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Teach Kids to Be Kind, Helpful, and Funny
36 Plays1 year ago
In our thirty-second episode, titled "Teach Kids to Be Kind, Helpful, and Funny," we're joined by Barbara Achilles Minardi, the visionary founder of Reach for the Stars ATX.
Barbara, whose journey took her from Texas to New York City and back, shares her insights into raising children with qualities of kindness, helpfulness, and humor. Drawing from her own experiences and inspired by her resilient mother, Barbara offers practical advice and heartfelt encouragement for moms navigating the joyful yet challenging path of parenthood.
Tune in to discover valuable strategies for fostering positivity and character development in our kids. 🌟👩👧👦
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Transcript
Introduction & Podcast Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey moms, it's Laura Olinger.
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
00:00:05
Speaker
Because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
Conversation with Barbara Achilles Minardi
00:00:09
Speaker
Welcome to part two of my conversation with Barbara Achilles Minardi, founder of Reach for the Stars ATX.
00:00:16
Speaker
So, okay, let's shift gears
Inspiration Behind Barbara's Work
00:00:18
Speaker
a little bit.
00:00:18
Speaker
So I want to dive into more of you as a mom.
00:00:21
Speaker
So tell us a little bit like your kids' ages, and then I would love to, and then I'll follow up with, you know, what have you taught them?
00:00:30
Speaker
I know you're probably trying to teach them everything that you teach in your workshop, but I know they're a little bit younger.
00:00:34
Speaker
So tell us about their ages again.
00:00:36
Speaker
Yeah, I have a son who's seven and a daughter who's nine.
00:00:40
Speaker
My son is in first grade.
00:00:41
Speaker
My daughter is in third.
00:00:44
Speaker
And they were really the core, the
00:00:46
Speaker
the reason I started doing this.
00:00:48
Speaker
When I had the idea to do this, I was, you know, talking to some of my girlfriends.
00:00:52
Speaker
I'm like, you know, worst case scenario, nobody understands what I'm trying to do.
00:00:55
Speaker
This doesn't really, you know, have much traction.
00:00:58
Speaker
Worst case scenario, maybe my kids will learn a thing or two.
00:01:00
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:01:01
Speaker
So even if my, you know, even if my focus and my dream doesn't, you know, come to fruition, worst case scenario, my kids picked up something.
00:01:10
Speaker
And they help me a lot in the workshops when I go and do my promotions and
00:01:13
Speaker
You know, I go around to different events.
00:01:15
Speaker
My kids are always there with me.
Teaching Communication Priorities to Children
00:01:17
Speaker
I think it's important not only for them to hear what I have to say, but to see how I'm putting myself out there, to see how I'm, you know, communicating with new people, how I'm marketing myself and trying to build a business.
00:01:31
Speaker
So there's so many benefits to what I'm doing for my kids.
00:01:35
Speaker
And it's funny because even in all my, my material that I make for the schools, cause I designed the curriculum for my afterschool workshops and enrichment programs.
00:01:44
Speaker
And on each little footnote it has for Gabby and Jack's, which are the name of my kids.
00:01:49
Speaker
So they're really the intention there.
00:01:50
Speaker
They're, they're, they are a part of everything I do, you know?
00:01:53
Speaker
And the reason, the way I come up with a lot of the workshops are because of situations that I've had with my children.
00:02:01
Speaker
or being a substitute teacher, seeing things on the playground that, wow, somebody should really sit down and focus on this with the kids.
00:02:09
Speaker
And it's funny, because that's where I got the motivation or the idea for loose lips sink ships about how kids say sometimes too much of the wrong thing, but not enough of the stuff that they need to be telling us, right?
00:02:23
Speaker
And so teaching them, okay, this is what you need to tell a grownup about.
00:02:26
Speaker
This is what you need to tell a trusted adult about.
00:02:30
Speaker
And maybe this isn't so important.
00:02:31
Speaker
It's interesting, but maybe we should focus on other things.
00:02:36
Speaker
And it's big also in the elementary school too, is because kids don't know what's relevant and how to prioritize their folks, you know, what's what they want to say.
00:02:46
Speaker
And maybe something actually really bad happened that they should have told a grownup about, but then they go home and they tell their parents, but the teachers and the subs and the people that work in the elementary school have never heard about it.
00:02:56
Speaker
So teaching them that,
00:02:59
Speaker
Yes, you do want to tell your parents, but let us know too.
00:03:01
Speaker
Tell us this important
Balancing Personal Life & Work
00:03:03
Speaker
stuff.
00:03:03
Speaker
Because I think kids are nervous or scared or they just don't realize.
00:03:08
Speaker
They just don't realize that it's a priority.
00:03:10
Speaker
That's an important thing to discuss.
00:03:14
Speaker
But yeah, going back to my kids, they're fantastic.
00:03:16
Speaker
They are a part of everything I do here.
00:03:20
Speaker
And so, yeah, worst case scenario, maybe they'll pick up a thing or two.
00:03:25
Speaker
I have a feeling they'll pick up more than a thing or two for sure.
00:03:29
Speaker
I'm hoping.
00:03:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:30
Speaker
But I love the concept of it must make your work and your personal life feel like really organically intertwined because if you're like kind of coming up with ideas about, you know, say you're at a birthday party with one of your kids and you know, you see something, you're like, Oh, that might be a good idea of something to teach to my class or in my class.
00:03:47
Speaker
Right.
Engaging Resistant Children in Workshops
00:03:48
Speaker
Like,
00:03:48
Speaker
you're kind of like stuff.
00:03:50
Speaker
And so that's what I like about it, because this isn't just like this is real life, like you're you're you don't just teach theory, you're actually kind of practicing what you preach, because these are things that have really happened.
00:04:01
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:04:03
Speaker
And that's, that's kind of where I get a lot of my inspiration as well, because with I, you know, I have got teenagers in my own.
00:04:09
Speaker
And so then I'm constantly like, Oh, my gosh, this is the thing I need to start talking about more ever, you know, focus on so so I like that.
00:04:17
Speaker
And, you know, what,
00:04:18
Speaker
What do you hope that someday they say about you?
00:04:22
Speaker
Oh, goodness.
00:04:24
Speaker
Um, I hope they say the same thing that I say about my mom.
00:04:26
Speaker
My mom's also a big inspiration for this.
00:04:29
Speaker
Um, she's very strong.
00:04:31
Speaker
She's had overcome a lot of obstacles in her life.
00:04:34
Speaker
Um, I don't know a lot of people that would have persevered as well as my mom has.
00:04:39
Speaker
Um, and so I hope that there's some, some equal respect, um, and consideration there.
00:04:48
Speaker
And I've tried really hard to do good for them.
00:04:52
Speaker
A lot, like I said, a lot of the stuff I do is because of them.
00:04:56
Speaker
You know, they are at the ignition to all of this.
00:05:01
Speaker
And I just want them to think that, you know, I did the best I could.
00:05:06
Speaker
And again, just think warmly of me.
00:05:09
Speaker
I think, you know, the relationships between parents and children are often very complicated with lots of, you know, layers and stuff.
00:05:18
Speaker
Just, I mean, I have it as well.
00:05:20
Speaker
But regardless of all that, you know, regardless of all that, I hope they have positive things to say and they realize that, you know, they were the center of all of this.
00:05:29
Speaker
That's beautiful.
00:05:30
Speaker
I love that.
00:05:31
Speaker
So it made me think, um,
00:05:35
Speaker
What if you have a mom who really is needing help with her kids and she thinks she's modeling or she's trying to model or she's doing her best to model, but no matter how hard she tries, it's just doesn't seem to take with her kid.
00:05:50
Speaker
It doesn't seem to work.
00:05:52
Speaker
And so she finds out about you from today and they want to enroll in your workshop.
00:05:56
Speaker
But yet they have a resistant child.
00:05:58
Speaker
Like what advice or encouragement could you give to the mom in order to maybe somehow help
Making Learning Entertaining
00:06:03
Speaker
get the child there?
00:06:03
Speaker
And then if the child is there and they're still resistant, how can you help break down those walls a little bit?
00:06:09
Speaker
Well, I just come across those kids quite a bit because my workshop is not really a workshop that people technically, you know, that people are that familiar with.
00:06:19
Speaker
They don't really have expectations to tell their children.
00:06:21
Speaker
They don't really know what to tell their children.
00:06:22
Speaker
So their children are even more, you know, confused coming in.
00:06:25
Speaker
So I understand that.
00:06:27
Speaker
You know, when I was a child, I was extremely shy.
00:06:30
Speaker
I was like painfully shy and self-conscious.
00:06:34
Speaker
I had a speaking disorder, making things, you know, communicating a huge challenge.
00:06:41
Speaker
And so I can relate to the children that are nervous, that don't understand, that want to hide.
00:06:46
Speaker
And so I'm really good.
00:06:48
Speaker
One of my strengths is talking to those children and calming them down and letting them know that we're all kind of scared here.
00:06:56
Speaker
You know, nobody really knows what's gonna happen, but let's sit down and try our best.
00:07:01
Speaker
And then the kid, if the child doesn't wanna be there, if it's painful or confusing,
00:07:06
Speaker
I don't want that child there.
00:07:07
Speaker
And I know that probably isn't the answer to your question.
00:07:10
Speaker
Oh, it is.
00:07:11
Speaker
But I'm not a professional in that regard.
00:07:14
Speaker
I don't want to make a child forcefully put a child through something that they don't want.
00:07:18
Speaker
You know, obviously, I would try and encourage and, you know, let them know that we all feel nervous and scared and apprehensive when we are put into new environments.
00:07:30
Speaker
But I want the child to enjoy themselves and eventually get that comfort.
00:07:35
Speaker
And if they're not going to, well, then maybe they'll, maybe, maybe we'll try it again in six months, you know, maybe some growth for them might, might be what they need.
00:07:43
Speaker
Well, I think that's, or just maybe a different avenue is some of the, I have quarterly workshops at the Lake Travis community library where I do free community events for everybody in the area.
00:07:55
Speaker
And so maybe, you know, encouraging the child to come to one of those free events with their family, getting to know me, kind of getting to know the vibe and, and,
00:08:04
Speaker
you know, what I represent, you know, maybe then they'd be more comfortable later on doing something a bit more private with me.
00:08:10
Speaker
But I think it's all baby steps, right?
00:08:12
Speaker
I don't want the kids to jump in.
00:08:14
Speaker
It's not going to be a fit for anybody.
00:08:16
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's an excellent answer.
00:08:18
Speaker
You know, it just, maybe it's not the right time.
00:08:20
Speaker
Maybe it's not the right fit at the moment, but that doesn't mean it's not going to be
Boys' Receptiveness to Workshops
00:08:24
Speaker
in the future.
00:08:24
Speaker
And I like the idea of baby steps and, you know, nobody is going to really be receptive if they're so shut down, they won't be able to learn.
00:08:31
Speaker
So how do you make it fun for the kids?
00:08:33
Speaker
Because, you know, I'm thinking I'm imagining like the mom's thinking, oh, my child wouldn't like that or they wouldn't think it was fun.
00:08:39
Speaker
So what do you do?
00:08:40
Speaker
I mean, I know you because I've met you personally and you are very fun and engaging your dynamic like that's your personality.
00:08:47
Speaker
But how do you like apply that to the curriculum?
00:08:50
Speaker
That's part of everything I do.
00:08:51
Speaker
The kids aren't going to learn if they're not entertained.
00:08:54
Speaker
Right.
00:08:54
Speaker
And they're not going to want to come back if they're not entertained.
00:08:57
Speaker
It's not going to sit.
00:08:57
Speaker
They're not going to like me.
00:08:59
Speaker
So, you know, engaging with them, having them relax and know that I'm not some rigid woman, you know, in there with a ruler trying to teach them etiquette, but that there's real world applications for this.
00:09:11
Speaker
And, you know, maybe we're not going to have the most fun right now, but later on, you'll leave here with a smile on your face.
00:09:17
Speaker
just be receptive to the information and then we'll get through it because a lot of it is kind of these rigid rules sometimes, or these, you know, these definitions that are a bit dry when I'm trying to teach about character strengths, like,
00:09:29
Speaker
the definition of resilience and perseverance.
00:09:32
Speaker
You have to explain these and the kids kind of in one ear out the other.
00:09:36
Speaker
So I explained that, you know, after we get through all the grit of it, you know, that there'll be fun, that there'll be activities.
00:09:43
Speaker
And I always make jokes.
00:09:44
Speaker
I'm always light.
00:09:47
Speaker
I try not to take the class too seriously.
00:09:51
Speaker
When I was younger, one of the reasons I started doing this was that when I was younger, I was an assistant to an etiquette coach in high school.
00:09:58
Speaker
this is what I did for my high school job.
00:10:00
Speaker
So I was always in the finishing programs.
00:10:03
Speaker
I was always going around to different events and, and areas and watching her teach the children and watching her, you know, do the trainings and kind of having that lens of seeing what worked, seeing what didn't taking the things that I knew that were necessary, making sure that I brought them in, but doing it in a way that it was more modern, more fresh, more entertaining, cracking jokes, you know,
00:10:28
Speaker
I'm a big fan of Shrek.
00:10:31
Speaker
So a lot of my workshops have Shrek references.
00:10:34
Speaker
And who doesn't like Shrek, right?
00:10:36
Speaker
And so I try and bring in little clips and little funny things just to keep the children entertained and make it an event and not just lessons.
00:10:44
Speaker
Yeah, it does.
00:10:47
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like that sounds like a lot of fun.
00:10:50
Speaker
And then what about what's your take on kind of like boys versus girls?
00:10:54
Speaker
Because we talk a lot about this stuff.
00:10:57
Speaker
What I think of is girls being able to kind of like want to be more interested in this and want to absorb, you know, because we're like relational and boys tend to have that stereotype of being like the more physical.
00:11:08
Speaker
And so this information might not be as relevant.
00:11:11
Speaker
But you have a daughter and a son.
00:11:12
Speaker
So I'm sure you've learned a workaround
Engagement Differences: Teenagers vs Younger Kids
00:11:15
Speaker
for that.
00:11:15
Speaker
So how have you done that?
00:11:17
Speaker
You know, a lot of my workshops are more boy heavy, which is shocking to most people because they think, oh, well, this is for girls.
00:11:26
Speaker
The modern manners, that's a girl thing.
00:11:29
Speaker
My son's not interested.
00:11:31
Speaker
But I find the boys are actually very receptive.
00:11:33
Speaker
I think that some of the girls kind of think they know this already.
00:11:37
Speaker
or that their parents have kind of drilled these courtesies and these manners into them already.
00:11:41
Speaker
So it's just another person telling them, you know, to sit nicely, sit up straight, you know, keep your elbows off the table where the boys, this is kind of new to them.
00:11:49
Speaker
You know, we have this bias on how we treat our children subconsciously.
00:11:54
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:11:54
Speaker
Like, even though we want to say that we treat our children equally, we feminize our girls and we mask, like it's just subconscious, right?
00:12:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:04
Speaker
And so I think the kids come in
00:12:06
Speaker
the girls are already like up to here with the manners and the sitting properly.
00:12:11
Speaker
So the boys, I think are in, get more out of it.
00:12:15
Speaker
I think they appreciate it more sometimes.
00:12:20
Speaker
But then again, I hate to paint them with a broad brush because each person is so individual and each child has such a different response to the program.
00:12:27
Speaker
But I think people
Reinforcing Learned Behavior at Home
00:12:29
Speaker
are shocked when they realize, oh my gosh, this is, there's a lot more boys in here than I had anticipated.
00:12:34
Speaker
And, you know, and I don't treat them differently.
00:12:38
Speaker
Everybody gets, you know, but it's a bit of a, it's just something that people don't expect as much, the boys in the class.
00:12:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:49
Speaker
How receptive they are to it.
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:53
Speaker
I have my own personal, I don't know what I call it because I can't necessarily take credit for it.
00:12:58
Speaker
Although maybe I can since I'm their mom, but my son who's 14, well, I have two sons and two daughters, but my son who's 14, I think he's so polite.
00:13:07
Speaker
And he always says, hi mom, how's your day?
00:13:09
Speaker
And I'm like, what other 14 year old boy says that?
00:13:13
Speaker
Right.
00:13:13
Speaker
Because we typically think of them as being so self-absorbed.
00:13:16
Speaker
They're so into their own things.
00:13:17
Speaker
And when I hear that, I would, every time I'm just, I don't know why I'm so shocked, but I just think it's the cutest thing.
00:13:24
Speaker
Or my other son who's 12.
00:13:27
Speaker
I love it when he texts me and he says something like, thank you.
00:13:30
Speaker
Like I've done something for him.
00:13:32
Speaker
Thank you.
00:13:32
Speaker
And I'm like,
00:13:33
Speaker
I'm just I don't know why I should I'm so shocked they're my own kids.
00:13:36
Speaker
I should know that like that that's part of it.
00:13:38
Speaker
But I'm just it makes me feel good, you know, as a mom to feel like I'm doing a good job.
00:13:44
Speaker
And, you know, I think is, I don't think they were always that way.
00:13:48
Speaker
I think somehow maybe just like part of their development and part of what I've been teaching them.
Adapting Teaching for Different Personalities
00:13:52
Speaker
What do you feel like, do you, you know, because you work with such a wide range, can you tell us kind of like what you see in like the six year olds versus the 16 year olds?
00:14:02
Speaker
Like what are some of the kind of unique things about each age group?
00:14:07
Speaker
16 year olds are definitely harder to do.
00:14:10
Speaker
to talk to, you know, to teach them the younger kids.
00:14:13
Speaker
The younger kids are still very malleable and, you know, excited to be in a new environment and they see all the colors and the activities and they're curious, right?
00:14:22
Speaker
The 16 year olds have kind of checked out and they're on their phones and I'm not cool.
00:14:27
Speaker
My Shrek references just are kind of missing the mark.
00:14:32
Speaker
No, they don't like donkey.
00:14:36
Speaker
But, you know, again,
00:14:38
Speaker
Again, it's the broad brush.
00:14:40
Speaker
I hate to say it all to the 16-year-olds, but they come here on their iPhones and everything, so constantly asking them to please put their technology away.
00:14:53
Speaker
But yeah, you would think, though, that the older they got, the easier they would be, but I find that the younger kids are the most curious and excited and the most willing to absorb what's being taught to them.
00:15:06
Speaker
Yeah, they're the most open.
00:15:08
Speaker
So it's almost better, you know, not that you don't like to do it, but it's almost better.
00:15:13
Speaker
It's like if you're going to do it, start them young when they're open and receptive.
00:15:16
Speaker
And then that just kind of, you know, because our brain, our brains, you know, they're neuroplastic and they're changing, they're firing and rewiring and all this stuff.
00:15:23
Speaker
And that's what happens developmentally is, you know, we shed a lot of the unimportant information at about the age of 11 is when the brain starts to
00:15:31
Speaker
you know, shed those initial connections that were made when they were babies and toddlers, but that information is no longer relevant.
00:15:37
Speaker
So it's like this
Importance of Character Strengths in Children
00:15:38
Speaker
information is relevant.
00:15:38
Speaker
And so how can you help the moms continue to reinforce it?
00:15:42
Speaker
Because if they learn it when they're six, they're going to kind of need the constant reminder.
00:15:46
Speaker
So what do you do for the parents to help them?
00:15:48
Speaker
The constant reminders, you know, sitting down at dinner and talking about these things, bottling them,
00:15:54
Speaker
making sure that they're around family members or neighbors that are also modeling this behavior and have it be intentional, right?
00:16:02
Speaker
A lot of families think, oh, well, my children are in sports, so they'll pick up the resilience and the grit because they're great in sports.
00:16:09
Speaker
And that's great.
00:16:10
Speaker
There's nothing wrong with that.
00:16:11
Speaker
But again, it's a peripheral type of learning.
00:16:15
Speaker
I think the intentional learning is where you really need to be at with this kind of stuff.
00:16:21
Speaker
And just the constant re talking about it, bringing it up at dinner time, you know, make talking points, make a list of, you know, have you seen anybody represents, you know, this, this characteristic today, or how did you represent this characteristic today?
00:16:36
Speaker
When I dropped my kids off at, for school, I always tell them to be kind, to be helpful and to be funny.
00:16:42
Speaker
And so, and which I think are very important, right?
00:16:45
Speaker
Because very different, you know, strengths,
00:16:49
Speaker
but very necessary for engagement and communication and building, you know, friendships and relationships with people.
00:16:56
Speaker
One of the things that I focus on, like you said, how do I keep the children entertained is humor.
00:17:01
Speaker
I think humor is one of the very, you know, commonly overlooked character strengths, but it's very important for, you know, making people feel comfortable around you, having people feel warm and wanting to be in your, you know, in your presence.
00:17:15
Speaker
And so, you know,
00:17:18
Speaker
encourage the strengths that your kids are naturally kind of drawn to or, or exhibiting.
00:17:25
Speaker
And just the intention, bringing it up again, over and over and over again.
00:17:29
Speaker
I mean, not in, you know, in a drill sergeant type of way, but just in as casually as, as you can.
00:17:35
Speaker
Well, I thought that was just gold, pure gold, but you just said, kind, helpful, and fun.
00:17:41
Speaker
Is that funny?
00:17:43
Speaker
Oh, funny.
00:17:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:45
Speaker
Because you did say humor.
00:17:46
Speaker
So, okay, that, that just making sure.
00:17:48
Speaker
So kind, helpful and funny.
00:17:50
Speaker
And so that's coming from you and that's what you're teaching your kids.
00:17:52
Speaker
And so I think that's something that I'm going to start sharing with my kids.
00:17:57
Speaker
I think that's really valuable because it's like, what those things make a great friend and they make a great classmate, make a good kind of just like good citizen.
00:18:07
Speaker
And so what about, you know,
00:18:10
Speaker
Bringing up or bringing out the character strengths in maybe someone that's not, it's not as easy or it's not as obvious.
00:18:17
Speaker
Maybe they
Character Education: A Parenting Essential
00:18:18
Speaker
are the more closed off child and they're not really showing you what, or maybe they're showing like some negative things and you're having a hard time finding those positives.
00:18:26
Speaker
How do you help them do that?
00:18:29
Speaker
I think just, you know, going through different activities, sports, Girl Scouts, scouts, putting them in an environment to where they're maybe able to pick it up from other people.
00:18:40
Speaker
And I think also sometimes, I mean, I know you said the negative, which is not good, but sometimes being closed off and reserved and quiet, I don't think see that as a weakness sometimes.
00:18:50
Speaker
I mean, yes, you might, you know, yeah, yeah.
00:18:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:56
Speaker
Like if they're in your class and you're having a hard time getting speed on them, you know, I was just, I was just, I love, I'm, I love introverts.
00:19:03
Speaker
They're great.
00:19:04
Speaker
Um, they make the best.
00:19:07
Speaker
Yeah, I don't want to put the spotlight on anybody who doesn't want the spotlight on them.
00:19:11
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:19:12
Speaker
I think that comes with respecting their boundaries.
00:19:13
Speaker
Some people just aren't going to enjoy that.
00:19:17
Speaker
But like, but going back to the negative, if they're if they're exhibiting negative things, you know, making sure they're in an environment to where they're around people that are exhibiting positive traits.
00:19:26
Speaker
Right.
00:19:27
Speaker
And then hopefully slowly they'll, you know, develop and a little bit of the other people rub off on them.
00:19:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:34
Speaker
And then, you know, and if they're not try something new, you know, sometimes, sometimes, you know, especially with sports and dance, it could be very competitive.
00:19:43
Speaker
So you put them into these things thinking that they're going to learn all these fabulous behavior traits.
00:19:48
Speaker
And then actually that requires because it's too competitive.
00:19:50
Speaker
It's, it makes them feel self-conscious or it drops their confidence.
00:19:55
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:19:55
Speaker
So making sure they're actually in the right activity for them as well.
00:19:58
Speaker
Right.
00:20:00
Speaker
I think it's important.
00:20:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:01
Speaker
That's actually, that's really wise.
00:20:03
Speaker
Another, I feel like that's a golden tip for today is really being aware of the environments that they are putting their kids in.
00:20:11
Speaker
I can't remember who taught me this.
00:20:12
Speaker
It was one of my guests a long time ago.
00:20:14
Speaker
And so now my mind, it'll, it'll take me a second, but they talked about talking to the coach.
00:20:20
Speaker
of the team or maybe if it's the dance leader, whoever, you know, whoever the adult is that is in charge of the activity and really to get to know them and to form a relationship with them and how important that was.
00:20:31
Speaker
And I was like, wow, I never did that when my kids were younger.
00:20:34
Speaker
I didn't think of that.
00:20:35
Speaker
I just, you know, assumed that it was fine, but I didn't think of like really developing that relationship.
00:20:40
Speaker
So what are your thoughts about that?
00:20:42
Speaker
they're the leader, right?
00:20:43
Speaker
It's like when you're in a corporate environment, the leader sets the stage and the energy tone for the entire company.
00:20:48
Speaker
Same thing with sports teams or dance teams, that the leader, the coach is going to be the one who, who models initially, right?
00:20:55
Speaker
And if they come in very competitive, very, you know, like you said, authoritative, then it's not going to suit a lot of the children very well.
00:21:04
Speaker
So yeah, they definitely set the tone.
00:21:06
Speaker
Definitely.
00:21:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:09
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:09
Speaker
So we have just a few minutes left and how would you like to spend that?
00:21:13
Speaker
Because, you know, again, our audience is worldwide, so maybe not everybody can get to your classes, but like, what are just a, maybe a few more things that tidbits that you could give the moms today?
00:21:26
Speaker
Again, focusing that intention on the character strengths and the strengths and the traits that you want to see in your children.
00:21:33
Speaker
We are overwhelmed as parents.
00:21:35
Speaker
There's so much information being thrown on a,
00:21:37
Speaker
thrown at us on how to do parenting properly, right?
00:21:41
Speaker
We put our children into sports.
00:21:44
Speaker
We spend Saturday mornings and Sunday nights in the freezing cold or the heat to try and encourage athletic strengths in our children.
00:21:53
Speaker
We spend hours helping them with math and reading novels to them and teaching them all this stuff to develop academic strengths.
00:22:01
Speaker
I know my house is covered with glitter and paint.
00:22:04
Speaker
in the hopes that my children will develop artistic strengths.
00:22:07
Speaker
And so we do all these things already as parents to develop these strengths, but the strength that really is the most important that leads, you know, to have overall success and happiness and wellbeing and harmony in life are the character strengths.
00:22:20
Speaker
Yet they're commonly overlooked or assume that they'll be picked up, you know, by doing other things.
00:22:26
Speaker
So again, focusing intentionally on these, on these strengths,
00:22:30
Speaker
Because these strengths are going to be the things that really decide the pathway and the behaviors and the impact that you'll have in life.
00:22:39
Speaker
And another thing about character strengths that I think is so important is that it's fluid, right?
00:22:44
Speaker
You're not born with a certain strength.
00:22:46
Speaker
And in that sense.
00:22:47
Speaker
So with IQ, as I know is a popular thing right now to discuss, is how IQ, you're just born with it, right?
00:22:56
Speaker
Yet we're constantly doing puzzles and doing all these things to try and improve our intelligence and make ourselves more smart, which is great.
00:23:03
Speaker
But you can't really change it, but you can change, you know, your honesty, your integrity, the core values that, that make you a person that make you have, you know, that make you engage with the world.
00:23:15
Speaker
Those are something that we can develop and, and, and,
00:23:21
Speaker
So I think it's important to focus on that because if you're going to spend time on something, make it something that you have control over, not something you don't have control over.
00:23:29
Speaker
And so, yeah, I think I think character strengths are overlooked as a part of a necessity in raising children.
00:23:39
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, if you think about it, this is not things that we were taught as children.
00:23:43
Speaker
We didn't have this social emotional learning component when we grew up.
00:23:48
Speaker
So it doesn't necessarily may become natural that we are outwardly teaching it.
00:23:52
Speaker
So I love that you've kind of like found this niche and you realize how important this is and you're sharing your message.
00:23:59
Speaker
and really getting that out there and really explaining like why this is important, you know, coming on to talking to an audience like today and really bringing this to the mom's awareness.
00:24:07
Speaker
Because I know as we all are, we are kind of on autopilot.
00:24:11
Speaker
We're just going throughout our day.
00:24:12
Speaker
And like you're saying, we focus on all these things, but maybe like one of the most important things that we can possibly imagine, we are actually overlooking because there hasn't been a structure for us in the past.
Contact & Program Engagement
00:24:24
Speaker
And so I think that the work that you're doing is just incredibly important in creating good citizens of the world, creating good people and helping moms help to do that for their kids.
00:24:35
Speaker
So going forward, how can people find you if they want to reach out, if they want to learn more about your programs?
00:24:42
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:24:43
Speaker
So I have a website, reachforthestarsatx.com.
00:24:48
Speaker
And then I'm also on social media, reachforthestarsatx.com.
00:24:53
Speaker
They can private message me on my website.
00:24:56
Speaker
I have all of my upcoming events.
00:24:59
Speaker
I have a few community events coming up at the Lake Travis library.
00:25:02
Speaker
I'm doing quite a few things, but I have everything that's available there.
00:25:08
Speaker
And then if there's anything that you don't see that you are interested in, in your children learning, let me know.
00:25:13
Speaker
I'm always looking for new ideas, new content.
00:25:16
Speaker
You know, maybe you're, I had a parent actually reach out to me last year, their children are going to a wedding.
00:25:21
Speaker
So I customized a wedding, you know, the I do's and I don'ts of being a wedding guest.
00:25:27
Speaker
How to, you know, have all your handles yourself in that environment.
00:25:31
Speaker
And so I'm open to ideas.
00:25:33
Speaker
And I would love to, I would love to meet new people and be there for your guests.
00:25:39
Speaker
That is really great.
00:25:40
Speaker
And I have a vision for you of kind of going national or going global with like having some more courses that maybe are digitally accessible for other people.
00:25:49
Speaker
So that's my magic.
00:25:53
Speaker
Ta-da.
00:25:53
Speaker
Send it to me.
00:25:54
Speaker
I'll take it.
00:25:55
Speaker
Yes.
00:25:58
Speaker
So anyway, yes, be kind, be helpful, be funny.
00:26:01
Speaker
This is amazing.
00:26:02
Speaker
And Barbara, thank you so much for coming on today.
00:26:05
Speaker
It's incredibly helpful and knowledge and just great information for all of our guests.
00:26:11
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast, because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:26:18
Speaker
Don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends.