker
It's been pretty difficult emotionally. um And apparently in the class, my four-year-old's hand shot up when they asked if they had any prayer requests. And she said, i just want to pray that my mama and daddy would not cry so much and that they would, um that God would give them direction and that they would make the right choice.
00:28:16
Speaker
And then the faith of a child, you know, she's heard y'all praying. She has, but that, that right there, man, like, you know, we know our parents pray for us. We know our grandparents pray for us. And, you know, we can ask brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for us, but to, to know that without even telling her, without prompting her, that's in her heart, she wants to pray for her mama and daddy.
00:28:41
Speaker
And, you know, the faith that they, that she has to, to to pray something like that is just immensely encouraging. And, um, that that's, you know, man, that's just something that you, you'll never know how that feels until it's standing in front of you.
00:28:59
Speaker
Um, I can go on and on and on about more specifics. You know, like you said, Jared, I agree with everything you said. They make me laugh.
Challenges of Large Families
00:29:06
Speaker
They make me cry. My girls make me cry all the time. They do. Yeah.
00:29:10
Speaker
Oh yeah. I mean, I'll be cool forever. I'm sure they will forever. I wasn't joking about that on Sunday. the guy in our church, his daughter just got married last weekend or two weekends ago. he was like, I was crying the whole, the whole day, you you know, the whole week up into it. and he goes, and once we got to the ceremony, I was just, so something came over me and I was good. Like I had the, book and I'm like, man, dude, ah I'm already crying about my girls getting married.
00:29:35
Speaker
yeah I'm going to be a wreck when that day comes. So. So if I can, make a few comments and um ask you a question, Jared, as well, because I know people are, there are probably people listening, but like, yeah, I get the whole blessing thing. Yeah, I know that, I know they're going to be wonderful and they're going to make me laugh and whatever, but, but they still got some reservations, right?
00:29:57
Speaker
um And I was just trying to think about in my life, like what have been some of my, I mean, well, I'm still having kids, you know had six kids, so I didn't stop, but what did kind of concern me along the way And one was, um you have so many, like, can you spend enough time with them?
00:30:16
Speaker
Right? Like you don't want to neglect, you don't want to neglect neglect one because you have six other ones or seven other ones, you know, you need to be able to spend enough time with each one of them.
00:30:27
Speaker
um So that's one thing I want you to comment on, Jared, since you have the most and your kids are older as far as like, how do you, how do you do it? How do you spend the time? And then also, And you hit on it a little bit earlier, but like we, I think it's, I agree with you. Like you shouldn't say, well, we don't have enough money to have a kid. Like that's stupid. You just have children.
00:30:48
Speaker
but But how do you know, like when to stop? If you are having children and you're starting, like you're struggling financially, like do you still trust the Lord and keep having children? Or like, what what do you do about that? Because you got it he's given us a brain for a reason, right? Right.
00:31:03
Speaker
You know, so. So what do we do? So speak speak on those two if you don't mind, spending time with them in the and the financial part of it. Okay. ah Well, as far as spending time with them, my wife had a great idea that we have implemented since they were really little, and that is called a daddy date.
00:31:22
Speaker
And um we ah each child gets their own week. and So on their week, you know if I've got to run to the hardware store,
00:31:33
Speaker
I take who's every week it is. If I got to run an errand, they get to come. If we're out at a family event, we have two vehicles and daddy's going to drive a car home. Everybody wants to go with daddy, but whoever's week it is gets the primary consideration in that they definitely will get to go if they want to go.
00:31:50
Speaker
And there's always a specific time when it's like, okay, this is your opportunity to go with daddy somewhere. And right now we go and we change the sign at the church and then I go get him a treat or something. And that's just,
00:32:03
Speaker
their specific focus time. I think that if you have specific focus time with each child, even if it's just once a week, that child grabs a hold of that moment and says, this is my moment with my dad.
00:32:16
Speaker
I remember having those moments with my dad and they were not planned and they were not regular, but I still remember having a moment with my dad where we would just run to the store, get an errand. You know, we'd go, he'd say, let's go get a pop. You know, hed go get something to drink or something.
00:32:33
Speaker
You know, yeah, that's what you work I forgot you were born up north. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. I was up a Midwesterner. So that's what we call it in the Midwest is pop.
00:32:45
Speaker
um It's really interesting, the different things that people call the sodas. But anyway, so, you know, there's just, I think there's ways to make that happen and creative ways to to do it.
00:32:55
Speaker
My mom and dad had 10 children and I never felt like I was starving for attention from them. I felt like, they were invested in me and in us.
00:33:06
Speaker
And, and if I wanted some time with them, I would go ask for it or they would come and, you know, sit down and talk to me. Certainly if there's things I needed to, you know, character issues they needed to address, but even just fellowship time together, there was a good bit of that.
00:33:23
Speaker
Uh, even with 10 children. So, you know, I've never really heard big families say, cause I know, I've, I know several folks that have big families, families, I never really heard them say that much.
00:33:35
Speaker
Well, mom and dad just didn't have time for me because I was one of the younger ones. I mean, maybe I should ask my younger siblings if that's how they feel, but I don't think that's too, too great a concern, at least not in the big families that I'm a part of or that I am aware of that as long as you are intentional about it and you take time.
Financial Faith and Provision
00:33:54
Speaker
The other thing about finances, I think that there, there could be a time when you say, Hey, financially speaking, we just cannot afford this. We need to make sure that we don't have a child.
00:34:06
Speaker
And then sometimes God overrules that and said, ah surprise, here's a baby. ah you know, and you just, you roll with that and you deal with it. Um, I think there could be a situation where, ah you know, you look at your finances and you say, we are barely scraping by and it's just foolish and irresponsible for us to have a child right now.
00:34:27
Speaker
Um, There could be a situation like that, but I'll be honest with you. I think that's more rare than we think. And like i was saying before, we we imagine what the expense of a child would be.
00:34:40
Speaker
And we don't think about, I think we exaggerate that expense because we're more likely to be afraid of the responsibility that comes with it or the the hindrance to what I want to do or accomplish.
00:34:55
Speaker
And so we use the financial side of it as an excuse. I think it's possible, and there certainly probably would be a situation where you would look at your finances and say, we shouldn't do this.
00:35:06
Speaker
But I don't think that's that common. I think that kind of like I said at the beginning, ah the the way Charlie was communicating that to the world, have more than you can afford.
00:35:17
Speaker
Because i believe that God pays for what he does. And if God gives you a child, he will make sure to provide for that. you know We were talking about vans.
00:35:29
Speaker
ah off air. And you know I've been the recipient many, many times of either a free vehicle or an incredible deal or one thing after another, God somehow provides vehicles for my family.
00:35:43
Speaker
And I think that is just evidence of the fact that God has given us these children we've welcomed them and embraced them and rejoiced in them. And I think that God honors that by saying, I'm going to make sure that you're provided for.
00:35:58
Speaker
We've always been provided for, even though things are tight and it's not easy. And God still provides for and pays for the things he does. You know, God isn't going to leave us with the bill.
00:36:11
Speaker
Here's five children. And by the way, you're going to be broken. They're going to starve to death. God doesn't do things like that. I think he, the Bible says, I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his children begging bread.
00:36:23
Speaker
So I don't believe that my children will have to beg bread. Because if if I walk righteously with the Lord, now, if I turn my back on God, that could bring consequences to my family, including financial, physical consequences.
00:36:38
Speaker
But I think in general, um the financial side of this is um is overused. I don't think it's impossible.
00:36:50
Speaker
I just think it's overused. But I also have to be willing to drive, you know, guys i drive junky beat up old vehicles and i mean i basically drive them till the wheels fall off of them and there's no life left in them at all and you know there's no hubcaps on them and there's a lot of rust on them and you know spend more money fixing the car than i do on the car itself uh whether we could we can relate okay so yeah i got a amen corner yeah yeah yeah i'm the
00:37:21
Speaker
yeah oh i' like I feel like I'm the king of old Hondas. Like if it's not early two thousands, I don't want it. Yeah. Do I have any cars to live that kind of lifestyle though?
00:37:33
Speaker
I'm trying to think if I have any cars left with an air conditioner. Um, now that is something I will pay for. I will pay to have that AC fix. Hey, we did that for two years and yeah, I've, I'm spoiled on that now.
00:37:46
Speaker
Look, it's very valuable to try to live in South Georgia. I mean, middle Georgia. Yeah. Uh, middle of the summer. Yeah. It's, it's something that you really, really need.
00:37:56
Speaker
Well, Jared, it's, it's time to to wrap this up, but I was just going to say, you know, I know we're just three dudes. There's three random Christian guys, but if you're listening, just, we're all, we would all rather be poor and have children.
00:38:14
Speaker
Right. We're, we're, we're so, it's so happy. We're so happy with those kids. absolutely And so we would encourage, everyone to make that decision. Have one more than you've got now, at least. I want to throw out just one last thing that that I did recently. I'll reference the book again, something he said to do.
00:38:35
Speaker
um there's a There's a little illustrated storybook Bible, and I feel like we've ah we've have we have more than one storybook Bible. but This one in particular is called the Jesus Storybook Bible.
00:38:48
Speaker
yeah And he said, if you don't have one, get it and just read it to your kid every day. So I've been doing that. I just happened to be at Hobby Lobby the day I read that. And there was one sitting there on the shelf. I'm like, oh, there it is. I'm going to get it. So I got it. And my daughter loves it. And if you guys don't have a ah ah Jesus storybook Bible, go ahead and get one and read it with your kids. They're they're longer stories than some of them. We we have one that you know takes you 30 seconds to read it and then
Teaching Biblical Stories to Kids
00:39:12
Speaker
it's over. These take a little bit longer. It's more like a chapter book.
00:39:14
Speaker
Yeah. and you know It's easy to for for a four-year-old to understand, boys and girls. Awesome. Theology might not be 100% correct in that book, but it's pretty close.
00:39:26
Speaker
just Maybe not. Just be careful with what you read. Be careful with your theology. and I do have it. I think we have three or three copies. but Anyway, Jared, last words? um i will I will say that ah my my one of my favorite ah parenting hacks is The Book of Virtues by William Bennett.
00:39:47
Speaker
Yeah, we got it. um That book is like magic put children to sleep. It is like sprinkling fairy dust on them and they fall asleep so fast. I could sit down and read even half a story to my kids and they're asleep so fast.
00:40:03
Speaker
it is It worked for my younger siblings when I used to read it to them. It works for my kids today. I think the book is magic. And then as soon as they fall asleep, then you can go, then you can leave the room and go to save, save the world, right?
00:40:17
Speaker
go Yes. Go save the world. Amen. Saving in the world, honey. Come here, honey. Let's go save the world. The book is called, the it's called the book of virtues by William Bennett.
00:40:31
Speaker
So you can go make disciples. That's right. So folks, thanks so much for joining us tonight. And I hope that this has started your weekend off with a laugh and with some
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:40:40
Speaker
joy. And maybe yeah maybe you'll go home and try to save the world some more.
00:40:44
Speaker
So we we appreciate you being out there. If you're out there and you've been blessed by this episode or any of our others, please hit subscribe. Please like us, rate us on whatever platform you're listening. Something. Give us give us some love.
00:41:02
Speaker
And also, if you want to get in touch with us, you can reach us at the email address dads at preacherdad.com. dot com That's dads, D-A-D-S, at preacherdad.com.
00:41:14
Speaker
And we would just love to hear from you. So thank you so much for being out there. And we will look forward to sharing more with you next time on Fatherhood Friday on the Preacher Dad Podcast.
00:41:25
Speaker
Thanks so much. Have a great night.