Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Decide to Feel Beautiful Now
25 Plays1 year ago
In our twenty-ninth episode, "Decide to Feel Beautiful Now," we are honored to welcome Kim Brundage, a renowned brand portrait photographer and advocate for body positivity.
Kim's journey from struggling with confidence to embracing self-love offers a refreshing perspective on body image. Through her lens, Kim captures the essence of empowerment and celebrates the beauty of every individual.
Join us as we explore the transformative power of self-acceptance and redefine what it means to feel beautiful in our own skin. 💫📸
Positively Healthy Coaching
The Positively Healthy Mom FB Group
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Positively Healthy Mom
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey moms, it's Laura Olinger.
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
00:00:05
Speaker
Because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:00:08
Speaker
Hello, this is Laura Olinger from the Positively Healthy Mom.
00:00:14
Speaker
So today we have Kim Brundridge.
00:00:17
Speaker
Oh, I messed it up.
00:00:18
Speaker
I swore I wasn't going to do that.
00:00:19
Speaker
Go ahead.
00:00:21
Speaker
Kim Brundridge is my guest.
00:00:23
Speaker
Welcome, Kim.
00:00:24
Speaker
Welcome to our audience.
00:00:24
Speaker
Welcome to our audience.
00:00:27
Speaker
Thank you so much for inviting me.
00:00:29
Speaker
I'm so excited to be here today.
00:00:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:31
Speaker
So I brought you on because you are an amazing photographer, which is in its own right, you know, a big conversation.
00:00:41
Speaker
But I love what you have done with your career because you kind of combined your personal life and your professional life to truly create your passion of what you love to do.
00:00:52
Speaker
So can you tell us kind of the backstory and kind of what you're doing now?
00:00:58
Speaker
So the backstory on the photography journey part portion of it.
00:01:02
Speaker
Yeah.
Kim Brundridge's Photography Journey
00:01:04
Speaker
Okay.
00:01:04
Speaker
So I always wanted to be a photographer since I was in seventh grade and I, you know, a lot was going on within my family and I just squelched it.
00:01:13
Speaker
And then as I got older, I squelched it and I just, but you could see in my life, like things I was buying photography related and I was really, it was always in me.
00:01:25
Speaker
And then when my son was born in 2001, then I finally had a muse that I could play with anytime I wanted.
00:01:33
Speaker
So that really skyrocketed my passion for photography.
00:01:40
Speaker
And then as I was growing, I was in the corporate world doing marketing and branding.
00:01:46
Speaker
And then I decided I wanted to combine my love of photography with marketing and branding and helping entrepreneurs like yourself
00:01:53
Speaker
shine and make that great first impression and have people magnetize towards your brand, seeing your visual visuals, because they're so important, you know, we're in such a virtual world and we're not able to meet everyone.
00:02:05
Speaker
And we're also able to reach out and expand internationally now.
00:02:10
Speaker
So true.
00:02:11
Speaker
So you love to just capture, especially female entrepreneurs presenting themselves in their best light to kind of market themselves and their businesses and their services to the world.
00:02:21
Speaker
And that's super exciting.
00:02:23
Speaker
You must meet all sorts of neat ladies and hear all about their businesses.
Empowering Women Through Photography
00:02:28
Speaker
What's the most part of that?
00:02:31
Speaker
The most part of that is just being around strong women like that.
00:02:35
Speaker
I love that, you know, seeing women go for their dreams and their goals and making such a positive difference in our community like you are.
00:02:43
Speaker
I mean, that's just so inspirational.
00:02:45
Speaker
And we need people like yourself to share that positivity.
00:02:50
Speaker
I mean, I love your tagline.
00:02:52
Speaker
I was like, there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:02:55
Speaker
And it's so true.
00:02:57
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:57
Speaker
Thank you.
00:02:58
Speaker
I know.
00:02:59
Speaker
Right.
00:02:59
Speaker
There isn't like, we're all just figuring this out and together we have to support each other as women, as, as, and as moms, right.
00:03:06
Speaker
To like raise each other up and be encouraging and supportive.
00:03:10
Speaker
And the topic that I'm so excited to bring up today is one of inner and outer beauty and the confidence that comes kind of from the inside, but also outside.
00:03:21
Speaker
And so can you share a little bit more about what you've been doing with that?
00:03:27
Speaker
Yeah, and that's part of that personal journey I think you were getting to.
00:03:30
Speaker
And now I'm going to bring it up after they have that background.
00:03:34
Speaker
But I didn't see my beauty until I photographed myself.
00:03:38
Speaker
And one day I locked the door to the studio and I didn't tell my husband or son what I was doing.
00:03:45
Speaker
And I didn't grow up understanding about angles and lighting.
00:03:50
Speaker
Obviously, most of us don't.
00:03:51
Speaker
And I didn't like any pictures of myself.
00:03:53
Speaker
So I was like, all right, I'm going to practice.
00:03:56
Speaker
posing and lighting, and I'm going to delete all the images.
00:03:59
Speaker
Like I was just not going to tell anyone, delete all the images and, you know, hopefully learn something from my experience.
00:04:05
Speaker
And what I learned was so profound.
00:04:07
Speaker
I finally saw my beauty and I saw some images off the back of the camera.
00:04:12
Speaker
And then I was like, oh my goodness.
00:04:14
Speaker
And I went and pulled them up on the computer to see them on the big screen.
00:04:17
Speaker
And I, and then I called in my husband and my son.
00:04:20
Speaker
I'm like, look at this.
00:04:21
Speaker
I'm like, oh my gosh, you look great.
00:04:23
Speaker
And
00:04:24
Speaker
they, you know, they were so positive, enthusiastic.
00:04:26
Speaker
And of course my husband told me I was beautiful, but I didn't really, really believe them because I didn't see it for myself.
00:04:33
Speaker
And that's another further light that's went off.
00:04:36
Speaker
Aha moment was like, I know there's so many women that are feel, you know, not the beauty standard that we're all presented with.
00:04:45
Speaker
And so what can I do?
00:04:48
Speaker
to show them their beauty and boost their confidence so that they can go out and get their dreams and goals.
00:04:53
Speaker
Because when you have great images of yourself, then you put yourself out there more and take more steps to get to your goals and dreams.
00:05:02
Speaker
It's such a ripple effect.
00:05:03
Speaker
Yeah, that's actually so true.
00:05:05
Speaker
So in a way,
00:05:07
Speaker
you know, part of your mission on helping women is really helping them serve their audiences to the best of their ability because they wouldn't be able to reach those people if they weren't willing to put themselves out there.
00:05:17
Speaker
And in order to put themselves out there, they're needing to feel confident and feel beautiful because it is a big deal to take a risk.
00:05:24
Speaker
Like I remember when I first started doing all my social media marketing,
00:05:28
Speaker
It was scary.
00:05:30
Speaker
I was like, okay, I'm pressing, you know, post.
00:05:34
Speaker
And I was like, oh gosh, you know, I hope people don't judge me.
00:05:37
Speaker
It has taken me a while to really build that and that confidence up.
00:05:42
Speaker
And even if there's, you know, I do have typos or errors every once in a while or something's
00:05:47
Speaker
perfect.
00:05:47
Speaker
I just have to be, right.
00:05:49
Speaker
I have to really willing to roll with it and go with it because overall the message is there that of what I'm doing.
00:05:56
Speaker
Right.
00:05:57
Speaker
Right.
00:05:57
Speaker
Right.
00:05:57
Speaker
Exactly.
00:05:58
Speaker
Right.
00:05:58
Speaker
It doesn't have to be this standard of everything is perfect all the time for everything because then it's not.
00:06:03
Speaker
Right.
00:06:05
Speaker
Nobody wants to talk to some robot, right?
00:06:08
Speaker
No, exactly.
00:06:10
Speaker
I know.
00:06:11
Speaker
Even that's why I was laughing because I don't know if you saw my cat.
00:06:13
Speaker
She likes to bring my shoes.
00:06:16
Speaker
And it's like, you know, some people might be like, oh, get that cat out of here.
00:06:19
Speaker
But I'm like, oh, that's my cat.
00:06:20
Speaker
She's here.
00:06:21
Speaker
She lives here.
00:06:23
Speaker
Right.
00:06:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:25
Speaker
And I think you brought up the topic too, but just how vulnerable it is.
00:06:29
Speaker
And so it's vulnerable to have your picture taken.
00:06:31
Speaker
It's vulnerable to put yourself out there.
00:06:34
Speaker
And it does take an act of courage.
00:06:36
Speaker
And so I really work hard to see what I can do to empower
Preparing Clients for Authenticity
00:06:40
Speaker
people.
00:06:40
Speaker
And so that's why I include services to help them feel and look their best when they show up.
00:06:46
Speaker
So it's not just about the photography.
00:06:48
Speaker
And so that makes a really good difference.
00:06:53
Speaker
But I'm so glad that you put yourself out there.
00:06:57
Speaker
Yeah, it took a lot of courage.
00:06:59
Speaker
Me too.
00:06:59
Speaker
I mean, I knew I had to do it because I can't reach my audience unless I did it.
00:07:03
Speaker
So that was just the hurdle.
00:07:04
Speaker
And anybody who's listening today, you know, it's funny, I hadn't thought of that's where this conversation would go, but maybe they're on the verge of starting a business or just wanting a mission that's, you know, a charitable mission, right?
00:07:15
Speaker
A lot of friends who help with all sorts of nonprofits and even that is a risk.
00:07:21
Speaker
And so, you know, press that post button and feel good and feel okay about it.
00:07:26
Speaker
I love that you have been part of that process for so many women.
00:07:31
Speaker
And so what are, you know, when they do come to see you for the photography part, how do you help kind of, you know, be vulnerable and open up at like kind of radiate confidence?
00:07:41
Speaker
Like, is there anything that you do in this?
00:07:44
Speaker
I do.
00:07:45
Speaker
So I,
00:07:46
Speaker
my first basis, but based on my marketing background is like, let's set your intention.
00:07:50
Speaker
What are your three to five words that you want to convey with your images?
00:07:54
Speaker
And then I also have,
00:07:56
Speaker
that day they get camera ready makeup and hairstyling and then wardrobe styling support ahead of time too.
00:08:03
Speaker
And we have a full pre-branding consult where we really dive deep and we talk about expectations and how it's going to flow and what they need to bring.
00:08:13
Speaker
And there's a lot of preparation to it.
00:08:15
Speaker
It's not just show up and then try to smile.
00:08:19
Speaker
And you know, a lot of people,
00:08:23
Speaker
We'll do five outfits, but the first outfit they're a little nervous about.
00:08:27
Speaker
And then by the second outfit, they're like, okay, you know, this is just my new friend, Kim, and that we're just having a conversation and she happens to have a camera.
00:08:35
Speaker
And that's when, you know, you really want to let that guard down and really come through your authentic self.
00:08:42
Speaker
So people can see that and feel that.
00:08:44
Speaker
And the best compliments I get about my work is we don't know the people in your images, but we feel like we do because of their personality shines through.
00:08:52
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:08:53
Speaker
That is quite a compliment.
00:08:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:55
Speaker
I mean, that's volumes to what you are doing to bring them alive off the camera and make them real.
00:09:03
Speaker
That's really cool.
00:09:05
Speaker
So my next question is, what would you, okay, so how, when you went in and did that photo, locked yourself and did your photo session and, you know, played around until you found how you felt beautiful.
00:09:17
Speaker
How old do you remember about like, how old were you when that happened?
00:09:21
Speaker
I was 44.
00:09:22
Speaker
It wasn't that long ago.
00:09:24
Speaker
So I was, yeah, I mean, I've been running around.
00:09:28
Speaker
I mean, I had a family that was really hard on me and, you know, would point out those flaws consistently.
00:09:37
Speaker
And so I didn't feel good about myself and didn't think I was beautiful or attractive and didn't know my own power.
00:09:45
Speaker
Like,
00:09:46
Speaker
you know, your twenties are supposed to be the, you know, your top of your game as far as your beauty standards go.
00:09:53
Speaker
And I didn't know the power I had.
00:09:55
Speaker
And, and so I, you know, I bought into that.
00:09:59
Speaker
My mom, when I turned 39, I was divorced and a single.
00:10:04
Speaker
And she was like, you are never going to find a man.
00:10:07
Speaker
So you need breast augmentation and me, I'm going to pay for it.
00:10:12
Speaker
And so it was just heartbreaking to like,
00:10:15
Speaker
have your family not see your beauty either and, and not accept you for how you were.
00:10:24
Speaker
And I didn't get that breast augmentation.
00:10:26
Speaker
I'm glad I didn't.
00:10:28
Speaker
That wasn't the right decision for me, but that was, you know, I found that to be really hurtful.
Rejecting Beauty Pressures
00:10:34
Speaker
Right.
00:10:35
Speaker
That's what it would take to, for you to have value.
00:10:40
Speaker
Right.
00:10:42
Speaker
Right.
00:10:42
Speaker
Like that, that's what you needed.
00:10:45
Speaker
Right.
00:10:46
Speaker
So maybe, you know, I always try to give people even some very strange things, the benefit of the doubt.
00:10:52
Speaker
Right.
00:10:53
Speaker
As far as like the intention was there.
00:10:55
Speaker
Right.
00:10:55
Speaker
Like the intention was there.
00:10:57
Speaker
I love my daughter.
00:10:58
Speaker
I want her to be happy.
00:10:59
Speaker
I want to find what she's looking for.
00:11:01
Speaker
Right.
00:11:02
Speaker
So I jump all over that and say, Oh my gosh, what a woman.
00:11:07
Speaker
Right.
00:11:07
Speaker
I don't want to go there, but like, right.
00:11:08
Speaker
The intention of love was probably there.
00:11:11
Speaker
It's just that the way that was expressed was that you need to do yourself so that you will be worthy of a man who loves you.
00:11:18
Speaker
Right.
00:11:19
Speaker
And the ironic part about all of that too, is that I have a husband who,
00:11:24
Speaker
I found a husband, you know, a man soon after that, that absolutely loves and adores me for how I am and celebrates me for how I am, you know, like there's no like, oh, you could be better if you did this.
00:11:38
Speaker
None of that, you know, it just like, and we're crazy about each other and we just really enjoy each other.
00:11:44
Speaker
So that is so affirming to me that, you know, you can be authentic to yourself and stay
00:11:52
Speaker
And of course, find someone that will value that also.
00:11:56
Speaker
Yes, I think that's great because you probably would not have attracted him if you had, you know, taking your mom up on that offer.
00:12:04
Speaker
You would have been giving out some type of a different energetic vibe.
00:12:07
Speaker
Yes.
00:12:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:09
Speaker
And so then you were showing up as like, I'm going to stay true to myself.
00:12:14
Speaker
I'm going to be authentic to what I want for my body.
00:12:16
Speaker
And that probably sent a different signal that he was able to pick up on and be like, wow, this girl is really natural and really beautiful and really, you know, confident and all those things.
00:12:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:25
Speaker
And that's what really aligned you.
00:12:28
Speaker
So because, you know, probably lots of moms on tons of moms have lots of things done to their body.
00:12:33
Speaker
So it's not that that's the it's just that what is right for you.
00:12:37
Speaker
Right.
00:12:38
Speaker
Right.
00:12:39
Speaker
To feel beautiful.
00:12:40
Speaker
And for you, that wasn't the case.
00:12:42
Speaker
So, you know, I'm happy that you stuck through a boundary with your mom.
00:12:48
Speaker
And that's important part, that boundary.
00:12:50
Speaker
But the part that I'm kind of like really fascinated by, and I have my own version of the story as well.
00:12:56
Speaker
Like, you know, I think we all echo a lot with this, but that you were right.
00:13:02
Speaker
When you figured you were beautiful.
00:13:04
Speaker
And so think of all the years that that's right.
00:13:08
Speaker
And so that's.
00:13:09
Speaker
part of when I coach teenagers, sometimes when, especially when they're stuck and it's any type of, not just, you know, physical stuff, but just any type of confidence, it could be body image.
00:13:22
Speaker
It could be, um, just self-certainty, you know, being able to get up and give up presentation in front of class, anything like that.
00:13:28
Speaker
And I say,
00:13:29
Speaker
There are two ways that this could go.
00:13:32
Speaker
I said, you could continue to doubt yourself for the rest of your life.
00:13:36
Speaker
And then when you're 80, you decide you're good enough.
00:13:39
Speaker
But by then you don't have the opportunity to do a lot of these things.
00:13:43
Speaker
Or you could just make that choice now and really enjoy that decision that you've made to just love yourself, have self-certainty, self-confidence, self-worth, whatever it is that they're specifically doing.
00:13:55
Speaker
And then use all those years that they've got ahead of me.
00:13:58
Speaker
I try to say, like, hey, take it from a wise lady.
00:14:01
Speaker
Like, I was there.
00:14:04
Speaker
You know, I was a middle schooler and a high schooler who didn't have confidence.
00:14:08
Speaker
I was in my 20s.
00:14:09
Speaker
I didn't have confidence.
00:14:10
Speaker
That's part of my story.
00:14:12
Speaker
And, you know, it has taken me also into my 40s.
00:14:16
Speaker
It's kind of interesting that we both, like, have that epiphany or aha moment that, like, this is the time that we're ready to shine, but it didn't need to take.
00:14:24
Speaker
Right?
00:14:25
Speaker
No, right.
00:14:26
Speaker
And so that's the other thing I do is I give young girls body image and confidence talks.
00:14:31
Speaker
And I'm very passionate about that because what I found too, is that, you know, when a little girl is two, three, four, she's cute, right?
00:14:41
Speaker
And she gets so many compliments and so much attention, but at some point that fades off.
00:14:47
Speaker
And then when we hit puberty, then the criticism really comes out.
00:14:51
Speaker
Like, you know, how are you developing?
00:14:53
Speaker
And I'll look at those hips and thighs and stuff like that.
00:14:56
Speaker
And you get really self-conscious and that age is self-conscious anyways.
00:15:01
Speaker
And so I talk about, you know, what influences us, what has gotten us here and how we feel.
00:15:09
Speaker
And just because we're teenagers, it doesn't stop.
00:15:12
Speaker
My girlfriend, she has twins and one of her twins reached out.
00:15:16
Speaker
She's 21 years old.
00:15:18
Speaker
And she wants to use anti-aging cream already because she's inundated with all these messages that, oh, I might have a wrinkle here and we need to use this cream to counteract that.
00:15:32
Speaker
And, you know, even, you know, our age, we're getting a lot of anti-aging messages and, you know, our hair is supposed to shine and our face is supposed to glow and we're supposed to be thin, but not too thin.
00:15:44
Speaker
And,
00:15:44
Speaker
You know, it's just like all these messages.
00:15:47
Speaker
And so, you know, unless you know how to counteract those, then you don't, then you just get inundated with how you're just never good enough.
00:15:56
Speaker
Yes.
00:15:56
Speaker
Did you happen to see, I know you have a son, but did you happen to see the Barbie movie?
00:16:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:01
Speaker
Yes, I did see the Barbie movie.
00:16:03
Speaker
That was good because that was kind of like the climax of the movie was when they, you know, the character gives that speech about, look, if Barbie doesn't feel good enough, then how are the rest of us regular women supposed to feel good?
00:16:17
Speaker
Right, right.
00:16:18
Speaker
Exactly.
00:16:19
Speaker
You're all failing.
00:16:20
Speaker
And I loved this felt so empowering for women everywhere.
00:16:24
Speaker
Like we're supposed to be, but not this and this and this, but not that.
00:16:27
Speaker
Right.
00:16:28
Speaker
We have to be confident, but not obnoxious or righty.
00:16:32
Speaker
It's like, where can we win?
00:16:34
Speaker
We can't win.
00:16:36
Speaker
And so this has been part of your work is like making the message that we can win.
00:16:43
Speaker
So when you talk to your teenage audiences, because you give these presentations, which I do.
00:16:48
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:16:49
Speaker
Think is phenomenal.
00:16:51
Speaker
What is kind of some of the messaging that you bring?
00:16:53
Speaker
So you talk about the sources like society or culture, magazines or social media specifically.
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah, right.
00:17:00
Speaker
Explain that.
00:17:01
Speaker
And then with them.
00:17:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:05
Speaker
And it's like all what we surround ourselves with, right?
00:17:08
Speaker
Like if I'm always looking on social media and I see stick thin models that have been Photoshopped, then I'm going to never match up to that because it's not even realistic.
00:17:20
Speaker
And we don't even realize that we're comparing ourselves to people that aren't realistic.
00:17:25
Speaker
They don't even look like that.
00:17:27
Speaker
Cindy Crawford even said, I don't even look like that.
00:17:29
Speaker
So it's, you know, that's huge.
00:17:32
Speaker
And yeah,
00:17:33
Speaker
You know, we just, our brains have that automatic comparison and then our brains are also wired for a negative bias.
00:17:41
Speaker
So we compare and then we're saying, oh, we don't match up to that.
00:17:45
Speaker
And so I'm pissed and we make these agreements.
Self-Acceptance and Body Positivity
00:17:48
Speaker
And then the other thing that was, the other thing in my presentation, I do an exercise of what we like about our bodies.
00:17:56
Speaker
you know, it's very, it'd be very common for you and I to sit down for dinner and then start talking about what we don't like about our bodies.
00:18:02
Speaker
And why is that normal?
00:18:04
Speaker
Right?
00:18:04
Speaker
Like, why is that normal?
00:18:05
Speaker
Like, why can't I say, Laura, I love this about myself.
00:18:09
Speaker
And you like, Oh, yeah, I love that about you, too.
00:18:12
Speaker
And I love this about me.
00:18:13
Speaker
And like, well, you know, why couldn't we have that positive building up conversation?
00:18:18
Speaker
So we do an exercise where we, um,
00:18:23
Speaker
We pair off and then you have to say two things you like about your body.
00:18:27
Speaker
And then the, and you have to say two things you like about the other person's body and then you switch.
00:18:32
Speaker
But you have to say thank you when they say two things they like about your body.
00:18:36
Speaker
And so it was an interesting exercise and I participated in it too.
00:18:41
Speaker
And one of several young girls told me that they liked my nose.
00:18:46
Speaker
And it was interesting because when I was 18, I had a boyfriend and he said, you're cute, but
00:18:54
Speaker
your nose is funky or weird or something like that.
00:18:56
Speaker
And so for some reason I assigned him like the truth and everyone else thought my nose was funky, but, and he was right.
00:19:04
Speaker
And everyone else thought this.
00:19:06
Speaker
And so I made this agreement.
00:19:07
Speaker
And so when these young girls, but I didn't even think about it, right.
00:19:11
Speaker
I didn't even think about it for 20, 30 years.
00:19:14
Speaker
These young girls are telling me they like my nose.
00:19:16
Speaker
And I wanted to say yes, but it's,
00:19:19
Speaker
funky or it's got a ski jump or whatever.
00:19:22
Speaker
And, and I'm like, wait, I'm supposed to say thank you and like really take it in.
00:19:29
Speaker
And so it really helped me rewire my brain.
00:19:33
Speaker
And I didn't really even realize I was holding on to this.
00:19:37
Speaker
And of course, when I photograph people, their vulnerabilities come out and they share these really
00:19:45
Speaker
hurtful things that they've held onto.
00:19:47
Speaker
Like one of my clients, a boy said to her in passing, oh, your hips are big.
00:19:53
Speaker
Well, of course her hips are bigger than that guys, but like her hips are fine.
00:19:58
Speaker
Her hips are normal.
00:20:00
Speaker
But for some reason, like she's agreed to that as the truth.
00:20:03
Speaker
And so she's held onto my hips are big.
00:20:07
Speaker
And it's so interesting, these agreements that we make and because you've looked at neuroplasticity, right?
00:20:15
Speaker
And like we create these highways in our brains, like my nose is weird.
00:20:19
Speaker
And, and so anything that deters from that is hard.
00:20:24
Speaker
And so we got to create a new highway in our brain that my nose is fine to override that, but it takes a lot of work because look, I just said 20 to 30 years, I've been harboring this falsehood in my head.
00:20:38
Speaker
And so I have to make a conscious effort to,
00:20:43
Speaker
you know, every day when I look at myself in the mirror, when I jump in the shower, I get in the mirror and I'm like, and I'm nude and I'm like, okay, I like this.
00:20:50
Speaker
I like this.
00:20:51
Speaker
I like this.
00:20:51
Speaker
And I say these positive things to myself to try to rewire because it's, I feel like it's such a avalanche of negativity that comes toward us.
00:21:02
Speaker
And I've got to flip that script.
00:21:05
Speaker
Yes.
00:21:05
Speaker
Oh, I absolutely love that.
00:21:07
Speaker
And for the moms who are listening, who do have that, because we all have that thing about ourselves, maybe more than one thing, right?
00:21:14
Speaker
Right.
00:21:15
Speaker
Why is it always a boy?
00:21:17
Speaker
Like, I have the same thing.
00:21:19
Speaker
Like, some boy, I think it was seventh grade English class.
00:21:22
Speaker
I know his name.
00:21:24
Speaker
And he said something about, who knows, too.
00:21:27
Speaker
But then I had a boyfriend.
00:21:28
Speaker
Like, why is it that boys, like, pick something and say something?
00:21:33
Speaker
And why is that a...
00:21:34
Speaker
First of all, so boy moms, see if you can see if you can talk to your sons about this.
00:21:40
Speaker
But even if that weren't the case, I'm sure it would still come somehow come up.
00:21:46
Speaker
I encourage, you know, as far as the process of rewiring the brain, the neuroplasticity is something I use in coaching is called stopping.
00:21:56
Speaker
So the minute you, I mean, you can actually do it intentionally so that you can train your brain, but you can even just do it as you go casually.
00:22:03
Speaker
So the minute you start to feel that thought coming, because we all know like, oh, oh gosh, like, right.
00:22:08
Speaker
The key is to stop it before the thought comes up because we don't want to continue to take those girl questions even stronger.
00:22:15
Speaker
Right.
00:22:16
Speaker
Yeah, it's like a pattern interrupt, which could be anything you jump up, you turn around, you say something, you just do something that like stops the thought, you know, how like when you're walking, and then you're like, why am I in the kitchen?
00:22:27
Speaker
Right, great.
00:22:29
Speaker
That's because it's a pattern interrupt, because we started walking, and then all of a sudden, our brain kind of went blank.
00:22:34
Speaker
And yes, so there's all of a sudden this open space.
00:22:37
Speaker
And so but then what we want to do is fill the open space with positive thought.
00:22:42
Speaker
And so we can train our brain to
00:22:44
Speaker
what you said, but there's actually that, like, that's a technique that, that we use to like correct that thought.
00:22:49
Speaker
So then we want to make that stronger.
00:22:51
Speaker
It's just like building that muscle.
00:22:53
Speaker
You don't just go in one time and lift a weight and say you're strong.
00:22:56
Speaker
Right.
00:22:57
Speaker
Right.
00:22:58
Speaker
Exactly.
00:22:59
Speaker
It's a practice in self-love.
00:23:04
Speaker
Right.
00:23:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:05
Speaker
And I do that too.
00:23:06
Speaker
And the other thing, you know, for myself, I do talk to myself because I've had four kids and I'm 47 years old.
00:23:14
Speaker
So when I like, I've decided like, well, I'm not going to compare myself.
00:23:20
Speaker
to anybody, but like the standard shouldn't be a 22 year old woman who's never had children.
00:23:26
Speaker
Right.
00:23:27
Speaker
Like, well, then I realized I've had four babies come out of this body.
00:23:31
Speaker
Right.
00:23:32
Speaker
Right.
00:23:33
Speaker
I should just like embrace and love and realize, wow, I'm strong.
00:23:36
Speaker
My body's awesome.
00:23:37
Speaker
I did this amazing thing.
00:23:39
Speaker
Right.
00:23:40
Speaker
You know, and then to just embrace that, like, wow, look how awesome I am or look how powerful I am.
00:23:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:47
Speaker
And how do you, what do you say to women that say, oh, I don't want to get a big head.
00:23:53
Speaker
If I think like that, I'll get a big head.
00:23:57
Speaker
Do you know what I'm trying to say?
00:23:58
Speaker
Yeah, but I never heard.
00:23:59
Speaker
Instead of putting yourself down all the time, you're putting, you're building yourself up.
00:24:04
Speaker
And I found some women have been worried about.
00:24:08
Speaker
making.
00:24:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:10
Speaker
So what would you say to that?
00:24:12
Speaker
Well, no one has ever said that to me.
00:24:13
Speaker
So I was like kind of surprised that a woman would even get to that level.
00:24:16
Speaker
It almost seems like we're impossible to fill up that much.
00:24:20
Speaker
But I think that's just a mindset.
00:24:23
Speaker
It's like you can feel fantastic about yourself and then share your gifts with the world.
00:24:28
Speaker
It's different.
00:24:30
Speaker
Like the intention is different if you're doing it for the wrong reasons.
00:24:33
Speaker
Like if you're just trying to feel yourself in order to put other people down,
00:24:38
Speaker
Right.
00:24:38
Speaker
No.
00:24:40
Speaker
That's where the intention is wrong.
00:24:42
Speaker
But if the intention is to feel good about yourself, the world, there is nothing wrong with
Embracing Post-Motherhood Confidence
00:24:48
Speaker
that.
00:24:48
Speaker
I would just say, say that there's kind of a difference in the mindset about that.
00:24:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:54
Speaker
I think some people are surrounded by people that keep trying to keep them in check and not get too big for their britches.
00:25:01
Speaker
And so they need to surround themselves with different people.
00:25:05
Speaker
They do.
00:25:05
Speaker
That's maybe that's what they need to do.
00:25:07
Speaker
Cause I would say, girl, you, you do it.
00:25:11
Speaker
Like you grow, you get as big as you want.
00:25:14
Speaker
Like we don't need to make ourselves small to make other people.
00:25:17
Speaker
Exactly.
00:25:18
Speaker
Exactly.
00:25:19
Speaker
Thank you for saying that.
00:25:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:22
Speaker
I would, I would say you just shoot for the stars.
00:25:24
Speaker
You go to the moon.
00:25:24
Speaker
Right.
00:25:26
Speaker
Right.
00:25:27
Speaker
I'm going to pause my conversation with Kim Brundage.
00:25:29
Speaker
If you'd like to hear more, listen to the next episode.
00:25:33
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
00:25:40
Speaker
Don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends.