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The Murder Shed At The Fairgrounds (Also Fast X spoilers) with Hardway Heeter image

The Murder Shed At The Fairgrounds (Also Fast X spoilers) with Hardway Heeter

Predetermined: A Pro Wrestling Hangout
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65 Plays3 years ago

This week Garrett and Chris are joined by Hardway Heeter! Heads up, halfway throught the show the boys give a spoiler warning and have a spoiler filled chat about Fast X. But this is a fun one, they're chatting haunted HAM radios, Rob Blacks wedding, melty face Sting and more!

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Transcript

Introduction and Nostalgia

00:00:34
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Predeterminate Pro Wrestling Hangout. I'm your host, Garrett Callender, and with me, as always, Chris Miggs, and a very special guest, former co-host of the show, Hardway Heater. Hi, kisses. It's good to see you, bud. This is the first time I've seen you since the last time you were on the show, actually. Yeah, yeah. That sucks. We also did that one like a little bit old school. We did that one inside your house.
00:01:05
Speaker
Yeah, this is a technology, baby. Yeah. I will also readily admit that I was quite drunk by the end of that episode. Was that when we were watching Chris wrestle on the gym mats? Yeah. Yep. I was saying, I didn't after that, didn't you guys, didn't you attend a death match right after that? But maybe you guys haven't seen each other since then.
00:01:31
Speaker
Oh, yeah, we did see we saw you saw I saw you at the K.O. vacation. That's true. That's God damn. That was fun. That was fun. We need we need some more of those at the Cobra and we need just more wrestling in Nashville. Hey, I'm working on it. I guarantee it's a second chance at meeting Sawyer wreck. Yeah, I also may need a third and a fourth, but he needs at least a second.
00:02:01
Speaker
Yeah, we'll start with two. And I'll just, we'll just slowly but surely, I'll just book her and we will just call it the obligatory and obligated booking of show your rec for Derek Callender. You know, we're gonna be friends eventually. And that last one, I feel like it was a very shy, awkward meeting on both of our parts. And I think it's gonna be just as bad the next time. So I think he's right. I need four try.
00:02:32
Speaker
By type four or five, you'll be able to get more than a couple sentences out. So I saw that you were fighting a lady soon in a death match.

Strategies and Venues

00:02:43
Speaker
Yep. Sarah Docks for AWR. In the photograph, she appeared to be much smaller than you. I believe that she is much smaller than me. What's your game plan going in to hit a lady with glass or barbed wire or whatever?
00:03:03
Speaker
I believe the match was called the last motherfucker standing match. Yes. Um, I think that my plan is to break some glass over. We'll start there. That's the first thing we'll do. And the second thing we're going to do is I'm going to break some more glass over her. And then the third thing I'm going to do is.
00:03:26
Speaker
I'm gonna probably get glass broken over me, but that doesn't matter because I have two times that I broke glass over her. So I think I'm gonna win this match. She seems to be about, from my view, about 5'4 and about 110 pounds soaking wet. So, I mean, I'm 6'3 and I weighed about 215, so.
00:03:52
Speaker
I don't know. Small angry ladies can be very scary sometimes though. You got to be careful. You got to be careful. They're crafty. As a person who is married to a small angry lady. Yes.
00:04:08
Speaker
So is it still in the place that all the deathmatch fuckery happened at a few years ago? Is it that murder shed at a fairground? No, this one's at like, from what I'm understanding, a pretty upstanding venue.
00:04:29
Speaker
that they've somehow tricked these people into letting us use bus glass all over the place. I feel like a lot of those venues are probably one and done venues where like you act really nice to get in and then like two thirds of the, like not even two thirds, probably 15 minutes into the show they're like, we fucked up. But all these people are buying booze.
00:04:55
Speaker
Yeah, right, right. They're super happy with the bar sales. I will say, that sounds like a film, the murder shed at the fairgrounds. It's like a deathmatch film starring, starring Jimmy Lloyd. Yeah. But Jimmy Lloyd as the protagonist, like he's just trying, he's just trying to get out of there. Like he's like, he's like, I don't have the deposit for the building.
00:05:24
Speaker
I have to get out of here before they send John Wayne after me to kill me. I think his story is actually going to be similar to me and our pal Tag when we went to see Heater in Indiana. As we're pulling up to the fairgrounds, we see a sign that says ham fest and we're like, fuck yeah. There's also ham happening here. We pull up and we're like, where's the ham? And they're like, oh, it's ham radios.
00:05:49
Speaker
And there's never been a bigger disappointment. And the fact that ham radio people aren't self-aware enough to have some sort of ham food truck, where it's like, aren't we wacky? We're the ham radio people, but we also eat ham. Fuck you guys. Yeah. What an awful group of people. And why do you get a special license plate? How do the ham people get the special license plate? How do I get the ham license plate? Does that just pay a couple bucks or do I actually have to be in the club?
00:06:18
Speaker
Good question. You have to show that you know how to use a ham radio. There's like a proficiency test at the DMV. My friend actually, they bought a house and they found this weird room in the basement and they realized it was like a ham radio room that like the old owner was just very into ham radios. It was really creepy. Not as creepy as the murder shed at the fairgrounds, but
00:06:47
Speaker
But maybe in the basement of the murder shed at the fairgrounds is the ham radio room, which is where John Wayne traps our protagonist Jimmy Lloyd.
00:07:00
Speaker
Oh my God, oh my God, wait, wait, wait. And it's a, I can't remember, the movie was called Frequency, I believe. And it was about a, about a ham radio that a guy could talk to his dad in the past. And so Jimmy Lloyd's able to get on that ham radio and talk to his father, Robert De Niro. There you go. Am I screwed, dad? Little bit, little bit. Little bit.
00:07:31
Speaker
Before we move on real quick, I do need to show something. Kaboom! Oh, for those who can't see this, Garrett has a prime. A lemonade prime. I finally found one. And you know how much it costs? Two dollars. Two dollars. You know where I found it? Randomly walking down the paper towel aisle at the grocery store. A discarded prime. The only one.
00:08:00
Speaker
Do you realize that that prime, a hard decision was made. They wanted the prime, but paper towel needed to happen? I'm pretty sure what happened was little kid who loves Logan Paul was following mom around saying, can I please get this prime? And she said, you can't have the prime. And he sat it down in the paper towel aisle. Serendipity sent me to that aisle. And for the first time in two months, I get to drink a prime.
00:08:28
Speaker
Now, I wanna know, Garrett, can you taste the tears of that child on the edge of the prime? I can taste them, and actually I can hear them. I hear them, and then I hear Logan Paul saying, rate, review, subscribe, and ring the bell for notifications. It's like this prime's like a ham radio here. Jimmy Lloyd's in here. What's he saying?
00:08:58
Speaker
He main evented a GCW this weekend and he bled all over the place.
00:09:05
Speaker
Yeah, again, I assume just because it was a death match and he could only, they couldn't follow that. By the way, one of the weirdest GCW venues is the Detroit venue where they do terribly dangerous things with people who seem way too close to the ring.

Unique Experiences and Merchandise

00:09:21
Speaker
Like it seems like a tiny, tiny room and they're like, like there was a hood foot match there, one of the other shows where it was just like, there was just glass like literally on top of the audience. And you're like, this can't be something
00:09:34
Speaker
That's okay. Either. Have you ever injured an audience member accidentally with plunder? Not to my knowledge. That's not your fucking problem. Oh, I mean, I guess I can't say that I've bled on audience members before. Sure. Of course. Pretty sure I have bled on you. Yeah. At my home and at bars, you know. Yeah. So lemonade flavor prime. Yeah. Like.
00:10:05
Speaker
I don't think I oversold how good the ice pop was, but I can't remember cause it's been so long. This is very good. It tastes like a lemonade, 25 calories. This is, I want more of these and I can't wait in two months to have another. Are you saying that Logan Paul doesn't miss?
00:10:27
Speaker
I mean, you've seen his fucking wrestling matches. He's had like five wrestling matches and they're all five stars. He should retire. Yeah. Or he should keep going and be the greatest wrestler of all time. So Chris, you've been holding out on me on a story. I was in, so I,
00:10:54
Speaker
I was in Mexico. I always saw the Jimmy Lloyd mess. I got home, everyone else went to bed. I was like, I guess I'll turn the GCW show on. And I was like, why is Jimmy Lloyd on right now? I thought this was the main event of the time. You rushed home from the airport to make sure to catch the Jimmy Lloyd mess. Well, actually, two things, Gary. So first, I think I sent you guys three pictures of things I saw at Mexican markets. One of them was a,
00:11:23
Speaker
a license plate style thing that said, and I quote, forever bitch. It was right above one that said sex machine and below one that said, I love music. Three statements all true. Three statements all true. I also sent you a picture of a wrestling ring that has scenes from the movie Cars on it. Yeah.
00:11:52
Speaker
and a wrestling ring featuring characters from the movie Toy Story. And I told you that I acquired one of these three things. What do you think that one is? What do you think that one is? Toy Story is the better movie. I think you came home with Cars. Incorrect. Toy Story. My kid loves Toy Story. Incorrect. Forever Bitch.
00:12:16
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't I didn't bring that one home. I bought I bought that one for for my mom. I love my mom. I don't know what that is. Sorry, mom, if you're listening to this, she's not listening to this, I guarantee it. It came with two action figures that appear to be
00:12:40
Speaker
I don't I don't even know how you describe them. They're gray, but with like painted like yellow kind of faces with like a black line. They're like like trooper characters from some like off brand Star Wars movie or something. But my daughter loved the we were playing with it. We had a good time. She was happy with the purchase.
00:13:03
Speaker
She immediately decided that her verse, and there was two of the same figure, to be clear. She immediately decided that hers was Kyle Fletcher, and I had to make mine, I tried to go for a mass wrestle. I went with Bandito. I don't know if she knows who that is, but he did some flips and it was nice. But the really good story, Garrett, that I got while I was in Mexico. So I was in Mexico because
00:13:30
Speaker
Some friends of mine run a music festival and, uh, we're hanging out. And after they introduced me to this guy, they were doing some songwriting with this guy, Mark. He said, Hey, I'm like, Oh, where are you from, man? He's like, Oh, I'm, I'm from Charleston, West Virginia. And I was like, Oh, that's interesting. And I stopped myself. I said, I'm not going to be weird and ask questions about West Virginia and all these things. It's too strange. And I had to stop myself multiple times over the course of the weekend.
00:14:00
Speaker
And at one point they played a show and I was talking afterwards and they played a song I know he'd written on called High Roller Room. And it's about like being at a casino. And I said, man, that's a really, that's a really, really liked that song. Man, I really, really liked that song. And he's like, you know, it's interesting. I wrote that at a dog track at a casino in Crosslanes, West Virginia.
00:14:29
Speaker
Shut the fuck up. And I just broke down and I was like, okay. I have to explain some things to you. My friends and I, we went to this wrestling show. We found this man named Beastman.
00:14:42
Speaker
Don't linger too much on that, but he's amazing. You should check him out. We started watching videos of him on YouTube. And then we started watching him wrestle in Barnes and Buffalo Wild Wings parking lots in West Virginia. And we were considering going down there. I think we're definitely going to go down there. And oh, by the way, oh, by the way, I think we might stay at this casino. So please, please tell me everything about this casino.
00:15:05
Speaker
So, okay. So first of all, the dog track is delightful. Um, he said, uh, the prime rib for two surprisingly good. Um, he most actually most important thing he was like, it's totally safe to stay there as like the reviews are very bad. And he's like, no, it's totally fine. Um, he, uh, here's my favorite fun fact that he provided. So the end of the chorus, um,
00:15:32
Speaker
is the chemical clouds cover the moon, getting low down in the high roller room. And he's like, oh, what's that? And he's like, well, the next town over is a place called, and I quote, chemical Valley. And there's so many chemicals that the moon is red. Yes.
00:15:59
Speaker
That's going to be beautiful in the Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot. I think it is. You're like in the next lyric was toothless, toothless, Ruth sucking and fucking. Oh, so that's another point, Garrett. I asked, I was like, so I got to ask, how's the band Toothless Ruth? And he's like, fucking terrible. He actually saw them. Oh, he's seen. He's like, I've seen Toothless Ruth many times. They're not very good. They're not good at all. Small world.
00:16:28
Speaker
Peter, you want to go to West Virginia with us and eat at a Buffalo Wild Wings and stay in the presidential suite of a casino? I think that sounds delightful. Let me see if I can get booked in the Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot.
00:16:45
Speaker
That's not a bad idea. I bet they'd be happy to have you. You know, bring the gear, you put it in the trunk. Maybe you help put the ring together and they're like, actually, we do have a spot for you. Surprise, surprise, heater versus beast man. That'd be amazing. That'd be amazing. I mean, I know, listen, I know that the beast man is, he's going to take me down.
00:17:11
Speaker
But what I will say is that I will also fight to have three managers. There you go. Be accompanied to the ring by the predetermined boys. Well, we discussed recently that maybe Heater, you needed Garrett as your little guy. I like that. I like that. You want to come feed my little guy on the run? I kind of do want to be your little guy a little bit, yeah.
00:17:43
Speaker
Hey, let's figure it out. But I'm gonna need you to dress like Scott Khan in, and ready to rumble. Like the full blown like zoot suit with the matching hat. I'm just imagining you going heel in Chattanooga heater and being like, you gotta go, you gotta go get him little guy. And it's, and you make Garrett hit Mittens with a light two.
00:18:15
Speaker
I'm tired of your shit mittens. I brought my own mittens. Oh my God. This is, I can't wait for this trip. When you were talking a bit ago about the wrestling ring you bought and the figures that were inside,
00:18:37
Speaker
It made me, did either of you see the Sting snow globe that was sold this week from AEW? I saw pictures of it, yes. I had two different friends that told me like, I need to get this, like this is really cool. But then if you zoom in on Sting's face, let me see if I can find the photo real quick to send you guys. It looks like Sting is melting, is sort of the photo vibe.
00:19:04
Speaker
Well, it's been pulled from the website. I can tell you that because I went to try to see AWW and it's gone. Guys, I think we need to fix this rendering. I do like that they stylized the 404 error on the AWW page. Putting in that little bit of extra touch. Yeah, you know.
00:19:32
Speaker
I mean, they don't do it with the actual, they don't do it with the actual merchandise, but the website is top notch. Oh, they did. I'm so dirty with the hairline too. Okay. So I had to, somebody sent me the link a long time ago and now I'm, I just had to screenshot it and super zoom in. Yeah. No, it looks, it really looks like he's going deeply bald.
00:19:58
Speaker
Not only is he bald like, you know, like the George Costanza bald, like this isn't a man who, I mean, he's terrifying in this photo, but he is, I don't know, what happened to this guy? This guy's not right. Like, wow. He's just been wandering the streets of Jacksonville.
00:20:28
Speaker
He never got out of Daily's place, he's just been wandering. That's what happens because he had to escape from the murder shed at the fairgrounds. The bat is more of a cane now. Like you're hearing the ghost of your dad on the ham radio and when you finally see him it looks like this and you're like, actually, I'm gonna turn off the radio, dad. I don't think.
00:20:59
Speaker
That's actually not Steve Borden, that's Robert De Niro. In the sting outfit. Just slowly melting. Actually, now that you say slowly melting, it actually looks like what would happen if you painted Ric Flair now up his skin. Flair.
00:21:27
Speaker
The next, the next version, the next version of the snow globins, he's just face down. And then the one after that is just a tombstone. I think that is the, that's the best pizza merch this week. The second best piece of merch was Effie's mug shot.
00:21:52
Speaker
Um, which did, I don't know if you guys saw this, this was fucked up and, uh, I only saw it in our group chat. Teg sent this, I guess Effie got 15 months of probation for having edibles in his car when he got pulled over in Atlanta. So he sold a t-shirt with his mug shot on it, where he said he has to be the only shirt.
00:22:15
Speaker
The only wrestling shirt ever, or the only mugshot where the guy has the Anakin Skywalker Star Wars prequels braid hanging down in the mugshot. The old Padawan braid. All right. It's been too long. We've talked enough.
00:22:39
Speaker
Guys, get fucking ready.

Fast X Movie Highlights

00:22:42
Speaker
Hear me out right now. This is your warning. Spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, spoilers. We're talking Fast X. That's why Heater's here. We both saw Fast X. We did an episode about Fast 9. It was okay. I think at the time we were probably pretty psyched for it, but like
00:22:59
Speaker
it didn't hold up there it had its problems fast ten we're not gonna we're not gonna spare you any details you're going to get it spoiled turn off now if you haven't seen it or want to see it
00:23:13
Speaker
So I have a question for you guys. So where does nine, cause again, you guys went for a solid hour and more than more than an hour about bass nine. And you guys were very excited about it. Tremendous episode of podcasting. And if you have anyone has a listen, go back. Where does that one now rank for you in your top 10? Bottom three. Okay. I put nine in the bottom three. I would probably put it at
00:23:41
Speaker
six or seven. The only reason that is is because John Cena's in it. Like, it was something that and they went to space. They went to space. Yeah. Yeah, I think the problem in retrospect is there was too much serious talking, like way too much dialogue in that movie.
00:24:02
Speaker
And also, they're like, you know, what's fun if John Cena can't be any fun? They're like, somebody saw somebody won. Somebody didn't see the Marine and gave him a serious role. Somebody did not watch 12 rounds. Somebody saw Peacemaker and was like, that guy's good. Put him in a thing. And it was. So now is tearing up cardboard box. Weirdest Fast 10 ranked for you guys. So if that one that one ended up being sort of bottom three is Fast 10 like higher.
00:24:31
Speaker
So if you ask critics who are idiots, mind you, they tell you this is the worst thing that these people have ever done. But if you ask a different set of idiots who is me, and this is high, it is finally where we needed to be in this series.
00:24:55
Speaker
There is an energy to this one that is like it felt like the entire writer's room went, I don't fucking know, whatever you guys want to do. Like in this one, even the scenes of exposition are so much fun. There's a scene where a cop is talking to Brie Larson,
00:25:21
Speaker
And he is just describing everything they've done in nine previous movies, where he's just like, these started out as street racers stealing DVD players out of the back of a truck. And since then, they have all defied gravity and God two times each.
00:25:46
Speaker
Once in Tokyo, I believe. Once in Tokyo. So this is the biggest thing I gotta do in this episode, guys. Once again, spoilers, spoilers, spoilers, spoilers. Big apologies. Big apologies are owed, Chris. Why's that? I've over the past couple months said some not even not nice, just like really mean things about Dwayne Johnson.
00:26:12
Speaker
Dwayne Johnson did me dirty in the fast universe by not wanting to do a Hobbs and Shaw 2. That really hurt me. That's the only good movie he's made other than the Jumanjis. And I was mad at him. I was very, very mad. Chris, during the end credits of this movie, halfway through the credits, it goes to a new scene.
00:26:38
Speaker
You see a masked SWAT man going through a building. This guy looks little, mind you, to where you're like, you're like, this can't be. You're like, who? I feel like it's Kevin Hart, maybe, out of there. Yeah. Right, right, right. He's got to also play Dwayne's character. He's just now Kevin Hart. The man is walking towards a ringing phone. He picks it up and you hear the villain, who is Jason Momoa, say something about,
00:27:08
Speaker
It's Dom's fault. My dad is dead, but you're the one who pulled the trigger. And as he says that it shows a clip from fast five and it shows the rocks legs getting out of a Jeep. And when it cuts back to these, like I'm coming for you.
00:27:24
Speaker
the mask pulls down, it is Dwayne fucking Johnson. I hollered, I hollered in the theater. I let out an orgasm sound that sounded like when Shane McMahon hit those barricades, which actually, Lowell gave me this sound. Can you guys hear this? He saw your phone, your strokes, you just...
00:27:54
Speaker
And when that happened, like the rock says. You is, he says something to the effect of.
00:28:04
Speaker
It's not hard to find me, you sum bitch. And that's the end. And I was just punching air. I was shouting in a theater. I was more hyped than the day my child was born. That's not all though. He also crushes the phone one handed. High phone crushed. Like it's a can of soda.
00:28:31
Speaker
Was it a gimmicked phone? That's what I want to know. Was he gimmicked? Maybe not. Bach is very strong. Yeah. I'll tell you this, he's not drinking primy. He had smashed like three or four of those Toa drinks or whatever you call it. Is that the name? Just high on caffeine. What do you need to know about this movie, Chris? Because I could just start from the top and go through the whole thing. Start at the top. I don't know. Go for it. I don't know. What was your favorite part?
00:29:04
Speaker
I have a favorite part. Yeah, go ahead. Every single one of Jason Momoa's outfits in this movie is the greatest outfit to ever be worn. He would wear an outfit and I would think there's no way they can top that. And then they would fucking top it every single time.
00:29:26
Speaker
So Chris, Jason Momoa is the son of the villain in Five who dies at the end. And they reshoot some of Five to include that Jason Momoa is in these cars that are getting crushed. He is seemingly like a regular bad guy.
00:29:42
Speaker
But he gets his skull cracked open, dies for two minutes, and comes back as if Jack Nicholson 89 Joker were gay. And. I mean, some of these outfits, I'm just Googling them right now. This is very fancy. He looks like he looks like like all of his outfits came from like Harry Styles closet.
00:30:08
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes. He could have been at the Met Gala having the time of his life, or he can be slitting the throats of children. This guy, Jason Momoa had more fun in this one movie than anyone else had in the previous nine. All right. I just really want, I will go see the next one if Harry Styles is Jason Momoa's little guy in the next movie.
00:30:38
Speaker
Just like a sidekick. Which I need to let you guys know, this movie is the eighth most expensive movie in the history of film. This movie, guys, listen to me when I say this. Look at me. Look at me in the eyes. This movie costs $10 million less than Avatar 2, a movie that had to create new technology and took 14 years to film.
00:31:06
Speaker
They filmed, this movie was $340 million. Well, do you know how much it took? Do you know how many hair people needed to be to put Jason Momoa's hair in this top knot? No, that top knot. How much time in the movie does he spend in this top knot that I'm seeing here? Only one scene, and it's one where he is painting the toenails of two dead men.
00:31:38
Speaker
as their faces are taped up like Pee-Wee Herman at the beginning of Pee-Wee's big adventure. Very large smiles, also pig-nosed. Oh my god. Some people think this movie, they blew their wad too quick.
00:32:02
Speaker
because they do open with a hot big opening action scene. There is a nuclear bomb that is basically the size of the Indiana Jones boulder rolling through Rome, destroying everything. Best line in the whole movie, Jason Momoa looks at his henchmen and he goes, what should we blow up first? Ooh, the Vatican, we're going to hell.
00:32:34
Speaker
Then as if a bomb isn't bad enough, it's also on fire at one point through, let's call it 60% of it rolling down the hill.
00:32:45
Speaker
And man, and it's just like Vin Diesel in this movie, his cars get thrown around like a pinball. Like it will fly 400 feet, smash into a concrete wall, fall another 100 feet and he'll just keep driving. Like these guys, like there's a point in this movie where Vin Diesel, there's a car tipped over and with one arm flips the car.
00:33:14
Speaker
So a little peek behind my viewing, I was one of like maybe, I would say maybe 15 people in the theater. I went on a Sunday matinee show. Directly in front of me, full family, all the way bought in. And the moment that he's flipping the car with one hand after jamming the steering wheel so that it'll take off in circles, I audibly start laughing.
00:33:43
Speaker
And I think I upset the father just a little bit because he turned around and shot me a look as if that wasn't the most ridiculous thing that I've ever seen potentially ever. He's like, if you thought that was ridiculous, you better not make any noise when he's driving down the side of a dam, a vertical wall. I just like that.
00:34:09
Speaker
He wants, he wants the son to under, he wants, this dad wants his son to think it's, he's like, you're, you're don't, don't like break this for him. Don't laugh at this. This is important to him. The only reason he gets, he got through school this week is because he needed to see Finn. The thing is somebody, you turn around to like shush the guy behind you. It's heater and he's looking at you and you're just like, I bleed for a living turn around.
00:34:40
Speaker
I don't want to ruin their experience, of course, but at the same time, that is the most ridiculous thing ever. There's no wrong way to watch a Fast and the Furious movie. The problem is there's too many ways to watch a Fast and the Furious movie, and they were doing it the most standard way.
00:35:02
Speaker
I also have to assume at 1 30 in the afternoon on a Sunday that I'm catching the church going folk. Oh, yeah. You get out of church, you hit the show knees and then you hit some fast acts just to really. Really round out the day. Yeah. So just to bring it back to Siena for a minute, you know, because this is a pro wrestling podcast.
00:35:32
Speaker
So John Cena, they did a full hard reset on his character. Cause he's serious guy in nine and he sucks. And in this one, his entrance, he's coming to save Mia and a little Brian.
00:35:47
Speaker
And he cut, like they just see bodies flying and she smiles. And then it's John Cena that comes in the room and he's like, hey, and he's just being John Cena. He's not being like serious guy from Nine. And he's just shooting all these motherfuckers in the head. At one point they're in the second story of the Fast and Furious house, like this famous house that's been in all the movies.
00:36:08
Speaker
He's holding two guys down who are shooting guns and it shoots holes in a straight line on both sides of him through the floor, punches one in the face, grabs the other one, puts him over his shoulders, gives him a fucking AA through the top floor to the bottom floor of the house.
00:36:29
Speaker
Truly, they let him be so much John Cena. The only thing that was missing from his first scene was my time is now playing. That's going to gall Vince so much if in the next fast movie there's a John Cena versus the Rock match just in the middle. Well, that's what what is going to happen with this, because all we knew is that the Rock didn't want to do these movies. My guess is so from what I understand,
00:36:58
Speaker
This movie, Justin Lin, the director, dropped out early, and they replaced him quick while they were filming with Louis Leterrier, who did the transporter, first two transporter movies.
00:37:12
Speaker
Uh, they stole two scenes straight out of his own movie and put them in this one, which I, it's like, I had like 10 million bucks to do transporter too. I have $340 million. I'm going to redo the best two scenes from that movie. Um, but so apparently he had a meeting with Dwayne where he said that he con he's like, I'd never met Dwayne. I contacted his people. We sat across the table from each other and talk for a while. And I showed him the movie and he loved it.
00:37:42
Speaker
So the movie was completely done. There was nothing being done with Dwayne being in the next one in mind. But he liked it enough that they shot an end credit scene. So they're saying there could be two more movies now instead of one, which I'm thinking, Jason Statham goes off at the end of 10. He's off on his own to go save his mom.
00:38:07
Speaker
The Rock is probably gonna have to go off to save his daughter, because Momoa's kidnapped everybody, and he is not afraid to murder. That puts Hobbs and Shaw on the same mission. What if the next one's Hobbs and Shaw, too? And then we all team up like Avengers Endgame for the third one. Well, and if they do that, then they have to call it Thrice in a Lifetime, because we're gonna get John Cena versus The Rock.
00:38:33
Speaker
Except Chris, John Cena blows up in this movie. He is dead. Oh, this does not seem like something that it can't be overcome. But put it this way. In number six, Gal Gadot was in it and she was not famous yet. Gal Gadot falls out of an airplane and dies.
00:38:54
Speaker
The end scene of this movie before the credits is Gal Gadot appearing in a nuclear submarine. And then it goes to credits. She died several movies ago. She's back because she's famous. These movies, Chris, this is art. This is why we go to the cinema. Yes, $340 million for a movie like this.
00:39:18
Speaker
I don't even know what to say. I mean, he crashes two helicopters into each other with his car while they're tethered to him. He swings a helicopter around in a circle from his car and hits the bad guy with the helicopter. Like it's a tetherball. It's impressive. That's impressive. I mean, our friend Tom is strong. I don't think he can do that.
00:39:43
Speaker
And isn't it while he's doing that, his son is jumping from the bad guy's car into his car. As they're going about 300 miles an hour, two cars spinning simultaneously next to each other. Little Brian, now.
00:40:02
Speaker
Movie ends on an absolute total cliffhanger where Lil Brian and Vin Diesel are at the bottom of a dam that they just drove down, escaping an explosion that touched them, but they hit the nose and got out ahead of it. And it turns out he has bombs rigged to this dam, and they're at the bottom. And as right as the bomb's getting ready to explode, fade to black. Then now we have to wait two years for another movie to see if Lil Brian and Vin make it out alive.
00:40:30
Speaker
But but donnick does the most dad move ever and he just puts his hand on little brian Like as if like they're in a car and and he had to make a sudden break He puts his hand as if he's going to stop the damn water from killing him This lazily placed left arm over my son's shoulder is gonna stop this damn water
00:40:56
Speaker
Chris, you've got two years to get caught up so that when we do this next one, you can get in on all the fun. You know, maybe I need to call my dad and just be like, dad, come over once a week. We're watching One Fast and Furious. My dad's probably watched all of them. My dad loves this. I'll give you access to my voodoo account. They're all on there. You can... I have a question that, because I was looking at pictures of John Cena in this movie.
00:41:26
Speaker
And there's an article that says, John Cena's fast ex-return must resolve Jacob's fast and furious plot hole. It has to be resolved. It's important. It raises major questions. And apparently it's because at one point they said that Dom was her only brother, but he's the brother. Did they resolve the plot hole before he exploded?
00:41:53
Speaker
No. What do you mean? Wait, so you're telling me there was another brother? No, apparently they're saying this article on ScreenRant.com. That's a real site, yeah. That's a real site. He's saying that before the Fast 9 movies, at some point Mia says Dom is her only brother.
00:42:13
Speaker
but of course we find out. That's a plot hole. That's a pretty big- Well, but Jacob and Fast9 was excommunicated in the street race to stay in the family. That's true. Oh. So it was technically her own brother. Yeah, she only has one brother, because the other brother was excommunicated. They basically raced for adoption papers, and they tore his up.
00:42:42
Speaker
Oh, that makes sense. So it was like the Eddie Ray match for Dominic, basically. Yeah, just do your best, Shane. That's a new segment. Do your best, Shane. What is the noise coming?
00:43:06
Speaker
Could you hear me and Derek doing our best Shane from episode like 10 of predetermined? You could. Lowell went back five years into this show and found all these clips of me and Derek doing the Shane McMahon sound from that episode. Sent me the MP3s of all of them so I could have them as sound bites. And now they're in our soundboard, which as far as I can tell, when I play these, doesn't actually play them.
00:43:35
Speaker
in the show. I think only we got to hear those. So that's a real weird for the listeners then. You just give it to them at the beginning though and then every time it just gets silent and we're listening to sound clips. I just have to assume that's what we're listening to.
00:44:00
Speaker
He and I are just checking our laptops. Where is this coming from? What window do I have open where this noise is coming? The other thing I'm curious about is that apparently last time you guys said there was too much dialogue, but there were apparently rumors that there was not enough of Dom talking about family in this one. Were those true?
00:44:28
Speaker
false. Okay. He does talk a lot about family, but the word family is said exponentially less than this one, comparatively to the last one. It is. Yeah, I guess it's hard to say. He doesn't talk about family like a comic amount like he did in nine. But you know, like family is said he does say it like if you were going to drink every time he says family,
00:44:56
Speaker
and you're taking shots, like you're still gonna be like super fucked up by the end of this movie. It's just like so fucked up that you might not get pulled over driving. Because I saw the trailer and the trailer basically was like explosion family, like car spinning out family. And it was just like, it was like a cut just back and forth. I mean, I was like, the only things that were happening was very strange. I was like, this is what you people apparently want for this movie. This is what we're going to tell you is there in the trailer.
00:45:26
Speaker
I feel like Dominic Toretto has Tourette's and his trigger word is family. And he's been working on it. That's why he's not saying it a lot in this one. That's the answer to the plot hole of why he's saying family less. It's a plot hole. If you don't think about it, you haven't really thought about it. We did find out this last week, though. So the big cop guy, that's the addition with the Momoa.
00:45:56
Speaker
at the end, I guess he plays Jack Reacher in the Jack Reacher television series. That was supposed to be Keanu Reeves who had to drop out last minute. And I guess before that Keanu had actually been in talks to be in Hobbs and Shaw too is the mysterious voice. Which would have been a great big bad to go from Idris Elba to Keanu. Like it's hard to top Idris. That's how you top it.
00:46:26
Speaker
Yeah. See, you think of him as the Jack Reacher guy. To me, because of my love for New Girl, he's the guy with the micropenis. He's micropenis guy. Aw, look at that guy. Yeah, he's in one episode of New Girl, but he does have a, I literally just watched that episode like yesterday too. Holy shit. That's funny.
00:46:54
Speaker
I was really happy about that connection when I'm watching the movie. I was like, hey, it's Microfina's guy.
00:47:03
Speaker
What was it? Tough boys who watch or good boys who watch that match and nice boys who watch new girl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who loved death match wrestling. They're much new girl. I don't know. I mean, we can move on from fast and the furious if we want, but like I also, I don't know if I have to throw some more out there. This is the funniest Romans ever been Tyrese. His character is known for one liners. Funniest one liners he's ever had in any of the movies were in this one.
00:47:31
Speaker
Yeah. And also the other, I feel like they really focused on Tyrese in this one because like Han says three sentences the entire movie. Yeah. Chris, Han's another character who has resurrected from the dead a minute ago.
00:47:49
Speaker
He was actually, his girlfriend was fuck, Wonder Woman. I just said her name. Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot, Gal Gadot. She dies, Han gets killed by Statham. Now they're both just back in the movie. And this whole movie, he's been on Tinder. He's trying to find a new girlfriend. He doesn't know yet that she's alive. He's about to have his girlfriend back.
00:48:15
Speaker
Yeah, that's exciting. Yes, it is. It's a statement is hitting a heavy bag and it turns out there's a person inside of it. That's intense. That's how long like in the fast movies, like how long is have have have they been dead or do we think they've been dead? Han dies at the end of three. That's a long time ago and he didn't come back till nine.
00:48:45
Speaker
But like it but like the timelines kind of messed up for like four or five and six. Like like five takes place before three. Right. No. So he's like dead for like we'll call it three years. OK. Well, not dead. We thought to be dead. Yeah, the government wondering how long when he when he and Gal Gadot get back together, like how long have they been apart, you know?
00:49:13
Speaker
I actually, at this point, I don't really know how many years between some of these. Yeah, because the specifically in this one, it feels like with the way they started, it feels like it's like it's been long enough that they're having barbecues again and like.
00:49:32
Speaker
Like, life's back to normal and... That was another thing the cop said is he doesn't want Brie Larson to go to them because he's worried she's going to be taken in by the family because every single law enforcement officer they've ever interacted with has stopped being a law enforcement officer and joined the family.
00:49:58
Speaker
I got really good barbecues though, you're telling me. She's like, so you're telling me I'm a beer and a barbecue away from from joint. He said it's a cult with cars. Broom, broom, baby. I'm in. I'm in. Also, I want to know how much Corona pays for their sponsorship in those movies.
00:50:21
Speaker
Oh, the second that movie was over, me and Leah went to the store and bought a six pack of Corona. Like that, the advertising works. Cause I feel like the only time I buy Corona is around fast and the furious directly after a fast and the furious. Just like walk out of it. So how frequently do Corona's come up in these things?
00:50:41
Speaker
often. Yeah, if they're drinking a beer, they're drinking a Corona. Like I just watched rewatch seven the other day and Kurt Russell is like, you should try this, uh, this Belgian lager. And he's like, I'm more of a Corona man. He's like, that's what I thought. And they're at a military base and he just pulls up a bucket of Corona's.
00:51:06
Speaker
Like Dom just taking a sip and going, yum, that's delicious. Refreshing. Just go full bore into it. Rock is crushing cans of Corona. There's a Sandman cameo in the next one. He just chugs a bunch, swings a Singapore cane, gets exploded.
00:51:36
Speaker
because there's mines on the end of his, his kendo stick.

Wrestling Culture and Events

00:51:42
Speaker
Exactly. It's exploding kendo stick. That makes no sense to me. At this point in his life, I think Sandman would be maybe the worst fast and furious villain they could have. Like what happened? Like, I don't know. He was doing something evil, but he fell asleep. He took a bump and had to rest on the ground.
00:52:06
Speaker
You have to go buy cigarettes. Heder, were you invited to Rob Black's wedding? I was not. I was not. All shucks. Well, I didn't know if it was like an all deathmatch guy affair, or if Schlack was just the best man. Well, I think that to get that invitation, I would have to have done something horrendous to get canceled.
00:52:33
Speaker
and also be a death matching guy. And then, absolutely. I think that's how I get into Rob Black's weddings. I wonder what kind of spread he had there, like if it was a...
00:52:47
Speaker
whatever is left from American cheeseburger that they didn't sell before they closed. How does Rob Black pay? I guess that's the question is like, do you maybe need to lie to him and be like, yeah, yeah, I've done lots of stuff. And my little guy over here, you would not believe what he's done.
00:53:09
Speaker
You should definitely hire us, Rob. No one wants to have us around. He seems like the kind of guy who's tipping waiters' NFTs. Yeah. Bro, you don't understand. This is worth like $6,000. Let me give you this little digital picture of a monkey fucking a coconut. You're going to put your kids through college on this monkey fucking picture. I promise.
00:53:41
Speaker
Porn NFTs does sound like something Rob Black would be involved in. He sells videotapes and porn NFTs. He just crosses all the spectrums of the technology. Straight VHS. VHS I understand though. I would definitely be the guy that I get a porn NFT and I'm like, I don't know how to watch this.
00:54:05
Speaker
And they're like, but it's worth a lot. And I'm like, but how do I come? Sorry. I'm not concerned about the dollar amount right now. Is it worth less if I use it? Or does the price increase? I will say the Schlack picture of him in the wedding is incredible.
00:54:34
Speaker
It's really good. Trying to find it. He you can tell he had been bleeding recently because his head is cut up. He's wearing all black. He's got a black jacket, black shirt, white, white and or maybe it might be like a pink, a light pink bow tie and a flower on the on the lapel. That's what if anyone.
00:55:06
Speaker
OK, so he's bled recently. What is the over under on Rob Black ran an expw show and was like, well, everybody's already in town. We're just going to have the wedding to. Hard over, hard over. Do we know, do we know this other day, Gary? I don't know if you've done any research. I have not. Do we know who Rob Black got married to?
00:55:35
Speaker
No, that's worth a Google. Well, he was with- I tried. He was with Lizzie Borden at one time. Right. I remember that. Right. But I can't imagine that he married her. No, no, I don't think they got remarried. That'd be pretty weird. Although she's apparently like a Purdue. I did a Google on her at one point and I was like, oh, she's like a producer now. She's like kept going in the industry. She's fighting for ladies rights. And yeah.
00:56:06
Speaker
Yeah. It's nice to know that one person in that relationship isn't a complete monster. Yeah, I mean, I don't think she's great, but, you know, I mean, she's doing some good things to balance it out, you know? She hasn't served anyone a cheeseburger covered in glass. So just on that level, you know. Yeah. I mean, if we're talking about bar set, Rob Black sets a very low one. Very, very low.
00:56:36
Speaker
I don't wanna hurt Derek's feelings too bad. But after seeing Schlack in that suit, I'm kind of second guessing that I made the wrong decision on who my best man was. Schlack looks good in a suit, my wife likes him. Sorry bud.
00:57:04
Speaker
I mean, you can always renew your vows, Garrett. At American Cheeseburger. At American Cheeseburger. We'll get Slack in there in a suit. It's a combination vow renewal and American Cheeseburger deathmatch. It's heater versus Slack. Just in the middle of the way.
00:57:30
Speaker
Yeah, you guys are gonna have to fight for attention, because you're gonna be exchanging vows while we're bleeding all over the place. It makes me nervous, though, that I'm gonna find out something about Schlack. I'm not ready to hear the fact that he was in that wedding. But, you know, it could have been like, you hold the title, you be in my wedding situation. Like, you don't tell the boss no.
00:57:58
Speaker
Again, he's willing to do anything for the boss. The boss pays and, you know. Yeah, and we don't know if Rob didn't pay his rate to come and be his best man. Alex Cologne said no, but. You're going to. I think the difficult thing in the Vower Newell Garrett is when Dilfboy and Mittens crash it.
00:58:34
Speaker
Oh, and that's gonna be part of the process. You and Leah have to defeat Dilfboy and Mittens. Your wife's just straight punching Dilfboy in the face, just straight punches. What happened? Where's the cake? Mittens drank a lot of white claws and already ate it all. And then he reaches into his bag and pulls out a pussy flag.
00:59:06
Speaker
Jimmy Lloyd, like when they ask if anybody objects, Jimmy Lloyd objects, so you have to fight Jimmy Lloyd too. This is actually more turned into the raid for me than it has my wedding. I just have to fight my way through a series of villains to get to the top of a building. Who's the last villain at my wedding? And also Jimmy Lloyd's pretty far in that. If I've already had to fight through you, Schlack,
00:59:31
Speaker
Cologne for some reason Jimmy Lloyd's in the middle of that. I guess that's a breather I'm sorry Jimmy's Jimmy's This is clearly the last boss for you Gary Because because in mittens you're fighting something that's within yourself Yeah It is true like
00:59:56
Speaker
there is truly a little bit of mittens in all of us, whether you want to admit it or not. He is a version of us that our wives stopped us from being. Yeah. He is wrestling fan in its purest form. And so, yeah. If Leah hadn't grounded, made me be part normal
01:00:26
Speaker
I would be sweeping glass at a death match in Jersey. And getting lemon squeezed in my eyes by Brandon Kirk. Do you think, do you think Mittens would be the best man in Danny D'Amato's wedding?
01:00:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, he's this little guy. He's the little guy. If you're somebody's little guy and they don't make you the best man, fuck. What? If you're like three dudes down the line, you're like, I'm your little guy. Who the fuck is this? Where was he?
01:01:04
Speaker
I took, I took lemons to the eyes for you. I swept up all of that blood. I got Mickey Knuckles blood in my mouth for you. You've had Mickey Knuckles blood in your mouth probably, right? No. No. The only match I've ever had with her was a non-death match. Oh shit. Did either of you bleed? No. No. I know.
01:01:33
Speaker
No. What? She has axes. I don't know what you want from me. She has axes. Wait, but it wasn't a death match, but she had axes? Yeah. Well, I mean, she just walked out through the ring with them. And that's, I mean, that's enough. The fear of knowing they're there is enough. They sat in the corner of the entire match. I mean,
01:01:59
Speaker
Well then maybe you should start carrying a gun to the ring. You're AR-15 guy now and you just sit that on. And I go, I'm not going to use it. It's just, you know, in case. And everybody like, but I'll be honest, I see you with that. And I'm like, I don't like this. I don't, I don't trust it. That's how, there's how I get booked to XPW. Exactly.
01:02:26
Speaker
You're Magabudger's tag team partner. Yeah, you're Magabudger's little guy, bud. Let me tell you this, too. You're going to have a lot more ring time. Yeah. God, but that match I watched him have a week or two ago with Schlack, he took some pretty gnarly bumps that he absolutely should not be taking.
01:02:57
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, yeah. One could say that Necro has shouldn't have taken any of the bucks that he's taken in his life. I think it hits MAGA Butcher. I mean, you know, we're only a decade away from that being Speedballs gimmick. They both don't wear shoes, Chris.
01:03:24
Speaker
That's the only thing, like, actually that would be like a decade from now, like, he's like, well, facts said I didn't have enough character. So now I'm a Canadian MAGA karate guy. Okay. How does that? Is that enough character?
01:03:42
Speaker
He's doing very well. I have not watched any of the super juniors since we last talked, but I, the people taught me he's doing very well. So good for him. He might be, I dunno, maybe he's going to be the IWGP junior heavyweight champion in a few weeks or something.
01:03:57
Speaker
I wouldn't be mad about, I still like Speedball, even though apparently I'm also not watching him in this, and I forgot to watch a King's Road match this week.

AEW Anarchy Anticipation

01:04:06
Speaker
So did I, it's been a busy week. You were in Mexico, I was, Fast X came out, like I can't. How many times have you seen Fast X, Garrett? I saw it two days in a row, but I have a baby now, or else I would have seen it like at least 10. How many times do you think you're gonna see it?
01:04:24
Speaker
Um, what sucks is there's a handful of movies out right now. I would like to see, but I can't go see them while fast X is still out. So anytime I think I'm going to like, I should go see a movie. I'm going to see fast X every time. Here's what you do. You just buy tickets to other movies. So you can support them monetarily, but then you just sneak into fast X.
01:04:48
Speaker
Here's the thing, Fast X cost $340 million and had a bad opening in the United States. This is the worst opening of Fast and Furious movie's heads in three. That being said, huge opening worldwide. So the United States is tired of it.
01:05:08
Speaker
but enough people worldwide like it, we're gonna keep getting them. They're not gonna get this close to the finish line and not take me there. Do they cut the budget for 11? Not if China has anything to say about it. I think when that opens there, hopefully they double it. Let's go for eighth biggest, most expensive movie all the time. We need to get to at least five. Yeah, top five.
01:05:33
Speaker
It's doing very well in that country that The Rock was in, in the fictitious Southeast Asian country that The Rock was in in Young Rock this season. He did it amazing in Zhaozhan or whatever it's called. Every person in the country went and it's actually, it's doing, it's dominating there.
01:05:52
Speaker
It was almost it was almost I handed down from the government that you had to go see it. Oh, of course. Yes. Yes. It's like you get you have to go buy the coffee and you do have to see the rock in this movie because he is a national hero. Yeah. You know what? If this movie doesn't like if they're going to cut the budget. I say we go over with WWE next time we find the Saudi Prince and be like, listen, man.
01:06:18
Speaker
You're our only hope and there's no way you're not watching these. This has to be something you love. We need your money. You're not going to miss it. Also, maybe Tony Khan. Right. If he's funding a rock movie, that's going to piss off some people.
01:06:42
Speaker
And then maybe we can get maybe we can get Eddie Kingston in this next one. He's just a wise talking guy from Yonkers. Kingston would have made such a good Vin Diesel little guy. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of Tony Khan and AEW, we got a pay-per-view this weekend. Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah. Are you guys watching it? Like, are you excited about anything? Like, have you been watching AEW?
01:07:12
Speaker
I have been. Yeah. Yeah. I'm also playing the Switch at the same time. Well, pretty soon you'll be playing AEW on Switch. It comes out the end of June.
01:07:28
Speaker
Let's go. I can't wait. There's a lot of blood apparently in the game. I saw photos today. I mean, it is a lot of blood. It was like fire pro wrestling amounts of blood. But with better graphics and it looks like this might be the first one I can recall as thumbtacks. Maybe backyard wrestling did. I don't know. Yeah, I did. But I am pretty stoked for this anarchy in the arena match.
01:07:55
Speaker
Yeah, that's that's the only thing I'm really excited about for the pay-per-view is I really want to see that match. Everything else looks like, oh, I will enjoy that as I'm watching it. I'm not like I'm neither like excited about it nor am I like disappointed. But the anarchy in the arena seems like it's going to be a lot of fun. I really enjoy Hangman Adam Page's eye patch. He was a fancy eye patch. It's very fancy. He looks he looks very handsome in it.
01:08:22
Speaker
It's like when you get that, you get that Willie Nelson t-shirt that's like bedazzled. And you're like, it's a Willie Nelson t-shirt, but it's sparkly. And he's like, I didn't just go with a regular eye patch guys. Okay. I could have bought any old eye patch in eBay. I got like a custom leather one that has been with the different things on it. I'm very, I'm ready for this guy. This is fancy.
01:08:42
Speaker
We're gonna find out it was like Jeff Bridges' eye patch from True Grit or something. I was gonna say it's like a, it's like a, he's like a fancy snake plisking. Ooh. Are you excited at all for the main event? Like the four way for the title, the four pillars match? I'm excited for the car crash that that match is gonna be. Like that's what,
01:09:11
Speaker
we've seen Jungle Boy take some really stupid bumps. And we see Darby take that stupid bump every week. So- And Sammy, I mean, Sammy takes- Oh yeah, Sammy takes dumb bumps. I mean, the only person in that match who doesn't take super dumb bumps is MJF. But he's also the biggest guy, so he gets to throw everybody into the dumbest bump that they could take in that match. So I am kind of excited about that.
01:09:35
Speaker
And if they place it the sick, because I remember the last time they did the anarchy in the arena match, I forgot the match was on the card. And then it was like, Oh, this is the semi main. And if anybody can follow anarchy in the arena, I think it would be those four guys like going absolutely crazy. Yeah. And a title match. What other matches are on that show?
01:10:03
Speaker
I think Jeff Jarrett has a... Oh yeah. Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal against FTR with Mark Briscoe as the ref. That's a thing. Orange Cassidy is defending his title in a battle royal? Oh yeah, that's right. That's a thing. Jamie Hader against Tony Storm. Is Zack Sabre Jr. on the show? No. We don't do any Ring of Honor stuff on AEW. They just announced him for GCW that weekend.
01:10:33
Speaker
Oh, maybe he's going to show up on the pay for years. I don't know, but he's he's on the GCW show in Vegas, in Vegas. Yeah. OK. I think actually, and this is because I was a little bit disappointed that I'm not making it to Toronto, but I think they're going with Sabre against Samoa Joe for that, as opposed to Sabre against Danielson, which I'd be very sad if I miss Sabre against Danielson, although they also might do Osprey against Kenny there. So that might be a little bit cool to to be there for. But you know.
01:11:02
Speaker
We're getting to that time where when there's gonna be big Kenny matches, I'm gonna be sad if I'm not seeing them. Because it seems like we are getting towards, I don't know, he's kind of alluded to that he's on the tail end. I don't think we're gonna see as many enormous bangers as we used to. That's sad. That's really gonna be an end of an era that I'm not ready for.
01:11:32
Speaker
Yeah, although on the other hand, it's one I'm sort of ready to like look back on a little bit. I'm sort of excited to be like, do a deep dive and like, yeah, I'm gonna watch a shit ton of old Kenny Omega matches. I think it's gonna be fun. I mean, that's kind of what I wrote on my letterbox review of Fast X was that I'm just happy to be alive at the time that these movies were happening. And that's how I feel about Kenny Omega. That's very sweet.
01:12:04
Speaker
It's almost like he's family, Garrett. Man, I saw a picture of Orange Cassidy and Chucky T going to see it the other day. The only time I've ever talked to Orange Cassidy and he broke character. Like I've talked to him several times and he's been in character every time and it was it was fun.
01:12:25
Speaker
But when I found out he liked Fast and Furious, I walked over and was like, so I hear you're a fellow Fast and Furious fan, immediately dropped character and was like, yeah, man, what are you?
01:12:38
Speaker
And then he's like, which one's your favorite? I'm like, well, five is the best, but six is the most fun to me. And then he's like, no, no. He's like, five is the best and it's the most fun. He would not. Oh, that's right. That's what I wanted to tell you. So for the for the for the pay per view next weekend or this weekend, I guess they're playing at Regal Cinemas.
01:13:06
Speaker
Yeah, they've been doing that. Derek's been to a couple of them and he's had a really good time. I was thinking about going to this one and just checking it out, like seeing what it was like to watch WrestleMania back in the olden days. You get to watch it in a recliner and can buy really expensive snacks that would have been the same. Also, if any of the matches aren't very good,
01:13:31
Speaker
they're probably running Fast X at some other place in the theater. So you just sneak out, you catch like 20 minutes of Fast X, go back. You're not asking me that Jeff Jarrett match, like you're fine. You're just like, text me when it's over, I'll run back.
01:13:55
Speaker
You really should do that, Garrett. That's actually really sounds like the most, the most you think you could do is to combine a night of AEW and Fest X. I mean, if I really wanted to do it, I could just order it on my phone, sit in the back where I'm not bothering anyone with my phone light and literally just watch them simultaneously. Just one headphone in.
01:14:27
Speaker
You're just a room full of, because what you're gonna learn, Garrett, is there's 12 other people like you in Nashville. And you're all just sitting there. The fact that we haven't run into each other yet sucks. Like, I've been waiting for these motherfuckers. Like, where are they?
01:14:49
Speaker
They're all mittens. They're just mittens. It's me and 11 mittens. And you know what? I'd like to think that I am the king of the mittens.
01:15:01
Speaker
And you're married. So yeah, exactly. You're the king of the Mittens. They're like, oh, he's the girl. But Mittens is looking at me like he's married and as a kid, fuck that. I can go to wrestling on a Thursday and bleed. I get lemon squeezed in my eyes, bitch. I'm the king of the Mittens.
01:15:27
Speaker
You're right, it is all about perspective, isn't it? Heater, how do you do crack? Not you, but in general. I'll take my answer off the air.
01:15:50
Speaker
Which veteran taught you to do crack? If you had to learn how to do crack from an old wrestler, who would you choose? Because I don't know how to do crack. If I'm going to be taught how to do crack, and it's got to be from an old wrestler, I feel like Sandman's probably got it down to a science. That's true.
01:16:18
Speaker
And you'd get to listen to Metallica while he's doing it. That's pretty cool. He's like, hey, we're going to go see Metallica. And you're like, oh, cool. And you go with him. And you find out that you're not actually seeing Metallica. You're doing crack in the parking lot across the street from where Metallica's playing. Yeah, but he will only smoke crack once inner Sandman starts playing.
01:16:44
Speaker
It sucks because he smoked it right. They didn't play it till the encore, and then he was my ride home, so we just had to wait there till like three in the morning. Yeah, because Sandman's not buying a Metallica ticket. Yeah, I think Sandman. I think Sandman's who I want to learn how to do crack cocaine from. Chris?
01:17:14
Speaker
You know, that's a good question. That's such a good question. I think it's, I think it's Brutus Beefcake. I think just cause he, I think he would put me at ease because I feel like he would call me brother the entire time. Brother, nothing that ever happened to anyone doing crack. It's fine.
01:17:43
Speaker
He's just cutting and strutting between. Chris is like. Chris is like, Brutus, one of your teeth just fell out. Don't worry. Hulksters got me on that. He's got he's got a dentist who comes to Hogan's hang out a lot. He'll fix me up.
01:18:11
Speaker
A Tampa dentist that isn't Britt Baker. Every time he does that, every time he has to do beefcake's teeth, Hogan has to give him free oysters or acapella. Market price, brother, market price. How about you, Garrett? Who do you want to learn from? I think one of my childhood heroes, Jake. Jake the Snake.
01:18:41
Speaker
Yeah, but he's clean now. Well now, but I thought we were in a time machine. Oh, okay, you're saying you want to learn. Do you want to learn where in Jake's, because we really know when things went off the rail for Jake. Do you want to learn from Jake in the 80s or in the 90s?
01:19:01
Speaker
I want it to be like he gets a DDT and 10,000 people lose their shit because that was the coolest finisher of all time. He's so fucking amped that there's nothing we can do to keep that ride going besides do crack and a motel eight. The only downside to it is you got to deal with Damien.
01:19:24
Speaker
Like you're probably gonna have to wrangle Damien while he's getting high on crack. Let's face it, we named 20, 30, 40 snakes Damien. You know what, you're right. The spots don't match up and if you forget Damien, the next town there's another Damien.
01:19:46
Speaker
Honestly, some of the best lives, some of those snakes left were getting forgot at a hotel. Because the other one died from doing crack.
01:20:04
Speaker
Crack alone. It basically turns into an animated thing and it looks like the 70s Robin Hood that's got a little hat on, it's lighting the thing with its tail. This show's stupid and I love it.
01:20:28
Speaker
Yes folks, that is two weeks in a row. We ended with talking about doing crack with old wrestlers. And you know what? There's no better way to end it. Anybody else have anything to throw out before we get out of here?
01:20:43
Speaker
do you have anything to plug heater i mean just the social medias uh at hard way heater instagram at hard way underscore heater and come watch me do the wrestleings and if you're in the south of the midwest i'll be around all summer
01:21:01
Speaker
Do you have anything big happen in the summer? Like anything announced that you can talk about? So I have this Saturday I have, I'm defending the TWE Tag Team Championships in Chattanooga, Tennessee with my fellow KOBK member, Sean Campbell versus BDSM. I have on June 9th for Flophouse, I'm wrestling Setu Jin in a death match. He scares me.
01:21:31
Speaker
I'm so very excited. He's got like the slides, right? Yeah. Yes. He's got like a he's got like a big old knife. I did tell him on the on the Twitter sphere that I wanted to show Indianapolis his insides. Oh, yeah. We'll see. We'll see how that how that turns out for me. And then I've got the only other thing right now that I've got announced is the
01:21:58
Speaker
the match with Saradox for AWR. Which all of this should be on iWTV, right? Correct. Awesome. Everything will be iWTV.
01:22:09
Speaker
Be on the lookout for it. IWTV, the official place of watching hosts of predetermined wrestle. Very similar matches. Very similar. You said showing the insides in the last the last one I did that's up there. I have I have I have vomited and I'm covered in. So I showed everyone my insides. It was fake.
01:22:37
Speaker
It was a mixture of orange juice and whiskey. That was work involvement. It was a work involvement. But a real children's potty. A real children's potty. There you go. You can't fake that. You can't fake that. You cannot fake that. That's a dark weapon to use. If you're ever thinking about like you find your friends with the kids, once Garrett starts potty training Ozzy,
01:23:05
Speaker
You come over, you grab that little squatty potty, you go, I gotta use this for a while, I'm gonna go to the cobra, hit it with this, with the shit in it, and then I'll bring it back. I'll bring it back. It'll be empty. It'll be empty. It'll be clean. You save that for schlack.
01:23:27
Speaker
All right, everybody. Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week at pre-determined podcast on Instagram, at Gartet, at Chris Miggs, at Hardway Dash Eater, at Jimmy Lloyd's IMDB page. We'll be back next time. Hit our goddamn music. Kisses.