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Humpday HaHa's
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Michael & Brit are gonna be chopping it up about some comedy again tonight! Listen in, chime in & have a GREAT time with them!
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Transcript
Intro and Ice Cream Debates
00:00:00
Speaker
And go. Okay, what we need, Ritt, is some kind of a intro for Wednesday night show, Humpty Ha Ha's. What would you do for an intro?
00:00:16
Speaker
Humpty Ha Ha's? I feel like...
00:00:23
Speaker
I don't know. What would you say to intro the show? What would you say to intro the show?
00:00:30
Speaker
Why are you putting me on the spot while you're recording me too, you motherfucker? Just do it. i Tell me the intro of the show. We need an intro for the show, Britt.
00:00:41
Speaker
And go.
00:00:43
Speaker
la Welcome, everybody.
00:00:50
Speaker
can't do this with just you. Welcome, everybody, to what? and Welcome, everybody, to Hump Day Ha Ha's. We're here for some laughter and fun times and chillax.
00:01:05
Speaker
Hope everybody's having a great night. Here with Michael and we got Brittany. Let's go. Let's have some fun with some comedy. Boom. I think that might work.
00:01:18
Speaker
I still cannot get over that. I love that intro. i don't know if I'm changing or ever <unk>t all to come the things intro or not. What's up, How you doing? I'm doing good. How are you? Wednesday, so we're fucking around. What's going down? We're fucking around. That's what's going down. Damn right, damn right, damn right. That's been kicking it. I had to get the tires on my truck and had frigging alignment, and that's still not back yet. So I'm just, ah you know, bumming rides.
00:01:48
Speaker
Got my boy Mike in the house. don't know he's going join us or not. But also in the house, Britt, give us a big old intro for our guest tonight. Oh, okay. So the other person that is going to be announcing themselves at the New Year's Eve comedy show is Tyler, snotty, jimps, whatever the fuck.
00:02:13
Speaker
Wow. i dream for Tyler James whatever the fuck thank you very much alright do you not see the title under my name it says ice cream expert it wasn't reading all of it I'm sorry that's my bad my bad you how are you doing tonight fantastic how about yourself thanks for having me yeah of course glad to have you um um you know Glad to have the other comedian of the night.
00:02:48
Speaker
I'm excited. do you have any shows coming up or anything like that? um Not really, not much. um I mean, i I got a couple of open mics I've been doing and stuff like that, but nothing much. It's been pretty slow. I've been writing a book recently, so I'm not racing to the stage too much right now.
00:03:09
Speaker
Pretty preoccupied. Is it like a comedic book? it It's a little bit of everything. It's a period, not really a period piece, but um it's like a themed event, I guess you would say. Yeah.
00:03:28
Speaker
That's cool. All right, ice cream expert. What is your Mount Rushmore of ice cream? Top four. Let's go. Top four. Does it have to be in order?
Humorous Debates and Innuendos
00:03:38
Speaker
Well, ah first off, the best is cookies and cream.
00:03:43
Speaker
um No, not even cookies and cream, cookie dough. It's obviously cookie dough. Cookie dough is the best. ah Chocolate and brownie is pretty dope.
00:03:55
Speaker
way ah What? you Oh, you like that? Yeah. Oh, fuck I'm about that life. And then like chocolate and like peanut butter cups is pretty awesome.
00:04:07
Speaker
Oh, yes. Gotta have some peanut butter in there. What else do we got? um i mean, I gotta be honest. I do like um mint chocolate chip. You were being pretty shady about it earlier in the pre-chat, but wow and mint chocolate chip is pretty dope, dude. not gonna lie. Freshens your breath, and it makes you fat. I love it.
00:04:31
Speaker
That's just what every American needs. Yeah. but Oh, wait. Are you? Wait. Where do you live again? i live I live on a planet called Pluto.
00:04:42
Speaker
It's like way out there in outer space. I got to connect like 15. what Actually, you know. yeah they realize What the fuck did he just say? Pluto is real. Well, actually, it's ah it's in debate.
00:05:01
Speaker
It's in debate. Pluto is not a planet anymore. It's been demoted. Well, see, it goes back and forth because they just went ahead and brought it back again. Is this about to be like eggs?
00:05:12
Speaker
Like Pluto's a planet. Now Pluto's not a planet. Now Pluto's a planet. Like, I just wanted to know, can I go ahead and eat the whole egg or do I got to go ahead and just eat the yolks or the yolk bad and I got to eat the white?
00:05:27
Speaker
Which can tell us? The chicken or the egg? Depends on, I don't know. The rooster. the root yeah but guess the rooster did come first the rooster was the only one that did come if you you know really think about it you didn't you wasn't a tender lover and made sure she got there a rooster have you ever met a rooster yeah mons and i want to plug and kill it they just go ahead and roosters are assholes like really they're out for real on my neighbor's rooster i want it dead
00:06:04
Speaker
yeah they're assholes dude roosters are freaking pricks dude and then they go ahead and wake you up early as fuck too it's like bro come on they do it all day sometimes too though do they yeah i was just making a joke you know i i don't i never grew up on the farm are you a comedian who knows stiffy's hole is that one of your friends were do what huh stiffy's hole i don't think he's whole
00:06:32
Speaker
No, they came last time. I don't know. Thanks for stopping in again, brother or sister. I'm yeah very Sounds like a vagina if it's Stiffy's Hole. It looks really small. and like the bos in the middle It looks like a vagina.
00:06:50
Speaker
It's Drew. That's right. That's right. Hey, Stiffy's Hole. like it.
00:07:01
Speaker
Sniffy's Hole is a good name. It's not even... It's like the original Sniffy's Hole 2. It's not like Sniffy's Hole 2 or Sniffy Hole 3. you know three At least it's not Sniffy's Hole or Stinky's Hole.
00:07:15
Speaker
Who's Stinky's Hole? I don't know you know. Some people... Oh, now we got Stinky n Who's that? don't know who Stinky N is. Send me. Send you what?
00:07:27
Speaker
The link. Who are you, Stinky's? who are you The link is open. My only fan.
00:07:38
Speaker
You know, I posted on Facebook a while back. What does ah an average man actually have to do to make money on only fans? And like I was on a start and only fans, but nobody got back to me. So I guess, you know, it's kind of not our area.
00:07:53
Speaker
That sucks. Show your feet. I mean, you know, men go ahead and take over any area. So, you know, there may as well be one place where it's just, you know, that there's just a haven for them. You know what I mean?
00:08:05
Speaker
ah You two younger people, help me out. What says dad's Noel and sometimes she pee bombs? What's a pee bomb? Is it like urine or what?
00:08:14
Speaker
Dad's Noel and sometimes she pee bombs. Pussy bombs? Pussy bombs? I don't know. Penis bombs? It's not that kind of a show.
00:08:25
Speaker
yeah we don't Yeah. We don't do that here. We don't. She shows her tits. What the hell is happening with my picture? We don't do that either. I don't know, dude.
00:08:38
Speaker
i mean, you are the professional idiot, so obviously something is going to I do not know what's happening here. Porn bomb? We're here for comedy. now Pond. No Pond tonight.
00:08:52
Speaker
and now pan now pondn tonight Maybe on Saturdays. looko she Well, see, the thing is, is I live in PA, a so it's actually illegal to do it unless you go ahead and give them your identification and stuff like that. So no porn here, folks. Sorry, PA says No to jerking off, no to porn.
00:09:13
Speaker
Oh, they see me pick my nose off. That's impossible. Picking your nose. Oh, it's not easier. Ha ha.
00:09:25
Speaker
We've already got this naughty. I'm your booger. You picked me the last week and I went ahead and became sentient. Number one booger.
00:09:37
Speaker
My number one pick. My number one pick.
00:09:45
Speaker
Zoddy, what are you doing Friday? You don't have a show Friday night? You're not doing a something with Ryan? Am I doing something with Ryan? He's doing one of those. um Oh, yeah. He did hit me up about ah an
Comedy Shows and Inspirations
00:10:01
Speaker
open mic, didn't he?
00:10:02
Speaker
It's a light him up thing. You can win some movies. Okay. He did send me something about that, but he never sent me a flyer. me see here. Here's Ryan Weiss.
00:10:15
Speaker
see here here's where im life
00:10:20
Speaker
Is that this Friday? Once you're done with that. Next Sunday, 4 p.m.
00:10:28
Speaker
Ooh. Wait, what?
00:10:33
Speaker
I'm not looking at shit. Light them up. Here we go. Light them up. It is Friday at 7. You are correct. I was going to electrical, but guess that's not happening now. I'm going to go ahead and go do that light them up thing.
00:10:49
Speaker
You should have sent me a flyer. I would have been sharing it by now. Get at him, Mendel. Yeah. I'm sure he'd love to have you on that. Well, he did go ahead and invite me to it, I'm going to go to it.
00:11:01
Speaker
Thank goodness you reminded me, or else I would have completely forgotten.
00:11:10
Speaker
So, Brittany, I do have a show, all right? I have a show coming up. It's called Light Em Up Comedy Contest, right? It's on the 3829 Lorraine Avenue, Cleveland, Ohio. That's in the United States if you didn't know that.
00:11:30
Speaker
It starts at 7 p.m. and it's on going until around 9. So, there you go. How you all? Give me a favor. You're looking right at that thing right now, Ty?
00:11:43
Speaker
Yeah. I can be. What's up? I'm going to share your screen if I can. Oh, oh, oh, oh, no. You have to do it.
00:11:57
Speaker
Can we do that? as' move That's blue all the way. Send it to me on Facebook. Send it to me through Facebook. yeah There's Shamba. What's up, brother? Good to see man. Shaman.
00:12:10
Speaker
So, homie can't wait. like shaman in were We'll do exactly that. We will share this to Michael Copenhaver. Good job, Ty. Well done.
00:12:22
Speaker
That voice was so like different. I am amazing. We will be live in 14 minutes. Somebody bring me a ham.
00:12:36
Speaker
What got you into comedy, snotty? I had some chipped ham today. What about comedy, snotty? what did you What got you into comedy?
00:12:47
Speaker
Oh, a lot of failure. Trauma does it to you. Let's put on by our friends at Comedy Showcase, guys, just so you know.
00:13:00
Speaker
There's a meal deal. They Po' Boys, sodas. solars Five bucks advance ticks. Ten dollars at the Doha. Get your tickets now. Think you're funny? Let the crowd decide. Winner gets half the Doha.
00:13:12
Speaker
Whoop, whoop. Are you on here? Are you
00:13:18
Speaker
on here? Are you here, Copenhaver? Negative, man. I got a Friday night show. I'm going to be talking about movies. What are you doing? Come on. Why why am I going you're not?
00:13:31
Speaker
Because I've got a show. that's bull business to run ah business run mean ah he's a prostitute
00:13:50
Speaker
a little bit he's a prostitute for comedy that's what he is he's a very little slut for it who does that mean yeah ah Well, if you're not... Do move around the stage? Do I move around the stage?
00:14:07
Speaker
Yeah. Like, when you do your act, like, how much do you move around with? I mean, i do move around quite a bit. um Sometimes I go ahead and hang on to the stand a bit. it depends on how I'm feeling that day.
00:14:25
Speaker
i do have some act outs. It also depends on the... This set that I'm doing, sometimes I want people to follow along with the bid a little bit more than just kind of like wait for a punchline.
00:14:40
Speaker
So I will walk around a little bit more, which goes ahead and draws their focus and makes them have to pay attention to you a little bit more. So if you got like a longer joke, it helps to go ahead and and move around a little bit.
00:14:52
Speaker
And then like sometimes I'll have my act outs that i move around with. And then sometimes I'll just go ahead and sit there and do, you know, deadpan one liner jokes, you know, especially if it's like an open mic where I'm just kind of trying to do some time, you know, and everybody has their ways. Are Liz Walker in the motherfucking house?
00:15:16
Speaker
What's he up to? what's he out to About 6'1", 6'2". Dude, that was like the third time I've heard that joke, dude, in the last week. i That's almost as bad for me as Bet.
00:15:35
Speaker
Oh, I hate that much. some like fan Check them out. Fans of the network, friends of the show, friends the network, all around great fellers.
00:15:48
Speaker
No good. so there are other one good That's his answer for you. What he's up to is no good. No good. i believe it. is that's why they're the southern outlaws not the southern good guys dude i i went i went to southern outlaws gig and that guy has some serious bodyguards around them all right because like i was going and hung out i hung out with our list and stuff like that so i was just going ahead and congratulating them on a great show was like man you put on a great performance and this dude comes out of nowhere and he's hey hey Hey, you've got to get away from the band. You've got to get out of here, bud. You've got to go. And was like, whoa, buddy. All right
00:16:33
Speaker
They were trying to save the souls of the band from you, you fucking ginger soul-stealing fuckwad. They didn't want you to get another ah and the freckle at the expense of Arliss Walker.
00:16:46
Speaker
See, I have a rule about freckles. All right. So for me to get into heaven, I do have to steal souls. All right. So the thing is, is I got a rule. You sneeze three times.
00:16:58
Speaker
All right. yeah Okay. You sneeze once, you get a God bless you. You sneeze twice, you get God bless you. You sneeze three times in a row, you're not getting another God bless you. All right. I'm snacking that soul, dude. It's trying to get out of there.
00:17:14
Speaker
It wants to be mine. and My boy, Cowboy. That's why they call me cowboy. He says, you only get two. i can't afford more than two.
00:17:27
Speaker
Well, do you know that that you say God bless bless you because people believe that when you sneeze, it was your soul trying to escape your body. So you say, God bless you, and it shoots it up back through your nose.
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah, because your heart stops or whatever you sneeze. I've heard that before. And they say when your heart stops and gets slow enough that your soul can escape your body. So that's why they believe that when you sneeze. Who's they?
Comedic Styles and Practices
00:17:55
Speaker
Show me the fucking poetry. I don't know. Facebook.
00:18:00
Speaker
That's why my grandma told me not to do yoga because she's like, don't meditate too hard. The devil can get you. Don't maintain too hard. That's how the devil gets you. Through yoga. That'd be the worst way to get possessed. How'd you get possessed? Yoga.
00:18:17
Speaker
Hot yoga. Of course the best way. From downward dog to... I was in downward dog. I was literally thinking.
00:18:28
Speaker
That's how I imagined it, honestly. That's how it's going to happen. You're in downward dog. I don't know if was talking about the yoga the soul suckers. i not sure which is which it's the coolest orgasm you can get without sex closest to the orgasm you get without sex oh closest sneezing seven times let's all agree one of the worst things in life is an unresolved sneeze this news that's all agree well one of the worst things in life
00:19:02
Speaker
is an un resolved sneeze I fucking hate oh i'm on with it. I'm fine with it, dude. I sneeze all the time. I love dying multiple times in a row.
00:19:15
Speaker
shes a multiple She's a multiple. She can do multiples. I've done it on the show. My other thing is is like I have this problem called Marfans. It's like something that tall, skinny people have. Not that tall.
00:19:31
Speaker
I'm 6'4". I was about to say he is pretty tall. Yeah, I'm 6'4". I'm a pretty... for um'm I mean, if I'm not tall, I mean, compared to Chuck Lewis, I mean, nobody's really fucking tall. That dude's like... so one's ready I got blue balls from a sneeze that never came.
00:19:52
Speaker
So does the sneeze. That came. ha I don't know, man. I got allergies and stuff. Sneezes come a dime a dozen. And sneezes are nasty, dude. People are worried about shit in their pants. Worried about a fart that becomes a shark.
00:20:10
Speaker
I got to worry about a sneeze that becomes like all of a sudden, like, Gak is coming out. my You want to know why they call me snotty? It's my favorite. play yeah coming out dude it's nasty don't worry those are my favorites if that happens to be in public and it has once in a while i'll just say to anybody that's looking hi got all of that one what was oh my god and starts just digging to a burst for anything use your fucking shirt we'll buy you another one my big brother he like sounds like an elephant when he blows his nose like that would be my alarm clock in the morning he's like
00:20:49
Speaker
I'm allergic to work. Holy shit.
00:20:53
Speaker
I normally get them out in the shower. Shoot, snot rockets. Yeah, dude. I don't do that. That's really gross. You shoot it into the water and it goes down the drain there, dude. It's all good. You gotta feed Nemo somehow. Do you guys need a fucking tissue? No, dude. That's killing plenty of trees, dude. You do it the natural way.
00:21:20
Speaker
what do you say What do you think the the the cavemen were doing? Do you think they went ahead and got caught in old queenexes to blow their noses? I have a rag, too, but I had to do laundry.
00:21:33
Speaker
A rag? Because all the snotty rags. All the snotty rags. it is It is that season, dude. I don't know what it is. it's like first It's like first in the spring, it's all the flower semen getting up in my nose.
00:21:51
Speaker
You know and I mean? All that pollen, and then I sneeze like mofo. They're just coming all over the place. I just recently started getting like autumn, fall allergies, and I'm like, I'm dying.
00:22:04
Speaker
Dude, like legit. Allergies, and one day wake up with a new alligator. Yeah, you do. That's getting old. Yeah.
00:22:14
Speaker
What are you, 25? Guess. Well, ah yes i will i guess I just did guess. did guess 25. No, 32. He owes you a prize from the third shelf from here to here.
00:22:29
Speaker
32. Welcome home. What kind of whiskey drinker box? Oh, I'm No, 32. 32. Oh, we're the same age. Yeah. yeah Oh, shit. You are both weird teenagers. You are feeling it.
00:22:44
Speaker
I'm not a ginger. I'm blind. It just looks like porn. I'm not a ginger. You can tell by my beard. i'm there There's no denying it.
00:22:56
Speaker
I'm getting sent directly to the gas chamber. Once ah RFK goes ahead and figures out autism and gingers, dude, we're all out of here.
00:23:07
Speaker
I am lost.
00:23:10
Speaker
Oh, he's already got me for the autism, dude. I'm fucked. He's like, oh, Tylenol, we're taking out the frickin' autistics, dude. It's because autistics have no empathy and we hate frickin', you know, getting told what to do.
00:23:27
Speaker
So it just looks orange? That's the question. What is it? It just looks orange? That's the question. It just looks orange. What looks orange? Something you were talking about.
00:23:40
Speaker
oh oh i think he's talking about uh rich his hair looks like my space heater is on and it's shining on me and then these lights right here are orange but no it's like those lights are not orange there's a baby purple well the top ones are purple and these ones are orange oh e so fancy it was for halloween yeah yeah purple how do It's Thanksgiving. never It's never over.
00:24:11
Speaker
You know what? I say if Christmas can already start their freaking jingles, then Halloween is more than welcome to go ahead and continue on.
00:24:22
Speaker
Until Thanksgiving. Then it's the feast. all right That's the freaking holiday day that really freaking matters. all right You can keep your Christmas and mean anger Halloween. It is never the early to sing carols for baby Jesus.
00:24:38
Speaker
Pumpkin pie is orange. I disagree. I think most pumpkin pie is more of a burnt orange, maybe a light brown. so Yeah, it would be more of a brown, like a peppered brown. It's so tasty, though. I don't give a shit.
00:24:52
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah. i Get all that fucking cool whip. Oh, my gosh, dude. It's my favorite time of year. I can't wait for the pumpkin pie. know. It's me, too. And then my family gets around and we shoot guns at random shit that we find on the side of the road.
00:25:06
Speaker
That's a new spot to Thanksgiving that I've never heard of. Alright. Well, we put it in the backyard. now don more properly We're going back to shoot shit.
00:25:21
Speaker
Hopefully it's close. It'd be great. And then we shoot fireworks and shit. Hell yeah, it's a good time. dude that sounds Very nice. Tyler, where does Shore County come from?
00:25:35
Speaker
What got you into comedy? What got me into comedy? I mean, where my comedy comes from, it's more like I kind of like think of some things in like a tangential way where it's just like absurd.
00:25:54
Speaker
I go for absurdity and ridiculous. And then some of the stuff is just like real life. um And it's like situational. Like I got this joke where I talk about how ah this lady at work started bringing in packs of hot dogs. Quick question.
00:26:14
Speaker
Do you have this in the tape by chance? Do you have a video of this you're about to tell us? Not on me. and Talks about hot dogs. You have one you'd like to play?
00:26:27
Speaker
Maybe. I don't know. i haven't been... i can go ahead and send you stuff later to go ahead and post up there. But I haven't gone ahead and cut anything specifically. Well, I'd rather play it now so the the chat the chat box can blast you for it.
00:26:42
Speaker
I can go ahead and tell you the joke. The joke is, ah so this lady goes ahead and comes into work and brings in packs of hot dogs every week so that she can eat them throughout the week, right? And one day she walks in, she notices that she didn't zip up the bag all the way. And she's like, oh, no, do you think these are still good to eat?
00:27:06
Speaker
i said yeah i'm sure they're fine they're pigs anuses anyways and she freaks out she's like no these are beef brats i said okay cows anuses whatever right and she really freaks out oh my gosh do you really think these are cow butts because she works in the hr so she can't say anus as freely as i can So I'm like, yeah, have you seen the price of steak these days?
00:27:38
Speaker
Like, they're not using the choicest meat to pump into intestine for your hot dog, right? So she really flips out about it. And I'm like, geez, women.
00:27:51
Speaker
Completely fine with stuffing wieners in their mouth, but as soon as you try to get them to eat a little less, they get all of offended. You know? So I came up with that joke because I found a hot dog pack open in my refrigerator.
00:28:09
Speaker
And I just went off on this tangent, like, are these hot dogs good? I'm like, they're pig's anuses anyways. And I saw that they were beef broth. So I'm like, actually, they're cow's anuses. And I just thought that was such a funny little situation there. So I'm like, who would be most offended?
00:28:28
Speaker
to hear this reality. And I was like, a rep from HR at work. You know what I mean? And then the punchline is that she's fine with eating wieners. She loves sucking cocks, but she won't eat ass.
00:28:42
Speaker
So that's what the whole overarching situation is.
Social Media and Narrative Influences
00:28:46
Speaker
And I just came out of that because I wanted to go ahead. I smoked a bunch of weed and was hungry. And there were hot dogs in my refrigerator.
00:28:55
Speaker
Nobody's sucking me. my last name is Cox. Oh, yeah. Well, we could change that anyways, but we said we weren't on a talk about porn today.
00:29:08
Speaker
That's a cool story. I like that joke, though. But um'm I'm not one of those women that would get offended. I kind of like it. What? Nothing. Big I'm just So I got this joke, all right?
00:29:26
Speaker
So a big thing in the dating scene is eating ass, right? Ladies, if you're into that, no, you will never date me and I'm completely fine with it.
00:29:38
Speaker
Because Your ass or their ass? Well, I'm not eating their ass. That's just, I've never had my ass eaten. Well, so, okay. We didn't even get to this part of the joke. So you're that you must have been the chick in the audience that was talking. All right.
00:29:57
Speaker
Probably. Because this chick goes ahead and says, have you ever had your ass at? And I'm like, no. She's like, do you want to? She said at? Yeah, she said at.
00:30:10
Speaker
She was serious. Anyways, anyways. but but She was illiterate. I talk about like, don't know. That's how you get dysentery. I played Oregon Trail. I ain't going out like that. you know And who knew that butt munch would become a term of endearment?
00:30:29
Speaker
You know what i mean? like That's most surprising to me. You butt munch. Right? And it's like, no, it used to be you're a butt munch, dude. And now it's like, you're my butt munch.
00:30:41
Speaker
Oh, dude. da Nah, you don't want to eat my ass, dude. Like, you have no idea that my butt is like opening day of trout season. You know, a lake on opening day of trout season. Full fishers. You know what i mean? The only way that's enjoyable is if you have an iron deficiency or you're a vampire. So, like, you just don't want to go back there, dude. It's just not... I happen to have an iron deficiency. Do you? Oh, man.
00:31:14
Speaker
Oh my gosh, you're so compatible. Alright, well, you know, maybe come over. I don't know.
00:31:22
Speaker
Michael. neither. That was a joke. there's There's the tip right there. Do an anima first and then shower real well.
00:31:34
Speaker
What? Oh, oh, for eating that eating the egg. I mean, obviously there's ways to go ahead and be cleanly about it. It's a joke. Yeah, it's been mean but then where's the flavor?
00:31:47
Speaker
Where's the flavor? You're one of those perverts. Geez, no, dude, I'm cleaned up. I'm fully cleaned up whenever I'm doing anything. The dingleberries? There's no dingleberries. No, there are no dingleberries because there's no branches for it to hang on to, dude.
00:32:03
Speaker
That's cool. <unk> says hi roofs is business with alienliian every week i don't I don't plant berries in my backyard, dude. it um all those your choice Or a little bit of toilet paper leftover.
00:32:22
Speaker
Well, see, that's the thing, dude. Like, I'm Irish. So it's like that stuff is serious. So you got to keep it cut down, dude. Like, hair just goes everywhere. It's not like Greek. music I have to use it. I have to deal with it. Use it. I don't have to. Well, I do use it from time to time. but different story and So do you guys like um like sitcoms or rom-com type shows?
00:32:48
Speaker
I do like sitcoms. Sitcoms are fantastic. I was thinking, because Michael asked me last week what got me into comedy. And I was thinking about it. And Watching sitcoms with my dad like always made me happy, and that's what really got me to want to start like acting at first. But then I came to love comedy more.
00:33:10
Speaker
Yeah. Stand-up comedy. So yeah, what kind of sitcoms do you like?
00:33:17
Speaker
I mean, I like that 70s show. 70s show is one that own. yeah well We'll talk about just the ones I own. um So the Inbetweeners is one that like.
00:33:33
Speaker
What is Situational? we Huh? Because it has Wieners in it. later you never seen betweeners dude like the british show the in betweeners oh oh were you to police swaankker oh my gosh dude that show is fantastic that is you will piss yourself laughing yes kitty It's so good. It's worth it. it's worth it It's worth it so much that I have a PS3 that is sourced to be from Britain just so that I can watch that specific question I've been between years. You're a fucking nerd.
00:34:17
Speaker
I am a fucking nerd, dude. That's why we're all here. I am proudly a nerd, dude. i I got more than six different game consoles. I can see from here.
00:34:32
Speaker
the All my games over there. I am a nerd for sure. And then i also got my movie collection. I am a cinephile. It's it' better than other files. in that file stned that vile they know the movie Yes.
00:34:46
Speaker
I fuck them regularly. Yeah. yeah And then I also got a couple of comic books as well. Hell yeah. cops I have The Walking Dead, like, of kind of, compendiums, whatever books. Yeah, I know what you're trying to say.
00:35:04
Speaker
compendiums. and um i had I have V for Vendetta's um graphic novel. I have Dark Knight.
00:35:18
Speaker
Nice. Frank Miller's I have. Yeah, Frank Miller almost discussed Batman Run period. I also have the movie, which is interesting because the animated movie goes page for page.
00:35:34
Speaker
Like, you can go ahead and open up the comic book, and while you're reading the comic book, what song will be happening in the book happens in the animated series. It's really good. I like that.
00:35:45
Speaker
I also have The Watchmen. i have The Watchmen. And I have that on blurry with the ah why was it the black frigate edition that comes with it cut into it, which is pretty good. Did I save you for Vendetta? I think I did. i also had i also have the Avengers Infinity Gauntlet series.
00:36:16
Speaker
which goes ahead and gets the the stones, the Infinity Gauntlet, and then there's Infinity War. Infinity Saga. can imagine yeah yeah The books run was a lot more deep and involved, but it wasn't as good, I don't think, as what they put on on film, personally.
00:36:33
Speaker
It really wasn't. there's a I mean, you get the you get the goblins coming to Earth, and it it becomes very convoluted, because you got about, like... You got about, like...
00:36:47
Speaker
Oh my gosh, you have to have at least 100 different like characters yeah this is to go ahead and put it into one thing.
00:36:59
Speaker
The books and nerf the Infinity Stones a lot. yeah They're not nearly as powerful as they are in the actual films. i like i just like I do like the story oh the comic books of why Thanos does it, though. I like that he's trying to go ahead and impress death.
00:37:17
Speaker
You know what I mean? So like that's why he's going ahead and trying to kill half the Earth is because he's trying to like fill up her coffers, basically.
Society and Humor Observations
00:37:26
Speaker
And I think that it would be funny if they did that in movies because now they have Deadpool.
00:37:32
Speaker
And they have set up Deadpool's girl to go ahead and be dead. So it'd be funny that not only is Thanos dead now, but his girl that he was going for gets snagged by fucking Deadpool he's fucking rooting around doing whatever. i just think that that would be a funny.
00:37:50
Speaker
That is funny. Right? Like, imagine that. Wouldn't that be an interesting... that i don't know. I think that'd be funny. Well, it's too late now. They already made the Infinity Stone movie.
00:38:03
Speaker
It also says you can't make like a little spin-off. Oh, yeah. had Deadpool's in a different universe. Do the whole ah spoof thing. yeah There you go. I don't have time. I don't have time for that. I'm too lazy. I'm already writing a book. name You want me to go ahead and write an MCU as well now? Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah.
00:38:30
Speaker
I have ADHD, but not even freaking...
00:38:36
Speaker
I'd have to say so much Adderall. Too many actors, too many characters, just too much happening. They couldn't do it original. There's no way. They need 12 movies.
00:38:47
Speaker
Oh, dude. they I mean... Like, you I mean, you'd have to, you'd have to set up, I mean, even Civil War in general had so much more of a buildup than just one movie. I mean, Civil War could literally been three movies in itself if you did it.
00:39:05
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. So... i right so I mean, like freaking Spider-Man. Spider-Man gets the Iron Spider suit during Infinity War, not like three movies after and shit like that. And that and then like what's interesting is I think Spider-Man is on Captain America's team.
00:39:25
Speaker
So captain of iron Iron Man and Spider-Man actually battle each other. And since he's in the Iron Spider suit, Iron Man actually gets the Spider-Sense. So they're able to go ahead and...
00:39:38
Speaker
fight each other and iron man actually has the over upper hand over iron man because he can go ahead and outreact whatever spider-man's on do because of the programming or whatever no one fucking cares you're right you're right have some spider-man um right things too comics but yeah here's my the second one they're freaking huge the walking dead ones walking dead ones yeah Well, walking the bike goes way off of the storyline. yeah The second that the girl gets lost is basically into the woods just like the girl did.
00:40:16
Speaker
It is very different to the show, for sure. Apparently someone did care. Shaman wants to know, jarvis did Jarvis link the Spidey's in? No, no. Iron Man was just able to go ahead and look into Spider-Man's like protocols of what he was doing with the suit and was they able to go ahead and see what Spider-Man was going to do.
00:40:39
Speaker
And then, you know, Iron Man would be able to react to what was... I guess it would be Jarvis that was telling him. I don't think Jarvis was actually a thing in the comic books, though.
00:40:52
Speaker
think the dreadful of like jarvis was he like there might have been dude there but i don't think that was as a interesting as like an actual like what's it called like sent one yeah i think it was like an actual person wasn't it like not computer dude words are hard i'm just high ah
00:41:23
Speaker
That's what's up.
00:41:26
Speaker
I'm off work, dude. I'm off work. I don't got nothing to do. I can smoke weed and drink alcohol for the next eight hours and then get eight hours in sleep. That's what I get for my freaking 14 hours off work.
00:41:38
Speaker
Woo hoo. You do you boo. You know, you gotta, you gotta go ahead and live your life. Enjoy it as you can.
00:41:49
Speaker
You know, you only got so much of it. You know, you gotta go ahead and pay the bills. You gotta do the work. You also gotta go ahead and come home and be able to let loose.
00:42:02
Speaker
Kill enough brains that you forget about what you had to deal with at work. You know. It helps. Hi, Heidi.
00:42:10
Speaker
Hi, Heidi.
00:42:16
Speaker
a You go ahead and pet your floof. Can you see the Heidi floof? She's black, so she probably won't come up because of it anyway.
00:42:32
Speaker
Well, you also, like, froze. Oh, did I hear this? is What happened? I unplugged my charger.
00:42:41
Speaker
I unplugged my charger. I have an all-black cat with... Oh, wait. So is Michael. with a white spot right here laying on my the edge of my bed. His name's Lightning. He's not mine, but he's chilling.
00:42:56
Speaker
Lightning. Yeah. Who is he? Like grease lightning? Oh, no, that was red and white. Lightning? I don't She might be. It was my housemate's daughter's. She wasn't able to take it with her when she moved with her hubby.
00:43:15
Speaker
Oh, that's unfortunate. Where'd they move to? Anywhere fun? and Just near here. I'm in Pennsylvania currently. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
00:43:26
Speaker
That's where I am. Unfortunately. PA's not too bad. I'm from Maryland. I'm, like, right across the border, pretty much. Oh, you're from Maryland. That means you're a Ravens fan, huh?
00:43:41
Speaker
Ha ha ha ha ha. Are you really? Why? You guys are terrible this year. You're getting beat by the Browns. Do you even understand that right now? We just got our boy back. We just got our boy back.
00:43:59
Speaker
We just got our boy back, okay? Do you know Copenhaver's team is beating you right now? Do you even understand that? know. don't give fuck. I'm loyal. And I also like people who do, though, which makes no sense.
00:44:12
Speaker
I'm an Eagles fan. What? Recharge what? Why do we... Oh, because my computer is so old that it has to constantly be on the charge, so I have to... oh that's what happens when you keep it on the charger for too long.
00:44:29
Speaker
Oh, no. This thing is just, like, 42 years old, dude. That's all. I got this, like... I got this from a homeless man. Had to go ahead and murder him out in the street for it, so...
00:44:41
Speaker
Allegedly. Oh, no, I totally did it. Nobody cares. He deserved it. He didn't deserve it. He was a homeless man. Nobody wants him there. If you find any broken TVs or couches and shit like that, my family will pick that shit up and we'll shoot the fuck out of it.
00:45:04
Speaker
Well, it depends on what type of TV. Because see, the thing is, as i used to spend I used to make a lot of money, like legit. I kind of like live in an area where it's not like rich or anything, but like there's definitely rich folks around. And like early on in flat screen TVs...
00:45:25
Speaker
You used to, so there was this thing where somebody robbed the blueprints to like these capacitors, right? But they robbed the wrong blueprints. So they made a bunch of these capacitors that were shitty and put them into TVs, right?
00:45:41
Speaker
So the thing was, was whenever those TVs went to market, They started going ahead and blowing those capacitors because they were made improperly. So you could go ahead and pop the back off of these flat screen TVs and get this like 10 cent capacitor, toss it in there, and then you could resell this TV for $600. Because at that time, TVs were still like $1,200, you know? No, we do the big, giant, old ones that have no life left.
00:46:16
Speaker
Oh, you mean the full screen ones, dude? Like with the catheter? Yeah. Yeah, dude, those ones are the best ones to shoot because they go... They're fun. Because where they live, it's down on the eastern shore in Maryland. And it's like in bumfuck Egypt. So, like, we come across a lot of shit that people Oh, I know about it....just letting...
00:46:38
Speaker
their stuff out. I'm BF EPA. I understand. You know, we've had our couch burnings. We know how to do it. you got You find yourself an empty field somewhere, you burn yourself a couch, and you get yourself a keg. That's like us at 15 years old, dude.
00:46:56
Speaker
Shorebillies. That's my family right there, and there's like 70 of us. Shorebillies. There go. Shorebillies. Bunch of crab walkers out there. That's where I'm going for Thanksgiving.
00:47:09
Speaker
That sounds fun
00:47:13
Speaker
fun. They all started having children and everything, so it's like not as dangerous, but we let the children shoot the records at us. Children always ruin it, man. It was like, oh, all we had so much fun, and then everybody had kids. So I'm a good uncle.
00:47:33
Speaker
I go ahead and cause the problems. I am the whole problem, dude. Thanks. Once they shit themselves, throw up, cry. Here you go. Oh, I don't even get that far.
00:47:46
Speaker
You know? Normally, they're off going ahead and, you know, i got them some toy or something like that that makes a lot of noise. You know? Or I got them some type of goo or something that's going to get everywhere. Like some squishy?
00:48:02
Speaker
Yeah, just whatever's going to get them in trouble. Something that makes a lot of noise. Exactly. my manuscript Same shit. i'm Like noisemakers. She was all my children. My sister got me a back a bunch of times over that shit.
00:48:16
Speaker
Yep. You gotta just go ahead and snip them, man. Then you don't have to worry about it You got them snipped. You're lucky. You have kids already. You're allowed to do that shit. Had to. Figured out what was causing it. Gotta fix.
00:48:30
Speaker
Your kids are dope, though. Yeah, your kids are dope. I've met both of them. Me Right? You have two, right? Dude, I met you for a second at the wedding. Like, split second. Yeah, you did. He said that I had nice shoes, and I said, why, thank you. cleaned them today.
00:48:51
Speaker
I did clean them that day. I did. He's so proud of himself. Dude, I walked in there, right, dude? Copenhaver, you'll love this. So I walk in there.
00:49:04
Speaker
And mom's looking over me. She's like, you got your suit all done up. you're all You got it ironed and everything. I'm like, well, you ironed it. she's just like, I know, but it's like you don't have any dog hair on you. I'm like, mom, I went ahead and moisturized my face. I shaved my eyebrows.
00:49:21
Speaker
like I went ahead and did it. she's like, what are you, a woman? she's like, No, I said I contoured my beard. like I was going through everything I did for his his wedding. Weren't you right next to me during that? I think I laughed about that, to be honest.
00:49:39
Speaker
My mom's... my mom's i mean She likes to go ahead and blame my dad for who I am, but my mom went to ahead and had some... Is that what you're saying to me? I mean, the sarcasm definitely does.
Humor, Intelligence, and Creativity
00:49:55
Speaker
Sarcasm. I mean, that's humor. That's the type of humor, I think. and Yeah, your mom's a trisker. Depends on how you use it. I mean, sometimes it can be, you know. Rude.
00:50:10
Speaker
Anger-inducing, I was going to say. Yeah. I mean, that too. There are different levels of sarcasm. I've never thought of that. Yeah. whoa smoke some more they said i will about this nice little thing here this mod little guy
00:50:32
Speaker
oh nice it's nice those make me sleepy though and i'm yeah super fucking broke right now so i get them for like 20 bucks dude it's dope ADHD, squirrels. Wait, huh? do you is it It's not even legal up there, right?
00:50:52
Speaker
Ass. Sorry, i have Tourette's, by the way. you didn't know this. I do know that. Okay, cool, cool, cool. We found that out last time because I forget what you were saying, but it was real funny. i like i dig folks with Tourette's because it's just like out of nowhere, just...
00:51:10
Speaker
hu complete obscenity can come over of nowhere. Now, see, the thing is, is like i' kind of I don't know. I have i wouldn't say like I have Tourette's or anything, but there's definitely like times when I'm alone where I'll just go ahead and like have little tics and stuff like that.
00:51:28
Speaker
i don't know. There's things that don't know. I don't We're talking about it. I can feel it. I can just feel it. And Glick, okay, for the road. It is involved in me.
00:51:41
Speaker
Fuck ass. Yeah, those are my, yeah. Ass, ass, ass one of them. And then, uh, fuck off. Actually, I didn't even mean to do that.
00:51:53
Speaker
and yeah What are you, do you have triggers or is it just, uh, talking about it does make it, uh, come out more, um, uh, um, but obviously anxiety, anxiety.
00:52:09
Speaker
anxiety Yeah. yeah yeah Talking about is obviously going and go ahead and like give you a direct line. Right. And you know what motherfucking Glick? He says during ass, not during ass. um During ass, yep.
00:52:26
Speaker
During the roast that he's going to try and trigger my tics just so I can't fucking roast him. Fucking prick. He's such a dick. Yeah, well.
00:52:41
Speaker
He said he won't do it during the stand-up, though. There you go. so the roast is happening during the show as well, right? No, no, no. It's after.
00:52:52
Speaker
Well, yeah, yeah. we're We're on a... Well, I mean, the show's first, and then we're on a go-ahead and do the roast, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, we're not on do-the-roast. I'm not really much of a roast guy. Right. Didn't do no Glick that well either, so... i Oh, it's I thought it was for Copenhagen, but it's for Glick. No, no, it's for Glick.
00:53:10
Speaker
Oh, okay. Well, I mean, I know of him. We've definitely met. He seems like a very nice guy. You know what I mean? I probably wouldn't have anything mean to say about the guy, so I'd be terrible at the rest. I'd be sitting there like, hey, man, you're a great dude. That's what would make it funny. Yeah, just be like, hey, man, I don't know why these people are being such nasty. I think you're a great guy. You had me on your podcast.
00:53:33
Speaker
I had a great time. Yeah, boy. hu I'm out. it is dad he he says that he's gonna just pull the cord of the microphone and say all the jokes that we already have in our head because he already knows all of them yeah that's how basic meathead he is that's why click but i came up with some new ones okay i'm not gonna say it i'm not gonna say it what's up what's up copenhayver
00:54:06
Speaker
what's up cop andav I'm looking for something that I don't have. You're looking for something you don't have? Your brain.
00:54:18
Speaker
walk No leaves. it's It's floating in that little tube behind you. That's where your brain is. Shit. No trees.
00:54:30
Speaker
so the my key i got trees. of trees.
00:54:35
Speaker
you wrap plenty agree we're we're We're over here in Eastern America, dude. There's plenty of trees out here. We're
00:54:48
Speaker
where will will we're about to have a bunch of Christmas trees here soon, dude. Yeah, dude. I just put some up last night with my old pot dealer. I do not put up Christmas trees. I don't put up any decorations. People like, Tyler, why don't you put up decorations? I'm like, I don't even put on lights in the room I'm standing in unless it's a safety issue.
00:55:11
Speaker
And that was not always the case. Just like now I wear clothes when I cook bacon. You learned your lesson. i really broke what up I live in a basement that gets dark down here I don't have a lot of lamps.
00:55:29
Speaker
i like And I like lights. This isn't even for holidays. This is for me. Infotfinders.com The TV is enough light.
00:55:40
Speaker
You know what I mean? And whatever I'm looking at is normally on the TV anyways. If it's not on the TV, then it's on my cell phone and it's lighted. Lit. Not lighted. Take it out of here. I was in the special classes. I'm not afraid to admit it.
00:55:56
Speaker
I ran in the Special Olympics for the autistics. We were like the Jamaicans of the Special Olympics. No one could beat this. We all found each other. That's crazy. Yeah. um The autistic kids. That's what they're doing. That's what they're doing, man. They're like, all these autistics are going to start their own podcasts and everything. And then RFK is going to come and take them all out.
00:56:20
Speaker
All right. All the meatheads and wee tads.
00:56:25
Speaker
Sorry, too far. said it with a W, okay? What do you call a retarded artist? Autistic?
00:56:39
Speaker
Is that me? Fuck. That's all my favorite jokes. Can't say it anymore because people are offended at retard. i don't know. but then it's it's like autism autism was autism or osbergers you know that was like the two spectrums and then all of a sudden about him a diver and you know now it's like people that i do have like autism
00:57:10
Speaker
like A lot of times, they don't get mad at the retard word. They're like, well that's what I am. Whatever, as long as you use it in the right context. i Some of them might, some of them don't. My thing is, is like I understand why people get bummed out about words being used like to degrade someone and stuff like that. But the thing is, is like going ahead and relabeling something that already is isn't helping the situation. It's just going ahead and giving them another term to use. like Before you know it, retards want to become neurodivergent.
00:57:50
Speaker
You're neurodivergent! Alright, we gotta stop saying the word. like I'm just saying. like it is no and is those will tell you I never worry about offending them because they don't write letters.
00:58:02
Speaker
Huh? We're gonna get cancel i i was kind of was going worry about offending them because they don't write letters. They can't. They don't know your address. Have you told them your address? you're an idiot if you have. You can't tell them where you live. That's how the government gets you. That's I get black bagged, Michael Copenever. That's how get black bagged.
00:58:24
Speaker
Have you never seen V4Rendotto, dude? Yes, love it. Or not by area. We do have a tense of cancer in our hands. Anyway, that's not what we're talking about.
00:58:37
Speaker
my
00:58:39
Speaker
Where does your sense of humor come from, your mom? oh yesless I don't know, man. I mean, it just comes... It's a necessity to stop the people in most cases.
00:58:52
Speaker
I just... My family's just a bunch of goofballs. Like my my grand... Okay, so I'll tell you, one of them is definitely my grandfather.
00:59:02
Speaker
an early conversation with him was... I was at a fair and I was setting stuff down while he was setting up his little booth and everything.
00:59:15
Speaker
And he was sitting there talking talking to these, don't know, maybe 18 year old girls or something like that. He's 57 anyways. And i was like, Hey, grandpap, where do you want me to put these?
00:59:28
Speaker
And he says, and the girls are like grandpap. And he was like, No, no, Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan Tyler. And I said, OK, Uncle Dan, where do you want these?
00:59:40
Speaker
So like, that's my grandfather. He's just been like an old pervert goofball. You know, that's what you're aspiring to be. That's not what I'm aspiring to do to be, but definitely the absurdity of living with that type of person gives you a bunch of material, you know? For sure.
01:00:02
Speaker
So, like, the thing is, my comedy, you don't always say what's right, but you always say the funny thing. Like, that's my comedy style.
01:00:14
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's what comedy is. You say the funny shit. Woo! Not really. like A lot of people like their ah applause breaks. You know, people people think that are through that... How do you work through that?
01:00:29
Speaker
The applause breaks. The applause breaks? Well, I don't get them, so I don't know. um Yes, you do. I've watched some of your stuff already.
01:00:41
Speaker
Well, I mean... I wouldn't say get applause breaks, but are you asking like how you keep your timing? Like you yeah basically just have to get used to paying. it So at some point when you're on stage, you have to become comfortable enough with your stuff and yourself and your material to to where it's not a comedy set anymore. You're actually having a conversation with the crowd.
01:01:09
Speaker
to where And what I mean like conversation with the crowd, I don't mean like you and the crowd are literally talking back and forth, but you're going ahead and putting things out there and then you got wait for their response whenever this response is needed. Like you'll go ahead and ask someone a question in conversation, and sit there and wait for their response, go back and forth while the response last. Yeah.
01:01:34
Speaker
So you wait for the laugh, you wait for their response to end, and then you go ahead and continue the conversation. But you don't you don't do any crowd work or anything like that? um i I don't do much crowd work. If the opportunity arises to where I have something in the moment I can say, i will say it. get that. Yeah, that's fine.
01:02:00
Speaker
The thing is, is like even if I am doing crowd work... After it's been crowd work, it normally becomes a part of the bit if I can make it a part of the bit. Yeah. um i know um I'm normally doing all source material.
01:02:18
Speaker
And i mean, I can do things that crowd work like, like ask questions the crowd and get. It's like a yes or no thing. And then yeah get back to your shit. That's yeah.
01:02:32
Speaker
Everything I do is planned. Yeah. There's a method all my madness. That's what I've been doing lately with like the New York's Eve thing. Well, I'm going to try and do it at other places soon. um But yeah, I've been shaving off some stuff that I feel like are unnecessary to the stories of my comedy. Trying to i'm trying to get it.
01:03:02
Speaker
I'm trying to get it. Michael, you're getting good at that. You're practicing.
01:03:08
Speaker
and you know you You definitely got to do that. ah Comedy is a lot about word management and getting it down, getting straight to the point. Right.
01:03:20
Speaker
right early on one of my biggest things was going ahead and making sure that there was a punch line every three lines you know if i went three lines rating wise without a punch line right then it's probably joke right if you talk too much and there's not enough funny in there then it's just you're telling a story and they're bored Well, I mean, you can't, I mean, it depends on what you want to be. I mean, the the best way to go ahead and get noticed, especially early on, is about your laughs per minute.
01:03:57
Speaker
I mean, they're just trying to go ahead and see who's going ahead and getting the most laughs regularly. Like, so the least amount of time you're sitting there rambling on about who Jimmy is and what Jimmy was doing and how you know Jimmy. Killer hair Jimmy, Yeah, way way would type what what type of hair he had and the hat he had on and what outfit he was wearing.
01:04:22
Speaker
Nobody gives a shit about Jimmy. Tell us about what was funny. You know what I mean? cutting all that stuff down makes it a lot. Yeah, that's what I've been doing.
01:04:33
Speaker
yeah I mean, you really just gotta put your time What's up? Trim the fat. If it's not funny, it's fat. Trim the fat. That's what I wrote down on my paper. i said trim the fat. Trimming the fat. It's all about working your material and getting your minutes tight.
01:04:52
Speaker
But, I mean, just because you got stuff in there, like, especially later on in your career, like, I would say you definitely got to cut things down.
01:05:03
Speaker
But if you got, like, serious things that you want to talk about, don't just go ahead and let them disappear. go ahead and put them in, like, I don't know. I have a trash list. Like, I have my material list.
01:05:17
Speaker
And I have my trash material list. I should start doing that I'm going to cut out that is like, don't know, maybe this could be a sketch or something or something like it said in a script or in a book or something. I go ahead and put it in there because then it's like, hey, I'm looking for just something.
01:05:37
Speaker
You know, there's some bad comic on stage in this comedy I'm writing, you know, or this movie I'm writing. Let's go ahead and find a joke from the telling on stage.
01:05:48
Speaker
Oh, there's a terrible one. Boom. And then there you go. And then your terrible joke just made money. There you go. so Yeah, I have just a bad ADHD, so I like trail off on my story sometimes. I'm like, oh yeah, this also happened. Wait, no, I need to fucking stop doing that. Tell me about it. I mean, it takes time.
01:06:12
Speaker
How long have you been doing comedy? Well, I only did, like I did improv classes for a little while, and then I did books three, like open mic things, but they were small little things. It was crazy.
01:06:26
Speaker
it all It all counts, dude. So I'm coming back to it. I'm getting back to it. It's not like I'm doing anything special. You'll see me in a bar where nobody knows my name and everybody's watching the Steelers game.
01:06:42
Speaker
Ew. it's all you know It's all relative, dude. you know Eventually things will work out. some you know One day you're sitting there in Vegas on a huge stage and the next day you're...
01:06:56
Speaker
Not even on the stage. You're just in the corner of a bar telling jokes. you know Speaking of Vegas, yeah we also have Robert Coleman joining us New Year's Eve. Oh.
01:07:12
Speaker
In Florida, Ohio. That's right. 2025 winner of the World Series of Calum, a good friend of mine. He went all the way to Vegas and did the whole thing and brought home the gold.
01:07:22
Speaker
Absolutely. he's He's been killing it. he I mean, last time I talked to him, I think it it was at Ryan Weiss's birthday. And he was sitting there. He's like, right now, all I'm trying to do is go to every funny farm. I just want to go ahead and get on stage at every funny farm.
01:07:40
Speaker
And he went ahead and did that. Then he went off to go ahead and do the World Series of Comedy. And all that work he's been doing has obviously paid off because... you know one being it's It's not only one of the biggest It the biggest Comedy competition Touring comedy competition in the country In the world Like seriously like so yeah It literally says World Series of Comedy No dude it's legit Which is a big deal They get AGT in there You know I'm honored to be a part of it
01:08:18
Speaker
i am honoured to be a part of it but Part of like the the thing on the year's eve next to him. That's fucking awesome. Michael, whatever.
01:08:31
Speaker
Well, you should film your set and send it off to World Series and Comedy. Maybe you go ahead. and I still have to film myself and send it off to Michael and others to trim some more fat, maybe. It takes time, dude. It takes time.
01:08:48
Speaker
You know I've been i' just working on it. You want to face in front of people and work your minutes. Huh? Yeah, yeah. You got to face in front of people to work those minutes.
01:08:59
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I'm not afraid to talk in front of people and stuff like that. Like, I've done theater and I've done all that shit and I've... But the comedy thing is like that a different realm of being in front of people.
01:09:17
Speaker
It's all you. you have no You have nobody to go ahead and stand behind. There's nobody to blame. It's just you up there by yourself. An open wound.
01:09:30
Speaker
I am an open wound.
01:09:37
Speaker
That's what stand-up is, man. You go up there and You just bullshit about shitty stuff. I don't know. It's not about ahead and having a great time. You're definitely beating a goofball, but nobody likes to go ahead and sit up there. Yeah, you know, today I went ahead and won $100 million. dollars ah Somebody gave me keys to a sports car and a supermodel gave me a blowjob. Nobody's laughing me.
01:10:04
Speaker
Well, they do just because they want to blow them. Yeah? for the money and the cars and everything else they're not really funny sowa the oldest profession yeah exactly prostitution you don't know the o yeah i was about to say that's the oldest profession it's prostitution i wouldn't doubt it dude i mean they started going ahead true they is it is it really mean
01:10:40
Speaker
It doesn't surprise me. they They started giving monkeys currency and stuff like that. And the first thing the women started doing was going ahead and having the monkey having sex. Yeah.
01:10:51
Speaker
They started having sex. but The female monkeys started to having sex for for the male monkeys money. And then they would go ahead and buy food for their children. I'm not even joking, dude. You can look it up. I don't want that on my Google search, man. I'm just saying, dude.
01:11:10
Speaker
It's crazy. My algorithm is already fucked as is. That's not even as crazy as the stuff that they did with the mice, dude. Here we go. All right. Go ahead and tell us what they did with the mice. Well, they went ahead and created a whole entire society for mice and stuff like that and kept ah expanding it by one mouse over time. And every single time that they got to, I forget what number it was. It was like 43 mice in a compact space or something like that.
01:11:41
Speaker
It created and anarchy. Like at the moment that that one got introduced, it was like 43 mice. just go ahead just an odd It's an odd number. Well, know if it was 43. It could have been 42. What if it's an even number?
01:11:58
Speaker
Let me close your mind. um Or what if it's zero? Is that an even or an odd number? I don't want any fucking rats anyway. So yeah, fuck off. Maybe it's negative 20.
01:12:08
Speaker
You don't know? I'm not a facts guy. I'm just a hurt. I heard this one time on Facebook kind of guy.
01:12:23
Speaker
That's one of my favorite things to see. You've got Google at your disposal. Everybody's got a freaking smartphone these days. Yet you'll see people going go on Facebook.
01:12:34
Speaker
Hey, what's what's the answer this? That's the worst place to go. that's they're just is that They're looking for attention. Yeah. yeah i understand I did that the other day when my buddy was looking for a cat.
01:12:54
Speaker
Yeah. cause I'm dumb. I try to stay off my phone as much as possible. It's depressing. The world is depressing. The only time I'm on it is like in the middle of the night. Michael will tell you. i randomly message him sometimes in the middle of the night sometimes about my jokes.
01:13:16
Speaker
I just like i lay here at like three in the morning just thinking about my bit and like thinking about hey Robert Platinum. What up, dude? Yeah, I just lay here and I just think about jokes. And I'll go on my phone and I go in the notes section and I just type them all down.
01:13:33
Speaker
And lately I've been trying to, like, filter through them. Yeah. It takes time, dude. I understand exactly what you're talking about. i've been i've been using Google Docs for my notes lately.
01:13:48
Speaker
For the past six years, and I go through it once a year and just trim everything up, add things in. Do you do callbacks and stuff like that?
01:13:58
Speaker
I try to as much as possible. you know it's um Callbacks are nice because it's basically like an inside joke with the people there. So you're kind of like building community with every...
01:14:12
Speaker
callback that you have. So it's like if you get a little bit into the weeds and you lose a bit of the crowd, there's always a nice thing with a callback to where it brings everybody like communitively back on track with you.
01:14:30
Speaker
Because they all have, it's like a community joke. Everybody likes to be on the inside of the joke. Yeah. I like, i don't know why i keep doing this every week.
01:14:42
Speaker
I like getting the crowd interwebbed with the joke. Yeah. I don't know. Well, that's what you're supposed to do. Bringing it back.
01:14:53
Speaker
And I'll be like, oh, yeah, you said that before. That shit's funny as fuck. It is nice. Get two laughs off one joke. Yeah, as long as the first one was funny, then you kind of have to, like,
01:15:11
Speaker
maybe change things up. I never think that far ahead. Maybe the callback will make that first joke funny also. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like if it bombs or whatever and then that bit in the future bombs again and then you say, okay, well, and then nail that other terrible fucking punchline.
01:15:32
Speaker
My fucking sock is crooked and it's bugging the fuck out of me. I'm sorry. Wow. I was talking to this lady on the internet, right?
01:15:44
Speaker
And we were talking about our interests and she said she liked to collect ah like character socks. I said, I would like to do that. But the thing is, is my feet are too big. And she says that they're one size fits all.
01:16:00
Speaker
ah Like, what are you talking about? I'm like, see, that's the thing. my That's the one appendage on my body that is bigger than average. Right. And she says, but they stretch. It's okay. It'll fit anyone. And I'm like, there's a difference between wearing socks with Pikachu on it and socks that make it look like Pikachu has diabetes. You know?
01:16:23
Speaker
Are they there from the insane asylum? Because those are all one size fit all. Those ones are nice with the rubber feets on them. Yeah. I steal those from my ex-girlfriends.
01:16:37
Speaker
That's cool. but Me too. not even
01:16:43
Speaker
of kidding. yeah hit I mean, the fact that I know about them knows that that's not entirely. i know. you know. Okay. We can't. I've never been in an insane asylum, but I've definitely, I definitely know a couple of people with them. So I can't talk about this anymore. Cause it's really, you brought it up.
01:17:06
Speaker
I know it's funny in some this is a week marks, but it's funny, not funny in other points.
01:17:16
Speaker
Okay. All women have those socks? No, I did not say that. That is definitely a sexist. That's where it gets offensive. Shaman said it. Shaman says all women have those socks.
01:17:29
Speaker
Oh, well, that's our that's our audience. So they're allowed to say that. The translation is bitches be crazy.
01:17:40
Speaker
Actually, see, how's this thing going? It's like, it's like, it's like When they say all ugly women are crazy, but not all crazy women are ugly.
01:17:55
Speaker
I swear I've heard that somewhere. don't know. Probably in your mind. In my mind, no. but My mind has way different things going on with it. Like,
01:18:12
Speaker
Okay. like so good that Something that's like seriously on my mind regularly when I go to bed is like what if you could go ahead and pull out the veins of a carrot perfectly? You should pull out.
01:18:26
Speaker
No, no. what if you can pull out the veins of a carrot perfectly? like You know what I mean? like There's a core of a carrot. like If you get a baby carrot, it cracks in middle. Why? Why? I don't know.
01:18:38
Speaker
I just think that'd be cool to have the veins of a carrot. and Like, what would that look like? And then adversely, what would a carrot look like if you could perfectly take out the veins of a carrot? You do it and then you put it on your face. That's what your beard is, right? It's the carrot veins.
01:18:55
Speaker
No, this is just a red beard. This is, this is called dead protein. See, the thing is, red beard at one point, I ate like protein or something and then it digested and then like that used protein comes out of my face and my head.
01:19:16
Speaker
And that's how you get things like hair. not from Not from corn, but not from carrots. But you know what's interesting about carrots is if you eat a lot of carrots, you actually get good night vision, which is pretty nice. You're like, I have protein.
Humorous Anecdotes and Encounters
01:19:33
Speaker
ah do have protein. I have protein regularly. I live gyms all the time. survive one. gives himself facials all the time. No.
01:19:46
Speaker
Only on the weekends. You said protein.
01:19:51
Speaker
No, but well, I mean, I have protein. I only give myself facials on the weekend. I'm sorry, Mike. Monday through Friday, I go ahead and take it right down the gullet. That's how I get my protein, obviously. Jeez, oh man. All right.
01:20:06
Speaker
She brought Hey, Sue. uncomfortably hey sue Hi.
01:20:20
Speaker
Howdy, Sue. was the honeymoon? You'll have to ask my husband for the video. Oh, yeah? There's a video. do i I love how she added the after.
01:20:36
Speaker
Oh, there's multiple. Look at that, though. Look
01:20:45
Speaker
it. He's saying, screw you, Chevy.
01:20:48
Speaker
That's right, bear. Chevy sucks.
01:20:54
Speaker
Get in there. What's in there?
01:21:00
Speaker
Do you smell something yummy?
01:21:04
Speaker
Are there sandwiches? Oh, cake? Hi!
01:21:13
Speaker
Look how big. Oh, get him!
01:21:32
Speaker
Oh, are there sandwiches in Is that cake? She's so cute.
01:21:38
Speaker
We had two margaritas at dinner. We had two margaritas at dinner that night. And we saw the bear on our way out of dinner. We went on the goddamn nature drive three times. We saw one bear for about 14 seconds.
01:21:52
Speaker
That was her dream. We were in Gatlinburg about three times, and we saw that bear for several minutes. And it was just natural habitat, jacking up trucks. it cant Sue spotted it walking out of a goddamn parking garage.
01:22:05
Speaker
ah does And she was so cute about it. It was like Winnie the fucking- She was in heaven. She was in heaven, that's for sure. yeah Very, very, very- Is that a sandwich?
01:22:22
Speaker
Oh, is that a cake? Was there plan to go ahead and at least see a ah bear while you were down there? zo you i believe she wanted to see a bear, yeah. But like they just watched that bear destroy the fuck out of that truck. Dude, I'm telling you, that dude's so cute.
01:22:44
Speaker
we didn't just watch if you've listened closely in the background you hear me googling for information about where we were to try to call the front desk or something but all the hell yeah i wasn't yeah she was videotaping i was actually trying to do something about the situation proactively there's not really anything you can do at that point dude like they are They tell you not to put food in your vehicle for that reason, dude. Like, no, I'm serious. Hang it up in a tree. They probably had gum in there. Like, that's all it takes is a frickin' stick of gum, and that bear is getting in your car, dude. We were in the mountains, and we never left any food in even the vehicle.
01:23:36
Speaker
Rubber Platinum. Punning it up. He's pretty punning thought you guys are had a great time. It was unbearable to watch. I just love that. Took me like a full 10 seconds to go ahead what this?
01:23:53
Speaker
I just got it out of the face of it. Jesus. Robert Blackman. Should have hashtagged it, bro.
01:24:06
Speaker
Bears love the juicy fruit. They do, dude.
01:24:11
Speaker
Was that a gay joke?
01:24:15
Speaker
I don't know. Was it a gay joke? I think that you should go ahead and make it a honey pun. Is there is there like a honey gum? Is there any gum that's honey flavored? Peach and honey. made lo oh I remember that, dude.
01:24:33
Speaker
Wasn't that what we were doing for the wow That was one of our advertisers for the old sketches. Peach and Honey. That's right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You should do that. That's right. I was like, I know this from somewhere.
01:24:48
Speaker
You sent that to me. Peach and Honey. That's funny. The big spots were what goes in your butt. Yes, absolutely. What goes in your butt? You guys look like you had a lot of fun with that.
01:25:06
Speaker
aye You guys look like you had a lot of fun with that. Oh, we had a lot of fun. Guys, I was not a part of that one. I was purely filming. I only had to deal with the smells that came out of that room. That's all I had to deal with.
01:25:24
Speaker
Oh, that's nice. the cameo crackhead. was a crackhead. The hookup, yeah. The great cameo was the crackhead. Oh, We did the Christmas sketches. We were the cocaine elf.
01:25:40
Speaker
I was the cocaine elf, yes. Speaking of um ah ah characters on socks, I'm bringing that back. I have Beavis and Butthead socks that I cannot fucking find.
01:25:52
Speaker
And it's pissing me off. Beavis and socks. Do you like Beavis and Butthead? Yeah, yeah. ah You notice how your voice went up a little bit when you said that?
01:26:05
Speaker
I mean, I... it's You're not being entirely truthful. I wouldn't have socks. That is a quote from a movie. Do you know what that is from? Say it again.
01:26:19
Speaker
Say it again. Your voice went up a little bit when you said that. That means you're not being entirely truthful. Hmm. I'm not sure. All right, I'll give you a hint. Meet the parents.
01:26:32
Speaker
Jason Segel. Jason Segel.
01:26:38
Speaker
I love you, man. Yeah! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I already that's we got good Yes. Yeah, you fucking dick. I haven't seen that movie in a while. You should have given Snotty a chance to figure it finger it out.
01:26:55
Speaker
figure No. Nope. I'm still trying to figure it out. You figured it out? I didn't hear you. I love you, man. I know. i was just kidding. Oh, you're fun.
01:27:08
Speaker
Michael Wilkinson almost went and just killed himself because he might be me. Did you see him there? He almost had enough of my ass. He's like, this fucking dickhead. I think it's both of us. Like, fucking with it.
01:27:26
Speaker
He's like, what am I getting? I'm just being a brilliant producer Watching you two enjoy each other's weird company. I don't know. I just went ahead and turned on the camera. You said, hey, come on the stream. I said, I'll come on the stream. I love hearing the sound of my own voice. I'm a good narcissist like that. um yeah war This is what it is. This is me on Wednesday. hope talk about comedy comedy because I wanted to want you to showcase what you will you do and what you talk about what you know.
01:28:00
Speaker
just because you're going on the New Year's Eve show, I kind of wanted to post use this for promotional materials, too. but um Well, I mean, we've talked to a little bit ah about comedy here, haven't we? Yeah, a little bit. We've talked more about bears.
01:28:14
Speaker
You sound like you belong Letterken. Who, me? Yeah. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't.
01:28:26
Speaker
Neither? I don't know. just Neither? I don't know. You sound like you play hockey. What's your favorite hockey team? Go. Pittsburgh Penguins. I am actually a Fuck you. Fuck I should have never asked. You can go fuck off. What are you even talking about? Who do you like?
01:28:48
Speaker
Maryland. The fucking champions. Well, i have two teams because I'm a Libra, whatever, Crisples and shit.
01:29:00
Speaker
um Caps and freaking motherfucking Flyers. What? move oxygen capitals What?
01:29:10
Speaker
Like, two of the worst names. You're like, oh, I just kind of like the Crappitals and the Phil Fidelity, uh, flyers over here. I'm not having this. The Caps. I would rather you like the Boston Bruins.
01:29:27
Speaker
Jesus Christ. Oh, no. Don't even. Your favorite NBA team is the Wizards. The Wizards? No, no, no. The Wizards and the Raptors. They're the Crapitals. I can't even believe you their name properly. They have oven chickens.
01:29:48
Speaker
They have ovens kicking? That's what I call them. Oh, a Vetskin. A Vetskin. We have Sid Crosby. We have freaking Geno. Okay, Crosby's good, but you... Whatever. Fuck off.
01:30:02
Speaker
And then we got two new boys on our team that finally sped up our freaking offense so it doesn't look like we're constantly short-handed. Mm-hmm. as That reminds me of Michael's joke with the kid that had half an arm.
01:30:19
Speaker
He's like, oh yeah, I could use a hand.
01:30:25
Speaker
I could use hand. Yeah, whatever he's doing. i know which one you're talking about when he's on the bus. here I don't know. This one may or may not be good. I'll send it to you, though.
01:30:37
Speaker
Yeah, let's see some of your shit. What is it?
Stand-up Comedy and Music Preferences
01:30:40
Speaker
It's me doing stand-up at the funny farm. It's probably just share your screen. play Oh, it's on my cellular device. It's not on.
01:30:49
Speaker
enough Way to go. first straight yard on your fucking phone like No, I'm on my laptop right now.
01:30:57
Speaker
This crap top. Oh, yeah. The the crap top. The old one. 1942.
01:31:07
Speaker
forty two
01:31:11
Speaker
I had snacks around here somewhere. I i can't find them. Oh, I am the snack. hu
01:31:21
Speaker
Shut up I would love that.
01:31:28
Speaker
Did you see my new penis sticker? Did I see your new penis sticker? I don't think I did.
01:31:42
Speaker
have hash and penis. Hash and penis? Hash and penis. Hash, hash and penis. Hash and penis. Hash, hash and penis. That is a nice, I mean, I wouldn't choose, I mean, hash is fine, but penis is fine. This is my vision board. My vision board.
01:32:08
Speaker
you know are anything's possible if you set your mind to it you know what I mean that's what they say ah ah anyways need to shut my mouth sometimes mean you know it's hard you know you have Tourette's and everything it's difficult I was talking about just trying to keep your mouth shut it was hard I mean, if you really want to know, it's not right now. It's pretty dormant right now.
01:32:42
Speaker
That's cool. Volcanoes are fun.
01:32:48
Speaker
I went to Ecuador once. they were twelve or thirteen folk us There there.
01:32:55
Speaker
I could see one from the window. All right, listen. Oh. Lee and Mary Jane is by looking at me. by looking at me I'm sure you all can tell I've hung out with the three sisters, Lucy, Molly, and Mary Jane, just by looking at me.
01:33:14
Speaker
so you know, I like a lot of EDM music. And I was at work, and I was jamming out. My co-worker said, hey Tyler, what are you listening to? And I said, EDM music. And she's like, oh, I don't like EDM music.
01:33:27
Speaker
And I said, why? And she's like, because you can't sing to it. And I'm like, well, you're not supposed to sing to it. You're supposed to dance to it. And she's like, oh, well, I can't dance.
01:33:39
Speaker
Folks, I was this close to saying, well, you can't sing either, Janice. Can't sing either. I am an asshole, just not that much of an asshole. Right?
01:33:51
Speaker
Like, i don't even know I'm doing it. Like, this one's on. i asked this chick, do you really think you should be wearing that? Right? Like, sure, I'm the asshole, but she's wearing ice skates at the rolling ring. All right. Come on.
01:34:07
Speaker
just saying, right? And this stuff happens to me all the time. Like i was talking this girl, right? We were out on date and she kept saying that her kids come first, the kids come first.
01:34:19
Speaker
And then we go back to her place. She introduces me to her kids and she says, Hey, I'll be right back. Right. Well, when she comes back, I'm jerking off her kids. Right. Oh God. I'm like, why you send the kids to the person?
01:34:32
Speaker
I'm just getting it out of the way.
01:34:36
Speaker
No, I'm the asshole. I'm getting kicked out the fucking house. Didn't get laid that night. Got cum all over me though. I didn't want that. Something scary to me the other day. I thought I was having sex with a transgender, right?
01:34:52
Speaker
Turns out was just a fat guy long hair.
01:34:57
Speaker
He got me with his man boobs. You know what mean? I was manboozled. I was pissed off. I was like, you're a man. I got out of there. So fast dude. I'm pissed. That was false advertising. I don't know.
01:35:09
Speaker
What else we got? Speaking of kids, you know, when I was... Look at you. but kid's like, yeah!
01:35:20
Speaker
And the whale's jumping over him. love that movie. I found out that that whale was actually Mexican. Wow, that's crazy. But then I thought about it. If you want a whale...
01:35:34
Speaker
Well, it may as well be a Mexican whale, right? I get it. And topical. and topical ah so yeah I was saying the other day, you know, making your old squirt and giving her a cream pie means something completely different when you're dating a clown, right?
01:35:57
Speaker
That's why I primarily date clowns now. Because it augments my numbers. Like, I sound way more interesting now at parties. Like, check this out. I made my girlfriend squirt ten times in cream pie for five times.
01:36:11
Speaker
Way more interesting, right? And they love it just as much as I do. So, you know, I just keep on dating them. You know, it's fun. costs a lot on makeup, though. I'll tell you what. Can't get that shit support. They have to go online for It's a special thing.
01:36:26
Speaker
yeah But, you know, they give 50% Each honking nose with every purchase. And it's nice.
01:36:41
Speaker
I was just like, yeah, this joke is... Sometimes it's just for you. When how did we go?
01:36:55
Speaker
You're a champion. hope you liked it. I liked this direct. Do you really think you should wearing that? I want to re-watch that. Could you send that to me?
01:37:07
Speaker
Could you send that to me? Because I thought of something. yeah I can send you all types of stuff. Not like that. Don't be weirdo. I meant it not like that.
01:37:20
Speaker
i meant it not like at Actually, I can't. I don't think I have... you yep There you are. yeah i think kind i I can only share up to ten items. Okay. one dia I know. I've seen your stuff that you have on YouTube.
01:37:42
Speaker
Just so i I know. I don't really have much... The land. And who I'm dealing with. I don't really... I
01:37:53
Speaker
don't really have much... out and about on Facebook just yet. I've been collecting material everywhere I go, just recording everything I do the point where I can get a bunch of clips and I can put it through Opus clips and I can start doing reels.
01:38:10
Speaker
I got, and so I was going to do it um more recently than I have been. I've been working on it for the past three years to get all the material together.
01:38:22
Speaker
But then I got an opportunity for a reality show that is, you know, coming in and out of turnaround. And it seems like it's coming back around again. so hopefully we can get back home.
01:38:38
Speaker
I mean, it's it's going to be. It's been a lot of work trying to get it off the ground. We got to find um the right pieces to put together for it. But we're getting there.
01:38:51
Speaker
Hopefully, congratulations. Hoping so. So, yeah, I was waiting until that comes out to start putting out the videos. And since it's been constantly going around, I haven't put anything out that I have.
01:39:07
Speaker
So I'm waiting for the show to come out, and then I'll
Comedy Content Strategy and Challenges
01:39:10
Speaker
let that go ahead and get me all types of gigs. And then whenever, ah you know, it'll go ahead and give me, like, hey, I've been on this TV show.
01:39:20
Speaker
wherever. ah Put me on at your club. That was cool. To pull people in, I'll go ahead and post those reels on Facebook wherever I'm going ahead and doing my shows. I'll go ahead and build the audience in the area and sell tickets. so That's the plan.
01:39:43
Speaker
so I haven't really put much and on Facebook or YouTube. well I'm sure you are allowed to put a lot on that because of signing NDH. What is that shit?
01:39:57
Speaker
Well, of my all of my material is my material. I own all that in perpetuity or whatever. um So that's that's not protected by an NDA. The the NDA, I have signed one.
01:40:13
Speaker
So that only protects like the specific things about the TV show and stuff. like I can say I have a TV show coming out and then I'm doing this, that, or the other thing.
01:40:24
Speaker
But I own that. yeah Yeah, I can't tell you anything more than that. That's fine. That's awesome. Congratulations. That's fucking sweet. I mean, yeah, I'm excited about it. I i mean, situation is, it's like you can't get too excited about, you know, a pilot or something that you get because they come.
01:40:47
Speaker
They come and they go. See, so like the New Year's Eve thing, i'm trying I'm so fucking excited. I'm trying to calm myself down because I don't want to get myself too hyped up for it.
01:41:00
Speaker
Because if nobody laughs, if it was like that last video we watched, i will then No, I don't care, honestly. If I don't get... out ah No, I'm gonna get laughed. I got this shit.
01:41:19
Speaker
I mean, it happens. The reason I didn't get many laughs on the last one was because there were probably like 10 people in the crowd. And most of them were comics.
01:41:30
Speaker
So like the controversial things about like gender or race, is that something that you touch on a lot? um yeah most I mean, i definitely do talk about gender, race, ah sexuality. I definitely do talk about that type of stuff. but um Is that what you aim for? No. um i don't My aim is myself. um' Most of my jokes are more about me being an idiot or or you know talking about
01:42:08
Speaker
the way i think about something and how that's idiotic or something like that uh i'm normally yeah yeah yeah i'm i'm normally the punchline i i don't like um I don't like go attacking people.
01:42:26
Speaker
um I'm not here to go ahead and generalize people and make them feel bad about themselves. But there are definitely things in the world that are for sure and a definite. There are parents out there that will be butthurt.
01:42:43
Speaker
I mean, there's just ways that you can look at things and it's goofy. You know what and I mean? And Yeah, you can either. and And I don't know. It's hard because.
01:42:56
Speaker
When you're a dark person like I am and like life's just kind of been shitty, you kind of got to go ahead and figure out a way to laugh about it rather than cry about it. And when you've been in that mentality for so long.
01:43:11
Speaker
he your joke may make you laugh because of how you got to go ahead and deal with your trauma but you could really piss somebody off in their mind because you said something and in your mind you've already gotten over that situation or it doesn't even really max out on your you know problem scale and that should just kind of happens and And as a comic, you have to go out there and you have to go ahead and try out your jokes because like it's easy to go ahead and shit on a comic whenever you watch a video on YouTube or something because they said something you didn't like. ah
01:43:52
Speaker
But you have to realize that a comic doesn't really have a chance to rehearse. comic doesn't have a chance to go ahead and like put together... ah comprehensive set whenever those videos are being recorded. Also, I think everybody perceives comedy in different ways.
01:44:11
Speaker
like Not everybody has the same levels of... like Like you said, you like dark comedy. I like dark comedy too. I like stale, like dark shit. Perverted shit as well.
01:44:24
Speaker
And I curse a lot. and Same with Michael. He does too. I mean, there's no problem. Yeah, it's just you're going to have those people that will laugh and some people that won't. And you just have to accept that you're not going to make everybody in the crowd have a reaction. Well, the thing I was saying was like a comic has to go. So like a musician, a musician gets to go ahead and go sit in his room and he can go ahead and fiddle around with his guitar for a while until he really feels so good about a tune.
01:45:01
Speaker
And then he goes ahead and takes that. to a recording studio and the recording studio puts that down on a cd and when they record that cd a comic goes ahead and finds something funny goes up on stage says it somebody films that and gets really offended at it and posts it on facebook and that person is going ahead and all of a sudden losing their job true true Somebody's running up on stage and punching them in the face. and it's like it it it comes from It might not come from a completely innocent place.
01:45:39
Speaker
Definitely comes from a place of... I don't know. Everybody has their own backgrounds and stuff that they get offended about. but The whole triggering thing really annoys me.
01:45:52
Speaker
Yeah, the word trigger triggers me. Right. Whatever the damage I'm sorry for you, but dude, check out for few minutes, go to the bathroom, go get a drink.
01:46:05
Speaker
You don't have to ruin somebody's life because you don't like what they had to say. We're here to tell you. Attacking you specifically, unless they are, in which case, you know, the tape shows that.
01:46:16
Speaker
Yeah, that's kind of a scummy thing to do. Well, mean, you got to think about You're coming to a comedy show. You're going to know what comedy is about. You go to a horror movie. You're not going to be surprised if somebody goes and gets their headlocked off.
01:46:31
Speaker
You know, exactly. If you're going to go ahead and get offended by blood and gore, don't go see a horror movie.
01:46:41
Speaker
If you're going to go ahead and get offended by somebody taking the piss out of something you care about, don't go to a comedy show. If you're going to go to Singapore, don't be surprised if you see a penis.
01:46:51
Speaker
on a check Yeah, exactly. You're trying to get some pussy in Singapore. Don't be surprised when it's a penis instead.
01:47:01
Speaker
Those ladyboys may need to watch out. Hey, you know. ah Why did that pop in my... The forest? I said, okay, I don't know. You're just a pervert. I don't know. i i am.
01:47:14
Speaker
i am. We have just been accosted by your perversion through this whole entire episode. I grew up with Ben around me my whole life, doing construction, painting, and everything. so Oh, sure. Blame it on the men. It's always the men's fault.
01:47:33
Speaker
You're the one talking about fucking women being pissed off about shit. Shut the fuck up. I didn't say women were pissed off. Men can be pissed off at dumb shit, too. We're just just big of idiots.
01:47:45
Speaker
You go ahead and make one one joke about the Dawn, I tell you what, you'll get 52,000 angry men on your ass. Fuck the Dawn.
01:47:56
Speaker
Fuck. I'd say fuck them all, but that's just how I feel about it. I just want 15 men on my ass. That's all. You want 15 men on your ass? That's why I said fuck the Don.
01:48:10
Speaker
Oh, there you go. Oh, okay. I said 50,000 men. Don't worry about what I'm doing.
01:48:18
Speaker
worry about what i'm doing
Unusual Experiences and Promotions
01:48:26
Speaker
can't I can't. Seems like Brit wants 50,000 men on her ass. I don't. That sounds like 49. oh that sign I mean, what what her name? billy Billy Blue or whatever? Billy Bush or whatever her name was? What's her name?
01:48:45
Speaker
Bonnie Blue. The one that she did 1,000 or whatever and that took her like a whole day, dude. 50,000. That's not going to take you like Go orgy.
01:48:56
Speaker
I'm bad at math. It's going to take you a while. It wasn't a thousand different people either. Oh, it wasn't? Oh, it's bullshit.
01:49:08
Speaker
I don't even know what's happening right now. I really don't understand what's so interesting about it. So the chick went and got ran through and posted all over Facebook, dude, or whatever it was.
01:49:20
Speaker
No, I wouldn't have heard her. Never. That's like roast beef. Nevermind. Okay. armies I mean, if that's what you want to do with your life, I'm just not going to sit here and be like, wow, that's amazing. You had a thousand dudes come over and bang you out.
01:49:40
Speaker
I just don't think it's, I don't know. don't think I'm not interested in that. It was obviously a joke. but good yeah Oh, I mean, it's okay.
01:49:52
Speaker
i mean um EDM combat you better fucking check your fucking who's making EDM comments? hey I spelled my name wrong EDM combat mixes now people are saying signing up okay can't see need my glasses now people are signing up people are signing up for what?
01:50:21
Speaker
Find me on foot finders or foot whatever the fuck. What? you got You got pictures of your feet out there?
01:50:32
Speaker
oh yeah funny Not yet. I'm literally fucking about to. i even yeah I have tattoos on my toes too. so Oh well.
01:50:46
Speaker
People dig next to it. There's a demographic out there for that. Dude, I'm pretty sure there's just a demographic for females' feet.
01:50:59
Speaker
Oh, I know. I met a guy out in the woods one time. and He was taking pictures. has to take pictures of me. And I realized he liked feet. And he probably has my feet out there. I just sold them.
01:51:13
Speaker
There you go. See, you could be making money off of your feet instead. He didn't even give me a cut. I know. That's what I'm saying. You're missing out. You should start selling your feet.
01:51:24
Speaker
Yeah. Well, not your feet. Don't cut your feet off. I mean, like, take a picture your foot and sell this. This isn't Saw 3 or Saw 2. Which one was that? Where he had to saw off his foot.
01:51:37
Speaker
Remember?
01:51:40
Speaker
Saw? I have photos of Brittany, guys. One dollar. Brittany's feet. And who the fuck is Britt-a-tin-ee?
01:51:52
Speaker
bri You're up to my own head.
01:51:56
Speaker
I met a guy in the woods one day. What the fuck? Okay, I go hiking. and he I was looking to get murdered. i was out in the woods and there was a vampire. Thank God.
01:52:11
Speaker
I go hiking, okay, in this spot, and I like to go swimming, and I like to put my feet in the water. He was out taking photography, he asked me to take pictures of me.
01:52:24
Speaker
and then later on, I was like, hey, can I get your number so I can get those pictures? Because I feel weird taking pictures of me. And was like, said something about my feet, and I was like, you're one of those guys. And I'm like, meh.
01:52:41
Speaker
and then later on what was your fault for taking your socks off and putting them feet in the water what were you doing i wasn't wearing socks in the first place i was just being an idiot i go back there barefoot i am a little bit of a hippie sort of if you couldn't tell drug rug i found um and I was back there barefoot. They have a bunch of rocks and boulders and creek and I go fishing sometimes. and
01:53:15
Speaker
yeah
01:53:18
Speaker
that's my That's my safe spot. Read it, Britt. I'll repeat. You met a man in the woods. ah know He was younger. bitch, run. bit He wasn't even a man. He was younger than me, too.
01:53:38
Speaker
So, yeah. ah ah
01:53:44
Speaker
I didn't talk to him again. I should have gotten a cut. Say it again for the people in the back. shop I'm to start hiking.
01:53:57
Speaker
Yeah, you'll find them. Cheeky-doos. oh You never heard it.
01:54:07
Speaker
I found quite a... I'm just gonna shut the fuck up. I'm just gonna stop talking because I'm making it work. That is never true when you say it. i like going to museums because it's like hiking through knowledge. Because there's smart girls and not ones like me.
01:54:28
Speaker
No, it just makes it seem like I'm smart. I can just stand next to something and just go... yeah He's a smart guy. That guy knows something about something and I know nothing about nothing.
01:54:42
Speaker
Read the little like caption underneath and just like memorize it. go Did you know this is from 1896? It is cost this much. It is cost. That's not a sentence.
01:54:57
Speaker
anyway So many adult films also start off that way. Laughter
01:55:04
Speaker
the perfect setup i said i normally stand there and i'm like this is the parthenon they went ahead and brought this all the way from greece and it's a model because the parthenon's huge tyler tell us where you're goingnna be Where am I going to be? I'm going to be at on Friday.
01:55:30
Speaker
I'm going to be in Cleveland, Ohio at the um Light Em Up ah open mic with Ryan Weiss at 7 to 9. It's Light Em Up comedy contest.
01:55:45
Speaker
Yep. I told you. $5 advance, $10 out the door. Check that out. and then there's all young boy There's a po' boy special and everything.
01:55:56
Speaker
So that's pretty cool. And then I'm also going to be on new year's Eve. I'm going to be at the, the underground with Michael lounge, bitch.
01:56:09
Speaker
And going to go ahead and have a comedy show and we're going to go ahead and have a roast.
01:56:17
Speaker
Right. Click. Right. like that right right See, I know things. Yeah, because I reminded you.
01:56:29
Speaker
No, I knew about that one. if That's going to be a good time. I'm excited. Brittany, do you have anything to plug? Who's ready to get pegged?
01:56:48
Speaker
but so who was ready to get pergged
01:56:54
Speaker
we when these days Women do love to get pegged, like pegging people these days. No, no, no, no, no. I have no interest. I've been asked for some guy to peg him and no, I'm not interest interested in that. I have had so many female friends. They're like, I want to go ahead and peg a guy.
01:57:20
Speaker
And don't know why they keep asking me. I don't know. Maybe they see something in you. It's your persona. You look peggable. They want to see something in you. They see this nice dupa and they just want to put something in it.
01:57:39
Speaker
That ass though. I'm telling you. You ain't seen it. You've only seen me from the waist up, dude. No, I've seen you in person. Oh, yeah, you did. You were at the wedding. You've seen my shoes. You said they were nice. We talked about this. I cleaned them that day.
01:57:55
Speaker
Smoke weed, they said. You remember everything. Do us all a big favor and like, share, and subscribe. For some weird shit constantly and always. Yeah. Like, share, subscribe. Bang that bell.
01:58:14
Speaker
hello all It's been a Wednesday, tomorrow. Speedway stories, I'm pretty sure.
01:58:24
Speaker
Fuck, man. is it Is it fucking Speedway stories on Thursdays or Mondays, Britt? Which is it? All right, it's like this. Wally does two shows on Monday and Thursdays.
01:58:34
Speaker
Mondays and Thursdays are Wally nights. He does cold-blooded conversations and Speedway stories. I think Mondays for Speedways and Wednesdays and Thursdays for Cold Blood Conversations, but I'm not fucking sure.
01:58:46
Speaker
She did not answer the question. I totally got you. What did I... Wait, what question? I don't know if I want to answer. I would What?
01:58:59
Speaker
Nothing. On Fridays, check us out on 8 o'clock for Movie Night with Michael and Friends. On Saturdays, check out Cash's Corner when it's around and Saturday nights of court.
01:59:14
Speaker
The flagship show of the nonsensical network. Nonsensical nonsense. The six-hour mega marathon sometimes. it's It's fucking nuts. You got to check it out. You got to be drinking to enjoy it.
01:59:26
Speaker
And then Sundays, we've got unnecessary Unnecessary Roughness. Unnecessary Roughness right back around to Monday, which whichever fucking Wally show that is. Love you, Wally. I'm sorry. I don't know your goddamn shit. I apologize, buddy.
01:59:38
Speaker
out This has been another episode of Brit.
01:59:47
Speaker
Fucking Humpty Ha Ha. This is me recording and checking my sound. I don't know if it'll work good or not. I've got super lame looking hair.
01:59:58
Speaker
I hate this fucking haircut. It's fucking and stupid as fuck. But that's what Sue wants, so that's what Sue gets. She wants to make sure I'm unfuckable to the rest of the world. Whoops!