Transcript
Speaker: Hey moms, it's Laura Olinger.
Speaker: Welcome to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast.
Speaker: Because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
Speaker: Hello, this is Laura Olinger from the Positively Healthy Mom.
Speaker: So today we have Kim Brundridge.
Speaker: Oh, I messed it up.
Speaker: I swore I wasn't going to do that.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: Kim Brundridge is my guest.
Speaker: Welcome, Kim.
Speaker: Welcome to our audience.
Speaker: Welcome to our audience.
Speaker: Thank you so much for inviting me.
Speaker: I'm so excited to be here today.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I brought you on because you are an amazing photographer, which is in its own right, you know, a big conversation.
Speaker: But I love what you have done with your career because you kind of combined your personal life and your professional life to truly create your passion of what you love to do.
Speaker: So can you tell us kind of the backstory and kind of what you're doing now?
Speaker: So the backstory on the photography journey part portion of it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So I always wanted to be a photographer since I was in seventh grade and I, you know, a lot was going on within my family and I just squelched it.
Speaker: And then as I got older, I squelched it and I just, but you could see in my life, like things I was buying photography related and I was really, it was always in me.
Speaker: And then when my son was born in 2001, then I finally had a muse that I could play with anytime I wanted.
Speaker: So that really skyrocketed my passion for photography.
Speaker: And then as I was growing, I was in the corporate world doing marketing and branding.
Speaker: And then I decided I wanted to combine my love of photography with marketing and branding and helping entrepreneurs like yourself
Speaker: shine and make that great first impression and have people magnetize towards your brand, seeing your visual visuals, because they're so important, you know, we're in such a virtual world and we're not able to meet everyone.
Speaker: And we're also able to reach out and expand internationally now.
Speaker: So true.
Speaker: So you love to just capture, especially female entrepreneurs presenting themselves in their best light to kind of market themselves and their businesses and their services to the world.
Speaker: And that's super exciting.
Speaker: You must meet all sorts of neat ladies and hear all about their businesses.
Speaker: What's the most part of that?
Speaker: The most part of that is just being around strong women like that.
Speaker: I love that, you know, seeing women go for their dreams and their goals and making such a positive difference in our community like you are.
Speaker: I mean, that's just so inspirational.
Speaker: And we need people like yourself to share that positivity.
Speaker: I mean, I love your tagline.
Speaker: I was like, there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
Speaker: And it's so true.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: There isn't like, we're all just figuring this out and together we have to support each other as women, as, as, and as moms, right.
Speaker: To like raise each other up and be encouraging and supportive.
Speaker: And the topic that I'm so excited to bring up today is one of inner and outer beauty and the confidence that comes kind of from the inside, but also outside.
Speaker: And so can you share a little bit more about what you've been doing with that?
Speaker: Yeah, and that's part of that personal journey I think you were getting to.
Speaker: And now I'm going to bring it up after they have that background.
Speaker: But I didn't see my beauty until I photographed myself.
Speaker: And one day I locked the door to the studio and I didn't tell my husband or son what I was doing.
Speaker: And I didn't grow up understanding about angles and lighting.
Speaker: Obviously, most of us don't.
Speaker: And I didn't like any pictures of myself.
Speaker: So I was like, all right, I'm going to practice.
Speaker: posing and lighting, and I'm going to delete all the images.
Speaker: Like I was just not going to tell anyone, delete all the images and, you know, hopefully learn something from my experience.
Speaker: And what I learned was so profound.
Speaker: I finally saw my beauty and I saw some images off the back of the camera.
Speaker: And then I was like, oh my goodness.
Speaker: And I went and pulled them up on the computer to see them on the big screen.
Speaker: And I, and then I called in my husband and my son.
Speaker: I'm like, look at this.
Speaker: I'm like, oh my gosh, you look great.
Speaker: And
Speaker: they, you know, they were so positive, enthusiastic.
Speaker: And of course my husband told me I was beautiful, but I didn't really, really believe them because I didn't see it for myself.
Speaker: And that's another further light that's went off.
Speaker: Aha moment was like, I know there's so many women that are feel, you know, not the beauty standard that we're all presented with.
Speaker: And so what can I do?
Speaker: to show them their beauty and boost their confidence so that they can go out and get their dreams and goals.
Speaker: Because when you have great images of yourself, then you put yourself out there more and take more steps to get to your goals and dreams.
Speaker: It's such a ripple effect.
Speaker: Yeah, that's actually so true.
Speaker: So in a way,
Speaker: you know, part of your mission on helping women is really helping them serve their audiences to the best of their ability because they wouldn't be able to reach those people if they weren't willing to put themselves out there.
Speaker: And in order to put themselves out there, they're needing to feel confident and feel beautiful because it is a big deal to take a risk.
Speaker: Like I remember when I first started doing all my social media marketing,
Speaker: It was scary.
Speaker: I was like, okay, I'm pressing, you know, post.
Speaker: And I was like, oh gosh, you know, I hope people don't judge me.
Speaker: It has taken me a while to really build that and that confidence up.
Speaker: And even if there's, you know, I do have typos or errors every once in a while or something's
Speaker: perfect.
Speaker: I just have to be, right.
Speaker: I have to really willing to roll with it and go with it because overall the message is there that of what I'm doing.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It doesn't have to be this standard of everything is perfect all the time for everything because then it's not.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Nobody wants to talk to some robot, right?
Speaker: No, exactly.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Even that's why I was laughing because I don't know if you saw my cat.
Speaker: She likes to bring my shoes.
Speaker: And it's like, you know, some people might be like, oh, get that cat out of here.
Speaker: But I'm like, oh, that's my cat.
Speaker: She's here.
Speaker: She lives here.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think you brought up the topic too, but just how vulnerable it is.
Speaker: And so it's vulnerable to have your picture taken.
Speaker: It's vulnerable to put yourself out there.
Speaker: And it does take an act of courage.
Speaker: And so I really work hard to see what I can do to empower people.
Speaker: And so that's why I include services to help them feel and look their best when they show up.
Speaker: So it's not just about the photography.
Speaker: And so that makes a really good difference.
Speaker: But I'm so glad that you put yourself out there.
Speaker: Yeah, it took a lot of courage.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: I mean, I knew I had to do it because I can't reach my audience unless I did it.
Speaker: So that was just the hurdle.
Speaker: And anybody who's listening today, you know, it's funny, I hadn't thought of that's where this conversation would go, but maybe they're on the verge of starting a business or just wanting a mission that's, you know, a charitable mission, right?
Speaker: A lot of friends who help with all sorts of nonprofits and even that is a risk.
Speaker: And so, you know, press that post button and feel good and feel okay about it.
Speaker: I love that you have been part of that process for so many women.
Speaker: And so what are, you know, when they do come to see you for the photography part, how do you help kind of, you know, be vulnerable and open up at like kind of radiate confidence?
Speaker: Like, is there anything that you do in this?
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: So I,
Speaker: my first basis, but based on my marketing background is like, let's set your intention.
Speaker: What are your three to five words that you want to convey with your images?
Speaker: And then I also have,
Speaker: that day they get camera ready makeup and hairstyling and then wardrobe styling support ahead of time too.
Speaker: And we have a full pre-branding consult where we really dive deep and we talk about expectations and how it's going to flow and what they need to bring.
Speaker: And there's a lot of preparation to it.
Speaker: It's not just show up and then try to smile.
Speaker: And you know, a lot of people,
Speaker: We'll do five outfits, but the first outfit they're a little nervous about.
Speaker: And then by the second outfit, they're like, okay, you know, this is just my new friend, Kim, and that we're just having a conversation and she happens to have a camera.
Speaker: And that's when, you know, you really want to let that guard down and really come through your authentic self.
Speaker: So people can see that and feel that.
Speaker: And the best compliments I get about my work is we don't know the people in your images, but we feel like we do because of their personality shines through.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: That is quite a compliment.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, that's volumes to what you are doing to bring them alive off the camera and make them real.
Speaker: That's really cool.
Speaker: So my next question is, what would you, okay, so how, when you went in and did that photo, locked yourself and did your photo session and, you know, played around until you found how you felt beautiful.
Speaker: How old do you remember about like, how old were you when that happened?
Speaker: I was 44.
Speaker: It wasn't that long ago.
Speaker: So I was, yeah, I mean, I've been running around.
Speaker: I mean, I had a family that was really hard on me and, you know, would point out those flaws consistently.
Speaker: And so I didn't feel good about myself and didn't think I was beautiful or attractive and didn't know my own power.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: you know, your twenties are supposed to be the, you know, your top of your game as far as your beauty standards go.
Speaker: And I didn't know the power I had.
Speaker: And, and so I, you know, I bought into that.
Speaker: My mom, when I turned 39, I was divorced and a single.
Speaker: And she was like, you are never going to find a man.
Speaker: So you need breast augmentation and me, I'm going to pay for it.
Speaker: And so it was just heartbreaking to like,
Speaker: have your family not see your beauty either and, and not accept you for how you were.
Speaker: And I didn't get that breast augmentation.
Speaker: I'm glad I didn't.
Speaker: That wasn't the right decision for me, but that was, you know, I found that to be really hurtful.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: That's what it would take to, for you to have value.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like that, that's what you needed.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So maybe, you know, I always try to give people even some very strange things, the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: As far as like the intention was there.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like the intention was there.
Speaker: I love my daughter.
Speaker: I want her to be happy.
Speaker: I want to find what she's looking for.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So I jump all over that and say, Oh my gosh, what a woman.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I don't want to go there, but like, right.
Speaker: The intention of love was probably there.
Speaker: It's just that the way that was expressed was that you need to do yourself so that you will be worthy of a man who loves you.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And the ironic part about all of that too, is that I have a husband who,
Speaker: I found a husband, you know, a man soon after that, that absolutely loves and adores me for how I am and celebrates me for how I am, you know, like there's no like, oh, you could be better if you did this.
Speaker: None of that, you know, it just like, and we're crazy about each other and we just really enjoy each other.
Speaker: So that is so affirming to me that, you know, you can be authentic to yourself and stay
Speaker: And of course, find someone that will value that also.
Speaker: Yes, I think that's great because you probably would not have attracted him if you had, you know, taking your mom up on that offer.
Speaker: You would have been giving out some type of a different energetic vibe.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And so then you were showing up as like, I'm going to stay true to myself.
Speaker: I'm going to be authentic to what I want for my body.
Speaker: And that probably sent a different signal that he was able to pick up on and be like, wow, this girl is really natural and really beautiful and really, you know, confident and all those things.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that's what really aligned you.
Speaker: So because, you know, probably lots of moms on tons of moms have lots of things done to their body.
Speaker: So it's not that that's the it's just that what is right for you.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: To feel beautiful.
Speaker: And for you, that wasn't the case.
Speaker: So, you know, I'm happy that you stuck through a boundary with your mom.
Speaker: And that's important part, that boundary.
Speaker: But the part that I'm kind of like really fascinated by, and I have my own version of the story as well.
Speaker: Like, you know, I think we all echo a lot with this, but that you were right.
Speaker: When you figured you were beautiful.
Speaker: And so think of all the years that that's right.
Speaker: And so that's.
Speaker: part of when I coach teenagers, sometimes when, especially when they're stuck and it's any type of, not just, you know, physical stuff, but just any type of confidence, it could be body image.
Speaker: It could be, um, just self-certainty, you know, being able to get up and give up presentation in front of class, anything like that.
Speaker: And I say,
Speaker: There are two ways that this could go.
Speaker: I said, you could continue to doubt yourself for the rest of your life.
Speaker: And then when you're 80, you decide you're good enough.
Speaker: But by then you don't have the opportunity to do a lot of these things.
Speaker: Or you could just make that choice now and really enjoy that decision that you've made to just love yourself, have self-certainty, self-confidence, self-worth, whatever it is that they're specifically doing.
Speaker: And then use all those years that they've got ahead of me.
Speaker: I try to say, like, hey, take it from a wise lady.
Speaker: Like, I was there.
Speaker: You know, I was a middle schooler and a high schooler who didn't have confidence.
Speaker: I was in my 20s.
Speaker: I didn't have confidence.
Speaker: That's part of my story.
Speaker: And, you know, it has taken me also into my 40s.
Speaker: It's kind of interesting that we both, like, have that epiphany or aha moment that, like, this is the time that we're ready to shine, but it didn't need to take.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: No, right.
Speaker: And so that's the other thing I do is I give young girls body image and confidence talks.
Speaker: And I'm very passionate about that because what I found too, is that, you know, when a little girl is two, three, four, she's cute, right?
Speaker: And she gets so many compliments and so much attention, but at some point that fades off.
Speaker: And then when we hit puberty, then the criticism really comes out.
Speaker: Like, you know, how are you developing?
Speaker: And I'll look at those hips and thighs and stuff like that.
Speaker: And you get really self-conscious and that age is self-conscious anyways.
Speaker: And so I talk about, you know, what influences us, what has gotten us here and how we feel.
Speaker: And just because we're teenagers, it doesn't stop.
Speaker: My girlfriend, she has twins and one of her twins reached out.
Speaker: She's 21 years old.
Speaker: And she wants to use anti-aging cream already because she's inundated with all these messages that, oh, I might have a wrinkle here and we need to use this cream to counteract that.
Speaker: And, you know, even, you know, our age, we're getting a lot of anti-aging messages and, you know, our hair is supposed to shine and our face is supposed to glow and we're supposed to be thin, but not too thin.
Speaker: And,
Speaker: You know, it's just like all these messages.
Speaker: And so, you know, unless you know how to counteract those, then you don't, then you just get inundated with how you're just never good enough.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Did you happen to see, I know you have a son, but did you happen to see the Barbie movie?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes, I did see the Barbie movie.
Speaker: That was good because that was kind of like the climax of the movie was when they, you know, the character gives that speech about, look, if Barbie doesn't feel good enough, then how are the rest of us regular women supposed to feel good?
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: You're all failing.
Speaker: And I loved this felt so empowering for women everywhere.
Speaker: Like we're supposed to be, but not this and this and this, but not that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: We have to be confident, but not obnoxious or righty.
Speaker: It's like, where can we win?
Speaker: We can't win.
Speaker: And so this has been part of your work is like making the message that we can win.
Speaker: So when you talk to your teenage audiences, because you give these presentations, which I do.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Think is phenomenal.
Speaker: What is kind of some of the messaging that you bring?
Speaker: So you talk about the sources like society or culture, magazines or social media specifically.
Speaker: Yeah, right.
Speaker: Explain that.
Speaker: And then with them.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it's like all what we surround ourselves with, right?
Speaker: Like if I'm always looking on social media and I see stick thin models that have been Photoshopped, then I'm going to never match up to that because it's not even realistic.
Speaker: And we don't even realize that we're comparing ourselves to people that aren't realistic.
Speaker: They don't even look like that.
Speaker: Cindy Crawford even said, I don't even look like that.
Speaker: So it's, you know, that's huge.
Speaker: And yeah,
Speaker: You know, we just, our brains have that automatic comparison and then our brains are also wired for a negative bias.
Speaker: So we compare and then we're saying, oh, we don't match up to that.
Speaker: And so I'm pissed and we make these agreements.
Speaker: And then the other thing that was, the other thing in my presentation, I do an exercise of what we like about our bodies.
Speaker: you know, it's very, it'd be very common for you and I to sit down for dinner and then start talking about what we don't like about our bodies.
Speaker: And why is that normal?
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Like, why is that normal?
Speaker: Like, why can't I say, Laura, I love this about myself.
Speaker: And you like, Oh, yeah, I love that about you, too.
Speaker: And I love this about me.
Speaker: And like, well, you know, why couldn't we have that positive building up conversation?
Speaker: So we do an exercise where we, um,
Speaker: We pair off and then you have to say two things you like about your body.
Speaker: And then the, and you have to say two things you like about the other person's body and then you switch.
Speaker: But you have to say thank you when they say two things they like about your body.
Speaker: And so it was an interesting exercise and I participated in it too.
Speaker: And one of several young girls told me that they liked my nose.
Speaker: And it was interesting because when I was 18, I had a boyfriend and he said, you're cute, but
Speaker: your nose is funky or weird or something like that.
Speaker: And so for some reason I assigned him like the truth and everyone else thought my nose was funky, but, and he was right.
Speaker: And everyone else thought this.
Speaker: And so I made this agreement.
Speaker: And so when these young girls, but I didn't even think about it, right.
Speaker: I didn't even think about it for 20, 30 years.
Speaker: These young girls are telling me they like my nose.
Speaker: And I wanted to say yes, but it's,
Speaker: funky or it's got a ski jump or whatever.
Speaker: And, and I'm like, wait, I'm supposed to say thank you and like really take it in.
Speaker: And so it really helped me rewire my brain.
Speaker: And I didn't really even realize I was holding on to this.
Speaker: And of course, when I photograph people, their vulnerabilities come out and they share these really
Speaker: hurtful things that they've held onto.
Speaker: Like one of my clients, a boy said to her in passing, oh, your hips are big.
Speaker: Well, of course her hips are bigger than that guys, but like her hips are fine.
Speaker: Her hips are normal.
Speaker: But for some reason, like she's agreed to that as the truth.
Speaker: And so she's held onto my hips are big.
Speaker: And it's so interesting, these agreements that we make and because you've looked at neuroplasticity, right?
Speaker: And like we create these highways in our brains, like my nose is weird.
Speaker: And, and so anything that deters from that is hard.
Speaker: And so we got to create a new highway in our brain that my nose is fine to override that, but it takes a lot of work because look, I just said 20 to 30 years, I've been harboring this falsehood in my head.
Speaker: And so I have to make a conscious effort to,
Speaker: you know, every day when I look at myself in the mirror, when I jump in the shower, I get in the mirror and I'm like, and I'm nude and I'm like, okay, I like this.
Speaker: I like this.
Speaker: I like this.
Speaker: And I say these positive things to myself to try to rewire because it's, I feel like it's such a avalanche of negativity that comes toward us.
Speaker: And I've got to flip that script.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Oh, I absolutely love that.
Speaker: And for the moms who are listening, who do have that, because we all have that thing about ourselves, maybe more than one thing, right?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Why is it always a boy?
Speaker: Like, I have the same thing.
Speaker: Like, some boy, I think it was seventh grade English class.
Speaker: I know his name.
Speaker: And he said something about, who knows, too.
Speaker: But then I had a boyfriend.
Speaker: Like, why is it that boys, like, pick something and say something?
Speaker: And why is that a...
Speaker: First of all, so boy moms, see if you can see if you can talk to your sons about this.
Speaker: But even if that weren't the case, I'm sure it would still come somehow come up.
Speaker: I encourage, you know, as far as the process of rewiring the brain, the neuroplasticity is something I use in coaching is called stopping.
Speaker: So the minute you, I mean, you can actually do it intentionally so that you can train your brain, but you can even just do it as you go casually.
Speaker: So the minute you start to feel that thought coming, because we all know like, oh, oh gosh, like, right.
Speaker: The key is to stop it before the thought comes up because we don't want to continue to take those girl questions even stronger.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like a pattern interrupt, which could be anything you jump up, you turn around, you say something, you just do something that like stops the thought, you know, how like when you're walking, and then you're like, why am I in the kitchen?
Speaker: Right, great.
Speaker: That's because it's a pattern interrupt, because we started walking, and then all of a sudden, our brain kind of went blank.
Speaker: And yes, so there's all of a sudden this open space.
Speaker: And so but then what we want to do is fill the open space with positive thought.
Speaker: And so we can train our brain to
Speaker: what you said, but there's actually that, like, that's a technique that, that we use to like correct that thought.
Speaker: So then we want to make that stronger.
Speaker: It's just like building that muscle.
Speaker: You don't just go in one time and lift a weight and say you're strong.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: It's a practice in self-love.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I do that too.
Speaker: And the other thing, you know, for myself, I do talk to myself because I've had four kids and I'm 47 years old.
Speaker: So when I like, I've decided like, well, I'm not going to compare myself.
Speaker: to anybody, but like the standard shouldn't be a 22 year old woman who's never had children.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like, well, then I realized I've had four babies come out of this body.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I should just like embrace and love and realize, wow, I'm strong.
Speaker: My body's awesome.
Speaker: I did this amazing thing.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You know, and then to just embrace that, like, wow, look how awesome I am or look how powerful I am.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And how do you, what do you say to women that say, oh, I don't want to get a big head.
Speaker: If I think like that, I'll get a big head.
Speaker: Do you know what I'm trying to say?
Speaker: Yeah, but I never heard.
Speaker: Instead of putting yourself down all the time, you're putting, you're building yourself up.
Speaker: And I found some women have been worried about.
Speaker: making.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So what would you say to that?
Speaker: Well, no one has ever said that to me.
Speaker: So I was like kind of surprised that a woman would even get to that level.
Speaker: It almost seems like we're impossible to fill up that much.
Speaker: But I think that's just a mindset.
Speaker: It's like you can feel fantastic about yourself and then share your gifts with the world.
Speaker: It's different.
Speaker: Like the intention is different if you're doing it for the wrong reasons.
Speaker: Like if you're just trying to feel yourself in order to put other people down,
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: That's where the intention is wrong.
Speaker: But if the intention is to feel good about yourself, the world, there is nothing wrong with that.
Speaker: I would just say, say that there's kind of a difference in the mindset about that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think some people are surrounded by people that keep trying to keep them in check and not get too big for their britches.
Speaker: And so they need to surround themselves with different people.
Speaker: They do.
Speaker: That's maybe that's what they need to do.
Speaker: Cause I would say, girl, you, you do it.
Speaker: Like you grow, you get as big as you want.
Speaker: Like we don't need to make ourselves small to make other people.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Thank you for saying that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I would, I would say you just shoot for the stars.
Speaker: You go to the moon.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I'm going to pause my conversation with Kim Brundage.
Speaker: If you'd like to hear more, listen to the next episode.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast because there's no manual for the hardest job in the world.
Speaker: Don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends.
