Transcript
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: we are back. Sorry about that. you know, sometimes... As a good person, you give people with special needs opportunities, and sometimes it comes back and bites you in the ass. and The show has accidentally prematurely ended, but we're back.
Speaker: We'll set up another studio. We'll come back. Got that link. but Welcome back to Nonsensical Nonsense. You guys know me. I'm Glick. We were having a good time hanging out with the panel. If you're not already good, give us follow, give us like. Give us a share. bio dot like slash nonsensical network All those socials are there. You can check the shows out live on YouTube and Facebook all the time. And you can listen anytime, anyplace, which for the most part, everything is caught up.
Speaker: I'm actually clicking that button to publish last Saturday's shows. ah
Speaker: So, yeah, everything's all posted up there. And you guys can listen to previous shows if you missed us live. It is Saturday night. That means the well oh excuse me door is wide open.
Speaker: And anybody and everybody can come hang out. Let me pin this fucking chat here right quick. Let me find it. I got a switch account. Scott K-Mag back in the building.
Speaker: Put that little tiny dick away. I don't want to. Hey, it's my tiny dick, and I'll do with it as I please. My dick, my choice.
Speaker: Yeah, damn right. My dick, my rules, asshole. and We're back. hey We're back, Chris Technician. Yeah, Brit Tanny.
Speaker: shee She spoiled all the fun for all of us I think that's honestly the first time she's done that, but it has been done a lot. Those of you guys who have been around for a long time know that we have had a lot of yeah instances where shows have ended prematurely.
Speaker: Kind of like Glick does every night. Yeah, you know.
Speaker: I finish. It's a race, right? Well, I mean, you are correct. thought it was race. He's like, yeah
Speaker: it's it's like, okay if you're not first, you're last. and
Speaker: but We're doing this again, are we? We are doing this again. fidel we're Oh, God. thank you i um I don't know if I'm up for round two. ah Yes, but he's not the only one. A lot of people a lot of people think i've I've been guilty of it a couple times myself. are they guy has use huh Yeah,
Speaker: yeah yeah he's prematurely ended some fucking things a couple times. It's like, really, Linda? I mean, not good I premature if I was done at the end of the day, let's be honest.
Speaker: You weren't done because we restarted. yeah like it's a time work yeah Don't worry about it. She pulled a shit.
Speaker: Brittany, it's fine. Smile. Be happy. You're just going to catch shit about it. It's okay. Yeah, Tony D's done it. Mike's done it. Jerevishi's done it.
Speaker: Jeff's done it. I've done it. Blaze has done it a couple of times. Wally may have done it a couple of times. It happens. You know, sometimes people have moments of stupidity. Wait, what even happened?
Speaker: She hit the end button. She hit the end button for the whole stream, not herself. She hit the three-part you end Are you sure you want to end? Are you really sure you want end the show?
Speaker: Do you seriously want to end the stream? Yes, yes yes she yes, yes, yes, yes. How do I leave? Oh, my God. ah yeah Oh, my God. How do I leave? How do I get out of this nightmare?
Speaker: Welcome to my lab, Riff. Oh, God. God.
Speaker: Oh, you can check in, but you can never leave. Oh, God. It's like Hotel Glickifornia over here. yeah it puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again.
Speaker: my God.
Speaker: Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I would not fuck you. Hard pass, old son. Hard pass. You have no choice.
Speaker: You better have one bullet left in that fucking gun. You know what's the great thing about duct tape is, K-Mag?
Speaker: It sounds a lot like yes. Oh, does it now? Yeah, that's fair. I'll give you that one. Sounds like consent was given.
Speaker: yeah um I said surprise before it happened. I was going to say, I usually yell the surprise first. It's not grape. Exactly. exactly god It's just a present at that point in time.
Speaker: it's still Everything's fine. she It'll all be over soon. Just relax. Oh my God. Johnny's like, what the fuck did I come back to?
Speaker: ah This is not what happened before, okay? He's taking notes. He's like, new ways to rule this country. go right Write this down in my notebook here.
Speaker: Duct tape and surprise seem to work the best. but No, but yeah, no, it's no big deal. the The premature ending of a show is unfortunately...
Speaker: Nothing new around here. It it happens. But yeah we just get to restart and come back in fresh and we get new faces and take out the trash.
Speaker: Hopefully Jedi will finish his laundry while we're on break. You're saying don't want to hear him in the background?
Speaker: so He's like, my man cave in laundry room. I'm like, I really need to... reevaluate your living situation i'm fixing to get a whole new uh gaming room to myself finally if i can i mean it's my house but like the little nook i have in my bedroom i'm getting like a whole fucking extra bedroom now for my gaming setup and getting my leds and my fucking neon sign oh yeah i bought a neon sign with my gamer tag
Speaker: Don't worry about it. Not you. Oh, in a chat oh
Speaker: I'd rather listen to the laundry. I mean, could all turn our cameras off and just talk incoherently if that'll make you feel better. Oh, thank you.
Speaker: Johnny's like, mine's going to sound like that duct tape scenario. ah No, i' definite identical yeah yeah I rearranged my bedroom, I don't know, a long-ass time ago.
Speaker: It kind of created a little, little quote-unquote, studio area. yeah It's still in my bedroom, but you know but it's it's nice because it's like, all you know, I can...
Speaker: I can put my belts or whatever I want on the back of the wall. I was going to say, where are you right now? Because that wall does not look familiar to me, young man. Yeah, I'm still in the same spot. I'm just repositioned. so that' okay behind well oh that Right now, I'm at my girlfriend's house. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm in her living room. yeah but lucky you know Before, when I was had my setup, it was like behind me was my bedroom.
Speaker: You could see like Oh, I know. I know. Your bed was on the left. The pisser door was on the right. And hallway was right behind you.
Speaker: Yeah. So now it's like yeah i got like know like, it's still in the same room, but it feels like I got my own area. you know what I mean? Like I got a little quote unquote studio.
Speaker: I couldn't set up in my closet, but then you assholes would make relentless jokes about me being in the closet. so I mean, you're not wrong. I was going to say, meanwhile, you're typing on the laptop in the basement.
Speaker: I wish I had a basement. ah Do you got result you got one of those old wall heaters that we can chain you to and just keep you in the basement? The radiator.
Speaker: You had an old radiator? She had his wife chained to? Yeah, that one. They made a movie or on that premise. TSA did. yeah come I actually made several.
Speaker: but my i My place is a little bit newer than that. We actually have Central Air. Hi, little one. they Say hi. Hi. Hi.
Speaker: All right, now go lay down. but thank Yeah, no. Give me a kiss.
Speaker: case Go cook the mess like Danny taught you. Yeah, exactly. Shake and bake, bitch. First you shake, and then you bake.
Speaker: Nah. What the fuck? ah look Reference number two to the Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Shake it before you bake it.
Speaker: In 15 minutes. just Don't worry about it, all right? Anarchy, anarchy. that far That's my kid in a hole right there running around every day.
Speaker: speaking of which hey If you're not first, you're last. Hell yeah, man. course, of all people, Johnny Bongs is like, speaking which, it just so happy. also got one that says live, laugh, toaster bath.
Speaker: yeah have yeah yeah Yeah, we were talking about that earlier. I'm still down for the 480 fucking, you know, well just shock therapy session.
Speaker: Sometimes just needs to happen.
Speaker: Sooner than later, preferably. Oh, man, a little shock therapy. Come on. Ding! New Kink Unlocked. Shit! I came! I shouldn't have done that! I'm mad, Doc. First time it's happened to me. I swear.
Speaker: You know, when you spend weekends in Cancun, you find out new things about yourself.
Speaker: Can't go to hell. Just go to North Dakota. You'll figure out all weird kind of weird shit about yourself. yeah call self do um I apologize.
Speaker: Yourself and the moose then in that case. Mooses. Get it right, damn it. It's moose-eye. Mooses. Mooses. Oh, fuck.
Speaker: who meteorus
Speaker: so Oh, God. That and cobra chickens. Oh, fuck yeah. What? Cobra chickens. Who the fuck is a cobra chicken? Canadian geese.
Speaker: Geese. Oh, okay. Never mind. Damn Canadian geese. This is like a regular Canadian, except wings. It's like the assault version of a Canadian, okay?
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: I was taken down by an assault Canadian. The Canadian the canadian Air Force. oh It's comprised of nothing but geese's, by the way.
Speaker: oh Meanwhile, the rest of the Canadian military that is ah Sorry about that, eh? Not bad. Hey, don't you know, you're supposed to watch out for those, there, Cobra chickens. ye down well Okay, back. Yeah, we're back to somebody in the show, Mandy. The link is in the chat. You're welcome to come back.
Speaker: Oh, my God. Johnny's over here dying. He's wiped two tears away from his eyes. as I've seen it. aye I still thought the thing just ended for the night earlier. I didn't know we were coming back for a part two.
Speaker: I said we were ending. I was like, it hey, we are you. Yeah, I was going to say, it's a six-hour session. there's a talent maybe Here's the towel. Clean yourself off. We're not done yet. But now we have to start the six hours now, though.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. I don't think that's going to happen. Round two, fight. yeah or i Yeah. Round two, fight. Finish him.
Speaker: Finish her. I'm already done. What do you want me to do? okay I can't finish anymore. I've already finished everything I can finish. Next time it's going to be painful.
Speaker: Oh, Lord have mercy. what did any What did idiot husband do? Tell him. It's 11 o'clock at night. Wow. like Did he get his fucking wiener stuck in a fucking toaster?
Speaker: Sometimes. I tried that before. Shock therapy, Johnny. Shock therapy. I'm assuming he's okay since you're like, I'm at the ER with idiot husband and you're watching us live. It's nothing serious. It's very effective. Either that or it's really serious and she's just trying to look for the comic relief and the bad side of her.
Speaker: She's like, she's already on the phone with the insurance company. so Wait to get this payout. ah Hold on. She puts the life insurance company on hold to watch us. Hold on. I got to put you on hold. I got to go watch something real quick.
Speaker: and Again, about being very effective.
Speaker: I'm very curious to know what idiot husband has done to himself at 11 o'clock at night. I know that they're Tiger fans and I figured anybody would have ended up in the ER tonight.
Speaker: they have been Mandy. Are we talking real life Tigers? No, we're talking about the LSU Tigers of Louisiana who are currently getting their dicks knocked in the dirt. hall Go exotic.
Speaker: I'm a meathead. I'm sorry. It's only 10 there, by the way. Is it only 10 there? Either way, what the hell did... It's still way too late to be doing dumb shit. I mean... Fuck all hell, it's only 9.30. Well, technically 10 o'clock here. Never mind. I've done dumb shit at 3 o'clock in the morning that should have landed me in the ER. That one right there. we're going to go with that one.
Speaker: I've done dumb shit at fucking 10 o'clock in the morning that should have landed me in the r but i <unk> This sounds like a great idea. Hold my beer.
Speaker: we will we hey you no Usually it always started with the boss calling me going, hey, I need you to do something. And it's like, I already know it's not safe. Okay, let's do it.
Speaker: yeah Doctor says 14 stitches. Mandy, what the fuck? God damn. Oh, he's got his hand sharpening a knife. ah Hey, idiot husband, you're doing it wrong. You're not supposed to use your hand to sharpen your knife.
Speaker: You're right. You're supposed to use the bone. that They make stones for that, you know. Fuck. Yeah, they have sharpening tools.
Speaker: You have to get past the hand and reach the bone in order for that to happen. Come on now.
Speaker: Golly, idiot husband. I'm still down for in my workplace, I remove all the warning labels off everything that rotates and just see what happens. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I would show up with a case of beer for that one.
Speaker: when i become how is a new but first thing The first thing I do when I become the president of the world is remove all warning labels. know Fair enough.
Speaker: Thank God. I cannot wait. And know what? and and And every... every Every Friday and Saturday, everybody gets a free case of beer to watch the stupid people off themselves.
Speaker: I'm down. I'd be front and center fucking wherever the central meetup point was. I'd drive my end there. Where do I vote for this guy? want free booze. I'll just show up with a i just show up I just show up with a pickup bed full of 30 tracks and fucking we sit here and watch dumb shit all night long. I just don't do all of themselves. Oh my God.
Speaker: You better have a purge at least once once every six months though. I don't think we'll need a purge once the stupid people start killing themselves off. I'm just saying. Nah, because I got a couple exes that are pretty smart. to You know what I'm saying? saying Well, are they smart, though? Because they're your ex.
Speaker: Well, they apparently they are because they're my ex, dumbass. oh Well, I mean... They weren't smart for a period of time. Chloroform and duct tape do wonders.
Speaker: i you You're not wrong. turns an okay night into a great night. Exactly. oh my I have yet to ever figure out why they call roofies roofies because, you know, like they said in Hangover, you're more likely to end up on the roof than you are the floor.
Speaker: Yeah. who because me Because every time they make something idiot-proof, they make a better... You're not wrong. that that That's fair.
Speaker: Do we also get to encourage the behavior? Yes, definitely. Please do. One hundred one hundred one million percent, Mandy. We can encourage their stupid behavior. here Yes.
Speaker: Do it. Just put your hand in there. Try it once. See what happens. Stick your face in. Don't stick your hand in. stick your face in there. Jump in head first. It ain't going to hurt that much.
Speaker: You should totally wire that electrical panel hot. It'll be fantastic. I'm going to turn that shit into a jigsaw movie. You know, i i'd be down for that. You know, you not all heroes wear capes, Johnny Bongs, and I'm just doing my work to make the world a better place. I'm a lawyer of the loudspeaker. All of sudden, I want to play a game.
Speaker: I want to play a game. Yeah. yeah they're like I'd be like... That's my inaugural speech, Johnny. ah So, and then I'm going to be the asshole in the back to be like it's gonna be like, I want to play a game too. So, what what are we playing here? Like... wait really You just see Billy the Puppet roll up on a tricycle and then it's face trapples.
Speaker: He came back the first victim of my no warning labels. I'm like...
Speaker: damage story gly christ but I saw the opportunity. I had to take it. ah sorry i'll build a statue for you came my mad he won not take out they come on now here lies a great man We removed the warning labels and he couldn't handle it anymore.
Speaker: He couldn't resist himself. Exactly. Holy shit. Don't turn the wood chipper off. Your hand will slow it down.
Speaker: It's an auto feature. Stupid people are going to stupid people at the end of the day. As Forrest Gump once said, stupid does. Stupid is. Stupid is. Stupid does. Whatever it is.
Speaker: God damn. but You could at least set it in his accent. Come on now. Stupid is. Oh my God, I can't do it anymore. My mama always said, blah, blah, blah. I bought the chocolates, you know.
Speaker: So stupid is, stupid does. I may not be a man, Jenny, but I know I
Speaker: love you. Lieutenant Dan, you got new legs. I got no legs, Lieutenant Dan. Oh, my God.
Speaker: Or at least what we found of him. Fair enough.
Speaker: Eli's a great man. That's fair. That's fair.
Speaker: He was all for two policies. in he yeah I was the first one to test him out to see if the warning labels actually made a difference. hold
Speaker: Lo and behold, they actually did. Trust me. His last words were, hold my beer, watch this, Glick.
Speaker: hey And you cannot say, here lies a great man. Fuck that shit. I'm an asshole. I know it. Everyone here knows it. Let's just... Mind you, mind you i like much like Mandy said, can we encourage... but I will strongly encourage your stupidity. You're like, you guys came in. Go for it. I think you can make it through the saw blades and out the other side one piece. Don't be a pussy.
Speaker: but That chipper ain't got shit on you. five it I just had dag gum, you fat bastard.
Speaker: Oh, ah Lord. Big house. You got a shirt on, you big bastard. What the fuck? What's happening, y'all? He just fucking appears out of nowhere.
Speaker: Well, no. He was backstage. He was backstage.
Speaker: I was going to say he he was waiting on Glick to fucking do his job. That's what he was doing. He's the pinnaturest I've ever seen in my life. God hates you, my friend. We will steal your soul.
Speaker: God hates you, my friend, but i like you. Hoss or Glick? Hoss. Johnny, I don't practice that type of shit.
Speaker: Yeah, Fidel, calm down. You need something to fill that void. Come on now. What up, baby
Speaker: house, says Chris. black i You know, just packing a bowl. I've been awake for 25 hours. I'm going strong.
Speaker: Hell yeah. Why you been awake for 25 hours? Because you wanted to be awake for 25 hours. Does it matter? The couple days. I'm a professional journalist here, all right? I think you're 48. Come on now.
Speaker: The last couple days, I've been staying up for like at least 20 hours a day. Crack bender. eat He wants to see why i talk to myself.
Speaker: You need to like get new weed because apparently that shit's got meth in it, but that's all I'm saying. Or maybe some coke. He wants to see why i talk to myself, so he thought he'd try it out for himself.
Speaker: Two days ago, i ended up staying up for 40 hours.
Speaker: That math don't math. Yeah, I'm trying to do That math is not math. Two and a half days ago, I wasn't very good at math, so I'm sorry. Thanks for you know having my back on that because I'm like, wait a minute. that's not all I'll say it because there's 48 hours in two days and you're like two days ago and I'm gonna now like a day and a half. I'm an idiot and K-Mag is dumb, but if we're both are on the same page, he yeah if we ever have to be the voice of reasoning for anything, we're all fucked.
Speaker: Oh, my God. oh And Johnny found his pecker. um biby's like I've been up for the last 72 hours in the last two days. but But my ass is like, I can barely stay awake past nine o'clock any anymore. I'm like, fuck, man.
Speaker: I was going say, when I put in like a good 18-hour day, it's like, fuck this. I'm going to bed for at least 10. Fuck off. No, it freaking last night.
Speaker: I get the bags underneath my eyes. Yeah, last night we were down here watching a movie, and I kept dozing off, and Kayla was giving me kind of giving me a shit for it. there we I woke up, and we finished the movie, and I went upstairs. It was like 1130. I was like, this is the latest I've been up since last Saturday.
Speaker: they feel Like, what the fuck? what is Raleigh? I remember the point in time where we used to be up to like three or four o'clock in the morning. I'm old. Bitch, you ain't that much older than me. Look, I'm in a happy, healthy relationship now. Oh. You got a good job. You know, life is currently not stomping on my dick.
Speaker: so know what You know what? got a sweet schedule. i'll give you I'll give you the job part of it. Fuck off. Fuck off.
Speaker: What is this six and five hours shit, Chris? That's fucking astronomical. I wish I could get more than fucking three. I used to love that shit. man Sleep was not my friend. I was a functional insomniac.
Speaker: Yep. And a functioning alcoholic at the same time. Touche. I could probably run off of it. If I got like three hours of sleep a day, I could probably run off that.
Speaker: I was going to say, I usually go to bed at around 1, 2 o'clock in the morning, wake up at like 3, 4 o'clock in the morning, and then go to work until 6 o'clock at night, and then do it all over again.
Speaker: My pap, during the week, that man's nuts. He gets up at like 1.30 in the morning, goes to the gym, and then goes to work.
Speaker: His dad. His dad. um My pap, yeah, he wakes up 1.30 in the morning, goes to the gym, goes to work, comes home, and then goes to bed. But then on the weekends, he gets up at like 4 in the morning and works in the garage all day.
Speaker: Yeah, go I woke up this morning at 7.30. And I and the fuck and i was wide awake. like I got up, came down, went to the bathroom, went up late in bed.
Speaker: Kayla was still kind of asleep for a little bit. I was fucking around playing games on my phone. No, it wasn't. He was trying to figure out if he could get enough duct tape in the palm of his hand to cover her mouth. I don't have to.
Speaker: yeah She will. She don't read warning labels.
Speaker: Fuck those warning labels, bitch. I ain't afraid no damn warning label. Who are you going to call? glick Glick himself is the warning label, so clearly she doesn't read them very well.
Speaker: I am a walking warning and trigger label, apparently. Trigger warning. I'm a walking red flag, obviously. But yet, the here we are.
Speaker: hey go to bed. What are you going to do? got to go grab a beverage. I'll be right back. That's why I grab two at a time, pussy. like you
Speaker: Chris, most of us should have warning labels. So there's that like TikTok thing going around. Remember, like if men would talk to us like they talk to their work buddies, they wouldn't be single. And I'm like, bitch, if we talk to you like we talk to our work buddies, we'd end up in prison. and For real. Like some of the shit that I say to my buddies on the game or like, yeah, like in a, in a call, a group call, it's insane.
Speaker: Yeah. It's, it's yeah. I mean, it's not okay.
Speaker: My one buddy. Told me that ah the the game systems are going to try to release all the private party chats to the public.
Speaker: And i was like I was like, if that happens, you better be ready to get swatted. Yeah, pretty much. You're it? Yeah. What's up, buddy? Watching you play DayZ and on a live.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No. No. They were so excited. No, I was surprised, and I really liked it.
Speaker: I didn't know. no I didn't want to expect it, but really liked it. If we look back,
Speaker: look back I figured it was going to be orange. I didn't think it was going to be
Speaker: Yeah, I it.
Speaker: i like it oh i get i walk a lot What's up, sluts? You know, the the point of doing a live stream is usually to to talk and and not be quiet.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Chris Technician, you 100% should have a fucking warning label. and And you probably shouldn't be allowed to use Snapchat after a certain and time. i'm like So, ah fun fact, gli me and Hoss were talking about it. um You know that TikTok thing going around where women are like, if men would just talk to us like they talk to their work buddies, you know they probably wouldn't be single. i'm like I messaged one of them back. I was like, bitch, if I said half the shit to you that I say to a work colleague, I'd end up in prison. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on second. Hold on a second.
Speaker: ah No, I don't know what you're talking about. that's a Really? picture Yeah. like yeah I don't feel like I hold back with you. I just... I have no filter between my brain and my mouth. We know.
Speaker: Shut up, K-Man. You're supposed to be new here. like Nobody knows who you are. You're supposed to be like, oh. yeah ah Shit, I should change it to the newbie, not the OG then. My bad, my bad. No, I don't feel like don't feel like I hold back anything with you. and she she sits right beside me when we do Saturday nights. So, I mean. Hell yeah. She's a fan. She loves it.
Speaker: Fuck yeah. Nothing wrong with that. My man's over here ripping the bong. I like that. Where is Johnny at anyway? Wait a few drugs on my fucking stream, hoss. I am sorry. not. I'm not.
Speaker: How dare you, sir? Do more is what he's saying. Do more. Why do I attract to all the stoners?
Speaker: ah Jesus. What? No. but I just got the weed pin thrown at me from girlfriend. I would... i mean i've what i would one. I wouldn't know why we attract all the stoners, Glenn. I don't do the weed.
Speaker: I do if you get enough beers at me. I don't give em a fuck at that point. My flag says it's 420 somewhere. You know, i I have a similar saying. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Touche.
Speaker: It's always 5 o'clock. You know what? It's 5 o'clock every minute of the day somewhere. A broken clock is right twice a day. Well, that too, but, you know.
Speaker: The sun shines in every once in a while. And a blind squirrel gets a nut as well. Yeah.
Speaker: So we do have six more hours left. I see. said Who's a deaf friend. Who stuck his peg leg out the window to see if it was raining. I appreciate that. i that's cut i appreciate that Yeah, yeah. johnny I probably only got like another hour in me before I crash. Yeah, stab it.
Speaker: Well, yeah. I mean, you've been up for the last 72 hours in the last day. yeah Reimburse yourself. Wait, hold on. You're a stoner and math isn't your strong suit.
Speaker: don't like anything is any stoner's strong suit. than No, no. Dude, I was really good at math for the simple fact when I'd go buy shit, I'd fucking do exactly what I did.
Speaker: i I did scale-nomics. I failed math four years in a row. Shocking. and Your statement when you first came in here, I'm not sure why that. Hold on. Hold on. Did you smoke weed in those four years? No. You should have.
Speaker: Dude, the only reason I passed high school because I was stoned 100% of the time all the time. i didn't i didn't start I didn't start smoking weed until like a little bit after I i dropped out of public school and went into cyber school.
Speaker: Jesus Christ, you're a baby. yeah who yeah How old are you, big dog? I'll be 24 next month. Oh my ba god. I have a daughter are almost as old as you.
Speaker: I'm older than you. My mom's only 41. Well, gonna be 41. Your mom is... Your mom was easy in high school.
Speaker: Jesus Christ. No. you I don't even know what my mom's doing. I haven't talked to her in over a month. Are your mom and dad still together?
Speaker: No, I have never met my dad. Nobody looks just like him. I'm not surprised by the fact that your mom was like 10 when she got pregnant with you. but She was like 16 when she got pregnant with me.
Speaker: I can't say much. My whore mom was 16 when she got pregnant with me. i got my I can't say shit because I got a niece who was 15 and got pregnant with her first kid. She was pregnant with her second kid at 16 and pregnant with the third kid at 17. I'm like, God damn.
Speaker: Did she hook up with a black guy or a Mexican? My fucking niece? Yeah. No, was the same white guy and they're both fucking retarded. Sad. but but yeah
Speaker: I'm just kidding. I'm sure your mom's a lovely lady, Hoss, but your mom is younger. My real dad was actually the one that was the hoe. He has 18 kids. She is a very lovely man.
Speaker: yeah he is a nice lady. she is a very lovely man, Johnny says.
Speaker: I mean, listen... You don't know your dad, but you know he has 18 kids. my mom My mom's lesbian. Yes, she is.
Speaker: If I had 10 years old and had you, I would a lesbian. mean, for the last... It's like, well, I'm going on the a hard, like, last, like, 32 and a half years. I've been a lesbian trapped in a man's body. She she was straight from the time of i was born to all the way to I was 21. And then she turned.
Speaker: oh so she just is a new lesbian. Yeah. was Remember that time you almost became a stepson? Huh? Remember that time you almost became a stepson, huh?
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Good times. Oh, you almost had to call him Daddy Bongs. Oh, please do. Papa Bongs.
Speaker: Papa Bongs. Can I please have a new Xbox, Papa Bongs? What the fuck? flip but I'll be a good boy. I promise, Papa Bum.
Speaker: Papa Bum, please don't send me a toss away, Papa
Speaker: We came back.
Speaker: and this is why we can't have nice things okay but like k bag Fuck you. I blame you. You started it. like i see like card dare I'll be his dance partner on the floor. Here we go. yeah How long have you known me, motherfucker? You know I feed off shit. I'm there.
Speaker: i god I'll take the simplest thing and turn it into the most dirtiest thing you'll ever imagine. Or most fucked up thing, either one. It's like a 50-50 shot. We'll all be surprised what comes out of my mouth.
Speaker: I think the great thing about Jay Mag and I and why we get along so well is that we're both habitual line crossers. I see you alive. I'm going to cross that one.
Speaker: Currently, my mom's name E.T. What's that? I said, currently, my mom's in a relationship with E.T. from home. No way. Isn't it legal alien?
Speaker: No. it just It's there' a woman it's woman that looks like E.T. Oh, God. there's ah That's why your mom likes her. She's got the big finger.
Speaker: yeah i don't even know her eyes are far apart.
Speaker: How far apart are her eyes, Huss? About 10 centimeters 10 centimeters, this is America You goofy son of a bitch She's lost in the Goonies, gotcha Yeah, like There you go That's what Ramsey says Baby.
Speaker: Baby. yeah I have a friend. His name's Ramsey. Every time he like calls us, and he'll be like, hey, you guys.
Speaker: Can't go wrong with the Goonies, all right? That's classic right there. ah I never watched the Goonies. You should probably watch the Goonies and culture you a little bit. Did you grow up at all? like Did you get to have a childhood? I mean, he's 24. He's 24. Give him a little bit.
Speaker: Johnny Bones, how old are you, Fidel? 26. I tried to have your back, Hoss. I tried to have your back, Hoss, but you know what? I can't.
Speaker: I mean, I can say, say you said you're 26? Yeah. yeah So it's it's a two-year separation here, you know? i mean, they could have the same dad at this point. That's what I thought, too, at one point.
Speaker: I got to meet my dad on Facebook. You met your dad on Facebook? That must have been an interesting interaction. Hold on. Let me type to my father real quick. yeah You may know. He's like,
Speaker: It looks an awful lot like me. Literally, we just stared at each other on the fucking video call for literally 10 minutes straight, not saying a goddamn word. And all of sudden, so your mom's Holly? Yeah. yep Yup. Yup.
Speaker: Oh, okay. I see you remember now. I'll be like, what you say, the resemblance, you cocksucker? Oh, I survived.
Speaker: And Johnny's like, Nice mustache you have there, sir. Well, that's the other part. He kind of wanted me flushed down the toilet, but I i survived. I lived. would have been like, that coat hanger didn't have shit on me, Popsy, bitch. You got to go for the... To insure it, it's a bottle of tequila, stairs, and a metal coat hanger, my friend. And if that don't work, you kick it really hard in the gut a couple times. That's what it does for you. Take her the top, have her polish off a bottle of tequila, and then you roundhouse Chuck Norris, kick that bitch in the stomach down the stairs. That's fair.
Speaker: And if that baby survives, you're fucking winner, champ. ah throughou kids Well, I mean, look at Johnny. He survived. well plan With brain issues.
Speaker: Understandable. Understandable. on It couldn't have happened any other way. fuck you know topic I would never do this in real life, but it's funny. Oh, my God.
Speaker: It's funny to talk about it. I'm going click on that. I would never actually do it, but, you know. It's just that it says that two guys multiple children of our own. Right, right.
Speaker: I mean, to be fair, though, my gamer tag in one of the games I play is Crusty Ocean. To be fair. To be fair. To be fair.
Speaker: The best part of Glick ran down his mama's leg at conception. Holy shit. Hold
Speaker: on, hold on. That's one point for me. Fuck off. time My mom and I would, wouldn't when my mom was alive before she was dead under my car seat, we would have, a ball you know, mom, I would have been better off if you would have just faked a headache or swallowed.
Speaker: you Hey, you know what? It's like I tell everyone, the best part of me got strained out in a tube sock during conception. so It happens. I was conceived into the backseat of a Dodge Challenger to Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Speaker: Sounds about right. You're kind of a little white trashy. I understand. There's no kind of about it. There's a whole lot of white trash. I'm one mullet away from Joe Dirt. It's Joe Dirt. Joe Dirt. Hey, hey, I can see Dad in your shirt.
Speaker: Hey. hello yeah hey hey i could see dan your shirt whose my Who's my sister? Who?
Speaker: yeah Call me your sister. Call me your sister. You're my sister. You're my sister. Holy shit.
Speaker: God. No, the best part was, would it go back to helping you if you thought I was still your sister? Yeah.
Speaker: Roll Tide. That's all I needed to add in there was a Roll Tide. Oh, man John Blonk sounds like somebody's grandpa over there laughing.
Speaker: It really hurts to laugh, doesn't it, Johnny? I'm not used to it. It hurts my soul.
Speaker: I mean, you have a soul? fuck If that's what that's called. I don't know what souls are, but, you know, I mean, I know laughter helps i mean get me out of prison for the most part.
Speaker: I better not have had one up until like a month ago. All I know is I have conversations with myself for fun. So do i We need expert advice on situations. oh yeah We can't ask stupid people.
Speaker: oh in your head are great, great conversations. Yeah. Especially, you know.
Speaker: and Then I do this show on Saturday night, and you people are just like the voices in my head. so right If I listen to half the shit the voices in my head told me, I've been in prison a long time ago.
Speaker: Or stuck your hand in a wood chipper, one of the two. No, I would have stuck my head in that bitch. Warning labels. Two quick points there.
Speaker: No, no, no. It wasn't the warning labels. It was the fact I didn't have readable accessibility to the Wood Shepherd,
Speaker: o okay? So one thing about me, as everyone can probably tell, it's a no-holds-barred with what the fuck I would say on this show.
Speaker: Fuck it. Hell yeah. for facts like i've I've said some of the most morbid shit. Like, no fucks given. Shit happens, man. Shit happens.
Speaker: It does. What? Shit. Sometimes it happens to shit itself. Why is this so bad? want to do a goddamn force or do a very piss poor For his gun impersonation, the first thing I have to do is be like, ah well I can't do it. I can't. I'm done.
Speaker: One day I was running. ands Felt like jumped up and bit me in the butt talks. so ah Best thing about getting shot in the butt talks was ice cream.
Speaker: yeah Lieutenant Dan, ice cream.
Speaker: huh best part The best part was Lieutenant Dan on the boat. like I'm going to try out my new sea legs. forest Lieutenant Dan, you ain't got no legs.
Speaker: Fucking Gary Sinise said that movie was great. I love that movie. That is one of my favorite movies. And I'll watch all the time. But it's not a good movie. like It's actually kind of like a crazy bad movie. But it's so much fun to watch.
Speaker: That was back in the era though. So you think about it. All right. Goddamn. Right? Now you got me sounding like fucking a house fucking Jarvis over here. but go Back in that point in time. Back in the day. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: like Racism and the R word and all that shit wasn't a big factor. you know like retard No one fucking cared. not but the heart but But retard's coming back. like More and more people are using it. Yeah, I know. a big pick yeah i always Dude, i've had I've got a couple handicapped fucking distant relatives of shit and shit. You couldn't tell by looking at me, obviously. We understand. i got it we know you' got it. Hey, but no why and those the Dude, they will be the first to make fun of themselves and it's fucking great because it's like, oh yeah, he's a retard. It's okay. yeah yeah well
Speaker: Colt and Nicole, you've met in Johnstown. true but nicole His cousin's retarded. and He's a little fucking asshole. This son of a bitch. I never wanted to punch. somebody but so I've never wanted to get into a cripple fight so bad in my life. God. david Hit this kid. He's a little fucking prick and he'll do fucking do shit to fucking aggravate you.
Speaker: And he knows. And when you get pissed off, he's like, you can't get mad at me. I'm retarded.
Speaker: It's like you. Hold on. One day, well one day ah he did that shit to me. And I looked at my buddy and said, I'm going to punch him in his chest. I swear to God. I never did it.
Speaker: He kept digging at me and digging at me and digging. And I punched him right in his chest. And he was like... a yeah oh me I'm like, yeah, yeah. Fucking retard. That's what he sounded like Randy.
Speaker: Dude, what? Boss. but like just Glick just sounded like Ramsey. thank yeah ramsey is Ramsey is a special case. but even even to i haven't seen him in a hot minute, but even when I see him, he'll always tell me, good remember when you punched me in my chest because I'm retarded? didn't punch you in your chest because you're retarded. punched you in the chest because you're an asshole. There's a difference.
Speaker: Yeah, but if you said that in public, oh, God, you'd be fucking hung on the 10 o'clock news, motherfucker. fifteen When I used to work at Goodwill, I'd punch me up one night your chest because I'm retarded, and you'd be like, motherfucker.
Speaker: You punched a retard again? Yeah, it's like it' like, oh, my God, this guy punched a retard. And nothing to do with the fact that you are, in fact, a retard. I was like, yeah, I'm going to do it again if he keeps talking. Don't worry. have good Still selling a dying walrus over here. used to work at Goodwill. I'd walk into the stores and I'd go into the back and I'd be like, what up, my homies with the extra chromies? And they'd all get excited because, you know, I'd go back there and hang out with them and they were cool. But I called them my homies with extra chromies. The guy i worked with, he was like, Glick, you can't say that. I'm like, clearly I can because you have the special needs and they enjoy it. what what
Speaker: What they didn't tell Glick was they had accepted him as one of their own and they thought he had a couple of extra chromosomes as well. Yeah.
Speaker: We ain't never seen Sasquatch, let alone a retarded Sasquatch.
Speaker: It's like, oh, he's cool. He's got an extra couple chromosomes, too. He gets down with the down. Don't worry about it. It is what it is. I don't care. he gets down with the down don't worry about it
Speaker: it is what it is you know not okay I love that the R word's coming back. I love that we can say it freely again. Dude, like, I grew up with that word. Like, that was like, I was called retarded more anybody I ever known. And don't get me wrong. Yeah, I am retarded, but that's beside the point. But fuck. G-Mag's really looking forward to the N word coming back. Oh, I am.
Speaker: and With the hard R or the A. I'm sorry. There are lines even on this show I won't cross, but if we're talking hard, r you know I got a whip in the in the back over here. Ginger.
Speaker: Not ginger. Ginger. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Don't race out right now. What do you watching? You watching gay amputee gangbangs?
Speaker: Midget style? Who? Biggosh.
Speaker: but us What's up? I think he's talking to you. You watch a little gay midget amputee gangbangs over there? No, I'm watching. ah I'm playing DayZ.
Speaker: We call that nugget porn. okay
Speaker: cause i to To be fair, I play DayZ. I know them zombies. They'll still come after you. With ah no legs and one arm. All right?
Speaker: Same thing. Do what? Call of Duty zombies do the same thing. hey yeah no thats it Dude, that was the best like glitch in Call of Duty zombies. As long as you left a crawler alive at the end of one round, you could always run around and fucking, yep, do everything need to still can't.
Speaker: Because I'll do that. I'll leave one alive. And one even had to be a crawler. It can a really pissed off, angry fucking I'm going to run at you World War Z style zombie. But you can still run around and do everything you need to do because eventually at some point they get lost somewhere on the map and you get stuck in that fucking round.
Speaker: but yeah Mine? Eventually it would just kill it off on mine. Oh, that does happen from time to time. Yeah, I'll call to you sometimes. But usually what happens to me is that motherfucker gets lost somewhere on the map.
Speaker: All you can hear is... And you have to fucking... why yeah yeah hit so And at that point in time, we don't know if it's Glick or the zombie making noises.
Speaker: We don't know if it's Glick pissed off because he can't find the zombie or the zombie pissed off because he can't find Glick. All right? It's not bad. It's usually both. But yeah, you got run around this type of map, and usually you find the dumb son of a bitch trapped under a tire or trapped in a door. Like, he's, like, happening through a door, and it's just like, how did you even end up there?
Speaker: The fucked up part is when you have all the shit already brought up and one's broken through yet. So you're looking for something that broken through yet and it just breaks through next to you. Yeah. yeah know I know.
Speaker: and yeah I do that. And you can like shoot their heads off and they still come after you. to conditions certificate literally blew your head off and you're a zombie. you know Human or undead human, you can't still be running around with your head hey hey one of the best rules in zombie land double tap plunge oh yeah yeah cardio and double tap yep and wear your seat belt this game is doo-doo i haven't found no loot
Speaker: i can help this game is doooo i haven't found no loot
Speaker: you know cook zaca You found a loop, but have you found a hula hoop? I found a lula loop. There's a loop loop and all the zombies to the yard?
Speaker: Yeah. a picture Yeah, I tossed out that little dancing and monkey and all them bitches show up in my front yard. yeah The monkey with the cymbals. Yeah. chi ding, ding, ding, ding.
Speaker: It's like, really? You could have came up with something way cooler than this, but whatever. Yeah, but how fun is it to throw the monkey out when you have it? And then just go to the other side and watch all the zombies run to and And then head tap every one of them. Yeah, you're like, yeah, you're a whole other. Except for in the higher round where it doesn't kill them and they all just mob face after you.
Speaker: Well, that or just blow your limbs off. Unlike the original Black Ops, On Ascension, I had a death circle I could run all the way to level about 126. Fuck looks like no oh That's where the point begins. I think the highest level I've been is like level 37 or some shit like that. and even And then I'm losing my fucking mind. I'm like i'm just going to run into this horde because I'm done.
Speaker: I believe it's Black Ops 4 in the arena. i usually do something like that in the arena. Mm-hmm. Yeah. on On, like, the old-school Ascension map.
Speaker: you had like your main starting area and you can run from the top floor down the ramp into these like little fucking circle thing. they had And the zombies always followed you in a line for the most part. You had a couple of strikeouts that you have to shoot, but yeah but you come around the corner, you run back and you get about halfway. You turn around, light up all their heads. You do it again. You just keep doing it. That's what I do. I get up on the, uh,
Speaker: For anybody who's played it, get up on the roof in the fucking town. oh I can't think of the name of it. But you go and you open up a couple of the you open up a couple of the gates, and then you can get up on this roof, and you can literally just run in circles on this roof.
Speaker: And you can you can run in a circle. And get in one corner and they just line up. And they they can only file in one way. Yeah. Because it's like pictures one of rooftop windows.
Speaker: So they file in and then just unload on them. And then I'll run around to the other corner, the diagonal corner corner across from it. And if you put yourself in there, they can only file into this one way.
Speaker: just... unload on them yeah that's like the zombie and i'll be right back though i gotta take this zombie bank shit sandwiches all day good they made it on the i think it's uh black ops or the the fucking i don't know it's fucking kid uh not kiddo it's rick toppen and dempsey and the other dude there well they're trying to figure out the fucking map and the plans and the shit Well, then you get trapped upon a roof and there's nowhere else to go. Yeah.
Speaker: Shit, dude. I'm still trying to figure that out. What the fuck do you do next? Do you just die? i don't i don't really I don't really try to complete any of the missions in Zombies. I just want to see how long I last.
Speaker: Fuck yeah. like that survival mode, man. that's what they I'm glad that they brought back with the new Call of Duty was survival mode. i love I mean, don't get me wrong. After I got used to it, loved the DMZ zombies with like the free world and free range. like That was a lot of fun, and you could get all kinds of stuff. But, i man, i'm just I'm just a big fan of the survival, round-based survival.
Speaker: Yeah, that's classic. I don't blame you. Yeah. Speaking of Call of Duty, Black Ops 7 comes out on Friday. I know. I can't wait.
Speaker: Yeah, now that tried out the beta and I want the fucking game, hell yeah. Yeah, okay, yeah. i was go to So, if we're have you got to... Hoss, you try out the beta? Yeah, I pre-ordered i preordered the Vault Edition and got to play from October 2nd to maybe October 9th.
Speaker: so i got yeah i got to So, on Xbox, the Game Pass, Call Duty is free on Game Pass, so you got the beta. Yeah. and are the and and And I liked it. I'm digging it. I'm excited for the full game version.
Speaker: Same. um um I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker: Bring it. Bring it. I used to get excited for Madden. Like I get excited for Call of Duty's and Black Ops now. I haven't played Madden forever.
Speaker: I just recently downloaded 25 and I have yet to play it. look shit It's on the Game Pass, man. It's free on the Game Pass and I downloaded and I have yet to play it. The fuck You know what?
Speaker: I've gotten inspired. I'm going to boot the PlayStation up.
Speaker: How was your masturbation? I mean, you're pissed. It was a phenomenal. Dude, I've been taking a lot of zinc lately, so the ropes are super thick and brothy. put the pist look pickckle i painted i painted the toilet again. you know what i mean? ah You still got the red. You should see a doctor. That's blood. It's not normal.
Speaker: Oh, shit. I thought it was. Fuck. It's not normal if it comes out red. don't know.
Speaker: What if it comes out fucking yellow? You need some penicillin. Ah, okay. Good. What? What the hell? You're going to smoke ciggy? no
Speaker: what
Speaker: period
Speaker: yeah el
Speaker: you're goingnna smoke aigy
Speaker: A whistle, he says. thats What kind of porn you looking to in that headset? I'm not listening to anything. I'm talking to my buddies in a Discord or a party chat.
Speaker: I feel like I'm about to hear some Japanese just... Get the fuck out of here. It's coming. I'm waiting for it. No, sorry to tell you, but it ain't.
Speaker: Why can't we be friends? suppose yeah
Speaker: oh
Speaker: oh know He'll be friendly with you. He'll be friendly with you.
Speaker: That's all I ask. That's all I ever ask. Just be friendly with me. Buy me dinner first.
Speaker: Shit. That's all Glick wants, too. is it g You can get you get to Glick super easily as long as you buy him dinner first.
Speaker: I mean...
Speaker: I'm not... Yeah, yeah you mean what, Mitch? Yeah. I would like to argue with you, but... Hey, Junior. with you, but food is...
Speaker: i'd like to argue with you but mean food is ah Food is a weakness. Oh, I know.
Speaker: yes As Kayla is discovering. Just feed me and I'm happy. Damn. Here, eat a Snickers. You ain't the same.
Speaker: I might go to a college football game here in a couple weeks. um time What college? I'm going to watch ah Pitt.
Speaker: Versus? I'm not sure who they're playing in a couple weeks, but whatever whatever team they play at home, I want to go see you them play at home. Are you in the Pittsburgh area?
Speaker: Yeah. I'm sorry. said Oh, my God. You're a fucking Yenzer. You don't come across as a Yenzer. Yeah, I'm a Yenzer. Oh, wow. you know i would have never guessed that in a million years.
Speaker: You've got to participate in the sword fighting sports.
Speaker: Dude, there's a new thing. Are we talking swords? There's a bar. Not one. oh ah There's a bar right there. I like to get glow-in-the-dark condoms and pretend like it's a lightsaber.
Speaker: The bar is called Yen. It's not a big lightsaber, but it's still lightsaber. but Do you want to be Darth Maul last?
Speaker: Nah. I'm more of a Vader kind guy. There's a there's a bar that has all the Pittsburgh sports teams logos on it, and and the bar name is Yinzers.
Speaker: Yeah, that sounds like a terrible place.
Speaker: That like a bad decision, all right? that's all the only good sports The only good Pittsburgh sports team is the Penguins. That's fair. i agree I agree. The Pirates can suck a dick. The Steelers can eat my asshole.
Speaker: I ain't got no problem with i i think got no problem with with the with the college with Pitt. They're cool. They're right. It's like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You're cool, but fuck you.
Speaker: My buddy I play the game with is an Ohio State fan. Well, he's also a jackass. Fuck the Buckeyes.
Speaker: I'm born and raised in Ohio, and I'm a Michigan Wolverines fan. Oh, my God. And he's still gay. Weird, right? and You would have thought, of it you know being gay, I'd be an Ohio State fan, but... We we went to Michigan instead, all right? We're infesting them. It's okay. It depends on the day of the week.
Speaker: I'm only kidding, baby. Oh. We all know Ohio State... You know, lums usually ask if you want paper or plastic. know the I'm kidding. i don't really have, like, a favorite, favorite team. I just like watching Pitt, Penn State, and Boise State, and Ohio State.
Speaker: Penn State fucking fell apart this year. Fucking fell apart this year. Yeah, because all all their good players were seniors last year.
Speaker: That don't mean shit. Well, like getting – and half of them got drafted. Michigan lost an entire team and still lost two games and beat their rival. Ohio State is currently and undefeated this year, and they lost everybody last year.
Speaker: Yeah. think' Super Saiyan, it's a garbage quarterback that everybody thinks he's the greatest thing since Jesus Christ. But he's really not that good at the end of the day.
Speaker: You've got yeah three of the best wide receivers in college football. I can't be the quarterback at Ohio State and look good. I was going to say, it's not the quarterback that makes the team look good. It's the running back and the receivers that make a quarterback look damn good. Ohio State also has a really good offensive line. So, I mean, yeah and when you can stand in the pocket for three days and that and just be like, hmm.
Speaker: And find one one of three guys. one of three best receivers in college football. Yeah, yeah yeahre gonna you're going to look really good. right But they're going to church it up be like, oh, he was deep in the pocket on that one. and he could have Did see that Antonio Brown got um brought back over from Dubai and that he's in prison for murder? Oh, my God.
Speaker: Antonio Brown's a genius. he' a listen He used to be one of the best receivers to ever play the game, but then he fell off. He lost his fucking mind, and then Tom Brady was like, come here, bro. Let me let me help you out. let me get you in let me let me Let me get you right. Let me get your mind right. you know and And then motherfucker lost his mind in Tampa, and then he started coming out, going at Tom Brady about how Giselle wanted to fuck him and how he could have.
Speaker: Bang Giselle, and I'm like, oh, Tom Brady could have you murdered, and nobody would ask any questions into him. That is like the godfather of fucking football, and you're over there. youre You are tempted fate, my friend. Now, I hate Tom Brady, but you can't take his tongue. Ginger whore mouth.
Speaker: Right now. You can't take the talent away from the guy. He's the best quarterback to ever play the game. That is a beautiful man with a lot of talent.
Speaker: i hated him when he I hated the fact that he was in New England for so long. But yeah you can't deny you you can't deny his greatness. I mean, i know a kid from Michigan that nobody wanted became one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.
Speaker: I just want to point out my all-time hero football player, O.J. Simpson. Fuck everybody. Yeah.
Speaker: You you just have to murder a white bitch. being that way Hey, there ain't no such thing as 25 to life. As long as you got the cash pay for Cochran.
Speaker: but but but <unk> Don't quit you must quit. I can take a glove. I can take a glove that fits my hand perfectly. And if I go,
Speaker: it don't fit it don't fit yeah exactly ah fuck i had and then that motherfucker had the audacity to write a book called if i did it it's like grave detail about everything that happened too it was like wild come on if i wrote a book that said if i did it like you goofy bastard i can't try him twice for the same crime nope nope
Speaker: mother Let's be honest. so OJ definitely killed them. 100%. I'm not denying that. like what How cocky do you got to be to get into a slow speed pursuit with a fucking LAPD, bro? Fucking great.
Speaker: Like, it wasn't even a high speed. was like a Sunday drive. It was like 45 mile an hour. was just Sunday casual drive. it's Down I-540 in fucking LA. It was ah, fuck yes. Nothing to see here. If that motherfucker would have had a bigger slip tank in the back of that Bronco, he would have been still driving.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, right. What killed me was when he when that book came out, if I did it. Are you serious right now?
Speaker: and It would have been like, all right, I actually did it. It should have been the title. but but about That been the last sentence of the book. The M. Night Shyamalan ding-dong twist was, yeah, I did it. I did it, yeah. The plot change. Yeah, right?
Speaker: It's like that Casey Anthony bullshit. oh ah
Speaker: Wow, yeah. Like, wow, damn. How the fuck do you get off on that? Like... the Right? Out of shadow of a doubt, girl, and you got off on that shit.
Speaker: Yeah, and she wasn't even trying to hide it. Even throughout the trial and the hearings and shit, like, she was smiling and laughing and all that. It's like... I'm ready and I'll fuck your day. I'll fuck your dad and kill your kids.
Speaker: ah um still what no I'm still waiting for her to get hit by a bus. what did you should put the all like Legitimately, i if we removed warning labels and she was the first person to go before me, that would be amazing. I wouldn't be mad.
Speaker: I'm just saying, like, someone, you know, put a black plastic bag over her head she couldn't figure it out if she just fucking went whoop. like and Happy little accidents.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. put the so so sorry Yeah. Welcome to the judicial system in America. Right?
Speaker: Yeah. Click. Something like that. We're going to need you to hurry up and win. right here. I guess ah how many how many more years does Trump have left? What has he got? Two years left?
Speaker: i No, one. Two. Two? Two. He got elected in 24, right? 2028. Is it 2028? i'll run I'll run in 2028. All right.
Speaker: You better. I'll write in a proxy vote for you. I'm going to run on the... hu I'm creating a new political party, the Glick Party.
Speaker: Oh. Oh, well, I'm definitely not voting for that. got to come up with a better name. It sounds like a giddy party. Yeah. The what? the baby oil. pardon He's like, it sounds like a giddy party to me. but Fidel Bombs over here is going to be my secretary of defense. Oh.
Speaker: like I will get defensive. I will. Secretary secretary of defending the baby oil. Yeah. Defensive or sassy, but either way. We're going to leave the heavy artillery to me. All right? the Just in the back, squirting two bottles of baby oil.
Speaker: That's not... This motherfucker's lathering up every soldier before they go into war. They can't grab you if you're slick. yeah like can' can't grab the i cant they They can't grab you if you're slick.
Speaker: Try to get them to wrestle bears and then lather the bears up in baby oil, too. what is that the yeah What is that for family guy? The deaf, naked guy with baby oil? What the hell do they call Yeah, it's He's like, you can't gank me. You can't gank me. He's like a deaf guy who runs around naked. He's covered in grease.
Speaker: Oh, and know yeah I know you guys have watched Family Guy. Don't leave me hanging here. Come on. Yeah, I've watched Family Guy. Dude, like you said Family Guy, I've sunk an old Greg, all right?
Speaker: got a post in my basement. ah Of course you were. Oh, yeah. Herbert. Herbert.
Speaker: Herbert the pervert. Oh, sweet. Jesus, Chris. Get your
Speaker: but That is my new favorite hero right there. Fuck you, Glick. You're number two now. Okay. yeah i thought I thought Herbert was here. i was like, hold on second. What the fuck? He looks like, shit, I don't need a popsicle. I don't even like popsicles. Yeah, Herbert and Fidel in the same room. What do you do?
Speaker: ah I'm going to fucking casually walk the fuck the opposite direction. people but sco yeah I'm just going to sit back and see what happens. but yeah He's getting touched inappropriately tonight. just Listen, Herbert. Hey, baby.
Speaker: a You start fucking with me, I'm going to take the fucking tennis balls off the bottom of your walker. all right That's all I'm saying. Oh, Peter, that's nasty.
Speaker: Oh, that's nasty. You got all the characters down, don't you, Hoss? Pretty much. I can do Peter, Joe, ah Cleveland, Herbert, no and that ah the gay guy with the mustache.
Speaker: K-Mag Fidel
Speaker: bitch I have a beard not just a mustache but you have a mustache too so do you I'm still working on it the one guy is like one guy he always says he says oh no he yeah oh ah yeah i yeah The deaf greased up gay guy that does the oh you know No, that's the neighbor. That's like one of the random. one
Speaker: a Never mind. anyway My favorite. of my One of my favorite characters from Family Guy that slept on a lot is Seamus.
Speaker: Yeah. Seamus the pirate. Yeah. shameus the pirate yeah
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: I'll hear you, Joe Swanson. Joe Swanson.
Speaker: Hey, Peter.
Speaker: ain't getting a bone in wheelchair. I love Patrick Warburton. He's the one. I love that dude. Oh my god. My favorite Joe moment is when they took him to the strip club.
Speaker: The strippers dancing and he's like, my legs don't work, damn it. Oh fuck. Mmm.
Speaker: world fuck
Speaker: o Or that episode when they're old and he takes Bonnie's legs and he goes, who wears short shorts? I wear short
Speaker: You got to fine tune those impressions so that you can just do your own thing with it, not just quote little snippets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Like, carrying full conversations and character? Fuck. I mean... Hell yeah, you bastards. I know how to do a really fucked up Elmo impersonation.
Speaker: im like Like, tickle me Elmo or kill me Elmo? Because either way, I'm going to be a little freaked out. Is it so bottle
Speaker: is it weird I want to touch myself right now? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. ah and
Speaker: Alright, I'm fapping it over here. Don't worry about it. This is a little fapping. No, baby. You got the fucked up Mickey Mouse. Oh, boy. Welcome to Mickey Mouse Cockhouse. Come inside, get cum inside. Alright, alright, alright. Hey, Toodles!
Speaker: ah post yeah all right all right all right hey specifically ah yeah
Speaker: Oh my god Like when they started making fun of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse like Mickey would say hey toodles and he's like It was like a It was supposed to mousecatool But it was a Fuck I can't remember what they called it now There was another one he was like It's the Mickey Mouse trap house Yeah That was a good one too And then Goofy's like all fucking like... Strongs out? Yeah.
Speaker: Nice. And then Donald comes in and is like... Yeah, he's like, you fucking killed him, man. Oh, my God. I wish I could do impersonations.
Speaker: but i thank god as all that i wish i could i wish i could do and personations About the only one I got Forrest Gump. about the best I got.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate i had to bring his name up, and jeff but Jeff was on here. He she was like, i can do a Christopher Walken. I was like, for real? That's cool. Hell yeah, do Christopher Walken. He was like, what the hell? she I'm Christopher Walken.
Speaker: Christopher Walken was not a 1920s gangster, you jackass. Yeah, ever. Ever. Here's more about, I need more cowbell. That was the worst Christopher goddamn walk-in I've ever seen for like an entire episode. I just talked like that. i was just like, we're here, see? We're doing a podcast, see?
Speaker: Christopher Walken here. I'm looking. The other day, skate caller called the other day, and they were, my pap had me answer the phone.
Speaker: and use one of my accents. So I put the phone on speaker and he was like, hello, sir. I'm calling about you your, your God accident that happened two years ago.
Speaker: And then I was like, no, buddy, I just got done fucking my goat.
Speaker: and He's like, he's like, what? I was like, yeah, you want to help me? i love it. They told him you're going to go fuck his goat next. he said I was like, yes, I love it And then he hung up on me real fucking quick.
Speaker: Dude, the best ones. I've got to where I answer the phone like on scam calls and shit. I always answer and I'm like, hard cocks and helicopters. We go up, you go down. How may we assist you? Yeah, I've done that before. I've answered that. City Morgue, you stab them, we slab them.
Speaker: um I'm looking for Chris to burn quick. ah he filled out a job application. I'm like, oh! Oh, shit! Yep.
Speaker: yes I'll have him call you. Sorry, my man. I put the phone down and like, stop answering my goddamn phone, you son of a bitch. Give me my phone. I love it. Oh, my God.
Speaker: that you get yeah god ah Yeah, Mr. Glick. Yeah, what's up? My bad. But I do that shit to my boss all the time. Like, he'll call me at some random ass hour.
Speaker: so it just depends on the mood I'm in. Depends on which line he gets. Like, jack Jack's meal bar and head ass speaking. How may I assist you? Or fucking, you know, just some random shit that I come up with on the fly.
Speaker: Like, hello? Never hello. Never. Hello? Is it me you're looking for? Get your dick out of my ass, you son of a bitch. Oh, hey, what's up?
Speaker: Usually that one gets him, all right? I'm just saying. I can see where that might rattle a cage or two. Oh,
Speaker: ah Never mind. I'll call you Monday. okay Or a good one is. oh how You call out sick and the boss is like, well, how sick are you? I'm fucking my sister. Is that sick enough for you, bitch? pick pick Your technician is still hanging tough. Appreciate you, man. Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Yeah. So, fun fact for the people here that don't know me, Glick knows, but I think I've actually legitimately been more interactive, well, minus the two-year sabbatical I took, Glick.
Speaker: You were on a sabbatical? I popped in when I could. you know that, you cunt. You came up here the other night, and you're like,
Speaker: Who are all these fucking people, Glick? Yeah, I'm like, where did everybody go? All these new faces. Fresh meat for me to pick on. This is my not the natural nonsense that I know. no, like, I was one of the very first people on one of the very first episodes this show ever did.
Speaker: Yeah, well, you were on you were um you were on you you and I met on the on one of my random TikTok lives. Yeah. yeah yep And we had a jam session after that. like Yeah, man. Yeah, we did. Hell yeah. yeah ye Yep. Because I think he was doing 90s country music that night.
Speaker: Actually, I remember this night very clearly because I was half drunk, not all the way. Glick was pretty fucked up, though. Yeah, yeah he was i was. I was feeling pretty good.
Speaker: Yeah, it was. But it was a 90s jam session. i was just sitting here like the entire time in the chatterbox just fucking zinging out songs. So he's like, dude, I gotta talk to you after the show because fuck yeah.
Speaker: And ever since then, I've not been a staple, but I've always been, I've been here in spirit, brother, alright? Yeah, always always in our hearts yeah yeah yeah yeah you see yeah yeah look here see chris perlaw yeah the kids they pay they pay with maize can you do the peter griffin laugh
Speaker: if you do the peter griffin laugh yeah yeah and
Speaker: I don't know. That kills me every time I watch Family Guy. Just laugh, dude. Yeah. Shut up, Meg. Shut up, Meg. Make me a sandwich.
Speaker: Two of my favorite Peter Griffin moments were make me a sandwich
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: two of my favorite peter griffin moments where throughout an entire episode every time somebody said meg he went and the other was and then the other one was the roadhouse episode where was just how keep everything everybody yeah youre like row hash
Speaker: It's just kicking everybody. Another good episode. When they have a flashback when Meg was born and Lois was like, her name is Megan.
Speaker: and It only had Mega on there and then ah lead Peter fucking wrote Tron. He's like, he's like, It's
Speaker: I love Peter Krimmage. He's such an idiot. I feel like I relate so much with him. I was going to say, i see the resemblance now. like I get it. there's There's no filter between the brain and the mouth. And he says whatever he feels like. it just Yeah, I am. Yeah, he is who he is. And he there's just no cares, no fucks.
Speaker: To be given. Ever. right I like how he keeps a ah different version of himself locked in the shed. He's like, can i have can I meet the family? You step too far. You will not get no Christmas.
Speaker: ah
Speaker: What the hell? Roadhouse. Roadhouse. I just kicked everybody in that episode. I think even Lois got kicked in that episode. Or that episode he tried to be a redneck and he kept spitting his snuff. Oh,
Speaker: He was like, me Jesus. It's what farmers do.
Speaker: yeah it's it's what farmers do yeah He spits in Stewie's mouth. Yeah. ah Oh, that's nasty.
Speaker: Oh, that's nasty, Peter. Oh, God. my wife My wife's name's Loretta. Wait. Can you do Quagmire, too?
Speaker: I can. I used to be able to somewhat do Quagmire, but my voice got me. My voice. High hip puberty. It fucked it up, okay? God damn it. Let me tell you something. voice got a little bit too deep. Do hang my... Wait, I'm sorry.
Speaker: All right. Giggity. Giggity. Giggity. All right. I'm all I'm going to say.
Speaker: all said So may you're almost 18, right? it' not good i've tried to I've been trying to learn Homer lately. That's what I've been trying to learn.
Speaker: yeah. I love good. I love good Simpsons episode. And I think i know years ago, spider pig, spider pig does whatever they can. Big enough Simpsons.
Speaker: The whole Fortnite season. this yeah you Yeah. Yeah. i I was shocked. My son, who is 12, got excited. And I'm like, what do you know about the Simpsons, bro? Don't worry about it, Dad. Don't worry about it, all right?
Speaker: Don't worry about it. He's cultured, unlike you. Simpsons. up remember Come on now, man. You know, I remember the first ever.
Speaker: right, father time. Settle it down, Graybush. Yeah, here. Yeah, i on the Tracy Allman show, when the Simpsons were introduced, and they were just little shorts, and it was piss-poor badly drawn, and piss-poor... Tom characters?
Speaker: Yeah, it was very bad. there and Are them characters the same characters that showed up in this in the episode of the Simpsons, where um the Simpsons become ghosts, and they see like another version of themselves?
Speaker: Yes, I believe so. Yeah, it was like the original character. Yeah, I did not like the design. yeah So if you if you go to the old YouTube box and you put in Tracy Ullman show Simpsons, you'll see the original Simpsons. That's where the Simpsons originated. And they were just shorts. And then it became show and they got better animation and they got the the voices were terrible on there. Yeah. It sounded like he had Down syndrome.
Speaker: Marge was... They all sat they all had Down syndrome. Marge sounded like she was a fucking 12-pack-a-day kind of gal. You know what I'm saying? You guys remember like the first like ever episode of Family Guy?
Speaker: Yeah. yeah That shit. I watched that, and I'm like, ew Yeah, Lois was blonde. Yeah, Lois was blonde and fucking...
Speaker: stewie's head wasn't football ball yeah yeah
Speaker: man every now and again i'll find myself in a binge washing session i'll fucking go from fucking first season to last season of family guy i like robot chicken that shit was funny yeah jam for years yeah my favorite skit was the octopus prime one he's sitting there railing that chick and then he transforms Autobots, roll out.
Speaker: Autobots, roll out.
Speaker: And your girlfriend's were like, why? Why do you do this to yourself? She's passed out. oh oh Well, you keep looking at her. as I was looking, was like, she lice out cold, dude. just You guys know who Bobby Lee is?
Speaker: Yeah, the Asian comedian. Oh, I fucking love Bobby Lee. He does, what is that podcast he does? that Bad Friends. Best Best Friends or something, yeah, yeah. but Hey, that's the best skit that I heard him do.
Speaker: Because you know what they call the shit they put between logs in the log cabin, right? It's chink. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and he's walking around like Home Depot and shit, asking for it because he couldn't find it. And then, like, the guy's like, oh, shit.
Speaker: Oh, shit. Yeah, that the guy who does that podcast with him. Andrew Santiago. Yeah. Every time he does the Asian accent, I think Bobby Lee dies a little bit inside. Yeah, he's like...
Speaker: jack I'm Bobby Mada. I'm Bobby Mom. I'm Bobby Mada.
Speaker: Bobby told him one time what he asked him a question and Bobby was like, don't you dare. Don't you fucking do it. he let me right back He's like, what?
Speaker: yeah he was like what I just got you a gift as best friends do. And then he went into the Asian camp. character, and Bobby just lost his shit. He was like, this motherfucker...
Speaker: He's like, good on my diet. it
Speaker: ah yeah i like Bobby Lee. but i i i was in it I'm old, so I was introduced to Bobby Lee on Mad TV. I like... um My favorite like old school comedians would probably be like Eddie Murphy
Speaker: Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz is is was, is, and will always be amazing. Joey Diaz has fucking stories because Joey Diaz was connected back in the day.
Speaker: I love Joey Diaz. He's like, you only need three bad motherfuckers and you can take over them. You don't need a whole bunch of friends. You just three need three badass motherfuckers.
Speaker: Joey Diaz. I like Eddie Murphy. Old school Eddie Murphy was good, man. i like you know Eddie Murphy were all When Joey Diaz was on Rogan and they did them smell salts and they were fucking dancing around and shit.
Speaker: Fucking Joe Rogan. You suck, Joe Rogan. I'm better than you, Joe. Joe had Charlie Sheen on his podcast yeah like a couple weeks ago.
Speaker: I don't know if that's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm going to need you to step up your A game here. I'm going to need you get... to charlie Or someone. Someone cool. and I'm to get Corey Feldman.
Speaker: just Just call him Ray J. Ray J. He's not doing anything. I can get Ray J on here. The only thing Ray J is famous for is being Brandy's brother and fucking Kim Kardashian.
Speaker: Yeah. Pretty much.
Speaker: Kim Kardashian's mom looks like a Barbie though. Kim Kardashian's dad looks like a fucking man. ah Just throw that out there.
Speaker: Just sad. That's fucking funny as fuck. huh
Speaker: I mean, if we're we're telling truths, you know. Yeah.
Speaker: The first name Bruce just throws it off for a guy. All right. Yeah. I forgot about that. I didn't i forgot that Bruce Jenner. Yeah. Kim K's dad.
Speaker: Well, it's and Well, I don't know about dad anymore. You know, I mean. Yeah, it's more like his mom. Not even that. like It's more like the uncle that no one wanted to admit was an uncle because he touched everyone when they were children kind of guy.
Speaker: You know what I mean? like they're like Like Uncle Ruckus at band camp? Touche. Touche. Like fucking down south Alabama fucking your mama's cousin's sister's daughter's fucking grandmommy.
Speaker: I
Speaker: i literally i literally walk away long enough take a piss, and this is what I come back to. Well, you missed it. So, Big Hoss is like, Kim Kardashian's mom looks like a Barbie. I was like, oh, yeah?
Speaker: Kim Kardashian's dad looks like him man. but
Speaker: that' That's she's a nice lady. She's a nice lady. He is a nice lady, I'm sure.
Speaker: Did you know he was on the OJ Simpson board too? Back in the day? Yeah. Yeah. Like for, because Bruce used to be an attorney.
Speaker: So like during the whole OJ Simpson case, Bruce was one of the top three attorneys on OJ's case. He wasn't an attorney. He was a fucking Olympic athlete, but he was on OJ Simpson's fucking attorney team.
Speaker: So explain that. He was the Olympic athlete. He wasn't on the, uh, he wasn't on the, uh, hold up. all fan Hold up. You're thinking of, uh, you're thinking of the, you're thinking of Jenner or not Jenner. Um,
Speaker: Kardashian. Robert Kardashian. Which one's their actual dad?
Speaker: Okay, so Kim's is Robert. Kim's dad is Robert Kardashian. He was on the defense. Yeah, okay. There you go. I had it a little backwards on that one. My bad. Kim and the Sasquatch and the other one are Kardashians and then Kylie, the youngest, is a Jenner.
Speaker: I don't know how talcum powder produced that, but you know, whatever works for it.
Speaker: yes What is it? what isn't there Isn't there three sisters and then Kylie? Or is it Kim, Courtney, and Kylie? I believe it's Kim, Courtney, and Kylie. Courtney's a goddamn Sasquatch that had a lot of plastic surgery and then went from Sasquatch to weirdly hot.
Speaker: Why? Post a child for fucking Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Have you seen my have you seen Miley Cyrus any like nowadays? Does she still look like a crack whore? No, she yeah got but she got plastic surgery and now she looks like... Oh, now she's trying to look like Dolly Parton.
Speaker: Did she get big boobs? No, she got like a facelift and now she looks like real fake.
Speaker: Hannah Montana could have afforded big fake boobs. Yeah. But then, you know, Cyrus ruined it. Yeah.
Speaker: I have a fan of Miley Cyrus' voice. I like her voice. She's got a great singing in voice. but that's i like her voice when she does country music.
Speaker: See, look.
Speaker: i that Wow. Oh, my God. That bitch looks like Plastic 2.0. That's like fucking Lil' Kim turning Asian. who
Speaker: Lil' Kim was... black rapper black female rapper from like the 90s hold on hold on hold on it was like little mikey trying to go white moy
Speaker: mikey wait oh never mind wrong mikey i'm thinking jackson asshole jackson had uh i know he had the skin pigmentation he had um he had erectile dysfunction i mean not he had m you have Infilago.
Speaker: Infilago. She's asleep. can't help me. Hold go. Vita Vita Vita she vi a igo what vi igo yeah there we go thank you john wals you are welcome bit divide up but long read a veil had Trust me, I know he had the whole fucking... skinm Defensive end for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is what Michael Jackson had. Via Veda.
Speaker: Via Veda. Did y'all see the trailer for the new Michael Jackson movie? His fucking nephew is playing him and i and he looks just like him, bro.
Speaker: It's scary. It's like when ah Ice Cube's son played him in the NWA movie. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Dude, have you saw the, like, fucking video Ice Cube did where he brought out Eazy-E's, like, fucking son?
Speaker: Dude, Eazy-E's son, identical. Identical to Eazy-E. Or was it actually Eazy-E and Eazy-E didn't die of Femonia? Well, he di died of AIDS.
Speaker: No, he died of Femonia, you jackass. I'm pretty it was AIDS. It was 100% AIDS because Suge Knight injected him with a syringe full of AIDS.
Speaker: there as As the story goes. All I've ever heard is
Speaker: oh AIDS. When EZ first died, they said that he he caught the cold and it was pneumonia that killed him. but Everybody was like, No, he's got AIDS. And then it came out that like in one of those infamous Suge Knight shakedowns and Easy was like, nah, fuck you, Suge.
Speaker: And Suge had a vial full of blood i like AIDS infected blood and this was like injected it into him and he was like, now you got the AIDS sucker.
Speaker: touch fair Dude, Suge Knight was a ruthless motherfucker though. They hung Vanilla Ice upside down by his feet over a balcony. Yeah.
Speaker: But you know Vanilla Ice is doing pretty damn good for himself these days. Unless you watch, that's my boy. yeah Shit, I owe them bitches money when that song's played.
Speaker: No, you know Vanilla Ice is... Homeboy had a reality television show. like he's the He's an accomplished house flipper or contractor. like Dude has made a fuck ton of money flipping houses and remodeling houses. He used to hate that whole Vanilla Ice thing.
Speaker: you know He became famous. and Now he goes out and does We Are the 90s tours. and He sings his Vanilla Ice Ice Baby and he does the and he does the ninja wrap and you know Makes a few bucks. and and Now he's embracing who he was back in the day. and Ninja rap is still the shit. I don't give a fuck what anybody says.
Speaker: Ninja rap is my shit from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And Haas is looking at me real confused because he don't even know. No, I'm just i'm thinking about something. Thinking about masturbating to midget porn again?
Speaker: No. Yeah. He's thinking about masturbating you, Click. No. I mean, I'm used to that.
Speaker: Oh, God. thinking about the second what
Speaker: It happens, Johnny. Who's got a goddamn crack court going right now? A celebrity that I've reached. and you have You still ain't famous, trust me. and you and you have ah you have an amazing, glorious beard. You're just used to people jacking off to you.
Speaker: I saw you walking around the woods by my house. so He caught you on that trail camera, all right? Fuck off, Bigfoot. I'm world champion hide-and-seek.
Speaker: I tried to catch the buck, and I caught You got a Glick. You got a Glick, Squatch. Oh, God. Like, I know that. but this roman around That's Glick.
Speaker: What's he doing? on a deal with best Why is Glick walking up behind that cow like that? That's weird. but but but What are you doing to Bambi? Leave him alone.
Speaker: I don't know. What happens in the woods stays in the woods. It's like Vegas, all right? Yeah. I was dropping off dabs. It's like Easter. i hid I hid dabs in the woods for you, Johnny. You have to come find them.
Speaker: All right. and Settle it down. As tempting as that is, i don't think and that... yeah yeah what's real What's going Easter egg hunt on the Appalachian Trail?
Speaker: i have signs I have signs from Johnny's back from the back of Johnny's house to the woods that say free dabs this way. Keep going. yes You're getting warmer. up than every bungi And every three nights you just find him out there wandering around in the woods. Later I'm to fall into a punji pit.
Speaker: No, no, no. No, no, you're going to fall into the squash pits, what you're going to fall into. Oh, somehow that sounds even worse. Oh, it's probably not better. I would would hope for a fucking plunge pit at that point. At that point, I'm going to take the sticks with the shit smeared on them.
Speaker: No, no, no, no. I'm like the collector, and i need to add a barrel bongs to my collection. Oh, remember that fucking movie. Oh.
Speaker: You guys remember the movie called The Thing? wow Yeah, man. If you watch the trailer for the new Predator, Badlands movie, it's kind of thing yeah it's got a thing skull on his trophy case.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: and those were like those were like the three biggest competitors back then though like yeah so if you any anytime they show the like the predator trophy case that you got to look up these youtube videos where they show these you gotta see some of the skulls or some of the trinkets that are on these predator trophy cases because i can't i can't remember what movie it is but one of the movies has uh jason voorhees mask And it's got Freddy Krueger's claws.
Speaker: So that was ah Jason versus Freddy. And there was a scene in there where the Predator was present.
Speaker: No, yeah. like there's like They throw in all these movie Easter eggs when they show trophy cases from these Predator movies. And it's just like... that's kind of dope It's kind of dope.
Speaker: This is crazy. Um... This is also ah another crazy connection in the in the film industry. um The TV show Stranger Things yep is in the same universe as Predator, the the very first Predator movie, and Michael Myers.
Speaker: Oh, hell yeah. I didn't know that. Neither did I. The only thing I know from Stranger Things is Homeboy went out playing Master of Puppets, and he learned to play that song.
Speaker: yeah like two years before the song came out according to the stranger things universe and when the actual song came out it was like two years prior
Speaker: and everybody was critiquing it it was just like hmm well played stranger of things well played something like i don't know man
Speaker: other like ah at i don' know and it No, you are wrong. like I don't know. My kids like my my my daughters were into Strangers. i don't know if they still are or not. I don't know, man. Now that Millie Bobby Brown is a raging feminazi cunt bag.
Speaker: suffer The final season of Stranger Things comes out November 26th. Isn't it like two parts? like They do one part and then... so first part The first part will come out November 26th.
Speaker: And then the second part will come out um December 2nd. And then the finale is December 11th.
Speaker: Okay. But each episode of the new season is going to be two hours and 15 minutes long. Jesus fucking Christ. and Take me back to the Titanic, will you? Fuck.
Speaker: Ah, damn. What's up, Dave? boom What up, dude? I like shows that have long episodes like that.
Speaker: i do to a point, but you've got remember, I grew up on watching Titanic on VHS, and each of the fucking tapes was an hour and a half long. It was fucking bullshit. hey
Speaker: Fuck you, bro. I can bring your black ass up here. The new Avengers movie coming out next year is going to be three and a half hours long.
Speaker: so That's a movie. That's a movie. It's not a TV episode. It's two hours long. Yeah, but each one of them is two hours long. Yeah, there's eight eight episodes that are two hours long.
Speaker: That's 16 hours of fuck my life, bro.
Speaker: I'm just going to throw that out there. 16 hours of, yeah, I'm good. know Hard pass.
Speaker: ah Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, I don't know if I bring myself to watch 16 hours of a show without it actually being in like 30 to 40 minute increments. You know what I mean? i't know Yeah. There's, there's a lot of time.
Speaker: Come on. look and I know.
Speaker: I know this and you expect me to know it randomly. Go up here and sing it and then I'll know it. um Get your ass on the stage.
Speaker: get your ass on the stage I was like, oh, I want to watch a movie. But it's kind of late, so I'm just going to watch a television show. And then I'll watch four episodes of a television show that are... I could have watched this movie and just took my ass to bed. Yeah, that part.
Speaker: I knew that. Instead of being up for... You know, an hour and a half, two hours. I'm up for four fucking hours. Hey, hey you were up for 28 and a half hours in a day and a half. Calm down. I was up for 28 hours in the last 12 hours.
Speaker: or c incredibled You overachieving motherfucker. you i hey Go bigger. Go home. okay ma Hey, it's like when you show up on a job and they want you to have 20 years experience. All right. and You're only 20.
Speaker: Overtime, bitch. Overtime. got a lot of experience you'll ever need, baby. any like It's like the old saying goes, you know. Jack of all trade, master of none, but still always better than a master of one.
Speaker: Yes, sir. That's this guy, right? Yeah. Right meow as well. Right meow. Meow. Yeah. Did you just say meow? Yeah. food alcohol and then removing you help with to ah do I look like I'm drinking milk out of a all him am i hopping around playing a card i got a face at night <unk>cker was on the hu he was like
Speaker: who's like why ah
Speaker: You find something funny here? and Did you say meow? Listen, meow. You know why i pulled you over meow? thank you literallyine and literally and bar where he goes The key to life is in that was the russian people that one doesn't count they were fun they were a fun couple though because they translated the whole johnny chimpo show who wants a mustache right oh yeah always never been to mexico you've always ever been to mexico
Speaker: It's Farma. Farma, what's that restaurant you like with all the weird shit on the walls? oceananaticus Oh, Oh. The next motherfucker who says shenanigans, I swear to God, I'm going to pistol whip them.
Speaker: I got a can of snuff. I got to go get it. he said he's He's like, you know what? I'm not going to say I got a i shenanigans. Fuck you guys.
Speaker: they're They're talking about pistol whipping bitches up in here. He was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, rookie. This one's yours. Yeah. There's a bar of soap. Hey, you can be car Ram and I can be car Rod.
Speaker: Ram Rod. Ram Rod. Say it. Say it. I'm not saying it, Farva. The best one is at the fast food restaurant.
Speaker: The order is available. It's like... He's like, tell him it's for a cop. They're like, oh, Rock Lee, what up? He's like, is that what I said to you?
Speaker: Yeah, ah, fuck it. He pulls the tab off. Fucking Coke spills out. Oh, you burger bitch. What up, Rocky?
Speaker: What's going on, man? Man, those jerks and go. Yeah. ah Well, he's mostly stroking. He definitely ain't poking nothing.
Speaker: Tell your mama said what's up. I was going to say, she's probably more apt to be there than Sleeping Beauty. You know what I'm saying? Mama's crashed out. I don't know how she does it. She is lights
Speaker: out. With our emotions going on, she is dead to the world, man. she probably got tired of like the third fucking comment is like you know what i'm just gonna go to bed i'm gonna tune out i'm gonna go to bed she'll usually so usually sit up and watch the whole show and be in the background the entire time she's a fan she likes watching me she likes watching me in my element sucking dick got it yep this element i'm not sucking dick
Speaker: hu I thought had to charge for shit like that. ah Oh my god, Johnny. Who lets this motherfucking communist pig up on my panel every night? You do?
Speaker: Fucking Fidel Bong's down here.
Speaker: We're allies. Leave us alone. home Dude, you've got your, you've got like a whole full-ass studio set up. You got the world up behind you.
Speaker: Yeah, i've been I've been working here for the last couple weeks. That's why I've missed a few shows. Respect. Respect. And you know, Glick, what it means if my phone is up.
Speaker: I know what it means. And I've seen the productivity on on the on the YouTube. Trust me. I've been working on a New music, there's Glick's House of Music has been kind of... So you're staying there choking like you do nightly?
Speaker: No, Glick's House of Music I do on Tuesdays, but I've been working on a couple projects a couple projects that are not interviews. I do have couple potential interviews lined up, but I want to want to get these projects out of the way nightly.
Speaker: I didn't know they were going to be – one is what what I want to do, which is not that big of a secret, is all the new music that what my former guests have done. And then certain people like Zay Grassley, who dropped three songs last month.
Speaker: Rocky's been dropping music. James Luker's been dropping music. Jewel's been dropping music. like Lift the Curse has been dropping music. like There's so much new music out there for my former guests.
Speaker: that it's become a fucking project to download stuff so I can do a Glicks House of Music where I play DJ and just play a fuck ton of music. And then there's something I want to do with the trend that's going on right now.
Speaker: That's probably not going to score me a lot of points as far as musicians go. But at the end of the day, as ah as a guy who does a music show, I'm I got to give props to it, and I got to show it love because they're killing it. And that's the AI remixes. And I was like, man, I can hit Rocky up, and I know Rocky can actually do this shit without the AI.
Speaker: You sound like R2-D2. No, no, no, no, awake Speaking of that, Glick. No, I'm talking about, like, taking, like, Tupac. Yeah. Hit him up.
Speaker: and making it an outlaw country song or taking backstreet boys bye bye bye and making it an 80s hairband song or yeah all i want to hear is a badass remix to i want it that way There's a lot. There's some AI out there that's fucking great.
Speaker: So, like, I was telling Kayla about it. i was like, I bet I could give Rocky a playlist and be like, do this rock, do this country, do this R&D.
Speaker: And Rocky could do it. No AI. That's just how talented Rocky is. yeah But the trend's out there, and I got to kind of give it some love. And if I catch heat from artists, well...
Speaker: Maybe you guys shouldn't leave me to my own devices and stop denying me interviews. wait group
Speaker: but that's mainly a dig And that's mainly a dig at Ohio artists because fuck you, I'm in your backyard, Ohio musicians, and you guys snub me.
Speaker: Well, I mean, I'd snub you too if I was in your backyard. I'd shoot you if you were in my backyard. I did i would shoot myself if was in your backyard. and I'd be like, oh, I'd fall in this low.
Speaker: Yeah, right? It's like, fuck, I'm here already? God damn it. Like, K-Mag, welcome to Ohio. We have Stand Your Ground and the Castle Doctrine. I'm going to put you down.
Speaker: I'm going to put you out of your misery, buddy, because I know you've reached a new low that here in my backyard. That's fair. do this out of love, not out of hate. I do this out of love, brother. It's like, trust me, this hurts me more than it hurts you as you shoot me in the leg. I'm like, no, one don't. This fucking kills me. This this fucking hurts.
Speaker: I'm going to shoot you in the leg so you can't run, and then I'm going to shoot you in the gut and let you bleed out. I'll come and hold you and something. I'm coming to hold you and crush your hair. Oh, DM.
Speaker: Tell him I said I always always love him. This breaks my heart. I hate that you made me do this. It's your fault, by the way. This is not my fault.
Speaker: Are you sure? i feel like it would be your fault. Look, if i've if I've learned one thing in the last couple few years, People don't kill people. Guns kill people. You're exactly right.
Speaker: Just ask all the libtards. They'll tell you. Look what you made me do. Look what what you made me make this gun do to you.
Speaker: The pew pew, I had no control. The pew pew had a mind of its own.
Speaker: All the ticked... Oh, Gris Wintergreen, that reminds me of fucking high school and bad decisions. hey Yeah, it does. yeah If you know, you know.
Speaker: i'm having a PTSD moment of... yeah Yeah, pretty bad. I gotta fuck out of these. Strawberry Boone's Farm and Mad Dog. Oh, 2020, son.
Speaker: With a big old Chosky, a fucking Grizzwinter, fucking Skull Wintergreen, and a little... I got a shit ton of these. Zinnies? Mm-hmm. Fuckin'.
Speaker: I got a shit load of cigarettes. Cigarettes, cinnamon, mint, and spearmint. Why? Why do people go for, like, the shit that hurts my gums?
Speaker: Oh, dude. Fuckin', first time I tried those, I damn near to get my blood pressure through the roof.
Speaker: like For me, like if i if I go back to chewing, it's Copenhagen Long Cut Original. like That's all I've ever chewed. That's all I've ever chied, son. It's not Copenhagen. It's Chokinghagen.
Speaker: ah It chokes bitches, apparently. that's That's what we called it growing up. I know i was a Copenhagen guy. I loved me a good Copenhagen back when I was there. Dude, my God.
Speaker: Joking getting growing up, though, like he's just said, you know, like I i did. I started on like Skoll and then I fucking actually started on Timberwolf Wintergreen. Fun fact.
Speaker: back Yeah. And then I went to Skoll original and then from Skoll original, I jumped up to Kodiak and then I went to fucking Copenhagen.
Speaker: No, you didn't jump up from Skull to fucking Kodiak. You dropped down. Well, yeah, technically, yes, it is a drop down. But Kodiak had more nicotine in it, so I got the high a a little better than I did out of Skull. I was like, oh, I can't smoke in school. I guess I'll get a can of Copenhagen. cousin i know That's I would do. I only did Skull if I ran out of Copenhagen.
Speaker: Oh, all Rock Lee's got one here. Oh, there's a Glick Swat. Is this done? Is this complete? Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Play it. Play it. Everybody shut the fuck up.
Speaker: This is Bigfoot, don't give this shit. Happy Jake Man, they call me Godzilla. I'm in Africa, then come gorilla.
Speaker: Who is Sasquatch? Please check the watch. This is Bigfoot, don't give this shit. Happy Jake Man, they call me Godzilla.
Speaker: Cover your ears, noise warning. The flight takes off.
Speaker: Son of a bitch! I'm not ready!
Speaker: I love that you kind of had it there, dude.
Speaker: i can I get behind that right there. That has some bangers in it. That's going to be the outro on Saturday nights.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm down. Okay, so, okay. I'm sorry, Rocky. I'm going to... if You can send me that as is or if you want to tweak it a little bit and add a little nonsensical nonsense-ish in there. yeah i me get the out but If you want to leave it as is, that's going to be the new outro for Saturday nights.
Speaker: I have no intention of messing with that. I made that for you because you challenged I know. I love that. um want All the viewers can know. like He challenged me and I followed through. You've got to send me that so that I can upload it. whether it's in ah if We can do a video form, which doesn't have to be much.
Speaker: so that I can upload it and make it the outro. want to make it the outro of this show. Yeah, buddy. I already got the intro by Rock Lee.
Speaker: Anybody who's here heard it for the last four years, I want to make the outro of that as well. ah I got you, man. And now i have it I want it that way on my list, apparently. So thanks. You're welcome. You are welcome.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: we gotta get We got to get you vocalizing, man. Man. oh I've been working on, Glick. I recorded two songs today.
Speaker: Yeah, we got to get you singing, bro. You're going to see, man. I'm gonna i'm just saying. you need to I swear. Calm it down, Wanda. Trust me, man. i've been I worked on two songs today for a project. And all of it is being released on Spotify. All of it.
Speaker: Nice. Well, we also get you here to Ohio so we can do some. vi little farm wow ba All yeah.
Speaker: Gaming.
Speaker: our boys sure white well now i gonna hop on i gotta do some gaming shit so oh yeah i a yaing but Porn!
Speaker: and You're just jealous you can't do porn. Congratulations. You're stupid in two languages. and It does do porn. yeah I subscribe to it. Yeah. Six months now.
Speaker: Hey, Grindr doesn't count, Rock Lee. Just follow... Just follow... Just follow the... Follow Lazy Glicks on OnlyFans. He put it for free, and I still was like, nah, I'm gonna pay. This motherfucker... This motherfucker fell so bad for you, he's like, nah, dog. No, that's...
Speaker: That's a real friend right there. He's like, nah, I'm going to create a new account so i get so I can pay for it so I can support my boy. That's a real friend. Got you, man. You learned something.
Speaker: Footfinder is not the page for you. That's all I'm saying. hey I mean, people have been trying to get molds on my feet for years. Now I'm putting that shit on the internet. I'm just saying.
Speaker: Hmm. Of course, you're Bigfoot, you're Sasquatch. Everybody wants that, man. World, art the greatest... World-renowned hider from everything and everybody. The greatest hide-and-seek champion of all time.
Speaker: Sasquatch, this guy right here. You can look, but you'll never find me. God, that reminds me of fucking Wedding Crashers.
Speaker: You can run, but you can't hide.
Speaker: There's that one scene, God, I wish I could remember that entire scene. we With Vince Vaughn, well, obviously, a lot of scenes. Vince Vaughn and Big Nose Wilson brother, Owen, was it Owen? Yeah, Owen. He was talking about Granny, where oh where you where Granny was like molested Vince Vaughn, and he was like, oh, yeah, it was.
Speaker: uh oh my god i can't remember that no no no you got that backwards she molested uh and she's he's like she made me fill her tits yeah oh yeah bit yeah and i was like yeah but how were they yeah
Speaker: oh my god all right i am gonna hop off here for the night good seeing everybody That's good to see you, brother. Appreciate you. I gotta go take a piss. I'm gonna leave the two most quietest guys on the panel to their own devices. Yeah.
Speaker: While I gotta take a piss. I will probably be back next Saturday. Now that i'm yeah going umm I'm back on a normal schedule so I can fucking actually start doing shit again.
Speaker: I'll probably be here. No shit? I fucking don't.
Speaker: o yeah no yeah Yeah, I'll be here. Yeah, yeah. Hold on, let me check my schedule. yep No, it says I'll be here next Saturday. Yep, I'm right there. yeah i'm pretty yeah Yeah, I'll have my people call your people.
Speaker: but Don't worry, I'll have my people also get in contact with your people. you know it's It's a whole scheduling conflict kind of thing. We'll do lunch. ah Dinner at Morelio's on Thursday. Fuck off.
Speaker: Morelio's sounds fancier. I'll wear my good shirt. Yeah, yeah. where Wear your good shirt and your fucking homeless shoes. We'll be all right.
Speaker: I'll wash my shirt. Thank God. But no, I'll holler at y'all. Hey, man. Much love to you, brother. Have a good night. Later. yeah I'm going to go take a piss. I'm going to leave you two to your own devices.
Speaker: ah That's going to be fun. johnny scares me he's got a crazy look in his eyes right now johnny's like it's just my face click i was looking over that way something i don't even know ah johnny's like there's girls in my if i was pointed out that way there's there's invisible beans in my house they're jumping across the wall yeah
Speaker: You're telling me to smash the wall with floodgamer. Do it. You know what? i guess that's what we're going to do. I agree with those people. I'll be right back.
Speaker: Oh. Johnny, you're in charge. Oh, boy.
Speaker: Welcome to Mickey Mouse, cock-ass.
Speaker: Okay, you've been revoked. You're not in charge anymore.
Speaker: What are you working on, Johnny? Oh, shit. Well, I'm glad you asked. Let me see here. I got a couple of things I've been working on tonight.
Speaker: Some classic stuff. Might not look like much right now, but what I'm trying to do is I'm ah getting some roses done. oh Oh, I see.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. And then... the multiple steps that I'm working on. I'm actually also working on head sculpt that I have to get the other head part of the head done.
Speaker: Oh, um that's sick. Hell yeah. Thank you, bro. Yeah, that's sick. That's sick tattoo idea, too. It's going to be some classic Japanese when I get done. Heck yeah, man.
Speaker: I get that tattoo. 100%. Thank you. I'm thinking about like, I don't know, I might like either mirror the other side perfectly or like make some gripping effect going across the page.
Speaker: Yeah. Hell yeah. I think both of those would be sick ideas and then you could just, you could branch off of that like, you know, based off of the person who's getting the tattoo, but that's sick, dude.
Speaker: Oh yeah, thank you, bro. Appreciate that. Yeah, of course. The Sasquatch is back. Oh, boy.
Speaker: Glick, we totally told you to go fuck yourself while you were gone. I did while I was gone. It was pleasurable.
Speaker: Oh, God. Oh. Oh. ah Oh. Yeah, that's exactly what I sounded like, too, Johnny.
Speaker: Oh. yeah You are a great lover, Glee.
Speaker: Meanwhile, the other person was just...
Speaker: Also, who said they were conscious?
Speaker: Yeah, man, I was in bed, but that but ah i really you should pay attention. you should pay You are a fan of this band. You're a fan, Glick.
Speaker: This is a very popular song. I thought you'd get excited as soon as you saw the first... I know. i like i'm trying I'm like, why do I know these lyrics? win it When it comes out, you'll know.
Speaker: man everyone Rocky's like, you're a fan of this band. It's going be Metallica. I don't know. I'm going to fly to
Speaker: Utah or Idaho or wherever the hell he said. I'm going to be in his backyard throwing rocks. Not at his window, but at his I fucking hate Metallica, bro.
Speaker: Oh my god. I was like, why do I know these? I can't think of it. Check the private chat. Check the private chat.
Speaker: I'm checking the private chat.
Speaker: o Oh! Oh!
Speaker: I'm doing some fun stuff, man. um you Are you going to do vocals? I'm doing them myself. ah ah Finally Finally Finally
Speaker: Hell yeah Yeah It was killing me like I'm like you do I know you know you know it That's why I was like There's no way that he doesn't know that Like there's no way You're such big fan There's no way At least it wasn't Metallica. that would have been if i If it was Metallica, by the way, and then you said that, I'd be like, ah shit. but a Shit, man. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: ah um out but yeah metala does have a couple songs that i that i like yeah
Speaker: um
Speaker: I think.
Speaker: What the fuck just happened? I didn't see something. Now my now my my mike curiosity is getting the best of me.
Speaker: Oh. You trying to find the song? Yeah, my, my, hearing I think I know the song.
Speaker: Private a chat. Go to the private chat.
Speaker: ah Yes, that's what I, okay. I didn't even check the private chat yet. ah Okay, okay, okay. Hold on second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.
Speaker: I thought it was that or or or ah thought it was that or Sandpaper. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another great one. Another great one. Yeah. like that was that was that That's what had me fucked up because I knew it wasn't Judas.
Speaker: Yeah. And I'm like, oh, is it Sandpaper or is it? So I had to check the lyrics. Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's a real good one.
Speaker: It's really challenging. It's really fun, man. And I like the way that everything is sitting right now in the mix without even mixing. So I thought, oh, like, yeah, man, I know one person who's going to thoroughly enjoy this, by the way.
Speaker: Goddamn you, Scotto. You're not in the chat. You're not on the panel. And you're fucking grabbing screen grabs. Wait, he took a screen grab? Yeah, my...
Speaker: He's quick, too, man. He's like, boom. He's on the screen, Greg. How's Scotto doing, man? i don't know. Scotto, how are you doing? why don't you come up here and answer that question? Scotto. Yeah, it's been a minute, man.
Speaker: a
Speaker: Nice. Now I'm excited, bro. Yeah, you there's more to be excited about, man. I'm excited to hear you doing... like Obviously, the remixes are fun, and and we and and I enjoy the remixes, but I'm really excited to hear you back singing.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, Scotto! it Yeah, um I have i have ah some some really cool things in the works. good I'm very excited. 2026 going to rock. 2026
Speaker: really is going to be the year i put out the most music i ever have put out ever and i'm just tired of it sitting on my computer and i'm like you know what it's time to like just go for it but i'm like you glick i get a little i get a little analytical about some stuff and whatnot in your head man you get in your head and you and you hold back and and and i understand i know i hold back like i'm i've been holding back on this whole network thing there's so many things that i want to i i just And i I get it.
Speaker: That's, that's my problem. I, but I have felt like the right people were in place and the right people weren't in place. And I still, yeah now I'm overanalyzing it. and I don't even know if the right people are even in place now.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. That's overthinking it. And at the end of the day, you're like outside of, and I, and I hate to say this and I know this makes me sound like an asshole.
Speaker: I don't give a fuck what they're doing because it's not about them at the end of the day. It's about me. So I got to focus on what I'm doing. And I, you know, and I gotta, I gotta come with my a game. I don't have my game then, which is why Glick's house of music has kind of been bopping around on hiatuses and popping up and doing random shows is because like, dude, if I'm coming, I got to come correct.
Speaker: you know Because at the end of the day, I am the network. I am the face. I am the voice. And and and and and it revolves around me. got time to worry about what these other fucking idiots are doing.
Speaker: I love them. Don't get me wrong. Mike, Britt, Wally, I love them to death. But I can't put my energy in what they're doing. I got to put my energy in what I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah. so No, it is what it is, man. I'll tell you what, though. like see It's going to be a lot of fun, and it's going to a little all over the place. I can see i can see everyone but you, because you've just been a part of it from the beginning. You might have like you might have a situation where there's some metal stuff coming out, and a lot. like I'm talking 18, 19, 20, old school. like Or not old school, but like how it used to be with
Speaker: albums And then seeing in like two months later, something dropped completely different. Something that you're not even like, like, what the heck? Like, why would you go from that to that, that quickly? You know? right what i I tell, I tell everybody you all the time, like, you know, like Kayla, you know, I, she's been introduced to a little, like, ah like the remixes, but a little bit of your vocals. I'm like, this is a cat that can literally do everything.
Speaker: And I tell people that all the time, like if they've never heard you, I'm like, Rocky is a guy who can literally
Speaker: sing every country, rock, rap. Rocky can do it all. So to to bounce from genre to genre is is going to be amazing. And then you're going to find that genre.
Speaker: that you're going to hit and blow up and you're going to be like, and it's just like, Hey man, roll with it. You know, like post, like, hate to say but like, I love post Malone. I'm a big fan of post Malone. Yeah. When posty came out, he was doing that rap whatnot. And then as he got popular, he swayed in the country and everybody's like, Holy shit. This, this, and he's good.
Speaker: He's a good country musician. yeah Darius Rucker got famous from Hootie and the fucking Blowfish. and Then years later, he dropped a country album.
Speaker: and It was like, yeah and we get famous you can get famous in one genre quote unquote, reintroduce yourself you can get famous in one genre and then reintroduce quote unquote reintroduce yourself Not even a reintroduction, but more of like, hey, I can also do this.
Speaker: Yeah. and And put yourself in a whole ass another... There he is. All out, Bobby. Another whole ass.
Speaker: Good to see you. Yeah! You already know. Let's see him. How are these Halloween movies?
Speaker: Okay, I got the purple sparklies back. Oh, yeah. Looks like you need to get them done up. It looks like you need a retouch. I'm going to be gone. I meant to go get them this week, but I have Jersey Dog next week, which I don't fucking understand for life. Well...
Speaker: So you would not know this unless you met me in person, but I am legally deaf. Okay. I communicate with other people in person for your lip reading, but for some fucking reason, that's not a good enough excuse to get out of being on a jury. The whole fact that, Oh, I may not hear everything you have to say. It does not seem to matter. That's okay.
Speaker: Just say guilty. but you and you That's why you get out of jury duty, by the way. you Just explain why he gets out of it Like, man, fuck, man. I want to – everybody always bitches about being it on jury duty, and I want to be on jury duty so bad. Like, why can I not be picked for jury duty?
Speaker: Probably because of this podcast, but – That's a good reason, man. that's good reason but I want to be i want to be a journey jury duty so bad. just so I just want to scream I object in the middle of court. and i also want to like Yeah, he's guilty.
Speaker: i don't know what I wasn't paying attention. I'll be honest with you. I don't know, but he's guilty. He just looks guilty. He looked like him when he walked in. Right? the book at or Or not guilty. like It's like Jeffrey Dahmers in there. Not guilty.
Speaker: yeah No, man. You didn't do it. He's framed. It was a framed job. know well That's crazy because my broster is deaf.
Speaker: And I could hear it in your voice, but I thought it was just like the Like the gay accent. at site for You call that a lisp, sir. It's called a lisp. A little a little, you know, at the extra feminine, you know what mean?
Speaker: But now that you say you're deaf, I'm like, yeah, hey yep. that's That's what it is. oh Yeah, my broster's deaf. I lost my hearing when I was about like five or six, and i I became nonverbal for a couple of years, so I had to relearn how to speak.
Speaker: Oh, wow. um My broster, you'd never know that he's he's deaf because he's an excellent lip reader. And I'll fuck with him. I'll fuck with him a lot.
Speaker: I'll start talking to him. and I mean, he's not not a hundred he's not like all the way deaf or anything. but he's basically all the... And I'll start talking to him, and I'll look away while I'm talking to him. Yeah, I get the test, I get a lot is people would just mouth random syllables. I'm like, I know you're not saying real fucking words, asshole. Sometimes i'll I'll look away, they'll just reach over and grab my face and push me back.
Speaker: People will send me clips of live streams, like someone being up here like this and muting their mic and speaking, and they'll send me a clip of this asking me if I can tell what they were saying. Wow.
Speaker: That lip reading is is isn't impressive. What?
Speaker: What is your problem? What is your problem right now? What do you want? He said, and more, there's a child acting out on the floor. It's a...
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: it's It's my girlfriend's cat who has claimed me as her human and is very jealous and very territorial, but she is in between me or in between my legs just having a fit.
Speaker: And apparently this is what she wanted. what have a little chihuahua that's super jealous and protective of me to the point that like someone will come over and say hello and just like giving you a hug goodbye and then people start growling.
Speaker: Yeah, she will. This is that's this a Turtle, by the way. What's that possible? if If Kayla and I are cuddling on the couch, she will literally come and put herself in between us and put her her butt towards Kayla and put her head and her paws like on my lap to to make sure that Kayla knows that i am i apparently I am hers.
Speaker: She is claiming me as her human. I'm not even a big cat person, but.
Speaker: Just a big pussy person. She can't, yeah either Yeah, Yeah, there. I didn't think you would say no to that. Yeah, there.
Speaker: I have a van. Hello. This is Beecham. Oh. Oh. That's big old pup. It ah who like ah big old pumpcano ah is oil oh years he got oh but oh yeah He doesn't like me doing it, but he will get on some woman's lap and they can kiss him all day long. But he doesn't like it for me because it's like too gay, probably.
Speaker: um Stop being gay, Dad. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. It happens. the Oh, bye, girl. Go back, Kiki. push is so ah She wants to be on my lap.
Speaker: Last night was the first night since I've been coming out to visit that we left the bedroom door open and allowed her to come into the bedroom at night. And throughout the night, I had to keep moving her because she kept pushing herself in between us.
Speaker: And I had to keep moving her. her.
Speaker: Kayla was like, yeah she was being, you were being bad last night. i She don't care. She don't care. She a jealous girl.
Speaker: Whatever. i know. Even today, I was trying to upload podcast episodes onto the the podcasting platforms, and she was getting mad as hell because I wouldn't let her get in my lap because my laptop was in my lap.
Speaker: and She was like trying to walk across my laptop and everything else.
Speaker: She was not. I have one. I have one.
Speaker: There she is. You want to make herself comfortable? Right.
Speaker: There she is. Oh, gosh, cute. I'd say you're pretty pals. She's pawpawing, giving me kitty massages. I know. Come on.
Speaker: She likes to put her paw in my hand when she's sleeping. I'll hold my hand while she's sleeping.
Speaker: What you been up to tonight, Scotto? Not a whole lot. um so just playing around. So we've been playing around on disco with some friends and we've been running this like week and a half long troll on a certain guy channel.
Speaker: yeah um There's this woman that's in our group that just happens to look like another woman that was on an episode 600 Pound Life. And so we tell this guy, whatever she she says, whatever you do, just just please don't play my episode because it's just really embarrassing.
Speaker: So this guy for a week and a half has been searching like torrents and all these crazy places to download this copy of this 600-pound live episode that doesn't really exist.
Speaker: And so it's cute. We've been having it. He talks about it every night on his panel. And we finally just had to break down and say, look, we're just flat out laundry. We're just trolling you. and But now he doesn't believe us.
Speaker: He doesn't believe He wanted a big mama. He was like, give me this big mama. A big mama don't exist. I said it earlier. said it at the beginning of... the i say the beginning of We first started the shows tonight before we were so rudely interrupted. Fire her. if You need to fire her. i She's getting a little bit of an attitude. She's got a little bit too sassy.
Speaker: But, uh,
Speaker: um but ah
Speaker: some random fucking person popped into like dropped a comment from last week's show it was like hurley's dad has a better beard than you glick i'm like i don't remember the last time harley dad was on a panel here that's random but also so i commented back and i said first of all harley dad has a goatee not a beard learn the difference And then I was like, second of all, Harley dad only has one leg and I have two legs. So suck it. I was there for this part. Cause I remember my comment. I started laughing and I was like, I'm an asshole. And I don't kill it. She was out in the kitchen making dinner. It's just like, such an asshole. And she's like, but it's funny. I was like, well, I mean, don't like, don't just randomly come at me with some bullshit.
Speaker: Out of nowhere. like Why is my name being brought up and why is my beard being brought up? ah Especially with a guy who doesn't even have a beard and or take care of his facial hair. If you're going to have facial hair, take care of it. That's my biggest... All that really grinds my gears. If you have facial hair, take care of it.
Speaker: You know I mean? This why I kept mine short so I don't have to. Take care of
Speaker: Wash it. Brush it. get Get products. you know Do whatever, but take care of it. And he doesn't have a beard and he doesn't take care of it.
Speaker: And he's only got one leg. Look at Harley, Dad.
Speaker: What do you do for years? Do you get like oil and all that stuff for it? Oh, yeah. I got oils. I've got... so i When I wash it, I use regular shampoo and conditioner.
Speaker: Um, but I got, I got a beard straightener. So I'll straighten it. Um, I usually straighten it to maybe three times a week because it's not good to do it every single day because it's a, it's a brush, but it, it heats up so you can straighten it, but it's not, it's not good to do it every day.
Speaker: So usually like two to three times a week, I'll straighten it, but I've got ol oils. I've got, uh, I've got a lotion. which is which is a beard and skin lotion. So it moisturizes the skin underneath of it. I've got beard balms. I've also got shampoos and conditioners made for my beard or made for beards. so What's the balm for? Like styling it?
Speaker: Like making it look like... Yeah, it's like... So the balm is like... a It's kind of like... a Almost like a hair gel, but it's real thick. So I'll put the oil in and I'll straighten it and then I'll put the balm in If I know that I'm going to be like the windows are down or I'm going somewhere where I'm on a boat or something like that, it keeps it in place so that like you'll see it on a lot of guys who ride motorcycles.
Speaker: When they get off their motorcycle, their beard is like and because they have their they have their helmet on and the wind's blowing and it's just just like, which is nothing wrong with it. It's just it happens.
Speaker: But the beard ball keeps it kind of locked in place and situated. Lazy Jedi, are you done at the laundromat?
Speaker: Never done at the laundromat. But it's quiet. So, yeah. so And then I keep my shit edged. I keep my shit edged and everything like right now.
Speaker: Oh, you're edging? Should I come back later? No. Right now, so like all... Why can I not find the right side of my face? So like all this is usually down lower, but I just don't give a shit this week.
Speaker: So I haven't cleaned everything up. That's a real man's growth right there. That's all a week. That's the target. That's where you got shoot your load.
Speaker: No, your load's right here. Right here in the stripes. i already Anywhere but in the eye, Jedi. Anywhere but in the eye. Because you'll never see it coming.
Speaker: it' like it's and yeah It burns. Just from personal experience, it burns like a motherfucker. Might as well just be hydrochloric acid dripping in there. you definitely good You're definitely going to pay extra for that video.
Speaker: You got to pay extra. writing it Right in the Jedi eye. Right in the Jedi. right in Yeah, the Jedi eye. That makes sense. that'll be That'll be exclusive VIP content right there. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: I have the higher ground. That's the premium package, okay? I have the higher ground. i have the high ground. Wow, I know way too much about Star Wars.
Speaker: I know. Who are you, Glick? I'm just a guy. I know a lot about a lot. I know a little about a lot.
Speaker: I know enough to be dangerous. I couldn't believe you were still alive. I was like, oh, shit. Well, yeah, mean... i need to somebody ended the show. Scotto said we should fire her.
Speaker: And I agree. No, no, no. no I agree. I agree with Scotto. We should fire her on Saturdays, just on Saturdays. On Fridays and Wednesdays, she can be your guys' problems. And on Wednesdays, she can be Michael's problem.
Speaker: Oh, sorry, Jesus. Oh, sorry, Jesus. By the way, Haas, how are you, bro? Oh, hanging in there, buddy. He's dead inside. Yeah. I've been awake for like... Oh, thank God you're here We all are. 27 hours going on, 27 hours awake. He's been awake for 72 hours for the last day and a half.
Speaker: Okay, Haas. We're going to have an intervention. What are you went up to for 72 hours of awake time? I've just been... ah driving around and hanging out and playing video games.
Speaker: Masturbating in public places. No. Yeah. Shut up, don't lie.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I saw the police blotter. Strange redhead man masturbating outside of PPH arena. Scotto, how are you, bro? I'm good. How about you?
Speaker: I'm good. Let me see them nails. Let me see them damn nails. just a purple from Halloween. I got about another week. They still look great. They still look great. Yeah, they look great, but he needs to get them filled in.
Speaker: oh Calm down. up There's nothing in there. you There's nothing in there. There's not there's no gaps. There's nothing that needs to be filled in other than your butthole.
Speaker: What? What? Feel it, Daddy. Feel it. Damn it, Scott. Jedi, how you been? um but yeah it's got
Speaker: jenna how you been I mean, since you're asking everybody else, for parisish yes too since before the stream got ended, I'm I've been okay since then. i mean, it was pretty devastating for the stream to be ended abruptly, but I pulled through.
Speaker: You pulled through. I'm just glad we could be here for you in this, in this trying times. I'm glad you're here. come on with Keep your beard warm.
Speaker: i argue i've already got I've already got your campsite ready. I knew it. oh Glick's beer is my sleeping bag. yeah y'all wanna hear something that you ah y'all want hear something funny that I that i learned today?
Speaker: God, I hope this is actually really funny. and so yeah ah He said the thing out loud that we were all thinking. It's funny it's funny to me, but I'm not sure if it'll be funny to y'all. I feel like you're about to let us know like Brittany does. I believe in you, Haas.
Speaker: But I found out that my um my ex, she's 25, right? And she her new man is 53 years old.
Speaker: Oh, she's doubling down. Yeah, I find that funny as shit. Wow. You know what? You should say...
Speaker: that Sorry. pick The live audience was excited. i was like I was like, that man's old enough to be your dad. What the fuck?
Speaker: you Did you hit him did you name with the big daddy line? What is your five-year plan? not i
Speaker: I mean, you know what they say.
Speaker: The older the berry, the sweeter the juice. I thought it was always heard darker. The black or the berry. Never mind. My bad. My bad.
Speaker: Damn it, Glick. Get more culture in your life. I am very cultured.
Speaker: Your beard is. How many people on this panel has been with a black woman? Raise your hand. I'll raise two of them because it's happened more than once. but I mean get um don't have enough hands to put up. not You've never been with a black woman.
Speaker: Black woman. That was just doing cultural appropriation. I'll culturally appropriate yeah that word you're being You're being inappropriate when you approach it. Sometimes. play a card break. Call me
Speaker: I don't know about that. we're gonna pick all like you It wouldn't even above 50. Johnny said you got to take him out to dinner first.
Speaker: this is perger This is a pretty cultural appropriate panel. You want to go to Arby's click? Yeah, I do. Shotgun. Oh, they're kind of.
Speaker: shotgun they got oh they' kind of Yeah, you're going to the meat. Because apparently me, you, and Jed are going to Arby's. You're getting double meat. I'm down for that. and it Fidel's getting double the meat. Just be warned, I like what's about to happen.
Speaker: Okay, Shadow's down there a sal salivating about the meats. He's just salivating, just thinking about it. but My
Speaker: Fidel Balms are bringing in Scotto. He's the wild card that you didn't expect. ah He's the wild card you didn't expect, but the wild card you needed. It's not the wild card you wanted. It's the wild card you needed. yeah They're trying to booty pirate me. I'll plunge that booty. They're trying to.
Speaker: umlr that booty this wearing too Pleasure that booty, he said. Pleasure. You know what?
Speaker: It's so similar. sweet geez It's Scotto's duty to pleasure that booty.
Speaker: About to make you play peekaboo with something. yeah but but I wish I had a beard. Why'd your wife make you shave your beard, mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise?
Speaker: Fuck. What? I would divorce your wife if I was you. Jebediah Springfield. Oh, my goodness. would also probably engage in domestic violence at least three to four times a week.
Speaker: like ah It's hot and sexy. Jebediah Springfield. zaddy what do you think
Speaker: oh i do like whole idea of growing the beard not sure about the dv portion i'm not sure about that one but but but also also everything here is jokes don't take it unless you're gonna beat up my buses and that's a lot please do not have your yeah you can beat up a Please do not beat up your wife because you can't have a beard. They're jokes. Don't do that. That's the wrong way of approach. You can beat up your wife if she decides to laundry on a Saturday night in the middle of your live streaming.
Speaker: That's 100%. Go, Jedi. and Not only appropriate, but strongly encouraged. You got to give her the what for, Jedi.
Speaker: Or you dick her down so good that's not going to happen that she just passes out. That's how it goes to my house. I know a guy you can call that'll dick her down really good and then she will forget about it. I call myself. I did that.
Speaker: But don't do it on the clean laundry because you'll just have to wash it again. It's worth a rewash, okay? Do it on the dirty laundry like the dirty whore that she is.
Speaker: okay so in my 20s i was running around one night with a couple of friends and i'm not gonna lie we were all on ecstasy it's the joys of a year one of them starts fight two of them start fighting about something i have no fucking idea but they were fighting one of them just runs off just stomping off mad and his name is john like two blocks is where he recall i'm like john come back come back we'll go home no fuck you fuck you i'm leaving This fucking bread truck that's doing deliveries pulls over and picks him up as a hitchhiker. And we were like, oh, fuck. John is going to be dead. We're going to see him in the newspaper tomorrow. We're going to find his body, whatever.
Speaker: So we just finally, you know, look after the night wraps up, we all go home. The next day, we're all hanging out and John comes in. So it was acting like nothing happened. Oh, hey, John, how was it? What happened? Oh, well, I met this guy. He picked me up in a bread truck. We pulled over and went and fucked right in the back of the truck on top of the bread.
Speaker: He clothes and just delivered do.
Speaker: time of aho um but heres about later that's what winners do Winner, winner, bread dinner. did I just want to see somebody's look on their face when they have to go to the store and they buy a that smashed up loaf of bread. Do you know? know yeah It's probably all sticky. Got little bit of extra protein in it. There you go. oh-ho Shout out to John.
Speaker: John's a legend. Fucking legend. Just random bread man. He's the ginger bread man.
Speaker: He's the gay braid, man. um Shit. I can't wait until next week. I'm getting my hair cut. Oh, you're going to cut it back? Are you done with the afro? I'm going to get a mullet.
Speaker: Oh, no way. That's to be fucking awesome. ah Your mullet's not going to look like that. You know that, right? Yeah, I know. It's not going to look like that, but um that's the concept that I want. i like it.
Speaker: I'm on board. I support it.
Speaker: Or I'll just shave the sides off again and grow my fro. To be honest, even if you showed something that looked like shit, i'll I would have still supported it. I just wouldn't have been as enthusiastic.
Speaker: When James Conner first signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers and had that ridiculous haircut, I cut my hair exactly like that. I don't know who that is. he had like yeah It was like real short in the front, and there was just a bush in the back.
Speaker: And you did that. why What up, Bush? What up, Bush? Weird Bush. He's got a Bush in the back.
Speaker: What? It's a back Bush. Don't worry about it. ah I like the sound of that.
Speaker: My hairstyle is here, just to clarify. It's a back Bush. Are we really? i think night on Johnny, the other day, he looks at me, goes, Haas, does the curtain match the drapes?
Speaker: Well, valid question. why one And then Haas is like, I don't even have curtains. What are you talking about? I'm glad I'm not the only one. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, oh, Jedi, we know you don't have curtains. You got alopecia.
Speaker: Yeah. It's carpet and drapes. carpet drapes. What is on your chin right now?
Speaker: What is that? what is that What is that? It's just doing its thing. you know you you oh You got your big boy hair. You got your big boy hair on your face. I think he's a man now. Damn it, How dare you? He's a big boy, Jedi.
Speaker: If I may humbly act, Jedi, is it great? No, it's pure white. What the fuck? White is the driven snow. You're a fucking anomaly, dude.
Speaker: I know. Jedi, are you ever going out of beard? Old and young at the same time. yes Jedi's going to be Santa Claus when he's like 50. No, he's old and young at the same time.
Speaker: No, I used to have really dark hair. I used to have a full beard. old Picture didn't happen. Like dark. I knew it. Picture didn't happen. I was going to say same. didn't take selfies. I'm not a selfie type of person.
Speaker: I used to be bald.
Speaker: See? He's the inverse of me. I used to be bald. I used to be bald. I was bald at one point in time. I shaved my head. and then I was bald. I was told I looked like a penis in witness protection. And I was like, oh, my God. I used to have full head hair and a full beard.
Speaker: And then I got the fucking, I got i got the jab. And six months later, my hair started falling out on patches. So i just shaved the whole fucking thing off. Beers started falling out patches, shaved that all off. And now it grows back.
Speaker: Like my hair and my beard will grow back, but it's pure white now. It went from like dark brown. Darkest brown. Fucking amazing creature.
Speaker: had green hair. it's You had green hair? That's not normal. Fucking amazing creature. Jesus Christ, Hoss. You look like a bobblehead in that picture. Fucking anomaly. Dude.
Speaker: you got rock that You gotta rock that white
Speaker: When I grow my hair back now, like like on top of my head, I look like a fucking Dalmatian because some part – because it will grow all – like it used to fall out. It fell out in a lot of patches, so I started shaving or whatever. But then I let it start growing back. But it's like some of it grows back my original color, which is dark brown, and then the other is white as my beard.
Speaker: So it's like I look like a fucking Dalmatian. I can't do that. So I just keep shaving it. Fuck that. Just fucking dye the patches white. i I mean, that would little... If your hair was all white, you could be the Anderson Cooper that people actually like. know.
Speaker: Right? But it doesn't. That's the problem. It grows back, like, in different patches, it grows back really dark. Yeah, just dye it. And then it's just, like, white and dark. it like Like I said, I look like a fucking Dalmatian if I grow it out.
Speaker: Because I did it i did actually a couple weeks ago. i like i I spent two weeks, well, not two weeks. It's like a week and half growing it out. And like I looked so fucking ridiculous. Holy shit.
Speaker: So anyway, yeah, i just shaved my head bald. And the the the little amount of facial hair I have is just to make me happy. It doesn't look good, but I like it. Just rock a gray beard, man. Come on now.
Speaker: It's a white beard, bro. White beard. I'm getting off the white. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Even better.
Speaker: Yeah, dude.
Speaker: There was a while. I i used to have like full beard, dark beard. It was normal. And it all went away. It actually wasn it was kind of fucked up to deal with that. Like when it started happening, I didn't like it, but now I'm used to it.
Speaker: Whatever. Yeah.
Speaker: It's kind of weird to, like, fucking have your hair fall out in patches and just have to fucking shave it all. Understandable. It's an adjustment. It's a lifestyle adjustment. See?
Speaker: Ross was bald. Yeah. Oh, damn. Oh, shit. Yeah. He actually looked good bald. looked better than me bald, goddammit. That was fucking a while ago. You kind of look like you should be on American History X or some shit. I was thinking that. over there look like the yeah okay you look you would be You'd be a great felon.
Speaker: i When I was bald, everybody called me Kojak.
Speaker: I mean, it looks like um it looks like you're showing us your mugshot. I mean, I got to go with these guys. You look you're a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. Mm-hmm. American History X is coming right back.
Speaker: They've denied Glick's application four times. oh That's because I'm Jewish. yeah
Speaker: i'm not I'm not Jewish. my I also have a 23 and not me. I used to have cornrows like White Boy Carl from Shameless. I remember that picture. i remember you showing that one.
Speaker: I don't remember that one. It's weird. The Aryan Brotherhood denied my ah application, but the Black Panthers allowed me in.
Speaker: I'm one of the brothers. and they're bald patron Don't mind my face, but... ah oh i do have watching us What is wrong It's all out of misproportion, bro. like You got to full screen when he does that. Put it up put up there again. don't think it's going to fix the... Okay, full screen Luke.
Speaker: Oh my god. Full screen him.
Speaker: You look so confused. How did these fish end up in my hands? Hey, you guys. Hey, you guys. I like tater tots.
Speaker: Bro, I loved it. You know, we're going to have the tater tots. I just imagine Haas out there fishing and making all kinds of weird noises. I call fish.
Speaker: o Why don't you calm your extra chromosome ass down? I love fish and fish love me.
Speaker: Actually, like I have two extra chromosomes. Me with straight hair?
Speaker: What the hell? You had straight hair? do you look like a fucking convicted villain in every picture? I feel like I'm watching America's Most Wanted right now.
Speaker: and i why this no That last picture looked like he was the victim. Oh, shit. Yeah, you're definitely going to be on a Netflix documentary. Yeah. Uncle Fester, calm down.
Speaker: You look like you're on a registry. No, he looks like, well, in couple of them, he looks like the reason other people are on registries. Yeah. cost is not allowed within 10,000 yards of a playground or elementary school and just based off of those pictures.
Speaker: God damn.
Speaker: No, it's more like not allowed within 10,000 yards an old age home. Or a fast food restaurant, you fat bastard. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, that's not fair. I wish Hoth would pick up some fast and bring it to me because want some right now. Look,
Speaker: Hoth, I appreciate you for... i i have had embarrassing photos of myself shown on this network. Yeah. yeah Are they ones that I usually snap and send to you? If Scotto's around, just just be prepared for some embarrassing shit. I didn't even know Scotto was around. That's what he does. okay we didn't even know Scotto was. Scotto was just watching. He was lurking in the background, not in the chatterbox. Yeah, it doesn't matter. You never know when he's around. Case in point, everybody want to see my sexy PFP?
Speaker: Yeah. Scotto. Yeah. No, I'm getting Snapchats from this. Look at that. I'm like, oh, yeah, since you're here and you're not in the fucking chat or on the panel, get your ass up here because I'm getting fucking Snapchat pictures.
Speaker: got to change my avatar, my PFP back because sometimes i have that one up and then I'll go on a panel that I'm not cool with everybody. I just kind of know them. And then I have to dip out for a minute. So I put, you know, and then that's my fucking PFP. And they're like, whoa, Jedi, what the fuck? It's come back to haunt me several times. Scotto. No, Greg's every time, though.
Speaker: because It actually is a conversation starter. Like, hey, let me explain this PFP. I know this dude named Scotto and this chick named Amy and theyo they came together to fucking ruin my life. Yeah, that one. unedited version. Yeah, you see, there's that's the thing. There's so many versions of it now. It's so fucking weird.
Speaker: The thing is, sometimes I'll get on somebody else's panel and they have that as their PIPA. They're like, oh, that's you? I'm like, yeah, motherfucker, what? i guess It's spread.
Speaker: It's spread like herpes throughout the internet.
Speaker: Herpes on the internet. internet mama Yeah. Inner herpes.
Speaker: There we go. You know what's crazy, Jedi? but about about ah say About five five, six years before i met you guys, I was like 460 pounds. I was 460 pounds.
Speaker: No Yeah, now. bro.
Speaker: yeah i'm down to three hundred and fifty five now my goal is to get to two fifty everyone yeah man am good for you oh yeah bro That's awesome. Wow. I get nervous every time I'm a scout.
Speaker: i nervous was every time i'm paleis got out because like that got it That was the last one that he sent me when I called his ass out. I'm like, you're not in the chat. You're not on the panel. Get your ass up I was saying a couple of Britney. She was like, I love you and hate you at the same time. you're Right? That's how I feel about you, Scott. Actually, I never hate you. I just always love you. I just love it when you don't know me.
Speaker: my last week a more last week the couple pictures you got of me flexing and being stupid kayla was like oh send those to me and i was like they're not i figured they did come back there did you get good okay you deserve a trophy i deserve all the trophies all the trophies
Speaker: Big Daddy like jerking off to himself over there up in the top left corner.
Speaker: ready for I know how I like it. Nobody else knows how I like it like I like it. Me and Rosie Palmer. yeah And her five sisters.
Speaker: neithers macs I'm having an orgy over here.
Speaker: That joke was a community effort. it was a fucking um You guys are just jealous because I'm getting gangbanged and you're not. so you It's only considered a gangbang if you use both hands.
Speaker: yeah i do do. It's not that it's so big that I have to use both hands. He's tired so he has to switch off. I overcompensate. overcompensate.
Speaker: Make room for your other friend. i know make twelve on one Make room for your other five sisters.
Speaker: yeah twelve on one up in this bitch little bit of music going away oh there was twelve on one you' would have to add eight crime no your hand and then 10 systems. You got to add two toes. i told you I'm recompensating.
Speaker: You got to find loopholes, Big Hoss. I know you're a young cat. you'renna yeah One, two, twelve. twelve. let's see one to twelve it's brittanney yeah like um Is that a loophole? I mean, is that a loophole?
Speaker: yes yes Luke is... I was going to say Luke. I was going to say Luke. That's your new name in my brain.
Speaker: Luke. That gluck gluck gluck oh my god. Johnny Bongs, you need to bring back the road. that that black what wo like bill go group but work johnny bonds you need to bring back the road I've always been, man. Come on now. The road goes where the road goes. The road goes far from the road.
Speaker: We are on the road, okay? Johnny Ball is so high right now. He has no idea where he is anymore. He's like, I've done 47 dabs. I've stared at the door on that cabinet now for the past hour just staring at it. You should have seen him the other night. He was literally in the chair like this.
Speaker: I'm so fucking high. my god. I mean, if you smoke something that looks like this, and yes, it's pot, wouldn't you be high, too?
Speaker: That's fucking i know crack. I know what it looks like. That's a crack rock, bro. yes I promise you it's not. I promise you it is.
Speaker: ah It's THCA crystals. Yeah. Yeah, look up THCA. That's exactly what that shit is, and it fucking smacks, man. How about, how about, how about, how about, just tell me about It's better than Heisenberg. You know what?
Speaker: I don't fault you. You got to do whatever you do to run that country. i Thank you. getting to those extremes. What? It's stressful to be a dick taster. I mean, dictator. Dick taster. Sorry. I wasn't expecting that. as funnyer than That's it. You're getting kicked out of Cuba.
Speaker: I'll go back to the forest. I'll be all right. I'll go back to the forest. i'll be all right let's go back for
Speaker: He's going to pop out at campers and run away. He's going to be Snow White all over again making can friends with nature. Now you see Now you don't. He's going to be out. He's not in cameo a lot. You got to pay 50 bucks though. The greatest hide and seek champion of all time.
Speaker: Squash. I'm going to kick you out in the fucking woods too. Motherfucker, I'll show you where the bear shit in the woods. You're going to be shitting with the bear. You're right. You're going to be shitting with the bear. Yeah, you're going to shitting with the bears, bitch. The bears? are like That bear's going to shitting you out, Johnny.
Speaker: wonder if their shits taste look just like ours. Wait, wait. Your you You've been shitting? You've been taste testing shit? I wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one that heard that either. No, no, no. People on Reddit? People Reddit? You can't blame the people on Reddit.
Speaker: I can, and I will. not What he means is he blames two girls one cup. Johnny H. You know what? When they interviewed don when they need to read those people, they asked the inevitable question, what did it taste like? And they said nothing.
Speaker: Ugh. yeah a Now it's day of earlier. johnny Fidel, you were you were on point. like Bear shit tastes like human shit is what your words were.
Speaker: well I show you where it comes from. I don't know who they are, but they sounds a lot like... yeah I think he wants to see my ass.
Speaker: Yes. i only thank I'm not held responsible for what It's what Scotty does if you bend over. don't know. Maybe, but what's up to you right now? I'm not going count for what I do if you bend over either.
Speaker: I might have flashbacks of when I was in prison. No, can I come back? It's about to get fun. He said, you're going to have flashbacks. He's going to hang up that video call, kiss me on my hot mouth. I like you. And I want you. I like you. And I want you.
Speaker: See, now we get the mood set. and Johnny Bong's going to be walking around on all these damn panels and shows that he's on holding my pocket like a sweet little prison. Johnny Bong's just turned into the white Felice Johnson. Actually, i want to tie our pockets together in a knot.
Speaker: Oh, oh. I like the way you think. Johnny. Don't be like Siamese twins. There's no way to separate that shit. you're you're You're Johnny Bong Johnson. You're the you're the white Felice Johnson.
Speaker: I'm going to bed down to you next, Hoss. Johnny Dongs. Johnny Dongs. ah what you said ah you Did you think you were bed down next?
Speaker: i'm gonna bed down with technically it's the same thing but welcome to 1846 where we're gonna bed down i'm gonna bed you down big boy yeah more like i them through a fucking coffee table that man plus us i'm gonna bed you down the eye for power of cell block b you know you know Me, that man puss hoss. You gotta say it like Bugs Bunny. you gotta be like, you gotta take little man pussy on you, don't you? There you go. Now we're getting with it. Let me just button this down.
Speaker: Get the fuck out of here, Johnny. Get the round round. Johnny's making a prison porn. well i fucking know hey johnny's making a prison pon Johnny's making a prison porn starring Big Hoss. Nope. Sorry. Not happening.
Speaker: Johnny, are you ah ah you a generous ah you a generous lover, Johnny? I'm a big fan of the vag. I'm a big fan of the vag. I'm just going to start b-boxing the porn hub thing. He's a vagetarian. Yeah.
Speaker: my mother-in-law my lesbian mother-in-law bought me a shirt one time this said vegetarian on it she was so proud of herself and i love that shirt i wore that shit everywhere my ex-wife used to get so mad she was like where my god i'm like because it's a great shirt
Speaker: I'm going order this hoodie on the front of it. It has like a little like platypus on it. and On the back, it says, Lickolotipus my spirit animal. so you're Yeah. i mean yeah
Speaker: Lesbian trapped in a man's body. I feel you. ah do you want to know what it feels like? No, I'm good. You're curious. I'm not curious. and matthew you're good at you're curious i'm not gonna sh i'm not curious Just do it anyways, Johnny.
Speaker: I'm not curious, George. that's it and we Jedi. And out. yeah bell and What
Speaker: series Banshee? Yeah.
Speaker: ah remember that scene in baning and what that serious bany oh the television series ban Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the albino's sitting in the middle of a cell block and he's... He's just... He fucking cuts off his wiener.
Speaker: Yeah, man.
Speaker: that's what That's what happens when people try to... Sex your butthole with their wiener. Yeah. You're not the don't you Don't you sex my butthole with your wiener, kind sir. um You won't bet me down.
Speaker: That's where you got it wrong, Johnny. Yeah, it isn't, Banshee. It's going to happen. I'm worse. I'm worse than you, Albino. Don't threaten me with a good time.
Speaker: It's called good old friend with a good old friends with a beanbag shotgun. right like Don't threaten me with a good time. Hey, don't threaten the man with a good time. Ain't no sex like prison sex.
Speaker: Wait, what? Right, huh? Pull down your pants.
Speaker: ah job got interesting I know what I want, and I'm straight to the point with it, damn you. Well, you're not getting it, so try again next year.
Speaker: you see oh he He sees what he wants and he's going to take what he wants whether you like it or not. Once again, I will circle that in my calendar for next year. Front me with a good time.
Speaker: then Next year, you're to try again. I'm going to tell you the same thing. Try again next year. So you're saying there's a chance. No, i'm saying I'm just saying that to catch him off guard. There's like a millionth of a chance. To make him believe that there's make him believe that someday there might be a chance. But in reality, there's a chance. Kind of like a groundhog. Fucking jump through your window and then get kicked the fuck back out.
Speaker: um did the hostage the ha If the hoss comes out of his hole and sees his shadow. No butt sex for you, but if he doesn't see a shadow, then we're in the dark in the fucking sky.
Speaker: Yeah, and guess what? and Dark in the sky, he said. ah I always see my shadow, so that means you're not getting no butt sex. Guess what, Haas?
Speaker: No butt sex for you. Guess what, Haas? Haas creates his own shade. Big boy. Big I control the sun to make it like shade down to where i don't see I see my shadow every time.
Speaker: so so that That means no butt sex for you. I'm going to find out what it is, what it has been, what it tastes like. TikTok tells me it's big boy season. I want a big boy. I'm going to find out what it will be.
Speaker: it's coughing It's coughing season. It's coughing season.
Speaker: going to find out what it always has been, what it tastes like, what it will be. Johnny, I'm going smack you with a phone. It won't be the first time. And last time I got a raft from it, so.
Speaker: like Like an old school like house phone with a landline where you can smack. You said nunchucks? No. One of them ones where that hang on the wall and it has like the fucking twist thing. I'm going to just grab the whole fucking thing off the wall and just bust you with it.
Speaker: After you do that, can you auto-erotically associate me with the cable? No. I'll just tie i was ti i say michaelel hochins i'll tie both of your arms together, and then I'll tie the rope to the back of a yeah be Oh, my God. There's no bulge there.
Speaker: There's no bulge. How do you dick-taste an entire country and and And oppress your people. It could be cold in the attic. We don't know. it could be cold up there. See what you did?
Speaker: That's it. as yeah and This is where I call it. Pull your wiener out on the YouTube channels. Fine. I'll wait till later.
Speaker: Do that in private snap. Yeah. fuck You know what you're getting later, boss. Nope. I'm going to sleep right after this live. I mean, you're going to get Johnny Bong's tiny thumb dick.
Speaker: He already knows what my balls look like. I mean, I'm not a little dick, but at least I have a bulge. Don't get that. Don't get that.
Speaker: Don't get that. yeah Donnie's going to do dirty things to your butthole, hoss. I am, and he's going to love me for it. I'm going to sleep and I'm silencing all social media. You're going to call me daddy when we get done.
Speaker: No, sorry, bud. I like pussy. Fine, I'm going to call it you daddy when we get done. Hey, it doesn't sound like it matters what you like. It's about what Johnny likes. This is the most lively ever seen Johnny.
Speaker: That's what I'm trying to tell him. Well, sorry to tell you, bud, but that's not how it works. See, Gluck even knows what's going to happen.
Speaker: I'm i am not happy that I know, but... It's okay. you'll be You'll be happier in time with that knowledge. Again, again judging ah judging by the lack of bulge, us I think you're safe. You won't feel anything.
Speaker: Okay, that's where I gotta... Nope, sit down.
Speaker: ah Fucking ruin all the fun. He said, nope, sit down. Fucking spider monkey right in front of me.
Speaker: Oh, Lord. I'm going to finish this this beverage that I'm drinking, and and i am I'm going to call it a night. Oh, my God. That's my idea. Maybe.
Speaker: um I know, because things are getting weird between you two, and I feel like you guys need to... Hey, listen. They need a room. I'm not doing nothing over here. I'm just sitting here. I'm trying to deny everything, because I... You know what the heart wants.
Speaker: I'm straighter than a stripper pole. I mean, you know what they say. Dost thou protest much? Yeah. That's a different pole that I'm going to climb on. What? Hassan's look on his face. He's like, no. No. ah ah I feel like if you i feel like if you if you need a witness in this ah in this ah hearing, that I'm going to be a character witness for you.
Speaker: Because I'm interested in this, and I feel a little uncomfortable. Yeah. Good. that's That's the goal. I'll sit in the picture and watch. I don't mind. Johnny Bones is a monster.
Speaker: Johnny Bones is a monster. He's starting to whip his pecker out like seven times on this stream. Listen to me. This is nothing compared to when I'm on call with him.
Speaker: Every day, that like sometimes like even he'll call me and as soon as I answer it, he'll be like fucking... fucking perched up with his fucking cock hanging out.
Speaker: You're not wrong. You know, I am glad that I don't have a friend that sends me pictures of his dick or video FaceTimes me and is like, I answer the question. Speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. You understand. You understand, okay? Well, that makes sense for you.
Speaker: adam You don't understand. The fact that he's that turned away from it, that's exactly what I wanted to happen. And the fact that it continues to happen means it's going to continue to happen. You got to remind him, right? Keep reminding him.
Speaker: yeah yeah You don't like this? Well, that's why it's happening.
Speaker: got um I'm going to continue to not like it because I am not gay. I don't have a promise. The more you don't like it, the more Johnny likes it.
Speaker: All right, Johnny, here's here's what's going to happen. I'm going to hook you up with my with my brother, okay? Dude, Hoss, hit him with the Uno reverse card and you fuck him.
Speaker: And then he's like, whoa, this isn't as fun as it sounded. That's what I'm saying. Or I'll just, I'll tell you what, I'll just, I'll just go to the government and have them clone me. And then there you go.
Speaker: And then Johnny, yeah Johnny can have the clone. That way I don't have to be present. No, you understand. I'm going to put the clone in your house and then I'm going to yeah, I want the original. Well, yeah.
Speaker: What are you going to do? Like the, the, the street hustle game where they're like, shh, Which one's the real one? Which one's not the real one? I'm going make sure I make like four clones so Johnny can't tell the real one.
Speaker: it's going to aid No, it's going to fucking happen. He's going to fuck all five of you. Wally, wall's the man's got a fun time, okay? He's going to get the fourth clone. It's not little...
Speaker: he's gonna get to the fourth clown sky little And and during the during the process of the fourth clone, I'm already going to be gone. So that's just a distraction.
Speaker: Hey, you're going to have the unknown Pokemon next.
Speaker: just Just buy some cowboy hats and get a tent and snuggle up and correct and in and Johnny can whisper in your ear that you can't This is not a Brokeback Mountain.
Speaker: I mean, it could be Brokeback Yenzer. No.
Speaker: No. None of that. Yeah.
Speaker: Scott is like, I wish I had a man talk to me the way Johnny's talking to Haas right now. Funny what I was thinking. um to go a but broke back mountain I thought Brokeback Mountain the dumbest fucking book I ever read.
Speaker: i It was probably like 60 pages and I was mad I wasted the time to read it. Book. I've never even seen the movie. I didn't know it was a You just gotta get one of these.
Speaker: ah Easy killer.
Speaker: Get where he is.
Speaker: Do you ever isn that just want to go skydiving and, like, not pull the cord? I i feel slightly uncomfortable right now watching yeah this this this future sexual assault that's about to happen.
Speaker: a yeah yeah You got to make him want it, and then when he wants it, grant his way. Never gonna happen. You say that now, but nobody one knows the future, huh?
Speaker: What? You say that but nobody knows the future, huh? I know this future. I know the future. in my future My future does not consist of any cock.
Speaker: Shut up, Wally. but but but but ticket Wallace Rutherford I'm
Speaker: he nu require Fucking lies, man. Lies. I knew that beard was soft, Click. I don't like dick. I mean...
Speaker: any Do one of these to your beard, Click. Do one of these to it. Now listen... We have a buddy named Skull. Johnny does that same shit to him. be like, stroke your beard for me, Skull.
Speaker: You like that, Johnny? Are you done? Maybe. i did Wait. ah ah Now I'm done. the because because coach looks good I do this for you, Haas, so he'll leave you alone. I'm looking out for you.
Speaker: He's still got a whole night of this, Glick. Johnny, Glick is the substitute teacher. I am not. it's I'll be a substitute teacher, but I'm not a substitute batter.
Speaker: good man Okay. No, Johnny, this is how you get this big bastard. You're throwing that over his head. You take the washcloth full of chloroform, and the next thing you know, you've captured a hoss.
Speaker: A hossymon. Got it. I'm going to take you home.
Speaker: go ahead. big really Do you remember what happened to the fucking but but specific ticket do you remember what happened to the fat kid at the end of Ted? Oh, no.
Speaker: He got knocked the fuck out. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: What are you implying to us? Try some shit like that and see what happens, motherfucker. I want you to be my head. right Get the rocking horse and get to the basement with the rocking horse. There will be teeth flying through the air.
Speaker: i don Joke's on you, Batch. I don't have teeth. ah I ripped them all out for people like you. Be prepared. i get i can just pretend that there's teeth flying. yeah Don't think that because I don't have teeth it won't hurt when I bite. Oh, gum job.
Speaker: it You can rip shit off with these. He's like fucking Grandpa Jenkins at the end of fucking... What's that movie called? Monster House, yeah.
Speaker: You can cauterize clamp shit with gums, okay? Get off my poverty!
Speaker: fucking Before I'm implicated in... That's only if your pressure comes together like death. As an accomplice. I feel like this is a good time to end this tree.
Speaker: Awesome. I will be a witness for you. The defense... are the the Not the defense, the prosecutors... If you need me to be a witness, this ah this this this program will be on YouTube and it will on all the podcasting platforms.
Speaker: For any of you guys who can't find it, give us a follow, give us like, give a share, bio.link slash nonsensicalnetwork. Also, be sure to keep an eye out for... What the...
Speaker: do to me? yeah but like you get herere so what therea looks like yeah yeah you watch Watch for future episodes of true crime documentaries where this podcast comes into this specific episode.
Speaker: And I'm going to go, here yeah
Speaker: Johnny, Johnny, chuck no you know, big boss had to murder him and chop him into 7,000 and scatter him across the Midwest. You know, I don't know why this part of Johnny was in Iowa and another part of Johnny was in Kentucky, but you know, a boss did what boss had to do. Turned into myth over the horizon.
Speaker: yeah But with that being said, oh guys you guys, we've had a lot of fun tonight, man. appreciate everybody ah the of the yeah on the panel. um yeah we little minor interruption, a little minor hiccup, Brittany.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. I disrespect her. Get her out. Come on. She's fired. Ixnay. I'm fired.
Speaker: Bye, Brittany. Girl, bye. Oh, my boyfriend. Yeah, is there's some people that wouldn't be mad at that. Gotta hurry up and ah mute my Instagram calls. or the us but Is Johnny Instagram calling you with his wiener out? No,
Speaker: I appreciate y'all hanging out, man. Shout out to the panel. Scotto, Haas, Johnny, Jedi, Shaman, Mandy, Rocky, Britt, you know, we had a good time tonight. Things got weird. It's Saturday night. It's what we do. We get weird. We get a little crazy.
Speaker: Tune in tomorrow. Unnecessary Roughness. Myself and Rick will be back talking all things Fuseball. And of course, we've got a whole lineup of shows. So bio.link slash nonsensical network. Make sure you guys follow us on all them socials.
Speaker: ah Check out the podcasting platforms. Thank you guys for over 50,000 downloads and 50,000 listens on the podcasting platforms.
Speaker: That's kind of a cool achievement. And this is another really cool achievement for us for being an Ohio podcast since July 4th weekend.
Speaker: ah What is that? Six months? Seven months? To today? Six months.
Speaker: yeah like elastic July, August, September, October, November, five months. Last five months, we have stayed in the top 10 of the top 100 podcasts in all of Ohio.
Speaker: Oh, nice. So shout out to you guys listening in Ohio. Thank you guys. Appreciate the shit out of that. And yeah, follow these guys. On their social medias. I don't know what they are, but we'll get there. Don't follow Johnny Bones because apparently we found out things about Johnny Bones tonight that we didn't know. I'm adding him to Instagram right now.
Speaker: Doesn't happen all the time. Johnny's like, boy, shit. Scott is about to slide into your DMs, Johnny Bones. Oh, okay.
Speaker: oh okay yeah But I appreciate you guys man A lot of fun tonight as always Appreciate y'all and we'll see you next Saturday Night right here on nonsensical Nonsense Check out the rest of the shows throughout the week I promise you this Tuesday Glicks House of Music Will be back I will make That a thing It will either be new music or Something else music related I'll be playing DJ So with that being said, let me hit these buttons and we'll get the blizzock out of here.
