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Motivation - is is a lie?
47 Plays10 months ago
Today I'm answering the most asked question I get from women. How do I get (and stay) motivated to exercise? Moms, we know it's important, yet we put ourselves last on the daily. And the secret is that lack of showing up for yourself bleeds itself into your daily life in other important areas too! Here's how to combat it, fabulously - like a mother.
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Transcript
Introduction to Motivation and Presence
00:00:14
Speaker
Today we're talking all about motivation and showing up. How do you show up in the world? And this is one thing that I get comments on all the time. If you watch my social media or friends of mine, if you know anything about me, I'm constantly like showing people my workouts and it's not because I'm trying to be some fitness influencer. It's not because I'm like, look at me, I'm working out.
00:00:37
Speaker
but because i hope that it inspires other people other moms especially to take care of themselves it is so important for us to put ourselves first to fill that bucket to eat the frog to you know all the acronyms and all of that right but it's important for us to take care of ourselves because
00:00:57
Speaker
If we're not taking care of ourselves, then we can't, we can't take care of others. We've heard that before. Put your oxygen mask on first, the whole thing.
Inspiring Self-Care through Social Media
00:01:06
Speaker
But what I really, really want to hone in is where you are right now is not locked in.
00:01:13
Speaker
So if you're feeling unmotivated, stressed out, it's never gonna happen. If you want to work out, if you want to take care of yourself better, if it's something like take a bath every night, practice more self-care, that kind of thing. And if you're just like, I cannot find the time to do this,
00:01:32
Speaker
I'm going to come, I mean, look, I said, I've said this before, I'm a little tough, loving a little bit cheerleader-y. So I'm going to come out hard and say, you're not prioritizing that time. I'm a busy mom. I'm homeschooling one kid. I've got another in high school. We, we're on algebra for hours every night, you know, back and forth to, to, to activities and all the things. So I get it. And at the same time, I really make for me that shows up in my workouts. So.
00:02:01
Speaker
I make that an absolute priority. First thing in the morning, I get that done. And if I don't get it done by 9am, I feel like, oh my gosh, my date. But I started even adding a little 20 minute leisurely right on the bike in most evenings.
00:02:16
Speaker
lately for the last month and I've noticed a huge difference in my mood, my sleep, my everything. And I'm not pushing, it's not even considered a full workout, but it's just 20 minutes on my spin bike at home, leisurely ride. I do one of the scenic rides that's there and I put on like, let's go to France today or Italy or Ireland. I'm going all these exotic places and I'm just riding my bike and looking at the scenery.
Workouts as a Reflection of Life's Challenges
00:02:43
Speaker
It's replaced the glass of wine I was having for all of the holidays November and December at night and now I'm I'm doing that so this is one thing that I'm going to talk about today is I find and I am someone who is a personal trainer and group fitness instructor so fitness is a huge part of my life.
00:03:02
Speaker
There are three ways that I can tell how you are currently showing up in the world. And this is changeable, but currently showing up based on how you show up in the hardest part of your workout. And this is the meat and potatoes of what I'm going to talk about today. So I'm real excited to share with you. Let's pretend that you are out for a jog or
00:03:22
Speaker
you're in a fitness class or even just you're in bed in the morning, the alarm goes off and you have a goal to get to the gym. We can talk goals like we all know how to set goals. We know how to make smart goals. I feel like if you're watching this podcast, you're listening to this podcast that you know goals, but it might be in the follow through. How often do we reach those goals? How often do we work for those goals every single day? So let's pretend that you have a goal to go for a run or go to a class at the gym.
00:03:51
Speaker
And the alarm goes off or you're at the gym and the instructor says everybody's favorite word burpees or you're out for a jog and you hit a big hill, whatever that we call it the crux in rock climbing, right? The hardest part of the climb.
00:04:08
Speaker
Whatever that hardest part is, if it's for people, most people, 80% of the battle is just getting there, getting to the gym, getting to the workout, getting out the door. That's 80% of the battle. Just if you can just show up, you're going to feel better at the end, right? So let's say the alarm goes off and you're in bed or you're at class and the instructor says burpees, you come to that hill. Do you A, say to yourself,
00:04:32
Speaker
You know, no one would blame me if I just went around this hill or I didn't really do the burpees or I don't have to get out of bed right now. I can do it tomorrow, maybe.
00:04:48
Speaker
Let me say that's showing up in other areas of your life.
Overcoming Excuses and Setting Goals
00:04:52
Speaker
Are you giving excuses as to why A or B or C is not working in your life? Why you're not going for that promotion? Why you're not asking for the raise? Why you're not quitting your job and starting the business you've always wanted to or starting a side hustle to eventually work your way out of the business or doing the things
00:05:07
Speaker
that you really want to do, that are the bigger goals, the why behind the why, you're giving yourself excuses as to why you can't. And with moms, a lot of the time this shows up in, and it has for me as well, shows up in my kids need me, but my kids, but my kids, but there's this and there's that and the schedule and the appointments and I get it. I do. I get it. So hear me out. Are you
00:05:32
Speaker
the person who when you come to that hill or the instructor says burpees or the alarm goes off you hit it hard and you sprint up that hill and you go for those burpees and you're going as hard as you possibly can and then you crash and burn at the end maybe you get to that hill and you're like i just i can't even get home man i that was a big hill i sprinted and i can't get one word and you got nothing left
00:05:58
Speaker
Is that showing up in overwhelm in your life? Are you taking on too much? Are you the person that is you know, PTA president and room mom and works a full time job and throws all the slumber parties and doesn't say no to anything and handles all the finances in the laundry and all the things? Are you burning out? Do you go go go go go until life makes you crash and burn? That shows up in sports and injury. It shows up in
00:06:24
Speaker
you maybe when you get sick, you get sick, right? It takes you down. You can't like fight that cold off. It just takes you down, right? There is the third way we can show up, which is the person who can pace themselves to the top of the hill can do those burpees at whatever level it is. I have burpees where there's no jumping in the classes that I teach, right? So any level
00:06:44
Speaker
or maybe the person that gets out of bed, has their stuff set out so they know they're ready to go and you can absolutely get to that class and pace yourself throughout the class and have more to give throughout the day. That's the sweet spot, right? That's where we want to be. So when we are looking at motivation,
00:07:02
Speaker
what we have to be is excited about it we have to find something excites us now that class the gym does not excite you if working out at home does not excite you if the the you know jog or run does not excite you don't do that find something that does.
00:07:18
Speaker
That's motivation. Maybe you're not unmotivated. You just don't like that thing. That's fine. I have no desire to ever do a triathlon. I have friends that are triathletes. I cheer them on. I support the heck out of them. I have zero desire to do a triathlon. I'm not going to train for one. I'm not going to do that to myself, right?
00:07:38
Speaker
The other thing that helps with motivation is making something routine. Making it routine. I mentioned this evening bike rides I've been doing. That is swapped, this nightly glass of wine that I was really having a, because it was the holidays and I felt like, okay, let's just get through. It was my first holidays without my mom. My mom passed away last March. So it was a bit hard. However, sometimes I was just like bored.
00:08:04
Speaker
Like, well, I guess I'll have a glass of wine because I might as well do something to make me feel good. I've swapped that now with that 20 minute leisurely ride on the bike. I stay in zone two cardio. I don't get out of control. It's not a push. It's not even a real hard workout. I just ride.
00:08:20
Speaker
And it's changed my mood and then I don't even want this glass of wine at night. So am I doing that because I'm just intrinsically motivated? No, I've started a swap that makes me feel good and excites me. Okay. And it's become a routine for me. I don't do it seven nights a week, but most nights out of the week, if I miss a night, I'm okay. If my kids have Wednesday nights are crazy, my kids are in two different places and I got to be in two different places in San Diego traffic.
00:08:46
Speaker
I'm not going to get on the bike and torture myself if I don't. I'm just going to let Wednesday ride. Okay? So it's okay.
Staying Motivated: Tools and Techniques
00:08:56
Speaker
The other thing you can do that I love a good checklist. I love, I will make my checklist for the things that I know I need to do. And I love, even if I do other things that aren't on the list, I will write them on the list just so I can check them off.
00:09:12
Speaker
I'm constantly going through my kids' schoolwork, and they hate the checklist, but I will make a checklist and be like, check this off when you did it. That way, mom knows you've done it, and I'm not stressing about how many missing assignments we might have, right? You can track your progress. I love data. I have my watch. I have an armband that connects to my bike. I'll wear both when I'm working out at home. I'll turn my watch on.
00:09:37
Speaker
The bikes that I teach on the spin bikes that I teach on at the gym have a little data thing that we can track distance. We can track miles this distance. We can track calories. I don't think that's very accurate on a gym spin bike, but we can track calories. We can track watts. We can track so much. And I tell them all the time, you can ignore it if it overwhelms you, but I like tracking that data.
00:10:01
Speaker
And maybe the data for you is just check off how many days this week you did that, how many days you went for a walk before dinner or after dinner, how many days, how much water you drank, how much weight is on the scale, but how much weight you lifted
00:10:19
Speaker
I like to track, okay, I went from this many pounds and bicep curls to this many pounds over the month, right? I love seeing that. That motivates me. Taking pictures motivates me. And no one else has to see the pictures. They're for you, right? You can put them in a little folder in your phone that is totally private and nobody ever, ever needs to see. But for me, that motivates me seeing progress.
00:10:44
Speaker
The scale will lie to women, so I like measurements, I like pictures, and I like tracking how much weight I'm lifting. Even if you go from one pounds to two pounds, that's, is that 100% or 50%? Somebody who's a math teacher, tell me, I think it's 100% increase, right? Okay, so that's amazing, right?
00:11:07
Speaker
Maybe it's how far you walked. Today, I went a mile when last week I was going a half a mile. That's great. That's progress. That's tracking. That's motivating for a lot of people. So find what motivates you. Track the progress. Find a way to track your progress. One of the most important things you can do to be quote unquote motivated is to have accountability.
00:11:33
Speaker
Recruit a friend, tell people, put it out there, tell the Facebook land, I'm going on a walk, I'm going to this gym class, I'm gonna hike this mountain, these are my goals, who wants to come with me? Or someone hold me accountable, have a friend text you at five in the morning if that's what time your alarm is going off to go to the gym, did you make it, are you going? Recruit a friend, working on is always more fun with friends, it just is, it just is. So, recruit a friend, bring them along, tell others, or hire a coach.
00:12:03
Speaker
There's no better accountability than putting your money on the line, right? Maybe you hire a personal trainer for a month and they show you a bunch of exercises to do. You can see the progress and then you know what to do. Maybe you hire them for a second month. Maybe you don't. Maybe they have an eight week thing. Maybe they have, you know, one off things, but hire a coach. Okay. And.
00:12:25
Speaker
And the most, most important thing, accountability, but also you gotta have fun with it. I like to make it a bit of a game of like, how can I do better today than I did yesterday? How can I be just a little bit better than I was before? Make it a game and have fun because isn't that what life's about? Like, don't we get to model that for our children, moms, right? That A, I'm gonna take care of myself. And if it's a workout at home, hey, give me 20 minutes. Don't bother me.
00:12:55
Speaker
20 minutes, have your tablet, whatever it is that you can go read your book, play with your friends, whatever it is that you want the kids to do, maybe it's while they're doing their homework, if they can do it independently and they don't need help with the algebra, right? Maybe they're on Roblox or whatever, whatever that is that works for you to give you that time
00:13:20
Speaker
Give me 20 minutes. Maybe it's when they're at school or before you got to get everybody ready. If you can get up early or evening workouts are actually known to help people sleep
Benefits of Evening Workouts and Life Balance
00:13:31
Speaker
better. I get asked, when's the best time of day to work out? My answer is always, when is the time that you have? It doesn't matter if it's 5 AM, 5 PM, 8 PM, do some yoga, do something to move your body.
00:13:46
Speaker
Make you feel better and then you'll feel better in the morning and then your whole next day, right? But also there is research that states that your change in body temperature Okay from going up when you're working out to when it cools off actually helps you sleep better
00:14:03
Speaker
So if you enjoy working out at night, great. And there's research that says it can actually help you sleep better. I've noticed a difference with my evening bike rides. I'm doing that before I eat dinner. I'll put dinner in while it's cooking and that's why it's 20 minutes. And then I'll, you know, while the chicken is cooking or what salmon or whatever I've got, I don't have to touch it. I'll go and I'll do it. Or if my husband is home, I'll let him handle that and I can do the bike.
00:14:30
Speaker
Those are my tips for motivation. How are you showing up in the world? Do you give yourself the excuses? Do you take on too much and burn out? Or have you found that balance? Now I have been all three, you're not stuck in one. You're not, I've been all three. I can tell you, man, that sweet spot when I find that balance, whew, life is good, right? So can you find the balance? We can talk about saying no, setting boundaries.
00:14:55
Speaker
All of that on more episodes, but thank you so much for
Encouraging Growth and Interaction
00:14:59
Speaker
listening. I would love for you to comment and like get in touch with me, follow my social and let me know which one you are like right now. And if that's something you want to change what you want to do about it, right? Because isn't that we're always growing. We're always learning. We're always able to get better and change and everything. So I would love to hear from you if you
00:15:23
Speaker
are going, oh man, I am person A or person B, or I'm in that sweet spot with person C right now and I want to stay there. How can I do that? Help me, right? Thank you so much for listening. Please follow my social, charlamandare.happy on Instagram. That's where I am the most. Thank you so much for listening. And I have an amazing guest on the next episode. See you soon.