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Are you prepared to defend the family? (Part 2) - FF S2 E16
2 Plays3 seconds ago
How can fathers protect their families without living in fear? What practical steps can you take to become more aware, avoid danger, and respond wisely when situations turn tense?
In Part 2 of this important Fatherhood Friday conversation, the panel welcomes special guest David Lashley, an experienced law enforcement officer and courtroom bailiff, to share real world insights every dad should hear. Drawing from years of professional experience, David discusses situational awareness, recognizing potential threats before they escalate, effective de-escalation techniques, and practical ways fathers can serve as calm, confident protectors of their homes.
This episode is not about paranoia. It is about preparation, wisdom, and embracing the God given responsibility to lead and defend your family with courage and discernment.
Join the Fatherhood Friday panel as they explore what it means to be present, alert, and ready to stand in the gap for those you love.
If you enjoy content that equips Christian fathers to lead with conviction, strengthen their families, and honor God in everyday life, be sure to like, subscribe, and share this episode with another dad who could benefit from the conversation.
Email us: Dads@PreacherDad.com
Check out PreacherDad.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Sponsor Mention
00:00:09
Speaker
Well, hello everybody. Welcome to the Preacher Dad Podcast. My name is Jared and i am the Preacher Dad. And you've reached part two of our discussion with David Lashley about self-defense.
00:00:21
Speaker
And this is a very important subject. You really, dads, you got to be able to protect your families. And so we're going to dive into part two right away. First, I want to just remind you that this podcast is brought to you by Cornerstone Fellowship. Cornerstone Fellowship is that sweet little country church out in the middle of nowhere that just loves Jesus a lot. And we would love to love you and show you Jesus and point you to him.
Self-Defense Without Weapons
00:00:46
Speaker
But why don't you come on out and visit us. You can find us on the web at cornerstonefellowship-ga.org.
00:00:59
Speaker
Come on out, and we'd be happy to you just share fellowship with you. so All right, folks, let's start Fatherhood Friday, part two, with David Lashley.
00:01:14
Speaker
David, so... let's say we don't have any weapons on us, unfortunately, and somebody comes after us and we have to engage in some sort of a physical, you know, an altercation with him or whatever.
00:01:28
Speaker
um If we don't have any training of any kind, what should we do? What should we aim for? what How should we respond to a situation like that?
00:01:41
Speaker
Sure. And the three main areas that I think the focus should always be is the eyes, throat, inner point area.
00:01:53
Speaker
we We call it our center line, our primal center line area that we like to attack. So eyes is the obvious. I mean, we've all barely been touched before and you're like, eyes water for hours.
00:02:08
Speaker
So it doesn't take a lot. And the real key to it more than anything when it comes to if we're striking or hitting out or gouging out of something is remember we're we're there trying to survive we're not there to have our hands raised as the winner you know that and so when you're trying to survive you're just trying to buy time and create distance and that's a big difference than saying two guys squaring up and let's get into a fight with that and i think sometimes they get
00:02:42
Speaker
that gets confused and you know for for a lot of people but like fingers in the eyes I'm a fan of the open hand I mean I still will teach people close fist but open hand because it starts with your so your standing like hey don't want any trouble and I'm using them like trying to do we're trying to de-escalate I just put my hands up but I'm also giving boundaries we're setting a tone with it if I start with I don't want any trouble leave it now
00:03:13
Speaker
but No, I'm inviting you with that. And that might not, you know, if they didn't really want to fight, I'm now telling we need to.
00:03:24
Speaker
So I always start with the hands because then besides that, then it goes into the next. It could be, like i said, some like a finger jab to the eyes, what a little wide throat.
00:03:36
Speaker
And I hit to the groin area. If I'm looking to strike, I want hit with my hand open. Because the ideal, as I had one of the coaches, of my coaches say, the best way is they let them have your five-finger discount.
Vocalizing for Attention in Danger
00:03:53
Speaker
So when you hit in their groin, that five fingers, because we know if you've ever been hit their groin, you can get hit in the front, and it hurts, and it can it can make you feel about half nauseous.
00:04:05
Speaker
But when you get hit behind, you're on your knees. And it's a whole other day. for you. And that's the ideal behind it. So the if we, like, just thinking about fist only, that, you know, you're hitting in the front. We want we want front and back.
00:04:27
Speaker
We want it all, but preferably the back. but that and like it And it's like you said, work always the big confusion is we're not trying to fight. We're trying to survive, get the safety,
00:04:41
Speaker
and create the distance with that. And as we're doing all these things, depending on how bad it is, like when I tell people when I'm approaching like, hey, i don't want to any trouble, my awareness also, the part of awareness is as I'm doing that, my brain is scanning, my eyes are scanning what could be a weapon?
00:05:05
Speaker
What can I use to my advantage? If I can create space, can I get to, know, people at a workplace, there's a stapler, desk over. Can i create space to get to that stapler to help me be a weapon or get to a chair, stuff like that? Or can I get a barrier between us?
00:05:29
Speaker
So I'm using those three types of strikes to get something in between us to create that time, maybe to dial 911, something like that. and being very vocal and verbal.
00:05:41
Speaker
That's another thing, you know, screaming. and I've heard this so many times before over the years in court. Make sure your words mean something.
00:05:52
Speaker
If I need to bring attention to myself, yelling the words like fire, help, those get people's attention. I don't know how many times I've sat and heard like a witness go to testify,
00:06:07
Speaker
I didn't help them because I just thought it was a husband-wife arguing. I didn't want to get involved with that. And there's no questions if you yell those three words, people are going to turn and walk.
00:06:21
Speaker
Maybe they might not come to your assistance, but at least dial 911 and say, hey, there's someone yelling fire, and there's no fire, and they're screaming and yelling at one another. or there's, you know, for help or something like that.
00:06:36
Speaker
So it's drawing that attention. It's being verbal with it, trying to get that and, or just saying stop and being forceful about it, but letting people will know that you mean it and stuff.
00:06:49
Speaker
I got a little rant. Sorry. No, that's great. That's really yeah
De-Escalation Techniques
00:06:53
Speaker
good. Good stuff. David, talk for a minute about de-escalation. What are some ways that you can, you know, diffuse a situation. The Bible says a soft answer turns away wrath.
00:07:04
Speaker
So, you know, what are some ways that we can, you know, calm things down, de-escalate a situation? I think we, if we start like earlier, say with our posture, standing in like our hands straight up are confident.
00:07:21
Speaker
I think that's de-escalating at a different type of a form because it's showing that I'm I'm telling you that this is as far as I'm going to take it. It's a form of de-escalation.
00:07:33
Speaker
And then it's like, how do we say things to people? but that you know It's got to a point where I'm like, hey, can I can i help you? you know I'm just getting my hands up. Can I help you?
00:07:46
Speaker
That's not threatening to the anybody. And ah there's more respect like you'll get between it. It's like, hey, can you please just stay back there? You know, and letting them know where you want them to go.
00:07:59
Speaker
There's it's not like you're pointing your finger at them and saying, told you to stay back there. So our disposition with some of the words we say can help de-escalate things with it. And a lot of times it's like saying back what they say to you, like they're ranting about something, like a lot of towns and counties and cities, you know, there's a drug problem with a lot and the mental health.
00:08:30
Speaker
Sometimes it doesn't even make sense, but they're even wanting or yelling. and But you always get in like, I need $2 or I need food or, you know, something like that. And it just like, but replying back um in a way like bringing the question right back to them.
00:08:52
Speaker
I understand. you're hungry. So how about we we meet you down here at McDonald's, I'll meet you there in a couple minutes, I'll buy anything you want, you know, like kind of diverting it back with it and stuff like that, just like, like, I think a lot of it's just how we come across physically, deesate as much as what we start to say.
00:09:19
Speaker
And probably the worst thing you can say to anybody, and I've seen this for years, never end well, is just calm down. That doesn't make anybody calm down. Tell them just to calm down.
00:09:34
Speaker
but the and you know instead it's like, hey, can I help you with something? you know i'm just You're trying to show some understanding, but not in a way that you're like showing a weakness of some sort where they yeah can capitalize on it. That's so funny because I've told people, I don't know if these guys remember, but at Chick-fil-A sometimes, you know, if I've gotten a little frustrated or I'm talking to somebody in a little tense, tense moment and they say, calm down, man, that's the fastest way to make me angry. I'm just like, Jared, calm him down. I'll tell you how to calm down. you know, and it's like, that's not ever
Courtroom Chaos Prevention
00:10:15
Speaker
work.
00:10:15
Speaker
never has ever worked in the history of any argument ever it's like calm down oh okay i guess i will yeah that's never happened yeah oh good good stuff good stuff what's one of your uh what's one of your craziest uh courtroom stories that uh that you like to share oh i mean there's there hasn't been like As many, especially in the court that I work at, like sometimes I will get called to help out in other courts and stuff like that.
00:10:53
Speaker
trouble what um The thing with me, like I prepare so much for my day and i try to really see what's going on.
00:11:07
Speaker
If I have incident and I've had them, I feel like ive I failed that day. because I really believe there's there's some information, some questions, something I didn't prepare. Because I can talk to police officers, probation officers, counselors, victim advocates. There's so much way I can gather information to find out what could happen, how it could happen.
00:11:33
Speaker
I know the people that who don't like each other are going to be in the room with it. So I do very, I try my best in try not to let anything else and happen like that. And also all those other people in that court that day, they have a right to have their stuff heard that day.
00:11:54
Speaker
And if it's not handled right, if there's an incident, it stops. And I don't want court to stop. I could do everything I can to make sure it's a, we keep flowing and we keep things moving.
00:12:07
Speaker
But probably one of the ones is like, um, it's been a while back early on is how the courtroom set up at the end of our hallway. We had a probation staff office and we had a jury trial scheduled that morning. It was a criminal jury trial.
00:12:26
Speaker
And I could, this is like at eight o'clock, eight 15 real early. the guy failed a drug test. He knows he's going to jail. He doesn't want to go to jail. It's his kid's birthday. He's really trying to get the PO not to send them and all that.
00:12:41
Speaker
I don't remember anything else, but why what he did. um And I'm like, man, you you got to take care of this. We got jurors coming in. And it's important that jurors are very neutral.
00:12:53
Speaker
You know, I didn't want them seeing someone in handcuffs, fighting before they get there, before they're getting to a criminal case. So I head down and when I get to turn the corner, I see him up with his hands up and he's like, I'm not going to jail. And he knew me, he's like, Lashley, I'm not going to jail.
00:13:16
Speaker
And i looked at the PO and I'm like, okay, get your handcuffs out. and he's, and the guy's like, you you you can't you can't take me, you can't you can't take me to jail, you can't do this.
00:13:30
Speaker
And I remember going like looking around the corner And he looked too, and I was banking on that. I was looking at nothing. And as soon as he turned his head away, I jumped on him.
00:13:42
Speaker
He got a hold of him and was able to get him on the ground. And ah we we put cuffs and stuff on him. And afterwards, you know, and he he's like, wait what was you looking at? I'm like, nothing.
00:13:55
Speaker
Just staring in the corner, you know, but little things like that, little tactics, that's usually what a lot of people do. They they can't help themselves. yeah No matter how mad this guy was, he wasn't going to jail. He wanted to know what I was looking at.
00:14:10
Speaker
And he turned his head right away and I capitalized on that. But, you know, stuff like that. we I'll get more of that, most people, but I pick up right away.
00:14:25
Speaker
When I go up, I know when they're going to jail. They might not know, but I know when they're going. So um when I ah approach, I start reading the body language. you know i see closed fist and he's sitting at a table. ah Okay, I need to angle it a different way because I could.
00:14:44
Speaker
That's potentially what he might want to fight. So I just start looking at stuff like that i start watching in the crowd. as I'm walking towards the person to handcuff them, I want to see if anybody else is, know, on his side ah that I did maybe not know was going to get upset now, or it could be the victim's family's mad because they don't think it's enough of the sentence.
00:15:10
Speaker
Because and and it's never enough, no matter what it is. So no one's, yeah I always say, there's no one is ever happy when they come into court.
00:15:23
Speaker
or when they come out to court. And doesn't make a difference if you got justice that day, the full max. It still doesn't bring the loved ones back. It still, you know, doesn't do things, you know, make make you feel any better. And I should take that back. There's only one hearing that people leave happy, and that's our adoptions.
00:15:43
Speaker
So we we do have a little ray of sunshine when they come in as an an adoption or something. That's great, man. That's awesome.
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Speaker
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Church Security Measures
00:16:42
Speaker
I love that. Well, I think we're just about out of time here, guys. um ah My Fatherhood panel, do you guys have any ah final questions? I have one and hopefully it's not too Too big of a question, David, but um one thing we didn't address yet was, um you know, church security and awareness or.
00:17:06
Speaker
ah oh But it what would you say we look out for most in a church? Is it like an active shooter or is it? Something else? Usually, i mean, I think you always should train or prepare for the worst.
00:17:23
Speaker
which is an active shooter of any sort. But, I mean, statistics will show that other things could probably become a problem for most congregations before, you know, a possible and active shooter with it.
00:17:42
Speaker
some of the stuff you have to pay attention to is like, what What can we do to prevent that? Maybe we use the example as um a father who had his visitation weekend he knows his daughter's at the church building because that's where he knows the his ex is going.
00:18:06
Speaker
He comes. I want my kid. This is my time. Here's my papers. You know, how do we handle that? That's not an active shooter. It could be violent. But how it's handled could turn into an active shooter because we don't know when it comes to a lot of cases like that or just people in general.
00:18:29
Speaker
We don't know the straw that broke the camel's back that day. So what does it seem, it seems minute to some others. That might be, that was it. That was the last thing.
00:18:40
Speaker
You know, I said, now in the coffin and and you don't know how they're going to respond. So you don't you're trying to be so preventative that you're not creating. You know, you don't realize that it's creating maybe some type of thing like an active shooter situation some sort with that.
00:18:58
Speaker
But most generally, it's like yeah you see a lot of crimes with like homeless when you don't give them what they want, you know, or I shouldn't say just homeless, but people maybe with like a drug problem, they come and ask them for monies.
00:19:17
Speaker
You're not going to give it to them. So they get really, you know, upset about it. We see a lot of more of that. So like I said, the actual child care, you just,
00:19:32
Speaker
just There's stuff I've seen a lot of over the years. I've actually sat through hearings where um you were they were being cased and didn't know it.
00:19:47
Speaker
you know People come in oh and you don't realize. Obviously, if you have a visitor come, you want to treat it as a house of the Lord, house of God. You want visitors, you want them there.
00:20:02
Speaker
But there's some red flags if they're asking about how much the contributions are, you know, who takes care of the contributions and where do you keep the time? Yeah. So, I mean, stuff like that. I mean, it's amazing how you hear that happens with, that um I have always encouraged some of the places we go into. so Some churches here and Ohio is known for putting up their attendance and how much they took in that week for the contributions.
00:20:39
Speaker
And for obvious people are casing that that's that's that's a real easy target to know that two studies in a row you're averaging thousands and thousands of dollars and stuff like that. So those are of things I I've seen lot of parking lot crimes, cars being broken into, stuff like that, more than anything like that. But it's usually people just upset because of, like I said, it's monies or need food or rent money or it's stuff that they think that they should be getting more than what they're getting. And it turns into something a little bit more.
00:21:25
Speaker
but And then, you know, I've i've had... couple different, not very many, um but I guess people just protesting what some churches preach.
00:21:42
Speaker
You know, they come in and you don't know that because they come in, you think, with a good heart and they have another agenda on, you know, I did private security for one of the locals that had some like speakers and ah like Riley Gaines and a couple of them. I was on the security team and we were really so kind of stationed because we were told there were were basically people there to
00:22:14
Speaker
ah pick it, you know, ah dispute what she's saying and cause maybe a scene and stuff like that. And so those are the things I've seen more I hope I never see an active shooter.
00:22:30
Speaker
Gene, I hope I never sat and do anything like that. Right. So to follow up on the church question, what are your thoughts? Um, how could churches do a better job of protecting children from predators within the church? Because that seems to be coming.
00:22:49
Speaker
We seem to be hearing more and more public stories. Um, not just what's going on right now, but what's been happening for decades.
Protecting Children from Predators
00:22:55
Speaker
Um, Yeah, and I guess that was, um a that would be probably the top thing now that you I see more than anything. I wasn't didn't want to get into that, but if you bring it up, then I'll talk talk about it.
00:23:11
Speaker
But those are the tell signs of things. it's It does seem to be more and more of a problem, and and what I think makes it so difficult because you're seeing a mixture of people who come as visitors for a while and become a member and they've been there to people you've known your whole life while you've gone there. And that's what makes that one so difficult call with it. And I think it's listening to your children more than anything.
00:23:43
Speaker
There, there's just certain things that they're saying that such and such, you know, what's them do or gave me candy,
00:23:56
Speaker
out of the blue consistently, know, a toy or there's just no reason you, you know, like there they aren't regular family, friends of the family or family members. So they're you're getting some special treatment.
00:24:11
Speaker
um I've sat through a couple of hearings where it was the dad got suspicious but didn't want to react on it.
00:24:22
Speaker
But his daughter was constantly sitting on the lap of somebody that it didn't make sense during services, you know, why they should going over there. And then to find out that um he made visits to the classroom, why the kid was in and stuff like that. So, but those are the things that's it's talking among that. And that's part of your, your security team.
00:24:53
Speaker
that I think that's another thing that doesn't get brought up in security teams, paying attention stuff like that, that, that they see something that's out of, out of ordinary that you're seeing adults.
00:25:07
Speaker
And I hate can constantly saying adult men, but that's the majority of for sure of those cases, you know, you're seeing some woman, you know, now, but it's, it's mo majority men is what I see in many ways. And, uh, uh,
00:25:22
Speaker
I think that's your security team. I think it's just as important. Like it's a a good security team is prepared for a lot more things besides just the active shooter, major medical emergencies, you know making sure things are done that way, right, to watching the the children.
00:25:42
Speaker
you know, making sure that there they're going to bathroom with the appropriate people taking them to the bathroom and stuff like that. I think that's more what the – that's as much as the team should be doing as anything else.
00:26:02
Speaker
this is And I guess like and guess like Jared was saying earlier in a home – Same thing applies with church. Just any any little thing you do is going to help. Locking the doors or keep or just watching the door if it can't be unlocked. like Do something. right if we're in if we're so If we're all sitting there with our backs to the to the entrance looking forward and nobody's looking looking the other direction, that's easy for somebody to come in and do something. So just put a little bit of effort into it. It'll help. Right.
00:26:37
Speaker
Preparedness doesn't take a lot of effort sometimes and and sometimes it's uncomfortable. But if you do have somebody that you feel uncomfortable, do a do a go Google search. every state has a sex offender registration.
00:26:55
Speaker
You know, every you can you can get so much information. Then it's always amazed me over the years. I'm just as guilty. I'll spend 20 minutes looking for a good restaurant to go on vacation, but I won't take five minutes to know what neighborhood I'm in. You know, and it is stuff like that. It's just taken a few minutes that you can get a lot of information that can tell you a lot with that.
00:27:24
Speaker
And especially like nowadays with like the reg registry, you know, in each state's a little different. Uh, how they do things too, I think. I don't think everybody's on the same page with that. So some states, it's just not as a sex offender, doesn't have the same length of registry. So they're not, people aren't keeping tabs on them like they are in some of the other states. Right.
00:27:52
Speaker
Right. Well, David, you've been so enlightening and helpful, and I'm so grateful that you've given us some time this evening. I wonder if you have anything last Any last comments or anything to share with our, we're probably up to 15 listeners now. They've probably tuned in, you know, here in the middle. Anything else that you'd like to say?
00:28:12
Speaker
um i just, some of the things I think, I ah just don't think awareness or self-defense or personal protection, don't turn it into paranoia. yet i You're just trying to be a little bit more prepared. It's not being paranoid.
00:28:31
Speaker
about that.
Awareness and Self-Defense Resources
00:28:32
Speaker
And I think sometimes there's a kind of a stigma that goes around that because you are a little bit more into awareness. And I'll admit that I may be little bit more than others. My family tells me that anyways. I get a little bit more cautious.
00:28:52
Speaker
My granddaughter, who's five, the joke is just the other day we was at the playground and I go, Eden, she goes, I know, Grandpa, Paul, Paul, it's dangerous. I'll be careful. but with that so i But I just think don't label will yourself as being paranoid because you're not because you're just taking some extra time to be a little bit more prepared for you know your loved ones and friends and family around you.
00:29:25
Speaker
what Why do you say that? Why do you say that, donhha David? Yeah? Why should I be paranoid, huh? Does somebody pay you to say that, huh? um All right. Well, thank you so much, David Lashley. Thank you for talking with us tonight. We've had such a good time chatting with you.
00:29:42
Speaker
And we would love to hear from all of those listeners that are tuning in tonight. If you have a question, we can pass it on to David for sure. David, how can people find your book and how can they find you online?
00:29:54
Speaker
If ah Amazon, just type in David Lashley and it comes up. Um, and then Lashley training center. That's my son's gym. And I teach a lot of the classes. Uh, he took over the gym for me about over 10 years ago, but that's his full time job. And he has a lot of free courses on there to, you know, just different, different things now on there. A lot of different information. And that's probably the best, best place to to get things. So, okay.
00:30:29
Speaker
And Lashley is L-A-S-H-L-E-Y? Yes. Great. And you are located where in Ohio? Mount Vernon, Ohio, which is about an hour north of Columbus, Columbus, Ohio.
00:30:47
Speaker
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being on Fatherhood Friday tonight. ah If anybody would like to get in touch with us, you can find us. You can send us an email. dads at preacher dad.com. That's D a D S at preacher dad.com. We would just love to hear from you and we can open up the mailbag and read your question on the air. If it's clean, you know, is we might have to bleep some words or something, but, uh, we would love to hear from any, any of you, uh, that would like to get in touch with us, but mostly we want to just encourage all of you dads out there, to keep on keeping on and keep, stay vigilant, stay strong,
00:31:26
Speaker
And take good care of your families and keep them safe. Because that's part of your God-given responsibility for him to watch over protect your family. So keep doing the good things, Dad. Every little bit helps.
00:31:38
Speaker
And we'll catch you next time on Fatherhood Friday. Hope all great evening. Bye-bye. God bless.