Transcript
Speaker: Hello, this is Arliss Walker, frontman for the Southern Outlaws Band, and I'm here in my own words that Michael definitely did not write. To present to you a true generational talent.
Speaker: No, I'm sorry. That doesn't cover it. The man you're about to behold is a true juggernaut of entertainment and comedic force of nature. He's and all-around humanitarian, and the kind of entertainer I hope to be someday. I am not overselling it when I say it is most definitely your privilege to be here to watch Movie Night with Michael and Friends. So, buckle up, folks. and prepare for the most fun you'll have with your clothes on. And it is my honor to present to you my hero, my mentor, and most importantly, my dear friend, Michael Copenhaver, because he is good for the soul.
Speaker: What's happening, Nonsensical Nonsense audience, Nonsensical Network audience? It's movie night Michael and friends. It must be Friday. My very special guest host tonight, let me introduce you to my daughter, Sierra, my favorite daughter.
Speaker: And we're going to talk about Harry Potter. Sorry, Sanfios, we're not talking the putty Paul, Joshua Masquer, putty Paul, whatever the hell that is. ah Hey, Wally, how you doing?
Speaker: Thanks for popping in, Zanfios. Appreciate you. You got to leave because that is. And no, punctuality has never been my forte. I'm fucking 10 minutes late to just about everything I do. But I always say I'm never late.
Speaker: I arrive exactly when I get there. So, yes, Sierra, my daughter, what are we gonna talk about tonight? Harry Potter. Harry Potter. That's right.
Speaker: Not the biggest fan myself. From what I remember, I watched the entire series. It was kind of a war of attrition, but I watch them with you guys, I think. so Let's see. I watched all of them. I think the prison one Prisoner of Azkaban was my favorite.
Speaker: Okay. It had a whole lot of ah the actor. He plays... Sirius Black? Yes. Gary Oldman. Fantastic.
Speaker: Fucking it. I'm always late too, eh, Pierce? Thanks for coming up with that, Wally. Always late. Yeah, it has the most focus on the character that Gary Oldman plays. Gary Oldman is an amazing actor.
Speaker: i love everything he does, just about everything he's ever been in. He's just solid gold every time. Agreed. The actor who plays Snape, too, is that Alan Rickman? Alan Rickman, that's right. He is also a fantastic actor. And his portrayal of Snape through every single one of the movies is just gorgeous. He's great at doing droll.
Speaker: He is my favorite. Robot chicken did Harry Palms. Harry Palms. That's funny. um My favorite thing that he was ever in. He is my Sheriff of Nottingham.
Speaker: He was in Romina, the Prince of Thieves with ah Kevin Costner. He is my choice for the best ever Sheriff of Nottingham by far.
Speaker: I don't know if I could honestly name another one I've seen him in. Yeah, I'm positive I have. Have you seen Die Hard? Yes.
Speaker: Alan Rickman is Hans Gruber. Not true who Gruber Hans Gruber is the head roer hans gruber is the head ah terrorist that attacks the Nakatomi building in Die Hard. He's the head guy. When it falls to the end, as he dies, falls off the building.
Speaker: Rickman's awesome. He's been in a million other things, too. it Those are two big, big ones. Yeah, he is awesome. You wrote them all out. Prisoner of Ascender was number three? Yeah, that's the third movie. was thinking was fifth. No. Obviously not.
Speaker: um My favorite movie is the fourth one, Goblet of Fire. That's the one where they're going through all the different trials to get through and move on, and the other schools come. Okay, I remember that.
Speaker: They do dragons, and then they have to... Quidditch and shit? Or was that not Quidditch thing? It wasn't a Quidditch thing, but Harry takes it upon himself to use his wand to call for his room.
Speaker: is a cheater. He's not a cheater. there's it's It's not cheating. You're allowed your wand. And if you're allowed your wand, you can do anything you can do that you can do. At your level, but they not everybody's at the same level, right?
Speaker: And he's also the lowest there because everyone else is, I think it was, what, 16 or 17 or older to put your name in the cup? And he was only 14. Why was he allowed? Well, he didn't put his name in the cup. Someone else did. Oh, shit. It was a setup. It was a setup.
Speaker: Spoiler alert. There's going all kinds of spoilers. This movie's like 15 years old. It is. And it's like a cult classic at this point. Yeah. Yeah. One of the most successful franchises ever.
Speaker: i get that one a lot, man. I get that one a lot. Especially now that I've totally shaved her down. I'll be putting forth a video on that. I use my groomy.
Speaker: My groomy. became a brand ambassador. They liked me so much. So I'll be putting up a video on that. If you put in a code, put in, put my head on the inside. If you put on a code, it will, ah I think give you 10, some kind of percent off. And I think I get a little kick in there too. So I'll let you know. That's really the captain's balding look.
Speaker: You bang. I don't understand that. I bang. Ivan, was he one of the other school guys or something? Do you know your Harry Potter, Zamfields? Because I sure don't remember a lot it.
Speaker: a lot of it But I'll tell you another part I liked about all the movies that she was in was Bellatrix Lestrange, I think was her name. Okay. She was played by a super creepy lady who's always a freak and everything she's in. Yeah, and she, again, does a beautiful portrayal, very similar to like Alan Rickman. Yeah, she's fantastic. She's a great actor.
Speaker: I feel like they're both the type to like lose themselves in their character, though. She does in every movie, but she's also kind of the same in almost every movie. She was also in Fight Club. Helena Bonham Carter is her name.
Speaker: She's been in a lot of stuff, and she's almost always a flaky, off-the-wall, different, dark kind of offbeat character. So which one okay what which one did you say is your favorite Godlet of Fire and why? Godlet Fire.
Speaker: Because it's so exciting. And I love the dragon scene. And it's the first time that you really start to see also their core friend group crack for a second.
Speaker: Because it's the first time Ron and Harry get into a fight. And then Hermione has to like pick a side. Was it over Hermione or something like that? no it wasn't over that. It was Harry told them all that he didn't put his name in the Goblet of Fire.
Speaker: they called him a liar. Well, Hermione believed him, but Ron was like, um I don't believe that shit. Yeah. yeah Because he thinks he's got a big head and wants to be the super popular kid in school whatever. Yeah. So he's just jealous and Harry's the big man on campus and he's just a little bitch. Yes. Ron and Harry have a like continuous kind of jealousy, competitive kind of thing.
Speaker: Is it the phone or is it the operator? Hmm. Fucking phone sends messages fucked up sometimes. They don't make sense. That's why. I'm going to start using that.
Speaker: Yeah, the phone's broken. What else you want to talk about Harry Potter? Like said, not not the biggest fan. I've always said the neatest thing about watching the character growth and all the kids growing up on Harry Potter was Hermione's tit.
Speaker: Yes, that's I said that in front of my daughter. Well... I mean, I could go on a hundred different tangents about Harry Potter. that. You need the conversation. Well, I think before we even really get too much further into the conversation, we do have to talk about how J.K. Rowling has had very like controversial things that she said, and she's been canceled. She says shitty things about trans people?
Speaker: Yeah, she does. But didn't she write the Dumbledore character as a gay man? So it all scar trans isnt it all started with her coming out and saying that Dumbledore was gay. That was like at the end of 2018, think.
Speaker: And then immediately following her coming out and saying Dumbledore was gay, it became a whole huge big thing where she came out and said sex. is sex Like there's no such thing as being able to just switch what your gender is because you think pink frilly thoughts. Yeah.
Speaker: Wow. Yeah. she was super crazy with it. And then she's doubled down on it several times and she's like allied herself with other female names that are saying that they're speaking in the name of feminism against like. Not letting dudes be ladies.
Speaker: It's almost always just the not letting dudes be ladies. so The conversation of ah girls that transition to men Bingo. People are full of shit. Who cares what they say? Couldn't agree more.
Speaker: Completely agreed. But still, she's a she's a celebrity. Yeah. With a large podium. With a big, wide audience. Donating $70,000 to groups that are actively working against trans rights.
Speaker: Or pounds. Whatever it is. Over and across the sea there. Across the pond. That's right. She's a Brit. Yeah. That's why all of it's set over there.
Speaker: So you can be a gay wizard. But you're born a boy, state of boy. Damn Yeah. Sure, she's not from Alabama. Now, apparently a lot of I've heard that the culture over there is large, very transphobic.
Speaker: But that's a different topic entirely. So with that being said, I adore Harry Potter and the story and the world building of it all. And let's not break off that yet. Did it really hurt her sales and stuff?
Speaker: did it Did it hurt like ah the book sales? Because she was writing more books after she was saying these things. Right. Like liketic prequels or something like that. So I'm probably pretty sure in like 2023 they approved a spinoff series.
Speaker: And I think it's, oh my gosh, what is it? It's not out yet. It's like... The series didn't get canceled after she started going into into controversy? No, 2020, that's well after the controversy started. Because 2018, she said Dumbledore's gay.
Speaker: And then end of 2018, she had liked a tweet that was transphobic. And then by like February of 2019, she's full on Yes. Like saying that. That escalated quickly. Yeah.
Speaker: And saying that trans people are taking away from butch lesbian. Like she, yeah. Then she tries to bring it back to being an ally. It's, it's, is she herself great lesian well, she also has a whole thing that she's published saying that she's grateful. She's not growing up in today's day and age because she would have been trans because that a lot of the things that she was reading about in something like somebody again was feeling,
Speaker: you know, sad and anxious and dissociating and not comfortable and identifying with their body and, and just explaining how they were going through their experience and how they came to the realization of, you know, they were trans and they, and they see and identify themselves a different way than how they were born. And she's talking about how she's reading this and going, wow, I would have been trans if I was growing up in today's day and age.
Speaker: they They would have transformed her into a trans person instead of just her her sexual identity as gay. Right. But she's not gay. She's married to a man.
Speaker: aye not try. Not publicly. Weird. It's a whole thing. It's a whole, whole thing. That is weird. Yeah. But did it affect her sales? did you know anything about that?
Speaker: I don't think very much. I mean, just a gentleman yeah Honestly. And I believe Universal right now is who has the rights. Or they have something in Universal or something. And that their sales just keep going up and up and up. And the majority of her royalties right now. Like a Harry Potter ride in Universal Studios? Yep.
Speaker: There's definitely like a whole Harry Potter world in Universal. And then there's many theme parks and things out in the United Kingdom too. Because it's British thing.
Speaker: it's It's British, so it's good. Let's go to Harryland. Potterville. So, alright, enough about her. Books versus movies.
Speaker: Did you read and see them? I did. I watched the movies first, and then I read the books later in the night. Harry Potter and the Case of the Mysterious Long-Haired Quidditch Competitor.
Speaker: That's funny.
Speaker: Books versus movies. I didn't read any of the books, but I saw all the movies. I like the movies for what they are. i mean, it's like they're not top tens, even top probably 20s. Probably not top fifty s for me. Because it's like a coming of age story. I've already come of age.
Speaker: And I just don't identify with the wizards. Unless they're space wizards. Use the rules. Totally fair. I grew up with it. It's my generation. Right, right, right. In your formative years. Yeah. So for me, it will always be nostalgic and taking right back to childhood.
Speaker: I didn't read the books until I was an adult, though. I watched all the movies when I was a kid and loved the movies. And then I read the books as an adult. i thought you were reading the books like eighth grade.
Speaker: Huh. Okay. So, books versus movies.
Speaker: I like them both. I think the books, as always, are better. are better They flush out the characters. There's more to the story. There's more world building because you're imagining it. you know sure um Movies are good, though. I do feel like for the most part they did the books justice. you know The basic story is still there. Yes.
Speaker: Certain characters might get condensed into one. Kind of. Yeah, and just like taking whole chunks of storylines out. And it's the, you know, normal conversion of books to screen.
Speaker: So she's making everyone have conversion therapy.
Speaker: 44. It's beyond me. It must be a nice, young fella. 52 here, champ. 52. And yeah, I just, they're neat. they're the The effects are cool. I love dragons. I was a Dungeons and Dragons dude. I'd fucking play tomorrow if I had a group.
Speaker: ah Anyone wants play D&D, hit me up. Manboy wants to play. um So, Deathly Hallows, it was supposed to be seven.
Speaker: They split Deathly Hallows in two. Yep. There are seven books. oh Oh, shit. We can't go all the way to Deathly Hallows yet. So, if you want to start from the beginning and work through them, I mean, ah how do you what do you want to talk about exactly with this whole thing? is up I don't remember enough about these movies to talk intelligently about all the movies.
Speaker: Okay. Well... What do you remember about the characters? Well, sure, i remember most of the characters ah Didn't like Weasley from the beginning, pretty much. The uncle? He's that he got butchered in the movies.
Speaker: He was so much better in the books. Like, there were even a couple of lines that Harry said being dumb in the books, that they flipped it so Ron would say it and sound dumb in the movies instead, and they just, like, kicked him to the side and turned him into pure comedic relief. And that was disappointing, because I understand your viewpoint since you didn't read the books.
Speaker: Both. Same. Willow and Princess Bride. Fantasy. Fantasy.
Speaker: willow and princess bride yeah familiar i know you've seen princess bride willow uh not as good but um it had the great uh ice man uh help me out fuck i can't think of it zan feels what's what's his name he played uh the guy from the doors uh jim morrison uh vvv starts with v I have no clue. I'm useless with this game. Val Kilmer.
Speaker: Val Kilmer. Ice fan from ah Top Gun. Anyway, he plays a warrior, and he helps his wizard, who's played by a the guy who's Wicked Warwick or something like that.
Speaker: oh That was his Ewok name. He's... dumb
Speaker: that's escaping me right now but a very very successful uh little person actor okay so nobody believed in him it comes from a whole it's like a hobbit hill basically they're all little people and um a peck with an acorn pointing at me that's right right right so uh he's he's uh warwick davis thank you i'm thinking wicked warwick but that was his ewok name um great great actor and a fun movie but ah and i don't think it's anywhere close to comparison with princess bride or really harry potter for that matter but a fun little story nonetheless has a female bad guy in it which is always fun uh females don't get to have that good uh right you know and antagonist lead often enough more protagonists and antagonists nobody buys a
Speaker: Woman to be evil enough and kick ass and shit. I don't know. It's fucking stupid. They can be good. I'm gonna be bad. there what we david jeff Thank you for that. It's to pick where they come pointed at me. Yeah, man. ah Val Kilmer, man. He's been in a bunch of good movies.
Speaker: His son made a documentary about his ah illness and shit. He can't talk anymore. i don't know if he knew that. Does he have MLS? I'm not sure what it is he has, but I know he he has a machine and it talks for him. like He just types it out. and yeah It's sad. He's a fucking great actor.
Speaker: He had to go through a lot of ah adversity, too. He was kind of like Iron Man, RDJ, Robert Downey Jr. Big struggles with alcohol and drugs and shit. Big struggles. It was always fit and shape, fun, and then he just got ah bloated from all the boozing.
Speaker: And I think it was the role of Jim Morrison that did it to him. He was kind of method actor. He had to live as Jim Morrison to be Jim Morrison on the in the movie. and Yeah. He went down a fucking dark path for a while there.
Speaker: But anyway, nonetheless, yeah, Sam Fielder's two fun movies with magic and good times. Hey, fun storm in the castle. One of the best movie movie lines of all time.
Speaker: The Princess Bride is an absolute classic, too. Yeah, it is, man. I just watched that not that long ago. Even Fred Savage couldn't ruin it.
Speaker: He's the giant, right? No, that's Andre the Giant. Okay. Which one's that guy then? Fred Savage? Yeah. He's the little kid getting read the story by his grandpa.
Speaker: Gotcha. ah She's young, folks. She's young. Well, and I'm not good at names. Me either, but I don't know. There's some of these people. that It starts to escape me a little bit now as I'm getting up in years. I'm not as sharp as I used to be, but I've seen so many movies. I was a video store manager. Always loved movies growing up.
Speaker: And I transferred that love to you and you're his brother, I think. Yeah, I mean, I definitely, I love movies, love TV shows. It's a lot of the way that I choose to spend my free time is consuming that media.
Speaker: But I still just have never been good with names. Not of the movies, not of the shows, not of the actors. I'll remember their character name. That's about it.
Speaker: Same. I'm trying to look up that series. Harry Potter TV series. It's coming out in 2027. Oh, yeah. That's the one that she just signed on. and Developed for HBO. What's it called?
Speaker: Harry Potter. you know I thought it was like the boy. Film series developed for HBO. Series is based on the series of fantasy books. So they've already made all these movies. Why do they need a series with the same character?
Speaker: an official Harry Potter 2 series in production for H.O. Max. Planned as decade-long season-per-book adaptation with a new cast led by showrunner Francesca Gardiner. Starts filming, started filming July, will start, did start filming July 2025. Targeted the 2027 premiere.
Speaker: Warner Brothers Discovery confirmed the series aims for faithfulness to the J.K. Rowling novels. Actors like Dominic McLaughlin as Harry, Arabella Stanton as Hermione, and Alistair Stout as Ron. Bringing the magical world back with new faces for new generation.
Speaker: And apparently far more faithful to the whole bunch. Jedi, what's shaking? James Ottawa. What's the difference between refrigerator and a woman? Preacher a fart one. Interesting. Matt Locke is his grandpa.
Speaker: ah What's up, lazy Jedi? I don't think I'll be sliding in tonight. Meet my daughter. She's my special co-host tonight. We're talking about Harry Potter, and I'm kind of at a loss here. She's running the show. So, uh...
Speaker: never enough Harry Potter that makes one of us who can say that but yeah the series apparently is gonna stay more faithful so maybe Harry Potter will be kind of a dick instead of Mr. Cool Guy all the time well no one's saying Ron is Mr. Cool Guy ever so but he's definitely not as wimpy as the movies made him seen did they not have friction in the books at all ever Harry and Ron oh no they did but yeah You have to have conflict. That like core jealousy almost of Ron to Harry is true in the books and in the movies. Harry's not rich. he's just
Speaker: Harry is rich. His family was like left him all of their money. But the aunt and uncle have control of it. No, the aunt and uncle never got it because it was Gringotts. It was in the wizard bank instead of the like normal bank.
Speaker: Oh, I see. How did I miss that? The Philosopher's Stone. How did you miss it? It's a whole big deal in the very first movie. Which actually, The Philosopher's Stone it was the original like first comments movie title.
Speaker: And that's what it was released as in the UK. But in America, they released it as the Sorcerer's Stone because they didn't think Americans would know what a philosopher was.
Speaker: Did you know that? Hashtag Americans are fucking stupid.
Speaker: But in that one, like one of the very first scenes, shortly after Hagrid comes and picks Harry's ass up and the little tiny shack in the middle of nowhere, um he takes him to Diagon Alley to buy all of his like books and cauldrons and whatnot for school.
Speaker: And in order to pay for all that, he has to take Harry to his vault. And while they're there, they also go pick up the stone. I remember him looking at the super sweet broom and he was broke he couldn't buy the super sweet broom.
Speaker: I thought somebody had to give it to him. We're not talking about brooms. Well, that's part of the magical accoutrement, no? It is a part of the magical accoutrement, you just said.
Speaker: But typically first years don't even ride brooms and Harry is a special exception. We've got a fan out here, I think. Michael quit being such a fucking smuggle. I'm not a muggle.
Speaker: Jedi, why did you bail on your trip without leaving the farm? I want to know why you didn't go on the trip stream. Inquiring minds have been wondering for a week now. live stream?
Speaker: um Yes, he was going to enjoy his first, allegedly he would enjoy his first psychedelic experience on live stream. Allegedly. All by himself in the same place with nobody else around him. Oh, it was going to be so fun to watch his brain melt.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh. that um Anyway, if he was so wealthy, you had if he was loaded, why couldn't he afford the broom?
Speaker: I know we weren't talking about brooms, but you mentioned the money, so now we've got questions. I think he just chose not to buy the... Because, again, typically, first years aren't really riding like crazy, you know? They take, like, basics in broom riding, and that's it.
Speaker: They don't get to try out for Quidditch, typically, and they're not really doing it. Like, they're not just flying around from class to class. It'd be chaos.
Speaker: Chaos at Hogwarts.
Speaker: had stuff going on when I was hungover. Yeah, you were pretty lit up on Friday night. I was wondering how the hell you were going pull that one off. My question is, does your wife know?
Speaker: You definitely should let her know what you're going to because ah you can't just come to her late after the fact. ah Yeah, do yourself a favor. Don't keep that one a secret from the wifey.
Speaker: Okay. So he's wealthy, but he's what? He's wealthy, wealthy but ah humble. Yes. I mean, he grew up the kid under the cupboard. The kid that lived under the stairs. So isn't he ready to stretch his wings and fucking run?
Speaker: He's got friends. He's cool. He's got a whole legend. He's not really much of a runner, though. He's more of a stumble into trouble everywhere he turns. She was not excited about it. Just like your vacation to all the comedy clubs.
Speaker: You are one hell of a husband, buddy. That's America's favorite Make-A-Wish Kid, Lazy Jedi. don't think I've met him, have i He's been on some of the ah ah Saturday night things. don't think he's come out on Saturdays. He's in the cra bar on it but yeah youre to chat box. Very funny.
Speaker: All right. Well... I can't believe you didn't remember Green Dot. It's like the like whole big first truly magical thing other than Hagrid putting a tail on what's his face? The brother or the cousin, excuse me. That was a horrific slip.
Speaker: Sure enough. All right. Harry Potter first movie. No, not TV series. When did these first things come out? I'm not good at that either. Harry Potter.
Speaker: Harry Potter. No, not television series. We're going to do both the synopsis. I want to see when they came out.
Speaker: Probably early 2000s.
Speaker: Had to be because you were alive. i don't know if I was alive for the first one. You definitely were. The first one came out in 2001. Philosopher's Stone. 2001. 11 10 years to finish all off in
Speaker: And then the prequel series started with Fantastic Beasts Where to Find Them. Didn't bother watching that. That was in 2016. Marking the beginning of the Wizarding World shared media franchise. Of course, everything's a multiverse now.
Speaker: I've seen the one very first one of the Fantastic Beasts, but I never watched the rest of them.
Speaker: Good for her. I bet it's a fun time. Mothership would be cool. ah So yeah, 2001, I didn't watch them until you guys came around, I'm pretty sure. I don't think I saw any of them.
Speaker: Because again, teen drama's not my bag. Right. In 2001, I wouldn't have been watching it yet. Definitely not. You were too young. Yeah. When you were old enough, you got into it. Yeah.
Speaker: so I thought you got into it because... ah Casey? No, your grandmother. I thought she was buying you the books. Your mom's mom. Your melon? Yeah. Mm-mm. I should watch those books. um I'm Sam Sagan.
Speaker: Not the last time I was mistaken. Fantastic Beasts is not nearly as good as Harry Potter. I'm assuming you meant... and I wouldn't know. I didn't watch it, like I said. how He's got children. I think they're younger.
Speaker: See, I have adults. They're way better than children.
Speaker: Fuck the mothership. Sam Bios. Not a fan of Rogan. Me either. But a lot of great comedians go through there and I love to fucking rub elbows with them. Speaking of rubbing elbows with comedians...
Speaker: we got here boom come check us out new year's eve warren in ohio we're still gonna do tickets left uh be happy meet and greets are in there let's check it out i will drop the phone number in the chat for more information you need more than this whoops that work how about you click in there
Speaker: Rip up this number im here for... It didn't, apparently. Call that number for information on tickets. Oh, yeah. i got it running. Sweet. Info and ticket purchase.
Speaker: That's going to be a great time. We're going to roast Glick afterwards. And that's going to go live on air. The show the comedy show will not be aired. Info and ticket purchase. Boom.
Speaker: ah
Speaker: Love Shane Gillis. How much are tickets? Tickets are $20 for one, $35 two. That's for the regular general admission tickets. That includes a champagne toast at midnight.
Speaker: ah There's VIP meet and greet tickets. They're $50. There's no bonuses on those unless you get a full seat of eight. You bring a whole table of eight for VIPs. um I'll do them out for a ah 325 to 75 bucks off total spread over everybody so it's almost 10 bucks person almost all right I'll do the math and make it 10 bucks off for each person that's 40 times 8 320 bucks 320 that's what I'll do nice got to do it my little you're an awesome bro whatever You're awesome, man. I'm okay at best.
Speaker: Make sure you stop over at the Lazy and Shaman Show. that is going to go live probably here in a few minutes. We butt up against each other, which kind of sucks sometimes. definitely going to stop in there and talk a little shit for a minute. Expect that, motherfucker.
Speaker: Too far ahead to be there. hey I understand, buddy. It's in a hotel, though. It's at set the Underground Lounge in downtown Ward, Ohio. It's right above it but right below in the basement of Western.
Speaker: That's going to be it's true for a lot of people. say It's local for me, but I'm an Ohioan. I know he's far off.
Speaker: Take that down now. So, yeah, that's my quick commercial. follow the Follow the ticker. Follow the ticker.
Speaker: But the roast will go live. It's going be a special Wednesday night edition of the Nonsense Goal Nonsense show that's usually on Saturdays. Anybody in the audience, as you're watching, feel free to drop roast comments in.
Speaker: In between roasters, I'm to slide back in, I'm going read everybody's roast comments. I'm roasting. ah I'm trying to get Marco Torres come out and roast. He knows like a little bit. Hoping rob Rob Coleman, the headliner, who is the 2025 World Series of Comedy champion. So that's worth the ticket price in and of itself. It's not actually worth more than the ticket price. I'm not lying.
Speaker: I'm giving you fucking tickets. Wow, that's a trip, man. Southwest Missouri. That's at least probably 13 hours. Maybe not that far. 10 and half, 11 anyway.
Speaker: But yeah, Rob's a great guy. Excellent roaster. She's so much fun to be around. Come check us out. It's going be a great fucking night. Picture-in-picture layout. gonna i i doing that But yeah, to be fantastic. Stop out and check it out.
Speaker: Back Harry Potter. Sounds like whole lot of fun, though. it's going to be fojo then what I'm gonna take a short break I can't smoke here okay I'm gonna take a quick smoke break and this is our break oh fuck I
Speaker: have to switch these boom it's got a comment of course
Speaker: to play little Alice Walker, as he said in this very glowing intro for me. Good for the soul. Be back in 249. you.
Speaker: It's good for the soul
Speaker: It's good for the soul.
Speaker: It's good for the soul.
Speaker: We are now. I am back. Sarah's indisposed at the moment. She will be back soon. Talking about Harry Potter. Britney. What up, Brett?
Speaker: I'm going snap your fingers. Don't forget ever being gay. And snap and say, see, you remember being gay? Not sure where that came from. I hope everyone's having a great night. I'm having a great night. I've got my daughter in the house. She'll be here in a second.
Speaker: You met her. I didn't tell anybody. It was a super secret idea. Since my daughter's in town, I wanted to have her on the show. And I know she loves Harry Potter. I don't really know shit about it.
Speaker: if ah If you want to come in and shoot the show with us for a few, be my guest. You're more than welcome to pop through. You know how to get in. ah you and Sarah can probably have a better conversation than I can have with her. Again, I know a few the actors. I love some of the characters that are so cool, but that's about it. That's all I can say.
Speaker: Hey, oh yeah, she is. I'm going to get a star rocker. Nope. That's right. My favorite daughter in the house. So yeah, hope everyone's having a great night. Just like Brit says. Going to the middle what her house is.
Speaker: Oh, I'll let her tell you. I think I know, but I'll let her tell you. um
Speaker: We're celebrating our Christmas early. We're doing it tomorrow since ah she was in town. My son's driving up in the morning, he says.
Speaker: That's right, Brett. Yeah, when she gets back, I'll have her tell you. So we're going to do our Christmas tomorrow little early. My mom's in the hospital, just so everybody knows. If you're a prayer person, pray.
Speaker: If you're a vibe person and don't do all that other noise, just study yeah send out some healing vibes for my mom. It'd be great. Hoping she'll be home tomorrow for the Christmas dinner because it's all her idea. I'm going to be pissed off if they keep her there one more goddamn day because i don't fucking think they're doing anything for her.
Speaker: If you've been listening long enough, you know how I feel about health care. There ain't no goddamn care in health care. Fuck the hospital. Don't go there. Three go to die. So, Sierra, welcome back. What a fun what thing to come back to. Britt popped up. She said that i read you are dope.
Speaker: ah She's a little pissy. I didn't tell her about the Harry Potter. And Britt wants to know what your house is. Ooh. So I want to sit here and say a Gryffindor. Why? do you want to say that? Because that's like... If you wanted to say it, you would say it.
Speaker: Well, that's just unfortunately not who I am. You know? so where are you falling? I am a Slytherin. Same! Yep. Slytherin all the way. Absolutely. ru I can't help it.
Speaker: Why? Why is she not Gryffindor? Or why would she want to be Gryffindor? Because apparently Gryffindor basic. Gryffindor is basic, but it's basic for a reason. It's the one that like has all the qualities that everybody wants to think of themselves as. Like brave and and leaders and you know.
Speaker: They're the suck up. Jorky kids. know what he likes. She's blue as well. And you know how I know? Because she can make her arms look just like a snake. yeah that's all it takes maybe she'll pop in and help you with the conversation and show you that shit but uh yeah was uh i kind of focus on just the characters i knew and liked like i said it was mostly the bad guys uh so what does that qualify as for you what characters do you really like know a lot about in harry potter i don't know about know a lot about i just love the actors and they played great characters and they made the movies better because it wasn't just a bunch of children like uh gary oldman like i said gary oldman great
Speaker: And I wasn't sure if he was good or bad the whole time. whole Prisoner of Azkaban movie, that's kind of what I liked about it. It was it was actually a twisty movie. it was of good actual film. and I'm draining so hard, Jesus Christ. ah um ah There she is. I'm just going to pop in and bullshit with a little bit.
Speaker: Thank God, because i I'm sliding. I'm just trying to push for time without you having to carry entire show. Thank God she's here. Yep, still doing all the way. Listen, I'm going to go. it. sunday dany i'm gonna turn a play hey grahan hold on one second Brett!
Speaker: shes putting in her head cool cool
Speaker: don't have if the crickets over here dammit
Speaker: Typical Brittany. but Come in and disrupt the show. Join, immediately walk away. Exactly. I'm here, y'all. Later.
Speaker: um So, yeah, the the characterizations are what I appreciated the most. From certain actors. Like I said, Helena Bonham Carter is fucking great and everything. Okay, wait, which one is she? She is... um do strange right She was in Fight Club. you ever watch that?
Speaker: I've seen that like twice. Yeah, she's the girlfriend. Okay. The one that always looks greasy. She looks like she needs a shower in every scene. I was going to grab my Slytherin hat, but I couldn't find it in such a short amount of time.
Speaker: but That's why you wanted it off. Well, and to turn up the light. So Sierra, I want to know why you're Slytherin. Well, what when jie Rowling's came out with that game, Pottermore, she only gave out 10 subscriptions to people.
Speaker: And my friend that happened to get three of them. And he like he gave one to me. And they take it's like an official quiz. I took that and I was Slytherin. And then I also play Hogwarts Legacy took the quiz again.
Speaker: It's always been Slytherin. I'm just a little snake, a little snake. that i was wondering if that was the game you were so excited about when it came out. Yeah. And I was excited because Michael got it for his PlayStation, and that was back when we were living together in the trailer.
Speaker: So I was like, yes, when he's done playing it, I can play it. Did it have a couch co-op? Did it have couch co-op? cowki up I don't remember it being a co-op. That's why i was like, when he's done... as not Yeah, That's thought. That's the only downfall to that, I would say, is that it's not a co-op game. But it's still fun.
Speaker: Yeah. I like when I got to the point of flying. i love flying in the game.
Speaker: and don't I even made it that far. I think I played like twice. and I watched Michael play a lot, though. So which one's your favorite movie? I'd say Order of the Phoenix, I think.
Speaker: All right. Either that or Goblet of Fire, just because I like the the games and all that. It's kind of cool. But um ah obviously, the last ones are dope.
Speaker: of I mean, they're not followed. They don't follow the book as well. Right. Obviously. But um I don't know. I think the graphics are pretty cool.
Speaker: Deathly Hallows 1 is so boring, though. Yeah. It's just leading up to 2. I'm watching that one, especially when like after Ron goes away and he gets mad because he had the thing on for too long.
Speaker: They drug it on a lot, for sure. yeah And it didn't feel that boring in the book, you know? There was always something going on.
Speaker: Yeah. and I agree.
Speaker: I think that's what it they're just trying to do. It's like a cash grab. you know Oh, thank you. it Cash grab? Cash grab?
Speaker: Any big series like that is always going have his cash grabs. yeah for want to just Keep it going, keep it going, keep it going. Beat the horse until it dies. Then beat it some more.
Speaker: And they're like, well, the book is so big, might as well just make it into two movies. Right. Two more ticket prices. Whoop, whoop! was really that big of a book compared the other ones? don't think it was, like, a larger book. It might have had some more pages in it. I think it's just they were trying to...
Speaker: bram so much in at the end for like wrap up and close a bunch of the the storylines as much as they could and then set up for if they possibly wanted to do it like they end the whole thing with the flash forward of all of them having their kids and they're sending them off yeah passing the torch right that's like the end of the whole movie it's like yeah they don't know that either Oh, what my gosh. 14 years ago, man. I watched it when it came out, I'm sure. not mean when it came out. i I'll bet we rented or bought them as it came out for you guys.
Speaker: Yeah, maybe. And then everybody like always thought that they were going to make another one just because the kids showed up. But instead, they went to Fantastic Beasts. you' Years before any them. It's prequel, right. Yeah.
Speaker: The beginning of the Wizarding World multiverse or whatever the hell. Mm-hmm. I liked it, the book. And I have the screenplay. and just like the different creatures.
Speaker: Like in the book, it has like drawings of the different creatures and what they are and stuff like that. I liked learning that. That was cool. That sounds really cool. I would probably love reading that too. I've never read any of those books.
Speaker: And now that she's come out and said all the shit that she said, I can't buy new stuff. i get what I got. Vote with your dollar. Yep.
Speaker: i mean i didn't say it so you didn't just talk about jk rowling yeah i know he doesn't want to buy anything ah with his name outlook i don't click on anything that tom hanks is in i don't want him to actually only get a penny for me he was a frequent flyer on epstein airlines yeah yeah i said it don't get me started on epstein i won't because we don't do that here hu till they make a a really really good documentary that's called filthy rich i've seen story and another one filthy rich to the lane maxwell story oh there so good good i mean it's greasy and yucky and it makes you want to fucking take a shower and done watching this yeah yes wild how fucking the ultra rich can just do whatever the fuck they seem to want to do for sure you can leave the sets of rules that's not harry potter okay
Speaker: yeah ah what is Who is your favorite character? Did you answer that? You said Bellatrix? Or you said that you just know the most about Bellatrix? Oh, me? Yeah, you. My favorite was ah whoever Gary Oldman was.
Speaker: The Azkaban guy. Okay, Sirius Black. Sirius Black. Come on. R.I.P. Yeah. Oh, Sirius Black died. That's right. He sacrificed himself in the fifth one.
Speaker: Order of the Phoenix? but He's like his actors. doesn't believe Order of the Phoenix? He was not the leader of the Order of the Phoenix, but he threw himself like in front of Harry when Voldemort was attacking him. Huge loving age.
Speaker: Yes. Voldemort's Tom Riddle. Yes. okay i I thought that much. Yes. I would say Luna.
Speaker: My favorite character is Luna. i love Luna. She's the best. I'm always excited. and i believe it's... We don't... She is... When's the first time she's in the movies? Order the Phoenix the first time she's in the movies? I believe so, yeah. Because that's after when Harry's able to see the Thestrals. I thought they met in four.
Speaker: When all the schools came from the other school. No, she doesn't. want Luna does not come from another school. You're thinking of Floor... yeah whoever the fuck that marries that's Goblet of Fire yeah that's Goblet of Fire but Luna isn't until Order of the Phoenix yes right because that's yeah she finds Harry Potter under his invisibility cloak after Draco finds him and he's like ble yeah yeah I have Luna's wand I got it for a present it's awesome I love it well who that sounds amazing
Speaker: the It works, too. Very cool. Don't you have one of those scarves? The colored scarf? Yep. I have a Slytherin one. Me too, dude!
Speaker: so many Harry Potter Legos. I don't have any more Legos. But yeah. Have you ever been to like a Harry Potter world type thing? Place?
Speaker: I have not. There's one up in Pennsylvania somewhere. It's like a smaller one. it's like at night and all the lights are shining and shit. I have like a little butterbeer candy mug.
Speaker: I love that you love Harry Potter. I do absolutely love but Harry Potter. Again, I make the choice to separate J.K. Rowling and her views from the franchise in general.
Speaker: but it's It's difficult, but it's like, it's her childhood, basically. Right. white It's not like we're supporting her in any way. like you know Exactly. That's why it is I had to say, i love the movies. I don't support her.
Speaker: yeah So did you read all the books? Yes, it's been a while, but yeah. I don't want to reread them, but they are it is a lot.
Speaker: Were you absolutely in love with Dobby?
Speaker: Isn't everyone? ah Yes. i have to seriously, when he dies on the beach or whatever, um, at Luna's house, I cry still. And I've probably seen that so many times and I'm still over there just like,
Speaker: sobbing. Me too. Every time. That scene and the scene where Harry tricks Lucius into making him give him clothes.
Speaker: Every time too. When Dobby's like, I'm a free elf. yeah oh ah And then when Fred dies.
Speaker: Yeah. That's a tough one. Is Fred also the one who like got shot in the ear? believe so. Okay, that's what I thought too, that it was the same.
Speaker: I can't remember now that you're asking, I don't know. um But I also, then in the part where um their mom, she's like, don't you touch my daughter, you bitch, or something like that. fighting Bellatrix.
Speaker: Yeah. so what do you What do you think about Jenny and Harry being together? i mean, it was obvious.
Speaker: Yeah. Agreed with that. and was obvious. um wanted him to be with Luna so bad. You wanted him to be with her?
Speaker: With Luna. I know. did think about that as well. Should do like a little like... Side story.
Speaker: That'd be cool. What about Hermione and Ron? Okay. I like them together, but them as like physically looking, you know? Mm-hmm.
Speaker: She's too hot for him. Let's be real. Well, but I'm not going to lie, though. In and middle school, I can't remember. it was like sixth grade. That's when like Ron was still kind of cute.
Speaker: It was like Valentine's Day. And there was this one with Ron on it at like the lunch line or something. And I stole it because i used to think he was cute. And I grew up. I was like, what the fuck did I see? What it was I thinking? Yeah.
Speaker: Well, it's like they didn't have, well, that's why they brought in Cedric Diggory. had to have some kind of handsome fellow. Cedric Diggory is not handsome. No, I don't think Robert Pattinson. Yeah, no. Yeah, Robert Pattinson, that's his name. Yeah. Not handsome at all.
Speaker: Team Jacob, by the way.
Speaker: I was Team Bella. snap. oh i but That's even worse. I'm just kidding. She does have pretty cringy faces in that movie. Sometimes. It's like, ah, ah, ah.
Speaker: Right. When she's good, she's good. But when she's bad, she's bad. Yeah. i feel like there's no in-between with her acting. Agreed. Well, and when she's bad, it just comes across so awkward, you know?
Speaker: that's what it is. My old best friend, um who owes me $680 if you're watching this bitch. yeah She got Bella's red eyeballs tattooed on her on her arm.
Speaker: And her husband got a heart with Jacob and says Team Jacob on his arm. Oh my goodness. So lame. I was like, I'm not getting a fucking Twilight tattoo, so I got a Texas tattoo i instead.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Damn. My neighbors are having a party. And they didn't invite you? Rude. It's like a it's like ah cookout party.
Speaker: and If you know what I'm saying.
Speaker: No, they probably would, but I'm good. Gotcha. It's loud. Fuck. They're not even right under me. There's one underneath the one next to me.
Speaker: and iin' still I'm still here. I'm just crazy. The joys of apartment living, right? I don't even live here. I'm just staying here for the moment. Okay.
Speaker: Anyways. Wait, where do you live? You don't live there, right? No, I live in Michigan.
Speaker: It's like the Ann Arbor area-ish. Oh, nice. That's right. I feel like I remember you saying that when we were at the, yeah, the after-party. So are you going to be at the New Year's Eve thing or no?
Speaker: I won't. I don't have anyone to watch my dog, which I didn't have anyone to watch him this weekend either, but I just chose to bring him with me so he's sitting next to me. oh bobbies yeah i can't bring him for the new year's eve thing that that'd be too much and i don't want to leave him like at night like that to be out i don't blame you i don't blame you at all it's gonna be a heck of a time i'm sure it will it sounds like a lot of fun dad was talking about it earlier
Speaker: It's coming up so quickly too, though. And I've had some things happening as per usual. Everybody has something going on. got a little distracted, but i think I nailed it in the bud.
Speaker: I'm excited. Nice. Are you excited for the rest? I was just about to say, do you have anything that you want to say Glick?
Speaker: I don't really know Glick. Like, I know he's a part of this, like, network, but I haven't, like, met him or talked to him.
Speaker: True. He does leave, like, right after the wedding. Yeah. Loser. next oh No, I'm excited. um of course, there are very obvious things that we're going to say about him, and he knows them, but we're still going to say it. We don't care.
Speaker: um Well, sometimes you gotta to get the obvious stuff out of the way. he thinks that he knows everything. And I'm going to show him just how much he doesn't.
Speaker: And I know he's watching right now. He's not. Where the heck is your father? ah he had to step away really quick.
Speaker: All right, so we both love Luna. What other characters do you really like? I will say I do like Bellatrix too, but only as her as an actress. She's so versatile in all the movies that she's played in. um And she's just dark, and I like dark.
Speaker: But, um okay.
Speaker: I mean, Emma Stone or Watson, I always do that. Emma Watson's always awesome. She's a hottie-buttottie. And then Severus Snoop.
Speaker: R.I.P.
Speaker: Snape is the top five for me, too. Absolutely.
Speaker: Well, it's like they make you hate him, but then you realize like he's really just looking out. Yeah. Do you watch anime at all?
Speaker: Somewhat. Did you ever watch Naruto?
Speaker: You probably can't say it. oh Yes, I have. So, Snape's, like, revealing of his, like, character and why he was who he was and, and like, behaved the way he behaved reminds me a lot of Itachi, which is from Naruto. Yeah.
Speaker: And I feel like I had the same like core shattering what moment with both of those reveals. Yeah. yeah I never even thought about that.
Speaker: That's crazy. wow You have an elaborate mind. don't want that.
Speaker: um See, I like anime. I never really got super duper into it because by the time I did, I didn't really have time to like binge you know? Right. ah But Naruto, Sword Art Online, ah Demon Slayer.
Speaker: got it. Attack on Titan. Those are like probably the main ones. You just watch Bleach. Oh, and Bleach. Yeah, I'm sorry. yeah i'm sorry we're family
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: I watched a lot of animes too. What's your favorite? That's a tough one. Okay. one much more Gun to my head. as like stereotypical as it is, I probably would say Naruto just because I put so many hours into it, like watching and rewatching and rewatching.
Speaker: um If I had more time to think about it, I might change that answer, though. i have I believe it. Yeah.
Speaker: You girls been getting along well? Of course. I'm a bitch this whole time. and hu That's what you're saying about yourself? yeah but bit Yeah. Where are you going to be on New Year's Eve? Talking about that.
Speaker: We were just talking about that, but... Gonna be in Warren, Ohio at the lovely, beautiful Underground Lounge. Doing some comedy. It's a beautiful day in Warren, Ohio.
Speaker: yeah It's not that bad. You keep making it sound so bad. Like, don't you want people to come? Oh, I'm from there. No, not from there. I'm from the big city of Champion. But it's, don't know. I see it all the time. It's not that exciting to me. Well, we have Mr. Michael Koppenhover as the host.
Speaker: Starting us out with some jokes. And then this bitch. and and We got Tyler snotty.
Speaker: What's his name? It's not gross. How do I follow away from Pittsburgh? All the way from Pittsburgh. And then we got Robert Coleman Jr. at the World Series of Comedy winner. Twenty twenty five. whoop who Big money.
Speaker: I'm excited. in how Cool, cool. a I don't have anything to add. I just missed it all.
Speaker: But I'm going to let you out of here. You've done enough. ah How are you going to end the show?
Speaker: Happily? That was cute.
Speaker: that was cute um Happy holidays, everybody. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you, Father, for having me on. daughter Thanks for coming on.
Speaker: Absolutely. And I bid you all good night. That's my daughter, everybody. And that's the same for me. Hey, don't forget, if you're not having a good time, you're not doing it right. Britt, thanks for stopping by. appreciate you.
Speaker: Thanks for having me.
Speaker: So stay right there. Here you
Speaker: go. I got married five weeks ago today. I don't trust your judgment, but this song goes out.
Speaker: but this song goes If
Speaker: If I had a sailor ship, I'd tell you to leave. If I had the I'd write a verse with me. If I had the Pinterest touch on canvas, you would be.
Speaker: But I don't have a hammer. And I don't have ship. So I can't build you a house. And you cannot take the trip.
Speaker: I'll never have a poet's name. Never will I have a painter's grave. I will not write your verse. Nor will I immortalize your face.
Speaker: And also, you almost certainly
Speaker: Put your hands in and start out on the bed, everybody. That's a goddamn noise. Give
Speaker: it up for Mr. Michael Coleman, here in the head of herpes. Oh, yeah. Oh, don't forget to take your blood. Ghost of death.
Speaker: Thank you for making my wish.
