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NOnsensical Nonsense: The Glickening
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Another wild show with another awesome panel full of great guests and friend
FOLLWO US EVERYWHERE bio.link/nonsensicalnetwork
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Transcript
Introduction and Social Media Promotion
00:01:52
Speaker
We'll be right back.
00:03:11
Speaker
Maybe things will work. You know, i should fixed this before I got started. But, oh, well, anywho, what's going on, everybody? It's Saturday. You know what time it is. A little nonsensical nonsense. Hopefully, y'all had a good week.
00:03:24
Speaker
We had to go back to work after the first of the many holiday cluster fucks that are going on Thanksgiving. And it was a cold one, depending upon where you are. It was fucking cold as hell here.
00:03:42
Speaker
But nonetheless, it is Saturday night. You know what that means. We're going weird. We're going to get little awkward. And we're going to make things incredibly uncomfortable.
00:03:54
Speaker
At some point. I don't know when. But if you're not already, feel free to check us out everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. Shows are live all the time on our YouTube and Facebook page.
00:04:08
Speaker
And you can listen anytime, anyplace where I'm pretty sure I've almost got every... Wow, my camera's all fucked up. Almost got everything ah caught up and up to date.
00:04:21
Speaker
ah So you can listen on all those podcasting platforms.
00:04:26
Speaker
The Nonsensical Network, or you can simply go to bio.lake slash nonsensicalnetwork. And all those links are going to be there. So give us follow. Give us a like. Give us a share.
00:04:39
Speaker
As always, greatly appreciated. I got figure out my buttons here. I've got everything all screwed up and all over the place. Here we go. Like, share, and subscribe. And as always.
00:04:55
Speaker
Nine out of ten grannies. Approve.
00:05:02
Speaker
Cheers, James. Appreciate you popping in. What's going on with you?
00:05:08
Speaker
Chris Technician, what's up, man? Yes. The cat was walking by.
00:05:17
Speaker
So there was a tail.
00:05:21
Speaker
It's been a it's been a long day but We have
Weekend Plans and Holiday Jokes
00:05:27
Speaker
been going for for a while. we
00:05:32
Speaker
went and meant I went and met more family today, which was cool. We had a good time. Had lunch. We had to do a little Christmas shopping. then he hee he I got to go to one of my favorite places on Earth that I haven't been to in a long time.
00:05:45
Speaker
I would just wander around at Cabela's. I love going to Cabela's. Such a fun store. All kinds of cool things.
00:05:53
Speaker
and Then came back and Got ready to do this. Saturday night fuckery. Thumbs up, bitches! What's going on, Zampios? What's going on with you, brother?
00:06:07
Speaker
um So, we'll get the first beverage in before many. oh but How you know that? It ain't Christmas time yet, Robert Platinum.
00:06:19
Speaker
How you know that, man? I'll get you the same thing I got you last year. You got wait till Christmas and see if Santa Glick brings you anything.
00:06:31
Speaker
I'm going drop Brittany out for you for Christmas. but She's not here to defend herself.
00:06:45
Speaker
ah She's probably got her ears on, so she'll chime in any minute. he said I thought you might like that. it You being her number one fan and all, I thought you might enjoy that all or little Christmas present for you.
00:07:04
Speaker
I don't know how she feels about that, but I feel like you're probably in a much warmer, I think you've told me and I remember correctly, you're probably in a much warmer place than she is, so that would be a win. You'll change it.
00:07:18
Speaker
Oh, there she is. What up, Brittany? Brittany.
00:07:25
Speaker
Huh? You doing anything to your camera? No. It's going in and out of focus. Yeah. Yeah, I see it on my camera, so. it should Yeah, I don't know what's going on with it. It's been action acting weird, so.
00:07:40
Speaker
I just want to make sure you have it. Yeah.
00:07:46
Speaker
Britannies. I'm not, um you're not here. You're not up here. You're not on panel. I have no idea. I don't have to explain myself. Maybe you should have been here sooner, and then you would have known.
00:07:58
Speaker
i didn't sell her to anybody, goddammit. and
00:08:07
Speaker
Shut up, Zampios. What's going on, about me?
00:08:17
Speaker
Fulfilling all my hopes and dreams. i'm Santa Glick is here. i did not don't I did not sell her. I'm Santa Glick. Look, Robert asked for a very specific gift for Christmas, and he's been a good boy all year.
00:08:33
Speaker
So Santa Glick was going to deliver. Unlike the real Santa. That prick still never brought me my Red Ryder BB gun. well sorry Sorry, no refunds, Zanfios. All sales are final.
00:08:51
Speaker
It's the greatest gift of all. won'twa You sold me out.
00:09:03
Speaker
What's up? Now I will. now now Sorry, Robert. Now I have to auction Brittany off because I got... What's that? Slors got to stick together. together.
00:09:16
Speaker
Slors, scissors, scissors. You knew what i didn't do anything. I've literally been live for like less than 10 minutes. I barely got done doing the intro. I didn't do anything
Late Night Tales and New Year Plans
00:09:30
Speaker
yet.
00:09:31
Speaker
Night's still young.
00:09:34
Speaker
I'm still behaving myself for the time being.
00:09:45
Speaker
Oh, that's why you stick up for her because she gets your name right. Exactly.
00:09:53
Speaker
That's some bullshit.
00:10:00
Speaker
I'm about to pop off.
00:10:04
Speaker
but Pop on. You didn't stay up too late with the with Shaman and Jedi? I was going pop in and say hi, but We basically ate and went to bed after Michael and I got done last night.
00:10:22
Speaker
Shut up, Mandy. You're supposed to be my old her sister. You're supposed to have my back, too. I don't like this. I don't like this all ganging up on Glick. You know what? I changed my mind about New Year's Eve. I don't want to go. What?
00:10:38
Speaker
what
00:10:45
Speaker
Brittany's, don't worry. I'll cook for you and rub your feet. Wow. I think I might deliver myself to Robert Platinum if that's the deal. Feet rubs and and cooking for
00:10:57
Speaker
Dag gum. You guys were not up that late last night on the show, were you?
00:11:08
Speaker
Oh, yeah? You didn't expect me to fall for that, Zanfios? Yeah. No, we had to get up early this morning. We went to Kayla's aunt's house. I got to meet her aunt today, and we had to go over to West Virginia.
00:11:22
Speaker
Where's my god, Virginia?
00:11:26
Speaker
Yeah, that's a Hey, you're not the boss of me. I do whatever I want. Never mind the boss is here. I'll be there.
00:11:43
Speaker
Oh, nice, nice, nice, nice. nice Yeah, we Michael and I had a good show last night. We had a good conversation. We're going to do a couple more, one or two more MCU conversations. And then we decided we're going to do a DC conversation.
00:11:58
Speaker
So there might be more of me popping up on Friday nights with Michael here in the future. sure And then our boy, our boy Scotto, I woke up this morning.
00:12:13
Speaker
to a and i not a really cool picture that he sent me at like four o'clock in the morning. um done now Send that over and upload that. I think I got room to upload shit.
00:12:36
Speaker
So many pictures from Scotto lately.
00:12:41
Speaker
For me, the sun doesn't rise until...
00:12:48
Speaker
You're laying it on extra thick, man. and The sun doesn't rise until I see Brittany's on YouTube.
00:13:00
Speaker
Hey, have a good one, Wally. How you been, stranger?
00:13:05
Speaker
I don't know, man. I don't think Scotto does. I don't even think Scotto's real. He might be a robot.
00:13:14
Speaker
Scotto is absolutely the fucking best. It's insane. ah How quick he does them is wild. Let's see if I can pull this up.
00:13:27
Speaker
i'm so like It takes me longer to upload them and bring them up on this up onto the ah but the show. Up on the show than it does for him to actually make the shit.
00:13:39
Speaker
It's crazy.
00:13:41
Speaker
If this will ever open. There's got to be a better way for me to do it, in all honesty.
00:13:52
Speaker
I mean, I could jump on StreamYard on my phone. The only downside is, is like in order to jump into the studio or in order to...
00:14:03
Speaker
um
00:14:08
Speaker
ah lost my train of thought. Oh, in order to upload anything into the studio, I actually have to be there. So that I get the back feed and the echo and... Oh, shit. No, cancel.
00:14:23
Speaker
Cancel, cancel, cancel. I'm going to send it. Huh? You're going to send it.
00:14:32
Speaker
I'll send it. End. No.
00:14:38
Speaker
do do to do do do Excuse me while I wait for things to work.
00:14:46
Speaker
There we go. Watch is going to say, you've got a lot of shit on your fucking thing.
00:14:54
Speaker
You need to delete some stuff, mother fluffer.
00:15:02
Speaker
I'm not bringing you up. You can bring your cell phone. That's it.
00:15:09
Speaker
What's your major malfunction?
00:15:13
Speaker
Are the lights too bright?
00:15:19
Speaker
Brittany's forgot how to word.
00:15:24
Speaker
I don't know how to make words.
00:15:37
Speaker
We can still see you. Rough night.
00:15:47
Speaker
Rough night.
00:15:50
Speaker
Okay. Can you hear me now? i can hear you. Can you hear me?
00:15:57
Speaker
i don't want to.
00:16:01
Speaker
well i have some really good new rope for you. You need to show up, you motherfucking bitch. I don't believe it.
00:16:13
Speaker
don't give a fuck. can believe when you want to hear it. I won't believe it when I hear it. Yeah, that's part of what i was talking to. Weezy Jedi last night.
00:16:26
Speaker
it's all I told him some of them and he was like, dude, that's perfect. Yeah, but that's Jedi doesn't know any better. Jedi is the definition of a yes man. A handjob robot.
00:16:43
Speaker
Leave my man Robert Platt I'm alone.
00:16:49
Speaker
What up, Megan? Am I the manure? Because I'm the shit. Is that what we're going to have to look forward to for New Year's Eve? Don't laugh at
00:17:05
Speaker
Yes, Paige. Don't encourage her.
00:17:10
Speaker
Hi, Kayla. What up, Britt? How fucked up are you right now, Brittany? I'm not. I just woke up from a nap not too long ago. um I had a hydroxyzine. That shit's for like anxiety and stuff, and it's made me so sleepy. so let's Having a slow day? She has a slow life.
00:17:36
Speaker
her No. I went out and I had me some fucking steak panay at Firehouse. It was fucking delicious. Firehouse tubs?
00:17:49
Speaker
No. oh Firestone? i don't know. It's really expensive. It was like 28 bucks for just that fucking... who so Who'd you sucker into taking you to an expensive dinner?
00:18:01
Speaker
Somebody that has money. but Robert Platinum? You got that?
00:18:13
Speaker
I don't know. I'll tell you, like, a $20 steak is expensive. Meanwhile, if I go to a steakhouse... No, it wasn't a steak. It had, like, cut up steak in the pasta.
00:18:24
Speaker
Ah, little snake or steak bites? Yes. I still have leftovers. I'm probably going hit that up. Fat ass. If I had money, Brittany's.
00:18:38
Speaker
why Why is there multiple Brittany's? It's you and all your personalities. That makes sense. All right.
Comedy Show Preparations and Tech Nostalgia
00:18:50
Speaker
Yeah. Explain it to me. That makes sense. Don't worry. I'm used to it. but i't like Am I going to have to explain your own jokes to you on New Year's Eve?
00:19:05
Speaker
Maybe. Maybe. end All right, I got you.
00:19:12
Speaker
No, I have mostly everything pretty much set up. I just have to write it down. ah have so many fucking jokes about you. Like, I'll be laying in bed, I can't sleep, I'm just like, lick that motherfucking bitch, writing it down. Whatever.
00:19:30
Speaker
Sounds like you're obsessed. People get obsessed over me and can't stop thinking about me and talking about me. It's great. Gross.
00:19:38
Speaker
Oh, no. I like it. Oh, yeah, Zanfios. Swiss steak here. Oh, nice. I don't know. Lantil. Blank. Even bad head.
00:19:52
Speaker
i am beautiful. Thank you, Robert.
00:20:00
Speaker
What were you doing up all night? I was... Well, I mean, I went on y'all's show for a little bit, the movie night. And then I hopped over on the the Lazy Jedi and Shaman show quite a while.
00:20:15
Speaker
um who o You need to watch part of that because I fucking went off on Trumb. You got give me a timestamp so I can just scroll to it. Okay.
00:20:30
Speaker
Maybe be later. but Yeah, don't do it now. don't that Just pull it up and start watching it. good do Yeah, no. like, no. It was only because I was like, what's up, bitch? And she was sticking up for Miss Face. You know Miss Face.
00:20:49
Speaker
Oh, yeah. She comes in yeah. She was, and I was just like, what up, bitch? And then this chick, I'm not going to say names, because also I don't remember it um she's like you know guer beach made you would name and just like fucking went off on me so it's like oh ho no honey all but yes she is feisty just like you are Kayla's over here laughing her ass ah bro I was not having it so like it went all off it went down
00:21:27
Speaker
fucking shit went down and apparently more shit went down after i left with them and jedi and he's like yeah no i'm not having this bitch on here like
00:21:42
Speaker
god why are you places i'm glad you don't cause drama on on our network i can real quick would prefer that you don't I do enough of that on my own and I don't... And I don't even try. It's like, New Year's Eve is going to be a very PTSD fucking situation for me.
00:22:08
Speaker
But no, then after that, like I dipped out because i was like I'm not trying to start any fucking drama. This bitch did. And then I came back in I was like, you know, fuck you when I keep talking shit. And then I left again. Yeah.
00:22:24
Speaker
So you talk shit and then you dipped out. It was like a drive-by shit talking, huh? Yeah, and then I talked to Lazy on the phone for quite a while, actually. But yeah, I was up until the sunrise.
00:22:50
Speaker
I haven't done that bill and in a little and a hot minute. be up until sunrise. I know. I was like really a shocked when I saw that. I've never seen the sun come up. I've done in a while.
00:23:05
Speaker
Well, it was cloudy so I didn't really necessarily see the sun because it's been snowing here.
00:23:12
Speaker
and Brittany's... You can talk to Robert Platinum.
00:23:23
Speaker
On his Obama phone. You still got that thing? Is everything still active?
00:23:29
Speaker
Oh, yeah. forgot about them shits. hu i like I don't know what to say. I'm still waiting up, to be honest.
00:23:40
Speaker
Let's take a shot. There you go. I can wake you up. yeah I thought you were starting at 8 also. Why would I start at 8? Dude, literally in the fucking text messages, our group chat.
00:23:56
Speaker
That was yesterday for Michael's show. I asked ask him what time we were starting. ah ah Jesus Christ.
00:24:11
Speaker
with you
00:24:15
Speaker
It says yesterday. Dude, I'm like. Yeah, maybe you'd have read the text messages rather than just calling me a bitch. yeah
00:24:27
Speaker
Chris? Oh, not you. I literally got service everywhere. I'm talking about the mountains of West Virginia in the middle of Kentucky. God damn. Oh, my my favorite place. On that Obama phone. The Obama phone was amazing.
00:24:48
Speaker
man Why can't we get those cellser that type of cell service and like with T-Mobile overion or Verizon or AT&T? I could be in the middle of down... like I had AT&T for just i just ah just a little minute.
00:25:04
Speaker
And I could literally be downtown Columbus and have nothing. And a major metropolis and have no bars.
00:25:14
Speaker
Bullshit. Spit that beat.
00:25:21
Speaker
no bars sorry i'm still waking up yeah okay let's get this down i gotta to share this shit
00:25:34
Speaker
i'm not all here yet that sounds like you're never all here that's it's true ah that's fair it's true That sounds like the old Nextels, Robert. I know you're old enough to remember the old Nextel bricks, like the black.
00:25:53
Speaker
God, that sound still makes my stomach drop.
00:25:59
Speaker
i My neighbors had them, and I loved it. I would always steal it. and then let yeah were We all worked in construction when those came out, so they were great.
00:26:10
Speaker
right The downside was was me and all my buddies had Nextels, which meant If we knew you were someplace like a restaurant or at your girlfriend's family's, we would just chirp you and God only knows what was going to come out of our fucking mouths. It was going to be horrible and it was going to be disgusting. And there were walkie talkies. So there was, e it just happened. That's why said that sound. love it. That sound still makes my stomach drop because it's just like, Oh, you just waiting for the absolute worst.
00:26:47
Speaker
Yeah. I loved stealing my neighbor's phones and just randomly just like going on there and hitting up other people that had them just saying the weirdest stuff, of course.
00:27:00
Speaker
Hell yeah. That sounds like the old Nextel bricks. Oh yeah. We used to say some of the most God awful shit on there. Yeah.
00:27:13
Speaker
hit My uncle buy like uncle was paying for the phones because they were company phones and he was like, I'm not paying for that for that phone for you and your idiot friends to horse around on. That was the best part.
00:27:27
Speaker
I did have actual walkie-talkies with me and my other friend, Britanny. so She lived next door. It was fun. you good Shut the fuck up, you little twat.
00:27:41
Speaker
Big twat. don't know.
00:27:45
Speaker
Why do you have me in the background like that? Fuck off. Because that was you that showed up on Lazy Shaman last night. The little gremlin.
00:27:58
Speaker
but man Hey, Evan. What's up? Long time no see, buddy. How you been, man? Yeah, man. I guess I'm in the big leagues now. I don't know what's going on. I moved on. I moved up in the world.
00:28:10
Speaker
How you been, brother? Now they got Kayla. Facts.
00:28:17
Speaker
Facts on facts on facts.
00:28:22
Speaker
It just took you like 10 times to find her. The 15th time's the charm.
00:28:31
Speaker
thing I like her. You guys look cute together, too. That's a better background for you, Britt. Yeah, I dig it. oh Does that do it for you? I just wish his finger was out of the way a little bit.
00:28:45
Speaker
So you can see his knee. Yes! I bet if you ask Scotto, Scotto could put a nipple on that picture. But that might get us in trouble on YouTube. That might be considered nudity.
00:28:58
Speaker
Really? don't Oh, nuts, not.
00:29:05
Speaker
Oh, yes. no He was like downing that shit that night. ah Do I drink whiskey? On the occasion, Robert, on the occasion. I don't drink it to get drunk, but I might have a, I like to mix it. or I might have a drink or two, but I don't drink it to get drunk.
00:29:28
Speaker
I used to be. I was a rum girl and then a whiskey girl, and now I'm sticking to vodka. Ooh, I like Buffalo Trace. Now you're on, what? You're drinking what, vodka now?
00:29:39
Speaker
Vodka, yeah. Yeah, Buffalo Trace is really good. My ah my dad introduced started introducing me to some bourbons. There some really good bourbons out there.
00:29:50
Speaker
There are. But if I had a bottle of whiskey or a bottle of bourbon at my house, It would probably last forever just because how little I drink.
00:30:01
Speaker
Hard liquor. Well, whiskey is more like a sipping type of drink most of the time, too.
00:30:11
Speaker
um Well, congratulations, Evan. a good cigar and a nice bourbon or a nice whiskey on ice is with good. With steak. wait here You know what? Yeah, with steak.
00:30:24
Speaker
Hell yeah. That's awesome. I was going to ask, but I didn't want to throw it out there. But since you threw it out there, man, that's awesome. Congratulations, brother. Yeah, I'm proud of you, dude. i've been I've been cutting back on the drinking. It's been a bit rough.
00:30:40
Speaker
Summer Shandy is awesome, too. about thirty but somey yeah summer shay isn' that I Well, I mean, it's so big secret. I typically only drink on Saturday nights now, so.
00:30:52
Speaker
Might have a couple like throughout the week. Randomly, like last night I had a couple beers. Yeah, you're literally live asking Kayla to fucking give you a beer. I had i had three buter four beers last night yeah three or four beers last night.
00:31:08
Speaker
I feel like it's necessary to taste it. Especially on Saturdays.
00:31:19
Speaker
what's How's that taste? I don't know what the fuck that is. Oh, Madero? I've heard of it. i don't think i've ever had it. Hey, you know what?
00:31:30
Speaker
It was a hard lesson to learn, but you learned that lesson, man. I had one six years ago. oh you know, I believe that, Robert Platinum. 100% believe that. That's, yeah.
00:31:47
Speaker
Yeah. See, so when i when I got my DUI, um like they I eventually had to go to like classes and whatever else.
00:32:01
Speaker
And COVID started to happen. Nice. didn't and have to do anything for mine. I mean, I had to.
00:32:13
Speaker
I had to do some classes. had to do the the DUI class, that 12-hour online class that makes you feel like a giant piece of shit. And I'm like, yeah none of this pertains, like half of it, no, I would say like 75% of this had nothing to do with what I did or what happened. right There was so much drug-related stuff in there. And it's like, I thought it was a DUI.
00:32:41
Speaker
And then the guy kept repeating during this 12-hour course multiple times. If you've gotten one DUI, you're going to do it again. and it's like, yeah, i went 40-some years without doing it. I don't think it's going to happen again, jackass. Because I don't drink and die.
00:33:01
Speaker
But do you? I don't. Okay, good. I don't drink and die. No, but so since it was COVID... um I got away with shit. I didn't have to do, like, piss tests and stuff, and I didn't have to go into to see my... Not parole officer. What is it?
00:33:21
Speaker
oh Probation officer.
Legal Troubles and Redemption Stories
00:33:23
Speaker
Thank you. You're a parole
00:33:29
Speaker
So, and he was, like, he like, had long hair. i was, like, super hippie type dude. He probably smoked mad weed back in the Um, Yeah, so we just did shit like this, video chats. Yeah.
00:33:43
Speaker
And he's like, you good? I'm like, yeah, I'm good. All right, bye. My public defender, I guess he's got a a couple of DUIs under his belt. I'm like, yeah, great public defender to have. You know, a repeat offender.
00:33:58
Speaker
ah you Like, what the fuck? My public defender was like six foot eight. That was great. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but it was wild.
00:34:11
Speaker
And he kind of sucked. It was very quiet. But I mean, whatever. didn't go to jail, so we're good. That's a win. I'm too pretty to go to jail.
00:34:28
Speaker
Deal with it. It's the truth. You can sit there and look at have that ugly face all you want. All scrunched up, looking like a gremlin. Judgy ass. you dirty ears no people gremblin you can't You can't get a job like driving for anybody when you have that until like a certain amount of time. i think it's like six years or something like that.
00:34:56
Speaker
Yeah. All my stuff got expunged. i'm about I'm coming up to that time to expunge it. um I think. Because I'm going to do DoorDash. I'm going
00:35:13
Speaker
to steal all this. Celebration. I'm not or anything, but if I saw an asteroid coming, I'd probably pop a whole bunch of, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. cool cool cool cool cool cool cool way do ah wait ah the Way to help out the algorithm and not say that word. Yeah.
00:35:32
Speaker
nice Nice editing there. I like that. oh kind of Gotta watch it. Yeah, but what would you know how how bad would it suck if that asteroid just kind of like took a hard lift and missed us completely?
00:35:47
Speaker
I'd be like, damn it!
00:35:51
Speaker
The dinosaurs are gone. Yeah, now fortunately fortunately for me, since it was with my record being spotless and my driving record being so good, Um, they said once I did the, the program they had that they would expunge my record. So they cleared.
00:36:10
Speaker
They did it for you or did you like ask them to do it? No, no, they did it. It was part of, it was part of the, uh, I guess you could say ruling or whatever. Once I completed, as long as I did everything I was supposed to do and paid off my fines, which I did and then took my class, um, and didn't get in any more trouble.
00:36:28
Speaker
Um, then they just expunged. I had to go, which sucked because I had to drive back to PA and sign all the paperwork and pay for the expungement process. And I'm like, that sucks. But it's it was worth the drive. Drive up there, spend the night, got up that next morning, signed what I needed to sign, and pay for it, and hit the road and come back home.
00:36:55
Speaker
Yeah, but because like when I asked The dude, he was like, because I was like so what happened? He's like, so basically your file is just ah on a shelf collecting dust unless you do something bad. And then after a few years, you can expunge it and then it would be gone.
00:37:16
Speaker
Then I would just be brain... i keep forgetting of hair. fucking weirdo.
00:37:26
Speaker
You're not going to have too much hair if you keep wearing hats, you fuck. I've wore hats my entire life, and I've got a thick, full mane. man yeah You're not going to have any hair if you keep wearing hats.
00:37:39
Speaker
Oh, well, it is. It is. Keep talking. I don't have no hair because I'm going to snatch that weave. Yo, Kayla, control of your boy.
00:37:53
Speaker
I'm going to hold you down and shave your head New Year's Eve. He is yours for six hours every Saturday. I'm not going to be in here for six hours. Let me tell you. I'm going to give you the same threat that I gave my son the other day. you keep messing with me, I'm going to give you the Hulk Hogan haircut.
00:38:08
Speaker
and the chair Okay. I'll probably rock it. You too. You get a tattoo right on the top of your head too. That would hurt like a bitch, but I'm down.
00:38:19
Speaker
You paying? You could do it yourself.
00:38:24
Speaker
I could. You just need a couple mirrors. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I just need a few more mirrors. and perfect hairline might being
00:38:41
Speaker
Don't worry. One day when you're when you're when you when you're when you grow up and you become a big boy, your beard will connect. Oh, by the way, weight goes up and down, Evan. I have lost some weight since I was in Charleston, quite a bit.
00:38:56
Speaker
this ah hu poor thing it looks like alopecia you got a Jada Pinkett Smith beard oh my god alright wake up Brittany wake up wake wake
00:39:18
Speaker
oh she would too
00:39:22
Speaker
wake up
00:39:25
Speaker
like yeah Who's that? Just some of it down. Thank you. so proud of you. i would you help Let me ask the music. have a music question. Oh, I mean, I guess you do have Glick's House of Music on Tuesdays. Yeah.
00:39:50
Speaker
How'd that go this Tuesday? It didn't. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't. i was supposed to have a guest, um but I guess she was sick or something, so...
00:40:04
Speaker
I don't know what I'm going to do next week. I have a few other people that I hit up that are going to hit you up. Sliding in DM, son?
00:40:16
Speaker
Yes. um A couple of them you might have to hit up, but I do have ones that are a little smaller, so they'll gladly come on.
00:40:27
Speaker
I don't do those small no-name bands. I only do big bands. on a big time. hi
00:40:44
Speaker
Walker. I'm sorry you had to move back to Alabama. I don't know why anybody would be happy to move back to Alabama.
00:40:54
Speaker
did they violate Did they lose? i see The last time I seen the score, it was like 21-7. Alabama's awesome. Shut the fuck up. but the ding ding d dar d ah Yeah, you think?
00:41:12
Speaker
Oh, it's not even on there. Your brother's your daddy and your uncle's your sister. Welcome to Alabama. Give them a black eye. I'd give you a black eye, Robert Platinum, but...
00:41:26
Speaker
Thanks, buddy.
00:41:29
Speaker
Sweet home, Alabama. Where my grandpa's from, Balabotry, Alabama. That game still hasn't started, and it's almost quarter after eight. but Hence the butt.
00:41:49
Speaker
Oh, damn. We're already 40-some minutes in, Britt. What are you doing? What do you mean? Nice. Roll Tide. Somebody just knocked their sister up.
00:42:02
Speaker
to It's kind of like in ah Miracle on 31st Street. Every time a bell rings, an angel gets wings. Every time somebody shouts Roll Tides, somebody's sister gets pregnant.
00:42:17
Speaker
Bye, Uncle Daddy. There it is. It's Saturday night. The link is dropped. Dropped, dropped, dropped, dropped, dropped. Drop out the link. Come in here, bitches. I'm tired of talking. I need to go to our channel so I can pin that. I wish I could pin that from here.
00:42:38
Speaker
You know what mean? Yeah, yeah. i can put i can put I can put us in a timeout. And I can ban or delete our comments, but I can't pin my comments.
00:42:50
Speaker
It's freaking stupid. So dumb. So dumb. There we go. alright I'm sharing it. I'm sharing it on me.
00:43:02
Speaker
Platforms. There we go. Drop that link one time. That's a sneaky link. Shh. Stop putting all my secrets out there, Robert Platinum.
00:43:15
Speaker
I don't fucking see. but Moonshine black eye. Oof. Oof.
00:43:28
Speaker
Let
00:43:31
Speaker
me get off my phone. Wake up. I'm going to make another cup of coffee or some shit. I need do another shizot.
00:43:41
Speaker
Shizot? Okay, cheese bees. As Little John once said, shat, shat, shat, shat. There's a very embarrassing video of me and my sister when I was younger on YouTube.
00:43:58
Speaker
Yeah. Where is that on YouTube? I'm not fucking telling you. oh but you should. Well, then then we had another video that we did. It was just like pictures put together.
00:44:14
Speaker
it wasn't even like whatever. was just a bunch of clips of pictures of us going to the song. I was friends with this band. Doing drugs? No.
00:44:27
Speaker
oh I don't think I... No, I did. I totally smacked me at that. um That's not a drug. It's a fucking plant. First of all. yeah Robert Platinum.
00:44:38
Speaker
Nobody enjoys throwing up when they get sick. Nobody enjoys that. Well, I mean, it feels kind of good because you're like, all right, let's go. we Now I can fill myself up. Well, you can't.
00:44:56
Speaker
The best thing about throwing up when you're drinking real heavily is the puke and rally. Yeah. yeah Go call us dinosaurs and then puke and rally. ah I used to do that. but I was like, God.
00:45:16
Speaker
cal That makes me want to take another shot for a favor. Nothing tastes good going out.
00:45:25
Speaker
I remember being a young whippersnapper in the 90s and going to parties and getting all sloshed on Mad Dog 2020. I was like really big into Fireball for a while there.
00:45:44
Speaker
and And Boone's Farm. Boone's Farm.
Drinking Stories and Substance Use Discussions
00:45:49
Speaker
But Mad Dog 2020, yeah, that's that's cheap shit. Yeah, man. And depending upon what color you were drinking that's what color your vomit was
00:46:01
Speaker
o or your shit as well or your shits but generally it wasn't the shit that was concerning it was usually the vomit after you drink three or four bottles of uh yeah it tastes good coming back up again wow i have to try that
00:46:22
Speaker
I'm going to go inhale a bag of Twizzlers and then make myself throw up
00:46:30
Speaker
up.
00:46:33
Speaker
Just to test this theory. Let's give it a shot. but Use a Twizzler as a straw. Have you ever done that?
00:46:44
Speaker
I haven't, but I've seen people do that. um Somebody was up on the panel a long time ago They were drinking the that smeared off red, white, and blue.
00:46:58
Speaker
Yeah. And they were drinking it through a Twizzler. That sounds good, actually. That was the first time I ever seen anybody use a Twizzler as a straw.
00:47:09
Speaker
For real? Mason and Seagram's jim and gin in the same cup. I'm bad, bro. That's jungle juice. You were definitely bad, bro. but
00:47:25
Speaker
That's funny. My ancestors' last name was Boone, and they were from Boone, North Carolina.
00:47:32
Speaker
Okay, so where it that's where the incest is actually happening. Oh, there's definitely incest in North Carolina, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia.
00:47:45
Speaker
You're naming all of the fucking places where my family is from. And i didn't even know that, but...
00:47:55
Speaker
If the incest shoe fits, wear it. fine background You know the old saying, Brittany. Incest is the best. Put your cousin to the test.
00:48:09
Speaker
I didn't hear that last part. Put your cousin to test.
00:48:15
Speaker
I've never heard that part. ah Yeah, incest is best. I've heard that. Cousin love is legal in most states. Well, yeah, as long as there's a third cousin. and And like all states, third cousin is not considered incest.
00:48:30
Speaker
But in some states, it's legal for you and your first cousin to marry. Yeah, this man that I used to work for, he married his first cousin.
00:48:42
Speaker
And where were they from?
00:48:51
Speaker
He lived in Maryland, but they moved up to Michigan. so So the incest is reaching Maryland, huh? I guess. whoa I wouldn't know.
00:49:04
Speaker
No, because you were down in incest in Alabama. No.
00:49:13
Speaker
Oh, my God. Ew. Like they were as they were still frozen when you were eating them? I had to come back up again. Oh my god. Ew, it's just making me sick just thinking about it. Hot dogs?
00:49:29
Speaker
Oh my god. I'll tell you what, hot dogs are a good junk food, man. When you're drunk, gets you a hot dog, like especially with like chili and cheese on it, or or some relish and some some honey mustard. That's a good junk food.
00:49:42
Speaker
All I can think about is throwing it up now. Ass and lips. Ass and lips. That's all hot dogs are, man.
00:49:55
Speaker
Nope. Nope. no What don't you got to worry about, Robert Platinum?
00:50:04
Speaker
Him being my cousin, maybe. For the Caucasus region. are the co oh yeah they kind butla bla You're doing great. Words are hard.
00:50:15
Speaker
yeah You had it right the first time. Is it right? Caucasus? Yeah. It's not Caucasus. like delicious shit that Cock. you
00:50:30
Speaker
know what's up. This cock. Alright, I'm waking up. No, never. i never do that.
00:50:44
Speaker
Shut your whole mouth, Christine. Cock. Ha ha ha ha
00:50:54
Speaker
eight bro oh my god chris technicians said oh somebody said cock i'm here i'm back where's it at yeah when i was getting my license i think i told you this already actually but yeah the the lady was like had her back towards me and she was like oh britney cox how do you spell your last name C-O-C-K-S. And I just, I didn't respond. I just stood there. She turned around. She was like, what? I'm like, girl, really?
00:51:31
Speaker
Yup. ah And then she was like, oh my gosh. I was thinking about cocktails because I went out with my girlfriend. I'm like, yeah, sure.
00:51:42
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, you were. Yeah, sure. Yeah, you are. Swore. yeah you are floor spread That was fun. That's
00:51:57
Speaker
above me. Good
00:52:00
Speaker
ah times. If Brittany chooses me, I'll let her hit the Newport 100 and her skin might magically grow darker and her hair will become... Jesus Christ, Robert.
00:52:12
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:52:16
Speaker
He's like... He was like, I will transform this white devil into my Nubian queen. Hit the Newport 100. i can't.
00:52:30
Speaker
Nope. I quit smoking years ago. did you want you yeah You don't smoke, do you? No, don't smoke cigarettes now. Well, cigarettes, yes. I vape.
00:52:44
Speaker
Yeah, if like i if I get a new job, they're like, do you smoke? I'll be like, smoke i never know how to answer that question.
00:52:54
Speaker
No, but yes. I don't know. That's how I got my job, because I said, smoke what? and they were like, eh, you're hired.
00:53:15
Speaker
Let's go work. Oh, no, it's not legal there. What are you talking about? i was going say, why don't you go work in like a dispensary or something? It is legal in here. Well, I'm in Maryland right now. I already applied to two different dispensaries. Is PA 100%?
00:53:30
Speaker
No, it's about it's about to be. It's just medical right now. Yeah. But I still go to Maryland. You're high, heard. Heard.
00:53:44
Speaker
Yo, the one dispenser that I go to is fancy as mother fuck. It is like all the front chicks are hot as fuck too. is that why it's fancy? Because it's got hot chicks? or No, no. The whole place. I think I sent a picture on our group thing one time.
00:54:02
Speaker
yeah They have a doorman. Yeah. i think ah Don't know a lot of them have door people?
00:54:11
Speaker
Maybe like like security, but this is like you're going into like a fancy ass restaurant because they have like chandeliers and shit like that. as say we know i've only been to I've only been to one. And um it it was it was it was pretty nice. I mean, I didn't know what to expect walking in. I don't know anything about that shit.
00:54:33
Speaker
But they like, it's all behind like locked doors. You got to go in and they check your IDs and then they ah do this and then they like buzz you in. and Then you i have to double check your ID once you get your bud tender.
00:54:47
Speaker
yeah no i applied to two different dispensaries. We've four or five dispensaries just within five minutes of my house.
00:55:03
Speaker
four or five dispensaries just within like five minutes of my house
00:55:10
Speaker
nice and they were there i mean they've been there since it was medically um you know now ohio's recreational and stuff like that oh aren't they oh it's a nice ohio is 100 legal across the board good maryland is too i still haven't switched my address over to pennsylvania and i don't know if i want to really i'm like literally like 10 minutes away from maryland Yeah, it sounds like But what
Cannabis Legalization and Comedy Show Preview
00:55:44
Speaker
does it matter? Because, I mean, people used to go up to Michigan all the time Because Michigan was 100% legal And they would go up there and buy stuff from Ohio or other states I'm up to Ohio from, like, surrounding states And buy stuff It doesn't matter if you're from another state And you go there and buy it They don't give a fuck As long as you're of age What's the legal age buy weed? Is it 18? 21
00:56:09
Speaker
twenty one 20? 21? 21, yeah. Cigarettes are 21 now. You have to be 21 to buy cigarettes now. Oh, yeah. That's been a thing for a while.
00:56:22
Speaker
It's 5% legal. How is it 5% you know Please do explain it there, Robert.
00:56:34
Speaker
Yeah, it's yeah it's legal it's legal up here, Evan. It's been legal, what, now almost two years? Three years? Maybe like four.
00:56:45
Speaker
It's been two or three years, I think. i mean Again, it it doesn't I don't smoke, so I don't i don't know. yeah doesn't matter. Either way, when the the New Year's Eve shit happens, you know where I'm going, bitch. I have no idea where you're going. Good. I like it.
00:57:08
Speaker
I'll be like, just wait in the lobby. Yeah.
00:57:19
Speaker
Yo, I am seriously going to have some PTSD when I go back to that. No, you won't, because it'll be a good time. And, yeah, we're going to have fun New Year's Eve. Kayla's got her dress and everything for New Year's Eve.
00:57:30
Speaker
Oh, she's already prepared. Bitch, you're more prepared than me. That's not fair.
00:57:38
Speaker
Brittany's going, Willy Wonka's Giggle Bush Factory.
00:57:43
Speaker
You're not wrong. He'll be there, Britt. Wait, wait, what? He's going to be there?
00:57:55
Speaker
I said I can guarantee you he'll be there because I didn't buy dress for nothing. me I'll be there. You fucking better be. well i'm the I'm the main attraction. I have to be there.
00:58:06
Speaker
Shut the fuck up, dude.
00:58:10
Speaker
medical is legal here and I got to go to the vape shop and they sell him. Oh, cool. our Our vape shop sell we all kinds of weird stuff. Like what is that? Delta eight? Yeah. It's like the, the fake shit.
00:58:22
Speaker
Yeah. It's not good shit. Yeah. That's a waste of money. I don't know anything about anything. I, like I said, uh, beer has never been illegal for me. It has been illegal in the past during prohibition.
00:58:37
Speaker
but it's never been legal illegal in my lifetime.
00:58:43
Speaker
Whatever different strokes for different folks, you know, oh I don't, and I don't smoke, so I don't know anything about it. I don't know what is what or what does what I didn't even know that different. I've learned that recently different strands and different things make different things happen.
00:58:56
Speaker
Yeah. Like sativa and indica. You're welcome. Indica, you're in the couch. In the couch. Didn't you say that? Yeah. Yes. I thought that did it.
00:59:10
Speaker
No, and I'm not getting married. No, Evan, I'm not getting married. New Year's Eve, we're doing a ah Michael Copenhaver, who's on the network, who might pop up at some point tonight.
00:59:28
Speaker
um He is doing a little comedy show. So it's Michael and Britt and snotty. Tyler Snodgrass. Robert Coleman. And Michael B. Anthony.
00:59:46
Speaker
That would be sweet. No, Robert Coleman is the 2025 winner of the series of comedy.
00:59:59
Speaker
I still feel like that's just made up. More made up than my championship belts.
01:00:07
Speaker
What is that? I'm going to tell him you said that. I'm going to tell I'm going to tell him. No, that is a big deal. Okay? That is a big deal.
01:00:17
Speaker
They go to Vegas and there's like a bunch of people and he won the whole fucking thing. So I'm opening up for that home skillet biscuit.
01:00:31
Speaker
What?
01:00:33
Speaker
I'm still trying to figure out these fucking comments. still transfer is on but The devil's lettuce is illegal because they associate it with the blot.
01:00:48
Speaker
Well, I'm trying to and to upload the... Bouguersugar is different. Wait, what? Man, and and I love me some Bouguersugar.
01:01:01
Speaker
and But yet you won't smoke weed. Fucking weird. Man, yeah, fucking... Cocaine. I don't care. Different strokes for different folks.
01:01:13
Speaker
Tuesdays and Thursdays, meth and throat punching hookers at the Glick household. Oh, yeah, man. At the Glick Casa. okay I can't even like be serious about that. There we go. ah It's not very big, but there you go. That's what she said. It's facts.
01:01:35
Speaker
Facts on facts on facts. Yeah. There's Eve. ah Underground Lounge in Warren, Ohio. You got Michael Copenhaver, Britt, Britt Tenney.
01:01:48
Speaker
Yeah, I'm opening. Tyler Snodgrass and um
01:01:55
Speaker
Robert Coleman, you fuck. Oh, man. No, never mind. There was an old, like, Robert Platinum, help me out, dude. The old black sitcom. What the hell is the the the fat black dude? What was his name? What's the Coleman looks like? Help me out, Robert Platinum.
01:02:13
Speaker
Oh, he kind looks like a chunkier version of, like, the Reading Rainbow guy. LeVar Burton? Yeah. That's a soul. That album?
01:02:26
Speaker
Fat Albert. No, not Fat Albert. ah Oh my God. I can't even think of the television show. it a rainbow Different strokes. Was it different strokes?
01:02:39
Speaker
Oh my God. Mr. Dr. Professor Reverend Shaman said, they got a whole lot going on there. well Is that Shaman? Was it? Was it Jefferson's? You know, I'm talking about the fat guy. had the red hat, like the red, not, not, not, um,
01:02:55
Speaker
Rerun, right? Rerun. Help me out, guys. You're on your own. What are you talking about, Willis? No, that's not not that guy. Oh, but he kind of does.
01:03:10
Speaker
He's like ah his dad or something. What you talking about, Willis? What's happening? Yeah, rerun. He does look like rerun, right? i knew it was going to come to me on what's happening.
01:03:24
Speaker
He does not look like Rerun. That's what said. He does. Shut up, Robert Platinum. Yeah. Look at Gary Coleman over here. Gary Coleman was two foot tall.
01:03:37
Speaker
I still haven't met Robert. The community was no help in this situation. You guys failed. Give back your Obama phone, Robert Platinum.
01:03:49
Speaker
yeah Jesus. Jesus. We're already canceled. No, either way. So, yeah, was say robert coleman Robert Coleman, Tyler Snodgrass, Brittany, Brittani, Michael Copenhaver, they're going to do comedy, and then after they get done doing comedy, we're going to go live on the network for a special nonsensical nonsense where these ass heads are going to be. better not touch my fucking microphone, you bitch.
01:04:21
Speaker
I'm not. I'm just going to sit back behind you and go... Shitballs! Fuck! Cock!
01:04:32
Speaker
It's not even funny. It is. It is it is a little funny. know. I know you said that you were not going to fuck with me while I'm doing stand-up. No, I'm not going to fuck with you at all. Actually, I don't even... want to, like, not even be, like,
01:04:51
Speaker
i'm going to be in the back of the room so that I don't distract you or fuck you up or anything like that. Well, I do want to see you because part of my joke is, or part of my bit, it would be helpful if you were there.
01:05:07
Speaker
would be helpful. Because, yeah, yeah. Because I don't want to call, I'm going to be calling out people about something in particular and if, like,
01:05:21
Speaker
It's not plants necessarily But I don't want to hurt anybody's feeling thought a tomato What the fuck is this Boo You suck it's chained You can do that I don't know who the fuck that is Show your face Hell yeah Do you want me to bring them up or not Yeah, I'll bring him up. Hold on.
01:05:53
Speaker
I got it.
01:05:56
Speaker
He might get doubled. Okay, I'm not i'm um' i'm over on the comments. How you doing today, motherfucker? Are you doing okay today?
01:06:08
Speaker
What's going on, Shang? long time i'm sure know Yeah, I know. How you doing? I spoke to you a few weeks ago, but i yeah, I've been busy. So how you doing today? I need some brittle gel.
01:06:19
Speaker
You want to do my nail? Oh, my God, they look so delicious today, big boy. Oh, my God. mark one more Cancelled. how was your how was your Thanksgiving holiday, Chang?
01:06:31
Speaker
and No, i don't i don't I don't celebrate it. I so i celebrate ah Chinese New Year. We let off the firework. But ah my my stupid wife, yeah she got the firework off her vagina, and it went kabang, and now she's got a big hole. Oh, my God, it's so disabled.
01:06:46
Speaker
What the fuck is happening right now? Oh, my God. Oh my god, that's what she said when it went off. She liked it one time. Bro. She liked the big experience. It went, ka-pow! What the fuck?
01:07:01
Speaker
So how you do to... Yeah, that's what I mean. Now she's so disabled. She's in a wheelchair. It's her home fault. She got it stuck. Oh my god, what the fuck? She's disabled or her vagina is disabled?
01:07:12
Speaker
but that both of it but know the but the Disabled looks like it was being caught in a bear trap. It's no good no more. So I'm looking for a new wife. Do you want to be my new wife today?
01:07:24
Speaker
What the fuck is happening? Sorry. I need to bring him up because I cannot. shaman shaman said oh my god Oh my God. It's Hitler. and oh my god it's hitler oh Hitler's had What the fuck?
01:07:39
Speaker
but Actually, I've been more known to... That's Custin' De Castro, actually. That's Fidel. I like your mustache. Your mustache does it keep your mouth warm today?
01:07:51
Speaker
it oh it does. Oh, my God. That's so delicious today, big boy. Oh, my God. Big boy. Big boy. This guy has a has a fun time. I can party with him.
01:08:03
Speaker
You can party with me today. Oh, my God. Ding, ding, ding, ding, Can you do a backflip today? Can you do a backflip? Oh, my God. How does he fucking know I can do backflips? Wait, you can do backflips? You can do a backflip.
01:08:16
Speaker
Prove it, Johnny. No, I can't. I'm going to break my neck. Okay. So why are you trying lies today, motherfucker? You can't tell lies. You weren't the first motherfucker to ask me to do a backflip.
01:08:27
Speaker
Well, you said you could do it, and now you're saying you can't, so that makes you a liar. Oh, my God. What the fuck? Why are you telling lies? This is Saturday, folks.
01:08:39
Speaker
I like you. I like you. You missed Chang. Fidel, Johnny, weren't you up here? When Chang came up and hung out with us a couple weeks ago, weren't you up here?
01:08:50
Speaker
Oh, thank yeah and and you. And ran away. Remember, he closed his door. i Was that the same person? So hot. mean so huh
01:09:04
Speaker
rick I think Rick was here. i think Rick was here. it was add Okay, I might get him miss missed. Okay, I thought it was you. Dude, Chang, that is not your real accent. it like Why are you trying to discriminate me, motherfucker? This is me. I'm from China. My name is... He said, your mustache is racist.
01:09:24
Speaker
ah he said he and yo mustaches racist love
01:09:34
Speaker
i saw there i so and a you Are you a Nazi with that mustache to today? sir
01:09:42
Speaker
I bet you want but you will have a Nazi costume in your in your wardrobe and then that's what I mean. only it's It is awful reminiscing. Do that. Put your hands in the air. I'll probably do that. Is that the one that you got from your dad?
01:10:01
Speaker
What? Is that another one that you got from your dad? Oh no, this this one's this one's mine. Did you they youll get that mustache from from your father as well? Because that's a hairy mustache. I thought it was a disabled spider on your face. Don't talk shit about his motherfucking mustache because it is glorious.
01:10:19
Speaker
It's glorious? what what Are you blind? I know I've got Chinese eyes and they're slanted, but what what are you looking at? What the fuck? He looks great. Given how fucking mustache right mustache rides, Ming, it's gonna happen.
01:10:34
Speaker
what we not know We're not back in the 1800s. What the fuck are you trying to prove? It's going to happen. Chen, maybe Phil Bongs could be your new wife.
01:10:47
Speaker
Got it. He did. mid way around he did So Brittany, do you want to be my new wife? You can cook in my restaurant. on You can be my new chef today. Oh, yeah, I have plenty of cats. I can already hear the wedding bells ring today. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's what I mean. I can already picture you in an apron.
01:11:10
Speaker
That's all I'm wearing. That's what I mean. We can audit we can we can order the booze at Nude. Oh, my God. It was so delicious. Oh, my. Yeah, I have plenty of stray cats around the town that I live in. Oh, you've got a cat? Oh, my God. What what but what what what is your name? but Well, no, I just put down my cat, but no, I said stray cats for the food. oh and all yeah we We have lots of stray cats in China and I have them for my breakfast. Oh my God. It's so delicious. I like and i came with the stir fry and the f egg fried rice today. Oh my God. And the curry sauce. It's so delicious. um yeah Oh my God. It's so scrummy today.
01:11:52
Speaker
i I really hope you're actually Asian. I'm Asian. Look at my skin. I'm yellow. I look like Homer Simpson. We got the same color. Oh my God. don't walk Oh my God. So at my high school, we had unity day yeah and it was like to, you know, have everybody be all unified. um And we were shredding words that were offensive. Shut the fuck up for a second. Listen motherfucker, don't tell me to shut up. Someone ask me a question. You're on my fucking panel, so shut the fuck up. It's my panel now because I'm big chang, so you listen to me.
01:12:31
Speaker
So we were shredding words that were offensive and yellow was one of them. we were stredding words that were offensive in yellow who was one of them Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't just be all willy-nilly just dropping people down.
01:12:48
Speaker
i yes I fucking can. you did It happened. he just Fuck around and find out. Oh my god, I just realized I'm the background.
01:12:59
Speaker
Yeah. What the shit? it's me it's The game just started. ah How long has that been there?
01:13:10
Speaker
Before you came in. Holy shit. I fucking dig it. Yeah. Holy shit. You can come back in, Chang. Okay, come on. Let's go.
01:13:24
Speaker
Britney is fighting communism. up Come inside, Chang. She's not doing a very good job. He's here every weekend. We're going to make Chang come inside.
01:13:37
Speaker
we're not. I don't want slanty-eyed children. Sorry. That's fucked. That's racist. You want to come inside, Ken? Great. Now I'm going to called a racist again because of somebody else's comments. He's going to come inside. Okay.
01:13:55
Speaker
No, he's not. The only thing that made me come is your mother sits on my face today, big boy. Oh, my God. like im among one If only you were here earlier.
01:14:10
Speaker
like Why was your mo ma your mother speaking about me? Oh my God, because I left a long time. She loved me. Oh my God. she's out She wanted my... She grabbed my two zero, right? And she she grabbed it a long time. And then I done the helicopter with my two inch. And she was like, oh my God, ding wah. And I thought, oh my God, it's so delicious. And then we yeah we don't know and then we don't know why I'm in the bedroom. And then because she's so big, right?
01:14:33
Speaker
I jumped on top of her and my ass burned off the light bulb. And she's so big and hot, right? And that's what I mean. And when she comes out the house, people want a harpooner because she's so big. She looks like Shemo. Oh, God. Come on, man.
01:14:47
Speaker
like
01:14:49
Speaker
But the thing is, they're talking about me, that you can't discriminate me, and then you can't throw it. Also, two inches, you're being too generous to yourself. You know that, right? But the thing is, she won't complain. She won't complain. That's why she said she loved me. She loved me.
01:15:07
Speaker
This is the Chang show now. i'm I'm probably just going to fucking leave. Yeah, because Glick knows how. the fuck up. That's a motherfucker. Dude, you talk too much. you charges about And the thing is, you don't speak enough because you're so simple. You're sat there not saying nothing.
01:15:26
Speaker
I can't even get fucking word. I can't fucking talk Bitch, I will fucking drop your ass out of here again The floor is yours You tell your life story We are listening Oh my god, don't even know what to fucking say You just said you wanted to speak So the floor is yours, so speak I need my toes done I know you can do that Oh, my God. but Let's talk about toes. and So, everybody, what how is your toes? Glick, how is your toes today? Are they nice? So, let's talk about toes.
01:15:58
Speaker
They're Bigfoot. I got big feet. Sasquatch feet. Okay, okay. I saw a lot of your people here today. And mustache. He has mustache on his toes. So, he's got mustache on every toe here. So, he's got every toes. He's dying in the chat. Is that really Shaman? don't know. I don't want to tell you.
01:16:21
Speaker
It probably is. Brittany's in charge of the back door. It's totally look like a mop. What's Brittany going to do to your back door?
01:16:33
Speaker
and and not The only thing that goes near my back door is toilet roll. Nothing. else
01:16:41
Speaker
so then okay If you want to talk about back doors, I heard your back door looks like the Japanese flag, right? So big and revenue. Well, Oh, was going to get you on my back door. Come on now. Okay, do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Close your door. Close your door. Turn on here. Oh, my God. That's it, Frank. I was so excited for a second. Your back door is so big and red. Your back door is so big and red.
01:17:11
Speaker
I was about to pull the trigger on Johnny Bong. I thought he was going to show his bare ass on the show. I going to be I would never. i would never have promenade i love you i'll whip my pecker out i might fall out the energy sometime but it it'll never get there oh o cheng is a lot to handle but he's fucking hilarious it is funny but it it got old um i was having fun with it yeah he came in a couple weeks ago like late in the show and it was just me and rick And Rick and I were fucking dying. We were crying. Of course you were. You guys are meatheads and they think the stupidest things are so funny. I can't wait for you to call me a meathead 47 times in your roast.
01:17:55
Speaker
Oh, I'm definitely going to say meathead. And I'm going to Fuck you, first of all. I hope the has a cord on it because i'm going to tell Michael to give it to me so I can just kind of Like a fishing line, I can just randomly tug on it.
01:18:14
Speaker
I got it right here. Are you going to give it to you? i I'll throw it at his fucking meathead.
01:18:25
Speaker
I'll go old school wrestling and run across it. Bitch, you want this mic? There's never a dull moment over here, and I appreciate it. What you been up to, Johnny Bonks?
01:18:37
Speaker
uh oh fuck i actually i did some reviews today on some local spots here nice like what kind of local yeah what what kind of reviews on what kind of local spots so one was a got a dim lit sushi place we went to and the other was a we need paying back
01:19:05
Speaker
Sushi. I love me some sushi. What's your favorite kind? Oh, shit, dude. They had this, uh, what's called? A red dragon roll. Dragon rolls are my fucking favorite. i love the green dragon roll.
01:19:20
Speaker
Fuck, yeah. Dude. Yeah, it has shrimp tempura in it, correct? Yeah. It's fucking bomb. Good choice. Oh, fuck, yeah.
01:19:32
Speaker
And then I got something else to actually put like an in-depth of on there. Do I? I got another one that was a little bit more in-depth that I actually went into detail on my skits there.
01:19:47
Speaker
Yeah, I keep trying to like go on to your podcast when you go live, but I always fucking miss it. No, she doesn't. She's lying right now, Johnny Bongs. She's looking you right in the face and lying to you, Johnny Bongs.
01:20:02
Speaker
I ah honestly wasn't. I was looking down when I said that. So yeah fuck off. I don't even have my seat. have no idea if you're lying to me like you just lied to la Johnny.
01:20:14
Speaker
I will never lie to Fidel. Yeah, because he murdered you in the streets. Exactly. I mean, on a live view. Sorry, YouTube, if you're listening.
01:20:30
Speaker
Watch your mouth, boy. Watch your mouth. You got a
01:20:45
Speaker
at a rest stop in West Virginia and I was looking at, you know how they have all like the the the different advertising pamphlets and shit like that?
01:20:56
Speaker
And they had an advertisement for kayaking and canoeing. Dude, you're going to sink those fucking bitches. You can't do that. i'll get about that waremo You're better than that. Don't resort to body shaming. That's just sad.
01:21:12
Speaker
watch Maybe not in that way, but you wo us you do look like a solid fella. He's bigger than you think he is. Body shame me, Brittany.
01:21:26
Speaker
yeah I mean, if anything, thats that's a compliment, sir.
01:21:32
Speaker
yeah mean yeah He's definitely a he's a big boy. You're not a twig, are you? He's a big boy. no I said the last place on Earth that I'm going kayaking or canoeing is West Virginia.
01:21:49
Speaker
Pam flutes are my favorite. Shaman, get your ass up here and show your face. Funny things happen out in West Virginia. Oh, yeah. Oh.
01:22:02
Speaker
hey I heard Kayla. She better fucking show up too. yes oh She already got her dress. Why are you with this guy? Good. I'm excited.
01:22:18
Speaker
I'm going to switch sides. yeah
01:22:22
Speaker
You're going to switch sides? Are you a lesbian now? No, bisexual, but that has nothing to do with anything.
01:22:33
Speaker
oh Bisexual, but... It's like 85% dick and, well, maybe like 90, 10.
01:22:43
Speaker
Bisexual, but who's counting?
01:22:48
Speaker
The world is such a confusing place today. Well, I don't have tits, so it's nice to look at them sometimes. time The interweb has lots of tits. I agree. Tits are nice.
01:23:01
Speaker
Yeah. I concur. It's like sushi with spam. I like my sushi.
01:23:15
Speaker
If you've got them smelling like sushi, there's probably a problem.
01:23:21
Speaker
but my Yeah, for sure. Who doesn't like tablets? They're the best. I have like so many from like Ohio when I came up for Michael Chavez. Shaman, get your ass in here, you stupid bitch.
01:23:37
Speaker
good to do Jesus. That's right. Maybe he's afraid you're just going to dump him out of the fucking panel. Fucking Hitler over here the of the back door. got Fidel Bombs and Adolf Britannia.
01:23:57
Speaker
Guten Tag. Yeah, right. Isn't that what are, dammit?
01:24:04
Speaker
Okay, let's see. Here, I'm going to bring you by Oh, actually, these are we just my grandfather's cufflinks, but what they look like um the color was meant to resemble exactly what it looks like. Yeah, a little bit. you do know. It's meant to resemble exactly that.
01:24:25
Speaker
Well, did you know that if it's the opposite way, it's like for like meditation and yoga shit. What?
01:24:37
Speaker
Are you going to get a kick out of this? So is this, except for it's from Dragon Ball Z. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. yeah fuck you' Dragon Ball Z. I used to watch this shit all the time. Fuck off.
01:24:53
Speaker
Yeah, tell him. ah You fuck off, Fidel Bongs. Okay, fine. Oh. Okay, it's fine. I will. I but ah can take your power away from you.
01:25:14
Speaker
He wanted me to fuck I'll take my own fucking chance. I'll bet you will.
01:25:21
Speaker
Maybe I fucking will, but I stick around because you're my bro. yeah yeah I told y'all you needed a chick on this channel. Look what happened.
01:25:34
Speaker
Unfortunately, sometimes you can't pick your family. You can pick your nose. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. Yeah. True. of I'm happy for it.
01:25:45
Speaker
is Sometimes. ah Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes that a little random thing that you find behind the dumpster at Popeye's follows you home and never leaves. Oh my god, that's a dream. Um, what? No, I was just thinking of Popeye's. no i was calling Everything else. I was calling the stray that was living behind the dumpster behind Popeye's that followed me home and now you won't leave.
Comedic Chaos and Audience Interaction
01:26:13
Speaker
jesus
01:26:16
Speaker
I didn't hear all of it. That's the dream. That's the dream. Sorry, Kayla. Living the dream over here shes
01:26:29
Speaker
here. Shaman get your phone. I just realized that it was Shaman Luther King in the building. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. What song is that?
01:26:40
Speaker
I don't know. What song is that?
01:26:46
Speaker
thank is du
01:26:51
Speaker
wobble me and wo wait wobble wait wobble my colleague card you
01:26:58
Speaker
you listen to that traphouse floor music again oh wow wow wow a what book was it whom Brittany's I'll go get a delicious bucket of Popeyes for you boo what that man's a man's in love with you Brittany he just wants to make you happy okay love you Robert bla um thank you get a door dash for me this is doorda oh damn he basically said door dash me some chicken you bitch
01:27:38
Speaker
boom I did not say that. That's essentially what you said. ah Here's his hoe. Oh my god.
01:27:52
Speaker
You're real fucking. Holy shit. It's the shamanator. Is he real? I'm the shamanator. Y'all are coming to the native shamanator.
01:28:04
Speaker
Is he real? Is he real? though He doesn't show his fucking face. because it's not ah Shaman is actually Jedi. Jedi is Shaman.
01:28:16
Speaker
Shaman. Jedi. It's true. Jedi. Never mind. I'm not going to say it. Kind of like Finkel is Einhorn. Einhorn is Finkel.
01:28:28
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Einhorn is man. That's all my bad crush. Hey, let's let's all admit it. We all had a little crush on Einhorn until we found out she was a man.
01:28:45
Speaker
What's Baldwin's pants? I mean his pants? Yeah, yeah, yeah. until good Your gun is digging into my hip. yeah Yeah, we all had a crush until we found out she was a man. Yeah, sure.
01:28:59
Speaker
Let's go with that. Then that crush just intensified. Am I right? now like Bruce Jenner?
01:29:07
Speaker
It's Caitlyn Jenner.
01:29:11
Speaker
Wow, you're going to body shame me and now you're misgendering that sweet lady Caitlyn Jenner. Did you know that he regretted doing all of that? Sweet my ass.
01:29:26
Speaker
You're on roll tonight, Brittany.
01:29:31
Speaker
Roll Tide. And now you've just got somebody pregnant by their brother. Congratulations. so Thank you. I tried. Jeez.
01:29:43
Speaker
If you touch my motherfucking microphone, I'm going to fucking I can't wait just, like, your hand and and bounce that microphone off your face.
01:29:55
Speaker
I just want to be like, oh, my goodness.
01:30:00
Speaker
Oh, my God. And it bounced off your face. like I'm not bringing my good. good What, Johnny? Bringing that good, good? Oh, my God.
01:30:16
Speaker
Calm down, Enrique and Glacey. Where'd Chang go, man? I miss my miss Chang. I want to talk with him. Get quick. What? Where'd you fire? Where'd you close back door?
01:30:29
Speaker
He's a very nice guy. Very nice man.
01:30:35
Speaker
Oh, my God. Kayla said, I don't fucking like him. Yeah, i it was becoming too much. It's great that I can, i can i can you know, let Brittany control the back door on on so on Saturday, so I never have to be the bad guy. Oh, oh my God.
01:30:58
Speaker
She controls who comes and goes from the back door. huh That's awesome. la Anyways. well I come in my own back door, okay? Wait, what? remember mind a Never mind.
01:31:10
Speaker
it's not good Never mind. I didn't think about that before it came out. It funny. I got a combination lock on my back door.
01:31:22
Speaker
Especially like right around the seams. yeah That makes sense, Shaman. because You don't show your face. Hey, Robert Platinum said, Britney's I'm not qualified in real life, but on the interwebs, he can be your hero.
01:31:34
Speaker
I can be your hero. can be your Something or another. no i don't know.
01:31:50
Speaker
Let them sing it. It would be nice to... Shut up, Chris Technician. Why is everybody ganging up on me tonight? I hate it.
01:32:01
Speaker
It's pre-roast. It's just pre-roasting. that like pre-cum? A little bit. Yeah, yeah. You can't get pregnant. It's going to get on your face, but it's not going to be a big mess.
01:32:18
Speaker
We have like three weeks. Gotta use the salad in the stash. It's pre-cum. like good That's what keeps it in shape. What?
01:32:30
Speaker
what We're just talking shit. Nothing. That's what you use to style your mustache. Pre-cum. Look, asshole. but
01:32:42
Speaker
Look, asshole. I have a jars of cum. yeah There's something about Johnny. Something about Johnny. It's glue for your face.
01:32:53
Speaker
Yeah, pre-cum. It's glue for your face.
01:32:57
Speaker
Is that Harry's pre-cum? Harry. It's got cross polymer in it. Oh, so he's been eating hot seafood.
01:33:09
Speaker
Like Harry's razors? Prop and all. Seven to three now. That's awesome. No, I've heard of Harry's pre-cum. Yeah. a Big hair.
01:33:23
Speaker
I know. i know You're the only one not talking about what we're talking about, Johnny Boggs. Okay, Glick actually made a funny, okay? I'm sorry, Johnny Boggs. That stuff smells good.
01:33:39
Speaker
It's for your face. That's what he said. I hate you all so much. a i'm more of about slow right Yeah, you see how quickly the time turns? Aw, Johnny, you don't hate us. this let's I doubt you're right.
01:33:57
Speaker
And now Johnny, just like that, my minions are back on Team Glick. The turns are tidying, Glick. The turns are tidying, my friend. You are right. I still got Brith back. God damn it. okay oh so that You can have her back.
01:34:15
Speaker
oh What did she say? She said, I still got bricks back. Fucking scissor slores. I'll take it. She's 15% bisexual, apparently.
01:34:28
Speaker
took They're left-handed scissors? ah tell i'm tooing Shut up. I'm left-handed shaman. yes I'm the real man. What them left-hands do?
01:34:40
Speaker
What them left-hands do? what their left hands do How wouldn't you like to know, big boy? big boy? need Chang in here for that. Big You like big boy? man boy.
01:34:55
Speaker
Oh, my God. I can't even. that's it Society's decaying. Oh, for sure. You're just now realizing that? well I've been doing this show for four years, and you're just like, society's decaying.
01:35:09
Speaker
and so you knew this It's already decayed. It's done. It's gone. Yeah, what is life? I knew there was a reason. Yeah, see heaven? Yeah, I'm left-handed. I'm the real minority. Oh my God. You good?
01:35:24
Speaker
Your lives matter. Oh yeah. Where's my protest? Where's my rioting?
01:35:31
Speaker
well We would do it backwards. As left-handed people, we would have to do backwards. Alright, here comes the beast. um oh Is that your ferocious chihuahua that identifies as a Rottweiler?
01:35:53
Speaker
You're good? you You're transgender, dog. materials that Oh, a transition, baby. You're getting a transition. youly the perfect Oh, my God.
01:36:09
Speaker
come on Is that? Oh, my God. I never even really thought about it. Do people really do that? Like transition their dog? Yeah. Well, of course, if their dog was born in the wrong body, you got to get them the right one.
01:36:22
Speaker
but Stuff in the air. I can smell it. You can tell because, like, my female dog used to play with footballs and stuff, and that's how I knew it was really a boy.
01:36:35
Speaker
um but i it actually you Shaman, did you super glue a fucking dildo on her belly and be like, what is fucking happening right now? I just stretched her nips out.
01:36:47
Speaker
It was a long process, but very invasive. Just put weights on them, you know, that's animal cruelty. Well, you have to put, you have to use a combination of three nipples, two or the nuts and one is the actual dong. And then you have to put a heavier weight on the dong. So it actually gets longer, you know, where was the dong to begin with?
01:37:11
Speaker
Why did I let him in here? Well, is the dong your transition. I think it would be just a lot easier if you just go to the local sex toy shop and buy a dildo and super glue it to her belly and probably a lot less painful.
01:37:26
Speaker
That's it. Another strange phrase in my Google history. No, don't glue it. Get a strap on. oh Another strange phrase in my Google history, nipple braiding.
01:37:40
Speaker
Johnny Bongs. There's a part of me that really wants to see your Google search history, but there's also part that feels like I should never do that because somehow, someway, I would be called into court one day. 98% of it is seeing the euphemisms that exist.
01:38:02
Speaker
man goodness I had a euphemism once.
01:38:09
Speaker
ah Euthanasia?
01:38:13
Speaker
Yeah, that was cool too. yeah
01:38:19
Speaker
typed that in and I thought I was talking about Nipsey Hussle. What? I typed that in and I thought I was talking about Nipsey Hussle.
01:38:31
Speaker
Evan, you used to hang out with me on Periscope. Now I've got a whole band of misfits that are just like me. We all found each other. What are you working on, Johnny?
01:38:43
Speaker
Are you doing some artwork? That's a good fucking question. life and the la Artwork? That's a good question. I'm getting my shit around for the night, yeah.
01:38:57
Speaker
Nice, nice. Johnny, you ready to go to Ohio and do my arms?
01:39:02
Speaker
Yeah. yeah I'll bring my tattoo gun. You can use that. That doesn't sound very confident, Johnny Bonks. Wait, do you have a tattoo gun? You got a gun that shoots tattoos?
01:39:13
Speaker
What the fuck? Yeah, it's pretty dope. and It's actually a pen, but whatever. yeah But no, Johnny Bonds, do you really... going to pay for my tutelage classings and cusses and tattooing.
01:39:27
Speaker
Oh, yeah, i heard that. I remember him saying that. Right, Glick? I'm what? and Right? What? and What do I get out of this deal? You gonna be my little prison bitch?
01:39:39
Speaker
Yeah. That's besides the point. You know, you need a sugar daddy, you have to, there's certain things that you have to do to keep your sugar daddy happy.
01:39:52
Speaker
Kayla, take control your mind. You know means earning money and making tattoos. What's wrong with you people? I'm talking about free tattoos. Get your minds out of the gutter, you animals. Okay, I'm bringing my tattoo pen and I'm going to give you a little snuff. You are not giving me a tattoo. Yes, the fuck I am. in a bunch of fucking perverts,
Personal Anecdotes and Humor
01:40:12
Speaker
man. Oh my gosh.
01:40:14
Speaker
Perverts, Shaman. this is a good This is a wholesome family show. What is wrong with you people? Fucking people, man. If this is a wholesome family show, I'm black. No, you're... What up,
01:40:31
Speaker
See? See? Exactly. And this is not wholesome family fun. This is wholesome family fun. And I'm black.
01:40:42
Speaker
Bones is invited to the barbecue. This is wholesome family fun. Motherfucker. but Oh, my lanta. I don't know.
01:40:56
Speaker
Oh my god. Yeah, you're just as bad as they are. I'm talking about free tattoos. What do you think I'm talking about, you dirty bird? A lot of things. I never really can tell. yeah I like Kayla. She's the best out of the 10 chicks that you dated in the last month.
01:41:13
Speaker
I've been with her for two months, so don't get me in trouble. Do not.
01:41:21
Speaker
end up my she didn't even care that She didn't even care that you said a month. She said there's you only cared that you she you said that she was the best. Hey, whatever.
01:41:33
Speaker
She was like, yes. She's cool people. And she's hot. I don't know what she's doing with you. Fuck.
01:41:46
Speaker
It's my enormous, massive, huge year personality.
01:41:55
Speaker
Your dyed beard. It's my dyed beard. I wish I died. You know what? I'm going to dye my beard all gray for New Year's Eve. The fuck you are. She said the fuck you are.
01:42:06
Speaker
oh yeah. You heard that loud and clear, didn't you? we ah That was the loudest thing that she had said. That's awesome. That's all the fuck you are.
01:42:18
Speaker
but
01:42:21
Speaker
my wish my beard was dyed. It would probably would not. And now it's like the gray used to come in nice and cool. Oh, my God. I never. I'm trying to imagine you without a beard.
01:42:34
Speaker
I can show you a picture. I don't want to see it. It's not pretty. yeah I think I. It's not what you would expect, Britt. think Oh my god. If he has a goatee, he would be Silent Bob.
01:42:50
Speaker
a it's Nice. i ain't mad at that. I'm not mad at that at all. I love i love Kevin Smith. I ain't mad at that at all. Can I be can i be ja Yes.
01:43:02
Speaker
co right No, I'm obviously Jay. Stop trying to make male kids females into male characters. Ooh! Oh my god, what is this fucking Disney over here? Holy shit.
01:43:16
Speaker
Yes, it is.
01:43:20
Speaker
Fucking Netflix bought this shit out, I guess. and Surprise. please That's why I'm looking it up.
01:43:31
Speaker
Bro, Johnny Bungs, are you frozen are you just staring at something? no, I'm texting my mother. now he's just really cold. Snapchatting your mom. I'm sending your mom nudes, Johnny.
01:43:43
Speaker
Weirdo. ah I'm sending her nudes too, but they're not of me. If that's the case, considering where she is now, then I don't even want to know what the fuck my family's into. Are they the ones that Jedi sent you?
01:43:56
Speaker
Yeah. Nice. Oh my god. Those are premium.
01:44:06
Speaker
Where's your husband at? ah cooking where he should be. You and Jedi finally tied the knot? How precious. I'm happy for you. Congratulations.
01:44:19
Speaker
Well, I mean, he finally decided to be the small spoon, so now we can happily live together. You know, jet Shaman, it's nice to be the small spoon every once in a while.
01:44:31
Speaker
I'm sure it is. You know the other definition for a knot is? oh I'm sorry, what? naughty you know and another definition for a knot is yeah go for it yeah what is it i say naughty it's a it's a measurement of speed on water i mean regarding this context oh oh well you yeah yeah now you're getting specific okay well that's different go ahead i don't know well
01:45:07
Speaker
they They have some toys with knots in them. Oh, anal beads. No, it looks like a dog penis. Pizzle?
01:45:18
Speaker
Something like that. yeah Red Rocket? Red Lipstick? Sometimes. Fruit Rona? Sometimes. Sometimes.
01:45:30
Speaker
Dude, Johnny Bonds, you're on a roll tonight. is It's like Pokemon. They're different shapes.
01:45:38
Speaker
The what? just call him man they different shapes Oh my god. I just... I don't know why I'm asking more questions. Butt plugs. Because you haven't learned yet?
01:45:53
Speaker
Is it butt plugs? What are we guessing? I forgot. yeah What's going on What's happening right now, Johnny? What are you talking about? Just tell us. Dog penis dildos. Dog penis dildos.
01:46:05
Speaker
Some people... Never mind. Don't take my dog's dildo, man. What the fuck? Yeah.
01:46:12
Speaker
His fucking dog just transitioned. Don't take it don't take his penis. That's my dog's penis. And I want it now. Look, okay. You'd be surprised at things that Google likes to show when you search for other things. That's your algorithm, okay? The the only search is how to dictate a country.
01:46:36
Speaker
yeah want normally donors and Sometimes Google thinks you want to spice up your life, so it shows you other dildos. Stop! Okay, I'm
01:46:48
Speaker
gonna drink to that for some reason, because I feel like I need to. Here, I'm actually gonna send this one to the whole class. Oh, you're a teacher now? Oh.
01:47:00
Speaker
Hello, professor. I mean, if this fucker says class is in session, then I guess so. What are we talking about? Dildos and dicks. And surprisingly, dicks and dildos are in the conversation.
01:47:12
Speaker
And Chris Technician is back. yeah What rhymes with flex? Must be sex ed. Dick. Yes, I agree. That's because he didn't have one. Anyways, I don't know about that.
01:47:29
Speaker
What? This is a
01:47:33
Speaker
It's what conversation between Johnny Bongs. who i bo but bong bo but but Keep doing that. I kind of like that.
01:47:47
Speaker
Oh. Bong, bong, bong. Bong, bong, bong, bong. That's the only thing you're good at. That's the only thing you're good at. Oh, no. I got another thing. my.
01:48:04
Speaker
We're going back to dicks. That's right. like yeah You knew what I was talking about.
01:48:12
Speaker
Fucking hot. What are you doing? Get up here. That's my look. And i my other pictures. The other one I have a hat on. i love that fucking picture. Oh my gosh. i never seen you with a hat on.
01:48:27
Speaker
ah I never wear a hat. What are you talking about?
01:48:32
Speaker
oh Wait, what? Burp, Glick, or no? Burp? Sometimes. no I burp on my own.
01:48:45
Speaker
All right, Britt, you ready to laugh? example Sure.
01:48:53
Speaker
Somebody, Shaman, are you singing? i would never sing. 420 Hoss 4, what What are you doing, Hoss? Get up here. Because there's a star, man. Hold up, Hoss.
01:49:14
Speaker
but so Oh, yeah. So ah Johnny Bongs is officially a part of the network now. Who the
01:49:26
Speaker
the fuck made that decision? I've been helping Wally out with some shit. Yeah. Maybe we give this guy an inch and he takes a foot. Here you go, Brick. You don't have to you want to try to picture me without a beard.
01:49:40
Speaker
And that's what's different. If you give me an inch, I'll give you inch. Who the fuck is that? That's me. About a little over 10 years ago. You look like a fat chick.
01:49:53
Speaker
I mean, a cute fat chick, though. Thank you, Sean. look like you're about to tell a bunch of people not come into school tomorrow. yeah Hey, Johnny. You look like you're about to tell your best buddies not to come to school tomorrow.
01:50:06
Speaker
you pocket I have a list. Don't come to school tomorrow. yeah will say... school tomorrow pinkreuring you I thought were skipping school like a bad kid. i didn't realize we were... Like a fat kid?
01:50:26
Speaker
Bad kid. but I was fucking fat back then. I was a big old chunky motherfucker. So I will say your eyebrows... the you got you got nice You got nice brows.
01:50:40
Speaker
Yeah, man, I take care of my brows. If I don't, I got a fucking full-on caterpillar that crawls across my forehead. Yeah. Yeah, yeah yeah if you go if you look on my Facebook, there's pictures of me without my beard.
01:50:52
Speaker
I might be a picture somewhere on my Facebook page of me with a mustache and I got made fun of and I shaved my mustache because they told me I look like a fat John Candy. I'm like, wait, John Candy was fat. Yeah, he was already fat. was about to They said I was fatter than John Candy. was like, fuck you. I hate every one of you.
01:51:11
Speaker
I had a sweet stomach in the day. My mustache would have made Johnny Bong's mustache Candy's hot fuck. She's hot as fuck.
01:51:23
Speaker
Trust me. I'm fucking looking at her right now. so it am i In person. Oh my. That's
01:51:35
Speaker
I'm going to punch you out on New Year's Eve. That's my woman. We'll see. i am i have But am I? am I? I'm to be looking good too on New Year's Eve. going to rocking my belt. Yeah, but you're not as crazy as I am. I don't have to be crazy.
01:51:55
Speaker
I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to wear. Clothes preferably. Nah, fuck that. for the Fuck that. Fuck that. Go naked. I got a fresh brand new flannel.
01:52:08
Speaker
Fucking naked. You got your nice boots. I do got my nice boots. Those are my good boots. Shut up, whore. it right, bitch. Those are my good boots. They were nice. If you've seen my other boots that I have, you would go, you know what?
01:52:26
Speaker
He's not wrong. Those are his nice boots. I get it. drunk as hell all right now i get it you know i do construction all that my boots are fucked so yes those were nice boots i was just giving you shit shut the fuck up i didn't get it you know what michael said that i i was not the worst addressed at the wedding so oh you weren't you weren't there were a few other people there that were like I don't think I was dressed bad and considering I didn't get an actual answer. Like, I'm not going to go buy a suit and then show up and be the only jackass in a suit.
01:53:01
Speaker
Well, it was business fuckable. Then you'll be the best dressed person. I've worn a suit once in my life. It was business fuckable. So, depends on what kind of business you're running. I was down for business and I was fuckable.
01:53:15
Speaker
It was just a different different type of business. Yeah. A lumberjack. I love doing a single-collar business. He was filling in for a funeral. i just I just came home. I just got there from the farm. Yeah. yeah No, you looked good. i I'm just, you know, I have to give you shit. No, I was like, what the fuck are you wearing right now? Did you get the memo?
01:53:42
Speaker
yeah and I'm sorry. what was on your What was on your way too short dress that you had on? was not that the fuck looking Look at all. Like you going to be easy and sleazy at a wedding.
01:53:57
Speaker
And then got left there. ran Single and ready to mingle, bitches. No. Dude, my dress went down. Just teasing you. Calm down.
01:54:10
Speaker
yeah You were like, I was worried about how I was dressed and then you showed up. like Yeah. i was No joke. For real. I know. And then like, you know, cause Michael stepped on a nail and he was like holy around, uh, he was wearing his van. So I was like, you know what? I'm not putting on my heels.
01:54:29
Speaker
I'm just going to wear my vans too. oh yeah yeah i't what it was She had like a black dress on. What was on your dress? ah Like moon, sun, stars, and stuff like that.
01:54:43
Speaker
It was a cute dress. I would have, yeah, the Vans just completed. Yeah. and I don't give fuck. Oh, shit. is how those can What the fuck is that?
01:54:56
Speaker
It's fucking cannabis infused. Cherry cola. Hold up. Keep it up. Bro. know Glick doesn't care about that, but um I've always wanted try.
01:55:10
Speaker
No, I care about it. I have never tried. um i don't do the weed. What's weed? The weed does you.
01:55:22
Speaker
well the weed doesn't do me either. I like that. Well, then you're doing it wrong, sir. Yeah. I'm doing it at all, sir.
01:55:33
Speaker
Well, that's probably the first mistake.
01:55:38
Speaker
Of people. I end up with the most goddamn stoners on my... And I don't smoke at all. And I have a panel full of stoners. It's a sign you to start, Glick.
01:55:48
Speaker
No. yeah yeah time If I started smoking weed 15 minutes into the show, I'd be... not doing this That was sativas.
01:55:59
Speaker
That's in the couch. I smoked before work. And then if I could, I would smoke during work. Yeah. like can't i collectively Allegedly.
01:56:11
Speaker
No, no. I'll do it. My last job, like literally almost everyone, when we would take our breaks, like the whole parking lot just smoked. When I was doing residential AC, I was a technician. Me and... um I don't know if you guys know that guy. He comes on my show a lot.
01:56:35
Speaker
but That guy's been in the chat. I think he's come up here once before. Yeah, so he he was doing the AC with me, and we would just hit dabs in front of the customer's house and then go in there and just like change the AC out and shit.
01:56:48
Speaker
Fuck, yeah. I did that pressure washing as well. Oh, and construction. You know what? It's all the time. here fuck old a motherfucking time? I smoked before I went to the interview for the job I have now.
01:57:03
Speaker
Yeah, see, okay. okay So I had to do a piss test for it. They did they literally said, do you smell? I was like, what? You had to test piss?
01:57:15
Speaker
um No, son a bitch. They didn't care that I smelled. Once I got injured, oh then they cared because of the workman's comp bullshit.
01:57:28
Speaker
Yep. That's kind of how it works. They're like, yeah, I don't care what you do. That's fine. Oh, you got dirty piss? We're not paying. Yeah, basically. you know o and sucks. but And it really sucks because the place is literally behind my house. like I can walk in the dirt. So it's it's trash. I tried to go to a vitamin shop and I got...
01:57:57
Speaker
um one of those drinks, like the detox drinks, that's what I used to take when I got my... Yeah. but you gotta You gotta make sure you're peeing clear before you... i know, but I had a ah certain time limit.
01:58:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I know. yeah and i knew what was gonna happen because one of my buddies, it happened to him. I knew I was gonna get fired probably, and but whatever. Yeah.
01:58:27
Speaker
dirty source. That's when you gotta to use the ah synthetic urine. I know. That's what I thought. But then also afterwards, there's a couple people that don't smoke in there. And this one guy's wife was like, bitch, why didn't you ask my husband to give you some pee? Dude, I didn't think about that.
01:58:49
Speaker
Thanks for telling me now. yeah right how do likere How does that conversation go? like How do you just ask somebody to borrow their pee? oh Just like that. Hey, you got clean piss? Let me get some. Yeah, basically. yeah Really?
01:59:04
Speaker
you want to charge your today but I'll give you $20 for some clean urine right now. What's good? Does this have to be somebody you know or could you just walk up to a stranger on the sidewalk and just be like that? that's That's totally up to you.
01:59:15
Speaker
yeah You might get a major response. yeah but I've never had to worry about it. i mean I'll give you a nugget of weed if you give some clean pee.
01:59:28
Speaker
In fact, give me me two vials of clean pee if I'm giving you some weed, you know? Yeah, I don't think you're getting clean pee from a guy that's trading a nugget. He'll give it to his wife.
01:59:41
Speaker
Calm them goddamn chihuahuas down. Oh my god, my nails break. Um... Alright, alright. Fuck the shit.
01:59:52
Speaker
I got some pussy at my door and she's getting all excited.
02:00:01
Speaker
I'm sorry, what? I did not like the sound of that. Did you order another hooker? No, I got some feral cash. Watch a Lazy Jedi show up. Britney.
02:00:12
Speaker
Oh my god. yeah Where is Leagiot tonight? I don't know. He didn't respond. so He probably got him in trouble with his wife staying up all night on the phone with you. but but but
02:00:30
Speaker
know He said he'd be he might ah in and a little bit. Who that bitch? Why you staying Little bit is my nickname, so don't say that. He's going to be in a little bit.
02:00:44
Speaker
yeah Bitch. yeah who that That's another one. yeah wrong That's not really nickname. It is what it is. It's more of a description. That little bitch over there.
02:01:09
Speaker
ah My nail is breaking. I gotta go fucking... Can I be the regular size bitch? I don't know. we We don't know because we don't know what the fuck you look like.
02:01:20
Speaker
Shaman, you can be anything you want, buddy. This is American. I want to be American. That's what I want to I'll give you a green card if you show your face.
02:01:33
Speaker
If you give yellow card, then we're talking. I mean, everybody's got a green card. Wait, a yellow card? I'm not watching happen right now. Oh! writtentney oh Brittany, you know, no, Brittany, you just muted yourself.
02:01:49
Speaker
She's talking. She's so excited that she can show off her tattoo, and she's muted. Is it a yellow card tattoo? Yes, it's yellow card.
02:02:00
Speaker
What's going on, Jack? What up, Jack?
02:02:07
Speaker
What's up, Jack? Brittany, you're muted. Motherfucker. You muted yourself, motherfucker. hey but i mean I do like your voice when you're muted, though. yeah Okay, I'm going to go clip my fucking nail really quick. I'll be right back. Okay, great. Now that Brittany's gone, we can talk about her.
02:02:28
Speaker
Oh, thank goodness. I've been waiting for this all night. so she her head with her Oh, she just turned on a light. Oh, she does have lights in her house.
02:02:39
Speaker
that's going to some strong shit when it kicks in. Holy fuck. Johnny, are you going to start hallucinating and shit? Maybe. Give me some hallucinogens, Johnny. I want to i want a trip with you.
02:02:51
Speaker
Last time I did this, I told my mother that if i even moved one inch off the bed, my whole reality was going to go sideways. Oh, I've been that drunk before. You got to put one foot on the floor.
02:03:03
Speaker
No, try being that high. no No, I'm just saying, like, I've been that drunk before where the the the universe hates me and everything's spinning out of control. literally have to put one foot off the side of the bed and put it on the floor to stop it.
02:03:17
Speaker
No, I mean literally that if you move one foot next, you aren't going to be in the same reality as you were before you moved your foot. That's what I'm talking about. i want to know In this world, in this reality, I have to put one foot on the floor hanging off the bed.
02:03:32
Speaker
Then you want to go back to that reality, but you remembered you moved your foot, so you'll never be in that same reality ever again. tell me When I'm in that reality, I don't want to go back to that reality. I want to leave it as quick as possible because there's going to lot of bad things that happen. I'm going to probably puke. I'm probably going to shit myself. I'm going to wake up in a cornfield three hours away, not know how I got there.
02:03:54
Speaker
um feel bad, actually. but I did that one time in a basement. Wow. Woke up in the fucking basement and didn't remember how I got there.
02:04:05
Speaker
Please tell me it was somebody else's basement, not your own. It was somebody I knew. it's just some random person's basement. oh and it was it It was a dirt floor basement, too, so was in a crick that ran through the basement. I was laying in the fucking... You were in John Wayne Gacy's basement.
02:04:27
Speaker
Are you Sarah's JonBenet Ramsey, is that you? the JonBenet Ramsey. What about Rambo? <unk>re We're throwing all these true crime shit out at Johnny Boggs and he's like, he's so confused right now. What about Rambo?
Conspiracy Theories and Bizarre Discussions
02:04:43
Speaker
yeah did you Did you hear that? What's her name? JonBenet Ramsey, is that what it is? but about ah Did you hear what the theory is right now that she's actually Erica Kirk?
02:04:55
Speaker
yeah Are you talking about Charlie Kirk's wife? Yeah. Oh, no, I haven't heard that. Are you serious? Is that really a thing? Yeah, yeah. They're saying that ah like the the the ages kind of line up.
02:05:09
Speaker
you know um If you go back and look at the case, there's some real suspicious shit going on. i mean, you know, it could be. They say she got the same dimple and some little freckle on her face, the eyes.
02:05:23
Speaker
could be that JonBenet Ramsey was never actually... murdered or disappeared that she was actually just given to her family and then she married Charlie Kirk and now she's trying to bang JD Vance well no it's not that she married Charlie Kirk it's that she was trained as an operative to be a honeypot basically and that's why she got with Charlie Kirk so it's all set up and that's why Charlie Kirk got on the live because of her correct
02:05:58
Speaker
She's still trying to bang J.D. Vance. Well, of course, because it's all power. It's all power moves. It's all about that. you know just like Think about like the same kind of shit that Epstein's doing. She would be like a fucking secret agent that's basically playing his husband just so that she could help control him.
02:06:16
Speaker
and I used to bang J.D. Vance. From moving up to couches to Charlie Kirk's widowed wife. Anyways. And look, now she's got a whole fucking, you know, but empire. you say vampire, Brittany?
02:06:31
Speaker
I suck the blood. Oh my goodness. You know where the blood
02:06:46
Speaker
oh my goodness
02:06:50
Speaker
you know where the blood goes but dog and oh What do you want, man? What is it? Yo, chill your chihuahua out, bro. Please do tell, Britt. Where does the blood go?
02:07:02
Speaker
I'm not saying it. You gotta say it. You open the door now, tell us. The blood? You gotta drink it? You gotta suck it up, blood. Oh, my God.
02:07:14
Speaker
I want to fuck your blood. Oh, my what say. a that's what i say yeah technology Like, this is my life now. Why didn't you say, what is my life? He said, this is my life. It's life.
02:07:37
Speaker
It's my life. My life. Thank you, Shaman. Shaman, thank you for being as old as I am and getting my my musical references. I got it, but it it reminded me of my life.
02:07:55
Speaker
Jon Bon Jovi and Steven Tyler as they've aged they've turned into sweet grannies they look like grandmas now yes well i think gus are they gilfs?
02:08:08
Speaker
they're gilfs 100% gilfs stop don't say that shit that's part of my joke Oh, it's New Year's Eve. Oh, my bad. I didn't realize you were the only person in the world to ever use the term guilt. Okay.
02:08:22
Speaker
So I've been, like, writing my bit for the show. And, like, for some fucking reason, every time I go on to the panel here or the Lazy Shaman show, like, somebody brings up something that is, like, super close to what I'm going to say. That's because the shaman that have. planet's secret cameras and microphones that follow you everywhere you go. I'm a fucking shaman. I travel to astro realms. I wouldn't doubt if someone did. Yeah, I just told you we did.
02:09:02
Speaker
You know what I'm saying. I just told you we did. All right, cheers. I hacked your phone. Enjoy the show.
02:09:12
Speaker
I act your phone. I watch you play video games while you take shits all the time. ah That's my phone. Oh, damn it. thought she had a hairy chest. hope that's Brittany's phone. Oh, my God.
02:09:28
Speaker
one but Yeah, you're not wrong. yeah ah You're not wrong. It wouldn't. So I um might be starting some ah tattoo classes soon. I'm not paying for your tattoo classes. I'm apparently already paying for Fidel's.
02:09:49
Speaker
You know, he's a busy guy. He can't afford to pay for tattoos. You're goddamn right. Wait, no, I was asking you, Fidel, do you have like a tattoo gun or a pen or anything like that?
02:10:01
Speaker
on I got a tattoo pencil. ah No, but I used to do Tabori style shit with like the fucking skewer and shit. Oh yeah, like stick and poke.
02:10:13
Speaker
Somewhat, yeah. I'm a big fan of the old stick and poke. Yeah. That's the poke and dash. Never mind, totally different thing.
02:10:23
Speaker
I did stick and poke on my toes. oh god Save that for your feet finder account, Brittany. I know. There you go, giving away the feet for free again. I know. He's going to poke it.
02:10:35
Speaker
oh Oh, dang. I don't even know what to say. Dang, Shorty. has Dang, Shorty. Get it right, bitch. What'd you say, Glicks? I gave you credit, bitch.
02:10:48
Speaker
i Thank you. And you like her? Oh, my God.
02:10:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's my new bestie. That's your boo thing? Is that what you said? No, I said that's my new bestie, but my boo thing, I'll take that too. Your new bestie too?
02:11:12
Speaker
You love that black mouth. I don't. I heard black phallus. That has become your new wubby on Saturday nights. That microphone is like your little wubby on Saturday nights. Oh.
02:11:32
Speaker
i'm just well because of my lip ring don't like put it up to my mouth anymore what what i don't put it don't put it up to your mouth put it in your mouth what the fuck and yeah no wonder you're single like you're doing it wrong are you new here and new panel who dis
02:11:58
Speaker
i'm still learning guys okay It's okay. I'll teach you. But I'll have to charge. I thought you learned it church. but but See?
02:12:11
Speaker
More of my fucking jokes are bringing up. Listen, I can't help it, okay? I steal everybody's jokes. Oh, right from the bottom. What are you chasing that with?
02:12:22
Speaker
Gatorade. Nice. Which color Gatorade? Chasing it with red milk. Yes. It's the lemon lime. Yeah, the green one's a good one to chase with vodka, too. Yeah, those are the ones I usually like. Or the blue.
02:12:38
Speaker
Oh, blue's good with vodka. Blue ice or cold ice, whatever. The cherry glacier is another one. Oh, you don't like cherry glacier? I don't like fake cherry anything.
02:12:49
Speaker
What? No, I'm good. I like real cherries. I bet you do. Oh, my lanta. You lost your time ago.
02:13:01
Speaker
Slore! Oh. should Lazy Jedi said he'll be on when he gets home. When he get home, bitch! I thought he said he'd be on in a little bit. Where the fuck is he at today? What's he doing? Doing family time? Loser. yeah I wonder if we've got a family and shit. Who the fuck has that?
02:13:21
Speaker
Must be nice to have a family. Oh, God. Ain't nobody want no family. That's not all it's cracked up to be. when You want to share memories and shit? Get the fuck out of here. We're a family.
02:13:34
Speaker
We are family. What do you want? Help and support through the hard times? We don't need that. yeah right Or as Vin Diesel would say, family oh family. He's not making a family because he is.
02:13:53
Speaker
Do think so too? I really think he is. He is. That's why he was so mad that Brian liked his sister instead of him. ah where Are you just saying that?
02:14:05
Speaker
No, it came out. You can't make accusations. No, dude. It came out like years ago. Pull it up. We need to see. Pull it up. pull it out We need fact checking here. Is Vin Diesel gay? Hold on a second.
02:14:18
Speaker
ah at google No judgment. Vin Diesel gay. Vin Diesel. In this sense, he's gay. He's in a long-term relationship with model Paloma.
02:14:32
Speaker
No, ask it a different way. Does he take it in the ass? Okay, hold on a second. Does Vin take it up in Does Vin Diesel take it in the ass?
02:14:42
Speaker
Does he like his ass eating? The question you're asking uses colloquial expressions and delves into the private personal life of that. Information regarding an individual's sexual purpose. ah publicly do looks like a big yeah yeah And now I'm canceled on Google.
02:15:08
Speaker
like my google account has just been canceled
02:15:14
Speaker
yeah Give me extra story.
02:15:18
Speaker
Oh, man.
02:15:22
Speaker
All right. On Reddit, it says, I have a strong memory of Vin Diesel coming out of the closet and it being a deal. It was probably just a dream because you were heavily wishing.
02:15:35
Speaker
That was a Mandela effect. I was just about to say it was probably a Mandela effect. I know about Mandela effect. A Mandela effect. What? She does that and she just goes back down to looking at her phone. Nothing happened.
02:15:58
Speaker
I mean, you talk as much gibberish as chain.
02:16:02
Speaker
Yeah, okay. That wasn't funny. It was. you even laughed at it. so yeah That was a fake laugh. No, it wasn't. You caught yourself in the middle and said, hey, I don't want to laugh at this. and So you tried to pull it back. But it was already too late because you were in the middle of it.
02:16:18
Speaker
Yeah, you you can't you can't appreciate You do that to me all the time. i see something funny and you laugh and you go, no, fuck you, Glick, bitch. That is true. It's not even funny, bitch.
02:16:32
Speaker
Fuck you.
02:16:35
Speaker
Yeah. Where does that get you? You don't need read text messages properly. I thought you were starting at 8 o'clock tonight. Well, okay. You can just get on there and call me a bitch for no reason.
02:16:48
Speaker
No. Well, any chance I get, going to do it. Bitch. It's going to be a different situation, a different world. You're going in a trash can. You're going in a dumpster. I already have the people that are going to help me carry you. ju You better fucking have an army.
02:17:07
Speaker
Fucking Kayla going to help me too. They're army ants. actually their army ah If they're army ants, I'm fucked, Shaman. yeah They can lift a hundred times their own weight.
02:17:18
Speaker
Dude, he is a giant. hold hold three tay I'm not a giant.
02:17:30
Speaker
You're just tiny. Well, yeah, I did lose a lot of weight, too. But also, either way. Find out Glick's but... yeah He's a fucking giant. Oh, my God.
02:17:43
Speaker
Shut up, Shaman. That's why i wear heels. I mean, what? Dude, your fucking nice boots basically had heels. No, they don't. That's like... No, they're not.
02:17:56
Speaker
so Those aren't heels. They're supports. Oh, no. It's to help fix his posture. He's got a flat arch. I'll show you. I'll show you new Year's Eve. There's no heel on them. They look like it, but there's no heel on them.
02:18:12
Speaker
now If I wore my real fancy boots, there's a little bit of a heel on them. but it definitely like When he wears those, though, watch out because when he whips it, I mean, he whips it.
02:18:24
Speaker
When you whip, we whip. watch me real good tv Watch me whip. Watch me nae nae. Whip.
02:18:37
Speaker
Whip. Whip your head back and forth. yeah Because my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Did you know that Why are we using whips and who the fuck is nae nae?
02:18:51
Speaker
okay Well, because things and things and
02:18:58
Speaker
You'll learn once you ride that horsey. you have so much to learn about this world. You're eating. Come on. i want show well but I thought I included that like last week or some shit.
02:19:12
Speaker
a Come on, bitch. There we go. There's him and there's me at Michael's wedding. He's playing giant compared to me.
02:19:26
Speaker
What are you like... 43? he's like, 5'3"? Yes. like i Mountain of a son of a bitch. yeah a Mountain of a man. Hey, Brit. Yeah, I thought I had...
02:19:41
Speaker
I look terrible. You guys still haven't watched that movie, Orgasmo, yet, have you? love Orgasmo. I love it. And look at him. Shit.
02:19:51
Speaker
and like like the it's shit Look at him watching football. and that look y'all look so sweet. that' so That's nice.
02:20:02
Speaker
I was dressed up. Hey, look, that's me in the background. I didn't even know. Shit, that's great. That might be Shaman in the green shirt back there.
02:20:13
Speaker
I cropped out the other person. Look at us. Big bro. What's this?
02:20:24
Speaker
Yeah, I had to crop out the other face. I'm sure we'll get new pictures New Year's Eve. Oh, for sure. You and Kayla can get pictures together.
02:20:35
Speaker
Yes. I might even dye my hair colorful so I can... What what what color is her hair right now? You're a redhead. you, first of all. You're still stealing score!
02:20:50
Speaker
I might dye my hair, but I need to get a job first. That's a good idea. yeah I'm already with with me having gauges and piercings. And herpes on your lip.
02:21:06
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's hard. cause The struggle is real. It'd be hard out here on the streets. The streets. I don't know.
02:21:18
Speaker
these you came from Oh my god Ew So yeah Yeah I can tell you Gross Hey I'm just gonna do it We're not doing that Fuck you We're not doing that no more I'm not saying shit Yeah I need that yeah i need to tell you ah yeah we need to We need to have a behind the scenes conversation Not a bad conversation We're not doing that no more Yeah don't know I'm over it, honestly. Wash your hands. Wash your hands of the funk.
02:21:52
Speaker
Wash your shoulders off. Wipe it away. not soft But no, I am worried. Well, I'm not really worried about going up there. because i Don't worry about it. it'll be ah it'll be ah It'll be a different experience. It'll be ah it'll be a... well you know you you have a bad memory of it right now, but like New Year's Eve will be a whole new experience. It'll be a good memory. like It'll be all good things.
02:22:19
Speaker
And I know that the people that work there are going to remember me because I was in the fucking lobby for hours. Yeah, no. It'll it'll be good. It'll be good. don Yeah, I know. i will It will be.
02:22:31
Speaker
Let the past be in the past where it belongs. Peace. Peace. What does that say? The reason why rear view mirrors are smaller than than a windshield.
02:22:42
Speaker
Right. Yeah. That's where it belongs. My feelings aren't hurt. It's not good. I don't have feelings. we know future I my feeling feeling feelings. Feelings and emotion are for the weak.
02:23:00
Speaker
I almost said the wrong name. Kayla, how do you feel about that? About what? You having no feelings.
02:23:12
Speaker
He's the one that took him yeah what eing but You know that's a goddamn lie. Oh, man. He tried to kill me. I also said feelings and emotions are for the weak.
02:23:25
Speaker
Oh, Oh, I just started some shit. It's satire. It's satire. It's satirical.
02:23:37
Speaker
It's satirical.
02:23:40
Speaker
The only big name or... You know what? I'm not. The only big name that'll be at New Year's Eve is Glick.
02:23:50
Speaker
This is the biggest word that you know. set I'm sorry. I won't be there. have you You don't show your face anyway. you were there, Shaman, it would turn into the Glick and Shaman or the Shaman and Glick. I have no problem giving you first first dibs on the name. The Shaman and Glick. That's what it would turn into. The Shaman and Glick experience.
02:24:11
Speaker
but don't don't don do We had to had a little You know, drum after this? That's your family reunion theme song, Brittany. ah Reunion. Reunion. Experience. Like, you should have like a little drum and a vari two to to do to to to butno boom boom boom boom but like you should have like a little drum and
02:24:42
Speaker
ah What do they call it? Fuck. Whatever. So you go. I would it the most inappropriate times.
02:24:53
Speaker
Oh. Yeah. i go give You're going to give me toys while you guys are up on stage? Yes, please. I'm a child.
02:25:05
Speaker
Yes, I am a child. I'm a child. um Are you new here? Who are you? huh
02:25:17
Speaker
is this your first time?
Dark Humor and Life's Oddities
02:25:21
Speaker
I've been asked that a lot. And every time I say yes, and then they find out that it is no.
02:25:32
Speaker
It ain't been no since you were like 14. Wait, what? No, 16. I don't know. which hu You want hear the story of how I lost my virginity? So my dad.
02:25:45
Speaker
that is part of my fucking bit at New Year's Eve too. Fuck. No, not my dad. Not my dad. You're going to my joke that I made about you. you lose
02:25:59
Speaker
I literally have it written down. I'm not going to say it. Y'all have to wait. you're supposed to You're supposed to be coming up with ah with a little five-minute set to do on here before New Year's Eve. So we can so you're going to be like on America's Got Talent. We're going to have judges.
02:26:15
Speaker
And then we could we could buzz you. And then you're just going to shit on me. No, I am not going to shit on you just to shit on you. I know that's what you do to me. that ah no give him I will give you my honest, honest opinion.
02:26:33
Speaker
Boo! You suck! Get off stage, slore! You know what? Stay away from the crowd Year's Eve. You know what would be cool for New Year's Eve when whoever is announcing people announces you to the stage if I could get a slore chant going?
02:26:50
Speaker
Slore! Slore! Slore! Honestly, I wouldn't be mad at that. That'd be cool. I know you would. Do it. Fucking do it. Yeah.
02:27:02
Speaker
I won't be that drunk by the time you get on stage. Yes, you will. Okay. okay We're not... um it Wait, what time does it start?
02:27:17
Speaker
When are you done? I have about 5 to 10 minutes. Yeah, we probably won't get up there until about 8.45. Ah, well... She starts at 8.30. She'll be over by 8.31. Yeah.
02:27:30
Speaker
yeah No, well we should be up there. Really? Really, Sean? You don't have to wait for me. Show your face, you bitch. I think I have wait for Z, but we're I'm going to try to leave a half day so I can come home and we can head up.
02:27:45
Speaker
um Courtney, i think I think you were my housemate. Oh, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? and She's going to probably be coming up with me.
02:27:59
Speaker
What's she going to do with her 47 kids? yeah They'll be watched by somebody else. All their baby daddies are coming together to watch them on the same day. Are they coming together like a Power Rangers? Jerry has three kids. One lives with us. Let's just say it's going to be a traffic game in the neighborhood.
02:28:22
Speaker
Who got their baby daddies? is these oh I drive down the road and I just feel a pothole.
02:28:32
Speaker
I wonder which kid that was. Did you just make a joke about running someone with a kid over? Fuck yeah, I did. wow Are you jealous? Why wouldn't you make a joke about running over a kid? Why would you run over a kid?
02:28:47
Speaker
You think killing kids is funny? You think that's hilarious? Yeah. women Are they dog kids? My body, my choice. It's not women's right when they're playing in the street, Brittany.
02:29:00
Speaker
darwinism If they're playing in the street and they get ran over, that's Darwinism. It's not women's race. I'm telling them to shut the fuck up. Women's race will get ran the fuck over. Get back to the kitchen.
02:29:17
Speaker
oh yeah move we yeah i got i got a... i got Shaman, you'll appreciate this. I know how much you you love pamphlets. I already appreciate it.
02:29:29
Speaker
man i got I got a pamphlet today about the lady who created Mother's Day. It's from West Virginia, right? Jersey. And I was reading it, and she created Mother's Day to honor everything mothers do. And then this chick, like several years later, was pissed because it got commercialized, and she tried to rescind Mother's Day so that it wasn't a holiday.
02:29:51
Speaker
Yeah. oh I'm down for it. Welcome to fucking West Virginia. Jersey, where you been? Where's MoDog? Jersey, MoDog's here. Here's the the cool thing about America is like you don't have to celebrate things if you don't want to. right like On National Hot Dog Day, i'm I'm probably not eating a hot dog.
02:30:12
Speaker
You're not shoving a place in your throat? No. And if I wasn't, it was definitely going down sideways. I mean, isn't that the only way to do it? Yeah. What is wrong with you, Britton? You want to start a list?
02:30:28
Speaker
We can write a book. If you start a list, just make sure you check it twice. Okay, boston Santa, tis the season. is Santa's coming on Fidel's mustache.
02:30:42
Speaker
A little pre-com for Fidel. How do you think Santa gets his to curl? On the first day of Christmas, it's a happy day. Harry's pre-cum mustache glue.
02:31:00
Speaker
Mustache glue. It's called Sculpting Joe, asshole. called It's called Sculpting Joe, asshole. Whatever you want to call it, bro. Sculpting Joe for your asshole.
02:31:13
Speaker
You still have pre-cum in ass. Oh, your ass hairs? Sometimes. That's pre-sculpting Joe, buddy. How is it when you when you poop? Does it... Now a bunch of questions came up in my head that I wasn't even ready for. yeah
02:31:32
Speaker
How does that work and how does that work? It's like one of those crazy straws.
02:31:39
Speaker
Oh my god, now I'm just imagining a crazy st straw in a butthole. What the fuck? What? Well, that's a new sex kink right there. New kink unlocks crazy straw in my butthole.
02:31:54
Speaker
Dingleberries. She knows what's up. Bro, I've literally had to cut a dingleberry out of somebody's. Out of your butthole? Not mine. Somebody else's.
02:32:07
Speaker
Why? why Because they couldn't see it. why did ah Why did somebody have dingleberries that bad? That's called butthole crabs.
02:32:18
Speaker
Bro. Bro, I am from Maryland. know what? You're a hell of a goddamn friend if you're cutting dingleberries out of the back of somebody's... You really are the master of the back door, aren't you, Brittany? I am a sweet girl. yeah Yeah. I'll take one for the team. That's it. I'm getting more positive.
02:32:41
Speaker
I'm sorry, if a friend of mine was like, yo, I got these dingleberries and I need help cutting them out, I'm like, we ain't friends anymore. Who this, motherfucker? it was It was my first fiance. Shaman, what the fuck are you doing?
02:32:56
Speaker
but we But we could be Glick. why we don't need two shamans. one Oh my god. What the fuck? why do we hide Why is this happening?
02:33:07
Speaker
Why do we have shaman inception here? Sean. What the fuck? What was that? What are you doing, dude? He just wants all the attention. That's how he is.
02:33:18
Speaker
I know. So what's weird is like, I got my phone on the charger and then I was playing with the dog a little bit. And then, all of a sudden you guys stopped talking. so I was like, oh shit. You know, the phone must have fell asleep. So I come in to wake the phone up and then it was, wasn't on the stream anymore.
02:33:36
Speaker
And I had to rejoin. Oh Jesus. Okay. Well, thank you for explaining. You're welcome. Would you like to explain it again? It was Shawception.
02:33:52
Speaker
Conjectivitis. I did not wear rubber gloves when I did it. Oh, Brittany! had bend over and I had to... Whoa! he had to bend over and i had to
02:34:08
Speaker
whoa how much did you love this man i almost married him oh which fiance the first one the rich one no oh oh you didn't even cut dingleberry he was a broke bitch and you were cutting that you really did love that bug
02:34:34
Speaker
Yo, you gotta take one for the team. i didn't even get to finish asking that. She was like, stay i nah. Go to the barber. Jersey, I see a Jersey, I see you. Jersey said she would do the same for Sarge, not gonna lie.
02:34:57
Speaker
He wasn't able to fucking reach it. First and foremost, bro, clean your asshole up. yeah your breed Go get it shaved. subli that Something. But my man, had he does have a very clean butt jersey. i'm not goingnna die I'm not going to lie.
02:35:18
Speaker
He's not even any little like remnants of toilet paper anything from when he wiped his toilet paper. He's got remnants. Oh my gosh. Who's my comedian? He brings up about like ah like when a chick has like leftover remnants of toilet paper and they just like eat it.
02:35:40
Speaker
They're like, oh what the fuck? Hold on. Hold on a damn second. Sarge takes a shower every time he takes. Where the fuck is that man at? Oh, yeah. Wait, what? What, what? will Sarge takes a shower every single day. Oh my gosh.
02:35:56
Speaker
Glick doesn't even wash his hands. I wash my hands when I shit. I don't wash my hands when I piss. I don't even wipe. yeah Dingleberries.
02:36:08
Speaker
Brittany will come cut them out for you. yeah I have experience. I have experience, yeah. Where the hell is Sarge at? I have questions. yeah why I'm about to text him. Sarge! Modo, get your ass up in here. This is why you don't tell women your secrets. you know Get your dingleberry ass up in here.
02:36:29
Speaker
He's dingleberry free. He takes a shower. he wash Well, if he does have dingleberries, they're at least clean. like law That's his new nickname. It's not Sarge. It's dingleberry. That's called masturbation, Chris technician. that's I call it fucking myself.
02:36:49
Speaker
He said, I wash my private parts good when I shower. It's masturbation. Shake it three times. Jersey said, I'm going to the naughty corner now.
02:37:01
Speaker
Did George put you there? I've shared enough. I've shared enough. You're in trouble, Jersey. You're in trouble. Blink once if you're in trouble. Yeah, you have shared the right amount, Jersey. Please continue. Share with the rest of the class. Where's MoDog? I have questions. Say it. Say it.
02:37:24
Speaker
You get a gold star for the night, Jersey. Yes. Yeah, she's dope. she's a got in the naie corner What happens he has to take a shit on the plane? Does he take a shower afterwards?
02:37:36
Speaker
and You'd have to take a whore shower. A whore bath. You see him in the sink trying to fit his shit in there? Not much to fit in there. Accidentally shoves the faucet up his ass.
02:37:50
Speaker
wait for minute Turns it on. o Faucet wasn't the only thing that was turned on. That's right.
02:38:00
Speaker
What is my life?
02:38:08
Speaker
MoDog's going to come up here. He's going to show up in the chat fired up. ah You know what we should do? I need MoDog to come up here. He about fucking killed me this week. He sent me a video of this kid with Down syndrome. Him showering after he pooped?
02:38:24
Speaker
If you don't know MoDog, that's a boy right there. he He sent me a video of this kid playing the guitar, and across the screen it said, guitar-ed.
02:38:35
Speaker
yeah No dog is good people. so no i He's awesome. I love him. Jersey, don't get jealous. Lots of interesting things can happen in there, please. Not that you would know.
02:38:49
Speaker
Nice, Jersey. Yo, I thought my butthole was going to be sucked out when I was on the plane. what Go ahead and clip that where... saw my Dude, when I flushed it, I i literally... i don't think it was your butthole that you had to be worried about getting sucked out of that. It could have been your entire body.
02:39:13
Speaker
Probably, yeah. I saw my butthole! I do want to join the Mile High mile high Club. That would be dope. Is that where you're high and drive a mile down the road?
02:39:24
Speaker
Yes. I'm glad you understand. i understand. I'm learning from you stoners. Like the 800 mile club?
02:39:37
Speaker
It takes you that long? Jesus fuck. 800 mile high club? Dude, it's not even 800 miles. oh Shaman, you have completely blown Brittany's mind. Yeah.
02:39:51
Speaker
He wishes.
02:39:55
Speaker
don't know if you've just seen what you did on screen, but that was... Unless it was the Tourette's kicking in. Well, yeah, sometimes. um well ask as Fuck you, dude. Stop.
02:40:10
Speaker
I didn't even do anything. Like on command and shit. He's like, Tourette, fuck you. I told... i did i Yeah, I could just... It's like a switch.
02:40:25
Speaker
Now she's a T-Rex. a dead head and little arms and
02:40:35
Speaker
There's my little gremlin. Then we could really be sisters, Brittany. Okay. there' gonna be me Me, Jersey, and Kayla.
02:40:48
Speaker
We're going to be sister wives. Okay. the fuck? Are y'all marrying Modog? Yeah, damn straight. it's gonna be He's gonna be dead soon. Of course, guys. Jesus Christ, Brittany.
02:41:02
Speaker
He's old. He'll be dead soon. It's fine. Jesus. Did you see Jersey's comment? Not that one. Not that one.
02:41:16
Speaker
This one. Hey. ah If Tell my Kayla. I loves her. Kayla's the best. She said, I love you, Jersey. Way better than the other 10 chicks that you did before.
02:41:30
Speaker
Leave my MoDog alone, goddammit. Oh, yes! It's my dude. Was that an orgasm? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Robert. i was my okay i thought i could I thought I could deliver your you one Christmas wish, but apparently you and I are both brokenhearted and kicked to the curb for fucking... Oh, Jedi!
02:41:54
Speaker
What's up? Oh, look what the dope is broken. shit. Shaman's here? I didn't know Shaman was here. I wouldn't have came by. God damn it. Well, he still won't show his face, but whatever. He still won't show his face.
02:42:10
Speaker
What were you doing up into the wee hours of the morn with some slore on the phone? Does your wife approve? She does. She doesn't know. I'm telling. It does know. It does know.
02:42:27
Speaker
We were just talking about stupid shit. Last night got a little wild. Talking about shit. Yeah, I know. I love that. i love that she creates all the drama on your guys' show and then she just comes in here and she's mildly damnmit britney Damn It's Brittany, bitch, over here. No, I didn't start it. Fuck off. She's like, yeah, i wait, wait, it wasn't me. I retract my previous statements, goddammit.
02:43:00
Speaker
Don't worry. We can hold each other and cry. We can, we can, we can, we can. I will dry my tears with your beautiful beard. The hell you will.
02:43:15
Speaker
Y'all, there's a about to be i another fight right now. Oh, shit. This is Shaman Glick experience now, motherfuckers. Whoa. Whoa. Don't you taint that fucking... Oh, my God.
02:43:27
Speaker
ah Oh, my God. Innocent-ass beard there, okay? Yeah. All right. This is about to happen. You guys... Shaman, don't you taint this innocent beard. Get ready for this. Don't you rub your taint with his beard.
02:43:41
Speaker
Get ready for America. Oh, host shit. Coming to America. My flag's better than your flag. We were talking about coming. i have I have the Israel flag, so i'm I don't know. Sorry. Brittany, don't talk about it. Be about it, okay?
02:44:01
Speaker
Johnny Bong's nipple is right below you. You need to lick it. Lick it, Jedi. Lick it. I did twice for good luck. that i Bradley, how you doing, dude? Did you twirl your tongue to the left or the right when you kissed? Shaman.
02:44:20
Speaker
why we are None of your business, Shaman. Fuck around and find out. I'll ask Glick. Lick around and find out. Bro, that's a hashtag right there. Let's go.
02:44:35
Speaker
I know you didn't see it, Brittany, but the title of tonight's show is Welcome to the Glickening.
02:44:42
Speaker
I fucking hate okay Yeah, you totally fucked you over with that. It's like one of the most annoying things ever. Hey, Shaman, watch this. Tourette's.
02:44:57
Speaker
Fuck off. so but ah It worked. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. i Yes, ass, ass.
02:45:10
Speaker
I love you, Britt. I'm sorry. i love Do you know how much my body hurts after I have? I know. After you have ass?
02:45:21
Speaker
Yeah. It hurts to sit down, I bet. Yeah. Brittany, you know how much
Comedy Aspirations and Supportive Banter
02:45:27
Speaker
money we can make? There's a chick on TikTok that got stupid famous because she faked having Tourette's. Faked having Tourette's?
02:45:37
Speaker
We could be fucking stupid rich if we just made videos together. You're making a video together right now? It it it just starts off with like being like Tourette's and Brittany's like...
02:45:49
Speaker
Ass, ass. Oh, my God. Ass, ass, baby. It's funny, but it's not funny. I know. It's funny, but it's not funny.
02:46:01
Speaker
i know it's funny but it Yeah, but you could make funny money. We could make lots of money. I'm not funny, but my money laughs. he Damn, Chavis.
02:46:16
Speaker
it's it's you That's why I said I'm not going to mess with her at all when she does her actual stand-up set. I will not mess with her at all. Because i don't want I don't want to screw it up because I think she'll be funny. I think Brittany will probably be the funniest one of the entire night.
02:46:31
Speaker
Oh, wow. just Oh, fucking put the pressure on her now. God. She's a full-on fuck. She'll definitely be the most colorful.
02:46:44
Speaker
definitely the most question I love that like ah sometimes it is um like perfect timing like when you guys say shit and then it'll pop out.
02:46:56
Speaker
Like the ass-ass thing. I probably feel like my dick too at the perfect time and just pops out. Dude, nobody fucking cares. Oh, Shaman, you don't even have a face. You don't have a dick Yeah, thank you. I was just about to fucking see that.
02:47:09
Speaker
yeah Oh, that's great. I'm glad you guys wanted over that. Now you can go have hot cocoa by the campfire. Hashtag no face, no dick. Damn itley it, Bradley. Spot on, sir. Spot on. No face, no dick. I'm sorry. as Ass, ass. He said, I shall...
02:47:30
Speaker
i know he said i shall i shall Shout, re surely remaineth celibate, for there is only one ass for me. and that's You sound like a retarded Shakespeare. oh That is one that yeah honest the most romantic thing anybody has said to me. Romantic is... You guys are like a Hallmark movie waiting to happen.
02:47:58
Speaker
Who did? To do Britney or not to do Britney? That's the question.
02:48:05
Speaker
I'm still a virgin. I'm still a virgin. I'm still virgin. Streaming for the very first time. G-Spot, G-Spot. We're out. G-Spot.
02:48:17
Speaker
Oh, no. gotta show my arms. I gotta show my arms so you can see it. There you go.
02:48:24
Speaker
a I did not like that. That actually in response to his a rose that smells any other scent. Well, still sells sweet. she was basically Basically, Bradley. Roses really smell like ooh, ooh, ooh.
02:48:47
Speaker
It'll smell sweet. You stick it in your ass. Hey, Bradley, if you keep doing that, you can give... It's America's ass. or Captain America. Eat
02:49:03
Speaker
it. You're probably one of my best friends now. Like, share and subscribe, you sons of bitches. Damn right. Wow, that's hurtful, Brittany. I heard what you said. Do the damn things.
02:49:16
Speaker
maybe Do them things and whatnot. Jersey, you're the best. Oh, God. What is Scotto up to tonight? Oh, dude. What did we send you? What the fuck did we send you?
02:49:29
Speaker
Uh-oh. I see Bradley's up there tonight. Uh-oh. Is he, though? Prove it. Yeah. I'm trying to put you in my head.
02:49:43
Speaker
God, I love you, Scotto. You are such a beautiful creature. He is. Scotto's the fucking bomb. The one picture that he did of Michael and I. Dope.
02:49:54
Speaker
As fuck. Lord have mercy. Where is that? Do we have that up here? um no I saw the one picture he did of you, Brittany. It was pretty funny. You can add it.
02:50:05
Speaker
I woke up to the show.
02:50:11
Speaker
I hate it. He just crawled out from under a bridge on that one. Everybody says it looks like I'm shitting on the floor. you might be Calm down, Amber Heard.
02:50:24
Speaker
I'm getting you a cat box for Christmas. Oh!
02:50:29
Speaker
I identify as a cat. no So does Kayla. You totally look like you would sit on the floor and flick somebody off while doing it. Oh, no. I totally was about to one there's any student by it's good I'm not kidding. I'm not fucking kidding. Okay, we need to hear this story.
02:50:51
Speaker
My old boss from Vichelli's Pizza, he had Like a bunch of ah condos and whatever in Ocean City, Maryland. like that And we, he fired me, but he hired my aunt to help clean the condos and whatever. was just and why did you get yeah What'd you do?
02:51:15
Speaker
it's Make the pizza wrong? No. You shit on the pizza instead of the floor. if you should that Well, that's what you get for chili pizza. Chili's pizza? Well, they were they were closing down anyways. But we were cleaning his condo. I'm going to mute the fuck out of this motherfucker. Uh-oh. No, i don't do that.
02:51:39
Speaker
No, I was at one of the condos that they owned and my aunt was cleaning the kitchen. I was in the living room and I was like, I'm totally shitting on this floor. what And I started to pull my pants down and she's like, no, no, no, Brittany, don't, don't do that. Don't do that. Cause she legit thought that I was going to, because she knew you were going to sit on the floor. Cause that's your usual m MO.
02:52:02
Speaker
Yeah. So instead I put it in the vent. you Oh my god, what? That is so much worse.
02:52:14
Speaker
How? Wait, excuse me. How did you put your shit in the event? It was the dingleberries from X. Wait, what? This story gets more than amazing. What were putting the dingleberries for?
02:52:30
Speaker
I was talking about it earlier about how I... I always keep a bag handy because you need it. But no, yeah, no, she really thought I was going to shit on the floor. She was like having a panic Well, you were pulling down your pants and squatting. I mean, why would anybody think anything different?
02:52:47
Speaker
I didn't do it, unfortunately. know You put it in the vent, which is so much worse because it's just going to blast shit fucking smell the whole place. Everybody's got pink eye that walks into that establishment. It's Britney, bitch.
02:53:03
Speaker
It's shitney, bitch.
02:53:06
Speaker
Did you go to the bathroom and like yeah did you have saran wrap or gloves with you? yo Did you have gloves at least? brittany but you bare him that shit She just barehanded that shit and stuffed it in the vent.
02:53:20
Speaker
She barehanded that Mr. Hankey. Like an absolute psychopath. I know, bitch. That's what the stuff in the water is for.
02:53:34
Speaker
Hmm. My central air smells like shit. Yeah, my aunt got fired. good Because they tested the DNA in the shit stool. And you're like, oh, it matches up with your you and your aunt, so you're both fired.
02:53:50
Speaker
I'm going to test the DOA on it. It is what it is. It happens. It wasn't dingleberries, and I didn't actually put my shit in there, but I definitely...
02:54:02
Speaker
said it. You didn't put your shit in the vent. Are you sure? so I think you did. Allegedly. ah well
02:54:13
Speaker
and That's chemical warfare. You love OCMD? This pizza tastes like it needs more fiber in it. Brittany was trying to show her love glow? What the fuck does that mean?
02:54:27
Speaker
Does my poop glow? Why? If your poop glows, you really are in trouble. How
02:54:35
Speaker
how important is that? Oh my fucking god. lord. it so i really enjoy that hairline much better than mine.
02:54:48
Speaker
a dig it. What's that hanging in the background? does get That's a monkey hanging my background. we can't sleep dark That funky monkey.
02:54:59
Speaker
Yeah. and then And then there's a picture of Austin St. John. Does it got that in there? The red Power Ranger? The red Power... No way. Yeah, Austin St. John right there. Do you see that leaning right there? Full screen and full screen. I got to see this.
02:55:15
Speaker
See that right there? he's he's doing He's doing a pose like this. gay Austin St. John, the red Power Ranger. he's got that pose like he just put shit in there? Mm-hmm.
02:55:27
Speaker
I got that autographed. That's fucking badass. Okay, Bradley, you've become one of my favorite people already. Be careful. that That's legit. Be careful with Bradley. for example You know i don't want to be one of his favorites. I will treat Bradley very gently. He abuses his toys like that kid from the toy store, Sid. Yeah, that kid was fucking psychotic.
02:55:55
Speaker
The only reason he brought that picture up was so he could do the pose because he knows Scotto is lurking and he's hoping that Scotto makes a really cool AI picture of him. You fucking douchebag, Bradley. You son of a bitch. ah and Bradley's playing the long game.
02:56:12
Speaker
Bradley is playing the long game and I respect him. Scotto, take a look at that. Take a look at that. It's red Power Ranger. He's got earring. You know what that means? no one win who which ear I think it's the the the correct ear, if you know what i mean. The middle ear. The only middle ear.
02:56:33
Speaker
It's um good AI pictures from Scotto is this guy right here. Where are those Who the fuck is ah Bong? Yeah. Scott made you look so good, Glick. Yeah, like, honestly, that's not even what you look like. Yeah. He improved you.
02:56:53
Speaker
Yeah. this This is Glick 2.0. It's called Oh, that's when Scott stuck a finger around back.
02:57:02
Speaker
he that's one's got that's what's kind of stuck finger around back He does a great job. Oh, shit, that's great. No, dog. I like that. Surprise.
02:57:14
Speaker
Oh, I like that. Yes, I'm doing Yes, I'm doing it. This is great. This shit gave me great hairline. That's why like the pictures. Why are my nipples hard?
02:57:24
Speaker
I love. The fuck? I fucking love that. Oh, that is great. Oh, okay. got That's cool. That's what I woke up to this morning. Yeah, yeah.
02:57:36
Speaker
it makes not money like You woke up to Scotto giving you a kiss on the cheek and telling you good morning, beautiful. yeah It's not my usual picture I wake up to from Scotto at 6 o'clock in the morning. too But, you know, it's okay.
02:57:49
Speaker
it's Oh my gosh, is that what I'm going to look like when I'm older? Yes. Oh, that's what you look like now. You already look like that.
02:58:01
Speaker
There's old one. See? I'm Brittany. See? think you should make an appearance first, MoDog. You should be afraid to ask. You should be afraid to ask. I you to... Come up on panel, please, sir.
02:58:18
Speaker
And thank you. i have purple crowns. Get in here, Moe Dog. And Jersey. Both of y'all bitches should come in here. have purple crayons. yeah Purple crayons. That'll drag me. Crayons.
02:58:31
Speaker
Crayons. Not crowns. Crayons. not crowns crayons crowns. That picture looks like she's fucking squatting. They're crowns. so and that Fuck off. and Stop looking. Stop looking at me taking a dump. fuck Yeah, this was me shitting on the floor at the con.
02:58:55
Speaker
money Stop looking at me. Amber Heard ain't got shit on me, bitches.
02:59:03
Speaker
Amber Heard said what? Oh, um you I'm pushing out a truck. if I'm going to take a shit on your floor. Yeah. Fuck off. Stop looking at me. What it really means is I'm going to shit on your soul.
02:59:21
Speaker
yeah Well, the fact that my aunt really thought that I was literally going to shit on the floor, it was like, man, I really need to like yeah good to think about my life. She knows you really well.
02:59:35
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yep. This bitch will definitely do it. Everybody back up. Don't do it. Do it. Did you eat Taco Bell first? Oh. you it
02:59:47
Speaker
is you did you eat taco bell first oh right Or Mighty Taco. Authentic Mexican food, Taco Bell. It was Chipotle.
02:59:59
Speaker
Taco Bell does have this nice chicken taco. It's very good. Authentic Mexican food, Taco Bell. You got the Glick stamp of approval, Taco Bell. You need to sponsor this channel ASAP.
03:00:13
Speaker
because anyone got it Please sponsor us, Taco Bell, because i mean I love your authentic Mexican food. Anybody try the new the crispy chicken taco with the the fried you know fried chicken in it? It's really good. I've tried it. it Sounds like you went down on an old chick.
03:00:36
Speaker
No, she was young, bro. That crispy chicken taco. Crispy chicken taco. Come on. Bring your own noob to that party. No.
03:00:48
Speaker
ah You might want to spit on that thing. Spit on it. You got to spit on it. liked it. I liked it. It was good. i' like to grandmother i liked i liked it it was good Good for you, Bradley.
03:01:03
Speaker
America. Taco Bell. Crispy chicken taco. Fuck off. but <unk>t know what That's the next ad. That is their next ad. You you can't hit it. off. I love it, Bradley. Bradley, you're superstar. Nobody knows about it yet, but you're going to be.
03:01:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's not retarded, it's good. You were annoying at first, but... When you make it big, don't forget the little people, okay? We're all here supporting you. Yeah, don't forget my PFC, bro.
03:01:37
Speaker
Yeah, don't forget I'll do the same thing when I go to jail. you yeah yeah Yeah, don't forget us when you want bail money. and i When I went out to eat today, I was a little person...
03:01:50
Speaker
You're on my show, bitch. Get the fuck out of here. I forgot you were here. Look how bossy she gets on her fucking channel. Yeah. That's not what you said last night. Mm-hmm.
03:02:02
Speaker
Bitch. You need to glick her in place, Glick. ah know. I feel like I gotta give her the old what glick.
03:02:15
Speaker
Show me the trash can. Who did you kick out here? I out Chauvin for a second. whoa Whoa. I didn't even know he was gone. See, here's what's funny. here's what's funny is She thinks there won't be repercussions.
03:02:32
Speaker
that that yeah Are you going to shit on my floor? well i I used to play an instrument. I'm a repercussionist. Whoa.
03:02:44
Speaker
god you yeah a familyley I'm on board for that joke. was a permanent good oh Oh my lanta. Your hands looking luscious as fuck.
03:02:59
Speaker
Thank you. I appreciate pretty che ah but Johnny bongs. Did you just get back from an 80s group? yeah bro he just got the wearable. I mean, man.
03:03:11
Speaker
Johnny Fonks. john good thing is you He's the motherfucking road if you didn't know. We need to get him back in the background. Johnny, do you not use herbal essence?
03:03:23
Speaker
Usually fucking put back here and come back. Herbal essence. What essence? essence What essence?
03:03:37
Speaker
Strong enough for a man. Why was it funny when you said it? John is borrowing his herbal essence.
03:03:45
Speaker
Johnny Bombs, you look like a reject from the Lost Boys. I dig it. He's the found boys. What? He's the found boys. What'd Jimmy? Who's got a squeak toy?
03:03:56
Speaker
Go get a right now. go get a fucking la i'm sorry i'm very fucking gassing right now Would you leave people that are happy and love alone? Brittany, you jealous bitch. I know I am jealous, okay?
03:04:16
Speaker
written which yeah Quit letting your happiness invade the stream, damn it. I'm jealous, bitch. They talk about it. thing People have never met each other. They're going to meet each other in real life and go, ugh.
03:04:32
Speaker
They're going to meet each other and then going to go opposite rooms and then get online and talk to each other. They're going to meet each other and do that noise that Sideshow Bob makes when he steps on a rake. I don't know the reference, but it sounds like it's probably funny. Damn it, Bradley. I wish I knew that reference.
03:04:57
Speaker
What? What did he What he I know. Sideshow Bob, I kind of know, but I don't know. It's like um a muttery like of disappointment. Oh, so like my father. okay but Jesus. Things got real deep here.
03:05:16
Speaker
And not in a way that any females want.
03:05:23
Speaker
Gross. Why is there a speak toy? Because fucking shaman. Shaman. call Was that a bird?
03:05:34
Speaker
Cuckoo, cachoo. Who just said that? Who just said that? Who the fuck just said that? i I think it was God, man. go both you Hey, get of every squeak toy and put them on a boat.
03:05:54
Speaker
oh I don't fucking, I don't hear anything. I wasn't looking at his neck, man. Bradley, get your person under control. Bradley, choke your chicken.
03:06:06
Speaker
like Oh, yeah. Bradley, you have a perfect opportunity use your chicken. Yeah, like, why did you not? Oh, no. Every time we don't want you...
03:06:17
Speaker
Every time we don't you do it, you do it. And every time we want you to it, it's just not available. What the fuck, Bradley? Choke that shit, bro. Choke that shit, Bradley. You got to get your daylight savings time in. Come on, Bradley. Let me see your chicken, Bradley. Okay. Too much, Bradley. Too much. Dial it back. Dial it back.
03:06:35
Speaker
Scotto, if
03:06:42
Speaker
scottto if you're watching but Oh my god. Is that what it sounds like when you come, Shaman? ah ah ah ah a up system back Oh! Get control your pan. I'm just outrageous. Alright, enough of the chicken.
03:07:05
Speaker
And Shaman, shut the fuck up. The, uh... The, um...
03:07:10
Speaker
the yeah the um ah No more chickens for me. Shadow has shut the end. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I need to put my helmet on. Hold on.
03:07:24
Speaker
yeah and I'm not ready for this. You know you're not supposed to go anywhere without your helmet. I know, but I break rules, okay? Because I'm a rebel. He's a rebel. I'm a rebel without a cause.
03:07:37
Speaker
I'm a rebel, Don. Damn it, Tommy. you i damage toy come' up um I'm be... going to punch you in your gizzard if you keep it up. Yeah. I'm going to punch you in your rumber chicken.
03:07:50
Speaker
God damn it, Shaman. Get your Chihuahua Routweiler transgender dog under control. Yeah. They keep on running from me, okay? They them baddies and knock at the fuck off. Zeer keeps running from me.
03:08:06
Speaker
Come on. here no's getting no Give it to me. Damn it. She's tearing up this Scooby bus. and a coffee i'm not Everybody fucking cares except for you.
03:08:19
Speaker
Right? i I am everyone. over im bradley on right now Stop it. You are
03:08:33
Speaker
yeah I literally i can't listen to this. Get your dog somewhere else. We'll take
Pet Humor and Stand-Up Invitations
03:08:39
Speaker
him for a walk. her bit Fuck like you, dude.
03:08:47
Speaker
I don't need it for show. How dare you? How dare you? You're abusing your authority.
03:08:57
Speaker
Fuck is your problem. I don't come on here so that my dog can get disrespected and misgendered. like Yeah. Miss gender your dog. Your dog identifies as a cat, Shaman. We don't have any simple words.
03:09:14
Speaker
Oh, you ran on here earlier. What? I'm a female. I don't like it. What's going on?
03:09:25
Speaker
What's going on? I'm a feline. Those are my drums. Thank you very much. He's playing his bongo. That was my penis. That was my penis.
03:09:40
Speaker
Your penis.
03:09:44
Speaker
Dear penis. Stop reading this shit.
03:09:50
Speaker
I do like how Lazy Jedi's shirt continues out for the picture. Are you wearing a zero on your on your jersey? Because it really looks like It does. It looks like it.
03:10:02
Speaker
He always happens to be in that spot, too. Like, wherever. got my Bears beats Battlestar Galactica hoodie. ah bad because show Oh, Show it. Give me it. Give me it. No. Come here.
03:10:14
Speaker
Come here. Drop it. Drop it. and Bradley, you've clearly never worked in an office. It's not a zero. It's an eight for Lamar Jackson. It's not zero. It's a hero.
03:10:26
Speaker
Okay. I'm a zero. I'm the hero. Okay. Just saying. It makes you look like you're between her legs. sort of god Wait, what? That's where I like to be. I want to go on between her legs. damn Between Brittany's legs?
03:10:46
Speaker
Wait, what? no What are you talking about, brother? I don't even know understand the conduct. Background picture. Do you not look at the screen? It's literally Jedi. in her coochie right now.
03:10:57
Speaker
You're in her coochie. Oh, the zero. Oh, oh, oh. i'm Yo, stop playing around. Stop touching it. What are you doing? I had to zoom out. I had to zoom in. You're going to make your tongue come down. thought you shitting on Damn it, Bradley. You got me all fucking confused. You look kangaroo. She's like a kangaroo. She's got them in her pouch.
03:11:25
Speaker
that is That is what's running Cuba right now, and y'all better recognize. I like that. I can deal without the bills shit, but... Fucking excuse me?
03:11:37
Speaker
Johnny Bums, they're going to put you on the cover of romance novels. You're the new Fabio. Fabio, Fabio. Confidence is not bought off. I'm not going to sound highly conceited, but damn, I look good.
03:11:50
Speaker
yeah never met you you johnny bos so How much do you charge for mustache rides? well It depends on the case. He pays you $3. It depends on who wants one.
03:12:04
Speaker
Johnny Bones, are you part of the Bills Mafia? yeah i like how that old chick in the picture has arthritis on one of her middle fingers but not the other. give her arthritis.
03:12:18
Speaker
ah That's the one she fingers herself with. That's the one that goes her bum. He can see it creeping in. She's clearly right-handed. He's one of those fingers. smells Gotta to hit that spot.
03:12:32
Speaker
Gotta hit the G spot. trust fety Surely I can hit that spot with his finger. the Where's the gray cap, Jedi?
03:12:45
Speaker
Where's the creep feeling? That is Jedi. Come on on, Yankee. What up, Yankees for life?
03:12:56
Speaker
Yankees for life. Hey, Bradley, you want to buy a ticket to come see our stand-up on New Year's Eve? I do. who How much is it? $100. Oh, yeah.
03:13:10
Speaker
You can be here. Go for it, dude. yes Cash app, click, click, $13, $200. And you'll special No. Listen, if you want the VIP with the bottle special in the lounge area, then that's going to be a little do the bottle you too You don't even know this place.
03:13:29
Speaker
You want bottle service. The VIP is, I i believe, 50 bucks. and we're gonna So it's extra. It's extra, right? You know what I just said? So what I said was right. What the fuck? Oh my god, bro I almost made $200 off of this and you're like, it's $50. Then give me some of it, you bitch, because I'm the one who fucking brought it up. Well, not now. You fucking ruined it. dont know Holy shit. He's already holding off on the Patreon and all that other shit. Listen, you apparently you need a fucking manager, okay? yeah
03:14:04
Speaker
Do you think I could try to be a stand-up? do you guys want to hear one of my jokes? Go for it. Oh, let fuck. Does it include the chickens? I'm fucking scared. it does I don't want to hear it It does now. He added the chicken.
03:14:18
Speaker
You got pay extra for that, though. hey let's my Let's go. Here we go. a i pay six sure you
03:14:28
Speaker
Thank you, Scotto. Gotto made Bradley look really good, too. Yeah, why? And then he makes me look like that he major like okay That one looks good. you with one I love where you're shitting on this all blamed on Scotto when it's just like an AI that makes it look like the way it does. That one makes me regurgitate a little bit. He actually does work on it sometimes. That was you last night on the Lazy Shaman show.
03:15:00
Speaker
ah Oh, at least somebody was there quick, you dick. Huh? Ooh, yeah, where the fuck were you at, Glick? was able to drop a like on your stupid fucking stream. And then all you said in the comments... why wait I made an appearance on your stupid fucking stream. Yeah, we're here every Saturday. Glick's nowhere to be found. jedi Yeah, Glick.
03:15:23
Speaker
because He acts like he owes our channel child support. You can't find him. It's okay if you don't show up when Lazy's there as long as you show up when he's not. okay When he's not there, I got you.
03:15:38
Speaker
That's the only time he's ever been there. I've never seen him on our channel. All he said last night, Glick was just talking shit about me being on the fucking show. That's all he had to say. Nothing about you guys. Well, for what it's worth, if Lazy went to a different show, I would do nothing but talk shit about him being on that other show the whole time. That's so sweet. I go on lots of other shows, Shaman. Listen, listen. He wants, he used to want to go to like Harley dad stream or whatever after we get off. So he was like, Oh, I'm sorry.
03:16:13
Speaker
I'm sorry. Did you have another stream to fucking go to? and Oh, last night I got pissed the fuck off. I was about to punch my fucking computer. I'll be, I'll be honest with you guys, Jedi and Shaman, because I love you guys so much. And I think you guys are amazing. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to come up on your panels. We drew straws, and Brittany got the short straw. So I'm sorry that you guys get stuck with Brittany on Friday nights, but you know.
03:16:40
Speaker
They're not. It's all right. She put an application. she's She's in the vetting process, and she's... It's alright because I gotta do so many hours of community service a week anyway. Is this your make-a-wish? That was good. That was good. If you make wish, am I gonna die?
03:16:59
Speaker
Yes. Oh, fuck. Here we go oh we go. What? I'm taking care a fucking shit. I'm sorry I was touching your back door, Brittany. My bad.
03:17:14
Speaker
I'm not mad about it. What's up, you fucking slores? What's up?
03:17:22
Speaker
When we say backdoor, it's not a sexual indowendo on this panel. That's how people come into the panel. The backdoor. Much like Jenna loves when people come into his backdoor. Backdoor, back, shoulder blades. you know That's how he gets to know people. Kind of like a dog. with venis How you doing, Sarge?
03:17:42
Speaker
What's up, girl? How you been? What else, Slice? Shaman, Glick, Cheddar, Fidel. What's up? You've seen me without a hat on, man.
03:17:53
Speaker
What's up, Bradley? Say hi to me. Say hi to me. Cheers, fuckers. Me next. Me next. you Remember me? I'm Bradley. I'm a gay guy. um I remember you, man.
03:18:07
Speaker
there You're hard to forget, madly You're right up there with hemorrhoids, dude. I might have to introduce you like that from now on. and that's Cleaner than a whistle. a Jersey. we enemies bradley More memorable than hemorrhoids.
03:18:24
Speaker
There are no dingleberries. Modog, Modog, Modog, Modog. What? I'm afraid to even fucking ask, man. What was your question? I'm going to start with the easy stuff. Oh, he's going to bust Vaseline on it.
03:18:38
Speaker
apparently you have earned yourself three wives. Three wives? oh yeah yeah yeah Jersey, Kayla, or Kaylee as you like to call her, and Brittany.
03:18:53
Speaker
That could be two people, Kayla and Kaylee. so Oh, you guys got four. Three and a half. four Three and a half. only three and a half But it's okay. But it's okay because you're old and you're going to die soon.
03:19:05
Speaker
Not my world. I mean, there's there's that. you know I was like, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Why is Kayla getting thrown into this? And then Brittany said, don't worry. Brittany said, don't worry. Mo Dog's old and he's going to die soon.
03:19:18
Speaker
And then Jesse was like, yeah, it's true. He is old. How do I leave this fucking panel? Where's that button at? Oh, no. The X button. However, i as always, I had your back.
03:19:33
Speaker
you know Never leave a brother behind. i had your back. Well, I'm glad somebody did, man. i Glad somebody did. You had a butthole. What? What? And that brings me to my next question. I have questions.
03:19:48
Speaker
How did Brittany factor into this? I forget. How did Brittany end up? She just wanted to join the orgy. Yeah, basically. Everybody wants to be Melted crayons and lava lamps, man. It's a fucking party. money because i might That's all you need in life. go i stuff okay mo dog's got money
03:20:13
Speaker
What you got? What's that bank account look like? AARP. That's right. I got that AARP discount, man. You know what's funny is I've not even joined that shit yet. I got to. i was eligible for it like five fucking years ago.
03:20:27
Speaker
stop lying It was like 15 years Better late than never. You know, you remember, Brittany, 80 years ago when I was 20. and know Yes, I was talking shit about you. Yeah. how However, Moe Dahl. But now you've got three ladies, or well, four ladies. Three and a half.
03:20:48
Speaker
Three and a half. yep we add You know, the half puts in a lot of work, though. What is it? Yeah. like dig jet Well, Kayla and Kaylee, those are half and halves, man.
03:21:01
Speaker
Oh, thought you were go to say Jersey, Kayla, Kaylee, and then the half was Brittany. Oh, well, it could be. Could be. The second personality counts the half.
03:21:13
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I was going with. Shaman knows. Oh, not the third or the fourth? It's the second? Just the second. Oh, okay. The other ones are just cannon fodder. If you got a third personality, that's the one that counts as a quarter.
03:21:29
Speaker
but first I'm not good at math. Hashtag deal breaker. We know. times A quarter is.25. Like, a quarter. twenty five I am good at math. You gotta change the background because it looks like Brittany's giving birth to fucking mother. I see what she said. i see I see what that chick typed. Like, the the chick that was like talking shit about me in chat before. I see that. What?
03:21:53
Speaker
is that i didn I gotta leave that back. Hashtag Florida. That's the best background ever.
03:22:03
Speaker
Fuck around, you'll end up inside Brittany's pouch. That's the I sit on top of my toilet, too. I sit like one of the Filipino monkeys and shit, man. You're going to get yourself a... What is it? But I but i turn backwards, so I'm facing the tank. That way I got a shelf there and put, like, snacks and a drink and shit.
03:22:20
Speaker
If you fall asleep, he doesn't like his bum to touch the toilet. Yeah. the dumb back Oh, there we go. There we go. Stanley Seamer, coming up. Hmm.
03:22:31
Speaker
They're tough on dirt. way going down know No, Bernie, this can't happen. We can't have a steamer on a panel. Does anybody else put tea bags in their top tank for the toilet?
03:22:45
Speaker
Put what? Tea bags? Bradley puts them in his open mouth. drinks me my tea though That's what he's basically saying. my tea in the kitchen.
03:22:57
Speaker
It's a whole ass woman. smells like tea. Britney confessed tonight. we we We got a new Britney story tonight. Apparently. Oh, shit.
03:23:11
Speaker
Ex-fiances. She cut dingleberries from his butthole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're nasty. said, nope. and i was that one she said nope And I was like,
03:23:23
Speaker
Damn, you really love that, man. You're going spread his butt cheeks. and And she didn't wear gloves. I literally have a hand. She's raw dogs. Is that true? Raw gloves, just your hands. i just Is it because he ate too much cheese? you it is log rose did you Did you bite the end of the hair with your teeth and pull out and snip between it? Oh, Lord. Don't eat it. can't breathe. Come on, we want to get gross. I'll get gross. Come on.
03:23:52
Speaker
Come on. I used a wolf. You know, Moe Dog Wolf. That is, that is, that's, that's right up there, though. That's, that's pretty, that's pretty foul, Britt. Good on you. I mean.
03:24:05
Speaker
Shout out to Brittany. It was good on you. Right? Love is love. I had a guy, we came back. Dingleberries. We came back from being out in the field for three weeks one time, and the guy had a fucking tick between his ass cheek and didn't fucking know it.
03:24:18
Speaker
Right? But he just kept complaining about his fucking ass and shit. And soon as he got home, he was like, we were we were we were married, right? Not him and I. He's backtracking pretty good.
03:24:28
Speaker
we are so he's backtracking pretty good Yeah, like what? No, he got he got his wife. her He like bent over and got his wife to check it. This motherfucker had a tick the size of his fucking thumb, like right next to his fucking asshole. I'm like, how the fuck did you not it how did you not brush that off when you were wiping and shit? Exactly. Yes, or at least feel it. Like, what the fuck is this? I just thought it was a fucking hemorrhoid. I'm like, dude.
03:24:55
Speaker
so I'm surprised it didn't bust, man. My hemorrhoid has a first name. Oh, I'm sure it busted a couple times. I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. I saw a fucking tick.
03:25:08
Speaker
yeah So, MoDog, you said you guys were married, so you were the wife? I know. i I corrected that shit real fucking quick. oh no i don't come He's like, let's not go back. and I don't think you can correct that. It's hard it's hard to remember 80 years ago, man. You know?
03:25:25
Speaker
Hey, he corrected it real quick. He got a divorce. Okay. Exactly. Right. The conjugal never happened. So, you know, no babies were conceived.
03:25:37
Speaker
Actually, I fucked him and my sperm was full of tick babies. And that's what it was. takeck baby yeah That's what was on his ass. It was his friend. Kaylee was half. No, but Bradley definitely liked him. How do you know?
03:25:55
Speaker
Glick, get control your goddamn panel. How did that happen, Brittany? I just have to know, man. How how does somebody get dingleberries so bad they got to be cut out of their fucking ass? Were you dating a fucking wolf, man?
03:26:07
Speaker
What the fuck, man? Go soak in a fucking bath, you sick fuck. You know? You dirty boy. So what I take from that is your ex-fiance didn't know how to wipe his ass properly.
03:26:18
Speaker
yeah Yeah. And on top of that, he left it like that for more than one day. However, a few things ah things came from that conversation. First and foremost, Jersey said that she would cut your dingleberries away from your asshole. see She would never have to. i would I didn't even get to finish asking the question. and cal Asking the question? Hell no. Hold on. Next question.
03:26:45
Speaker
my next topic but okay ah Well, I'm glad I was the point of ah conversation tonight, I can't hear half what you're saying. Shaman's in a fucking wind tunnel. show at him it's cool oh is it Is it true? Can you confirm or deny that you shower after every shit?
03:27:11
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. Because apparently, according to Jersey... yeah Absolutely. Oh, yeah. You shower after every shit. can absolutely fucking... so no I respect shower having You aim it at your butthole. You kind of debate yourself. Do you Every time I took a shit, I would have to take a shower five times a day.
03:27:37
Speaker
don't see. Why do you shit so much? You need to ah fucking learn how to regulate your colon, dude. Because my colon is and my colon is is working properly and I shit normal. like No. It's not normal to shit five times a day. No, it's not at all. You might want to go see a specialist. Just saying. I am and you eat like I eat. It's perfectly normal.
03:27:58
Speaker
It's not normal.
03:28:02
Speaker
Five times a day is not normal. Now concerned for you. this This went from funny ha-ha to... Dude, bro, you need to go see a doctor, man. Yeah, bro. We know you eat, bro.
03:28:14
Speaker
We're the five-time, five-time I'm not even going to ask why fucking Jersey's on here talking about my toilet routines with motherfuckers. Hold on. That's really me for you braley intimate details. The fuck? The fuck?
03:28:33
Speaker
take pictures of the naughty hor and you take you stuck Jersey, get your ass down in that basement and don't come up until you fucking repented.
03:28:46
Speaker
Why why would anybody want to come up at this point? Wait, no, no, no. no i was I wasn't joking. I want to know how the fuck did that even come up, man?
03:28:59
Speaker
How did that come up? Because Brittany was talking about cutting bingle berries. Oh, okay. Makes sense. Makes sense. Makes sense. And then she said that you shower after every shit.
03:29:13
Speaker
and i did take a shower after every shit of it but when When my butthole c clenches, it looks like the moon fading in, fading out, fading in, fading out. It kind of looks like Jedi.
03:29:25
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jedi, go like this with your mouth. It's not a chocolate starfish. That's right. It's just a starfish. No chocolate. It's a Jedi starfish. I'm an albino asshole. Thank you very much.
03:29:42
Speaker
I'm kind of curious. Don't tell your wife. No. oh she slide She slides that in real quick. Dude, you got go. Your light just turned on behind Let me know what it looks like because I cannot see my own asshole so I have no idea what it looks like.
03:29:56
Speaker
I knew I had my asshole in the mirror today. we need We need to have a paranormal session in Brittany's fucking house there, man. yeah It's function centered. Hector, size the demons. The power of Christ compels you. It just went off.
03:30:11
Speaker
and The power of shit compels you. oh
03:30:17
Speaker
That's funny, babe. what Yeah, you will be in the basement, man. You got to keep them scissors clean case I ever need them for fucking dingleberry cutouts, man. You got to keep them sharp. There's something behind you.
03:30:29
Speaker
There's What is that? What is that? Why don't you full screen yourself so we can see what the fuck you're holding up? Yeah, yeah. Full screen it, Brittany. Come on. I remember my first day on a panel, too.
03:30:45
Speaker
the You miss 100% of the shots you don don't fucking take. Michael Scott. I love it. i Literally, half my wardrobe is fucking office quotes, so I get that.
03:31:02
Speaker
I love that. that's why name Do you mean office clothes or clothes from the series The Office? That's correct. You said it better. they latterd out i needed I needed the assist.
03:31:15
Speaker
Crayons build brain cells, man. i one One color at a time. Exactly. no Crowns. Crowns.
03:31:28
Speaker
Hey, hey, MoDog, you want to see a magic trick? Yes, please. hey bri's gonna make He's going to make his finger disappear in his butthole. I can do that.
03:31:40
Speaker
um
03:31:56
Speaker
it Sit and spin Motherfucker Sit and spin Been there done that the Philippines Hashtag spin psycho You can't You can't scream them though What's the magic trick Or was that the magic trick
03:32:15
Speaker
He had ten fingers and now he only has nine. His butthole has an extra finger. I just want to know if Glick's got any better playing the guitar, man.
03:32:28
Speaker
yeah it's It's going to sound like shit. but Guys, get ready for this. I'm not going to keep him in here that long. I've said that before, but just be ready. Chang.
03:32:43
Speaker
Chang. Welcome. Oh, shit. Who's Chang? ah Hello, today. You're about to find out. How you doing today, mother? Hello, Mr. Chang. but know get racist Hello, Hello, motherfucker.
03:32:59
Speaker
and there way many um but braley and Oh, my God. the yeah the duke Did you come my my voice? and you And then you wanted order today,
03:33:13
Speaker
That's it. oh That's my favorite thing to say in that accent. Motherfucker. Do it again, Just slower. Motherfucker.
03:33:24
Speaker
Motherfucker. Hey, fuck you, dude.
03:33:32
Speaker
yes ah yeah Johnny, where's your fucking hat, dude? Why you called her slow? It's not her face. I took it off because of the hair. i I get nervous not seeing you with a hat on. I think you're getting ready to plan the next invasion or some shit.
03:33:46
Speaker
um to your asshole yeah Sometimes. He's like, I'm taking the week off. Rico. He'll forget. Write that down. You don't have to put it back on me.
03:33:58
Speaker
you don't have to put it back on me did you Did your head get hot, man? Like like Pedro and... What's up, Shane? How you doing, Shane? It's usually all curled up like us fucking here. It gets pretty warm. yeah your daughter that's Napoleon dialing the mic. Did your hair get hot?
03:34:15
Speaker
it Shit. oh no Okay, there he is. Now I recognize him. Oh, what's up, Johnny? Hi, how are we? I thought Elvis made fucking appearance. Sometimes.
03:34:27
Speaker
It is. It's a fucking joke. You're fucking weird, bro. You can leave it off if your head was hot. i fucking i'm just I think that's the first time I've ever seen you without a hat on.
03:34:38
Speaker
Yeah, I know. yeah i don't I don't take it off much. Jersey and the creamsicle. It looks like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. before She makes her own creamsicles. Okay, Bradley. Oh, ask her about her. She wants to share shit about me. Ask me about my wiener. Yeah, that was not worth it. No, I was going tell you, ask her about her fucking selfie stick. You got a small sushi roll, motherfucker. You're that tiny. You need to get a magnifying glass. You're so tiny. Oh my god, what the fuck?
03:35:18
Speaker
Why did I do this? You're hung like a fly, motherfucker. Yeah, Brittany. Hung like an angry squirrel. Do it be funny or get out. how we and Yeah, go ahead, babe. You want to tell secrets? Tell about your selfie stick. Go ahead. Whoa. most basic bitch thing ever. I'm sorry, Jersey, but it is. Oh, no, no, no. this This is not your normal selfie stick. i'm just gonna just Let's just leave it there. um but um All I'm going to say is it she got it from the adult store. Is that what they're calling dildos now? Selfie sticks? Are they...
03:35:54
Speaker
This motherfucker's got a kickstand and everything on it, man. whoa is It's diesel powered. It's got a four stroke. that it yes It takes four strokes. and so It takes an oil um gasoline mixture.
03:36:14
Speaker
I mean, it's causing global warming and that's a good thing. Hey, Glick, how you how you doing? How you doing with the guitar lessons, man? I'm almost contarded. Glick, you just looked like you wandered in accidentally. You didn't know where you were at. i like so What's going on here? What happened?
03:36:35
Speaker
What's going on? What what show is this? brandy guy Hi, strange people on the interwebs. How's it going? It's ah and isn't just a disabled show for every disabled people. Oh, my God. changed back.
03:36:51
Speaker
and Only mentally. i kaie So, are you going to be my wife today? i didn't do it, Brittany. You did it. Okay, Shane. Shane keeps getting my order on, by the You're gonna be my today bri me you're going to be my wife today you and you know what che i don't even want to order from your strengths i heard that somebody shit on the floor
03:37:23
Speaker
I'm not going to be the one. But the thing is, why did you come to my restaurant and order the poo-poo platter, motherfucker? You ordered
03:37:39
Speaker
Yeah. strings on the feet of whole ja goes on I'm fucking defeated. I'm not. I mean, I know you need your green card, but come on, bro. I think Jedi's been going to the wrong site for ordering the fucking Asian wives and shit. No, no, I don't want to think. You can come to China. I'm working in my restaurant. And you can wash all the pots. You can wash the pots. I need a new wife. Oh, wait. This is a Chinese restaurant. I thought you guys just made iPhones.
03:38:07
Speaker
You guys served cream from Sun Yungai? Well, I got it in my ass. 12, 2, 4, and 6, man. right He needs a couple hours to recuperate in between.
03:38:20
Speaker
one you like and um Probably an energy drink. oh I mean, if you want if you want a decent portion, i would say.
03:38:30
Speaker
I was about to say, finally, something I can masturbate to since I haven't seen it screen yet. I can masturbate anything. can masturbate. You can't masturbate because you're disabled.
03:38:43
Speaker
Yeah, well, so what? Mentally. because you're disd that's no it's
03:38:50
Speaker
Also, what the fuck are you doing wearing my American flag, Bradley? That's disrespectful. Get that shit off. My dick where works good. you know the flag You know the flag's not supposed to be worn as articles of clothing, right?
03:39:03
Speaker
so you know that flag This is a representation of the flag. Exactly, and it's not supposed to be worn as an article of clothing. not no Get the fuck off, dude! i know what you're saying, and you don't know what you're talking about.
03:39:16
Speaker
I know exactly what I'm talking about. And I'm just fucking with you. agree with what Wynard says. I think Bradley wants to my peanut. I think that's true. You want to see Bradley? He does. He does. Or Johnny. I don't know who said It was Johnny Shaman. Fuck!
03:39:31
Speaker
and this is i think that's true not the flag does a representation thea bradley
03:39:38
Speaker
he does he does shaman yeah or johnny kind lose it was danish like a I'm just fucking with you Bradley. I know, I know. batteries But I've heard people say what you're saying. Do phrase who going yell at the people are he see this? could be yours. Just imagine the clothes aren't there.
03:40:02
Speaker
Everything light touches is your kingdom. We have a fifth now. That's the Lion King for anybody that doesn't like Disney. It's the low weekly price of $2,000. Cheers, guys. cheers goes Cheers!
03:40:18
Speaker
Whitney! I'm almost ready for another beer. Is it for shearing off dingleberries or does any scissors work?
03:40:29
Speaker
Sheep shear? You know, I'm just trying to save money on toilet paper. I don't want to wipe for a while so I just want to know what I need to be in for. You know what mean? The little kitty scissors that they give them in kindergarten? That ain't gonna work.
03:40:40
Speaker
Oh my god. i Literally, that's what I use. Oh my god. oh That way when she ran with him, she didn't fall and cut herself. Exactly. oh dog head it How many snips did it take to get like one strand of shit out the It's not fucking thirsty pop. Well, I guess it is very close to a thirsty pop.
03:41:01
Speaker
A long time ago. That's not chocolate. That's not chocolate. How many snips did it take to get to the center of the dingleberry pop? I was going to say.
03:41:11
Speaker
I had the taste test. damn it. Oh. Son ah yeah every Everybody just went soft.
03:41:23
Speaker
Way to go, Brittany. Hey, shaman Shaman was singing the cheer song when I was up there in Boston a few weeks back. I stopped by. You guys ever been to Boston?
03:41:33
Speaker
That was the only time I was there. only got spend like five hours walking around. But right next to Boston Commons, the park is where Cheers is. So went over to Cheers and like took some pictures and shit and went inside. It was Oh, that sounds good. our jedi win Everybody knows your name. but um and so I know this is something you're not familiar with.
03:42:00
Speaker
But i'm real time with the comments. and Yeah, Glick, you got to point comments out to Jedi. He does not look at the comments. this We all know this. Jersey has asked. Oh, my I dropped a comment and then oh oh oh the so next Saturday, Drew and I are doing our our Mad Honey stream.
03:42:17
Speaker
What is that? You guys are going to wrestle. Some gay shit they came up with. They're going to honey wrestle. Okay, I feel bad, Shaman. Shaman feels left out, but he has to be sober so he can end the stream with things. Well, he can't even show his face, let alone his body. So, Mad Honey is hallucinogenic honey.
03:42:36
Speaker
that Jedi, Jedi, Jedi. When are you guys doing this? We're doing it next Saturday. Next Saturday. The only thing that matters on Saturday is this show.
03:42:48
Speaker
Yeah, motherfuckers. Dude. Well, maybe I'll get all hopped up on Mad Honey and come and hang out. Double stream. Do you guys both have it?
03:42:59
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Me and Drew both have it. what is Like you physically have it in your homes? Yeah, I'm looking at the box. I've been wanting to try it for the minute I got it. Dude, you're going to be tripping balls so fucking bad, man.
03:43:12
Speaker
That's what I'm worried about. that's why you bet You better make sure your wife's home, man. i I know. I told her. was like, hey, if I fucking just die, you get a fucking recession. If y'all don't know what manhoney is, like, mmm. Yeah, so. Don't you tell them what it is, Chad. Anyway, go get a beer.
03:43:30
Speaker
What is mad at Here, I'll run this fucking panel since the fucking ones that own it aren't fucking losers. I don't know exactly what it is. I know it's honey harvested from these cliffs in a different fucking country that I don't know about. all From flowers that have hallucinogenic properties.
03:43:49
Speaker
So anyway, the um me and Drew are going to dual stream his channel, our channel, and we're going to eat it. What's the flower called? I have no fucking idea. I'd have to look into it it. I don't have it memorized, but I just know that it will fuck you up.
03:44:05
Speaker
And so that's what we're going to do. and And we're going to see what happens on stream. Is it Sylvia? No, it's... we're not What? just what an old honey bro man It's only film just honey.
03:44:17
Speaker
it's honey hit honey it's honey It's the bees in the trap. It's the bees in the trap. For like a little two-ounce jar cost me $60, okay? So this shit better be good. Shut your fucking dog up. Yo, that dog's gonna fucking shut you up.
03:44:43
Speaker
Bitch. you you know say living human body Anyway, so yeah, next Saturday, you are going well to here come and hang out where I'm to be tripping balls.
03:45:02
Speaker
Let's do it. um Shaman has to be there to end the stream if I start talking in tongues or something. Wait, I want to do something. and i thought they said Crayola toxins. My bad.
03:45:15
Speaker
I already told him I'm not going to fucking stop this dream, but whatever. I'll do some mushrooms with you. I got some it is Something tells me Johnny Bongs has probably done Mad Honey before.
03:45:29
Speaker
gonna do zoom I feel like he's the human embodiment of it. he does that mean it's it's that it actually john yeah It's actually Johnny's flower where the the honey comes from.
03:45:42
Speaker
honey so shadow flo lowererruman i I've never done any hallucinogenic. I've never done shrooms. I've never done acid. I've never done anything like that. So this is going to be a first time thing. This is going to be awesome, dude. i'm gonna hope I hope so. I really hope so. Bradley, are you going to be there? going hang out? That's Bradley, better come right and i' gonna be like yeah we don't have a dmt pin
03:46:13
Speaker
Shut the window. You need to be with Anybody else hear that, too? Yeah, Bradley's there. He might send you over the edge, man.
03:46:24
Speaker
yeah Yeah, he's going to try to do the whole stuff with me. Bradley, you might have to watch it on a re-stream, brother. And he's going to choke the dick in. It's all going to be smooth. That's what's going to happen. Anyway, I'm looking forward to it. i I hope it goes well, but if it doesn't, then... Yeah, for you, I hope it goes well, too, man.
03:46:42
Speaker
move oh do get that you know go well I hope you see like Oh is it your bedtime? Yeah it's my bedtime I think I'm more drunk than I've ever been ever Dude that first beer went down so quick I'm not eating anything since like 5 o'clock yesterday These are going down way too fucking easy do Mad Honey is produced That's a word.
03:47:14
Speaker
peace and In Nepal, it's a link. Words are hard. Reading is fun. very It's used both as traditional medicine and drug in the Himalayan range.
03:47:35
Speaker
It is created by the Himalayan giant honeybees. Himalayan. She is screaming. Shit. She ain't laying. She's screaming. like In humans and some other animals, gray accidents act on the central nervous system binding sodium ion channels and preventing them from closing. It's not true.
03:47:58
Speaker
Yeah, she just Googled this shit. Well, yeah, but it' i've I've seen the video of how they harvest it. They have to, like, fucking climb these cliffs, and they're fucking hacking out the money. Oh, wait. I'm done with the comments. You weren't doing it, so doing She's out there on the fucking AMA website, the American Medical Association.
03:48:17
Speaker
She's pulling up the real Anyway, I'm excited to try it. Actually, hold on. i'm meannna i'm meannna I have not even opened the box. I know what's in the box, but i what's in the box? in What's in the box? to open it You know what's in the box. It's Brittany, bitch. Brittany's box is in the box.
03:48:36
Speaker
Along with a side of dingleberries Freshly cut Exactly sticky day don to that britney Don't Don't That's one of your sister wives Not when you're talking about dingleberries That's one of your sister wives can see her doing that with her tongue And I just picture like 15 dingleberries Fucking flipping around and shit man all right i mean yeah what actually You know what Actually You know what yeah no higabu You raised all kinds of hell about a man taking a shower before sex and you cut dangleberries out of a man's asshole. You had sex with that man and he had dangleberries in his asshole. And you licked his butthole. You know you did. You licked his butthole. The shower thing was not a... I said wash your fucking hands before you try to stick it up into a chick. As long as his butthole is big as dirty as But as long as you got shitballs hanging from your ass hair, you're good. Yeah, like fucking wind shiner. Don't touch my hooter. as so fine But wash your fucking hands.
03:49:44
Speaker
I mean, a shower would be nice, too. But, like, also... shower's not gonna help the dingleberries. So many things here. he Whatever. i'm I'm not talking anymore. Mandy, do you don't want to know what you just walked into. Here, we'll fill you in real quick. Brittany cut fucking dingleberries out of her man's ass with little baby child scissors. She And Sarge showers after every shit. It's too much cheese. if youly I would rather have my situation than her X-Man situation. Oh my gosh. My shit won't come out. yeah it please
03:50:21
Speaker
mo dog this This is my mad honey. I want you yank my shit out. What? Does the carpet match the drapes? but just like um right does the carpet match the drape on On me or Jersey? Who are you talking about? I already know about both of Are you asking if I have gray pubic hair, motherfucker? prize on rice is right No, I don't, actually.
03:50:47
Speaker
If that's what you're asking. but Really? i do. How do you not? Mandy, get your ass up in here. I have one question for you. business Because I dye it fucking Crayola purple, motherfucker. Just for men. You should. out all like substain through here Well, I was talking about my pubic hair, Brittany, but yeah, this this would look good purple.
03:51:10
Speaker
This would look good Crayola purple. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll start to say something that would start some shit with Jersey and I ain't gonna go there. Smart man.
03:51:21
Speaker
Smart man. Not start shit with me. it would it would It would cue something in her that she would start typing shit in chat, and I don't feel like going there. wow because but I have beautiful... What's up, Mandy?
03:51:34
Speaker
I love Mandy. Why is Mandy not up on panel? We need Mandy. i need I need some Mandy in my life. Mandy, we have a feeling that you've cut out a dingle barrier, too, in your life, too. Get up here. yeah have You and Britt can compare techniques. my fucking God.
03:51:49
Speaker
She was sick, and that's why she's not been... like on here and and there oh okay but thought um I you were going to I'm just going to that from now on you'll know what I mean this does not mean you scissoring Jersey this means you cutting dingleberries out of your man's ass yes it is a true story it actually happened he was uncomfortable and I those you so so can I so can can i ask a serious question
03:52:22
Speaker
Do I suck really bad? How did it even get to that point? You're doing good, Bradley. you know was he like Was he like, hey, babe, I don't know how to wash my ass. Can you check to see if I got dingleberries? Yeah, that's... Well, yeah, basically, kind of. He was like, I'm uncomfortable. I can't see whatever. It's tangled up. And I cut it. And then he asked me to marry him after that.
03:52:42
Speaker
Oh, my God. I mean, to be on to be honest, somebody that would cut dingleberries out of my ass cheeks, I'd be like, yeah, you're the one. No, I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. He literally asked me to marry him in the same bathroom. I was in the same night. Really?
03:53:01
Speaker
Yeah, I need to hear from i need to hear from Kayla. I need to hear from Kayla. Kayla, are you going to cut the dingleberries out Because I know Glick's asshole looks just like his fucking chin. That motherfucker looks like... He's got a wolf pack between them fucking cheeks, man. Would you cut the shit out of it for a while? I was going to... Out of his asshole.
03:53:20
Speaker
Like, do your pubes have stripes too? do you dye those as well? Do you throw them over your shoulder like an army soldier? my kid Do your pubes hang low? God damn it, Jed. I just started to sing that. Do and ah do your pubes have stripes? Does Kayla go, yikes!
03:53:41
Speaker
Do your pubes have stripes? Do you need help to wipe? shit. my God. You guys are killing it. I know what I'm getting likeck for Christmas. Pack of dude wipes. and no My God.
03:53:57
Speaker
Dude, MoDog, I love you. MoDog, I have a jersey. Probably needs a power washer, but either way. I have a question. i guess Sorry, Brittany, I'm a meathead.
03:54:09
Speaker
I got grief for MoDog last weekend. I just have one question for you. I'm a meathead, baby, so why don't you Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Pizza 14 to 10 was the final. Yeah, I know. I know. yeah That's why I didn't come on here, man. like i couldn't I didn't want to face the music, man.
03:54:27
Speaker
may What happened? He's talking about sports Jedi. All Jedi I heard was balls. Balls? sport of that all yeah i love wall all jet i heard was Balls? Balls?
03:54:40
Speaker
be perfect so i balls yeah mas most balls my ball my balls my balls my bos
03:54:49
Speaker
Indiana is the biggest dogs. How weird is that to say that Indiana is the biggest dog in the Big Ten? Exactly. i How dirty does that make? that That kind of makes me feel dirty. I know.
03:55:03
Speaker
I need to take go take a shit and then get a shower. Just saying. I feel like I do need to shower after Indiana. The Indiana Hoosiers are the Big Ten champions in football.
03:55:14
Speaker
Who'd have thunk it? Who'd have thunk it? Anyways, enough sports ball. We'll talk about it tomorrow when I rub Rick's stupid face in it. Suck it, Rick, you bitch. Ooh. I'm going to talk so much.
03:55:32
Speaker
Why? Because I can. Not to you, baby.
03:55:36
Speaker
It's okay. They're still going to the CF. I think it's adorable the way talks to his blob doll. He's like, relax, baby, relax. He was amazing, Jedi.
03:55:48
Speaker
I'm extremely intoxicated. blow her and she blows me. Bradley, shouldn't you be singing karaoke somewhere, dude? I'm going to be singing karaoke somewhere. He looks like karaoke. I hope you all have a good night gets stuff.
03:56:07
Speaker
I hope you all get stuff for your stuff. Bye. Hey. i Bradley invented a new language and we all need to appreciate it. And then you know what you're saying because you take the... It's not a new language. Every little Moon Pie face kid out there talks like that.
03:56:33
Speaker
i can't i just can't i many people thank you talking yeah i need smokes like i'll be right back Yeah, me too. im here We all need a smoke after this. Smoke break.
03:56:46
Speaker
Union mandated. Okay, alright. Glick, are you down with putting on a song for a break? just go do whatever you need. Fidel and I will run this. Dude, you're on your phone. You're not even fucking talking. so Maybe you wanted a break. having a freaking panic attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
03:57:07
Speaker
Show him what it's like I'll do what you need to do i got this, it's my show Dude, I don't even Is it though? Is it though? Because everybody else is running it No, nobody else is running it That's the glorious thing about Saturday nights It's a community I forgot to mute If you heard that, that was me packing cigarettes Not beating my meat I was thinking dingleberries He's got clippers for it' so It's a dingleberry weed whacker It's a dingleberry whacker He's like, shit, she called me out. Now I got to... That's a fucking 12-volt, man.
03:57:43
Speaker
So, Brittany, I know you said he proposed to you, like, right after that, because, I mean, what what man wouldn't? You just cut the fucking shitballs out of my ass, Herr. I would, you know... It wasn't right after. tell me Tell me that you broke up with him within 24 hours, though. for sure. Okay, good.
03:58:00
Speaker
No, actually, actually he dumped her. have for another rock they hang beneath my cock definitely broke up with him for why would you that wow after you cut dingleberries from his bones really yeah i would have uh were they dingleberries or herpes scabs Oh.
03:58:32
Speaker
Are you got sure? I guess the world may never know. Is that how you got herpes don't pull down my fucking boxers right now because I'm wearing men's. No, you got lip herpes. I fucking dare you.
03:58:46
Speaker
What? i dare you. purple dog Oh, I didn't. God damn it. fucking dare you. But no, am wearing...
03:58:56
Speaker
but no i i am i am wearing
03:59:01
Speaker
Draws Men's underwear what you got some handsynes on You got some Kmart hands on Yeah dude Ew the herp Herp berries and rocks how you talk I got them drawls on Drawls I mean they're like They're like shorts like shaders There was some, I will call her some fine distinct like high level lady shopping in her fucking pajamas at the grocery store today. um or It was not Walmart either.
03:59:37
Speaker
Oh, goodwill. okay You expect that shit at Walmart. Yo, the Walmart where I live is, well guess all Walmarts are, but the one where I live is very entertaining. Yep.
03:59:53
Speaker
Most of them are. like the kroger The Kroger that I went to. I don't know if you guys know about Kroger or not. Kroger, yeah. The grocery store that I went to. They got a fucking robot that just roams the fucking floor and shit, man. i Yeah, dude.
04:00:06
Speaker
I was showing it to fucking Jersey on the video and shit. They were trying to fucking fight me. I was like, buck up, bitch. I asked like four people standing there. Y'all know what the robot's for? Nobody knew what the fuck it was.
04:00:17
Speaker
bit and and And Jersey being Jersey was like, ba-bam, I got Google, motherfucker. She like Googled that shit. This motherfucker had a name tag on it and everything. His name was Barney.
04:00:27
Speaker
What the fuck? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Kayla never wears her man's. But. We were at Cabela's.
04:00:40
Speaker
We were at Cabela's. Nobody cares. Shut up. Go ahead. I love Cabela's first and foremost. And i was looking at I was looking at hoodies and stuff like that. And she was like, yeah, you should totally get this.
04:00:52
Speaker
And that way it would be mine. And we've reached that point in our relationship. Actually, we reached that point the first time she came to my house and walked into my closet where now my clothes are her clothes.
04:01:03
Speaker
And it's fine. Jersey's got my my gray fucking Marine Corps hoodie. But God forbid I put her clothes on. Right? like But what you put their panties on one fucking time and all of a sudden it's a fucking issue.
04:01:16
Speaker
Luke doesn't need camo undies to make his jungle disappear, okay? You you wouldn't tell anybody, Jedi. I think I'm going hop out of here. People are disappointed on the OnlyFans page, okay? No, you're not, Brittany. No, you're not. wanted it because you You boys can be boys.
04:01:35
Speaker
No, you're the one who fucking told me to get up here. You yeah you yeah you can't leave. Yeah, Brittany, quit. no yeah Don't bring me out on us. Kayla was as excited as I was to just bring that bitch up from last night.
04:01:47
Speaker
Fuck around. first yeah We had a good time. Wait, what happened last night? I missed it. oh it was it was i'm not on I'm not on the YouTube streets anymore, so I miss everything.
04:01:58
Speaker
It got heated last night on my panel. like Like for real heated? Yeah, Brittany and... fucked around and found out. Britney saves all of her drama. We're not going to say names.
04:02:11
Speaker
There's no drama, no bullshit from Britney on Saturday nights, but Friday nights she unleashes hell on the Lazy Shaman show. Damn God damn it I didn't fucking start That fucking bitch did Anyways It got ugly Are we talking about people from other continents No Semo is cool Yes cool whatever But she started it I finished it
04:02:42
Speaker
or is i I will i I don't even know who Semo is That's a fuck up flick I don't know who most the people are um Look I'm just a journalist here Asking journalists You can't even read why are you Okay no no Jersey I know that it was a misunderstanding But she didn't have to fucking come at me like that If you wanna fucking come at me I'ma fucking come at you bitch Get it you No it was bad It was fucking bad Oh you guys like for real like got into it then And then she continued to talk shit about me After I left
04:03:16
Speaker
Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you, bitch. I've never been a part of anything like that on YouTube. It's not pleasant. I know it's your friend, Jedi, lazy Jedi, whatever. You're going to friends with her, whatever. I don't give a fuck. But, no. Robert Platinum said he'll come at you.
04:03:32
Speaker
Or on you. Or around. Damn it. No, Mandy. It's just a sick a sticky situation either way. Like, don't talk to me when you don't fucking know me. I called her a, I called who? A bitch?
04:03:53
Speaker
You called Miss Face a bitch goofing off and then she was like, don't talk to her like that kind of thing. Yeah, she... but it was it wasn't It wasn't supposed to be serious, and it got serious. She made it fucking serious. She had some dingleberries stuck up in her fucking asshole.
04:04:09
Speaker
You should probably cut them out. Get some scissors. Nah. The skizzers. Is she gonna ask me to marry her? Well, maybe she will. You don't know.
04:04:19
Speaker
Yeah, fine. Yeah.
04:04:24
Speaker
you' fifteencycl i I forget what what comedian it was, but they they were talking about the like, okay, so...
04:04:32
Speaker
It was like 75% of lesbian marriages ended in divorce. And 50% of straight. And gay dudes is like 25%.
04:04:44
Speaker
The only thing that's common between them is women. know yeah Gay dudes are the happiest fucking people on planet because they don't have to deal with women. I wasn't going to say Jeddah.
04:05:01
Speaker
Jersey. was that It was the funniest fucking thing and it's so spot on. we've been Why y'all crazy? Because of the nonsense. Everybody talks about this. Nonsensical network.
04:05:15
Speaker
and they are part of our family. We're not going to deal with this nonsense, but this is our nonsense. It's a nonsensical network, but we don't allow nonsense. mindy As Mandy says, apparently we're the nonsensical clan. but the sea With C, not a K. With a C. Oh, welcome back. that's That's also my half part. It starts with a or know I ah really think I am going to dip out on you, bro.
04:05:47
Speaker
Whatever, Brittany. Then fuck off you. Fuck off Brittany if you're going fail on the nons. Damn it, Brittany. Damn it, Brittany. He took a time out of his day from ruling Cuba to tell you, damn it, Brittany. Jesus. Calm down. Ooh. Yeah, is at right there. okay it's getting hot here It's getting hot in here.
04:06:13
Speaker
So take off all your clothes. Don't tell your wife. I can mask off. How did the rest go? the rest go? I can save it as my ringtone. Okay.
04:06:26
Speaker
to what another word it man I make it come to iowa will never make it again um already had I already have a needle. Scato, where you at? Scato already made a short film that he submitted to some festivals. He's getting awards already. He's got an indie film.
04:06:52
Speaker
he's got to be Exactly. This is why I cover up my face all the time now. Scato is like always in the fucking background. You gotta be careful around Scato.
04:07:04
Speaker
Huh. We love the nut. He always make you you men, he makes them look super hot. And then he makes me look like... No, me and you, Britt. Me and you. Here, fist bump me.
04:07:18
Speaker
he He makes them look good. He makes them look good as shit. And he goes crazy on us. You were just fisting Glick, by the way. Oh, I got i forgot. it's It's reversed. I mean, he liked it. Did you see his smile? i was gonna hurt I heard him going, uh, uh.
04:07:35
Speaker
Well, I guess the Scotto on Snapchat. I was like, bitch, you keep making me look like I'm like... Why is he fucking gay and he's in love with me? Brittany, he does the same thing to me and it's just Scotto being Scotto. He's funny as shit. How many has he made of you, Jedi?
04:07:55
Speaker
So many. I haven't even seen any of Jedi. oh He's done so many. all be He's really good. I think I've seen him. He showed like four on here the one night.
04:08:09
Speaker
Those are the only ones I've seen, though. Wait, I didn't even see... oh yeah, never mind. what was like what was Bradley doing with the banana? What was that all about? That's not a banana. That's his chicken.
04:08:20
Speaker
that says oh okay, I see it now. Yeah.
04:08:25
Speaker
yeah so much And then look at this. Look at he got those look look at those luscious locks, man. but Yeah, boy. Dude, we know who he's into and who he's not into. That's... but but That is dictator level material. just want to say that's that's when communism goes right, man.
04:08:47
Speaker
like yeah The only time ever is because of Johnny Bong. oh That's a good one. that's That's the only nice one he's made of me. That's it. That's the only good one. That's a good one.
04:08:59
Speaker
but yeah That's the face I make when Jersey cuts the dingleberries out of my ass here. Ha ha ha ha yeah
04:09:11
Speaker
who Slow you roll. Slow you roll. Getting too close. Snorty Cox reporting for duty. That wasn't a Barry. That was a fucking testicle.
04:09:22
Speaker
Oh, that makes me hurt. That hurts my heart. Like, I i got a stomachache when you said that. So did I, actually. Right? He's not here, but I'm going to put up one that Scotto put Michael.
04:09:36
Speaker
but i See, that's a good one, too. yeah that's you Yeah. That's good. That's normal. You know, he's not deep-throating a fucking beer bottle or anything. know Yeah. He doesn't drink his beer. He just chews on the bottle. That was the night I went to school. I learned that fucking night.
04:09:52
Speaker
a no Gotta be careful. You're gonna learn today. i am, Robert. michael and i Right here. and this one This one's Yacht Rock.
04:10:04
Speaker
but brit this This one's the the panel. Upload the picture of Michael and I. actually On the overlay, yeah. I got you. i got you Thank you.
04:10:16
Speaker
i'm working on it. Of who? You and Michael? Britt and Michael? Yeah, Scotto made a picture of Michael and I saying the best comedy duo ever. And we're sitting on the couch together chilling. And I have this, obviously. And then he's just smoking a cigarette.
04:10:39
Speaker
Hey, there's there's some shit to be said about Yacht Rock, man. Some Yacht Rock's not bad. <unk> talking about Talking to Robert in the yeah chat. was about the same lot
04:10:51
Speaker
Yacht Rock? He said it looks like my dog is listening thing to Yacht Rock. oo this is That's the only one Glick plays his guitar for me.
04:11:04
Speaker
ah Thank you very much. you just You should hear him when he plays his keytar. i right I only play the sweet sounds of mariachi. Jersey, you Google every fucking thing else that's said on here. Google Yacht Rock. yeah boy a little ah little Crosby, Steeles, and Nash. A little Yacht Rock. Yeah, man, that's my shit.
04:11:31
Speaker
got to leave somebody i know like i feel like i feel like the Macarena is on your playlist. like I love the Macarena. Damn got that one right. now I didn't mean to click on that.
04:11:45
Speaker
trying to delete stuff.
04:11:48
Speaker
I got my Scali cap on and a fucking hoodie. i look like a fat Frenchman. i yeah I had to make room. had What the hell are you talking about, MoDog? Your hat's fucking cool as shit. I actually was like, I need to get one of I need a new hat, and I need that one. I went i went crazy. I bought like fucking five of them. I got a green one, a brown one, couple gray ones. Fuck yeah, that's what can I do when I buy hats. I buy like different colors, and then I only like one. I don't typically find hats that, like, I think we were talking about that on here last week, and or two weeks ago, or whatever. I don't have a head for hats, man.
04:12:24
Speaker
But I put this one on, and I was like, I kind of like that. I don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks. I like it a lot. That's cool. Just a if im Just for a minute just to see how it feels.
04:12:37
Speaker
That's stocking. That's stocking. you know Modag's pulling into port, okay? That's it. I don't know how much longer. Scott is going to be so excited. Thank you, Brittany.
04:12:51
Speaker
great Yeah, there it is. god He looks like you're... Okay, this looks like your pimp. It kind of does. It kind of looks like that's in a trailer park somewhere and you're like about to spit out baby number six and you're pissed at him that he went and got you your fucking latest pack of Newports.
04:13:11
Speaker
He is kind of my pimp because he got me. Whoa. Vagina slimes. Vagina slimes. Oh, my Lantus. Shut the fuck up for a second. I don't know how he did it, but he's got a picture of me showing up on New Year's Eve.
04:13:29
Speaker
It's not even the vagina monologues. It's the vagina fucking speaking spell. That will never happen. Hey, that's the dress flannel, so it's all good, man. Yeah, that's that's me showing up on New Year's Eve.
04:13:44
Speaker
That's the Glick version of they thought you were somebody else. Fucking looking like a big time rush coverage. yeah I don't know if you guys knew this or not, but Sundays, Rick, my co-host, on Unnecessary Roughness, our sports show, Rick and I are actually very good friends with one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, one Mr. Bert Kreischer. And this is a picture of the three of us together.
04:14:08
Speaker
Thank you. He snuck in. I forgot about that one. I fucking forgot i about that. Johnny, this is the kind of shit that causes therapy sessions. sp You know what? Now I know why I'm still going there. I thought I was done a while ago.
04:14:27
Speaker
You guys know guys know that we that I was friends with friends. Like, share, subscribe. i mean I'll make it even worse for you, Johnny. Put that back up, Glick. Of you of you and Rick.
04:14:40
Speaker
oh The night Scott who made that, I said they need to bump belly buttons so their navel link gets stuck together and they need to take a credit card and slide it down between them to separate them.
04:14:52
Speaker
That was last Saturday. That was last Saturday. Oh, shit. And he just added Bert Kreischer in the fucking background because we were talking about We were like, man, looks like some shit Bert Kreischer would be in. Did you tag him on that, Glick?
04:15:05
Speaker
Not yet. do need to throw it there. Oh, dude, fucking do that, man. it's Just like we said last week. That'd be the shit he would see that and be like, fuck yeah, going to hang out with them motherfuckers. Hell yeah. knowling robert Robert said, dude on the left looks like the mountain from the Game of Thrones. He's not fucking wrong.
04:15:27
Speaker
Beards and baby bellies Bitch, you're supposed to be taking care of the fucking comments, but I was taking care of fucking pictures Get the picture of me and make a bee So what are down to, Britt? Three weeks?
04:15:41
Speaker
Three weeks, huh? Three weeks, just saying Yeah, dude Women tell me I look like a gerbil I mean Oh well hung gerbil A gerbil that came out of Richard Greer's Oh my god, do you remember that shit when it broke?
04:16:00
Speaker
Yeah, do. This is all have to go off of here so I can work on my fucking material. Look, I told you. Give us five minutes on a Saturday and and we will give you our honest to goodness critique. No shit.
04:16:16
Speaker
like Right now. Do it right now. Right now. Dude, give us two of your worst jokes, not even your good stuff. yeah I already told you about the dingo berries, okay? No, we're talking about... Oh, please add that.
04:16:34
Speaker
I'm going to try my damn just to make it up there. If I don't buy tickets beforehand, can I buy tickets at the door for like 78 cents more? I get to have two free people. have one person coming, so you can have the... I don't care what you're talking about right now. First and foremost, if you show you're getting in whether you buy a ticket or not because the real star of the night.
04:16:58
Speaker
And you can bring jerseys here. I told you what Michael told me like three weeks ago, right? Or a month ago. Then I heard what he said ticket prices were like two weeks later.
04:17:10
Speaker
yeah He was like, dude, I got you, man. Come up. I'll get you a ticket, man. Only 32 bucks. And then like three weeks later, i heard him going, yeah, tickets are only $32. I was like, you motherfucker.
04:17:21
Speaker
i don't know. Brittany fucking ruined it tonight. I was trying to get a get Bradley to pay $200 for a ticket, and she was like, no, they're $20, and if you buy the VIP, it's $50. I'm like, shut up, Brittany. Wait, $20? It's only $20? And Michael's trying to sell them to me for $32? What the fuck?
04:17:38
Speaker
I don't know how much they are. I don't care. I'm going in. I don't know. I also told you guys that I knew a photographer that would do it all, but, you know. That never fucking happened either. You didn't already fucking have one when I brought it up a month ago. Shut the fuck Brad. don't know. I didn't do it.
04:17:54
Speaker
Talk to Michael about that. Durka, Durka. Durka, Durka. I have a guy. I said, who's the camera and the computer and running the comments and everything like that when we go live? I have a guy.
04:18:10
Speaker
michael oh yeah Michael, where are you at? Hey, Brittany, ask Michael where he is. I already did. Bitch. Bitch. He is a newlywed with Sue. He's not a newlywed. It's been over four weeks. The honeymoon's over.
04:18:29
Speaker
um I have to hop off here. She's already cut the dingleberries. They broke the cord. It's good. the dingleberries are gone.
04:18:40
Speaker
Now it's time for sleep. i you know what Here's what's bad, Brittany. In all seriousness, I'm never going to be able to see your face again and not fucking think of that. who one that's You snipping them out.
04:18:54
Speaker
It's Dingo Brittany.
04:18:57
Speaker
It's Dingo Brittany.
04:19:01
Speaker
Yeah, it I can never run to see either. What up, G2K? I could have gone all night and not not thought of you in that situation.
04:19:12
Speaker
Yeah, well, I thought it was love. Yeah. That ain't love. Robert Blackman, are you feeling froggy enough to come up on the Wait, what?
04:19:24
Speaker
what What up, what up, what up? Just talk over everybody. It's cool. It's my show. I'll do whatever I want. fucking correct Shut up, Johnny Longs. Fucking damn it. Asshole. oh now you yeah he's lost he's lost a He's lost a shit ton of weight, man. Jelly Roll.
04:19:43
Speaker
I have inserted my dominance in all of you. It's been the very
04:19:51
Speaker
I've been serving my dingleberries. Dominance, dominance, dominance. Dominance. I have dominance. Pradell, how was that? How was that? I can't hear it because Brittany is fucking having an anger.
04:20:09
Speaker
I did it on purpose. How's the wild berry infused drink drink treating you? Oh, that's one of the reasons why I'm so fucking giggly with y'all. It's got me by the dingleberries. It's got you by the dingleberries?
04:20:25
Speaker
Oh, my God. Yeah, Jersey. Yeah, it's close to you without you even realizing it. Oh. I would, but I'm ugly. Shut up, Robert. We're all ugly. Lady's back. Let's go. let one i care about and i'm never The other one can go.
04:20:49
Speaker
I think he's going to be doing research for the next game I do with Wall-E. She said he could go grow a dingleberry.
04:20:58
Speaker
You're a handsome black queen. She's ready for them niggas. and as up I already shaved my butthole earlier today. Whoa! Did you bleach it too? Picks or didn't happen.
04:21:11
Speaker
so really Yo, Jersey, get a hold of your man. Just saying. You can't come on the interwebs and make a statement like that.
04:21:22
Speaker
It's true, Jersey. I need to calm down. I don't know. Last night like struck a fucking light in me. Struck a light in you? You mean it turned the switch?
04:21:41
Speaker
Anyways. well i do I do need to get out of here, though. Yeah, why don't you God damn it.
04:21:55
Speaker
Bye, Felicia. Thank you guys for coming. Brittany, instead of showing you a heart, I'm going to show you a butthole. Do it. do it No, that's not your butthole.
04:22:09
Speaker
Butthole. oh That's a gaping ass fucking butthole. That's gaping. That's gaping. Yo, you just got fucked.
04:22:22
Speaker
but You just got brittanney bitch it's got Brittany, Brittany No, that would mean it was clean. That's how you have to do all your jokes, Brittany. Brittany, at the roast, when you roast me, after every joke, you have to go, you just got Brittany, bitch.
04:22:40
Speaker
Why do you keep saying my fucking jokes, bro? My bad, bro. My apologies. God damn it. Her set's down to 38 seconds now, you fucker. oh are you fucking ass. It happened.
04:22:55
Speaker
I was just going to stand up there and go. Bitch. You're just going go quick spat and dice. Britney. Bitch.
04:23:06
Speaker
Oh, sorry.
04:23:09
Speaker
Please do. make sure Robert Platinum said you can't go, Britney. So there's that. yeah makes you so okay Actually, no. I won't throw a rock at you. I'll get up and kick Michael in the dick because it was his idea.
04:23:21
Speaker
That's fucked up. That's fucked up. Like, this was your idea, you son of a bitch. No dick kicks. No dick kicks. but i Michael is hosting the whole thing.
04:23:34
Speaker
And he has to do a set of his comedy act after Snotty. So, like, he's really just, he's doing the damn thing.
04:23:47
Speaker
I got it, Joy-Z. I'm going to bring my new vlogging camera up and video you fuckers and put it out on CNN or some shit. No, we you can't. Bullshit. If I do whatever the fuck I want. Bitch, then you're not invited in.
04:24:06
Speaker
This man served in the United States Marine Corps. Yeah, I appreciate it.
04:24:14
Speaker
Thank you for your service. I wouldn't do that to you. I know you're live streaming it or whatever. i know i know you already got I know you already got a fucking photographer and you didn't call me, so, you know, whatever. Whatever, Britt, whatever. bri whatever
04:24:31
Speaker
whoda fuck Who the fuck just fell down the well hole?
04:24:35
Speaker
Oh, yeah, excuse me, Chris, sorry. Oh, you just called him Chris. i i'm talking I'm talking to Chris Technician. Unlike you fuckers, I pay attention to your chat.
04:24:47
Speaker
What the fuck is going on, man? Who is... It's John. What's going on now? That's that fucking communism internet again, man. one cat Yeah, Johnny Von, if you have some... ah Your audio is going crazy, dude. You're robuttin' like crazy. I'm like crazy.
04:25:08
Speaker
I'm going to mute you for now. Sorry. I'm going to go watch another show. Everything's all fucked up. Hey, hang on. We went from 15 viewers 6. my god. reading the chat, babe. I'm working on it.
04:25:25
Speaker
Shut up. Are you
04:25:29
Speaker
the...
04:25:33
Speaker
are you the I'm definitely better than Jedi at the chat. Oh, yeah. I'll give you that. Are you there? Yeah. Jedi, stop. st up yeah Just get new gray hair. Jedi.
04:25:49
Speaker
you know for every lie you tell you get a new gray hair i I don't have gray. It's all white. so man and and and meet Me bro. Me too. I dropped a comment in the chat on Lacey and Shaman show and then listening to Jedi talk shit about me in a bad way, just in a joking way.
04:26:08
Speaker
and and i'm like And I'll have to text him and I'm like, motherfucker, I've been backstage for 45 minutes. right Wait, you've never been to our channel. I don't know even know what you're talking about. That's because he was backstage the whole fucking time.
04:26:20
Speaker
you know No, he wasn't even backstage. Streamer tells you when somebody's backstage nowadays. I was pulled out of my TikTok live to come get on the Lazy Shaman show and got left backstage. Only time you've ever come to our show is when it was just Shaman.
04:26:39
Speaker
Jedi, I gotta say, dude. I sat in your backstage one time. You you texted me and said, dude, where you at? Come up to the show. And I did. And i sat back I sat back there so long, I cleaned that shit and fucking redecorated, man. yeah what do Thank you. I appreciate that. That's why it looks so nice back there now.
04:26:56
Speaker
You guys are like, you're so bad with the comments, I will say. yeah had a star I will give Jedi Comet I will give him props though he had at least it admits it he don't try to play he don't try to play it off he's like yeah I'm terrible with comments yeah like an hour later and i get I get people on panel and it's like that's all I see i don't that's that's what sucks man you like drop a comedy gold comment in the chat and then Jedi sees it 45 fucking minutes later and reads it out and it has no context and people are like what
04:27:28
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, you're right. because It's in the moment and it's good in the moment and if you get to it, but even 10 minutes later, it's like, ah, fuck. Sorry. I suck. I'm sorry. Well, that's why like select Michael and I were like, who's doing the comments? Who's doing this? Who's doing that? Well, i i know. Honestly, it's usually i I'm not faulting. Hang on. but i'm like johnmin john do hang Hang on. john Johnny, just so you know, your audio is all jacked up, dude.
04:27:59
Speaker
You might need to drop and come back. yeah surprise It's probably stream yard. like oh my god you was saying out I'm hungry. Peace. I haven't eaten since yesterday, man. Come on. Get drunk with me on on an empty stomach. You're like, I'm hungry. Peace. I'm i'm like eight of you. She forgot how to do peace for a minute.
04:28:22
Speaker
Peace.
04:28:25
Speaker
Brittany, my right leg probably weighs as much as you. so You can hang with I haven't heard that one before. Are you body shaming Brittany?
04:28:35
Speaker
Not at all. I'm saying I've not eaten. She's not eaten. She should hang out and get drunk with me. how i'm drinker I'm drinking my dinner. It's toxic. gary apparently Apparently I am too. Don't talk about it. Be about it. Don't be in the show, Brittany. Just leave.
04:28:55
Speaker
And she gone. Finally, she's gone. So anyways. I need another fucking beer. So these are rolling down way too fucking quick. Oh, right. Well, that really good. Audio better. No, sweetie. i did not eat before I got on because I was getting so much shit from you about putting groceries away and taking too fucking long.
04:29:14
Speaker
Why were you going grocery shopping at 10 o'clock? and I think both of you are lying ass hoes. Lying ass hoes. Boats and and hoes. Another panel ended and it was like, oh, guess we'll go hang out with this asshole Glick on Nonsensical Nonsensical Nonsensical. started to say I got video to prove it, but it wasn't video. It was FaceTime. so I'm just kidding. I figured you guys were honestly... have you ever Let me ask you guys a serious question. This new Kroger this new kroger they opened up that I went to,
04:29:42
Speaker
And Jersey can attest to this, and I know she said it earlier in the chat. Like, when you go to the grocery store, whatever grocery store you go to, all the cheese is usually in one fucking section, right? in the day Yeah.
04:29:53
Speaker
This motherfucker has, like, cheese, like, four at least four different fucking places throughout the store. Is it a Kroger Marketplace? Yes. Yes. Kroger Marketplace has the goofiest fucking setup. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:30:09
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was like, I thought I looked at all the cheese over by the deli section, then I was like two hours over, and I was like, fuck, there's some more cheese here. Let's see. Because I was looking for a certain type of cheese that she told me to get. and then... and you've got that Yeah, i saw i saw I saw... And I'm not just talking about a packet of cheese. I'm talking about...
04:30:26
Speaker
like big selections of cheese at least in four different fucking places throughout the store four different sections of cheese yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and it and it didn't even like it wasn't even it like the shit didn't make sense where it was it was just like oh we got some empty shelf space let's throw some more cheese up here ah there's some batteries and lighter fluid and the cheese is in the middle yeah right look at oh look at this cheese in this set of pots and pans like what the fuck man so yeah yeah you can You can melt this cheese in these cans. I've never heard of Cooper Sharp cheese. That's what I was looking for, and they didn't fucking have it.
04:31:03
Speaker
I don't think it exists. She found it in some stores in Ohio. That's nonsensical cheese. I've been in Ohio my whole life. She's a goddamn liar. All right, let me ask you this. this was ah This was a conversation for earlier yesterday, or earlier, and I even threw the shit out on my Facebook thinking I was going to win, and it fucking backfired on me. It fucking backfired. so we not facebook Have you guys ever heard of fucking potato bread?
04:31:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck you, Glee. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Which team do I need? It's good. Get it. ah No, potato bread is good. It's actually going to... I've never heard of it. she said that She said it to me, and I was like, my initial fucking reaction without thinking about it was, what the fuck is potato bread?
04:31:47
Speaker
Okay, first and first and foremost, you guys know me. That's what Irish people eat. It has anything to do with potato. you know, I know about it. Yeah. I had never fucking heard it before.
04:31:59
Speaker
I'm a big potato fan in every form. So you guys have legit heard of it before then. Yeah. Oh yeah. Fuck yeah. I hadn't. I hadn't. We were at, give it i get it. like I did it. I got a loaf. yeah i met Yeah. ki's aunt today And, uh, which is cool. She's awesome.
04:32:18
Speaker
Uh, and, uh, We got lunch. We got Penn Station. I never had Penn Station subs, by the way. Shout out to Penn Station. Good fucking subs, man. Yeah. so I love a good sub. You know why? They don't clean their fucking grill, so you get all the fucking juices and shit on there, man.
04:32:34
Speaker
You know what? Don't fucking ever clean your goddamn grill. Exactly. They have somebody that will clip your dingleberries in the back. Exactly. I should have went there and got my food there instead of order it online.
04:32:45
Speaker
Yeah, i had Penn Station a couple weeks ago, man. I hadn't had it in like eight or nine months, man. I was like, forgot how good this shit is. and Talk about delicious things. I'm hungry. We got a prize, and her aunt was like, you want some fries? I was like, you want fries? I was like, yeah.
04:33:02
Speaker
And Kayla's like, this man, if it has anything to do with potatoes, it don't matter how they're cooked, he's going to eat them. and that's that's Did you get fries from there? They got they got good fries. You gotta to get fries. Come on now. yeah Why wouldn't you? Watch them pound the potato on the fucking shredder right there as they make your order and shit. I mean what?
04:33:25
Speaker
Pound the potato. heard milk potato potato now You heard me. You heard me, bitch. You're gonna pound your potato, bro. That's what he said. oh Pound the fuck out of a potato. Pound the potato. Okay, well, like I said, I lost when I put my post out on Facebook, too, because everybody, I told her, I was like, watch, everybody I know is going be like, what the fuck? is And everybody came back with like, yeah, that's the best shit ever. And it's great. I was like, fuck all the you motherfuckers, man. I know you love your juices, Moe Dogg. Or Sarge.
04:33:55
Speaker
Sarge Daddy. can't can't wait to dip that fucking potato bread in my juices. These are juicy, Sarge. Hey, do you guys like grilled cheese? I'll clue you into something. Do guys like grilled cheese sandwiches?
04:34:06
Speaker
Yes. All right. instead Who doesn't? So how do you normally make your grilled cheese? Just American cheese slices? like No, I like... I like... I'm feeling at the time. It's like Obie Jack or something that melts better. If you say if we say mayonnaise...
04:34:22
Speaker
Well, that's one of them. You put the mayonnaise on the outside of bread, make it like sourdough bread. Yeah. Instead of butter, you use mayonnaise sometimes. you've never if if you like dill, like dill pickles, right? like If you don't, there's the regular version. All right. Pick you up some Havarti dill.
04:34:39
Speaker
Havarti dill comes in a block. It's not pre-sliced. Just trust me. Pick you up some Havarti dill. havevati H-I-V-A-R-T-I. I know you got a notebook. H-I-V-A-R-T-I. H-I-V-A-R-T-I.
04:34:51
Speaker
H-I-V-A-R-T-I.
04:34:55
Speaker
it dash what there's's regular havarti and then there's havarti dill make make your next grill cheese sandwich with that shit and you'll never fucking use any other cheese and yeah next life it spell a out of h v a or must see v What the fuck? How drunk are you, man?
04:35:18
Speaker
It starts with HIV? It does. HIVARTI. HIVARTI. he var t h i v a r t i thought it was I thought it was... okay I'm retarded. I wrote HIV capital and the rest in lowercase. You are retarded.
04:35:35
Speaker
get up from the And ask for it just like that. Do you have HIV arty cheese? meatery You are cheese tarted, Jedi. You're cheese tarted. Yes, sir. We do have HIV arty cheese. It's back in the deli section.
04:35:51
Speaker
That's too funny. It's right next to the PIC Cools. She started.
04:35:59
Speaker
Yeah, I'm serious. If you've never tried it, try it. That'd be one of the best. Glick almost never has good jokes, and this one just knocked out of the park. And he got up and left. It was so good, he left. yeah It was like a it was like a a mic drop situation. Yeah, the HIV part got him.
04:36:17
Speaker
Kayla called him off. Kayla called him off stream. Get away from him. Get away from him. You don't want to get that HIV, Chief. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, i my next one I have to make, like Jersey was saying, like I got to use the Martin's potato bread.
04:36:33
Speaker
No, no. That's going to kick it up a level. Fucking awesome. i I had never heard of it before. I thought she was fucking with me for a minute. And I was like, what the fuck is potato bread is what I said. yeah,
04:36:49
Speaker
yeah that's what I was going to make tonight. But then, you know, this happened. And then this happened. Dude, I went to Kroger to pick up. and She was talking about making fucking the tuna tuna tuna sandwiches, right? And I was like, God damn, that sounds good. Maybe that's what I'm going to do. I've been crazy one for a long Then she started talking about like the shit she puts in it, and I was like, well, that sounds good too. I went to Kroger to get the potato bread.
04:37:17
Speaker
the fucking The cheese that they don't fucking have that apparently is best thing since virgin pussy or some shit. I don't know why it's not carried in my store. And then like fucking relish. to put Because she said she puts relish in her tuna fish sandwich.
04:37:33
Speaker
yeah i like I like to chop up baby dill pickles. ah like Relish would probably be decent too. but Then she was like, and then you got put a slice of tomato on and lettuce. I was like, God damn, that sounds good too. I've never had one like that.
04:37:45
Speaker
yeah So that's what I went to the store for. $132 fucking later walking out of that motherfucker. And didn't even get the fucking cheese she was talking about. just going to say, do you know many times I go to the grocery store some fucking thing? And then it's like, I buy everything but the thing I went there for.
04:38:01
Speaker
Fuck off, grocery stores. I will say, i got I got a dozen eggs for $1.49 now. That was pretty awesome. What? Yeah. Jesus Christ, that's cheap.
04:38:12
Speaker
A dozen eggs, man.
04:38:15
Speaker
well you miss you missed all her You missed all our good talk about all the ingredients and shit. I guess you'll have to do the replay to find out. Rick is putting on his Snuggie right now. He's putting on his Snuggie.
04:38:27
Speaker
But I am. i am i'm um' I'm like, in the this sounds sounds so weak saying that, but I'm low-key excited to make my next tuna tuna sandwich using the shit we were talking about. but I've never thought about putting tomato and lettuce on a fucking tuna sandwich.
04:38:45
Speaker
I like tomatoes, but I don't think that's the move. I think it'd be great on it. I'm like, she said that, and I was like, goddamn, that sounds good. It might be. I mean, I'm going to try I'm not going to knock it until I try it.
04:38:56
Speaker
I was down for everything she said except onions. I was like, no, not putting onions in it. and No, fuck that. you know I don't like onions unless they're cooked or sauteed. don't like raw onions. I'm just not a raw onion person. i'm not an onions Some people are and I'm not judging anybody else, but I'm just not that.
04:39:15
Speaker
Tuna sandwich. You know you take you take your tuna you tuna, mayonnaise, pickles, you mix it all up and then you make a sandwich. and You're saying yep yep saying and lettuce, tomato is a game changer.
04:39:26
Speaker
Well, Jersey's saying that. I've not had it yet. But it sounds good. It sounds good. jersey It does sound good, but... wrong You're not wrong, but allow me. Allow me to see your lettuce and tomato.
04:39:39
Speaker
Whoa. imagine and You don't ever ask a lady to see her lettuce and tomatoes unless you're going to curl on that finger. She'll willingly show you. Jersey's no lady. She'll gladly show the lettuce. She'll show off her tomato.
04:39:54
Speaker
no but ah No, let me. Her tomatoes bring all the boys. But think about it. Think about it. a tu A tuna sandwich like that, if you like tomato, if you like lettuce. To me, when she said that, I was like, God damn, that sounds delicious, actually. I've never had it. like I must have a boring family. I think every fucking like tuna tunena like tuna fish sandwich I've had has just been tuna, mayonnaise, salt, and pepper.
04:40:19
Speaker
so so So here's your lettuce, tomato. got it You got to have pickles in there. I agree with her. Pickles, though pick but you should already have pickles in your tuna mix. Yes. Well, that's where the relish comes in. Yeah, relish.
04:40:32
Speaker
But on top of the lettuce and tomatoes, on top of the lettuce and tomatoes, green peppers, cucumbers, Oh, my God, dude. You're, like, making some gourmet shit now. I thought the tomato and lettuce was gourmet. Fuck. I was going to say, like, right? No, I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet. Holy fuck. God damn it. I got go back to the fucking grocery store. I'm not done yet. Green peppers, cucumbers.
04:40:59
Speaker
Now, I'm a big fan of Swiss provolone and or Colby Jack cheese. Oh, no. I'm already putting Havarti on it. Whatever cheese you like. The HIV cheese.
04:41:10
Speaker
Whatever cheese difference you got. And then and then just not not too heavy. Just a light, a light splat of honey mustard.
04:41:21
Speaker
Oh, see, yeah that sounds good, too. God damn, y all y'all are taking my fucking grilled cheese to a fucking next level game, man. I mean, like. Who the fuck?
04:41:32
Speaker
huda bo her Jersey said, that's some Subway shit. Just listen to your woman. That's some Subway shit. That's some Subway shit. That does sound fucking good, though, man. It does sound good, but it's like a lot of extra work. Cucumbers make me fart, though.
04:41:47
Speaker
I am a sandwich. How do cucumbers make you fart? Dude, if we're ever out to dinner and shit, and like my kids will be like, if we're ordering anything that has cucumbers on it, my daughter Because we're out in public. Dude, it hits me like a light switch, man. like I could like literally take a bite that's got cucumber in it water and within five minutes, man, I'm like... you know You know how when you got a fart and you can't hold it in? That that kind of shit.
04:42:17
Speaker
That's what cucumbers do to me. that They'll be like, so if I get a salad throughout the dinner and if it comes with a salad before the meal, my daughter will be like, Dad, no cucumbers. I'll be like, fuck you, man.
04:42:29
Speaker
yeah yeah That is so fucking funny. I've never heard of that. It's immediate. It's fucking immediate. Cucumbers apparently goes from my fucking throat to my fucking my my rectum immediately. now Your fucking colon. I need another beer. I'll be right back. yeah nothing
04:42:50
Speaker
I hope his beer doesn't have cucumbers in it. That's... Jersey, i am i am I am a sandwich artiste.
04:43:02
Speaker
You are. I take my sandwiches very seriously. Subway you don't have shit on me.
04:43:10
Speaker
Covers are amazing. Subway don't got shit on Glick. Did you just have a stroke, Jedi? Alright, Glick, I'm probably going to forget this shit, man. So you got my cell because I texted you some shit, right?
04:43:26
Speaker
send send Send me your additional shit for the tuna salad sandwich. Because I'll fucking forget. Send them the full goddamn recipe. and Here's what I'll do. I'll make the sandwich before I put that on and I'll take a picture and send that to Jersey. Then I'll put the extra shit on that you said.
04:43:45
Speaker
So she can't see it. hello so she can' Jersey's 100% right. The lettuce and tomato by itself on the tuna sandwich is amazing.
04:43:55
Speaker
I got yeah i like the additional shit you said, man. That all sounds good. And if I'm here by myself, I'm going to put a lot of fucking cucumbers on that motherfucker.
04:44:05
Speaker
I love cucumbers. He's going to be tooting around the house and shit. two two you fucking one You're the Marine Corps marching band. all by Exactly, right?
04:44:17
Speaker
but I'd be farting and sucking on a fucking crayon That'd be my dessert A goddamn little engine that could You know what Sarge Take you a knife Put your fucking purple crayon in half Put that on top That'd be the topping morber Hey Do you leave the little paper on the crayons Absolutely it's like yeah fuck it It's like eating a baked potato You don't take the skin off right You gotta leave the paper on me the fuck that's some sacrilegious shit you're talking about i didn't even think about that course you leave that paper on that was my first question a little extra fiber too it was that was the first that it was the first thing glick asked me when we started crayons months ago He's like, paper or no paper? I'm like, of course, with a fucking paper.
04:45:03
Speaker
I love how all those smooth brains ask the same question. Right. together and it was like paper was That was our indoctrination. that's what that's that's That's been a minute, man. That was like, what? That was like seven or eight months ago, man. that's been ah It's been a hot-ass minute ago. Oh, that's so funny. for no paper Because that was my thought. It's like a baked potato, like you said. Great.
04:45:25
Speaker
You know, the best for baked potato the skin. That's where all the vitamins are, man. it yeah Facts. That's facts, you actually. You like that vitamin D? That's right. I was waiting. As soon as I said it, man.
04:45:42
Speaker
You can be his topping, but not my topping dish. Oh, ill give you I'll give you that sour cream. yeah And sandwich ruined. Thanks, Jedi. Oh, no, no. Let's talk about sour cream. Ask... Oh, she's not on the fucking panel, of course.
04:45:59
Speaker
She showed me a plate of food. ah Like, she didn't eat, like, a meal meal the other day because she had, a like, long, hard fucking days, so she just threw some shit together real quick, right? It had, like, a paper... Like, you know the size of paper plates, right?
04:46:09
Speaker
Like, a party-sized paper plate. It had, like... Fuck. don't even... Like, if the if the screen is the plate, right? Like, this section up here was, like, relish, and then cheese...
04:46:23
Speaker
And this the whole fucking side of this plate was fucking sour cream. I was like, um got a little bit of sa cream there, babe. Just the plate full of toppings?
04:46:35
Speaker
She was eating it with like scoops. I guess she was mixing them together. Kayla does the same thing. She puts sour cream on everything. However, it's super good. I like that. I said, baby, I need you for a second.
04:46:49
Speaker
and and and jersey said i'm the topping dish and i was like you'll be his stopping but i'm gonna have and then i got a comment that said that's okay well i passed on her toppings and she said always because you're her side doing body toppings it's not whipped cream it's sour cream well the apparently mean click she said i'm just getting all kinds of past around yeah i I mean, I guess it's good. Hey, girl. Hey.
04:47:21
Speaker
Hey, girl. hi who Hey. Kayla, how you doing tonight? Are you you're not high as fuck? Can we, like, trust the shit you're saying? What does that mean? I'm not going eat potato chips and dip out the kitchen. I had to. sir Jersey, send that to Glick.
04:47:40
Speaker
Send that to Glick. Oh, God. Okay, so I was wrong. it's It's a quarter of the plate salsa, a quarter of the plate guacamole, and then half of the plate is fucking sour cream with fucking shredded cheese on top of it.
Culinary Discussions and City Life
04:47:55
Speaker
so don't don't It's literally all toppings. There's no entree. You have to take the salsa and mix it with sour cream. Yeah, that's really good. Sour cream. yeah ah Everything she's got on the plate works. I like it. You got to put it on something together. Well, that's where the scoop comes in, man.
04:48:14
Speaker
I don't do guacamole. Guacamole is an acquired taste for me. It was an a acquired taste for me. I can't eat guacamole by itself, but I love that shit on my Chipotle and shit. Yeah, I mean, if I go to a Mexican restaurant and I order a taco and or or and or or a burrito or a fajita or something,
04:48:33
Speaker
and it and it has guacamole on it, I'm not going to freak out, but I'm not going to just like willy-nilly just walk in. Specifically order it. Yeah. It's going to be like, salsa, guacamole, sour cream. I'm going to eat it. no because yeah Hang on. She wants me to show it. Hang on a second. one Show it. You are making me hungry, motherfuckers.
04:48:58
Speaker
Show it, MoDog. Stand up and show it. Show it. Show it your giant purple crayon. Show your Glock hole. How do you know it's only as big as a crayon, Glick? Fuck. it Show us your dingleberries, MoDog. The fuck?
04:49:14
Speaker
Well, you showed me, duh. I know, I forgot. You're like, is this acceptable for the gay club? I'm like, yeah, definitely. Right? Yeah, definitely.
04:49:25
Speaker
that's That's the real reason I bought these hats.
04:49:31
Speaker
You look like you're part of a book club. i I swear God. When the opportunity arises, I promise you I'm taking you up on that and I'm going to take you to a gay bar and you cannot puss out. You've got to go. It'd be a fucking blast, dude. I'll go.
04:49:52
Speaker
Gay bars are amazing. I'll absolutely fucking go. well Alright. It's in the background. g clickck It's in the background. Just putting it out there.
04:50:03
Speaker
Add this to the stage. What is she eating? Marshmallows with cheese on it? No, that's sour cream, motherfucker. Is it just sour cream and cheese? And salsa and guacamole. Alright, you just gotta put that in a fucking blender. Oh, but she's got chips, too. Okay, that makes a lot more sense. That's what the scoops are. Yeah, yeah okay.
04:50:25
Speaker
It's So she was dipping it in this, dipping it in that, dipping it in the sour cream and the cheese, and then eating it. I'm hungry than I was before. Why'd you have to show that, MoDog? Damn it. Son of a bitch. I'm not bad at it. That actually looks legit. I'm so hungry. I wouldn't have had it separated. I wouldn't have mixed it all up See, that's the way I am. I'm not one of those people where all my shit, like, my food can't be touching. No, fuck that. i yeah I mix it all together, man. mix that shit. Let's go. We're getting all them flavors together. Everything I eat, all my food is mixed together.
04:50:57
Speaker
Exactly. It's all going mixed together in your stomach, so what the fuck? Exactly. like The other night i did I did pork chops, green beans, and and macaroni and cheese.
04:51:11
Speaker
Son of a bitch. Glick, I already told you I'm hungry. Why you got keep talking like this? or thing Everything on it. so i'm just like I mix everything every time I eat.
04:51:24
Speaker
I'm saying, man. That's the it's supposed to be. Just get it all melted together and shit. yeah I'm on board for that. You're not going to be with Kayla that night because we're all four going to do it together. You got to come from Jersey.
04:51:37
Speaker
Right? yeah Basically, Modal's basically in Ohio. He's like in Ohio. I'm Ohio's South. I'm Cincinnati's South. Retarded cousin. He's a part of Ohio, but we don't really claim him. him That's Kentucky. He's like he's like that slur on the side. Yeah.
04:51:56
Speaker
I'm like Ohio's side bitch. I mean, I'm from Ohio. you could be mean i um'm I'm from ohio and just, I just moved over to, you know, over here when I got divorced. is your ex-wife And don't.
04:52:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. The only time, the only time I crossed that fucking bridge, go to Ohio is for two reasons. Well, two reasons. One, I'm being all lumped together, like going to see my grandkids or birthday parties for my grandkids or shit like that. Right. yeah So like family related shit, or if I got like a photo shoot over there, other than that, I don't go, i don't cross that motherfucker. I try to avoid that shit like a plague, man. that beats go Well, it's terrible here. I mean, in the last two years, it doesn't matter what fucking time of day, like I leave my house to go somewhere like 75 fucking North into like from, you know, Northern Kentucky into Cincinnati.
04:52:49
Speaker
It's a fucking parking lot. I mean, what should be a fucking 10 minute drive is a 40, 40 minute drive just to get to the fucking river. you know You know, fuck that.
04:53:01
Speaker
That's not even the bridge I go across, Jersey. she said she i've I've shown her pictures of the... So there's there's a bridge that crosses the Ohio River. It's called the the Joseph A. Roebling Bridge. And it's actually the prototype to the Brooklyn Bridge. The guy built the Roebling Bridge in Cincinnati like 20 years before the Brooklyn Bridge was built. So it looks on the the Brooklyn Bridge looks almost identical to this one. So it's kind of... Like if you've ever seen the movie Rain Man,
04:53:29
Speaker
When Rain Man's in the car and they're going across that bridge it that hums, and he's sitting in the backseat the car going, humming with it because it's on it's got steel plates on it, and that's it's that bridge.
04:53:40
Speaker
who so i this dumb I know which bridge you're talking about. um Jersey, i'm ah i'm a I'm a savage in the kitchen. Your boy loves to cook. yeah I know how to cook. know how to cook for a family.
04:53:55
Speaker
There you go. New Jersey need to come up with some fucking shit. Give it to me and I'll eat it and then you know I can stop eating like a deprived fucking single dude. Deprived single dude. Alright, well I gotta dip out.
04:54:10
Speaker
Love you all. Where the fuck are going, motherfucker? can and hang out with oh no actually i don't know Oh, you know where you're going. You're just leaving here. No, no, no, no. I know kind of I'm going, but I don't know. I don't know it's another live stream or if it's Discord thing. Anyway, love you all.
04:54:32
Speaker
Have a good one, brother. on Next Saturday. sorry man Later. um I'm glad that you think that's what it's going to take for Sarge and I to talk. Okay, I try to come back.
04:54:50
Speaker
All of a sudden Johnny just felt uncomfortable as fuck. just yeah in Jersey said you enter and Hanson are going to turn me and Sarge on so much that we're going to have to dock when we all go to the game.
04:55:06
Speaker
We all get into the game party together. And i said um I said, I'm glad that's what you think going to turn us on. Ha ha, joke's on you. We already did it. when they Bunch of dudes are hitting on us. Moe Dogg's waving his purple crown around. Fucking queen of the pridefully.
04:55:26
Speaker
Singing Pink Pony Club and shit.
04:55:31
Speaker
Holy shit. Oh, fuck, man. yeah the bridges are yeah ah Yeah, the bridge is awesome. i don't i don't I don't have a picture handy, babe, because I'm on the laptop and it's on my desktop. so He's seen it. He knows I'm talking about.
04:55:49
Speaker
You're so old you have a desktop. Well, it's my iMac. i mean Jersey's worth not mine. Yeah, I know. Whatever. Fuck her. I mean, love you, babe.
04:56:00
Speaker
okay
04:56:03
Speaker
Do I have one here? She was in the chat and she was like, Moe Dog's so old. ah Apparently, yeah. I saw that when I came in. I was like, the fuck? He's not that old.
04:56:18
Speaker
She's like, yeah, kind of is. Kind is. Kayla, stick up for me, goddammit. What the fuck, man? there shoes on shoes on she's ah She's too busy. She's on Glick's TikTok and shit looking at all those thirst traps.
04:56:34
Speaker
Apparently, you're on my chainsaw, looking at my thirst traps, if you know about them. I only know about them because you brought them up that one night. She actually encourages me to do thirst traps, and and I'm like, I feel wrong if I post a thirst trap.
04:56:50
Speaker
You feel a certain kind of way about it, do you? Yeah, no, I get like, when I posted thirst traps before, I was single, and she was like, I don't fucking care. Post search traps.
04:57:03
Speaker
Okay, they just sit in my drafts. It feels dirty when you're single. When you're single, it's like, I don't know, i've posted a couple since we've been together. She's like, yeah, bitches, that's my man.
04:57:17
Speaker
Bitches. You wish you could have him. me see if i can Let me see if I can edit this real quick and take my watermark off of it. Take your watermark off of it?
04:57:28
Speaker
I don't want people knowing my fucking real name and shit, man. His name is... Fuck all you motherfuckers. His real name is Gilbert. Gilbert Grape. Fuck! I said it out loud.
04:57:40
Speaker
ah who Gilbert! Gilbert! Where's Arnie? That was actually a fucking awesome movie. It was a great retard. yes He played it so well.
04:57:52
Speaker
Gilbert! Gilbert! Where's Arnie?
04:57:59
Speaker
yeah a Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't get enough credit. He's a douchebag, but he's a great actor. Yeah. Give him that.
04:58:09
Speaker
What was that movie that he did? Catch Me If You Can? Yeah, that was good that was a good show, too. He was great in Django.
04:58:20
Speaker
and he was great injango Even though he has said multiple times that that script made him feel so fucking uncomfortable. Sure it did. Yeah, sure sure it did.
04:58:32
Speaker
Yeah. You and your fucking hood were showing. I'm not talking about the neighborhood. I'm talking about a white hood.
04:58:45
Speaker
What he said. Sorry, I doubt Leonardo DiCaprio is a racist. He was great. All right. I back there. Throw it back.
04:58:58
Speaker
Throw it
04:59:01
Speaker
Throw it back, motherfucker. i have so many fucking other better pictures of this but ah throw a picture of the specter gobe i' have taken thousands of fucking images of this fucking thing throw it back throw it back motherfucker and yeah More dogs milkshake brings all the boys the yard. right It's in the background. Yeah, this just happened to be one I had on the laptop.
04:59:26
Speaker
so Yeah. huh oh yeah But yeah, if you if you look at that, especially in the daytime, if you look at that in the daytime and then compare that to like the Brooklyn Bridge, they almost look fucking identical, except the Brooklyn Bridge is about a third longer, I think.
04:59:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's a little bit longer. Yeah. But he built that off of the prototype of this bridge, the Roebling. So, kind of cool. Fun fact. There's Cincinnati in the background.
04:59:58
Speaker
Yep. If you look really close, you can see me, like, standing over the side with my pants pulled down. No, I'm joking. Hold on second. How do I screen my picture? Found it!
05:00:11
Speaker
Found it!
05:00:14
Speaker
There it is. a little tiny wanker. Jerba Bob. but yeah Yeah. I've i've taken, i don't even want to, god it's in the thousands of fucking pictures that I have at that fucking bridge, man.
05:00:30
Speaker
Daytime, nighttime, golden hour, dark. I mean, fuck, whatever. Because it it is, it is it is i think, probably one of the more beautiful bridges in the country, actually. But yeah unfortunately it's and it's in Cincinnati yeah yeah yeah for hences although although I will say i will say you know um they brought all the artsy fartsy liberal people to Cincinnati and they've cleaned it up you know I remember once upon a time if you went to Cincinnati as long as you were on on campus at the University of Cincinnati if you were at
05:01:09
Speaker
You were good. But the moment you stopped that campus. Yeah. It's, I mean, they have cleaned it up a bit, but I'll tell you what, man, in the last two months, like downtown Cincinnati, there's like a fucking shooting or two a week, man, in downtown Cincinnati.
05:01:24
Speaker
and You know? i Right there on Fountain Square and a whole fucking nine yards. i was walking around here the other night, man. i was all bundled up because it was like 27 fucking degrees. And i was down there taking pictures of the the new like skating rink that they got downtown because they moved it from where it's been my entire fucking life.
05:01:40
Speaker
So i was down there just taking pictures and shit. And I don't give a fuck because I walk around strapped all the fucking time. Plus, I don't have to take care of myself. You know what i mean? So, I didn't give a fuck. I was, like, walking through the city and shit. But, you know.
05:01:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's getting kind of it's getting kind of stupid. and that yeah was I don't even want to get into politics, but, you know. Yeah, no. I mean, one or two shootings a week. See, Cincinnati is too small a city for that shit. Most most of those shootings happen in, like, just like north of the downtown area, like, uh, uh,
05:02:11
Speaker
And it's sad, too, because that part of town's fucking gorgeous. Like, because it's got all this old German architecture in the buildings and shit. That's why there's so many breweries and shit around here. but it's called over the Rhine and it's, it's way fucking like ghetto and shit. And they've been trying to like gender do go in there and do like gentrification and shit. And, but there's like a three or four block fucking radius that you don't want a step foot in that motherfucker. If you don't live there, you know, cause something's going to happen to you, you know, like you can stay, but, but but the shootings and shit have been like in like downtown proper.
05:02:46
Speaker
And like Fountain Square and shit, which is like... So yeah, it's getting fucking stupid, man. I mean, you know. what And like you said, for you know, it isn't it is a quote-unquote major metropolis.
05:02:57
Speaker
But people don't realize how small Cincinnati really is. like Yeah. yeah It's a small, big... It's a small major city. Cincinnati's a big city because of the outlying fucking suburbia that's around All the outlying shit, but like actual... The city itself...
05:03:14
Speaker
The city itself is only like 13 fucking blocks like big. you know like if you look at you know If you put a fucking drop of pin in the middle of downtown Cincinnati and take that pin out and draw a fucking circle around it, it's only like about a 13 or 14 street fucking radius. Columbus is massive.
05:03:32
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. this Cleveland is big But Cleveland is a lot like Cincinnati too. You have downtown Cleveland... And then all the outer line neighborhoods and stuff like that that are somebody encompassed into Cleveland. but But yeah yeah, that's the thing people don't realize is Cincinnati is not very big.
05:03:55
Speaker
It's not. It's really not. and there's There's not really a nightclub scene anymore. There's not really a comedy scene anymore. I mean, they're trying to bring some of that shit back. They're building up the like the waterfront area. There's some like really nice parks down here on the waterfront and shit. What that, Riverfront?
05:04:10
Speaker
what is that riverfront Waterfront for for concerts? that's a new yeah yeah Yeah, that just opened up like in the last year and a half. anders they They just built a fucking new one right across the river in fucking Covington, too.
05:04:22
Speaker
Right on the line of Covington-Newport. It's pretty fucking big, man. It's it's a big fucking venue. so Hang on, Jersey's wanting me to show something. ah he he He probably can't see that, babe.
05:04:37
Speaker
that the video I sent to you?
05:04:40
Speaker
I took just video driving across the bridge in a car. That'd probably be too big, though. Or is that a bad subject?
05:04:49
Speaker
She went to another team. I don't think it's a bad subject. It is what it is at the end of the day. um Yeah, she's just no longer here. don't know what's bad to say about Angel. I always liked Angel. She was cool.
05:05:03
Speaker
She's just
05:05:07
Speaker
I don't know. I got nothing negative to say about Angel. She was just jealous. And she went to another. Oh, there's that. But I got nothing bad to say about her.
05:05:18
Speaker
Yeah, i was i always thought Angel was cool. I mean, besides the night she docks me and shit. Is your first name blank? I'm like, the fuck? Yeah, for real? Yeah, she like found me on Facebook or some shit.
05:05:29
Speaker
That's crazy. Said it on the live stream. I was like, well, box me much? Yeah, like i just I just saved you in my phone the other day. I'm like. I figured that much. I figured that much. it That's nothing negative because i I'm not one for saving people into my No, I'm the same way. I you know i said this to Jersey today, man. I'm not one for.
05:05:51
Speaker
and And don't take it personal, you know, but I'm not one for adding people that I've met on YouTube to, like, my personal social media shit, you know, like Instagram or my photography page or Facebook. Because you never know, you know, shit happens and shit goes sideways and, you know, like, so.
05:06:10
Speaker
Yeah, so I, like, because had messaged me the other day, and I've seen it, and I didn't pay no attention to it, and I just swiped off of it. Because I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't know this number. It's just a random. And then i was looking. I got a text message from one of the – we have a group chat at work.
05:06:29
Speaker
And I seen I had an unopened message, and I opened it. I was like, oh, shit, that's Sarge. I got to save him, so I know it's – Well, you're saved in Miami. I mean, you know, phone's different, you know. And as I put you on my phone as Sarge Modog.
05:06:43
Speaker
you know like There you go. i won't I won't tell anybody. I am somebody. I made it I won't tell you that your real name is Gilbert. Oh, man. God damn it. Well, you don't... That's all right. She did on that live stream, so it's all good.
05:07:01
Speaker
It was funny. I mean, she wasn't she wasn't trying to dox me. I mean, she said it. It was an accident the way she said it. It was just... Is what it is. Oh, Wanda. Wanda. What's going on with you?
05:07:12
Speaker
Yeah, no. i Yeah, I got no... I mean... Yeah, I told her that night on a live stream. I was like, that's all cool, man. Like, you know. she she She didn't. She this she was like, it was it was one of those nights like when you're in a mood, you know, we're talking about shit and everybody's putting their input in and she was just like, bam, let's do it out there. I mean, so, wasn't that big a deal.
05:07:32
Speaker
Apparently she's not. I don't give a fuck. My shit's locked down so tight. Nobody can fucking get on my shit anyway, so. She's not a big fan of me, but I got no ill will towards her. It is what it is. Yeah. what that Yep, same.
05:07:45
Speaker
Do what makes you happy. That's where people do desperate things. Yep. Anywho. johnny Johnny, what's the next country going to take over, man?
05:08:01
Speaker
I mean, you done fucked Cuba up with socialism and shit, man. Johnny is so fucked up right now. Johnny, do you know where you are? know Whatever the fuck, man, I just smoked... Made me be sitting here staring at the fucking TV while it's off.
05:08:16
Speaker
Well, it's off. How long y'all been talking this now? He's like, this the best fucking show ever. Oh, my God. john Johnny is so far. it's just It's just a picture of Kayla's foot.
05:08:29
Speaker
and alcohol Oh. Little did Johnny know, an hour ago, I turned my camera. It's just Kayla's big toe. this big I just took a puff of that joint, too, and I don't even see where I sat it down. Don't even remember where the fuck I sat it down.
05:08:45
Speaker
We saw you eat something, dude. Did you eat it? Yeah. We literally saw you eat something. You put something in your mouth and ate it. Did you just eat the roach, man? Johnny, do you know what planet you're up I fucking might know. Dude, I used to that shit when I was a teenager. We used to eat the roach and shit.
05:08:59
Speaker
Smoke it down as far as you could and eat it up. I mean, allegedly. Wait, that's a thing? Eating a roach is a thing? A joint roach, not a cockroach motherfucker. I don't know. I know nothing about weed or smoking. I So here's a funny story. I don't and I don't care telling it because I'm not doxing anybody because, well, you know, he died nine years ago. But my brother, when he came back from fucking Vietnam, he was kind of anyway.
05:09:31
Speaker
yeah the mafia The mafia is alive and well because I know this because he was their fucking drug runner, right? So when I was, he was 10 years older than me. So when I was like 13, 14, 15, he was 23, 24, 25. You know, he just got out of, you know, his tour of the fucking army. And he'd know he'd always been a pothead his whole life, right? hes so He smoked weed since he was like 10 years old.
05:09:52
Speaker
But, uh. He used to think it was cool to get little brother high, right? I thought it was cool as fuck because I used to get all my shit for free because he'd give it to me, you know? And I didn't know until a little bit later in life that he he was making like, he would drive down to Miami like three times a week, drive back.
05:10:10
Speaker
And they never paid him a fucking dollar. like in And the cops here locally in the city knew who the fuck he was, knew what he was doing, but they wouldn't touch him because they knew who he was doing it for, you know? So what they started doing is they started staking out his fucking house.
05:10:24
Speaker
And then, like, as people would come over to his house, he was obviously selling them shit, right? They'd wait until they got two or three blocks away, and then they'd fucking pull him over. So that shit got figured out.
05:10:34
Speaker
And the the local cops in the area got a visit from the fucking mafia that was like... ah Keep fucking around. Keep fucking around. You know? uh, yeah, this motherfucker, I mean, I'm talking like back in the mid eighties and shit, early eighties.
05:10:49
Speaker
This dude was like, ah again, they didn't pay him a dime. They just gave whatever he brought back. He got a cut of, you know, and then he would sell that, you know? So this motherfucker was making like 400, 500, $500,000 fucking year back in the Just,
05:11:06
Speaker
selling shit, you know, like he was, he was like, you know, he, they, there was lines. He knew he couldn't go into this tatt territory or that territory, you know, cause it was their shit, but he was also selling their shit for them.
05:11:19
Speaker
So yeah, I fuck when I was a teenager, man, i used to hang out with the like top two fucking mafia dudes and shit over at my brother's house, you know, but I used to get everything for fucking free. And then like when I decided I was goingnna join the Marine Corps, I, you know,
05:11:33
Speaker
Because, you know, like the recruiters, they tell you, it's like shit's zero fucking tolerance. Like you can't be, because they check for that shit. And they do. I mean, we got piss tested the entire time I was in. I think we got piss tested like once, sometimes twice a month, you know.
Marijuana Memories and Risky Adventures
05:11:46
Speaker
um It is fucking zero tolerance. And what I didn't know, and a recruiter fucking told me about, is marijuana stores in your fat cells, right? So if you're kind of fucking chubby and you go to boot camp,
05:11:59
Speaker
And while you're, they test you while you're in bootcamp, they test you before bootcamp, but they test you in bootcamp too. So, you know, if you start losing weight while you're in bootcamp, you can pop and like you, you may not have smoked for a fucking year.
05:12:11
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like, but this shit will pop. Cause like you start losing weight, fat cells start fucking releasing in your body. And then bam, you just pop positive on a fucking, you know, for marijuana or whatever.
05:12:22
Speaker
So I quit like a good year before. And, you was in shape. I mean, I was ready for boot camp and shit, but, uh, yeah, up until then sky was fucking limit, man. Like whatever he had that week I got for fucking free. So it got to the point where like my, my, my teenage friends would all sit around and like smoke, like a pin joint, you know, just a thin fucking joint, you know, you're like, like a normal fucking joint. Right. And three or four of them would like smoke that and share it and get fucking high. And I'd be sitting there with these like, you know, fucking stogies, you know, like four deep in my fucking shirt pocket, you know, like, yeah, you guys do you. I got this shit over here, you know, got so high one night we were sitting under my parents fucking porch, man.
05:13:03
Speaker
And you know how when you get so high, like all common sense fucking goes bye bye, you know, we're sitting there and I got, I got a pair of Converse on that, but brand new fucking Converse that day. Right.
05:13:15
Speaker
And my friend Steve, who lived across the street, we're high as fuck. I think we've been dropping like four-pane window acid and shit. I don't even think they make that anymore. But that used to be like my drug. That was one of my favorites, man, was fucking dropping acid.
05:13:29
Speaker
but So we're all high as fuck. And Steve's been sitting there for 45 minutes sharpening his fucking axe, right? Because we were just shooting the shit under the fire. And he's like, I bet I cut your shoelaces off with your foot on what your shoe on your foot. And my high ass was like, bet you can't.
05:13:49
Speaker
This motherfucker started to come down with it, man. And at the last second, my other friend kicked my fucking foot out of the way. And it's a good it's a good thing he did. have split my fucking foot right in fucking half from the top down, man.
05:14:00
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I bet I can fucking cut your shoelaces off while your shoe's still on your foot. be Bet you can't, motherfucker.
05:14:11
Speaker
That sounds like an Ohio thing to say. God damn, man. There was some stupid fucking shit we did back then, man. I look back at some of the shit I did growing up and I'm like, I shouldn't be here. I literally shouldn't fucking be alive, man. Yeah, no. i yeah I look back and I think about and and all I've ever done, i'm ah I've always been a drinker.
05:14:31
Speaker
I've been drinking since I was 14 15 years old i've always been a drinker i never never got into anything like that i dude i would i wouldn't have either had it not been for my brother yeah you know but but there's a lot of the same similar stories you know yeah there's such an ohio thing i bet you can't yeah i bet you can't motherfucker oh yeah well hold my beer have you heard my my my fucking garage story have i told you that I don't think so. So what one of my friends in the neighborhood, because this was back when, you know, internet shit obviously didn't exist. It was late 70s, early 80s, right? Yeah.
05:15:08
Speaker
You know, so like, what house were you hanging out with? What was the house with 13 fucking bicycles laying over in the front yard? you know, that's where everybody was at. Right. But this guy had a, he had a, my friend Larry's dad was a mechanic. So he had this huge fucking double garage. Right. When I say double, it was probably really more like quadruple. Like, yeah like you could fit, you could fit four cars in there easily. Cause he would work on the shit. Right.
05:15:32
Speaker
It was his, it was his shop on the side. Well, the back fucking corner of it, like the tree fell down in the neighbor's yard and put this huge fucking hole in it. And this hole was like, I'm not exaggerating. It was probably 15 foot across, right?
05:15:46
Speaker
Big fucking, big, big hole in the fucking back corner of the fucking, the roof. Beyond that was the neighbor's backyard, and it was about a 15-foot drop down, right?
05:15:57
Speaker
But he had a fucking willow tree that was, like, growing right there next to the edge of the the backside of the garage, right? Our dumbasses at, like, 12 years old, we'd we'd we'd we'd fucking haul our bikes up onto the fucking roof, and you could get some speed buildup because that motherfucker was big. That garage was big, you know? So you'd be pumping, pedaling your ass off up on the upside of this side, and then get the speed going down on the other side,
05:16:20
Speaker
you Jump that fucking hole at the last fucking second. And the goal was to land into the willow tree and it would just, you could just ride it down to the fucking grass. You know what i mean? I can't tell you how many of my friends didn't make it.
05:16:33
Speaker
Like I said, it was a 15 fucking foot hole, dude. Like you see motherfuckers like, bam, and just disappear. Cause they fell down, fell down into the shop 20 fucking feet below and shit. or or Or make the jump but then miss the willow tree and then, you know, land fucking tire first at a vertical fucking angle and in the yard behind it.
05:16:53
Speaker
we had ah We had a fucking, at the railroad track, there was a big ass fucking railroad track system that ran right on the edge of our neighborhood. And it went right behind the fucking high school that I went to, right? So, you know the old pump jacks?
05:17:04
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The railroad workers put on there to like, because they they can't go anywhere. There's not roads, right? They're on a fucking a train track. So they got those little carts with the pump handles, and they'll just ride that motherfucker down to you know two miles, three miles, whatever, to the next section they got to work on. And then when they're done with it, they just take it off track throw it over in the fucking weeds, you know?
05:17:25
Speaker
Because they know where it's at. Well, we throw the motherfucker onto the track and then pump jack that motherfucker and ride it to high school in the morning and shit, man. Like, you know? Train's coming, fuck. Everybody bails off and throws it off the fucking tracks.
05:17:36
Speaker
I mean, there's nothing like being high and and like running next to a train that's going like 30 miles an hour trying to catch that fucking door and grab it swing and jump up into that bitch, man. hello we've done that before my um i had ah We had a friend, fucking Ricky Hebel, man. I think we were 12, 11, 12 years old.
05:17:54
Speaker
And we were all doing that. We were you know we were catching trains, jumping trains and shit. And high as fuck, man. And He's running, and he grabs the fucking door, but it was slippery because it was the middle of fucking summer.
05:18:08
Speaker
So it was hot, and then the sweat on our hands. His hands slipped off, you know, the handle that goes up on the side of the door. And just the momentum of when he jumped to grab it and missed it, and when he grabbed to try to hold on, the momentum swung his body under the fucking train and fucking cut his leg off right at the fucking knee, man. The train just ran. Didn't even skip a beat, man, like, because, you know. Heavy ass train versus a human fucking leg bone. You can guess who's going to rent.
05:18:35
Speaker
But the fucked up thing was we were so fucking wasted. We were we all stood there laughing for a good 20 seconds before we realized, fuck, he just got his leg cut off. You know? Oh my god. At 12 years old. that's Yeah. modo modo i ask you and and What's up, hos What's up, buddy? Good to see too. Hello.
05:18:57
Speaker
how are you in the and the marines how long did you serve I did three tours, 12 years. Well, I say that. I did 10 years active and in two years in the reserves. Okay. Because that was back when they were, that's back when like Clinton was shutting down bases and shit and a bunch of fucking people were getting out.
05:19:13
Speaker
It's the only reason I got out, honestly. But I wish I'd never did. but But yeah, total, yeah, 12 years. Okay. I've always been curious about that and I can never remember if I asked you or not.
05:19:26
Speaker
Yeah. You were talking about the mafia and and I love this about the mafia. Yeah. oh And I won't dive into it. I won't. I have my connection with them.
05:19:37
Speaker
But that this is like the most well-known organized crime syndicate gang, whatever, who tries their damnedest to pretend like they don't exist. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. come ah yeah everybody knows the mob. yeah And they're like, yeah, we don't exist. It's not a thing.
05:19:59
Speaker
And then you got like all these other gangs, like the Bloods and the Crips and everything. Right, to think they're badasses. And then just out there in the mob or and or mafia is just like, it's not a real thing. It doesn't exist. Well, I tell you what, man, the street up from where I lived,
05:20:15
Speaker
We can shut the fuck up if this is boring as fuck to everybody. I can shut up. the The street up to where I used to live. So there there was a version of the Hells Angels in Cincinnati, right? The motorcycle gang.
05:20:28
Speaker
And so they had, they had it was like the Cincinnati chapter, right? And I forget exactly what they what they called themselves, but some iteration of fucking Hells Angels, you know? But the leader of it lived the street up for me, you know?
05:20:43
Speaker
And They would block the street off routinely in the summer, like about a three-block fucking like radius of like the strip of the street. Literally just put up like those safety horses and shit like the police do when they fucking block the street off. Yeah.
05:20:57
Speaker
And they would block off like a three ah three a good three-block session and just race their fucking motorcycles up and down the road. And they'd have Harleys and shit. They'd be out there jumping on fucking Harleys.
05:21:07
Speaker
A Harley's not a motorcycle, or not a Harley, excuse me, a chopper. Yeah. A chopper is not something you want to be fucking jumping over like ramps and shit, you know, but they they would. They're crazy motherfuckers, man. His name was Bear.
05:21:19
Speaker
And you got they nicknamed him Bear because this motherfucker was about 480 pounds. And you would think that means fat. Yeah. this This motherfucker had like 3% body fat on him. He was just fucking huge, man.
05:21:32
Speaker
Fucking huge. Nobody would, I mean, like the cops, like people that would call, right, in the neighborhood. And this was back in the day when everybody in the neighborhood fucking pretty much knew everybody too. you know yeah But the ones that like if somebody newly moved in or somebody just fucking hated them because they were you know their loud motorcycles, you know, whatever.
05:21:51
Speaker
They'd call the cops. The cops would just come down and be like, yeah, and what? What do you want me do? They'll be done in a few hours, man. Just fucking relax. you know um they wouldn't They wouldn't do shit to him It was funny as fuck, man.
05:22:05
Speaker
Anyway, i'll get off I'll get off my reminiscing fucking horse. ah yeah i am you Well, you you said like you bring up the Hells Angels and and you see all the documentaries in your and you see all these shows and you hear all... When I worked for Orkin, there was a chapter down in Charleston and you hear everything bad about them. Oh, they did a... Yeah, I already know what you're going to say, but go ahead. I'll shut up.
05:22:34
Speaker
yeah no it and then it's like i got sent out for a service one day oh well i i had a little run-in that's neither here nor there um i personally had a little run-in and then like a week or two later like hey we need you to go here this is a brand new service blah blah blah and it was
Motorcycle Culture and Hunting Tales
05:22:57
Speaker
it was their clubhouse They were having some issues. It was Charleston, South Carolina. They were having some issues.
05:23:03
Speaker
I went down and took care them. And then I became their guy. Right. As far as, like, that issue and pest control. And any others. and Well, you know, like, pest control. Just pest control. That's what I mean.
05:23:17
Speaker
Yeah. I'm saying you were their guy anytime they needed pest control. Yeah. But. No friendly? You, like, a lot of those guys were just normal dudes. Yep. the end of the And they were super cool. And when when I left South Carolina and I was coming home and they're like, I'm just going to cancel our service. You know, we don't want anybody else here at the clubhouse.
05:23:38
Speaker
Yeah. I was like, you know what? I respect that. And understand that. Let me tell you where to find everything that I do for you guys. And let me, who do you want me to show to do what do? it Yeah. know what I mean? And they can literally get everything that I used off Amazon. Right. They're like,
05:23:56
Speaker
you could have told us that like seven years ago. Well, fuck you, I could. I'm like, no, no, no, no. not going to that because I get paid commission just by coming out here. know what mean?
05:24:08
Speaker
and and And they treated me good and they they took care of me and they tipped me and stuff like that when I would go out there. But yeah, yeah, when when I left, they were like, no, nobody else is coming out here. Well, like you said, most most of them most of them had, you know, but I mean, most of them were blue collar workers, right? But they worked in welding shops or, you know, mechanic shops or, you know, whatever. I mean, um they didn't didn't meet any, not around me anyway. I mean, there weren't many of them that were like doctors and lawyers and shit, but yeah For the most part, man, they were like salty other people. You know what i mean? Like they, they I remember there there was a guy when I was in, I think 11th grade, his dad his ah his his dad died, right? It had nothing to do with Iron Horseman. That was the name of the gang. It just came to me. Instead of the Hells Angels, it was the Iron Horseman.
05:24:54
Speaker
um But he lived in the neighborhood, right? And his dad got killed at work and shit. And at his that his, he graduated a year before I did. But that was, like, the big story then because, like, his dad wasn't there. His dad died, like, two months, three months before high school graduation. and But because he was from the fucking neighborhood, like, their entire fucking organization, like, showed up, rode him to the fucking front of, like, Music Hall because that's where it was. Our school was big enough that they had to, I mean, our our graduating classes were, like, 1,400, 1,500 fucking kids every year, you know?
05:25:28
Speaker
but Yeah, but I mean, they would do shit for the neighborhood, man. Somebody had a fire or somebody lost a fucking job. you know Next thing you knew, these motherfuckers were like giving them food enough for like three and a half fucking weeks. you know i mean And you never got to see that side of them. I did because I lived right there. You can hear the horror stories. Yeah, you just hear the bad shit. And there was bad shit. you know Like some other gang encroached their territory or was doing some stupid shit. And they would they would go to you know they would go to fights and they'd go to guns and shit like that. But, but you know, 98% of the fucking time They were solid-of-the-earth fucking people, man. They just like riding fucking bikes and hanging out together, you know? Kayla's connected with a but an emcee here. and and i and you know And I have my opinion of emcee world and stuff like that. And and I know that it's, you know, you you hear all the bad stuff. And that is zi line kind of in my opinion varies, you know what mean?
05:26:24
Speaker
Hmm. Because there are some of them that are just... Oh, there are. there' but There's pockets of them. na No doubt. And, you know, she's she's connected with ah with an MC down here where she's at.
05:26:36
Speaker
And they're amazing. I mean, they do stuff for the community. Like, yeah a there was there was a dance and they weren't going to do it because they didn't have enough chaperones.
05:26:48
Speaker
And the MC stepped up and they're like, we're going to chaperone. So the kids can have their dance. Right. and and like and And I've got to meet some of the guys and hang out with them. and and does Does Kayla ride?
05:27:01
Speaker
No, but ah apparently I put off the persona that I ride. you yeah you You could look like a biker. You 100% could look like a biker. If somebody didn't know you.
05:27:12
Speaker
Yeah, i will apparently I put that off because that is like the biggest thing that if I go live on TikTok, Like, that is like, what do you think? know, it's it's funny. I'll have to, fuck, I probably won't be able to. I started to say, i I'll try to find a picture of Bear because the leader of the Iron Horseman in Cincinnati back in the day.
05:27:33
Speaker
I don't even know if they're still together. i don't know if they're still a chapter. But, dude, you look a lot like him. Like, in the face, and in the facial hair, you look a lot like him. You know, so. No, I don't, right. But, and this is just a personal preference. You know, I have my opinions.
05:27:48
Speaker
I will never ride a Harley. I'll never buy a Harley. I'll never ride a Harley. Do some of them look good? Yes. I'm one of my best friends. He's my brother. Him and I grew up together. my dad and his dad were best friends.
05:28:01
Speaker
Him and I have known each other our entire life. He's got a beautiful Harley, but it's all custom. It's all custom made. You wouldn't know it was a Harley unless he told you.
05:28:14
Speaker
I'm an Indian guy. I want an Indian so bad. See, that's what I had. I used to ride a bike. I used to ride a bike. yeah I had a Croshaw when I was younger. I bought it when I was 16.
05:28:26
Speaker
my first one My first one was, oddly enough, my first one was a Suzuki that looked like a fucking Harley. Yeah, yeah because like if if if you're ever out on your bike and you pull up to next to a bunch of guys on Harleys, if you're not on a fucking Harley, they won't let you just like blend in with the fucking pack. You know what i mean? But I would on mine because it looked like a fucking it looked like a Harley, but it was not a Harley. was a Suzuki, but it didn't have the badge on the fucking tank.
05:28:51
Speaker
But I always wanted an Indian, so my second bike was a fucking Indian. and i ended up fucking selling it, and that's a long story, but I had i had a fucking...
05:29:02
Speaker
Well, I'll make a really long story short, like really short in a matter of like seven days. I had like three friends that got killed on bikes. Right. And like car accidents on a highway and shit like that.
05:29:12
Speaker
And, uh, I was driving to work one day cause I used to, I used to drive it to work, you know, and it was like 85% was on the fucking highway, you know, on 75. And, and I'm driving down a fucking road. and im umm like My dad had taught me young just even driving cars like he did everybody in our family how to be a defensive driver. You always leave a fucking escape or route. You always leave paths and shit like that. right do Even more so on a fucking motorcycle. yes and so i'm going I'm going down a fucking highway. I'm in a high speed lane.
05:29:42
Speaker
Thank God. I had a fucking helmet. Like, the only time I would wear a helmet was when I was on the highway. If I was just riding in the neighborhood and shit, I never wore a helmet. Um... For whatever reason, right? But but on a highway, I did, right? So I had my fucking helmet on. And I'm driving down a highway. I'm in a high-speed lane.
05:29:59
Speaker
and And if you ever paid attention to, like, on a highway... the fucking emergency lane on the left-hand side, the right-hand side gets a lot more use. So like car tires and shit will throw rocks off of it and it'll be cleaner.
05:30:11
Speaker
But the one on the left-hand side, that motherfucker's got tree branches and rocks and gravel and you're right. So I'm going, I'm in the high speed lane. I'm doing about 75 miles an hour. Going with the flow traffic.
05:30:23
Speaker
I got a semi in front of me, but he's far enough in front of me. I mean, he was probably be like eight car distances ahead of me. Right. I got a fucking truck behind me, and then out ah out of fucking nowhere, this car pulls up.
05:30:36
Speaker
It must have been zigzagging through traffic, right? And he pulls up fucking right next to me. right So my escape my escape lanes are gone, except for the fucking, you know, on the left-hand side, the emergency fucking lane, right?
05:30:49
Speaker
And I'm not worried about it, because I'm goingnna you know i'm going to speed up and get past this fucker as soon as I can, right? Yeah. About the same time that happened, anybody here golf? if youve got like If you're golfing, when you hit your ball, you see that motherfucker.
05:31:04
Speaker
People standing right there with you might not, right? Because it's easy to lose a golf ball, but you're like you're you're zoned in on it, right? i see You know those big-ass fucking black beetle bugs with the fucking big-ass weens wings on them and shit?
05:31:17
Speaker
just like Yeah, it was this was summertime. I didn't know people here would know. That's what we call them here, June bugs. Exactly. But this motherfucker was fat. Like, it was fat enough that eight car lengths ahead of me, you know how wind wind goes like this over the back of a truck, right?
05:31:33
Speaker
I saw this motherfucker come over the top of that fucking truck. So I'm im i i'm going down the fucking road, right? I'm doing 75, and I'm doing this shit. I'm like, I'm trying to judge where I think this motherfucker's going to come so that I can i can i can left or right slip him, and he's going to go by right?
05:31:50
Speaker
Well, I fucking, i you know, I bobbed when I should have fucking weaved, whatever. He fucking come over. This motherfucker hit me dead center. but If I wouldn't have had a helmet on, he would have fucking killed me. It would have killed me at 75 mile an hour. Because that impact would have been like a rock hitting me, like shot out of a fucking gun, man. You know?
05:32:08
Speaker
He hit me so hard in the middle of my fucking, and again, for six six or seven days prior to that, I've had three friends die on motorcycles, Right. And um that motherfucker hit me right with dead center between the fucking eyes. And my shield didn't fucking shatter, but it cracked right down the fucking middle.
05:32:28
Speaker
Dude, I was like this. I was, I was shit. I'll be, I'll be man enough to fucking admit it. I was shaking like a motherfucker. I'm like, I couldn't, I couldn't get over on that fucking, that I, that, you know, the emergency lane fucking fast enough to like, just, I mean, I sat there for 15 fucking minutes to let the fucking adrenaline and shit come down. that decompression Man, I'm telling you, if I wouldn't have a helmet on,
05:32:51
Speaker
they He probably would have split my fucking face open right in the middle, man. you know I'll be right, man. Yeah, he just splits your wig. yeah Right? Hoss, what have you been up to, man?
05:33:02
Speaker
I've been hunting and um playing Ark Raiders. Hunting? kind of hunting you do, man? White-tailed deer. Oh, nice. Have you got anything?
05:33:13
Speaker
um dear de season just opened, didn't it? Yeah. um Or is it getting ready to close? This is the last week. This coming will be the last day. i was i was As much as I've been around guns and shit, i've i've never never was a hunter.
05:33:32
Speaker
but I just never had the opportunity. I would i would have loved to have done it. but and I grew up with it, but I haven't done it in years. The whole first week, I saw about 17 doe and 2 buck, but I couldn't get a shot at the buck because they were standing in some on somebody's property.
05:33:50
Speaker
Yeah. right i got ah I got a friend that lives up in mid-Ohio that, ah I don't know, he's got like 78, 80 acres or something like that. Beautiful fucking piece of property.
05:34:02
Speaker
And allegedly, I'll put that out there, right? Allegedly, every every fucking year, man, he like fills his fucking freezer with deer that just like come into his backyard you know, which you're not supposed to do, you know, so here, here in PA every year you can get six doe tags and one buck tag.
05:34:29
Speaker
I think that's what it is here too. I got a lot of friends that hunt. I just personally don't let myself. How's your hunter? Obviously. right Um, so when I was growing up, growing up here in Ohio, uh,
05:34:43
Speaker
ah I don't know if it's still a thing because I've heard some people talk about it. um We used to be able, like, I can go out and shoot 100 deer on my property.
05:34:56
Speaker
Landowners. Landowners. Is that still a thing? or Or do you have to buy, or are you limited now? I think they've changed that. Yeah. Now you have to get red tags. like It's called red tag season. You go to a landowner, like a farmer.
05:35:14
Speaker
Well, i'm talking about if it was on my land, if it was my land. Oh, then yeah, you can't do that no more. what are you What are you limited to Or do you have to go buy tags? you can. The only thing you can do that is similar to that, you can put your property...
05:35:32
Speaker
on a list for red tag and you can give people red tags and they can buy red tags off. red tags I want to be on my property. If I own 200 acres and I shoot a deer, like, like, you mean, and and also, also depending on where you're at, if you're, if you're living in the boondocks, you're not going to get bothered. But if you're living like, if you're living like near, the only question is how quick do you get that fucker back to the garage?
05:35:57
Speaker
dress it, cut that shit up, put it in your freezer. so so like So like back home, this is back in the day, like back home. um So ah my family, they weren't they weren't big hunters, but I had one of my best friends, his family was, they had 200 plus acres.
05:36:17
Speaker
We only hunted on their property. So they never had to buy tags. had to buy deer tags. No matter how many they, that like they could literally go into town and go to, yeah you know, like somebody who had, to I can't think of the correct terminology.
05:36:38
Speaker
um You know, sometimes you go to a process, like a butcher who has to process them. Taxidermist. Well, not a taxidermist, but. Oh, yeah. um yeah A butcher, meat processor. Yeah, meet process. They check your tags. They register it. They put it in their system. It goes through ohio wildlife, blah, blah, blah, you know, whatever.
05:37:02
Speaker
But you didn't have to do that because you can go, well, you know, I own this property and and I shot it on my property. So you didn't need tags for it. But I have heard recently that that's all changed. And even if even on on your own land, you're allotted more than your normal, what is it?
05:37:22
Speaker
Three does and a buck or two does and a buck, whatever that whatever you're allotted when you go by your license. um Here, if the game warden was sitting out there and there was a deer in my front yard yeah and i'm and I'm on private property, if I would shoot the deer, the game warden would pull in my driveway and arrest me.
05:37:45
Speaker
Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. Like back home when I was growing up, like I could sit like, my buddy's property, we could sit at the back of their barn and we could shoot deer. And if the game warden showed up, basically the game warden was only showing up and coming to talk to us just to see how our day was going.
05:38:04
Speaker
We could literally be sitting there with 15 doe and cause bucks and everybody's like, hey, are you having a good day? nowadays Nowadays, game wardens are kind of scary because game wardens have um just...
05:38:19
Speaker
the same they have the same rights as a police officer they can cuff you and everything and i knew and i heard that it changed with the landowner stuff so for personal not not like not like like you said the red tag like i own i own a couple hundred acres and and you want to come hunt it and i'm like well this is my buddy hoss and you know i'm i'm gonna give him you know, X amount of red tags, you know, because he's hunting on my property. You know what I mean? but We used to, because that's how we did a lot of things back home growing up was landowners.
05:38:58
Speaker
I own the land. That's where I shot it. Of course, the caveat was if you shot it and you didn't kill it and you tracked it, you, you had to find it on your property. If it was outside of your property line,
05:39:15
Speaker
then one of your tags were used, you know?
05:39:21
Speaker
Well, yeah. i leave yeah But the here's the here's the thing about the dough tags. You literally have to ah you have to buy dough tags. You have a ah time limit.
05:39:33
Speaker
You have from the middle of July till the end of August. And if you don't get them in that timeframe, they all run out. Oh, they have a certain amount of doe tags that you can buy. oh I didn't know that. So that's changed too because you yeah because back, and again, this is, I haven't been out deer hunting in years.
05:39:54
Speaker
um So before it was like, all right, gun season is getting ready to come up the day after Thanksgiving. You know, we're going to go, we're going to go gun hunting. And you would go couple of weeks before and you would get your, your four, four, I don't remember what it was. I'm just throwing numbers out here.
05:40:13
Speaker
your four does and your two bucks. See, now they have it to where, um, when you get your doe tags, um, so they, they start out at like, think it's like 720,000 doe tags for, and they, so and they split it off into different sectors of different areas of Pennsylvania. Oh, so if you're like an Eastern Pennsylvania, you might be able to buy like seven doe tags, but if you're Pennsylvania,
05:40:38
Speaker
Central PA, you can only buy three. Up here in my area, each hunter can get up to six. Six doe tags. Nice. But you have to buy it in that July to August window.
05:40:52
Speaker
It's like a concert ticket. whens they When they're sold out, they're sold out. chris Last year, I went to get my doe tags and they were like, oh, we just sold out today, this morning.
05:41:03
Speaker
Yeah. See, ladies and gentlemen, it's not all dick fart. Dicks and farts on nonsenseful Nonsense for Nonsense. <unk> Not always. it serious It's usually the of the night. a opinion but um they A lot of people are upset now because they changed the law.
05:41:22
Speaker
So now people can hunt every Sunday in hunting season. all I didn't know that was a thing either. Because like because before before you weren't allowed to hunt on Sundays, and then now you are. You're allowed to hunt every Sunday. really?
05:41:39
Speaker
I didn't know that. Hoss, you're like, what, 20-something? Going to be 24 in two weeks. Oh, my God, dude. To be 20-fucking-four again. I hate you, and good on you. Yeah, Hoss, you're older than could one of my kids.
05:41:52
Speaker
Shit. My kids are 40 and 37, motherfucker. You told us earlier, you're geriatric. If I was 24, I yeah mean, people say this shit all time, but if I could literally go back to 24 and change shit knowing what I know today, um oh oh my fucking God, dude. yeah
05:42:18
Speaker
That would be fucking amazing. Ese Rios just subbed. Hey, man, appreciate the sub, man. What's up, S.O., you fucking jarhead? Jesus, damn. He's another brother in brethren from the clan jarhead.
05:42:35
Speaker
Semper Fi. I'm not a Marine. I'm not a veteran. I'm just going to recognize. He just plays one on the internet. I just play one on the internet. I just want to recognize.
05:42:47
Speaker
What do you guys say? You guys... o yeah o ah oh See, only the boots right out of boot camp say, ooh, rah. I mean, that's the Marine. like so you know like That's the battle cry, ooh, rah. But once you get out in the fucking fleet and shit, nobody says, rah. They usually just bark like a fucking dog in heat. And they just be like, ah, oh, I'm a good one, Brown. and I can bark like a dog. There you Dog pound. There you go. absolutely absolutely Asso, what's your favorite color?
05:43:18
Speaker
has if he's Is he really a marine, Sarge? Mm-hmm. He is. What's your favorite color, Esso? Get your ass up here. You know what the fuck we're talking about. He'll never go on panel. You'd be a menace. I'd be a menace when you get your ass up here right now, Esso.
05:43:39
Speaker
Esso, what's your favorite color, dude? What's your favorite snack, Esso?
05:43:45
Speaker
It's easy for a Sasquatch. Shut up, Rocky, and get up here. Jump to YouTube. You know where the link is. Actually, you don't need the link. you There you go. See? You see what he said?
05:43:56
Speaker
See what he said? Fucking A. Fucking A. Semper Fi, motherfucker. All right. Blue states. I imagine that.
05:44:09
Speaker
That's right, that's right, and S-O. I thought your name said S-A. What's up, S-A?
05:44:21
Speaker
Nah, he's an old fucking Marine like I am, man. I haven't been on the YouTube streets any that much in the last couple months, man. ain't seen you in a minute, S-O. How you been, dude? what okay Is that what I think that is? S-F-M-F?
05:44:36
Speaker
Semper Fi, motherfucker. That's what thought it was. that okay i love my Marines, man. You guys are amazing. my aunt My aunt's boyfriend was a Marine, and he was telling me some stories when he came down to visit the other day.
05:44:51
Speaker
as as my dad as As my dad always said, Airborne, my dad always said, Marines are great shields. very well that's that's That's the great shit about like inner service shit, man. Being able to fuck with each other and like we had a We've had that conversation on here before. you and I'll be talking about Army, Army, you talk about Marines. We all fuck with the Air Force. But then we're like, great shields. And I'm like, what are you talking about?
05:45:19
Speaker
Self-propelled sandbags, man. First in, first in. And you pick them up, man. like My grandma's going to go to the military, but she didn they didn't pass her... ah went back in that time when she was going to go into the military. They didn't pass her physical.
05:45:36
Speaker
What up Rick? What up Crayon Eater? What up Crayon Eater? Oh there's my girl. Oh sweet Jesus.
05:45:47
Speaker
what he is. Who is that? Is that your woman or your daughter? That's my daughter. Okay. Alright. That's my 15-year-old. There's my son. Enough said. Enough said. but i saw you i saw you I saw your son on camera last week. so Hello. How you doing, daughter?
05:46:07
Speaker
Hello. How you doing? Can you hear him, actually? Can you really? No shit. like one earlo here thing I thing off put it behind me. Yeah, i got I got one of those voices that kind of carry, dude. voice for radio.
05:46:21
Speaker
And a face for radio too. The guy in the top middle with the fucking white beard is a crane eater, not a teenager. We're going to have do it. I guess cranes keep you from aging, so you got that going for you. Is that Rock Lee?
05:46:34
Speaker
Did he really think I was a fucking teenager? I love your fucking son, dude. He said I love your fucking son. look let me Let me know where I need to send the cash app to, man. He's the crane eater, so he doesn't age very hard.
05:46:45
Speaker
Just like your grandpa, motherfucker. What up, Rock? Glick who? Hashtag Glick who? His name is Glick. It's Francis. Don't forget it. Oh, that's right. That's right.
05:46:57
Speaker
I forgot about that. Yeah, go ahead, man. His kids are a little special. Oh, okay. Well, you can say that. You're friends with him. My kids are special because he says that because they're Ohio State fans and Texas fans, not a fucking U.N. fan. So his kids are fucking awesome. That's what I heard. They're not fucking U.N. n fans.
05:47:18
Speaker
I thought he was special because they're his kids. What the fuck? hey hey hey rick Hey, Rick, what is it what is it that we say about Ann, it's a good thing she's pretty because she's goddamn sure not smart.
05:47:32
Speaker
but Who's that, your wife or your daughter? and My daughter. I'm divorced, bro. Ten years happy.
Family, Health, and Entertainment Plans
05:47:40
Speaker
I'm in the same club. Is that your wife or your daughter?
05:47:45
Speaker
No, he asked who I was talking about. when i so i've I've known his kids for, God, Rick, how long have we been friends? His daughter was immediately like, fuck that old dude, man.
05:47:58
Speaker
didn't more beer Rick, how long have you been friends? I don't know. Yeah, probably about well. yeah thank I'd say, well, I got divorced and lived alone for half a year.
05:48:12
Speaker
Then I lived with a chick for a year, so no, probably closer to seven or eight. I'm a divorce ten, so. So I've got two of his kids. like My kids. We've done a lot of live streaming together on TikTok, and yeah Rick and I met.
05:48:28
Speaker
So we've known our kids since they were little. So... How you doing, man? Hey, Rock. Rock, I got a question. Yeah, what's going on? truck and well the verton First of all, man, thanks thanks for bringing the cool factor up by joining us up here. but there's Secondly... There's a Negro in here. Don't say that so loud. they get offended I got to take my glasses off the scene. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm joking.
05:48:57
Speaker
I was just wondering, man, you got that Sasquatch song fucking done yet or what, man? Yeah, Rocky. You know what? I'm not even mad at Rocky. I'm not even mad at you because if you guys are not following this man on social media... Oh, I am.
05:49:14
Speaker
Bro, Rock and I go back farther than Glick and Rock go back. Who? Oh, you mean Francis? Okay, my bad. Francis, yeah. What's my fucking name, Rick? Hey, this is Peyton's new fucking chit-chatty.
05:49:29
Speaker
What is he, Mexican? What is that? I'm calling Ice. I'm calling Ice. I'm calling Ice. is greg god calling ice spring I just put you on a fucking podcast with a bunch of fucking dudes. You just you this you just went on a podcast with people watching you man.
05:49:49
Speaker
he's he right eight hundred and forty five people greg and your hair looks like te over and and and seven hundred of these motherfuckers just called ice dude his ring His name is Dreg.
05:50:03
Speaker
what is that Is that the daughter's boyfriend or whatever? No, it's just a friend. But it's D-R-A-E-G. Dreg. What is the stuff you have in here, Glick? Yeah. this? This is the bad thing.
05:50:18
Speaker
but what is this Look reaction. Isn't that the best shit ever? Rock, look closely. Look closely. Look in the but look in the background. Is that the best shit ever? That is the best shit ever. That is so dope, bro. Rick's daughter just said, I fucking disown you, Dad. She said, that is great. little god Take a look at it. got a little too much chest hair, but the nipples are right on.
05:50:53
Speaker
Yes. What you can see is Francis' fucking tramp stamp. That's And his whale tail. Notice this guy. He doesn't have the one. They cut it out where his belly crease At the end of the day, Rick and I got our boy, Bert Kreischer, in a video.
05:51:13
Speaker
but Yeah, you know what? Hey, you got to look at the right side. I mean, I love that photo. Not saying they were docking or anything, but they were docking. Touching tips. we were buttoning That's what I was looking for. Jersey, I was looking at to see if it was in here. And i saw that photo. I just, had to look. I had pull it up. yeah Rocky was like... I'm going to save this this picture for later. Back, back. The news wallpaper. let's go.
05:51:46
Speaker
welcome to the Welcome to the shit show, SO. You know, we we literally have nine minutes left. We're coming back. We're after showing this shit. Oh, my God. as as Well, hey, before before you leave then, Rock, you need to play Britney, man.
05:52:02
Speaker
You need to play your fucking roommate. I cut my fucking movie short. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're going come back. We're going to come back. We're going to come back. I know, but he can he can play it on this one. You've got nine fucking minutes, dude. you know he' make He was talking shit because I said I cut the movie short so I got to come on here. and so I've been promising my kid for a month that I was going to watch Avatar 2 with him and we were finally watching it.
05:52:26
Speaker
Yay! What did you think of it? We got 45 minutes left. So far, I'm not super annoyed with it, but Yeah, because I loved i love i loved the first one. Who just said the third one?
05:52:39
Speaker
The third one comes out on my birthday. Yeah, I'm supposed to take my kids. So, Francis, just so you know, the week between Christmas and New Year's, the kids and I might be driving by you. Wait, what what? Is that when the third one comes out?
05:52:53
Speaker
The week between Christmas and New Year's, the kids and I may be driving by you. Why? Going heading home. No, dude. wherever New Year's Eve. no else No, I won't be there New Year's Eve. I'll be in New York by that point. nobody my move My sister's got to have a fucking defibrillator surgically put in at 37 years old. oh wait Way to go, Blake. Way to be addicted. Nice job, man.
05:53:20
Speaker
yeah Yeah. He still doesn't give a fuck. He don't care. He's like her AFib doesn't matter. He's like, come to my comedy show. Come, come. Fuck her heart. Fuck her heart, man. Brittany pushed out and left like two hours ago. funniest part of a whole comedy show be me hitting Brittany with a chair. No. Do it. Come on.
05:53:48
Speaker
like Not the comedy show, but like and make a like let me know. and if you can I'll let you know when I'm on my way up and if we can swing by for lunch or something, we'll catch you. Yeah, let's fucking meet and hang out for for finally...
05:54:02
Speaker
Rick, be careful. He'll try to take you to a gay bar. Just be careful. My daughter would fight him. tell us all Because the kids will be with him. And the dog. oh the Actually, I don't give a fuck about meeting kids. I want to i want to i want to hang out with... Yeah, fuck them kids, man. I like Rick's kids more than I like him.
05:54:23
Speaker
He's not wrong. She's got to have an ablation on her heart before they'll put that... defibrillator in. Your sister's older than you, right? No, she's younger than me. She's a medical fucking anomaly.
05:54:35
Speaker
She has in 37 years, she has had surgery on every extremity and on her back and now she has to have a heart ablation and a defibrillator put in.
05:54:48
Speaker
I mean, that should be out. She'll be out the same day. if No, three days. She's going to be in there for three days. Oh, my God. I'm a drama queen. You have to come from Georgia. But her husband her husband will be in Arizona at the time. But her husband's stupid rich, right? that's that's And he's got muscular dystrophy.
05:55:07
Speaker
Yeah, she's not she's not pretty enough to have a stupid head. Glick, you're just batting a thousand, dude. yeah He's gonna die. Nothing that's gonna keep him alive, he will die. Glick's like, he's super rich, right? Rick's like, yeah, but he's got muscular discs. He is super rich, but he is super terminal.
05:55:31
Speaker
think Rick will agree with me on that. He's just super. Can we leave it at that? His sister's not pretty enough to... Marry a rich guy who's going to be dead in like year.
05:55:43
Speaker
No, she's going to drag this shit out like 15. She's got a great head game, apparently. Shut your whore mouth. That's so gross. Yeah, nobody wants to think about their sister sucking a dick.
05:55:57
Speaker
know What the hell, you We all know our moms did it. Hoss. Son of a bitch. That's a voice that ever sees you. Rick, here's to your sister, brother. Sending positive vibes her way, man. You know that I hope that your sister is okay.
05:56:15
Speaker
She should be, but... So, my sister was by far the smartest in the family. She went to college, everything like that. She was RN... And then she had an injury at work, which led them to find that she has, she herself has degenerative bone, muscular, and disc disease. but So her body's like shutting down on itself. Her bones are breaking down. Three minutes. And then, so that's why she's had surgery on all her extremities and on her back. She's had two spinal fusions done.
05:56:50
Speaker
And then her husband, as a star D1 basketball player, goes up and dunks as the white boy, and he can't let go of the rim. They have to bring a chair out to get him off the basketball hoop.
05:57:03
Speaker
Excuse me. Come to find out. He has muscular dystrophy, which for those that don't know is a terminal disease. It will kill him. There's no saving him.
05:57:14
Speaker
So through the years, I've watched this man progress from being a D1 basketball player to now having to drink a beer like this. yeah Because he can't lift his arms above his nipples.
05:57:28
Speaker
Give him a straw. We do, but he still can't lift his arms. away he can't put his shoes on. He can't shower by himself. Get him a straw. like After all of that, Glick, nice job, dude. What a fucking big you're talking about You're talking about a dude who traveled the world and went to dinner with high ups and suits and ties. to Now the dude has to buy the Skechers no crush back shoes because he can't put his own shoes on anymore.
05:57:59
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen. It's wild. all right Hurry up, end this, wrap it up, start a new one. Send me a link. Run it back. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you guys for hanging out.
05:58:10
Speaker
Appreciate you. What the cranny here is doing. and since britain Well, Brittany's not here. Well, fuck her. Follow us on all the social media.
05:58:22
Speaker
Tune in tomorrow. worry Colonel Custer over on the one side, though. Hi, how are you? Me and this guy right below me will be live tomorrow talking football and talking shit. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Okay, good.
05:58:34
Speaker
Send me a link, bitch.