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Anxiety, Fear, Love & Growth Ft. My Mum
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My 3 Day Manifestation Course, Reset & Receive is now open, here is the link for more information and to sign up. Honour YOU by giving yourself 3 days to transform your mindset, reset your nervous system and manifest your dreams in 2026. P.s. you only need less than an hour each day for 3 days! And I promise you, the shifts will be huge and instant! I’m so excited!
In this episode, I’m joined by my beautiful mum for an open, and thought provoking chat. Together, we pulled questions from The Imperfects’ Vulnerability House Cards, and wow, they have goooood questions.
We answer:
💭 What would you tell someone you once knew who has now passed away?
💭 What triggers anxiety in you?
💭 What fear would you like to be free of?
💭 How would you like to be a better person?
💭 In what ways do you fear you could negatively impact your children?
This conversation spans so many areas of life, from anxiety and fear, to boundaries, confrontation, protecting your energy, talking to loved ones who’ve passed, and how we can become better, kinder, more grounded humans.
It’s a heart-to-heart filled with vulnerability, laughter, and plenty of honesty. I’m so grateful to have shared this one with my mum, and I hope it encourages you to reflect, open up, and maybe even have one of these deep chats with someone you love.
🤍 A huge thank you to LSKD for sponsoring this episode. Shop their goodies here!
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The Pass Around the Smile podcast is recorded on Bundjalung Country, in South East Queensland, Australia. We acknowledge the Yugambeh people of the Bundjalung Nation, the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
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Transcript
Introduction: Podcast & Sponsor
00:00:00
Speaker
Pass Around the Smile is like your go-to friend, the one that lifts you up and backs you to the end. She's there to guide and inspire, challenge and teach, and remind you that your best self isn't out of reach. Self-development, manifestation, self-love and more, it's time to trust the process more than ever before.
00:00:19
Speaker
Welcome to Pass Around the Smile, the podcast. I'm your host, Cleo Massey, and I am so glad you're here. Let the magic begin. Hello, my smileys. Welcome to yet another Pass Around the Smile podcast episode. Thank you for tuning in. Before we get into today's episode, I'm just going to get right in and thank our sponsor.
Product Endorsement: LSKD Activewear
00:00:39
Speaker
And you guys probably already know who it is because it's LSKD. Again, you know, I love them. You know, every time I'm wearing active wear, I'm wearing them pretty much from head to toe. I have their tights.
00:00:48
Speaker
I have their flares. I have their bike shorts. I have their sports bras. I have their t-shirts. I have their jumpers. Most recently though, I've been trying their Accelerate shorts and I'm absolutely loving them. When I wear them a bit more, I'll let you guys know even more about them. um But also not only do I wear all of that, but these might be TMI, but I feel like we're a community here. You know, we do TMI on this podcast. Their undies are so good for wearing under tights and bike shorts. Like they're seamless. You can't see them. So I also have their undies. Anyway, so LSKD this holiday season are really celebrating the power of movement. They're trying to encourage their community to gift their training partner, their best friend, their family member to bring and share that momentum with others. So if you are looking for a fun gift where you have a lot to choose from, check out LSKD in store or online. I have popped the link in my show
Episode Teaser: Surprise Guest
00:01:46
Speaker
notes. Thank you so much, LSKD for sponsoring this episode. So guys, let's get into it. Well, actually, before we get into it, before I bring today's guest into the podcast, which is very exciting, I'm not even going to say who it is yet. I'm going to leave it as a
Course Announcement: Reset and Receive
00:02:00
Speaker
surprise. um Oh my gosh, my tripod's doing the thing. If you're watching the video on Spotify or Apple podcast, you're just going to have to accept that the
00:02:07
Speaker
the video is going a little bit diagonal at the moment. I'm going order a new tripod today. That's what I'm going to do. This is what you get. This is what you get when you don't buy a proper tripod.
00:02:19
Speaker
At the start, was like, I'll just buy a cheap one. Just buy a good one, c Cleo. Anyway, guys, my new year course, my three day manifestation course, your 2026 new year ritual, which I have called reset and receive is out. Like today, I am putting the link for you to purchase it in the show notes. The reason I am putting it out on December 15 is because I know some of you guys want to get stuck into this course before the end of the year. And that's fine. I know some of you will want to do it between Christmas and new year. That's when I'll personally be doing it. And some of you will want to do it in January, putting it out. Now I, I have it there for you guys for when you want to do it. Now you might do it over the three days that I have kind of recommended.
00:03:05
Speaker
However, you can do it all in one day. If you're feeling so inspired, you can do it over three weeks. You can do it over the whole month. You can do it when you feel in your holidays, when you feel inspired and excited. This course, I want to be fun. I know it will be transformational and I am really excited what by what is inside the course. It has taken me really quite a while To create, basically there is a walk book, a walk book. There is a work book full of really powerful journaling prompts, really powerful exercises. There is a walking meditation. Now this walking meditation is only available within the course. And this walking meditation is all about releasing and letting go the parts of you, the situations, the people, the energy, the thoughts, the limiting beliefs, the fears that held you back in 2025. It's about releasing them.
00:03:55
Speaker
acknowledging them, letting them go, walking away from them. And it's about bringing in what it is that you want, opening yourself up to the myriad of possibilities that are waiting for you in 2026. It is so empowering, this walking meditation. It's exciting. It's refreshing. And I'm so excited for you to do it at this potent, really incredible time of the year. Oh my God, I have to fix this tripod. I'm back. Okay. What is most exciting about this three-day manifestation course is the new year card spread ritual that I have created for you guys. I have written it, it took me ages, I have recorded it, that also took me ages. I'm now editing editing it, so I don't know how long it's actually going to be, but my guess is going to be around a 30 minute ritual. Now, what this ritual will do, and you do this on day three, this is after you've done. like Basically, I've designed this course so you can do the most powerful in tune reading that you will ever have done. And I'm feeling certain about that because what we will do with the journaling prompts, the balance exercises,
00:04:58
Speaker
the walking meditation is get so damn clear on what it is that you want and deserve, get so understanding of what it is that you no longer want to then be able to like kind of free yourself to move forward, open yourself up to the universe. And then when you do this ritual, what is included is like meditations that kind of quiet the outside noise, take you through the steps and there's some journaling prompts within you there that will then take you through that. Then I leave you alone and there's just beautiful music as you kind of do your new year card pull. I take you through how to do it, what to ask your angels, the universe, the energy, whoever you believe in. And then it kind of flows into like a gratitude meditation. It is amazing. I'm going to say that. I'm going to toot my own horn. I reckon it's amazing. Now, a lot of you will already know how to do your new year card pull, and that is absolutely fine. This will still be
00:05:52
Speaker
So incredibly powerful for you because it's more about the meditation to get you in the state of mind of connecting to your higher self and to your higher powers to be able to bring the right guidance and the right answers in for your January, February, March, all the way to to December card pull for the new year. And if you do prefer just to like do the meditation at the start to get into it, do the journaling prompts, and then you can even turn it off and do your new year card spread on your own and then come back to the closing kind of meditation. Cause you also want to solidify it all. You know, you don't want to just do your new year card reading and then forget about it. There is a process, there is a ritual. And this is something that I have kind of come up with, learnt, perfected over years of working with my own card. So I'm so excited to share it with you. Now, this course is only going to be $60. It's $60 for such powerful meditations, journaling prompts, the workbook, the ritual, and i am really proud of it. You can do it wherever you are in the world. It is an automatic download, you will get access to the course portal for life. So you can do this course over and over
Guest Introduction: Cleo's Mother
00:07:01
Speaker
again. You can do this walking meditation every day for the rest of the year if you want to. um yeah it's all there for life. ah You will need at least one of my card decks to do
00:07:10
Speaker
the course, but you have plenty of time to order one if you don't have one yet. I personally like to do the new year card reading with all three decks because it gives me a deeper, more in-depth reading, but it's totally up to you. um So yeah, any more questions, jump on my Instagram, DM me, email me. The link to purchase the course is in the show notes.
00:07:32
Speaker
Put yourself first, give yourself the best shot to make 2026 the year for you. It's your choice. like You have the choice to open yourself up to miracles. You have the choice to change. You have such a powerful mindset that has the power, I just said power many times, to change your circumstances. Your perception has the power to bend and shape your reality. The exciting thing about energy work, spirituality, self-development, self-reflection is that
00:08:03
Speaker
Things can change in a second. Things can change so quickly because energy is instant. What you do when you change your perception of something, your energy then bends and shapes your reality. So therefore the energy that surrounds you is changing and bending and flowing and ebbing and, you know, so it is instantly reflective of what is going on in your mindset. Who has the power to change your mindset? You. And I'm going to help you do that in this three-day course. It's a three-day manifestation course, which will take like, i don't know, maybe half an hour to an hour each day. It's nothing. So, you know, it's nothing for that version of you that you are wanting to become. Anyway, I'm going to stop talking about it now. I'm very passionate and very excited about the course, obviously, but it's in the show notes. We can all do it together. You can post in the community how you're going. We can chat about it. We can help each other. We can hold each other accountable. i will be doing it and I'm so excited.
00:09:03
Speaker
So it is time to bring in today's guest, which is my mom. And i will tell you what I'm doing when we bring her in.
Q&A: Anxiety and Relationships
00:09:10
Speaker
Okay, if you're watching the video, you can see the beautiful guest is my mum. I have done a podcast episode with my mum before and Crumpet is also a guest, my little labradoodle, beautiful puppy angel, because she does not want to leave our side. So if you hear a little pitter pattering, It's Crumpet. So mom has been on the podcast before.
00:09:31
Speaker
And the reason why I wanted to bring her on the podcast today was because I went to the Imperfects live the other night. It was incredible. You guys will know Ryan Shelton. He's in the Imperfects. I had him on the podcast. If you haven't listened to that episode, definitely go back and have a listen. And I bought their, I guess they're called like conversation cards. I'm shuffling them at the moment. I don't even know if you meant to shuffle them, but I'm an Oracle card reading gal. Of course, I'm going to shuffle any cards that are in my hands. So what mom and I are going to do is we're going to do something that the Imperfects do on their podcast. And we're going to pull three of their questions, read them out and choose one question to answer. And I just...
00:10:09
Speaker
That was crumpet shaking. No shaking, baby girl. No. um ah Yeah, we're going pull three cards and then choose a question to answer. And I just thought it was something that, you know, you want to do with another person. And I thought there are so many of you out there who will relate to my mom's stories and experiences as well, which is so lovely. And if you want to know more about my mom, go back and listen to the episode with her. It was like toward the start of the podcast.
00:10:38
Speaker
um she talks a lot about that was a lot about like the industry hey and like growing can't even remember it was like experiencing rejection I think and a lot about stage mums because mum manifested like a huge dream of hers to have her comedy show picked up by a network and it fully happened um and then kind of all of the ups and downs that came with that so it was I think it was a chat around like mindset and resilience um Yeah.
00:11:04
Speaker
I can't even remember. It was so long ago. Yeah. It was so long ago. um All right. Do you want to talk first? Or do you me to talk first? I don't care.
00:11:16
Speaker
Let's see what the questions are first. I'm getting nervous. when All right. Well, let's pull three cards and then we could see who wants to. Yeah. Okay. So the first card. I need my glasses. Oh God, this is going to be a big one. what is it What triggers anxiety in you? Oh geez, everything. Okay.
00:11:36
Speaker
Okay. The next question is, what fear would you like to be free of? Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Okay. The next question is, what would you tell someone you once knew who has now passed away?
00:11:53
Speaker
We don't need to do that one. We don't need to do that one. Oh my gosh. I knew that would come up. Do you know why? Because it's mum's anniversary and another day.
00:12:04
Speaker
It is tomorrow, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I knew that. do you want to do that one then? No, i can't. Because she knows everything that I want to say her. Which is nice as well. And that's, I guess, a lesson in itself, which is, that's also so fulfilling for you to know that you had said everything you wanted to say.
00:12:21
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I know this is going off topic now, but what would be your advice to anyone who's listening, who maybe has someone who passed away and didn't get to say everything that they wanted to that person?
00:12:34
Speaker
You can say it now. Like, I feel like mum is with me constantly, all the time. Whenever I want to talk to her, I feel like she's there.
00:12:46
Speaker
um And especially now, I don't want to start this crying. Especially now because it's her anniversary and, like, I feel like your body even knows Before the date comes up oh that this was a really tough time because I was watching her dying and, you know, the whole weeks leading up to it were hideous.
00:13:09
Speaker
And even when I don't look at my calendar, my body's telling me that there's something wrong with this time. And it's is because we're all part of each other. Like you're a part of me. It's like when Indigo cried the other day when you were anxious, she was picking up on you. Like, yeah. So I knew that that there would be something come up in those cards about mum. crazy. Because it's, yeah, 31 years, Clee.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah, mum was 30 when Nanny Waters died and I was one. I actually don't know how you dealt with that. Like now having a one-year-old, I just, yeah.
00:13:48
Speaker
and Anyway, we don't need to go too into that. But that was what you said I think was really beautiful and really helpful and really meaningful and that's why that card came out because yeah I think some people will have needed to hear that message. yeah Talk to them. They're there all the time. They're a part of you and they will never stop being a part of you.
00:14:06
Speaker
yeah Yeah, that's really nice. What fear would you like to be free of or what triggers anxiety in you? I think just before we get into the questions, mum just touched on it then. So the other week, we will not get into it, but something happened that triggered a lot of anxiety for both mum and I, right?
00:14:26
Speaker
About half an hour after this like huge stress was happening, I get a call from Indigo's Kindy And they're like, hey, Cleo, like just a courtesy call. They've never called me, by the way. So when they called me, my heart dropped. They're like, everything's fine. But she just like, she's so distressed. She will not stop crying. Like no matter what we do, we cannot calm her down. She's never been like this. She's gone to that kindy now for like 10 months.
00:14:54
Speaker
So of course I went straight away and picked her up and she wouldn't even calm down with me. And it was really weird. And as soon as I got home, Luke was like, she one ah hundred percent picked up on your and your mom's anxiety and what was going on. Like she is in tune. She's intuitive. She felt the energy because they were like, nothing's wrong. She didn't hurt herself. She doesn't feel sick.
00:15:14
Speaker
She had a good sleep. She ate, she was drinking. So yeah, just a reminder of how connected we all are. It's mental. Like I knew that as soon as you picked her up, that that's what was wrong with her.
00:15:28
Speaker
It was just, there was nothing physically wrong with her. No. Yeah. Wild. Yeah. Crazy. Okay. so would you or i like to either answer what triggers anxiety in you or what fear would you like to be free of?
00:15:43
Speaker
um the fear I would like to be free of is anxiety. Okay, so the both both of the cards go like go hand in hand. Okay, well, that's good. right, so what brings on anxiety for you?
00:15:57
Speaker
It's always caused by things out of my control. Mm-hmm, yeah. so I like to be in control so that I don't have anxiety, and it's always...
00:16:12
Speaker
Yeah, it's always something out of my control, like, and other people. And I guess how I react to the other people. But we live with other people in the world. So that's always going to be an issue. So I don't even know how.
00:16:27
Speaker
And I really check myself to go, Anna, don't react like it's their problem or It's something you can't control.
00:16:38
Speaker
Just go with it, but it still happens. And I guess anxiety, it just isn't logical. And no matter how many times we tell ourselves, this is not logical. Everything is fine. It's out of my control. It doesn't matter. Like the anxiety just
Managing Anxiety: Perspectives & Strategies
00:16:52
Speaker
builds and builds and you, feel it in your chest and then your mind gets cloudy and yeah and that's the horrible thing that you you know it's not logical and you're saying to yourself and like my husband says to me or you say but this and this and this and and i go yeah and it's all totally logical and i have no reason why i'm feeling that way because i know logically i am safe i'm not gonna die no one around me is gonna die because they're the worst things yes
00:17:23
Speaker
But it's still, once it takes over your body, it's so hard to get rid of. It's like that question, I put it in my journaling prompts quite a bit. Like, is this, is what you're going through or what you're feeling or what you're thinking or what you're assuming based on truth and fact or fear and emotion?
00:17:41
Speaker
And so often it's based on fear and emotion. It's not truth and it's not a fact that... you know, this person hates you or this situation is doomed or, you know, something really bad is going to happen. It's usually fear and emotion. And that is not truth and fact, but it's very hard yeah when you're in it.
00:18:03
Speaker
Well, that's that fear thing, false evidence appearing real. And it does. It does appear real. Yeah. And when you're in it, you're like, no, it is real. Yeah. It's rough. Oh, it is.
00:18:16
Speaker
And the other thing that causes anxiety for me and for your older listeners, bloody menopause. oh my God. I never ever had anxiety before I had menopause and people will get it in perimenopause. It's so unfair, but it just takes over your body. And so the first time that it hit me, which was when we were filming stage moms, didn't recognize it because I had never had anxiety before. So when it hit me,
00:18:46
Speaker
It took over my body terribly and I was so unwell for about a week, wasn't I, with it? Yeah, yeah. Because I didn't know it. Now I can notice when it's coming and I can take herbs or take whatever it is that's going to help me get through it, drink chamomile tea. It doesn't really work. yeah It's like when I was had hyperamysis in pregnancy and people would tell me to drink a ginger tea. I was like, mm-hmm. Yeah, right. So, okay So you fear anxiety and that's a fear that you would like to get rid of. Yes.
00:19:21
Speaker
How do you think you could do that? I'm trying every day to do it. I'm trying to like calm my mind and I'm a big like believer in it is not my problem it's their problem. When something causes me anxiety it's their problem so stop taking
Book Discussion: 'Courage to be Disliked'
00:19:42
Speaker
it on. and i As if it's your problem as if it's something that you have to fix that you have to look after.
00:19:48
Speaker
And then you also take on their emotions as well. I think that's the thing too. Like you and I are both empaths. We feel for other people too much, which is a lovely quality to have, but it's also really... Sometimes. It's so detrimental as well. Yeah. Because it's hard to not get sucked into other people's dramas.
00:20:08
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, it is And back to what you were saying before, that a lot of anxiety stems from situations that you cannot control... Outside of you, it really links to other people. And that book that I'm reading, I've forgotten the name now, but it was Ryan Shelton who actually recommended it. do you remember the name? No.
00:20:29
Speaker
Some of my smileys will remember the name, but basically it's a book on it. Well, he talks about interpersonal Oh, courage, courage. the The courage to be disliked is the book. And he talks about how all problems stem from interpersonal relationships. Yes, they do. So all problems, basically, if we were on an island by ourself, yeah it wouldn't happen. But that's not reality and that's not how life works. So if you do struggle with anxiety, if you do struggle with holding on to...
00:21:04
Speaker
you know other people's emotions and fears, et cetera, this book is really, really helpful. And it is, it a vermont trump It reminds us that, yeah, all problems, anxieties, fears usually do stem from the connections that we have with people, whether they are good connections, whether they're connections that are strained.
00:21:26
Speaker
And it's just, it's almost something that we just have to accept instead of resist. What do you think? Because like, you're not going to go live on an island by yourself. No. And I understand why people go out and live in the middle of the bush with no one. around them to get away from, you know, drama as well.
00:21:43
Speaker
But what we have to do is recognize when those people are causing that stuff to us. Some people are not good people and we have to cut them out of our lives. Or they're not right for you at that time. Yeah. Or they're trying to teach you a lesson or not trying to teach you a lesson. The universe, I guess, is trying to send you...
00:22:03
Speaker
like a a change or a... what am i What's the word I'm looking for? well A lesson. Like you're going to learn, even when you meet people that you come up against that cause you anxiety, you're going to learn a lesson yes by interacting with them. So learn the lesson and move on, but know that you don't have to have anything else to do with those
Handling Negative Influences: Energy and Relationships
00:22:25
Speaker
people. And what would be your advice whether it... Because it can be harder, right? Like some people have...
00:22:31
Speaker
these people in their lives who are bringing them down, who are causing huge amounts of anxiety, but it's their family members. Yeah. Or it's a colleague that they have to work with every day. So what would be your advice then? Like it's all well and good. Let's say if we have, you know, a disagreement or if this one person makes us feel incredibly anxious and they've been awful, but we can just cut cords and be like, well, I don't want that person in my life. Yeah. But what about when it's someone that you have to be around?
00:23:02
Speaker
I'm a big believer in the bubble. Yes. I taught you about the bubble. I have taught the Smiley's also about the bubble. i put bubbles around me to protect myself from negative energy.
00:23:13
Speaker
um it was so funny. i was at the Tim Minchin concert the other night with my brother and husband and sister-in-law and someone behind us was sneezing so badly. Oh And we were all like getting really anxious looking at each other and I said to Nick, my brother, put a bubble around you and he's like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, bubble, you put a bubble around you, you protect yourself with a bubble. And he thought I was mad, but I explained it to him. And I said, I have done this with my children all my life.
00:23:44
Speaker
I do it around planes. I do it around the car. When we're traveling, you put bubbles around you to protect your energy. And it's a bubble of energy, right? Yeah. And we create energy because we are energy.
00:23:55
Speaker
Yes. So if you imagine a field of energy going around you, around your pet, around your baby, around your house, you are putting a fit like where where all wo we a force field... here. It's it goes. Just...
00:24:16
Speaker
But also within the bubble, you keep your yeah where your values, your beliefs, your happiness, your peace, you know. And it's a big lesson coming into festive season too because Christmas can be so happy for some people, yeah but it can be really hard for other people. yeah So if you need to put a bubble around yourself, do it.
00:24:34
Speaker
But I think let's like then talk about maybe the... Maybe if it's like a friend, let's say, or someone that you have worked with that has really hurt you, has really done wrong by you, you know? and it's very clear that you you do just need to cut the cord.
00:24:50
Speaker
Yeah. How do you do that without feeling like guilty and then turning it on yourself that it's your fault or, you know? Because like I'm a person that hasn't had fights with people. I know. And I've only had very few and it just like...
00:25:07
Speaker
We're both so non-confrontational and it just like... Rocks you. Oh, my God. Just, yeah. And makes me feel ill, like yeah physically ill. I've learned I throw a love heart at them.
00:25:19
Speaker
Like throw it hard or...? No, it's like an emoji, a red love heart, like a big one, and I just keep sending them.
00:25:30
Speaker
Because to me, those people need love because there's something really... I swear on here? Maybe not. Some people are just f***ed up.
00:25:44
Speaker
And they need love and energy thrown at them. So that's what I do is I throw b love heart bombs at them and I keep doing it And that stops me holding on the negativity that I feel because the negativity is what makes me feel sick. so like And that causes anxiety. Yes.
00:26:06
Speaker
And so i don't want to feel sick because of the situation that caused me the anxiety. So if I know that it's that person's problem and not mine, i just throw love hearts at them and it's like... And it feels good to send love. Like even if that person has hurt you, it can be hard at the start. Yeah.
Manifestation and Perception Changes
00:26:26
Speaker
But hurt people hurt people. So if you're being hurt by someone, it's likely that they're very hurt in their own lives and that is sad. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah. I remember when you were a kid, so I remember what the issue was. And I said, send love to them. And you're like, yeah I don't want to. yeah But then I did. and I felt so much better. And I felt an energy change in that person.
00:26:50
Speaker
And at the end of the day, i am love. We are love. Be love. Like it's, you know, it's a small thing when we are having these like disagreements or confrontations with people, whether it is with someone very important to you or not important to you.
00:27:09
Speaker
At the end of the day, I don't want to offend anyone by saying it's a small thing because you might be like, no, I had a falling out with like my dad and that's not a small thing. And I get that. I totally get that.
00:27:20
Speaker
But for your peace and your happiness, if you are living a peaceful life and a happy life by setting some healthy boundaries, and that's the thing, boundaries can be different for everyone. If you've had like a confrontation with a family member or someone, a colleague that you have to work with every single day, you could set boundaries where you still see them, you still deal with them, but you have healthy boundaries. Whereas if it's someone that is a friend that you need to let go of, or it is someone that you don't really know that you just don't need to have anything to do with anymore, then that boundary can just be complete cut off and that's yeah okay. It's uncomfortable for sure.
00:27:55
Speaker
But what's that saying? Some people are in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Yeah. Yeah. And it's true. and And I guess the thing is that the lifetime people, that's the hard thing because, yeah if it's a family member and they cause you anxiety, what you often find is that the anxiety is being caused because you want to change their behaviour.
00:28:19
Speaker
You cannot change other people's behaviour. So you have to learn to accept it and not let it affect you to give you that anxiety. Right. Does that make sense? Yes, a lot of sense.
00:28:32
Speaker
It makes so much sense, but it's so hard to do. It's so hard. And it comes down to that whole Mel Robbins thing of you have to let them. You have to let these people be them. You have to let these people make so mistakes because it is not worth your time and your energy to control them. And what you're doing when you are controlling other people, that's the energy that you're also giving out to the universe. Like I am a controller. I'm a dictator. I want micromanage every single thing that's happening to me and around me. How does that then relate to your manifestations? If you are wanting to manifest a beautiful new home, right? How are you going to manifest that if you're always controlling and you're constricted? Think of the energy, like you're constricted. You're like, if you're watching the video, I'm like curling over.
00:29:15
Speaker
But if we are expansive, if we are expanded, if we are open, The energy instantly changes. As I was talking about before with like self-development, self-reflection, it's
Personal Growth: Attention and Engagement
00:29:27
Speaker
instant. The changes can be instant. Like we can get so stuck in negative thought patterns, right? Or a rut. And we're like, this is going to take me weeks or months or years to get out of years of therapy, years of hard work.
00:29:39
Speaker
But your perception changes your reality in that very moment. yeah Whether it's to do with you or to do with someone else. And I think that can be quite freeing when you've realized that actually that person that is causing me this hurt or this pain or making me feel um uncomfortable,
00:29:57
Speaker
i have the power to change my perception of what they are doing yes and that's helped me like even sorry this is your question i'm going on a ten no is it i feel like we're just talking we're talking everything man we are we're just discussssing the whole three of them together really yeah Um, I, a personal problem that I have is when I open social media, I will see something that someone has put up and this person might not even know me, right? This is how, this is how silly this is. This person might not even know who I am and I feel targeted by what they put up and i feel like down about it or I feel stuck in comparison and all of a sudden i'm like making up all these stories
00:30:43
Speaker
Where it's like if I have the perception of actually this person put up that post because they are so proud of themselves and so happy and whatever, it just automatically changes. I'm like, oh my God, good on them. Yeah. I would do the same thing. yeah Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:02
Speaker
Should we pull another card? Yeah. Okay. We might just pull cards and both answer them. I think that's how it's going. All right. Oh, let me read it. How would you like to be a better person?
00:31:14
Speaker
h I think lately for me, I am finding I don't have the capacity to be the best wife, the best daughter, the best friend or the best workmate that I can be.
00:31:36
Speaker
But that's because i my most important job at the moment is to be the best mum that I can be. yeah And it's like I know that's nothing to apologise about and it's nothing that I have to justify or should feel like I have to justify.
00:31:51
Speaker
But I do because I know that I could be a better, more thoughtful, more present like friend when I'm like listening or giving advice or like when I'm with you, more present to just like have fun.
00:32:05
Speaker
So I don't know if it's like me being a better of person. But that's also protecting your energy. you you're You're a person, so you' you've only got so much energy to give. And Indigo is a priority right here, e right now in this time in your life.
00:32:22
Speaker
Like when I was a mum and you were little, you were my priority. And so dad probably didn't get much from me. It's kind of like seasons, it changes. Yeah.
00:32:34
Speaker
But even like, say I get messages on Pass Around a Smile from like my beautiful smiley community wanting help and guidance. And I want to be that person that can help and guide them, but I can't be. And like, I look at that and I'm like, I should be a better person. I should give them the time of day.
00:32:51
Speaker
But really, i know that, like you said, it's not the season for me to do that. no And I think... As I've got older too, I realise that being a better person is me not giving to everybody constantly because it's in my nature to... ah Someone will say, oh, i really need a job. And the next thing I'm bloody Googling they could apply for. Like, stop. Yeah.
00:33:23
Speaker
Stop trying to help people. Yes. even And give 100% of yourself instead to those who... Yeah, and also put yourself first because when you're feeling healthy and happy and prioritising what is the most important thing, not helping the person find a job, they can do that themselves. Yeah. I mean, I would.
00:33:43
Speaker
Now I sound like I'm being a bitch, but... No, no. Like, would help them if I could, but ah sometimes you've got to put yourself first. Yeah. And what your priorities should be. Yes.
00:33:54
Speaker
And that changes as well. Sometimes you have the time to find that person a job. Yeah. And that's great. And that feels good. Like it feels good to be thoughtful. It feels good to do things for other people when you have capacity. And I think the lesson in here is when you don't have capacity, don't feel guilty for feeling like you are not being a good person to people who in that moment don't necessarily need it from you. No, you're just trying to, I don't know, make yourself feel good by giving someone else something which you shouldn't need.
00:34:29
Speaker
However, let's, let's answer this question now from like an actual, let's give one thing where we really know how, like, how would we like to be a better person? I think i have I have two things. Like there would be a million. There's a million things I put in my journal. But right now I'm thinking I really feel like I could give more time and energy to actually like helping the world a bit more. Like as in like finding really great places to like donate or like talking about the environment more.
00:35:04
Speaker
And like just things like that that really matter. Yeah. Like I think that that stuff is important. Yeah. And I also I'm guilty of looking at people talking about it and I'll scroll through to the next funny dog video. And that's all far well and fine when I just need to have a minute.
00:35:20
Speaker
I'm not saying, you know, spend all your waking moments and all your calm time researching and trying to be a better person. No, but I'm saying that's probably something that I could probably like be a bit more like thoughtful toward.
00:35:33
Speaker
Yeah. As long as it doesn't drain you. Yes. No, totally. I get that as well. Yeah. Yeah. This is going to sound weird, but what is the question? How would you like to be a better person?
00:35:44
Speaker
I want to improve my health. Is that a silly thing to say? Because to me, as I get older, my health is really important and I've taken it for granted because I was always really active, really slim. And then as I got older, my knees are pretty stuffed.
00:36:04
Speaker
That's like a hereditary thing, osteoarthritis in my family. Let's hope you don't get it. I won't. Manifestation. Manifestation. Yeah. So it's limited. i used to like to dance yeah to keep healthy. I hate exercising. I find it a chore. So I have to... Someone needs to change their perception. I know. I do. And I'm trying and I'm doing other things. But that, to me, I want to be a better person at looking after my body.
00:36:33
Speaker
As it gets older, because it's so important. yeah If you don't use it, you lose it. Yeah. And you've got to keep it moving and keep it, you know, everything going.
00:36:44
Speaker
And as you get older and as menopause hits, there's all these things that I can't control anymore that I used to be able to. Yeah. Yeah. I think, um, just quickly, one more thing that I was just thinking of, I have this one friend who is so attentive to everything that all us girls are doing like she remembers things that and yeah and she like really listens and yeah I think I could be i think I'm a good listener but I think I could be better and again like it's hard when you're in a season of life where I am at capacity and I'm not making excuses but I also do want to be reflective of like things that I'm not the best at you know But yeah, I think we could all probably be better listeners and really like attentive to what's going on in other people's lives. Like, you know, those friends that are like, how was that like job that you did two weeks ago where you were nervous and you were at that school? And I'm like, how did you remember that? And then I, you know, I know I have friends the same and.
00:37:45
Speaker
And I forget little details like that they were going away that week or that they went out for dinner or a show and I've totally forgotten. They told me and I was listening while they tell me but it just doesn't stay in. Yeah. being more present and attentive.
00:38:02
Speaker
when they're talking and like trying to put it in a memory box somewhere. Yes. Agreed. And like reserving that space for them is okay, you know, cause you love them yeah and you want to make them feel good too. And and this brings me to another thing that that out of that book, don't sweat the small stuff, which is one of my favorite books. I always recommend it. One of the lessons that I most resonated with, do I say most resonate? One of the lessons resonate the most with, resonate the most with, is don't cut people off when they are talking. Like, don't talk over people. Like this. Like, we all do it. learn to. to.
00:38:43
Speaker
Shut mom. We literally all, didn't say shut up, mom, by the way. That was her. um
Parental Fears: Body Image & Anxieties
00:38:49
Speaker
We literally all do it. It's natural. And especially when you get in banter and it like, there's times where it's okay. And like, you're laughing and you're joking and whatever. But there are some times where it's like, you really want to get your point across.
00:39:01
Speaker
And you know, if someone's talking over you, it creates so much tension and anxiety and then you're almost rushing it. And then you leave that conversation just feeling really like unheard.
00:39:13
Speaker
So I really try and I know i will admit I do it. We all do it. But I think we should all try more in becoming better people. Let people talk. Let people have their say. Don't cut people off. Don't talk over them. Again, I do it. We all do it. Okay. ah I don't know. Okay, fine. we We've got to answer it. but This is going to be our last question, and I think we should just kind of give one one answer and then kind of end the podcast. In what ways do you fear you could negatively impact your children? Mine's like, this isn't a joke, but it's kind of not serious, which pass around the smile is not always serious, so I'm going to go for it.
00:39:50
Speaker
I have to try so hard not to make indigo hate magpies. Wow. but Because i'm of yeah I've told you guys I'm very, very afraid of magpies. I'm not a fan.
00:40:02
Speaker
And I'm trying so hard to be like, look at the pretty bird indigo. You're safe. They're nice. Aren't they sweet? Listen to the listening to their pretty sound. It's like, oh, man.
00:40:16
Speaker
So anyway, that's my answer because I don't feel like going deep on that one right now. But can if you want. And you tell me off about this all the time is I comment on my body because i grew up in an era where it was everyone was stick insects.
00:40:33
Speaker
All the magazines were telling us to diet. it All the models were tiny weenie. There was no acceptance of anyone who was what we called chubby.
00:40:45
Speaker
And now that my body doesn't do what I want it to do, it doesn't look like I expected it to look because I was very skinny all the way right up pretty much until my late 40s and when menopause starts rearing its head and you tell me off all the time. I say stop saying that mum you look lovely and blah blah blah and I do.
00:41:10
Speaker
i have to stop looking at my body and going oh look at that stomach and look at my thighs and the jiggly bits and Yes. And just accept them. I find that so hard. Yeah.
00:41:23
Speaker
And I love that your generation really accepts, you've grown up accepting that. Mm-hmm. that everyone's a different size and everyone looks different and is different. It's really hard for people that grew up and that wasn't the norm. Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:43
Speaker
Well, that was really beautiful.
Conclusion: Tour Updates & Encouragement
00:41:44
Speaker
That was beautiful. Thank thank thank you. Well, thank you, Smilies, for coming along this episode. i promise you that I will finish every episode with a little tour recap. I don't actually have too much to say other than i definitely fall asleep in so much fear every single night. Yeah.
00:42:02
Speaker
Because this is the biggest, scariest thing that I've ever done. But I want this to inspire you guys to take leaps, to do things that scare you. Because in my gut, I know that this is going to be so impactful. And I am so excited. I honestly am so excited. But it's just scary, you know. um and if you don't do things that don't scare you.
00:42:25
Speaker
Hang on, if you don't do things that scare you every now and then, you will never develop. You'll never move forward. You'll never achieve new things. And like a yucky feeling is looking back and thinking, why didn't I give that a go? Yeah.
00:42:40
Speaker
Regret. Yeah. You know, you're not going to regret things that you tried because even if you try and you seemingly fail, it's not failing. You will be redirected and you will become closer to a different goal that lights you up. Yeah. So, yeah, not too much to report on the tour front. We've booked Gold Coast. We are booking Sydney and Melbourne now. We are planning still to launch ju January 11th. And my new year course, of course, is online. So if you are sad because you can't come to the tour, at least you'll get my three-day manifestation course with the walking meditation, the new year card spread ritual. It's going to be so powerful. And that has launched. It's out. It's in the show notes. And thank you so much to LSKD for sponsoring another episode.
00:43:26
Speaker
Bye.