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Episode 66 - Barstool Confessions #6 - Learning from Life Experiences
811 Plays1 day ago
What happens when two friends sit down and wrestle withlife’s biggest questions? In this episode we unveil a new segment called 40,000 ft: What is something that has happened to you recently and what did you learn from it in a global sense? (i.e. when you zoom out to 40,000 ft.)
Erik shares that people avoid going near his dog Teddybecause they see he's part pitbull, and that gets him thinking about innate bias, and what biases he has with respect to woodworking. Paul shares his experiences of recent travel and how that has changed him to be OPEN to theuniverse, accepting what life has in store with a sense of unexpected joy instead of being anxious trying to control this chaotic world. And of course, things will go off the rails at times. Join us for an honest, unscripted conversation that just might shift how you see the world—and yourself.
To watch the YOUTUBE VIDEO of this episode and theirreverent & somewhat unpredictable AFTERSHOW, subscribe to our Patreon:
http://patreon.com/user?u=91688467
Gorilla Glue Wood Filler and Wood Glue (less water)mentioned in today's show:
http://gorillatough.com/woodworkingisbs
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Transcript
Introduction and Host Roles
00:00:02
Speaker
link
00:00:16
Speaker
Oh, hey there, ho there. Welcome back to the Woodworking is Bullshit. This here is Foghorn Leghorn. I'm your host of the podcast, Woodworking is Bullshit.
00:00:29
Speaker
I'm your host, Paul Jasper. I said that twice. scientist by day, woodworker by night, and of course I got my boy in the chair across from fine furniture and content creator Eric Curtis. What's up, Doc? I really hope that this is somebody's first time they're ever listening to this episode and the first thing they hear from us is, hey there, hold out. Hey there, hold out.
00:00:51
Speaker
I don't, I don't, yeah, all
'Barstool Confessions' Segment
00:00:53
Speaker
right, anyway. ah So, ah It's just me and Eric tonight, and you know what that means. We're rolling with another episode of Barstool Confessions.
00:01:04
Speaker
Barstool Confessions. This is our sixth installment, if I'm correct. I think so. And for those that may have forgotten, Eric and I just tried off the cuff one time, hey, what if it's just the two of us talking like we do at the bar? like That's how we started this podcast was because we thought,
00:01:23
Speaker
hey, you know, this started with us pouring over thoughts and ideas together when we you know drink at the bar together. Let's revisit that in a podcast format. So that's what Barstool's Confession is. And of course, the feedback was tremendous.
00:01:40
Speaker
People loved it the very first time we did it. And we've gotten good feedback ever since. So it's a little different than our, ah you know, more orchestrated topical episodes, but yet It is topical. You just don't know what it is. And we have surprises for each other. We don't know what each other is going to say. oh we got some surprises tonight, buddy. So the the concept. So i all I did was tell Eric what I think the concept is for tonight.
00:02:07
Speaker
And that is, you know, when things happen in your life, what are the learnings? And I bring this up as a way to say like, oh, we could just talk about what happened to us this week or this month. Like, you know, many podcasts cover like, hey, what's going on, right?
00:02:25
Speaker
And you can talk about that. But for me, i always seem to come back to well, that was really awesome or that was not that awesome. But like, what did I learn from it? And what do I take away? If I were to look at what happened and zoom out like I'm a drone out to 40,000 feet,
00:02:45
Speaker
and look down on the situation.
00:02:49
Speaker
What did I learn? What are the greater abstracted learnings that I can carry with me? And next time I see that same thing happening or something similar, or next time I feel confused, can I rely upon those learnings from my previous exposure, right? So it's,
00:03:11
Speaker
40,000 feet. This segment is called 40,000 feet. So Eric and I ah are each coming with things that have happened to us recently.
Biases in Creative Fields
00:03:20
Speaker
And what is the learning and what do we take away from it? Eric, baby, you're going to go first.
00:03:27
Speaker
There's a legal document somewhere that says something about me learning from previous exposures, but we're going to set that aside. Okay.
00:03:38
Speaker
um okay Do you want me to start with a question and then give the observation or observation that leads into the question? Because we know sometimes I get stuck in the rabbit hole and forget to bring it back around to the question. Observation. Tell us the observation first. Okay. Okay. All right.
00:03:56
Speaker
So um anybody who has been um watching, listening to, observing any of the content I've put out over the last seven months is very familiar with the fact that I got myself a dog.
00:04:09
Speaker
Right. um Teddy's a good, good boy. He's a he's a sweet soul of a pup. But he's got to look to him. He's 75 pounds of Mike Tyson.
00:04:21
Speaker
He looks like a stone cold killer and um When you say the look to him, you mean the pit bull look? he's a yeah Yeah, he's a pit bull. He's a pit bull. um and And pit bulls have a ah reputation, earned or not. you know it's it's In some ways, it's it's completely unearned in just pop culture.
00:04:43
Speaker
And in other ways, um there's some merit to it. But um Teddy, is he like he plays hard. But he wants to lick you to death. Ultimately, you know, we'll go to the park and he'll like come up and he'll wrestle with a dog. And as soon as the dog yips, he's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. You know, like that I just I was I thought we were having a good time. That's your line. That's cool.
00:05:07
Speaker
But when I walk him down the streets of Philly, yeah you know, people cross the street. People i have I have seen people wince and turn away from him when they come up when he goes up to their dog to greet him at the dog park. So they have this this clear inherent bias against the pit bull and there's social connotations to that. There's ah economic connotations to that. There's a whole history of the pit bull and and um how it was.
00:05:38
Speaker
i don't know what the right word is, but but how that prejudice has grown over the 20th century, basically.
00:05:45
Speaker
So I was then wondering, seeing this inherent um bias in people and then seeing how quickly that can change when they realize like, oh, Teddy's going to run up to your Chihuahua and then just like sniff him kind of gently and be like, you're too small to play with, so i'm going to move on.
00:06:03
Speaker
That initial exposure um to engagement with and then mind changing. I've been wondering about my own in your um creative biases.
00:06:17
Speaker
biases the biases that we have and i mean this this conversation can expand well outside of the creative fields but but specifically we can start in the creative fields because this is a podcast about creativity um i'll give mine first that like these are the first uh a few that came to mind ah but before you you start talking about so the question is What biases might you have that maybe you're not aware of, or can you quantify them, or can you assure explore them more deeply because you're seeing them thrust onto you in the in the situation with your dog? and Yes, and specifically about other people's work, not necessarily about your own.
00:07:00
Speaker
How do you perceive other people's creative practices, and okay okay what what does that say about your unspoken biases? Okay.
00:07:11
Speaker
So the first thing that came to mind ah is is a friend of mine, and I don't want to use their name. Obviously, they're a friend of mine. um But when I was first exposed to their work, i was thoroughly unimpressed.
00:07:31
Speaker
Um, it tends to be a lot of simple shapes, rectangles, squares, circles composed onto one another and in very simple, um, colors and tones and shades. Right. Okay. Um, now if I was going to just like be borderline mean about it, like it, it kind of looks as though like a, a kindergartner has taken a bunch of shapes and just stacked them on top of each other. Right. Right. Okay.
00:08:00
Speaker
Um, And it's not until you have a conversation with this person and hear about their work and what they're trying to accomplish that it, it, it started to become, it felt more intentional.
00:08:16
Speaker
And so okay I realized that my bias is when I see, excessively simple woodworking. My assumption is that that person doesn't have the skill to do more complex woodworking. Okay. It's ironic because I tend to be a minimalist in a lot of my designs. Well, yes, but I would push back and say 19 times out of 20, that assumption is probably correct.
00:08:41
Speaker
Maybe, but like, you know. Eric, Eric, human nature goes with the rule rather than the exception. You came across and and an example where it turned out to be not true. And you're like, whoa, what the fuck? Well, so so this is ultimately like...
00:08:57
Speaker
what I'm sitting with, what I'm getting at about ah my own perception of other people's work is is not necessarily like the work that that this person is doing or that people ah who have that aesthetic is doing um like it's it's pretty simple woodworking and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with it. But yeah.
00:09:15
Speaker
When you are confronted, and this goes well beyond woodworking, with the fact that your bias, um whether on the whole or in this in a specific circumstance, is proven to be incorrect, do you have the capacity to change your opinion?
00:09:32
Speaker
Well, in that case, you do. But should you lose the bias completely? i don't I don't know. i'm I'm just asking you. I don't give a fuck about everybody else. They can make that decision for themselves. Do you have the capacity to change your opinion when confronted? So like, look, you're coming to the house next week, right? Yep. um And you haven't met Teddy?
00:09:55
Speaker
And I don't think you have a bias against big dogs, even though you got these tiny little squirts. But like excuse me. Listen, no you know, I love them, but they're tiny little squirts, tiny little squirts. So is it a thing that like if you were to have a ingrained fear of pit bulls because of pop culture and you meet Teddy, do you have do you have the capacity to go, OK, this dog is not a killer?
00:10:24
Speaker
Yeah. And so I can be comfortable in this house around him. Yes. Okay. ah I have a few thoughts about t the Teddy example. We should get back to the whole bias thing. yeah Is it good or is it bad? And isism and but but let's take Teddy because you brought that up. um I definitely am more cautious around pit bulls. Hmm.
00:10:45
Speaker
Why? Not because i believe they're more frequently aggressive than any other dog. I think all dogs can be aggressive, but pit bulls in particular are unique in the dog world in that they have the physical ability to kill a human.
00:11:01
Speaker
Sure. Frenchies do not, or at least, you know, I mean, i I don't think there's any documented case of a little French bulldog or a chihuahua killing a human. so I have to Google this now. Keep talking.
00:11:15
Speaker
but So there's there's a seriousness that comes with being around an animal that can cause like serious harm to a human. So it yeah, maybe maybe the maybe the caution's turned up um a notch. Okay.
00:11:31
Speaker
All right. You're smiling. Did you find out that there a has killed a human? Granted, this is just an AI overview, but in May 2020, a 52-year-old woman in Fox Lake, Illinois was fatally mauled inside her home by ah French bulldog mix.
00:11:47
Speaker
How was mix? It was mixed with people. It was mixed with people. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. So ah from the, ah the minute I see a pit bull, I'm definitely more cautious. I don't put my hands out. Sure. Sure. Sure. And I ask the owner, I'm like, are they friendly? You know, I just take the temperature.
00:12:05
Speaker
Whereas if I saw a Frenchie, I'd probably just reach, you know, I'd be more apt to just reach up. Second of all, um I have a pit bull down the street from me who is the love of my life, the most friendly pit bull ever. Oh my God. So well-trained, so loving, wouldn't hurt a fly. So I've had some really nice experiences with people. I've never had a bad one actually, you know,
00:12:31
Speaker
Uh, so that's kind of where I'm at about people. So I would probably like be cautious at first because my experience has told me, you know, this is a dog that is very powerful. So I'm going to play it safe. And then the owner can instruct me and the, the body language of the dog can instruct me like what's sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. And then I would fucking love all over that dog.
00:12:49
Speaker
Yeah. Well, there's that. So, so it's more the, the, It sounds to me like what you're saying is it's not a bias against pit bulls. It's seeing the capacity of the individual dog. So pit bull or no, like if it was a, if it was Rottweiler, if it was a fucking St. Bernard, right? I would, any dog that is powerful enough to cause serious bodily serious harm. I think I'm going to be a little more cautious.
Openness to the Universe
00:13:20
Speaker
That's fair. So, um, if we were to draw a parallel in woodworking, um
00:13:26
Speaker
people have a hesitance, a fear of like a table saw, for example. That's great example. When you're starting out, you're like, I'm afraid, but nobody's afraid of a chisel.
00:13:38
Speaker
And I personally, as a teacher, have seen more students injure themselves with a chisel than on a table saw. Oh, I've been hurt more by a chisel than a table saw. Right. I've never been hurt by a table saw.
00:13:49
Speaker
So are we saying that Frenchies bite more people than pit bulls are? Is what we're saying? No. Dick, that is not the extrapolation. but ah but but But it's a great analogy or it's a great metaphor for this because with the table saw, I knew it could cut my fingers off. So I never, i have a saw stop now. It's the because capacity to cut your fingers off.
00:14:09
Speaker
But before I had a saw stop, I never, ever put my fingers past the blade. I always used push stick. A hundred percent of the time, fingers never, ever came near it. That was my agreement for like, I own a saw that will not stop. And I'm never, I'm never going to, I'm never going to have that problem because I'm never going to put my fingers near it.
00:14:34
Speaker
So can can I draw a different ah ah analogy or or use a different example? ah You know, I coached gymnastics for 15 years um and I worked at a number of different gyms. um Most gyms would have standard above ground trampolines. A couple of the gyms that I worked at, usually when you are getting into higher ah achieving competitive teams, like in ground would have in ground trampolines. Now, I've never been a person that's feared injury my entire life. Like i I have always done crazy shit with my body and just assume that it will be fine.
00:15:10
Speaker
And most of the time it is. um The only exception to that is once I got used to pulling like double backs on an in ground trampoline and then I went to an above ground trampoline again, all of a sudden that three and a half feet to the concrete floor looks a lot more dangerous and you're a lot more caught or I was a lot more cautious on what types of things I was willing to attempt on the trampoline.
00:15:37
Speaker
Did you say you can do a double backflip? I mean, I can't anymore. Probably. Yeah, I it. You could do a double backflip. Yeah. Fuck off. Dude, was in the sport for some odd years.
00:15:54
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I heard about this per peripherally, but what? I mean, on a trampoline. It doesn't count on a tramp. But yeah, we were working on triples. is that what they call it in the biz? A tramp? Yeah. Okay. No, I was the tramp, but that's a different story. Okay, that's what they call it. Tramp. Okay, fucking cool guy. He was in the insider talk.
00:16:16
Speaker
Holy shit, Eric. I didn't know it was that serious. I had no idea. Oh, yeah. I competed for a number of years. You did? My best event. Yeah. are you Do you have any videos of this that I can see? I don't know if I do. I stopped competing in, what would it have been, like 2005, I think. So, like, I don't think there are any videos left over.
00:16:39
Speaker
I might like I could try to try to pull one. I I'm I haven't done it in probably three or four years now, but I would one I would put $100 down. I could still do a standing back top like on the floor. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah.
00:16:52
Speaker
Now, granted, I'm closing in on 40, so I may be pushing my luck at point. OK, so oh, wait, but wait, Eric, you didn't say this. This segment's called 40,000 feet. What have you learned?
00:17:05
Speaker
What is your learning from this observation? Oh, that's a fair point. Really put me on the on the spot like that. I try not to learn as best I can. um Now, I think.
00:17:21
Speaker
It's the thing that I am. The reason I'm hesitating is because it's on the one hand, I think the work should speak for itself and shouldn't require the artist's intervention to explain why it's good.
00:17:38
Speaker
But on the other hand, me having a bias towards storytelling, I I know that if I have a conversation with the artist and understand why they made certain decisions, I am more apt to um view their work in a positive light. Okay. so maybe just get the fuck over myself and just, you know, let people make the things that they want to make and stop fucking judging them for it Okay. So maybe that's the last way. Yeah. You came away with maybe my biases are not,
00:18:14
Speaker
That useful. Yeah, I don't know that they're helpful. Well, sometimes they are helpful because they keep you from danger. Like, oh, like biases. Like if it smells bad, don't eat it. Right. That's that's your biology telling you don't eat harmful things. If you see something sketchy on the sidewalk, you're like, I don't think I want to walk on that. that right So some biases keep you safe and and help you, but you're saying with respect to art and understanding people's art, it's not like having that bias doesn't do me any favors per se. Yeah, I don't think so i don't think that this bias upon reflection is about...
00:18:52
Speaker
um whether or not it would influence my work in one way or the other, i think it's pure ego. Like, because it's, it's in like a gallery context, right? It's in, it's in a gallery context. So, so if your work is in a gallery and my work is not in a gallery that like I applied to that show and it didn't get in and I see that work and I'm like, why the fuck is that piece end in and mine isn't? I see. and I see this. You know, so calling out your own ego though. Listen, I'm fucking insufferable. I get it.
00:19:21
Speaker
I didn't say that. I said, good, not good job. no i like your own ego yeah yeah yeah no You're not insufferable. Okay. All right. Mine. All right. Go for it. So I'm going to tell you the observation. Then I'll tell you what the 40,000 foot learning was. Okay.
00:19:37
Speaker
So recently ah my wife and i we took a bunch of trips. We went to London and Paris. We went to Arizona for 10 days. We went to Toronto and,
00:19:51
Speaker
And I've always been kind of hesitant to plan trips. And that's because i used to over plan them. I used to think I need every detail of every day mapped out, every contingency, everything we're doing. ah you know And there was so much work up front that I didn't even want to plan vacations because I just didn't want to sit at that computer for 10, 12, 20 hours, like Googling every possible restaurant. Oh, but it's gotta to be the best restaurant. And what region should it be? Well, it's gotta be close to the, to the, you know, the public. And then, oh yeah, but then what are we going to do after? Well, it's far away from what we want to do after. So maybe that's not the ideal restaurant. And then you get analysis paralysis, you dizzy yourself with details and then you just don't even want to plan a trip.
00:20:35
Speaker
Hmm. And I'm like, this is not ah this is not a good way to live. And ah so slowly but surely, I've been, and this is the observation, the learnings are manifold, like so many learnings.
00:20:49
Speaker
ah I've been moving towards a thing where I just planned the trip. I booked the airline and I booked the hotel roughly. I might spend an hour or two looking at stuff, maybe an hour, yeah maybe two.
00:21:02
Speaker
And then I just book it. And I'm like, we'll figure the rest out. Maybe there's one or two things you really want to do and you do those things. So we did this with London and we leave the rest open.
00:21:16
Speaker
and ah And then we did this with Arizona and we left so much open. And we and and i want to i want to tell you some of the learnings about why we left it open and then get back to actually what happened.
00:21:32
Speaker
So to me, what we're doing is we're putting a structure, a framework in place, and we're saying, let the universe... happen. Be open to the universe. That's my message. That's my learning. That is like literally the phrase of the year for me and my wife. We are being open to the universe and it has been a fucking great year. yeah It has been a one has been a fantastic year for us.
00:21:59
Speaker
um So how are we open to the universe? We planned this trip with our daughter to London and Paris. We only had very few plants in London. We go to Phantom of the Opera. My daughter loves musicals. We go to Phantom of the Opera.
00:22:13
Speaker
We have nothing the next day. We just left it totally open. We have no idea what we're going to do. Now, some people would be like, oh, why that's a waste. like you You need plans, right? But like while we're at intermission at Phantom of the Opera, we wandered down to the pit orchestra and we started talking to the musicians because both my daughter and I played instruments.
00:22:31
Speaker
And of course, we love to like look over, like what's it like to be a real ah real instrument player? you know And we start talking with some of the some of the instrumentalists, some of the musicians in the pit at intermission.
00:22:43
Speaker
And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm not usually here. I'm usually playing at Wicked. And my daughter looks at me with stars in her eyes. And I say to him, you know, are there ah there tickets to Wicked? And he's like, oh, totally. There's matinee tickets. Yeah, yeah, you should go ask, definitely.
00:23:00
Speaker
And so the next day we go see Wicked. And it was even better than Phantom of the Opera. they got Like I couldn't even believe it. dude, Wicked was outstanding. My daughter and I were in tears multiple times. It was like the best thing. But like, had we not left that day open, Yeah.
00:23:16
Speaker
The universe wouldn't have led us to have that conversation. I'm not saying this is foretold by the, I'm just saying that this is happenstance. Sure, sure, sure, sure. We wouldn't have had the availability.
00:23:27
Speaker
You're open to walk through doors that are opening in real time. Yes. And it's a little weird to not have things planned out. If someone has structured as myself, but like, that's what happens. So then we go to Paris and we say, you know what?
00:23:40
Speaker
We're going to let our daughter plan the itinerary and she's going to plan it off. Tick tock. So us oldie moldies are like, wait, wait, wait wait a minute here. We're letting ah a teenager use TikTok recommendations by other fucking teenagers to guide our one and only trip to Paris. Is this a good idea?
00:24:03
Speaker
And i tell you what, man, she hit it out of the park. Fucking amazing. The places she took us to, the breakfast places, the food, all these all these influencer TikTok recommendations were stellar. They were amazing.
00:24:19
Speaker
Without a doubt. And like, I couldn't believe how good it was. And we were just freewheeling, freewheeling for like four days around Paris. And it was such in Paris, huh? Yeah. And it was so fun because we didn't have anywhere to be. We didn't have anything to do necessarily. And we would just find things to do. So fine. So that trip came in one.
00:24:42
Speaker
Then we go to, and this is what really cemented it for me. We go to Arizona. Now we go to Jason's Patreon summit, you uh, bourbon moth, Jason Hibbs. And I spoke at that summit last year.
00:24:54
Speaker
And so we, we go to the summit. Vicky comes with me. And, um, what's nice is I know everyone. Cause I spoke last year. So everyone knew me. So it's, it's a real great icebreaker. Now, why are we there in the first place? Well,
00:25:08
Speaker
The previous year, when I was the speaker, I met a couple, Alex and Melissa. And Alex and Melissa and I came became fast friends over that weekend, like the three of us. um they were um They were dating for like four or five years at the time.
Spontaneity and Connections
00:25:22
Speaker
And over some drinks at the bar came the conversation. oh are you guys married? like you know what yeah and and and And Melissa looks across the bar at Alex and, Alex, are we married? Yeah.
00:25:37
Speaker
And Alex comes in with this ah really sheepish look on. She's like, why aren't we married yet? And I'm like, oh, shit. What have I stepped into? We're just becoming friends. And like there's some like, where's the ring, big guy going on at the bar. And he and he you know hit era Alex was like super awesome about it. He like laughed. and like and But there was definitely some real tension in that. oh yeah. Yeah.
00:26:04
Speaker
And so the the the vulnerability and the honesty of them and me in that moment, like we just kind of went with it. And sure, it's not the kind of conversation you you normally have with like new friends. well this is also your fucking superpower. You're just like, oh, you guys are like arguing about getting engaged. Let's have a real conversation. The three of us who you've known for an hour and a half. Yeah, so that's exactly what happened, right?
00:26:31
Speaker
And then we kept in touch the whole year. And then Alex reached out to me and was like, hey, I'm thinking about making a ring box in the middle of year. And then they get engaged. i see it all happen on Instagram, you know, because I'm friends with both of them now. And they were like, we totally want you to come to the wedding.
00:26:49
Speaker
And I was like, okay, let's go. I've met you one weekend, but I'm open to the universe. Let's go. yeah So that's what precipitated the trip to Arizona is their wedding. And then we realized that Jason's conference is a week before. So we're like, let's do both. Let's go back to the thing, back to the Jason's conference. Let's go to this wedding. And in between, we'll go to the Grand Canyon, which is one of Vicky's, my wife's ah lifelong dreams.
00:27:16
Speaker
Okay, so we go to the woodworking conference. ah Keith's there. Michael Alm is there. Jason, like all these great people are there. We have the best time and my wife's with me this time. So like she's meeting all these new people and Vicky was never into that whole woodworker bohemian like friends with everyone thing. But like she's learned that these are really awesome people. Like through repeat you, of course, you know, you, you, Mary Keith, like she loves all of you dearly. Justin Conrad, Jack, everyone, you know, she's seen what great people this community has to offer. So she goes with me. We have the best time during the conference. Then we're mini golfing.
00:27:58
Speaker
And a couple that we met last year as well, not Alex and Melissa, ah Joe and Marley. Joe's like, Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? And we're like, just driving up, with you know, yeah, yeah. Driving up to the, you know, we're staying at a friend's house, like an engraver's friend, and an engraver friend. We're staying at his parents' house.
00:28:17
Speaker
Uh, we're just driving up there, just getting, you know, it's two, three hour drive. He's like, well, listen, I'm a police officer with the Phoenix police department. You guys know that I knew that from meeting them last year. He's like, I'm in the air unit now. What do you say you're going on to ride along and in the, in the helicopter? Yup.
00:28:34
Speaker
I've like time stopped for me. it's like, what do you mean? Why don't you go on a helicopter on patrol on like a ride along in a helicopter? I've never seen a helicopter up close.
00:28:48
Speaker
Nevermind ridden in one. And I looked at him across the table and I look at Vicky. And I'm like, do you want to go in a helicopter? And she's like, why the fuck not? Why the fuck not? again, not having plans yeah and just meeting people and being open to the universe.
00:29:07
Speaker
And so we met Joe the next day. We went up in the Phoenix police chopper for an hour and a half. Amazing. Ride along. We got called into cases. We had the headphones on. And it was all legit. You sign bunch forms. They have very specific ride along policies.
00:29:24
Speaker
And we went up in a helicopter. Neither of us has ever even been near a helicopter ah for an hour and a half. And it was fucking thrilling. Listen, I've got one singular question for you. This whole seven minutes you've been laying out this whole fucking story.
00:29:39
Speaker
Did at any point you turn to your buddy and you're like, I spotted the perp.
00:29:45
Speaker
We did spot the perp. We did. I'm not even kidding. We saw the perp running down a mountain. it was Amazing. It was a male and a female perp. They're running down a mountain. They ditched something in a bush. You could totally see. their they're They're radioing the ground unit. like We got a perp at 11 o'clock. yeah Totally ditched it in the bush. Vicky and I are like, the the chopper's tilted at 45 degrees. We're looking down. We're like, wondering what the fuck are we doing like what are we doing here it was amazing so that happened then all week long were like day trips so my friend my my friend louis is he's an amazing engraver let us stay at his parents house with him uh his parents are off in new zealand we stayed with him all week uh in prescott arizona he gave us day trips to like
00:30:37
Speaker
45 minutes down a dirt road, no road at all, no cell reception. He's like, just follow this road for about an hour. He's like, don't worry. There's no cell reception. There's no signs. There's no road. There's no guardrails. Just follow it. You'll find this amazing river called Fossil Creek and you can swim in it. And it's like all these waterfalls and crystal clear water in the middle of a desert. And I'm like, okay, we're being open to the universe. So Vicky and I- Yeah, like Vicky's flipping outward that we're going fall off the side of a mountain as we drive down this hour long. It's like the most but like crazy shit.
00:31:14
Speaker
And sure enough, it was brilliant. There was like waterfalls and rivers and you can swim in any of them all the way down this like 10 mile area is amazing, Eric. Yeah. im like ah This is not our normal jam. We don't do things like this normally. So, so, all right. So what, wait, I just, I have two more things. So all week long and we see the grand Canyon and we make new friends and then we go to Alex and Melissa's wedding and it's full of new people, new friends. Uh, we were having such a good time at the wedding with our table that they didn't call us to eat and the food left.
00:31:52
Speaker
yeah Like, have you ever gone to a wedding and not eaten dinner? That's how that happened. And they're like, okay, we can we can come back. We can come back. And they come back and they give Vicky a plate of potatoes. and And you know what? And we don't even care because we had so much fun yeah with our new friends. And then one of them is from, he he he's from Mexico out from under the table. He brings out a whole set of like authentic mezcal and all the trimmings, all the accoutrements and side things instead of dinner. And I don't know. I didn't know he had it there. He like, amazing. Like this came directly out of Mexico and like all this shit happens and we make all these new friends. It's truly phenomenal. And we go home and,
00:32:33
Speaker
we felt so refreshed about humanity, about the niceness of people, about being open to like the universe. So that was my,
00:32:46
Speaker
These trips to me were such a learning moment. And then of course we went to Toronto and saw Conrad and spent a weekend with him and his wife to pick up a plane, but also, but really that was just an excuse for us to get together. yeah And yeah it was ah the most amazing weekend together. Like we love Conrad and Jill.
00:33:06
Speaker
They're like, we get along thick as thieves. Another weekend of just being open to the universe, new friends. So for me, this whole year has been a lesson in opening ourselves up.
00:33:18
Speaker
Yeah. Go ahead. I interrupted your question. Well, ah you you gave a lot of observation. and You didn't ask a question at the end. Ask a question. Well, I didn't have a question. What was the learning? The learning was be open. The learning. OK, so this so for a long time, Eric.
00:33:39
Speaker
Oh, by the way, one more thing. we We're washing dishes and we hear a cat meowing out in the yard. Oh, yeah. Long story short, because it's already been a long story, long story longer. It turns out to be a stray kitten about five weeks old and we catch it after four days. And now it's our cat. We've never owned a cat before. We never thought we'd own a cat. But a stray cat presented itself and...
00:34:06
Speaker
Now we're, we have a cat in our family. Last time and I presented myself, I got arrested, but it has nothing to do with this story. So we love this cat and her name's Georgia and we love her and we never wanted to be cat owners. We never thought we'd be cat owners, but the universe presented us with a cat, a kitten of all things. And so we, all right, so what's the learning? So Eric, for a long time,
00:34:31
Speaker
I've been thinking about the Buddhist idea that desire is the root of suffering, that whole idea. So the bo so the buddh I'll read something, you know the Buddhist framework, right? In Buddhism, desire is not, I'm reading this, by the way, I didn't write this, I wish I did. In Buddhism, desire is not merely wanting a good meal, it is the deep fundamental thirst for things to be different than they are. That's what desire is. or the clinging to things that inherently cannot last.
00:35:04
Speaker
This craving, desire, creates a cycle of dissatisfaction because everything in the universe, including our bodies, emotions, and circumstances, is constantly changing.
00:35:18
Speaker
So the more you cling to desire, the more you cling to the universe staying the way it is, or your life, or controlling the narrative of your life, the more i I find myself being uncomfortable because I can't control it. So I've said, for a long time, I've been thinking a different way. I'm like, what if I let go? What if I open myself to the universe and say, I'm open, whatever happens, happens, and I'm open to it.
00:35:45
Speaker
And that, this year, kind of juxtaposed some of that Buddhist thinking that I've been kind of mulling over in the back of my mind. Okay. i've got I've got two thoughts. One is just I'll start with because it's it's a carte blanche agreement.
00:36:03
Speaker
You know that I agree with everything that you just said creatively in life. Like this is this is why I have gotten in the car and just driven west and just like...
00:36:14
Speaker
i don't know where you're going to sleep tonight. i I'll fucking couple hours before I'm tired. I'll like find a spot and go there, you know, and like sometimes you find incredible things. Some of the most beautiful places I've been in this country have come from trying to get to X, but stopping at like X1, X2, X3, X4 along the way and just like.
00:36:37
Speaker
I don't fucking know. Let's find out. And I don't remember where half these fucking places are, but I remember being there and they were incredible. So, you know, I agree with that. um So that that like full stop agreement out of the way. um Let me ask you a question.
00:36:58
Speaker
Your daughter is going to college now, right in in the in the fall.
00:37:06
Speaker
So for the last 18 years, you have to some extent had to be structured, you were raising a child, right? Correct. Yep.
00:37:17
Speaker
They require structure. They require repetition. They they require safety. know you're going. Right. I know where you're going. And now you have couple of fucking empty nesters out here. Yeah. Open to the universe. It's so easy. It's so easy. What's this next stage of our life look like? Yeah. yeah So genuinely, I'm not trying to pick on you, but I'm genuinely wondering, um do you think that that in in i I really, i don't want to phrase this like children are a burden because your daughter is wonderful. No, it's and it's not even about children per se.
00:37:51
Speaker
yeah But it's about responsibility. so It's about responsibility. you now, you are at a moment of transition where you no longer have the responsibility. Correct. And you are like, oh, I can do anything. Correct. And now all of a sudden, all the horizons are open.
00:38:06
Speaker
So being open to the universe is predicated on a few things. That is, you're financially secure. Mm-hmm. That's a huge one. And that is not to be taken for granted. I hustled for a lot of years sure to build a structure, a rock solid foundation that gave me financial security.
00:38:26
Speaker
That is not to be taken lightly. And that did not, that wasn't about being open to the universe. Well, mean, maybe. In pieces, maybe. but Listen, listen, you busted your ass for... for 20 years to to get to where you're at. But that then affords you the ability, to your point, to go, we're going to go to England and France and Arizona and just kind of like fuck off this year.
00:38:48
Speaker
Correct. And that that is a privilege. That is a position of privilege.
Financial Security and Freedom
00:38:53
Speaker
So you have to have the financial security. You have to have the personal security in a relationship. Your children have to be of age that they can either come with you or be cared for, like take care of themselves.
00:39:03
Speaker
Definitely all of that is true. And in fact, I'll go one second. I'll go one even further and say, oh, Eric, you and I love to talk about balance. Oh, balance. How much is enough?
00:39:15
Speaker
Balance in life. that Yeah, I got to pray. But like lately, ah the last month or so, a science has picked up substantially to the point that I don't have a ton of time for the workshop because I'm doing science most pretty much around the clock. And I don't, I don't, I'm not complaining. It's been fantastic. The prod, like I can't put the projects down. They're so interesting. So like I don't mind. It's totally fine by me.
00:39:46
Speaker
But what I realized is there's very little creative gas in the tank at, at 9 PM after I've exhausted myself on science all day, 9 PM rolls around and I'm like, Oh, I am not going to the shop. Fuck the shop. I am open to the fucking couch. I am open to that pillow hit my head. No, so like it's easy, like in essence, it's an extension of what you're just saying. it's It's like easy to say these things, but it's conditional.
00:40:20
Speaker
Yeah. Like being, having a balanced life with work and play is conditional based on you have gas in the tank after work. Being open to the universe is conditional being that you have your bills paid and you have ah your child's cared for and you have a house, you know, that, you know mean? It's a great point. Yeah. Well, so so as you are kind of telling this story of just like, you know, i we're just going to go see what happens. um I was thinking about two people concurrently, and they're just kind of pop culture icons, famously people who have done a lot of like soul searching and being open to the universe. um
00:41:00
Speaker
Matthew McConaughey and Bill Murray, two people who famously for an extended period were just like, I'm famous, but i'm just going to kind of disappear. I'm just going to go like, see what's out there. You know, like Bill, the legend of Bill Murray is like, he would just like show up at a random person's party. And then you just like party for Bill Murray but with Bill Murray for the night. And then he'd be gone. Like Matthew McConaughey, like buying an airstream and just like fucking off into the desert for like a month at a time. Right, right, right. But yeah,
00:41:31
Speaker
to your point, those are both people who had the security of correct passive income. You know? Yeah, for sure. And i don't I don't know what their income level was. I don't know if they were still rolling in the millions at that point in time, but they at least had enough to not have to worry about like, am I going to able to afford a peanut butter and jelly for dinner? yeah You know?
00:41:51
Speaker
Now, to your point, though, if you're at a point where you're younger and you're you're working for it, I do think there, I wish I had the idea of being open to the universe, at least in the back of my mind. Not that I could have fucked off for 10 days and done whatever I wanted when I was 20, but maybe I wouldn't have been so wound up if things didn't go my way.
00:42:15
Speaker
I wish I would have been a little more open to like, okay, you don't have to control the narrative on everything. And I would say, you know, that probably applies to all of us.
00:42:27
Speaker
So many people I've seen in life who get upset about things just because things, though the universe didn't quite go their way. And what I mean by universe is like whatever you were trying to control the outcome.
00:42:40
Speaker
not that it's not upsetting. It is in in some ways because you work hard for things, but sometimes letting go, i think is provides you a path of less suffering. I think I agree. Yeah.
00:43:01
Speaker
Which is I think, which is why i didn't I didn't bring up the the financial security aspect of the the freedom and the openness so much as the responsibility aspects, because um if you're drawing parallels to your Hmm.
00:43:17
Speaker
The one thing that i I think at least the thing that people when they talk about, like how wonderful your 20s are, they're not necessarily talking about like the chaos of it, the insecurity of it. What they're talking about is the lack of responsibility.
00:43:32
Speaker
Right. You you didn't have kids. You didn't have a mortgage. Right. Right. ah You maybe you had a cat, but like or a dog, you know, but like that was about it. Your parents were still young enough where you could be like, I'm just going to fucking drop my shit off at your house for a month and fuck off. And now you're coming back around the other side of that where I am now. Now you now you are in a similar position of a lack of of not a lack of, but a completion of responsibility. Yeah, well, yeah. And now you also have the financial ability to like fuck off even harder. But you know what I'm proud of, Eric, is I think as you age, you get fearful and you get complacent and you get set in your ways. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And I feel like Vicky and I are actually going opposite way. We're actually opening the envelope as we age because we see that there's more there if we're open to it. I love that. For example, after the wedding – There's an after party. It's midnight. It's 1230. Vicky's drunk. I'm drunk. We're starving because, by the way, we didn't get the wedding.
00:44:41
Speaker
Right? And we're in this. We're in Prescott, Arizona. And I look at her and we're at the bar with all our new friends and we're having a great time. And I go, I'm starving. I just look at her.
00:44:52
Speaker
I'm starving. And she's like, me too. And I open my phone. I find a pizza place just down the street. And my wife and I at age 50, 50 and 51 are wandering down the street like we're 20 going to get pizza at 1 a.m. Vicky's high five and people on the street that she's passing. She's like loaded. Right. High five. Stay blessed. Yeah.
00:45:19
Speaker
Stay blessed is fucking incredible. And we get to the pizza place. We roll up. And like I just had a moment, which is like, I feel young again. It's like, here we are fucking hobnobbing down some random ass street in some random ass city in Arizona getting pizza at 1 a.m. together. Like, this is not our life for the past 20 years. But like, wow, that felt awesome. Like it just was symbolic of like recapturing the mentality of youth for just a minute.
00:45:53
Speaker
Well, I think I think that is the the linchpin right there. The just a minute like you, you know, in your heart of hearts, like it's wonderful to be open and it's so much fun to like come back and experience it again. Yeah, new. But like.
00:46:06
Speaker
you know that you're not going to be out till 1 a.m. every night for the next five years. like but but You know what I mean? Mickey in bed by 8 p.m. Right, right, right, So like so there's there's a certain, like, what I think you are at the advantage of at this point that we didn't have in our 20s is the self-awareness to notice in the moment how yeah rare and fleeting it is and take it in. Like, drink it in. You know what I mean?
00:46:37
Speaker
And we're going to be with you next Thursday doing the same thing in Philly together. Goddamn right. yeah Because we can. Because we can. Because we could take an extra day off and just fuck around with my boy Eric. Yep. Yep.
00:46:53
Speaker
It's going to be a good ass time too. We got fucking meals planned. going see Mary too, right? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. yeah yeah So the four of us, we going out. It's going to be, we going to be raging. We going to be, we're going to bring this city to his knees. ah You know who brings me to my knees?
00:47:13
Speaker
That was maybe the worst one I've ever done. Praise b w to be WTB. William Teresa Burkle of WTB Woodworking, our Lord and Savior. There's so many things happening at 390 Pike Road in Huntington Valley, Pennsylvania. Let me tell you just a couple of things that are going on real quick.
00:47:36
Speaker
um Let's see. Let's see this. In my defense, i'm listen, I'm going to put Bill on blast right now. In my defense, he sent me this in June, and the entries for this giveaway ended on May 25th. So this one is actually on Bill. um Here's what I'll say about WTB Woodworking, if you don't already know.
00:47:59
Speaker
Bill is the fucking man and you should support his business in person or online. Go buy his wares. And if you are close enough, you can get 10% off all woodturning blanks in store, 10% off all boards in store, and 50% off all slabs in store.
00:48:16
Speaker
you should go fucking take care of that business. I'll tell you that much. And the in-store summer sale for Shaper is from June 17th to July 6th, which is tomorrow, which is not helpful for you guys. So um go support Bill because he's the man.
00:48:34
Speaker
That's not helpful. That's not helpful. But you know what is helpful? Gorillaz.
00:48:41
Speaker
You know why? They make the best fucking glue. Please tell Eric, gorillas helpful? They make the best glue. The good gorillas in the factory at Gorilla Glue. And that's really what I've learned. So what I've learned since my faux pas of suggesting that gorilla glue was made from gorillas. No, no, no. I've learned that it's made by gorillas.
00:48:57
Speaker
It's actually the only company in America that hires at fair wage gorilla workers, which is a thing. You should support. that's such it's listen' You know how hard it is for a fucking gorilla to find employment in this economy?
00:49:14
Speaker
Come You just got us fired. 100% it's over. You should know that Gorilla Wood Glue has less water, more glue, and a stronger bond than the other guys. It dries a natural color with less yellowing, cleans up with water, and is non-foaming. And that bond...
00:49:31
Speaker
It's actually stronger than the wood itself because that is the type of love and care that gorillas put into their glue. Eric, if we were not removed from Gorilla Glue's ah the podcast list before, we 100% are now. If you heard the way Keith approaches it. Like a professional? Professionalism. Nothing. A bunch of gorillas are like a gorilla.
00:49:57
Speaker
Finished his ad read, and then I got a very quick side story for you Please. ahead. Tell us about the wood filler, Paul. Well, I don't use wood filler often, but when I do, my buddy Eric gets a call, and I say, Eric, what do you prioritize when you use wood filler? And Eric's like, well, it's got a sand flat.
00:50:17
Speaker
It's got to look good in terms of a tone and sheen. It's got to match the wood, and it's got to hold up to paint. it's yeah I don't want to see divots. And, well, Eric...
00:50:27
Speaker
Gorilla Glue Wood Filler does all those three things. They sent you and me a nice package of it, two different colors. And you have explained to us that you have used it on multiple occasions already.
00:50:41
Speaker
I have. And it's fantastic. And you should go pick yourself up. um Pick yourself up some at GorillaTough.com slash woodworking is BS. That is without the Southern accent. GorillaTough.com slash woodworking is BS. Gorilla, tough enough for the pros.
00:50:58
Speaker
Easy enough for everyone. I the way you say that. Now, ah we've got we've got a special little... We've got a special guest? A little special guest.
00:51:11
Speaker
Do I have to play a little something to let people know what's up? gi me Give me that sound drop, baby boy. well I'm sorry. What? Oh!
00:51:25
Speaker
The slide. We're gonna slow things down, draw bath, pour some wine, light some candles, because we're sliding into Eric's DMs.
00:51:37
Speaker
Headplant emoji. God, I missed this fucking seg. This is a one-time only banger. And we have the legend herself, Vicky.
00:51:53
Speaker
Hi, everybody. Jasper. are married. I am the Mrs. Jasper, Mrs. Copper Pig. Mrs. Copper Pig. Now, I am a little rusty. i have not used the slide voice in quite some time. Paul, let me tell us to that. We thought it'd be fun to bring the slide back. And I'm reading these live. We thought it'd be fun.
00:52:14
Speaker
We've got a couple for you. Vicki, why don't you, here's here's here's what I think we'd like to do. is We'll have you well have you drop it. We'll have you really hit us with it. Now, Paul has not heard any of these yet. No, he has not. And we can give some advice for folks, whether it was a good slide, whether it was a bad slide.
00:52:33
Speaker
Eric, I think there probably are a lot of listeners who have no idea what we're even talking about. What is the slide? So, in our first, what was it? Five, six episodes of the podcast? Something like that, yeah. In the very early days, we thought it'd be fun. Oh, what were we thinking? We thought it'd be fun do a segment where we reviewed some of the thirsty DMs that appeared in Eric's inbox. Now, listen, listen, I will say. That slide into Eric's The slide into the DMs. Listen, we've maybe not for those of us hosting and listing who have been married since before the days of social media, but for those of us who are not old Vicky. That wasn't a jab at you. That was a jab at Paul.
00:53:25
Speaker
That was a jab at Paul. I just want to be straight up. I have been aggressed upon. but i I took that personally. Well, for those of us, ah we've all slid into a DM, you know, or two in our time. and I mean...
00:53:42
Speaker
No? I guess I did. I slid into her match.com DM. Oh, God. That's a story for another day. we got to get that on the pod. Actually, our marriage is match.com DM. Well, you know what? I stand by what I just said then. so okay Okay. All right. So the slide was the segment where we review some of the messages coming into Eric's inbox. And it was for the first, i don't know, five, six episodes of the podcast. If you want to go back to episodes one through five. Please don't. don't please don't You can hear some of them, but, um, you know, we'll give her, we'll give them some pointers.
00:54:18
Speaker
They're pretty great. You know, and we had Vicky. I i was a hoot back when we recorded these. I got to tell you. We had Vicky put on her sexy bedroom voice, which I never hear per se. Like, this is not how she talks to me, but I wish she did. ah She's going to read some of Eric's more recent DMs. All right. Hit us.
00:54:41
Speaker
Okay. I'm reading these live. I usually get to practice them, but okay, here we go. Excuse me.
00:54:49
Speaker
Need a hot dietician to eat ice cream with this weekend? If so, I'm available Saturday afternoon. Sarcasm and stimulating conversation are free as they come with the package. Winky emoji. However, the Monique lore must be earned with donations of time and sunflowers.
00:55:12
Speaker
What? Winky emoji. Winky sunflower emoji. That's ah it's a little heavy-handed, I feel like. Paul, what do you think? How do you feel about that one? ah so What do I think?
00:55:27
Speaker
So thirsty. It's so thirsty. thirsty.
00:55:36
Speaker
Listen, let's give her That's good. you know that's Or him. we don't We don't know. We don't know. and We don't know. looked like a lady. It looked like the lady kind. Get out of here. i sorry. Yeah, not allowed to see.
00:55:48
Speaker
Okay. ah I mean, wait, wait. Let me see again. Let me see again. I think i mean that's a pretty good shoot your shot, right? It's pretty good. Need hot dietitian to eat ice cream this with this weekend? If so, I'm available. I mean, that's ah one question.
00:56:02
Speaker
If it's a dietician, why is he eating ice cream? She's leading with ice cream. Opening with ice cream. I mean, that's a little counterintuitive, I will say. like eating frozen yogurt doesn't have to say. sarcasm and stimulating conversation are free. Eric, you are sarcastic as fuck. I do love both of those.
00:56:19
Speaker
I mean, you know what? I want to know more about the Monique lore. i like it. Sorry, what's Monique lore? Good question. It's great question. What's Monique lore? Eric? I don't know.
00:56:31
Speaker
Okay. i didn't Listen, I didn't respond to these DMs. Okay. i i know maybe that's moni Maybe that's her name. Maybe she's talking about more about herself. Okay. All right. Oh, okay. Must be earned with donations of time and sunflowers. like I love sunflowers. I give it an A. That's an A. Okay. I think that's an A. Okay. like yeah Yeah. I'll give it an A name minus.
00:56:52
Speaker
It wasn't titulating to me, but I appreciate the effort, you know? Okay. Okay. Vicki? and we two Are we ready to move on to the next one? Hit us with the next one. Okay. Paul, avert your eyes, my good man. Do I do i say the name of the person? No, no, no, no, no. We'll Yeah. it is a it is a It is the boy kind. So here we go.
00:57:13
Speaker
A petition for Eric to do all his woodworking shirtless. One like for this to happen. Sweaty face emoji. Sweaty face emoji. Eric. I can't do any shirtless woodworking. I can't. Why not? Is it not safe?
00:57:29
Speaker
No, it's perfectly. If the camera's off, I'll work shirtless all day long. I can't do that on camera. Don't tease the people. No, no. I mean, you're half shirtless right now. I can't do it for the people but that like people. People don't want to see me shirtless. They want to imagine me shirtless. you know that's ah That's two different things. That's a good you know a good point. you know Well, I would say people don't want to see me shirtless, nor do they want to imagine me shirtless. I don't know. the best content you've ever put on the internet was when you were wearing that extra, extra small Justin t-shirt. So I still think about that.
00:58:04
Speaker
I will say i was at a party last night with all of my ah volleyball friends and I have a whole group of volleyball friends who are gay and one of them drank way too much and kept hitting on me all night. Yeah, he did. You and they were fair. It was refreshing. It's the first time I've been hit.
00:58:23
Speaker
Vicky's unbuttoning my top one. There you go. It's the first time I've been hit on in about a year and half. So was refreshing. It was refreshing. I'm going to give her that one a B minus. I don't think that was good. now yeah That's not it.
00:58:37
Speaker
All right, Vicki, hit us with the next one. Do your eggplant emoji thing. Eggplant emoji. Here's another one. Don't look at the camera. Here we go.
00:58:50
Speaker
Hey, so-and-so. Your product shots are always on point, as are your products, of course. I've been playing around with photography and trying to get better at the craft, and I'm wondering what lens you use. oh Is it a 50mm or a 1.8?
00:59:05
Speaker
That's what I'm likely going to buy. i just thought I'd reach out and see if you have any tips or tricks in that regard. Thanks in advance. and keep Keep it up, man.
00:59:16
Speaker
is that even Is that even a hit? Is that even a pass? Apparently this person slid into your DMs, darling. What? Yeah, that's a screenshot. Wait, what? What? And then you said, you're going to be sorely disappointed with me.
00:59:33
Speaker
And then you said, I used my phone. All right. You had a sexy response back. I don't even remember getting that. I got that DM. That's because I sent that to you in 2018, my man. If anybody ever wants to say, I don't put in the fucking work on this podcast, I scrolled all the way back to the beginning of our friendship. You did the Lord's verse. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. To see what my slide was into your DMs. Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:00
Speaker
Oh, that's your? Yes, Eric said that. Oh my God, Eric, you are the one who sent me that message? That was my slide, baby. That's your first message to me ever? Yup. Oh my God. Did you hit you in the feels? wanted to see how I slid in. Did I have any game? Eric. Oh my God, were you scrolling for like half a billion years? All right, you want know the real fucking story? Two hours to slide back.
01:00:32
Speaker
I started driving and I just had it in my lap and I was just like not looking at it, just scrolling back. I drove all the way home. I packed up for the next day because I had to leave. I walked to the grocery store, bought my groceries, walked back, and I still wasn't done scrolling. Oh my God. You two talk to each other way too much. I know.
01:00:53
Speaker
That's our first contact ever. That's our first slide right there, baby. Oh, dude. the ones are up Look at him. You're cut off. No wonder wanted to know. I wanted to know.
01:01:03
Speaker
And it was all about, I was just so great. I wanted to know what, one what, what lens you used. We do got one more. i use an Eric lens. Go ahead. you can't I'm not, we got one more.
01:01:16
Speaker
m hi I was just introduced to you via the Shop Sounds podcast. I'm originally from Philly also, and sadly, I only got into wordworking after I left, so I never got to meet any local makers.
01:01:29
Speaker
Crying face emoji. Just wanted to say I love your work. And then later, i'd recognize the animal crossing tunnels any day. i designed those back when I was an architect.
01:01:46
Speaker
Mary put in so much work scrolling back. That's Mary's first message? That was the first shot. And you know what?
01:01:56
Speaker
What my favorite part about that is the no response. You didn't respond? no You fucking dick. You're the worst. Mary, if you're listening to this. Mary, I'm so sorry for Eric's behavior. i wanted to go all the way back to the beginning of this pod and figure out how we became friends.
01:02:17
Speaker
And you know what? One of, she had a good, I'll give her slide like a strong, like A minus. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you wanted to figure out how we became friends. So if I were to summarize, I would say you contacted me and I willingly reply. but No problem. Mary contacted you and you fucking ghosted her. Is that how we started? I just, no response. You dick.
01:02:41
Speaker
Oh, Eric, just for absolute Just for a time, I'm going back to see what our first slide Our first DM. um Several crying face laughing emojis, which clearly means that i sent you something hilarious. And then ah then you said, thanks, Vicky, smiley face emoji. And I said, so proud of you. Awesome work. I sound like your mom. Oh,
01:03:06
Speaker
Mom gave you you the reinforcement you needed. Much later, um i said, proof of life check-in. And you said, haven't lost a kidney yet. And I said, keep keep your head on a swivel. So I don't know what that was i don't know what the context is, but I love it with no context. ah Keep your head on a swivel. Oh man. I will say my favorite part of scrolling all the way back through ah almost exactly eight fucking years of overly verbose friendship was the ah copious number of dating stories and check-ins. The the constant, like Paul was like, how'd that third date go? And I was like, yes it's not going to end well. and Nope. I have a feeling that was the context in which I instructed you to keep your high I think that if I'm a gambling man, if I'm a gambling man. you were to lose a kidney, it would be to a random person harvesting it. 100%. Yeah, for the black market. yeah
01:04:01
Speaker
So Vicky. Yeah. While you're here with us. Yes, Today's topic was like, what have you learned from your lessons in life this year? Would you like to share with the listeners kind of what you've learned? Like they heard me, like I told them what I learned, but like, I'm curious if it's similar for you. What did what did you learn this year? Well, in in going over the subject of this podcast the other day, we did have this conversation. yeah So i I think I believe I said things like, um,
01:04:29
Speaker
I used to really tease you about all your friends from the interwebs and all these things you roped me into.
Self-Acceptance and Well-Being
01:04:35
Speaker
And like, and now I don't even bat an eye. Like you were like, we're going to Toronto. And I was like, let's, when, when does our plane land? Like, to can I bring a carry on? I feel like there's so many woodworkers and other like creatives listening who are like, yeah, I did that to my significant other. Yep. Yep. And they just got a roll with it.
01:04:56
Speaker
Um, what other things did I say? i don't know you um I don't know. Georgia? I had a midday margarita. Oh, yeah. Georgia? Well, Georgia, yes. Definitely open to the universe on that one. I manifested that cat. And let me tell you, I had no interest in a cat, but I have always loved orange cats. And I said, the only way I will accept a cat is if the cat distribution system brings one to me. And that is exactly what happened. And she's orange. And so I was like, looks like i own a cat now. Yeah. What are your thoughts about being open to the universe? That's been a big ah topic of tonight. I am a passenger in Paul Jasper's world.
01:05:34
Speaker
And so if he is open to the universe, that means I am open to the universe because I am along for the ride. But it has served us well. ah You're not just a passenger. That that almost diminishes your role.
01:05:47
Speaker
You're more than a passenger. I'm an enthusiastic partner. I think Vicky knows who she is and where she stands. And thank you eric when she wants to get on the Paul Jasper train, she's fucking there for it. Yeah. And and I have seen firsthand where sometimes we're all on the train together and Vicky's like, this is my stop. Good night. Yep.
01:06:07
Speaker
that is That's self-knowledge, that's self-awareness. Like next Thursday when we're all going out, yeah she's like, i'm I'm done, guys. It's 11. Mama's going to bed. I will be dancing on the bar tops and then all of a sudden I'll be like, flashpoint. Within minutes. Yeah.
01:06:23
Speaker
Yep. Seconds. Seconds. What else? What else have I been open to? um Your crazy adventures. You had a message of acceptance of yourself that I thought was profound. So, yeah. Tell a little bit of a story. Okay. Go ahead. So being a girl who was raised in the 80s and 90s, I obsess over every inch and and and bump on my body in terms of like weight and it just the whole thing. I'm, you know, whatever. A child of the 80s, I'm obsessed with like appearance and weight and all that jazz. I exercise. i i eat pretty well. Not today with my midday margarita, but you normally. And so I've been very frustrated because I am now 50 years old and it is not so easy to like cut this and that and you'll drop a few pounds. It doesn't work that way. It's more like you run five miles, you barely eat anything and you maintain your weight. so my moment of acceptance was...
01:07:22
Speaker
I shifted my thinking into being like, listen, you can move your body comfortably and and and and make it do anything you want it to do. So you can exercise and run and swim and do all those things with little to no pain. um i am I am a healthy weight. Nobody's telling me I'm unhealthy or anything. I have taken care of all like the health things like cholesterol and all that stuff, like all that's good. So I've shifted my thinking into being like,
01:07:50
Speaker
You need to focus on what is working well. And, you know, you can, you have an able body and you are healthy and the people you love are healthy. And every morning you can wake up and you have a choice of what you want to do and you have no pain in your body. And that's why I've shifted my way of thinking. Shifted from like obsessing about like, I need to lose weight. I need to run this much so that I, you know, blah, blah, blah. To I accept myself the way I am. Yes. Because the way I am, it may not be exactly what I want in every way, but it's pretty damn good pretty damn by most measures. Exactly. Exactly.
01:08:22
Speaker
So yes, so there's been a moment of like sort of shifting my thinking that way. That's fucking fantastic, dude. I love that. so Thank you. Thank you for therapizing with me. This is what we do.
01:08:34
Speaker
i see gar Yeah, yeah. What else? What else have I? No, that that's a good one. No, did stay on that. That's a good one. And I think for you and me, it's age related because you don't quite have a choice. No, I don't really have a choice. So I'm sort of like, you should probably just shift your thinking because you'd just be. But it speaks to an idea of appreciation and gratitude for what you do. So it's an abundance mindset versus a scarcity mindset. You're focusing on more of what you do have versus what you don't have, which I think is always great way to the world. And can honestly tell you, at 50 years old, I am in better physical shape than I was when I was 25. Oh, you're stronger than you've ever been. I'm stronger. Yeah. Don't be scared of the guns. Don't be scared of the guns. We can't sing any more of that song. We don't have the licensing. We can't make that happen.
01:09:24
Speaker
But yes, I am i am healthy and ah and that's really all that matters. So yeah, that's my thought. You did say you were a passenger in my world, which is not exactly true because I do ton of shit you want Paul, we're all a passenger in your world. Oh, stop it. I mean, but seriously. What, are you doing bees with me? Why did we go to the Grand Canyon, bro?
01:09:46
Speaker
Yeah. Why did we do like, why am I a beekeeper now? Because you look so cute in the bee suit. That's not why I'm a beekeeper now. Why am I beekeeper now? I think we should wear our beekeeping suits and do the podcast. I was about to say sounds like Sounds like you want to hear that slide voice. You better put that fucking beekeeper suit on, buddy. That's right.
01:10:07
Speaker
Us bumping uglies in those bee suits. I'm horny. I am.
01:10:17
Speaker
Oh Christ. So thirsty.
Flirtatious DMs and Intrigue
01:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, that's it. Well, Eric. ah Love it, buddy boy. we revisited the the slide and boy, that did not disappoint.
01:10:28
Speaker
I mean, what else do you want out of life? We got some overly horny slides. right and we And we got some sentimental slides, you know? oh that was really nice. That was sweet. Paul was very touched. He was thoroughly confused for about a minute there. He kept looking at my phone and he was like, who said that?
01:10:44
Speaker
What is that? like Yeah, I'm like, that's not that's not sliding into the Z. That's not like a sexual advance. And I was like, oh, it's from Eric. How did you know it wasn't? It was a long con, buddy. I'm still working up to the courage. We are going to get together this coming Thursday. My lord. I can't wait to meet Teddy C. Oh, God damn right. He's he's excited to
Vicky's Experience with Pit Bulls
01:11:07
Speaker
meet you, dude. Oh, Eric, let's ask Vicky the same question you started with today. What's that? Okay. Yeah, let's end on this. You do it. so So I was articulating. It's just an interesting observation, seeing how people react to pit bulls as I have them on the leash. You know, we walk around or at the park. runs up to meet another dog and in not everybody, but a lot of people will kind of like, sharp you'll see them balk a little bit. What has been your experience with pit bulls? And have you like genuinely, you don't have to have to like tell me that Teddy's perfect and wonderful.
Biases and Perceptions of Pit Bulls
01:11:41
Speaker
Like if, have you ever had a negative experience with a pit bull and has that colored yay or nay, um how you view pit bulls?
01:11:51
Speaker
So I am obsessed with animals and I'm really obsessed with dogs. So I've always loved dogs. And in fact, as you were talking, I was thinking about all the pit bulls I've met in my life. And I was just thinking like the happiest thoughts. In my experience and the pit bulls I have come across, they are the happiest, goofiest love bugs.
01:12:12
Speaker
And they definitely have a bad rap. And it's not the dog, it's the owner that makes those dogs. vicious in those cases. But my experience has been they are just goofy love bugs.
01:12:26
Speaker
When people have a bias or they see a dog or a pit bull coming towards them and they sort of like have a bias, they may recoil. Do you think that bias is...
01:12:38
Speaker
Fair and founded because like, Hey, you know, like it's fair. Like experience has told me a big dog that's capable, that has power and I should be careful. Or do you think biases are, are more unhelpful? Do you, do you have a feeling how like,
01:12:54
Speaker
Biases inherent in you play into situations like this? I mean, I'm sure biases play into certain situations, but speaking specifically about the dog, when I'm running or walking out in the community, if somebody is walking their dog, big, small, tiny, large Whatever.
01:13:12
Speaker
I always give the dog space. Always. It doesn't matter if it's a pit bull. It doesn't matter if it's a Labrador. It doesn't matter if it's a Chihuahua. I give the dog space because i don't know how that dog's going react. But like, does that make does that make me in the eyes of those owners, like somebody who's being respectful? Maybe. Yeah, like they they could fear you as like, oh, they're fearful or it could be, oh, they're respectful. Yeah. It's just based on that person's bias. I try to always smile and make eye contact with the owner and smile at the dog or whatever to indicate like- Sure, sure, sure. not you. it's I'm just being respectful of the dog's face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. but so yeah, I don't, I mean, I'm-
01:13:52
Speaker
Look, there are people that are afraid of dogs. And there's people that have been attacked And there are people that have been attacked by dogs. so like But but even even to that point, it is an interesting point. And I think about that sometimes when I see people cross the street. It's like sometimes, whatever, you got something in your hand or or you know you have a small kid. like it might not You might not have the time to like your three-year-old wants to pet the dog. and you're like, we got shit to do. We got taking yeah places to go. yeah um So I get all of those things.
01:14:20
Speaker
But in and I do think I'm particularly sensitive to it because pit bulls have the reputation. Yeah, um i I saw that a lot with Huckleberry too. But Huck was a St. Bernard and a lot of people are afraid of just massive dogs. And he 130 pounds, you know? Yeah. So I don't know. It's just the thing I observe, you know, interesting.
Surprises and Misconceptions
01:14:39
Speaker
And I'm not saying it's good or bad. um The ones that do have overtly negative reactions at the dog park. I'm like, you guys can go fuck yourselves. Well, yeah, you're golden doodle too. Yeah, exactly. Everyone who owns a golden doodle just got upset. I don't hate the golden doodle.
01:14:56
Speaker
I will say, though, um I had no idea Teddy was ah a pit bull. I thought he was a lab. a lot of people do. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, I wouldn't. Actually, I thought he was a lab, too. Yeah, I thought he was a lab. Well, so we didn't get into the conversation about the prong collar and how that affects people's perception of him, which might be an interesting one. Maybe that's an after show talk. talk that Okay. yeah yeah You have a spiked collar on him?
01:15:18
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I didn't realize that. We can talk about that. That'll be an interesting chat. Are you trying to intimidate people, you dick? Yeah, I'm a dick. He's in leather-studded collar. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I actually just put foam in the corners of his mouth, too. Yeah, you just brush it on with a toothbrush. Little people know he just had pop cup. Yeah.
01:15:40
Speaker
He's not vicious
Reflecting on Biases and Privilege
01:15:41
Speaker
at all. All right, y'all. With that, we're going to wrap this up. We hope you think about inherent biases. like I didn't know these were going to be the topics today, so we're kind of shooting from the hip here, but I didn't know we were going to be talking about inherent biases. I think I need to think about that topic a lot more because the scientist in me says biases are there based on experience or for a reason, but they've been largely mishandled in many ways. I need to think about this a lot. Eric, thanks for bringing that topic up.
01:16:13
Speaker
And the second topic was being open to the universe, yeah which I will continue to try and see. It is predicated on a position of privilege, but I do think there is a way i could have done it even when I was younger and didn't have such privilege per se. Anyway, hope you've enjoyed this episode of Barstool Confessions and we'll see in the after show. And thanks to Vicky for coming back.
01:16:37
Speaker
Eggplant emoji. That was live. That was live. the dome. Bye. Bye.