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The Voice I'm Passing On with Krystal Jugarap
15 Plays4 months ago
At The Second Voice, we explore the inner conversations leaders rarely say out loud. In this episode we ask "What if the voice inside your head isn’t just shaping you, but shaping your children too?" Today, we explore how the self-talk we carry as leaders and mothers becomes the invisible inheritance passed to the next generation. Krystal Jugarap shares the raw truth about leading, doubting, and parenting when the second voice is always present.
Hosted by Luisa Hogan, leadership resilience strategist and founder of Vermelho Consulting.Luisa works with founders, executives, and senior leaders who carry real responsibility and want to lead with steadiness, clarity, and self-trust under pressure.Her work focuses on nervous system regulation, leadership identity, and the inner dialogue that shapes how leaders show up when things are hard.
Connect with Krystal
https://www.krystaljugarap.com
https://www.empoweredbywmn.com
Instagram: @iamkrystalj @empoweredbywmn @bookofbijoux
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/krystaljugarap
Work With Luisa
If this episode sparked reflection, here are ways to go deeper with Luisa:
-Leadership resilience workshops and advisory
-Keynotes and curated live experiences
-The Steady Leadership framework and private sessions
Learn more at: www.vermelho.com.au
A Note From Whisper & Thread
The Second Voice is proudly supported by Whisper & Thread.
Whisper & Thread creates intimate apparel embroidered with quiet, internal messages designed to interrupt negative self-talk.
Each piece carries a reminder on the inside. Not performative. Not loud. Just for you.
Because leadership self-talk does not start in the boardroom.
And confidence is built in the moments no one sees.
Explore Whisper & Thread at: whisperandthread.com
Stay Connected
Follow along and join the conversation:
• Instagram: @thesecondvoicepodcast
• Instagram: @vermelho_consulting
• Instagram: @whisperandthread
Subscribe, rate, and review The Second Voice to help more leaders find these conversations.
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Transcript
Introduction to Self-Talk, Leadership, and Parenting
00:00:00
Speaker
What if the voice inside your head wasn't just shaping you, but was shaping your children too? Today, we're going to explore how self-talk, when you're a leader as well as a parent, is the invisible inheritance that we pass on to our children. And my guest today is going to share some raw truths around leadership, parenting, doubting, and how the second voice is always present in those moments.
00:00:27
Speaker
Welcome back to the Second Voice podcast where we uncover the conversations that leaders don't have out loud. My name is Louisa Hogan and I'm your host. And today we're going deeper into the intersection between a leadership, and entrepreneurship and being a mother. And it's a topic that's close to my heart. I became a mother four years ago and I feel like it's such an important thing to talk about because I want to talk about how other leaders and entrepreneurs deal with that inner voice that becomes not just yours anymore when you've got the little inner voices of all of your children who are also guiding your
Meet Crystal Jagarup: Entrepreneur and Mother
00:01:08
Speaker
decisions. And today i am super excited to be talking to Crystal Jagarup and she is a visibility strategist, a speaker and the founder of Empowered by Women or EBW. And it's ah a national community platform elevating women and entrepreneurs through stream streamlined visibility, education and connection. She's also, because as if that's not enough, she's also the amazing entrepreneur and creator of Book of Bijou, which is a jewelry storage storage line born from her dual passions for design and efficiency. And she's also a mother of three and a multi-business founder that has speaks, speaks, speaks,
00:01:54
Speaker
nationally on um leadership, identity, and the hidden cost of showing up publicly. So I know that you're going to get a lot of great value from this conversation today. I know I am. Welcome, Crystal. I am so happy to have you here. And ah i'm I'm so glad we were able to find a time where we could both connect from across the world. i know. Isn't it so special when we can do that? But thank you so much, Louisa, for having me. I'm really excited for the conversation we're about to dive into.
00:02:21
Speaker
Lovely. Thank you so much. So I did give a little bit of a background, but I want to know more about you. I want to know more about your businesses. What is it that you do? What was the journey that brought you to where you are now? Tell us more about you.
00:02:34
Speaker
It's been a very interesting journey, but I have told this many times that I've and always known I was going to be an entrepreneur since I was in high school.
00:02:44
Speaker
I've probably known that I was going to be a mother since even before that. I
Challenges and Determination in Crystal's Journey
00:02:48
Speaker
grew up very, very close to my family. At some point, we all lived at my grandma's house and we would have sleepovers with all of my cousins. So we were a very tight knit family. And just from that, I knew that I wanted a family of my own. i kind of love the chaos of there's someone every little crevice of the house. No matter where you go, something's happening, there's someone to talk to you so very slowly, you know, i I didn't have this community of entrepreneurs around me growing up.
00:03:18
Speaker
I grew up in a very traditional household and environment. And, you know, I did all of the things the traditional way and that society expects you to do go to college or, you know, we'll start with high school and then go to college and then get your degree. then get a good stable job and then find a partner and have the babies and all the things.
00:03:38
Speaker
But there was still always kind of like that little kind of itch that I knew that I was meant for something bigger than myself, but I didn't quite know what that was. And I didn't quite know how my world was going to take me there, especially growing up in such a traditional environment, right? Where, oh, these are the boxes that you're supposed to check in this order.
00:03:58
Speaker
And so it got to a point where I found myself a mom of two young girls and i had, for the most part, checked all of those boxes. have the partner, I have the government job and I had the babies.
00:04:12
Speaker
And then there was just almost like this internal click of, okay, I think I've done everything that I was meant to do or I was supposed to do based on everyone's expectations. Now it's time to start living life my way. And that conversation that I had with myself has truly changed the trajectory of my life that now I launched this product line, Book of Bijou. And in launching that, it reminded me of a time when I did have a community of women entrepreneurs around me and I
00:04:48
Speaker
basically asked myself, how do I recreate that?
Empowered by Women: Building Community
00:04:50
Speaker
They're always talking, everyone's always talking about how entrepreneurship is lonely, but I was adamant that that was not going to be my journey. Like why, again, I'm going to create life the way that I've always envisioned it. And if that doesn't resonate with me, then let's figure out a different solution. So that's where Empowered by Women came to be. And it came very, very casually.
00:05:09
Speaker
no intention for it to turn into a business. But as life has it, that is apparently where my calling always was. And we hosted one market in 2022, 20 women vendors, a few women speakers, And I got to bring my two girls at the time. And that, even just that moment in and of itself was so special because like I said, I never had that community of entrepreneurs around me when I was younger. i was never exposed to a different way of doing life. And that really solidified us as an emerging community and also kind of opened my eyes to what it means to really be that role model for your children and how you get to show them what is possible instead of just telling them, Oh, you be and do and whatever you want.
00:05:54
Speaker
But then when you actually get to be that firsthand living role model of that, that's a completely different ballpark, right? So yeah from there, it was really just listening to our community and what they were needing. And they wanted more of this connection. They wanted more opportunity. They wanted to have more support.
00:06:13
Speaker
And as women, it's already there's already so many hurdles that we're facing. So it's just grown into how are we bringing more visibility to our women? Because I truly believe it doesn't matter how long you've been in business. It doesn't matter how much money you've made, how many clients you've had. You have a story worth sharing. You have a genius in that beautiful brain of yours that the person next to you can truly benefit
Creating Opportunities and Avoiding Rejection
00:06:35
Speaker
from. So how do we get to spotlight that?
00:06:38
Speaker
And how do we continue to do that in a room full of people that truly celebrate you and that also stand with you and and and hold you in those more challenging seasons? Wow, I get goosebumps like listening to that because it so resonates with me when you said, you know, people tell you entrepreneurship's lonely.
00:06:57
Speaker
um I've got two businesses of my own and it's funny how that inner voice, you know, well, entrepreneurship's lonely, I'm just gonna accept that, that's that's what it is. And I love that you didn't you didn't listen to that voice and and look what you've built because, you know, you've built something so valuable and useful and then people will come to that. And um I love that you've listened to that. I mean, what does it take, you know, to, to not accept because, you know, a lot of people out there would just accept, you know, that's just how it is. And, you know, how do you overcome, you know, what everyone tells you all the time? How do you, how do you do that?
00:07:34
Speaker
I mean, honestly, like I said, I was doing that. I was listening to everyone yeah and I was kind of letting all of this external noise silence those inner thoughts that I was having, right. That,
00:07:45
Speaker
kind of itch that I was meant for something more. And even though I had these really weird visions of like what life could be, that yeah wasn't the normal thing. So I would kind of silence that.
00:07:56
Speaker
And it took me actually having that conversation with me of saying, okay, I'm done. Like I literally said those words to myself. yeah Okay, I'm done doing everything everyone's ever expected me to. One of the women in our community, she posted something recently that was basically asking, what did you have to say no to? Or what did you have to stop saying yes to in order to feel like yourself again? And my response immediately, i felt everyone.
00:08:23
Speaker
I had to stop saying yes to everyone. I had to start saying yes to me. And now it's almost interesting because it's almost hard for me to do something that I don't wanna do.
00:08:34
Speaker
Because it's become such a practice and it it really is a practice. It takes time. And even though right now, now it feels so natural for me to just say what's on my mind and for me to go out there and create what I want to create, there's still that process of having it feel a little bit more comfortable every single time.
00:08:54
Speaker
It's still kind of like, it still stretches you. It's still this moment of discomfort, but the more you do it, the more you're like, okay, it's kind of, it's not dangerous to do that.
00:09:05
Speaker
yeah The world's not going to end if I decide to say no to this person or no to this opportunity or not take that job that seems like it's perfect on paper, the world will keep opening doors that are more aligned if you make more aligned decisions. Yeah. Oh, 100%. actually remind me... It reminds me so much of a, I follow somebody on on Instagram um and I forget the name of his Instagram page. And the only reason why I remember him is because his thing is he does a daily rejection therapy where every day he goes, I've asked somebody for something that he knows they'll say no to. And he does it so that he can accept, you know, being rejected. And it just reminds me of that. It's like, you know, when it happens, it's not the end of the world. Life goes on. and it's the same thing, saying no to people.
00:09:52
Speaker
The world's not going to end. They're not going to hate you. People usually accept boundaries, don't they? And people have boundaries and it's okay for you to have those boundaries too. And I love that you you discovered that for yourself and you you stopped that you've stoped that from from happening for you.
00:10:09
Speaker
So what does that say? Sorry, carry on, carry on. I think that's really interesting that you brought that up because at the start of my journey, I was almost... I did it a little bit differently where i was a little bit afraid of that rejection. And so I'm such a proponent of creating your own opportunities. So when I launched Book of Bijou,
00:10:30
Speaker
I knew that I needed to get out into the different vendor markets and get this product out in front of people. But I had this, again, another conversation with myself. This is like perfect for this podcast, the inner voice, right? The second voice.
00:10:42
Speaker
Where I knew I had to apply to markets to be able to get in. And I really didn't want to deal with applying and then getting rejected. So that is what led me to creating or hosting our own market because we're Why apply and get rejected? Why don't I just create this opportunity for myself where I'm a guaranteed in, right?
00:11:02
Speaker
i gave myself that first yes. And that allowed me to build momentum. And I think there are so many people that don't even realize that that's an option that you get to create those opportunities
Balancing Entrepreneurship and Family Life
00:11:14
Speaker
for yourself. You don't have to wait for that opportunity to be handed to you by somebody else.
00:11:19
Speaker
Yeah, that's so true. And I love how you dealt with that second voice. It's like, you know, I'm not totally different strategy. I'm like, okay, I don't want to hear the no The no terrifies me. I'm just going to create a yes for myself. And I so love that as a strategy. I've not heard anybody do that before. And I think that's such a fantastic way to tackle it. And also it takes some bravery too. It's like, you know, listening to that.
00:11:44
Speaker
you know, and for, for the audience out there, you know, it's just, sometimes it just takes that little bit of, a little bit of bravery and backing yourself and saying, no, like, I know this is what I can do and I know I'm worthy and I'm going to go that way anyway, even though the voice is still telling you, no, it's, it's not, it's not right.
00:12:02
Speaker
Yeah. I think we also always have these false narratives that we create for o ourselves and, you When we actually look back at the evidence that's in our past, you know, when I made the decision to launch my business, I had that question that we all have of, can I really do this? Like, can I be successful? Can I pull this off?
00:12:24
Speaker
But in reality, even though those doubts were weighing so heavily on my mind, in reality, the evidence that I've had from my past experience showed the contrary, where anytime anyone else asked me to do something, I i showed up and I did it well. Yeah.
00:12:40
Speaker
um So why is it that when we start to do something for ourselves, all of a sudden that narrative changes? Yeah, it's so bizarre. I just feel like we may be raised in a in a world where we're, you know, we end up believing that we're not worthy of that, you know, putting other people first. And um yeah, it's ah it's a strange thing. And I think a lot of people would empathize with that because they would would see that in themselves. Yeah.
00:13:07
Speaker
um Tell me more about like being a mom in this. So um ah I like that you brought up earlier that you've enjoyed taking your children with you to these things and them seeing you living and breathing the opportunities that you've created for yourself.
00:13:22
Speaker
has has Did your self-talk change when you had children, when you had your babies, or is it something that you've had to work on? Tell me more about that. I don't think the self-talk changed as much as more of the outward communication. And that was something that I continue to work on more and more. And it was really interesting because at the start of my relationship with my partner, i wasn't an entrepreneur. and for anyone that's in a relationship and then you became an entrepreneur after the fact, the dynamic changes quite a bit. And it's really interesting, especially if your partner is not also an entrepreneur.
00:14:03
Speaker
So being a woman, we kind of feel like we have to keep everything to ourselves because we're taking care of everyone, right? We hold all the things. We make all the decisions. We are the ones that nurture and keep everything in line. And so in building the businesses in the beginning, that's what I was doing. I was kind of doing everything myself, even though I was creating this community at home, i still kind of created this isolation for myself where I was focused on building, but not really letting my family in on what it was that I was building. And we were,
00:14:38
Speaker
Honestly, if I'm being completely transparent, me and my partner, we were already a little bit rocky to begin with. Parenthood, it does things to a relationship. It does, yeah. It is challenging. So add in me all a sudden and becoming an entrepreneur on top of that, it it rocks the boat a little bit more. And so it really got to a point where I had to let him in completely because he had this kind of superficial perception of why i was doing this all of a sudden, right? And it was really kind of this ah perception that I was just doing it for the money and to be known. And I was like, oh my gosh, you don't know me at all. That's not at all why I'm doing it. And I realized, okay, I need to share a little bit more about what's on my heart and what I'm thinking in my head and what I'm wanting to create if I'm going to make sure that this is successful.
Self-Care and Parenting: Choosing Yourself
00:15:28
Speaker
And also something that's still very, you know, something that's successful within my home and not just for me personally? How do I bring my family into it? So we're really building this together. And so I've really had to get a lot better at, for one, asking for help.
00:15:47
Speaker
Two, being fully transparent of this is like, these are my big crazy dreams that I want to build. And I know it might sound crazy, but this is really, truly what I want to create. And this is what I believe in for myself. And this is what I've always had on my heart. And I'm finally letting it out little by little by little. And I hope that you can support me in that.
00:16:05
Speaker
And then in having those those conversations with my partner, not only does he fully understand now what I'm creating and he's starting to see like the impact of what it is that we're building and he's showing up and being supportive of it. It's also showed me how much more I need to be communicative with my children as well. and bring them in on it. So it's not like, oh, mommy has to work. Oh, mommy doesn't want to spend time with us. They also get to see the inner workings of what it is that I'm building and why I'm building it, why I'm showing up for a meeting one day on a Monday night when I could be having dinner with them, right? And this is not something that I typically do, but in the moments that I do do it, they get a little bit of a deeper understanding of the work that I'm doing and why I'm doing it.
00:16:48
Speaker
And they also get to see kind of themselves in that role. And something that i love sharing with other women that start to feel a little bit of that guilt of stepping away and spending that time on themselves, I really look at the work that I do as a form of self-love and self-care because it fills me up. yeah And what I love to share is that you are showing your children that it's okay to choose themselves too.
00:17:13
Speaker
It's not that you're choosing them over them. It's not that you're choosing yourself over them. It's that you're showing them it's okay to choose yourself. yeah And that's powerful. So powerful.
00:17:25
Speaker
And I love that you say that too, because you know I'm the kind of person where i I'll say things to myself like this. I'm going to stack the dishwasher, I'll do this chore and then I'll reward myself with some work. It's like, who says that? You know, like I'm going to do this pit of horrible work so that I can reward myself with the thing that I actually love doing. And, you know, ah I loved, I love the work that I do. i really enjoy leadership, and entrepreneurship. andm very passionate about it. And I love that my daughter gets to see me in a passionate state
00:17:57
Speaker
And I'm not typically in that, this is the great thing about entrepreneurship, you get to choose your hours too, right? So I'm not working the standard at nine to five. I get to be with her after school um and put work down and and work during school hours. And I feel incredibly lucky to do that. But in the moments that she sees me working, she's seeing me in a ah passionate state doing something I absolutely love and how wonderful it is to see people in that state. I love talking to people who are passionate because it excites me and you know, how wonderful that your children can see you in that, in that way too, right?
00:18:33
Speaker
And find their passions and find and have permission to find their passions and do what they love too. Exactly. I feel like everything, all of the mindset shifts that I've had and the little epiphanies and the moments where I'm pushing myself and when I get to bring my daughters into that, they kind of adopt that mindset too, right? And there you can see them like pushing themselves and really getting creative They always talk about how everything is their business, which is amazing. And they, I do think my oldest daughter is going to be an entrepreneur. Obviously they don't have to be, but you get to see kind of their brain start ticking because of the way that your brain is ticking. So it's really empowering to see that.
00:19:13
Speaker
Oh, a hundred percent. It's, uh, it's really good. It's funny. I'm, I'm in a different situation to, you you know, I, I had my daughter, you know, I've been in business for many, many years, working in business. And then I started my own business nine years ago and my second business two years ago.
00:19:31
Speaker
and my daughter's only four. So I had to shift from being in that space by myself to suddenly having a daughter who I had to, you know, my my whole world changed and my whole thinking around my self-talk and how I do and my business changed, you know, like children change you. in so many different ways, change your relationship, change everything. um So my situation a little bit different because I didn't have to bring in the entrepreneurship. Like my my world was already there and I ah now had to,
00:20:07
Speaker
reshift it all to to make room for for my for my family. So that was an interesting that was an interesting shift for me. how How do you make sure that you talk in a way in front of your children that is, I mean, besides showing them and demonstrating and like but being part of that, what kind of, how do you make sure that any negative self-talk that you have isn't then said outwards so that they take on those words for themselves?
00:20:36
Speaker
There are definitely moments where, you know, the stress peaks and you say things that you don't necessarily want to say or, yeah you know, they can they can feel the stress. They can see that the doubt maybe is weighing heavily on you. And in those moments, I am all for giving yourself grace and giving the people around you grace and everything.
00:20:58
Speaker
What we like to do is not really, ah I guess, like a reprimand those moments where we do say something that we shouldn't have said or act in a way we haven't said, but we acknowledge them.
00:21:11
Speaker
And we apologize for it and we kind of talk it through, right? You know, so if I am saying something or if I am acting a certain way, maybe I'm a little bit impatient because I'm stressed out, then that just opens the opportunity, the door for opportunity for more communication, right? Kind of let them know like, you know, it's a really hard challenge. It's a challenging time for a mommy right now. There's a lot of things and a lot of people relying on me. And these are sometimes the decisions and the spaces that we have to be in. if we're going to have businesses and if we're going to be leaders and if we're going to have with these communities. And that's okay. It's okay for times to be challenging and we get to work through it together. um And something that I do with my daughters all the time, i have i have a little boy too, but he's only 20 months. So he doesn't understand a lot the words that i potentially say to him, but it's how are we regulating, right? yeah In those moments where we are feeling a lot of um a lot of emotion, within us. And my daughters are very good now about telling me if they need space. They're definitely the kinds of people that would not would rather not be like hugged or touched or comforted in those moments. And they ask for space. And sometimes I say that as well. Like I'm a little stressed out. Sometimes I i need space right now to too. you
00:22:26
Speaker
And that's okay. yeah And I think it's so important to be able to also share those moments where maybe we did make mistakes or maybe something is hard for us because again, we're showing them that that's normal.
Overcoming Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome
00:22:38
Speaker
yeah And it's okay to let people in. And it's important to communicate that and to know that you're not alone in it. Because even if you want space, you still know that there is safe space and safe people around you to support you when you're ready for that support.
00:22:52
Speaker
Yeah. And it's okay also to not be perfect. I mean, you touched on that whole perfectionism earlier when you were talking about, you know, like creating this perfect, you know, image of what it was and, you know create a family, go to college, go, you know,
00:23:08
Speaker
get get the job. And, you know, I've certainly gotten to a point where, you know, I had a huge perfectionism streak inside me and I've so i've worked really hard to yeah i had to work really hard to let that go because I don't want my daughter to inherit that, you know, and i want to break that cycle.
00:23:28
Speaker
I couldn't agree more. that i So in high school, I actually thought I was going to be a fashion designer. Really? And I wanted to go to FITM. But again, that wasn't a traditional college. That wouldn't get me a real job. So I didn't end up going. But there was a moment where you know i was like, I'm going to be the next household name. And i went and got like a shirt and created my stencil and then got some fabric paint and created a shirt And then I wore it to school and I got a handful of, you know, just like verbal orders from people. And I said, oh my gosh, this is amazing. And then I went home that day and I would stare at the shirt and I was like, there's just, and something's not quite right about it. And I'm not going to put it out into the world if it's not perfect.
00:24:10
Speaker
Long story short, I did nothing with it. Nothing came out of that because I didn't take the next step because I was still so stuck in that perfection mode. And I do still see glimpses of that in me now.
00:24:20
Speaker
But because I've gotten so much better at recognizing the power of just doing and getting clarity and refining from there, and I've recognized how much momentum I've built from doing that, I'm no longer in that. But I see like there are still moments where I'm like, oh, that's kind of like and not quite right. And I see my daughter is also, she's she's kind of a natural perfectionism, perfectionist. And so I try to challenge myself to not overcorrect her.
00:24:50
Speaker
And to kind of let, to to have both of us in more of that, let's just play, let's just create, let's just see what happens mode. And it's another just practice that you have to keep on doing until it feels a little bit more natural and it feels a little bit more comfortable.
00:25:06
Speaker
it's It's so hard though, isn't it? To not, you know, I've had to stop myself. I didn't even realize I was doing it until my daughter repeated it you know, she'll do something and she'll put shoes on. And in the way I encourage her is go, great, that's perfect.
00:25:21
Speaker
And then I'm like, holy, you know, like I'm using that word every time. And then, cause then she'll say to me, oh, perfect. And I'm like, oh, I need to actually stop saying that's perfect because I don't want her to think that's the level that we need to aspire to. And it's so funny. It's just so natural. And until it gets mirrored to you or repeated to you, sometimes you don't even know that you're doing it, right?
00:25:44
Speaker
Yeah, I see love that. Just even that small shift of not using that word anymore. Anytime someone else mentions it, like anytime the kids mention it, I'm like, oh, well, perfect.
00:25:55
Speaker
Perfect's not real anyway. yeah um Imposter syndrome. m at ah It's funny. i was talking I was talking to one of my guests yesterday. We were talking about imposter syndrome. And, you know, he was saying how everybody has imposter syndrome and he's met higher politicians. He's met very senior leaders in large corporates. And I think people talk about imposter syndrome like, yeah, imposter syndrome, like only some people get it. I would agree, like everybody faces imposter syndrome at some point. has it How has it turned up for you?
00:26:32
Speaker
It turns up. it's It turns up for sure. I met one person finally that's that has said, I don't think that has ever bothered me. Wow. But everyone else that I've met, yes, imposter syndrome is a real thing. yeah And it's something it's I feel like I'm in a very interesting space where the momentum that I've had and the things that I've built over these past few years has put me in a position where people are looking to me a a founder and a leader and someone that is doing really well. Right. But then because of that, and because I've been doing more speaking engagements, I'm also all of a sudden in these rooms with women that are really, really doing well.
00:27:15
Speaker
And I'm like, Oh, interesting. I'm kind of the underdog here. And honestly, person being able to shift your mindset is such a skill that I think every entrepreneur needs. And I was at an event recently where I was a speaker on this lineup where all of these women were doing amazing things and the imposter syndrome hit.
00:27:39
Speaker
And it was, they were, they all kind of knew each other and they were all friends. And I was like, oh my gosh, what am I doing here? Like, do I really have something to offer? I haven't been in business that long. I haven't made as much money as they had. But again, that reframe that I was able to kind of kick into high gear was not that, oh, I don't belong in this room.
00:28:00
Speaker
because they haven't done what they've done, but instead, wow, look at the room that I've allowed myself to be in and that gets to be me in the near future. Amazing. And that's very quick reframe for me now of, holy moly, the caliber of people that I'm surrounded by can be intimidating, but wow, look at the caliber of people that I'm surrounded by now and the more you surround yourself with those people, you have no choice but to rise to their level.
00:28:29
Speaker
A hundred percent. I love that. I always say that you're only as good as the people you surround yourself with. And if you hold yourself back, you're, you know, and you're only going to put yourself in those comfortable situations, you're not going to excel. And that's such an important reframe. It works amazing. And like, what a great opportunity to learn from. And i' I'll tell you what, here's a secret. I guarantee you that many of those women in that room would be feeling the same, would be feeling the same. And oh my God, yeah, we we've host we host a lot of events. And some of the women that have attended those events, simply for the fact that people are speakers and some people are not, they will automatically assume so many things about you yeah just because you're a speaker on stage. And one of our guests was like,
00:29:15
Speaker
we What we like to do with our events is bring women on from our community, regardless of how long they've been in business, regardless of what success they've attained for themselves. We mentioned that the beginning of this, right? So I put someone on that has never done a speaking engagement, but anytime we had one-on-one conversation, i was like, you are dropping some amazing gems. We need to get you on stage. And she responded, oh, I'm not a speaker.
00:29:39
Speaker
but I was like, let's do it anyway. Let's just see how it goes. And she was very new in business. But someone in the audience thought that she had been in business for years. And I think we really need to start stop stop creating those false narratives. Stop assuming things about anyone because you never know.
00:29:55
Speaker
People are always showing the highlight reels. People are always showing the best parts of themselves. And I think that's why it's so important. And I love that you're doing this with your podcast is that we really need to pull back the curtain on what that second voice is, on what we're actually saying internally, because then we get to create that resonance with our audience. Yeah. Because everyone is dealing with imposter syndrome, except for that one person that I met all the time. Well, I want to meet that person. Can introduce me? Because I need them on the podcast and say, can you tell me what goes on in your mind? Because we all need to know how do you beat it? And that is not the normal. It's not the normal. And it's so true about the highlight reel and social media has exacerbated this. And like, we do put the highlight reels up because you know, putting yourself out there and building authority, especially in business.
Vulnerability in Business: Public vs Private
00:30:43
Speaker
I'm, I'm my most used social media platform is LinkedIn. And, you know, started getting into this habit every now and again, I put on a hashtag mistake of the day because, and like put on there, like, this is, this is the reality of what I did today. really messed up. And, you know, I had to face that because you do get into this routine of putting up and building authority and only putting up the
00:31:08
Speaker
the perfect stuff, you know, go back to that perfect word. yeah um and it's And it's funny, the assumptions people make, like this year, my business, my my my new business has been lucky enough to be um nominated for a heap of awards, be finalists, we've won two awards. And then I bump into people that are know I know, I'm like, your business and must be doing amazing. It's so fantastic. And I'll tell you what, like, yeah, the the awards look amazing. but I cannot tell you how every day it is just a hard, it's hard work. And some days that business makes zero sales, zero sales. And I'm sitting here wondering, is this business ever going to be successful? That's the reality. So you, you're seeing like the awards and it looks fantastic. And on my end, I'm sitting at my desk, like, okay, i scratching my head, how am I going to make sales this week?
00:31:56
Speaker
You know, right and that challenging those assumptions, we're we're responsible for that. And you have to put that, you have to find a trusted community that you can do that. It's a huge reason why, as you say, I started this podcast, because if you're out there listening, thinking all these amazing people come on and they're all perfect and they all only say good things to themselves. We don't like it just, it's not the reality.
00:32:20
Speaker
You know, I had a conversation with myself. um Clearly I talked to myself quite a bit. Early on in my entrepreneurial journey, when i was dealing with some manufacturing issues, I don't know if you've had any experience with manufacturing. It's absolutely wild. Yes. and basically, my manufacturer was dropping all of the balls. yeah And so...
00:32:43
Speaker
I 100% expected things to not go my way. If you're going to go into business, you have to know that things are not going to go your way and you have to be ready for that. So I was mentally prepared for it, but I was not mentally prepared for it happening so soon, I don't think. So I really had to have a heart to heart with myself of, okay, how do I want to show up in this moment?
00:33:03
Speaker
Because something very challenging is happening, but it was right. We hadn't even really built our community yet. And I was still trying to build our audience and I was still building these connections. And I was like, do I want to show up as this pretty shiny brand where everyone just sees the success and everyone's kind of like just cheering on from afar? Or do I want to lead with transparency and with vulnerability? And that feels scary. yeah But I chose the latter.
00:33:31
Speaker
And I really wanted to be able be able to take people on the journey with me. And at that moment I showed up on socials and I did like an IG live or a story or something. And I was just sharing how the disappointment that I was feeling, the frustration that I was feeling.
00:33:47
Speaker
That moment opened my eyes so much because I got all of these messages from people that i never even connected with yet. Basically sharing their own challenges with business and showing up in support of me. And I have most of those relationships still to this day that i have grown into really beautiful, true relationships because I've allowed myself to be vulnerable. And I know that's so hard for so many of us, especially as women. But I will say there's never been one moment of vulnerability that I had that I regretted.
00:34:17
Speaker
Yeah. It always came up with something positive in the end. Oh, and how good do you feel afterwards? Yeah. Like I always feel a little sense of relief. It's a weight off. It so is. It's like, oh, man, like ah I don't have to pretend that everything is, you know, unicorns and rainbows all the time and you can just be yourself. And i want I want my daughter to feel that. You know, I didn't have that growing up. I so badly want her to experience that and to know that it's okay
00:34:51
Speaker
to bring her full self, you know, and how else is she going to learn that unless I do that, you know, and say, and say, sorry, and tell her I made a mistake and tell her oh this, this mistake happened today. And also this is how I pick myself up and try it again. You know, it's like, I'm not giving up. I'm going to try again, you know, so we the the way that we position us ourselves as a leader, both professionally and personally, like that trickles down to everybody. And I've seen that. And I think it's so important that we continue to give ourselves grace and those moments of vulnerabilit vulnerability because as as hard as it is for ourselves, there are people out there that it might be even harder for them. And we're giving them the permission slip to do that, to do that right? Even though they don't need that permission slip, but they're seeing we're giving them the real life examples that it's okay to do that.
00:35:41
Speaker
And it's important to do that. We need to be able to let people in. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, you know, there's that weird statistic. I don't even know the exact number of how many new businesses fail. And I often wonder if, you know, so many new businesses fail because um people expect it to be a hundred percent successful from the very beginning and don't realize because people don't talk about it, the huge effort and journey that it takes over, it you know, sometimes years for something to take off and do really well.
00:36:14
Speaker
And it just takes that staying power um behind it. You know, I often often wonder. So if you're if you're listening to this and you're wanting to start a business, Don't wait for perfect.
Encouraging New Entrepreneurs
00:36:28
Speaker
Don't, don't wait.
00:36:29
Speaker
And also know that, yeah. And, you know, and and also know that it's going to, uh, it does get better and then you're going to have days where it's worse, but that's part of the journey, you know?
00:36:42
Speaker
It is 100% roller coaster, but it's going to be the ride of your life. And i promise it's so much more fun when you ride that roller coaster with other people. yeah i have been so blessed to have some incredible women talk me off the ledge recently. And that's how i mean that's how real this is. like yeah We all have challenges, but we need people to be able to hold us through that. And that doesn't mean that you're weak.
00:37:08
Speaker
That doesn't mean you're not capable of being successful. It just means you're a real human. Yeah, 100%. so So what's next for you and your businesses? What's what's the next part of your journey?
00:37:21
Speaker
So many things. ah So we have expanded our in-person community, which has been wonderful. So we're all over California. We've expanded into Milwaukee. We've just announced Florida, and we're also gonna be announcing Arizona very soon. I've also started, well you mentioned in this bio, but the coaching on the brand systems and visibility strategy side has been a new occurrence for me. So I'm excited to dive into that a little bit deeper come next year, We have our second annual summit coming up in just a couple of weeks. I don't know if this will have already been live by then, November 15th here in the Bay Area in California, which I'm really excited for. We're bringing together some amazing women. But once that event is over through the end of the year, possibly even into January, I'm really buckling down on all of the back end things so we can create more structure. I'm all about sustainable visibility and making sure you have processes in place for So getting all of our systems in place so that the people in our world can succeed and we can grow together is what's on the horizon. When are you going global? Would you like to come to Australia? You know, conversations are happening. Conversations are happening. Okay. So we, the energy that we have in our space is so beautiful and so sacred. And so I am being mindful of who we're putting in which roles, but people have been presenting themselves and we're having the conversations and we'll see where it goes.
00:38:46
Speaker
Excellent. Well, I look forward to hearing what's going to happen here. I will have my ears pricked and I'm sure you'll stay in touch with with us anyway. ah One final thing, like if you had a, any heartfelt tips for moms in business, and entrepreneurs, leaders, it's not only in entrepreneurs listening to this podcast as leaders, like what are your tips to them in, you know, in their self-talk and in their journey being moms? You've given us some gold, but you know, one final tip, if you have any.
00:39:18
Speaker
I share this in a recent podcast that I did, but I want to share it again because I think it's such an important message, is that it's okay to drop the ball in some places. We can't keep carrying it all. It's literally impossible. And i read this, that quote, that it's okay to drop the ball, sometime earlier this year. And it was like such a light bulb moment for me because nobody says that.
00:39:47
Speaker
Nobody says we're allowed to drop the ball. What do you mean we're allowed to drop the ball? What do you mean we don't have to show up and do all the things and do it all really well and give 100% to our business and give 100% our kids and give 100% our house and to our partner? Like, what do you mean it's okay to maybe show up and do 50% one day?
00:40:04
Speaker
That was such a validation. And I think it's allowed me to show up even more in all of these different areas. And again, just recognize that life is a dance. It's okay to be here on some days and it's okay to be here on the other side and move a little bit faster on other days. It's okay to drop the ball. Get rid of that super mom badge that was given to you that you didn't even want to begin with.
00:40:30
Speaker
Just show up and do what's on your heart and be present with your family and then be present in your business when it's time to do that. And this is your life. So live it to the fullest. Amazing.
00:40:41
Speaker
Such a great tip. ah You know, I often tell people to, you know, We tell ourselves, do your best, but we think your best is the same level every single day. and sometimes your best is getting out of bed and making a cup of coffee and having a break.
00:40:56
Speaker
You know? Your best for you, your best for your body. The best for you that day is not the same level of best every single day. And yeah, it's okay to drop the ball. I've written that down. It's okay to drop the ball because it's such an important thing to remember.
00:41:12
Speaker
So thank you so much, k Crystal. Where can people find you? People are interested in you know, connecting with you, working with you if they're in your region, in your area, where can they go?
00:41:23
Speaker
So Empowered by Women, a women spelled W-M-N is both our Instagram handle and our web website empoweredbywomen.com. If you want to follow the coaching side of things, I'm on Instagram. I am k crystal J or you can find me on LinkedIn crystal drug up. That's also my website for speaking and coaching crystal drug up.com. And then for the products line, book of bijou.com.
00:41:45
Speaker
I know it's a lot, but I'm sure you're going to throw it in the notes. I'll put it all in the notes. I'll put all the links in there for people to see, but I want people to hear from you where the best places are to go. um but please go along. I follow Crystal. She's amazing. She's really inspiring. She's really real. And I am so grateful you made time for me today. It's a new podcast. So I'm just so lucky to have some incredible people agree to come speak on this podcast. And i ah so look forward to to seeing your success, Crystal. And, um, Hopefully, you know, I'll bring you back on someday and we can talk about all the amazing things where you've gone global. You know, I'm looking forward to it. gosh, 100%. We're setting a date. We're setting a date. Thank you so much. So thank you to everyone for joining us today. I hope you could hear that being a mom in entrepreneurship isn't about perfection, juggling all the balls, doing everything 100% right.
00:42:39
Speaker
It's about making sure that our inner voice is kind to ourselves and and allowing us to show up in a way that's kind to our children and to the people around us and about having a community of people around you that supports and lifts you so that you can allow yourself to be vulnerable and allow yourself to succeed and learn from your failures. Thank you so much for joining me. We'll see you next time on the Second Voice Podcast. Take care. Bye.