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Nonsensical Nonsense: Welcome to flavortown sloots!
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Glick is back after a little break and you know he brought the fockery with a crazy panel of guests and friends
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE bio.link/nonsensicalnetwork
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Transcript
Kickoff with Chaotic Energy
00:01:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:03:07
Speaker
show. Hey, y'all better look the fuck out today. My crayons are sharp, the box is full, my bottle of glue's topped off, and my helmet's on tight, baby. We're about to risen with the tism. Let's get with it.
00:03:22
Speaker
Suck my dick and eat my asshole, you sons of bitches. but
00:03:35
Speaker
Well, why am I not coming up on the screen?
Social Media and Artwork Excitement
00:03:38
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:03:41
Speaker
Do have an overlay on? I do. I do.
00:03:46
Speaker
What's going on? Obviously, I'm out of practice. I have not been on here doing much of anything. The last couple few weeks. So, anywho, what's going on, everybody? Happy Saturday. Welcome to Nonsensical Nonsense. It's good to be back in the driver's seat. It's good to be back in front of a camera and hanging out and chatting with you guys. If you're not already, go ahead and check us out. Give us follow everywhere.
00:04:08
Speaker
Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok. Shows are live all the time on the YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch. And you can listen anytime, anyplace, which for the most part...
00:04:20
Speaker
We're kind of caught up. I'll let everything up and available on your Spotify, your Apple, wherever you listen to podcasts at. Simply go to bio.link slash nonsensicalnetwork. All my shit's fucked up. Let me get that back down there. Scrolling at the bottom.
00:04:37
Speaker
And don't forget, like, share, and subscribe. Oh, we got fancy new artwork. What? That's awesome. And as always,
00:04:50
Speaker
Nine out of ten grannies do approve.
00:04:55
Speaker
So much better than stoner granny because that granny fits our attitude around here. Fuck it. Anywho. Oh, it's Saturday night. I took me a long ass nap today. I know. I see this.
00:05:08
Speaker
wonder how long can make her wait. And if she tries to bring herself up, i'm going to remove her. Yeah, that's how i roll.
00:05:15
Speaker
See? See?
00:05:21
Speaker
See, I'm faster than you.
00:05:25
Speaker
And you're muted. Yeah, yeah. See, you've been doing shows with Michael and you still don't know how any of this shit works. Okay. This is your show. I didn't want to intrude. Okay.
00:05:39
Speaker
Just the fact that you're here is an intrusion.
00:05:46
Speaker
yeah
00:05:49
Speaker
No. ah No, you're good. You're good. I was playing around, uploading some new stuff. Michael sent me this the other day, and I was like, oh.
Music Production Insights
00:06:02
Speaker
Yes. it That's good. That's good on the network.
00:06:08
Speaker
ah Not a granny, but.
00:06:12
Speaker
What up, Wally? How you doing, Bubba? Wally. the feels like forever since I've done a show. It really has been. It has been forever. I haven't had anything going on on Tuesday nights. So i have ah I have a little something I'm working on, but I need to sit down and I actually have to delete a whole bunch of shit, and then upload a whole bunch of shit. and I really haven't had time or the chance to do what I want to do, and I guess this Tuesday night, actually a little ah little promo for Tuesday night. Glicks House of Music will be back after a few weeks, and Michael and I are going to talk about, because they announced the Hall of Fame inductees, so we're going to chat about them. I'm already upset about one of the inductees, so White Stripes, you're on my radar, and I'm going to
00:07:02
Speaker
I'm going to burn it down with the white stripes.
Humorous Disdain for White Stripes
00:07:06
Speaker
Fuck themselves. There's no business in the Hall of Fame. We'll save that for another time. then ye About damn time. Shut up, Wally. Why don't you go to work or something?
00:07:19
Speaker
but she okay i My little brother is going to be making some beats for like our intros and extras. I got to get a hold of... i didn't know so Cool, cool, cool.
00:07:31
Speaker
Speaking of music, I got to get a hold of Rocky because he was working on he was working on that a remix of that Sasquatch song. ah yeah i he was He was about halfway through with it and he sent it to me what he's got so far it's fucking sick.
00:07:49
Speaker
I'm like, hell yeah. mother that That's going to be the outro on Saturday night. Yeah, because we got to switch some shit up. That's going to be my outro. I'll see about putting putting together a video for it.
00:08:08
Speaker
That'll be my outro here on Saturday nights. Oh, yeah. So, Stu is the one that made the light shows thing. It's funny.
00:08:19
Speaker
She keeps making all your dope ass shit.
Exploring StreamYard Features
00:08:25
Speaker
I need intro music. Well, and just just download some AI, man.
00:08:32
Speaker
Some AI music makers. And you could literally, I don't know you've got Gemini or what kind of phone you have, but you could literally just ask Gemini to create a song for you.
00:08:48
Speaker
and give it some... ah right thumb go enough Give it some...
00:08:55
Speaker
What up, Siri? Alexa? jim and i What up, bitches? Hey, Alexa, buy me some extra large fondants.
00:09:06
Speaker
You need water balloons? oh I meant to say dildos, but... I read. Add 48-inch black dildo to my shopping list. Yes. ad forty eight inch black dildo to my shopping list yes
00:09:22
Speaker
Now that that sound clips out there on the internet, I'm sure that's going to get a beauty. I've done it to my friends before. Jersey!
00:09:33
Speaker
My girl. Yeah, you did a beauty. Yeah, I haven't really got on here. I got on here last Saturday and was, or was it Saturday afternoon when I got on here?
00:09:44
Speaker
We didn't do Saturday last week. I'm uploading episodes and making those new new logos, things. Yeah, last Saturday I got on here and kind of played around. There's all kinds of new updates to StreamYard.
00:09:56
Speaker
I can do, like, notes, and apparently when people are backstage, like, I don't know, man. It's it's different. so It is. It is different from when you're backstage, too.
00:10:10
Speaker
I can dig it. Happy Saturday. We'll see. I'm working on making it a happy Saturday.
Halloween Party Anecdotes
00:10:16
Speaker
I just cracked my first beverage after... So last weekend I didn't do a show and I told Brittany and Michael to take that take the night off.
00:10:26
Speaker
Kayla and I went to a Halloween party with some friends but but friends and family. the up yeah What's that? Did you dress up? Yeah. ah did I got a little, ah got me a ghost face and I had my leather jacket and know, a little book talk action. Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
But, no, we had a really good time. we we we We had a really good time. Kayla dressed up. She looked hot as hell. ah I was going to say, like, what she what what kind of slut was she?
00:11:02
Speaker
She was like a, would say, she was definitely flooded it up a little bit. Yeah, I like that she was a victim. She was my victim.
00:11:13
Speaker
Yeah. I don't want to know anymore. You can just lose with that. It was definitely a nice break from ah Saturday night bullshit. We had a good time. ah i got a little tipsy.
00:11:27
Speaker
I don't think I was too terrible last Saturday. Okay. I mean, I've been worse. Do you know how much moonshine you drank? A lot. Yeah. ha
00:11:39
Speaker
paul I didn't drink a lot of beer. It was more moonshine than anything else. actually kind of i kind of remember a little bit um yeah they uh they man they make really good moonshine and it's disrespectful if you're offered shine to uh to turn it down you know there was it was a nice break i feel like we all needed it
00:12:08
Speaker
we all definitely needed the break for sure
00:12:14
Speaker
What up, Mandy? Mandy! manmby I don't know. Is there a soundboard? o publicmeter soundboard Yeah, there is a soundboard. Where the hell is the soundboard? I can't buy it. I don't it. I got peoples. I got private chat. I'm to have to play around. If I got a soundboard, it's about to get real.
00:12:34
Speaker
I can get... but i've been i know i can know i can i know i can get equipment to to hook up a soundboard to my laptop, but I've been putting it off because I know that I'm going to be incredibly obnoxious if I have a soundboard and a voice changer. I could
Stand-up Comedy Plans
00:12:57
Speaker
have sworn somebody said it was on screen. I would be around Wednesday. Somebody said, I think, lazy Jedi. Maybe.
00:13:08
Speaker
make i don't know i haven't really been on here much like i said i got on here last weekend to upload a couple images and stuff like that so that we would have them maybe i can always find that right button shut up mandy but i wonder where at yeah okay i think it's over to the left Yeah, I got spanners and comments and media assets and style. What's in style?
00:13:46
Speaker
I got notes. Notes are fun. That's going to be ah that's gonna be an awesome thing to have. PayPal? Private eight chat.
00:13:58
Speaker
But even in the media stuff, QR video clips.
00:14:04
Speaker
Settings. Background. Sound. and
00:14:12
Speaker
I don't know. I feel
00:14:21
Speaker
feel it. I think that's it. Oh, that's it. Oh, you got upload them. I found it. You got upload it.
00:14:36
Speaker
thank you je
00:14:42
Speaker
I only have one earbud in, so this is like really fucking with my April of the year. I'm going to trigger you early in the show. Yes.
00:14:54
Speaker
Dude, cannot wait to fucking roast your ass on the new scene. I'm glad that you think you're going to, and I'm not going to be either beside the stage here in the crowd triggering you.
00:15:05
Speaker
Okay, says the person up that says you're going to walk away if things go too far. bitch. You're going to sit there and you're going to fucking take it.
00:15:17
Speaker
That's the whole point of a roast. You agree to it. You're going to sit there and fucking take Just know that potentially I get a microphone at some point in time. That's fine. Roast me back.
00:15:27
Speaker
That's cool. I don't care. I don't need to roast you. I'm just going to trigger you from the audience. Because I'm going to interrupt you, fuck. That's all I'm going to go.
00:15:39
Speaker
I'm going first. So I'll be good.
00:15:43
Speaker
thatsle you but yeah baby now like yeah you're looking i'm gonna go i'm going first so how good um be friendly I'm not talking to you. The rest is going to start super early. yeah You know what?
00:16:08
Speaker
Fuck my set. I'm just going to talk shit on my state this whole time. No, I won't interrupt your set because I'm actually really curious to see how you do because I know you've talked about doing it a couple times and wanting to dabble more into the comedy world. I'm i'm curious to see how it goes for you. I'm actually, i'm I'm actually really
New Year's Eve Comedy Roasts
00:16:25
Speaker
curious to see Michael's because I've never seen anything Michael's done comedy wise.
00:16:30
Speaker
So I know what he does on here and it's, it's not very funny, but <unk>s he's just funny looking. Yeah. No. So I'm curious. i think ty check now this problemmo video I think Tyler's going to be there. So I'm excited for that.
00:16:48
Speaker
I like Tyler. He's cool. Yeah. we again i love that um that's so I'm gonna have to get with Marco and ask him where he gets all his all his onesies at and see if you can find me a Squatch onesie so Marco and I can be in onesies for New Year's Eve.
00:17:06
Speaker
That would be cute and like honestly, I can see it. What?
00:17:17
Speaker
Marco's a trip. He's a little bit of a place but Just remembering he's about as full of an asshole. Thank God, assholes. too
00:17:30
Speaker
but like Thank God. i think right What is New Year's Eve on what? Wednesday night? Yeah, it's on a Wednesday.
00:17:40
Speaker
So we'll be off Thursday.
00:17:44
Speaker
Yeah, Kayla and I will be heading up Wednesday after she gets off work. So we probably won't get up there until about 7. seven 7.30-ish anyways. But we're going to get a room there at the hotel, hopefully.
00:17:58
Speaker
I'm standing with Sue and Michael. Yeah. Yeah, Michael offered that, but I was like, no, where are you going to a room? I should look into that soon. i don't I can't imagine they're going to be booked on New Year's Eve. It's in this little podunk-ass town of middle of nowhere, Ohio.
00:18:16
Speaker
didn't. and should probably still look thin. It's a nice, it's ah it's a decent hotel, isn't it? It's like decently sized, right? Oh, yeah. was going say, thought was, because the bar is underneath of it, where we're doing everything. So I thought it was decently sized, but that's like. Oh, it's nice.
00:18:33
Speaker
Clean. It's kind of like here. It's like a small, rural, old town, you know. So I'll look into it. I'll get the name of it exactly, and we can look it. It's not that small.
00:18:45
Speaker
What? That's not like tiny, small. Morning or Champion or whatever? Yeah. Like there are a lot of things around there. Well, where we're at, it's not super small. There's a lot. There's a lot around here.
00:18:58
Speaker
If you come to where I live, well, that's small. Yeah. yeah yeah It's literally called Littlestown. but but Oh, so I did stop by a pub yesterday.
00:19:14
Speaker
I'm going to try to set up a stand-up act thing. to Sorry, didn't do that. A stand-up, like, open mic type thing here.
Open Mic Night Preparations
00:19:26
Speaker
We have two pubs here, basically. And that's it. I'm going to try to do a stand-up act before New Year's Eve just so I can, like, practice. Is it open mic or an actual show?
00:19:40
Speaker
Yeah. Well, i just like a I don't know. um I still have to talk to the owner on Tuesday about it. I stopped by there at the assistant manager or assistant to the manager.
00:19:53
Speaker
ah He liked the idea. So, but yeah, I'm going to talk her. She's like around my age and I know her. I think it'll happen. So practice makes points.
00:20:09
Speaker
don't I've been doing this for four years, and I still don't know what the fuck I'm doing, so.
00:20:17
Speaker
Amy, where are you heading in? Thank you, Jersey. don't know where she's at every year in November. Yeah. Every year in November. If it's close enough, we're going to end up going, aren't we?
00:20:32
Speaker
All right.
00:20:34
Speaker
yeah I mean, you want to go sha and hawk we i want to go Mississippi. Mississippi is not that far. Mississippi is not that far. I've been down to Mississippi before. I've been down to all the branch.
00:20:52
Speaker
Well, that's kind of right across the border from Tennessee. but It's getting real close, dangerously close to banjo territory when you get down into Mississippi. but i' but for everything where is it it's not in there no uh yeah down in um point pleasant they do the mothman festival every that's pretty cool yeah yeah i've always wanted to get that
00:21:26
Speaker
i wish i could come and have them come take some people away to a land. Mandy, because she's closer to New Orleans. What's that? Mandy's closer to New Orleans. We could go down.
00:21:42
Speaker
We could go to the Squatch Festival and then we can go take vacation in New Orleans. Yeah, and then MoDog could go visit you too. well Yeah, MoDog's in Kentucky. Double date.
00:21:53
Speaker
I know, but he could go visit her in double date. You know what saying? in Jersey. Mississippi's down here.
Geography Confusion Humor
00:22:02
Speaker
Jersey's up here. right no shake yeah Geography's hard, huh, Bray?
00:22:08
Speaker
Wait. I thought... Yeah, never mind.
00:22:15
Speaker
Oh, shit. I was good and i was just going to say, i was going to pretend like I didn't know you when I come down, but now she's going to cook for her. Whatever. They can meet up and y'all can have double dates.
00:22:31
Speaker
Yeah, if he comes in here tonight, I'll ask you where he's from. just as that ah He's going to kill me is what he's going to do eventually.
00:22:41
Speaker
haven't talked to him in a minute. I haven't talked to him today.
00:22:49
Speaker
just per Well, like, not talk to him, just have a message back and forth. See, it would work out perfect. Squatch it up, then we can go get some voodoo hoodoo on.
00:23:00
Speaker
yeah do What that voodoo that you would do? Have you ever done any voodoo stuff? Yes, all the time. I am a i i am a righteous religious practicer of voodoo. I'm a voodoo king.
00:23:19
Speaker
They call me Baron Glick. thank you Well known in the voodoo world.
00:23:27
Speaker
I have actually got this. Or I've ever practiced. I mean, I would love to learn a little bit about it. I know about voodoo and I would probably dabble in it. Dark magic. Yeah.
00:23:38
Speaker
Go teach the Sasquatch voodoo. That's what's up. What a sight. It's being Sasquatch doing a fucking wizardry in the woods.
00:23:49
Speaker
I can make voodoo dolls of everybody that like is in the chat and on the show and stuff like that. And then I could like, poke you with pins during the show. I should have never given you this fucking idea, dude. I did this. Voodoo dolls smack itself in the face and be like, why are you hitting yourself, Brit? are you hitting yourself?
00:24:09
Speaker
It's going to have Tourette's, that's why. Wait, maybe somebody does have a fucking voodoo doll of me and that's what's happening me. Maybe that's what actual Tourette's is Maybe it's voodoo dolls. Voodoo. Yeah.
00:24:26
Speaker
It's like the street guy on the internet that is a part of the family. finish
00:24:40
Speaker
Real deal places. Yeah, that's right. I knew you were originally from in Louisiana.
Mardi Gras and Voodoo Jokes
00:24:45
Speaker
I couldn't remember where you are now. I always think you're in Alabama, but I know that's not right.
00:24:51
Speaker
By the battery, Alabama.
00:24:55
Speaker
That's my boat. Marie Labu. I'm a real horror story. Season now like three. I go see her. I don't have the titties to you.
00:25:11
Speaker
What? what What does that have to do with anything? We're going to go talk to her. Yeah, that'd be cool.
00:25:24
Speaker
Mardi Gras. We had a... When I lived in Charleston, there was Geechee, and they practice... Oh, God. I think it's... I think it's hoodoo. Voodoo, voodoo.
00:25:43
Speaker
Something along those lines. It's not like you your your traditional voodoo. It's a different type that the Geechees did. Geechee. I believe I've heard of it, but I don't like exactly know.
00:25:58
Speaker
It's pretty cool. It's pretty cute. Yeah. I just want to put curses people. I did I did get some hay for my friend's mom one time for her to do some voodoo shit because she's like really into it. She did have voodoo doll and everything like She did like a love spell and like some other spells or whatever.
00:26:26
Speaker
ah she and she's all into that shit. I mean, I do have some stuff up there. I want to put a curse on people to have like raging diarrhea at the worst possible time.
00:26:43
Speaker
That's all the time it affects them. Like when they're in a meeting or when they're stuck in traffic. Yeah.
00:26:51
Speaker
Voodoo is Haitian. Voodoo is West African. close Yeah, they're close. Voodoo and Voodoo is close. I can't remember what they called, and I know this is, I'm going to get yelled at eventually by somebody down in South Carolina that knows me, that listens. They're going to be like, God damn it, Glick!
00:27:09
Speaker
Yeah, well, what's now? You're used right? Yeah, I don't care. It's life. Life's a biatch. yeah Oh, hey, forgot about that group chat. but Brian's still keeping it alive.
00:27:22
Speaker
I know dude right
00:27:26
Speaker
there's so many of them now by zine in their drink will have yeah but I don't want to actually go yeah it I can't I mean I can't always go and just drop by zine in people's drinks but if I could put a curse on somebody from a long far away distance I'm just saying i don't want to kill nobody just people people ah i think And now it makes them shit themselves.
00:27:53
Speaker
Oh, Vizine? I don't think Vizine will kill people. Maybe if you put too much in. Jersey works in the medical field. don't know. Yeah, I was reading i was reading Jersey's comments.
00:28:05
Speaker
Look, just because I say things don't mean that it's actually my words. Sometimes I'm reading the comments. I know people like to twist my words when they come out of my mouth. Yeah. but You just get, like, mad diarrhea. Yeah.
00:28:19
Speaker
Not just the runs, says Jersey. ah home I going to give a violin, a visine just like. Mandy. Yeah, but there's nothing really in there, really. It's like. Yes, you do.
00:28:31
Speaker
Please. The second day in a row, I'll discuss Voodoo. It's almost Halloween, honestly. It'd be perfect. The violin that they give you, isn and it just like ah isn't it just salt water? I'm down.
00:28:43
Speaker
No, it's a visine for your eyes. Yeah, but there's nothing really in visine. There's no salt in visine. No, I know. There is. Saline. There's nothing really in Vizine, is there?
00:28:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:56
Speaker
yeah Yeah, that's what I'm saying. my neighbors are bumping it hard. but thing um But yes, Mandy, I need you to break out the kit, please.
00:29:09
Speaker
I would love that. Why were you why were you why are were you talking about voodoo ah last night on the network?
00:29:19
Speaker
What were they talking about? Explaining the voodoo zombie to Michael last night. Oh, yeah, Michael's. I tuned into the replay for a hot second. And then I got aggravated because of who was on the panel and I didn't watch the rest of it.
00:29:34
Speaker
Okay. I'll discuss it for another day.
00:29:39
Speaker
and okay ah discussioner for another day yeah do I need to talk to you about something backstage afterwards. Does it have to be tonight or can it be another day? No, just like who might show up on New Year's Eve.
00:29:57
Speaker
Oh, in Ohio?
00:30:01
Speaker
don't fucking care. yeah
00:30:05
Speaker
I just thought about it i don't say Oh, yeah. if Yeah, I don't care. I doubt it. Highly unlikely. all right well yeah buy tickets but oh yeah yeah that's right I forgot about that can't wait to roast your ass I can't wait to watch all of you epically fail yeah I am like I was talking to them I was like we have to make sure we don't have the same jokes because there are some easy ones
00:30:40
Speaker
we can drop it full we nice spell I will rush the stage and WWE style smash somebody in the head with a bell. See? That's what I'm saying. No, no, no. gotta take this. I'm gonna be handing out Glick stunners on the stage. if You're gonna be sitting on the stage in front of everybody. saying i'm walkinging dropping motherfuckers on chins.
00:31:02
Speaker
Just like Stone Cold Glick would do.
00:31:06
Speaker
That's the bottom line. that's
00:31:12
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right, yeah. Still waiting, big boy. Still waiting, Wally.
Personal Updates and Social Media
00:31:18
Speaker
Bitch. and escape You're scared, Wally.
00:31:23
Speaker
I could take him. We'll talk about the film Serpent and the Rainbow. Dude, I think I, like, jumped on you to give you a hug, and you barely even moved.
00:31:39
Speaker
Not exactly small, and you're all of like 90 pounds. More than that. Give me at least a little bit.
00:31:52
Speaker
Kayla and I, our first date, we went to a haunted house, and I can't tell you how many times she basically jumped. i know. ah That's cute. Her cousin it was like, you didn't even move. You just caught her. love that.
00:32:06
Speaker
i love that
00:32:09
Speaker
Sounds like you guys are doing really good, and I love that for you. Hey, we're doing all right. She's pretty cool. Hey, fuck off. Be nice. I'm just playing.
00:32:21
Speaker
I'm playing. No, she's actually ah she's amazing. She's ah she's a cool-ass chick. We've been having a lot of fun together. We better fucking treat her good.
00:32:32
Speaker
No, that's not how that works. You're supposed to tell her to treat me. I mean, it's both. Fuck off, dude. it goes both ways but yeah i feel for the girl wally poor girl most importantly is me i'll start to be there in a few oh jerry you know who's getting late tonight i think she's talking about he'll be here on the i don't know i don't know she's talking about he'll be here tonight
00:33:04
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I got to drop that, don't I? That's been a half hour. Wow. Yeah, I was wondering why even... There we go. Get other people in here. um so No, because I control. those You know, I don't want somebody in here. They don't come in. and It's that easy. Well,
00:33:26
Speaker
I can do that, too. I got my nails done today. Are you, Scotto?
00:33:35
Speaker
Do I care about your nails? I don't give the fuck a fuck if you care. What'd you do? Just purple or do you have stuff on them? It's just purple. aren't Simple. i went want to be I wanted them to be darker like for Halloween but they're still cool.
00:33:51
Speaker
I might paint a little spider web on my ah spider web.
00:34:02
Speaker
I wanted to show you too.
00:34:07
Speaker
I'm in the holiday spirit. plan umma i mean I'm in the football spirit. I know. It's fucking annoying. I'm not even talking about football. i just I'm watching Michigan play Little Brother right now as we do the show. Of course you are. I'm to upload that picture of you at i actually love I'm awesome. and She's awesome. So deal with it, Wally.
00:34:37
Speaker
Bitch. Go Browns! We won last week. Woo-hoo! Yeah.
00:34:45
Speaker
yeah Two five. Two wins for the season. That made me he's soda mad. i was like, he's going to never shut up about this. I didn't say anything. ah
00:35:00
Speaker
I enjoyed watching the game last week. No, we were doing last sunday we just stayed in last no what did we do last sunday what up my dog how's
Football Banter
00:35:13
Speaker
it oh i had to leave a little bit early yeah we went over uh never to your parents house for a little bit what up son what i bench welcome good Jersey, I tell you every Saturday, nobody cares.
00:35:31
Speaker
Oh, the Eagles did win, didn't they? Yeah, didn't they drop like three in a row and then finally win? Yeah, they were going to back.
00:35:44
Speaker
ah Pin that message there on the YouTube. There we go. Got the link on the YouTube channel. The doors are officially open for anybody who may or may not want to.
00:35:55
Speaker
I guess it really doesn't matter if they don't want to come in. But for anybody who wants to come in... Hey, Wally, you better watch your fucking mouth. Yes. Amen to that, Wally. That's the goddamn... You better watch your fucking mouth.
00:36:09
Speaker
That's the goddamn truth right there. I'm gonna go grab my jersey real quick. Why? It's because they didn't have Jackson in the fucking game. That's why. Because he's injured.
00:36:22
Speaker
shitbi system
00:36:30
Speaker
Yeah, they did. They did last week. Cheers. It's all good in the hood.
00:36:41
Speaker
I feel like every time I watch the game, they lose. You should watch all the games from now on. Okay. especially when they play the Browns. You should 100% watch that game. No, I purposely did not watch the Browns game, but I should watch the Browns game just so they lose.
00:37:03
Speaker
They don't need you. The don't need you lose, trust me. Thank God we were playing the Miami Dolphins last week, and the Dolphins are in a worse case of dumpster fire. Yeah, they are.
00:37:18
Speaker
yeah there I like their colors, but other than that. Cleveland needs no help losing. That is for sure. So. Uh-uh.
00:37:31
Speaker
Uh-uh. You got Jackson Dart and Cam Scadaboo to contend with. Scadaboo's going to put up four tutties. Nah. Nah. Nah. yeah Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. This one's a hard one. Giants are probably going to fucking win.
00:37:45
Speaker
God damn it.
00:37:50
Speaker
Why did it switch to Megan? have no idea. You've got the controller. It's sitting over here.
00:37:57
Speaker
That's weird. I was like, this is the strangest commercial I've ever seen in my life.
00:38:06
Speaker
I'm talking about the strangest and longest commercial I've ever seen in my life.
00:38:13
Speaker
click I found a spot up near your neck of the woods that I'm going to check out and photograph when the weather stops being a rainy whore. The trolls at Allwood? What in the hell? Where the fuck is that?
00:38:27
Speaker
At Allwood? mean, it's in Ohio. Yeah.
00:38:38
Speaker
only i mean it's it's in yeah It's in Dayton. It's in Ohio. I guess Ohio is my take of the woods, but Dayton is like two and a half hours.
00:38:52
Speaker
two hours two two Two and a half hours for me. It's like the southwest part of Ohio over by Indiana. a um also It's not that far.
00:39:03
Speaker
Yeah, it is. Oh, yeah. I've seen pictures of that before. I've always wanted to see that. It's about two hours.
Travel Plans and Geography Humor
00:39:10
Speaker
Honestly, that's where you belong.
00:39:15
Speaker
I feel like you should go there. Oh, I know what he's talking about. Yeah. yeah I've seen that shit before. well you Kayla's looking at it right now as we speak. She just showed me a couple pictures or a picture.
00:39:38
Speaker
seen it is I'm not in Columbus. I'm about 45 minutes east of Columbus, you drunk slore. Stop eating the orange crowns, Moe Dog, and get back to the purple one. Stop saying slore.
00:39:51
Speaker
Get back.
00:39:58
Speaker
It does look cool. It really does. Columbus is only three hours from northern Kentucky. I can get to Louisville. but Yeah, I said it. Fuck a deal with it. Louisville.
00:40:09
Speaker
I can get to Louisville in... how move In about three and a half hours from where I'm at. Yeah, I'm... Why is it doing this? What are you talking about? I'm trying to watch this guy. I'm trying to have this goddamn game on, but it keeps switching over to Megan for some reason.
00:40:29
Speaker
Purple. I wanted a more Ravens purple, but
00:40:36
Speaker
I know, but clearly you're eating orange ones because you're all fucked up on your geography.
00:40:47
Speaker
How dare you? Look, I'm going to put it, I'm going to nip this conversation in the bud real quick. I'm just going to do this. mekaha Let's go Dayton.
00:41:03
Speaker
Directions. Directions. From Nurkaha. Two hours. Sorry.
00:41:14
Speaker
An hour and 44 minutes. 45 minutes. My bad. I was off. That's not bad.
00:41:25
Speaker
ah Either or. Louisville. but I say Louisville. I do it on purpose to piss people off. or Louisville. I say Louisville or Louisville. Louisville. I do it on purpose. Louisville.
00:41:42
Speaker
Okay, this is really becoming... Like a French bird, you damn who. You are just so distracted tonight.
00:41:53
Speaker
Let's fucking think for... MoDong.
00:41:59
Speaker
nice mode All
00:42:06
Speaker
all I read, i'm gonna in my defense, all I read was was, how do you pronounce, and then I seen Louisville and louis Louisville, and then I didn't care about anything else. There I did. I said it again. I don't care. Click doesn't care.
00:42:20
Speaker
Click don't care about you people. That's not very nice. Don't you want to follow? These are lessons that I've learned.
00:42:32
Speaker
no
00:42:35
Speaker
Oh, so many things I want to say, but I will not.
00:42:42
Speaker
Mish Huygen. Mish Huygen. So what have you been up to lately? ladying lot of work.
00:42:55
Speaker
out yeah Hanging out with the kids. Kids. Kids. we we
00:43:03
Speaker
We took the kids the other night to
Halloween Spirit and Horror Movies
00:43:05
Speaker
one of the pumpkin patches over by me. I right i have a club coming in early.
00:43:16
Speaker
Hold
00:43:20
Speaker
on. We took the kids to pumpkin patch over by where I'm at the other night. but you're Just hanging out with the kids, hanging out with Kayla, watching a lot of horror movies. Tis the season.
00:43:34
Speaker
Kayla and I have watched so many horror movies in the last almost month or month. Maybe. Yeah. we over um um Well, we've been hanging out for over a month now, right?
00:43:47
Speaker
I don't think she can hear me. hi Hanging out. Well, I mean, we've been together for almost a month. Um, but,
00:43:59
Speaker
but We really have not been apart since we met. and I think we've got like three days that we've been apart. and like This week, I leave tomorrow to go back home.
00:44:14
Speaker
and She'll be coming back Wednesday. and I'm like, are we really going to survive like Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday? got
00:44:24
Speaker
but got back a little past. yeah no I'm happy for you. You guys seem to
00:44:33
Speaker
Shut up, MoDog. MoDog. You guys watching porn? So sweet. Oh, wait. You said horror movie.
00:44:44
Speaker
Oh, you like porn? Fuck yeah, I like porn. He's about to shut down the whole fucking podcast right now. Jesus. he's about to shut down the whole fucking podcast right now but yeah ah jesus I'll be right back.
00:45:03
Speaker
That was great. Give me two minutes. That was, yeah. I didn't hear a word for you. You know what? I don't even want to say the word handle when I'm talking about this conversation.
00:45:22
Speaker
A fucking peacock kept going back to Megan from the game. And the remote's over here by itself. Nothing's touching it. No, actually, it's here now. So I had to go to YouTube. Is she She might be pushing it on her phone.
00:45:36
Speaker
No, she's not on Peacock on her phone. No, it's not. Yeah, she hasn't even seen the first making yet, have Yeah, I watched it at your house the other day. Oh, did you?
00:45:48
Speaker
Did you like it? It was all right. It was pretty good. It was better than what I thought it was going to be. ah thought going to be really dumb. yeah The second one looks more like an action movie than a horror movie.
00:45:59
Speaker
I didn't like it that much. I know
00:46:04
Speaker
what we're going to be doing later. Well, probably not until but until the end of October because ah we watched we watch so many horror movies that we don't even remember half of them at this point. We've literally put the same movies on multiple nights in a row to go to bed and because we fall asleep.
00:46:22
Speaker
That's what you call a quickie. book it wasn't even Stop it. I'm not that quick.
00:46:29
Speaker
I mean, she's not that quick.
00:46:32
Speaker
ah That says something about you. It does say something about me.
Relationship Teasing
00:46:39
Speaker
She's quick. easy you said I thought you just said she's not that quick.
00:46:44
Speaker
Not as quick as it took for me to drop my camera and bring myself back up. Jesus, motherfucker. I don't care. you want to keep you you want to keep You want to keep opening the door. We had this conversation the last time we were live.
00:46:57
Speaker
You open the door for conversations that you're not ready for.
00:47:02
Speaker
Who changed my god damn back, Brittany? that What? Did you change my background? No. I haven't touched shit.
00:47:13
Speaker
Michael just finally told me that the comments that go through disappear. Dude, it's been the fucking beer thing the whole time. You know what? That's on me. That's on me. You know what? That's on me.
00:47:27
Speaker
That's on me. That's why I fucked up at the beginning. That's why I fucked up at the beginning, because... I thought I had the new like, share, subscribe as the background. And I was like, why is my camera not on? That's on me.
00:47:38
Speaker
That's on me. My bad. a Focus.
00:47:49
Speaker
You focus. I'm fucking focused. so You focus. new focus
00:47:58
Speaker
say it again yeah there we go neil patrick harris in the background is our background jesus
00:48:10
Speaker
yeah there we go a like neil patrick harris in the background is our change those it
00:48:20
Speaker
brian reolds i would say It's a GIF that Michael sent me the other day, and I was like, this is cool on the network because it says dance for me, puppet. Didn't he put that in the group chat, too?
00:48:34
Speaker
Yeah, I think he did.
00:48:38
Speaker
There's the new and improved like, share, and subscribe background that I thought I had. Yeah, I love it. You did a great job. Yeah, because I made it, because I'm awesome. No, you didn't. Yes, i did. No, you didn't.
00:48:51
Speaker
night Well, when I say I made it, I found it online, and then I put our logo on it. Really? I'm not assuming it's problem.
00:49:04
Speaker
Wait, Raven fans can't focus. I'm... Wait, I'm not... So she's ready. Bert's working on some challenges. Her therapist will help her take it easy on me. I wish I had a therapist. I definitely need one.
00:49:20
Speaker
That's what I have you guys for. You don't have to be worried about her. I'm not. I'm a pretty good catch, goddammit. yeah Ask her. She'll tell you.
00:49:31
Speaker
See, she said yes. Just make sure he doesn't roll over on top of you.
00:49:38
Speaker
Am I dying? Wow, you're going to make a fat joke? Wow, you're going to roast me so good. um Your roast is going to be a amazing. like ah did look at I'm saving this. I'm saving this. And he dies to his beard.
00:49:54
Speaker
There are so many things that I want to fucking say, but I'm saving them from using you. And i some of them are predictable, of course.
00:50:07
Speaker
You know. um but i'm just gonna get up there look back at you fucking people like a dad looks at their kids with disappointment and drop the mic and walk off the stage and then of delete the whole fucking podcast you're cool
00:50:27
Speaker
you bitches you like you you're cool but you
00:50:37
Speaker
ah Don't be a bitch about it. Come on. breathing I'll let you say some shit back to me. And I'm sure Michael probably did the same thing. He'll probably let you talk shit back you.
00:50:51
Speaker
Honestly, that would be fun. It depends on like the underground lounge if they would let us. I'm with you there, Jers. You will always be Doozy. do Doozy. Doozy. How's your M.D.?
00:51:03
Speaker
dogie houseuser m d You're boozy, how?
00:51:10
Speaker
Ask her, she'll tell you as she tries to talk to her voice. Shut up, my dog.
Personal Anecdotes and Banter
00:51:17
Speaker
My dog said, ask her, she'll tell you as she tries to speak through her bindings when I said that I was a catch.
00:51:25
Speaker
She might like that.
00:51:27
Speaker
I mean, a love chicks too. I'm sorry, what? for girl She's just learning a little, trying to be friends for 20 years. We'll go to Lions Den when you come back up and we'll get some new ones. They have that nylon replay stuff.
00:51:42
Speaker
Actually, Spencer's has it. so I can get that at Home Depot. Yeah, that's what was about to You can go to Joanne's or Michael's. Apparently my next project is building a a sex dungeon in the closet.
00:51:58
Speaker
know what? Yarn is better. I mean, I do have an under-mattress restraint system that we can try out. Oh, wait, what? An under-mattress restraint system.
00:52:08
Speaker
I used to have one of those. Never got to use it I don't know where it went. I lost it. I have one. I used it. That's what I'm trying to say. ah you don't I don't apologize. I mean, I've used a lot of things that you probably haven't.
00:52:24
Speaker
Why is she on camera after she's talking? She don't want to be on camera. Oh, no. She's not the... we've We've talked about that because she doesn't have that... What did you You don't have that personality that... don't have that outgoing personality. I can sit here and make comments, but don't put me on stream.
00:52:45
Speaker
No, I didn't lose a mattress jersey.
00:52:52
Speaker
Under mattress restraints is what we were talking about. There's restraints that go under between your mattress and box springs, and you can literally just pull them out and do what you need to do with them.
00:53:05
Speaker
I didn't lose. I still have my mattress.
00:53:10
Speaker
I've lost a mattress before it flew off the top of the truck. Mandy said, just don't feed them after midnight. late. Too late, Jersey. I was telling MoDog to get in here.
00:53:23
Speaker
Or else I'm going to leave.
00:53:28
Speaker
ah sta where it went no no just get your ass in here dude what i was telling me on to get in here also'm goingnna leave ah your ass okay shucks oh wait hold on second oh no please don't go i'll be so lost if you're not here and know well
00:53:53
Speaker
finally can run the show like i want to we're gonna do a we're gonna do a britney sucks campaign oh dogs those i don't I don't know where it went. Translation.
00:54:09
Speaker
The cops confiscated in the raid. i already have a Britney sucks campaign. ela had her way I would have a Fifty Shades of Glick ah room in my house.
00:54:20
Speaker
Fucking amazing. Fucking amazing.
00:54:27
Speaker
We know, Jersey. It's okay. We got you. We got you, girl. but I got you, Jersey. I can't believe I sat through that.
00:54:37
Speaker
but i want to have britney doesn't suck i'm just messing with her see i get gladly take the abuse from britney and michael oh oh he's got him oh yeah that's oh in and enhanced yeah yeah that's any who's i will gladly take the abuse from michael and and britney because i abuse these guys all the time on the network or on the shows that we're on however
00:55:04
Speaker
i don't know I don't know how to react. like I'll be fine with strangers busting my balls. It's whatever. i don't care. don't think there's going to be strangers. Huh? I don't think strangers are going to roast Are you the only ones that are going to roast me? Because Michael said that the other comedians that were going to be there were going to roast me as well.
00:55:23
Speaker
i Do you not know them? Robin? Well, I think you'll get to meet them on here yeah like beforehand, but I'm not sure.
00:55:35
Speaker
but on It's definitely me and Michael, for sure. Yeah, you and Michael, I don't care, because I bust your guys' balls so much, as it is. Yeah.
Comedy Aspirations and Support
00:55:47
Speaker
ah if How's the thirst trap game going these days?
00:55:52
Speaker
I'm still a thirst trap. I was actually encouraged to do a thirst trap with my ghost face mask. So suck it, MoDog. I just haven't done it yet.
00:56:03
Speaker
ah
00:56:06
Speaker
i You know what? And I thought about it.
00:56:11
Speaker
i mean, it's at the house. We'll have it all year round. It's not going anywhere. Can somebody else come in here? Please. You opened it. Huh? ah please
00:56:22
Speaker
opened it ah you You open it.
00:56:31
Speaker
You open it. What up, my dog? What up with you, homie? What up, dude? Chris, if you go to Walmart tonight, for the love of God, if you can find me 16-ounce Miller Lights, I will love you forever, bro.
00:56:46
Speaker
but Because apparently this town is anti-16-ounce Miller Lights.
00:56:54
Speaker
doing now What right now with your... but I got to get ready. I got to go get me a couple beers. Okay, you want to play a song and take a break?
00:57:05
Speaker
Yeah, I'll just set it on counter. I just want one I've got the Pittsburgh Penguins. I have to pee, so do you want to just play song? I can run this while you're gone. Easy, Gremlin.
00:57:17
Speaker
i opposite easy gremlin
00:57:24
Speaker
You sure you can handle it? um I'll do my best. I don't know. I don't know if I should be left unsupervised.
00:57:37
Speaker
Thank you, baby. and i am I'm going to go use the restroom and take a little smoke.
00:57:49
Speaker
She'll be back. For a nickel. She'll suckle your pickle. Maybe. I and so and need a fucking nickel. Brooke bitch in building.
00:58:02
Speaker
Oh, well, I guess you don't need anything. She left without answering your question. Hey, hey, do I need anything? need a toilet. He said, said, I went to Walmart tonight and he asked if you needed anything because he always asked me a toilet.
00:58:17
Speaker
That's right. is him. Do I need anything? Oh, my gosh. This was our thing, Chris Technician. i don't know how I feel about you getting everybody else stuff. Hell, yeah. i Don't forget the usual technician.
00:58:34
Speaker
I need toilet paper. It's not abusive. This is true. This is what I'm learning. It's not abusive if you like it. um That's what I'm learning. I'm good.
00:58:45
Speaker
I'm good. Thank you, though. Whatever you think pops out at you that screams Britney, bitch. Pick it up. Apparently it depends because she's about to piss her pants.
00:59:00
Speaker
That's good. That's good. That's why I'm funny. You and Michael are good one for me.
00:59:12
Speaker
You can look at me like that all you want. I don't care. You know it's the truth.
00:59:18
Speaker
What does old lady's vagina smell like? you You're a fucking Walmart slore, Chris. Just putting your Walmart goodies out there for everybody.
00:59:33
Speaker
Chris Technician. Thank you. Use some leaves. Yeah, use some leaves. Dude, I have a pile of leaves in my fucking room.
00:59:44
Speaker
All the pretty ones that I've been finding. Yeah. You're a mess. Well, I'm going to make something out of it. and so Mandy, bitch, let's go.
00:59:55
Speaker
Do you still have your dead locusts? Yes, I do. One fell into my wheel well, though, and I feel like it's burning up in there. It's burning in the fires of hell?
01:00:09
Speaker
I can't get it. It fell in like underneath the leather of like my wheel well, and i highhomo will three we hold on a second your wheel wheel like in my car oh you're okay okay okay i thought you were talking about your tire i'm like not old leather on your tire no no like right because i had it like next to my speedometer and'm like the wind blew it and it went down to the thing and i was trying to catch it but then i accidentally like pushed it under the leather
01:00:44
Speaker
into the thing and now I can't get it. So I think it's like burning up ah up. You've done chopped it into a million pieces. it's I mean, it was dead already. You're not a very good dead.
01:00:58
Speaker
go i still have the other one. I found the other one. and You know what? you know what I got three kids. If one of them die, I can be like, yeah two out of three ain't bad. Exactly. Two out of three ain't bad. You get it.
01:01:15
Speaker
I'm glad you get it. I'm going to pity myself. I'll be right back. Hey, Andy. Good to see you. For everybody who's listening, I know my words like to get twisted. All three of my kids are alive and well.
01:01:30
Speaker
Yeah, you better make that clear because you never know. Especially with these babies. I did check out my oldest one because I hadn't talked to her for about a week and a half and I messaged her the other day. i was like, are you still fucking alive?
01:01:43
Speaker
Like, what's going on? Now, mind you, my oldest is. So, you know, but she's like, yep, just got done and being sick. I finally got my voice back. that i don't know I'm like, oh, cool. Well, you're alive. That's all that matters.
01:01:55
Speaker
What's going on, man? Yeah. Not too much. Just watching the game. and the old old sister has joined the panel.
01:02:07
Speaker
I got your old right here, Glick.
01:02:13
Speaker
In fact, you know what? I got your old right here. Here's a feather because you're not worth the whole fucking bird right now. oh wow. That's cool.
01:02:24
Speaker
I kind of just got to address Jersey real quick. I love this. Chris is going to the slore. Chris is the slore. Slore store. Slore store.
01:02:34
Speaker
up, Chris. USMC. Howdy. I don't think they say howdy. like shut up chris <unk>
01:02:43
Speaker
many u m a u s m c howdy i think i don't think i say how Ramesha and Albert be like, look at my pile of brown deadly.
01:03:05
Speaker
she oh
01:03:10
Speaker
i can't wait i can't under good conscience on new year's eve roast her back Oh shit, she's back. Stop on um talking about her, guys. I've been hearing the whole motherfucking time, by the way.
01:03:22
Speaker
The whole fucking time. i had you, Brittany. She totally had your back. She was sitting there the whole I got my own back.
01:03:35
Speaker
I might be small, but we're good. Thank you, Mandy, though. Appreciate you. Much love. I love you too, girl. Sorry, I'm not to drop drinks right now.
01:03:46
Speaker
Yeah, don't do that. you Don't do that. yeah Yeah. I want to save some of the fucking roast right now to him. So fucking bad.
01:03:58
Speaker
But I am saving it for New Year's Eve. Right? mooc I was kind of thinking the same thing. I was waiting for like Ghostface or Michael Myers. What's wrong with that?
01:04:11
Speaker
ah Phone rings. She's just getting tied up in the closet for later. Y'all ain't the girl alone. a it's clean. It's clean. Oh, hey, Brie. Welcome back.
01:04:28
Speaker
Hey, thanks. Sorry, I had to go middle. All in your business. Sit his ass down and get a real fucking quarter. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I'm going to smoke too, but y'all were talking shit, so I ran back real quick. Aw, you rushed and you dribbled down your leg. Gross.
01:04:55
Speaker
Aw, look at your baby. She is a jealous, spoiled little... Yeah, you heard what i said.
01:05:09
Speaker
This is Kayla's cat that has just completely claimed me. but She has claimed me and she is jealous.
01:05:23
Speaker
And when Kayla and I are hanging out here, she will put herself right in between us.
01:05:32
Speaker
Well, if you're old enough to know that pussies always like to hang with each other. on she makes sure that she puts herself right between us with her back to Kayla as she will look back and give her dirty looks and everything else.
01:05:48
Speaker
Like, he's mine. That's like my roommate's dog. He'll just be like side-eyeing him the whole time. Ring, ring, ring.
01:06:00
Speaker
Shut up. Hey. Ryan Jersey. I hate all of you. and good but but the grand jersey
01:06:10
Speaker
hate all of you power
01:06:16
Speaker
a fucking mountain lion. She said that's a fucking mountain lion, bro.
01:06:28
Speaker
Pussy power. It's puppy power, you weird. The shelter said it was a cat. know You are spoiled.
01:06:44
Speaker
Spoiled kitty. What was the kitty's name? Curdle.
01:06:51
Speaker
Curdle? and Where did that come from? Like your stomach is curdling or like the milk is curdling? That is such a... Like with a Z?
01:07:03
Speaker
Turtle. and With a T-L. Fun creature. um Yes, it is curdled. Like curdling, like curdled milk. I was like,
01:07:21
Speaker
Use your ear holes. God gave them to you to listen. um You know I'm hard of hearing, dude. That's why I told you to listen to everybody. but word god I don't have it. I lost it.
01:07:34
Speaker
Every time I'm on a show with you, I learn about some other mental or health issue that you have. Uh-huh. Brittany may be young, but she's fucking falling apart like she's 10 years older than me.
01:07:48
Speaker
We're going to take you out to a back pasture and put you down. Please? Make it great. As long as I'm next to a cow. I love these cows.
01:08:02
Speaker
didn canno i be okay oh only works doing I bet you do like the Beast, Brittany. Babe, that only works during scissoring and clip-piercing. I do like the Beast. I don't... Is that like the Wonder Twins? modo um but I'm gonna be right over here. I can still hear you motherfuckers.
01:08:34
Speaker
Turtle, turtle, turtle, myrtle. Am I not turtle enough for the turtle? Oh, you would know that. Apparently, yeah. Texas one. Pussy powers.
01:08:44
Speaker
When our pussy powers combine. Oh, my. My. pussy powers when our pussy bows comine
01:08:54
Speaker
um first mo Are we having a Thundercats moment except with the pussy? Jedi! What's going on, dude?
01:09:07
Speaker
I missed you, Jedi. I wore your hat tonight. It's for you, buddy. Jedi! Step up! I would have to go look for them.
01:09:20
Speaker
Five hours later. Hey, Chris. Jedi!
01:09:28
Speaker
ah Yeah, I'll have to go look and check them out, man. I'm not on there very often. I need to get out more often. I swear they need to get rid of his ass.
01:09:40
Speaker
nothing Potty mouth? but I'm bitching about Vernon Kelly and Garrett Musmar. They're pissing me off, okay? Deal with it.
01:09:52
Speaker
Kelly's your guys' his coach, isn't he? For now. Good luck with that. He was our coach, too, once upon a bo time, and he was ass.
01:10:03
Speaker
And while they are still letting Garrett Nussmeyer be the quarterback when he's injured and has no fucking follow-through, it's beyond me.
01:10:16
Speaker
How yeah ah he keeps getting head coaching positions in college football is mind-boggling. Oh, to me too.
01:10:27
Speaker
and like Because he left Michigan and he went to something that nobody ever heard of and he was good there. And then like Oregon was like, oh shit, we should hire Brian Kelly. And then he goes to um Oregon and then they turn into dog shit. Now you guys have him.
01:10:41
Speaker
So congratulations.
01:10:45
Speaker
I know the struggle. It's real. Brian Kelly's in jail. And they're talking about they they have been weighing hard whether or not it's the worth the buyout in his contract. And I'm like, it's worth it.
01:10:59
Speaker
Get rid of him. We were before we came on here tonight, they were doing the pre-show for Michigan, Michigan State. And they were showing like there's been seven head coaches fired.
01:11:13
Speaker
Florida, Oregon, Mississippi State, Penn State, you like no our schools that they've fired already this season.
01:11:25
Speaker
reading
01:11:28
Speaker
Kind of crazy. I think South Carolina got rid of their coach too, didn't they? The other schools. I can't. You can. You can if you try. Okay.
01:11:42
Speaker
yeah know my to My neighbors downstairs are bumping hard. All right, guys, I got to say goodbye. The weather's getting nasty here and it's going to start messing with my connections.
01:11:56
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like assholes. Everyone has one and yours needs
01:12:07
Speaker
Jersey, is it sad or a good thing that Saturday good night date night hashtag modalk because that might be the longest hashtag in the history of eggs you need to get tutored by jenna
01:12:26
Speaker
like that by jedi is sad a good thing our saturday night our saturday date night are spent here on the glick at brit yeah hour am I just fucking read that.
01:12:43
Speaker
What? ah just read that. Well, was rereading it for Kayla. I don't know. Sorry, I didn't know that. My bad. You think I'm over here just talking to myself?
01:12:56
Speaker
I just thought you didn't hear me. you know Say that, Andrea. Just don't listen.
01:13:06
Speaker
Love you, too. Sometimes there's a part of my brain that clicks off. And it's usually when I speak. Thank you for finishing that for me.
01:13:17
Speaker
I don't feel like such an asshole. That's cool. We'd make we'd make great great great tennis duo because I set it up and you serve it.
01:13:33
Speaker
Oh, I get out of that. Huh? even when it Even when it says, see, that's how I'm going to roast you. I'm just going to set them up and then you're going to serve them. That's how I'll roast you.
01:13:44
Speaker
Okay, I forget. I don't really actually give a shit. going to revolutionize the roast. Yeah, if if we do like a back and forth like roast thing, I wouldn't be mad at it.
01:14:00
Speaker
don't give fuck. I appreciate you, Chris. You feeling any better? brett let him go just practicing that's a good thing shut up it's because i've been hanging out with you eating the goddamn purple crowns where's the heart where's the heart clicked on that's actually dude did i get your fucking ass in here you motherfucker it's amazing that was
01:14:35
Speaker
dude <unk> i'm starring that shit i'm starring that shit what city are you starring starring it's funny as don't think no i don't think so is it already half time no i' no i don't think is it already halftime that i and now yeah Like I said.
01:15:08
Speaker
I don't know something happened. ah Yeah, that's kind of weird.
01:15:14
Speaker
Are you just starring comments over here, Britt? Two of them, yes, because they were brilliant.
01:15:22
Speaker
oh
01:15:27
Speaker
Brittany, that was me. That wasn't in your house. Yeah.
01:15:33
Speaker
oh okay i i vouched you were like but it
01:15:43
Speaker
good into the first oh hey that's it's it's only the second quarter yeah i know it's not halftime yeah how many minutes left of the half court the second the second quarter just started yeah that was the longest halftime break ever hey
01:16:07
Speaker
Brittany's trying to sound tough and and hard. It's like one of those little troll dolls with the spiky hair yelling at you. What? I don't know. I look at trolls totally different. You're saying that, but M-Dog, what the fuck?
01:16:27
Speaker
now that now I look at troll dolls so differently now that they had the troll movies and Justin Timberlake was one of them and they're like singing and dancing and everything. I'm like, these dolls used to be kind of creepy.
01:16:38
Speaker
Now, not so much. Brittany trying to sound tough and hard is like one of those little troll dolls with spiky hair yelling. Did she not hear you? No. see she not hear you no i She probably did. She just doesn't.
01:16:52
Speaker
No, I did. i just I'm trying to like process this. ah She's like, dial up in her internet.
01:17:03
Speaker
don't understand dial up internet. It's Brittany in a nutshell. It's dial up internet. Fuck you. Look this. This is just gold. This is just gold that just pops into my head.
01:17:16
Speaker
That's how I roll. um'm like ah I'm like a freestyle rapper in a rap battle, and you assholes think you want to roast me. Yeah, that's going to happen. know what? I'm going to cut fucking deep, dude.
01:17:32
Speaker
I'm going to do some research. I'm going to do some research. I've already said on podcasts. on podcast
01:17:43
Speaker
You're just going to walk away you go too far. Unplug everything. oh well you ah will do that. i'll paul didn so um I'll pull a Denzel Washington in training day.
01:17:59
Speaker
I won't go too far. ain't got shit on me. Okay, we don't have shit on you. You bitches going to be in Pelican Bay.
01:18:10
Speaker
King Kong ain't got shit on me. You've never seen Training Day, have you? In the past? Yeah, they have. But in the past? But again, everything's already been aired out online. I don't, I'm an open book.
01:18:23
Speaker
So everything you guys can say on me has already been online. Oh, dude. Man. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. For real, dude. Yeah, dude. Fuck you. Dude. Dude. Dude.
01:18:37
Speaker
that's you
01:18:41
Speaker
You have mail.
01:18:44
Speaker
Yay! I got mail. You have mail, bro. Yay. No, I'm not nervous about it. don't care. I'm actually excited for it. And here's the reason why I'm excited for it.
01:18:55
Speaker
Because we've tried to do roasts on this show. On this show. And it's been they've been epic failures because people are stupid. I think it's different in person, though.
01:19:09
Speaker
No, no, be no, nobody. That's what I said. I'm excited for it because I've, I've put myself up there as a sacrifice multiple times. And, and, and then when it comes down to it, people are stupid.
01:19:21
Speaker
And then I just spend two hours roasting everybody on the panel and there was no roast to click. So I do the same thing I do every Saturday night with the panel. I was thinking like, what if we all just like roasted each other, just back and forth.
01:19:39
Speaker
yeah mean I don't know. Run it by Michael. i don't care don't care. I mean, it's mainly about you, but... It's always about me because I'm Glick and it's Glick's world and you bitches just... That's why I wanna... You think you're gonna knock me down a peg?
01:20:00
Speaker
An open book with misspelled words. Shut up, lazy. Look, usually when you text me, it's in the middle of a show and I've been drinking, so don't judge my spelling and my grammar.
01:20:13
Speaker
A lot pages. An open book, but a lot of the pages are stuck together. so Don't.
01:20:25
Speaker
What are you doing, turtle? I think she's trying to murder you, baby. Turtle. i lucky Stop it. I actually like that same That's really cute.
01:20:39
Speaker
We are both right. and Look at you two. Look at everybody coming together in the comments. yeah Jedi and Modog coming together in the comments. Shocking. Well, they need to get out of the fucking comments and come up into this bitch.
01:20:54
Speaker
That's what she said. I mean, maybe. I didn't mean to, but I said it.
01:21:04
Speaker
It happened.
01:21:08
Speaker
But yes. Or are you trying to get off here soon? Me? yeah No, I'm doing a show tonight.
01:21:18
Speaker
Kayla and I talked about that. she was She's cool with it. She might pass out, but I was like, eh.
01:21:27
Speaker
She's still there with you. I'm happy for you, dude. You seem like you're happy.
01:21:34
Speaker
I'm just saying it smells good. I know, but really need check Well, it's a good thing we've got some. I'm happy for us, too. I like her voice. You like her voice.
01:21:45
Speaker
like her voice, too. like everything about her. Aw. No, I'm going glad for you. Even though it's taking you away from us a little bit, it's fine.
01:21:59
Speaker
know she has No, she hasn't been. ah Well, last Saturday, but... Slightly, but that's okay. We all needed it a free-to-break.
01:22:09
Speaker
We didn't get... Glick, I don't like your face. What? I a beautiful song. Come together?
01:22:20
Speaker
Glick, shut up, Wally. oh I don't like your fucking face, Wally. going to make you cry. I'm going make you cry.
01:22:29
Speaker
Gotta make you tap out. Oh, God. Oh, I just had the worst image in my brain.
01:22:37
Speaker
What? Finish the rest of the lyrics of the right now. That's all you need to know. on her face. Over me.
01:22:53
Speaker
Jesus Christ. Join the club, buddy. I love you. You know I love you. don't like Well, you're dope. Facism.
01:23:04
Speaker
It's called a facial. It didn't need a hashtag. It's just a facial. Never mind. Go ahead. Open that door. I dare you.
01:23:16
Speaker
Go ahead and do it. Open the door. on, Rudy. That's good for your face. One time at church camp.
01:23:27
Speaker
Oh, wow.
01:23:30
Speaker
I can't ah release it because it is part of my bed. I have a church camp. Was that English? I have a church camp joke.
01:23:42
Speaker
A part of my bed for the comedy standup thing. It involved blowjobs and milkshakes.
01:23:49
Speaker
No. Brittany went to church camp and you know, the back in the day, how you would pass the notes and do you like me check yes or no? She got a note at church camp from a guy that said, will you give me a blowjob check? And her friend dumped a milkshake on his head. In the prayer garden.
01:24:07
Speaker
In the prayer garden. I was like... And it was on a bible a piece of a Bible ripped out. She should have been expelled from church camp. She was a little church camp slur. How do you get... Stop stealing my word, first of all, you motherfucker. thought you were little che church camp sloot.
01:24:26
Speaker
And also, how do you get expelled from church camp? For doing non-church things. I didn't do
01:24:37
Speaker
I did smoke. Yeah, I see the guy, and he got smited by God and was struck by lightning. you Oh my God, you're the worst. See, that did happen.
01:24:49
Speaker
and Were you making up stories? Brittany was a guest one time on, what do we do, Wednesday together? You were just a guest, and it was like Brittany's world, and it just went oh so far off the rails. I'm going to have to look back at that, just so maybe it'll help my stand-up shit.
01:25:09
Speaker
she so She started the story of how she lost her virginity with, I lost my virginity and my dad, and I went, what the fuck? but but I was like, Jesus Christ, Brittany. And she's like, no, no, no, no.
01:25:30
Speaker
I'm not the best at telling stories all the time, so I'm getting i'm getting better, okay? So this stand-up acts on the ears, it should be good. It should go good, yeah. yeah nothing Nothing racial about a facial.
01:25:46
Speaker
Oh, I'm making your hashtags around. You get exorcised from church. Jed, I said you don't get expelled. You get exorcised. No, I don't know I was talking about it. No, I'm saving it for New Year's Eve. I believe it. I would have burst into flames the second I walked in. I believe it.
01:26:03
Speaker
My grandfather was a pastor, so... Your uncle was a drunk pilot that crashed into the house. He was dead before I met him, so...
01:26:14
Speaker
The Britney stories are great. and you learned so much and She was just a guest ah that night. She came on. It was just me. well no i met I met you from ah Rick from Call of Duty.
01:26:29
Speaker
Little Dick Rick.
01:26:32
Speaker
Big belly bit. I haven't talked to him in a while, but yeah, he's the one that introduced me to y'all. Yeah, fucking Rick.
01:26:46
Speaker
What is his football team winning? I don't know if I'll ever forgive him for that.
01:26:53
Speaker
fucking knew it. I fucking knew it. I used
01:27:01
Speaker
to be people's. We got to the sports show tomorrow night. We haven't done it for the last two weeks. That's what I was saying. was on Wednesday when...
01:27:12
Speaker
Michael and I did that. i was like I was wondering if you were doing that or not. Yeah, I gotta go piss. I gotta recycle some beer. No, I was i actually fully 100% intended on doing it last Sunday.
01:27:23
Speaker
Stop them! Stop them! What the hell? Hey, no, it's Brittany. You're another chapter. my Get it right, Lazy Jedi.
01:27:37
Speaker
Rick Knee. It's Britt-knee. Brittany. The curse. I have the tattoo to prove it. Where where?
01:27:50
Speaker
Above my company.
Weight Loss and Humor
01:27:52
Speaker
You go Brittany. Get it. Get it. Get it. And nobody will.
01:28:01
Speaker
Brittany. Brittany. I lost a little bit of weight. So it's a little lower than it used to You should probably stop doing that. Yeah, probably. You keep ball losing weight, man. Some high school's going to hang you up in their biology class.
01:28:16
Speaker
Yeah. How about it? She's like, I don't understand it. I don't get it. Just numbing first.
01:28:28
Speaker
Numbing's for pussies.
01:28:33
Speaker
Okay, just fucking do it. Bring me Brittany to her own devices because I'm going to go touch myself. I mean, take a piss. That's fine. Take a break. You want to play it?
01:28:45
Speaker
You'll take breaks on Saturday night. Okay, then I'll take fucking control. I don't even know what the fuck they'll talk. You squeezing booties? Biology.
01:28:58
Speaker
Biology. Shut up, Jedi. I already knew that game of Jedi without even seeing it. If you don't get your fucking ass in here, I am going to kill you.
01:29:12
Speaker
Oh, Wally, I'll be back. Don't worry. Don't you like
01:29:19
Speaker
No, I took AP Human Anatomy. Thank you very much.
01:29:25
Speaker
And my teacher did let me cheat a little bit.
Roasting Glick
01:29:33
Speaker
My next tattoo that I want to get, I don't know if I want to tell you, I don't want to steal it. um I want to get Slapper. Right underneath this me. So that's like these.
01:29:49
Speaker
Kick, click and run in the show. Let's
01:29:56
Speaker
do this.
01:30:01
Speaker
and then let's do this
01:30:12
Speaker
I'm running the show.
01:30:16
Speaker
That was seven. All right, if anybody has any jokes about Glick, DM them to me. I'm going to roast some extra hard, since you guys are... Hopefully, you guys want to come up on YouTube, that'd be cool. Find some tickets.
01:30:33
Speaker
Maybe you can roast Glick with us.
01:30:38
Speaker
I'm in the driver's seat now, bitch.
01:30:45
Speaker
We don't take breaks on Saturday nights. I was like steps away for a break. ah yeah Told you guys. bit
01:30:58
Speaker
You had a bottle right there. could have pissed in.
01:31:02
Speaker
It's fucking full, you skank. The other one was upside down that you finished. Yeah, four. Hole's too small. My dick won't fit in it. Ew, I don't.
01:31:14
Speaker
not in my living also i would have needed a lot more than one bottle was a okay when you drink beer you gotta feel that okay yes it's called recycling britney okay hey don't i was in charge mother fucker
New Year's Eve with Friends
01:31:40
Speaker
was You wasn't.
01:31:44
Speaker
Now you're not. I removed you and they said put you down and run the show. Kick, click, and run the show. So I got up and I ran in place and in a circle.
01:31:56
Speaker
Yeah, Wally, you're talking a real big game to tonight when I'm an hour and a half away. Two hours away. bet you won't talk that shit to my face. Yeah, I will, bitch. I wasn't talking to you. i was talking to Wally.
01:32:09
Speaker
Oh. Still I will too. You whore-ish skanks. I'm going to bring an extra small trash can in and a 5X trash can.
01:32:23
Speaker
I'm hoping to get Wally and his wife up there for New Year's Eve. Oh yeah, that'd be cool. That'd be awesome. That'd be awesome we get up there.
01:32:36
Speaker
Hell yeah. yeah um I have Friends in New York that might be buying tickets to come as well. We should get some of your people to come up.
01:32:51
Speaker
You need to get Kristen T-Bone to come up. And then some of my Baltimore friends. I'll get pregnant kids. No, wait, wait. don't have babysit them.
01:33:02
Speaker
no you wait wait You have to
01:33:07
Speaker
yes you could I'll babysit you. We babysit each other. Yeah, that's turn out well. It's going to turn out fantastic. It's going to turn out. You get me to keep my mouth shut then. What?
01:33:18
Speaker
You get me to keep my mouth shut then. Okay. You said that you'll shut up for me. For you, not for everybody else. They're jokes.
01:33:29
Speaker
She's very protective. Heads up. She's very protective.
01:33:36
Speaker
You horrid skank.
01:33:41
Speaker
I didn't do Walmart. Walmartlandia. Be careful of the Walmartians. Chris Technician. Avoid all Walmartians. ah They're the best.
01:33:54
Speaker
What's different about everyone here?
01:34:00
Speaker
It's okay. I'll just stay over here in my corner play.
01:34:06
Speaker
You're gonna stay within the lines now? Wait, I'm confused. but i Okay, that just like brought up a whole childhood memory of mine.
01:34:17
Speaker
Like when I was like five, maybe. i was like telling this kid that he needs to stay in the lines while he was coloring pants.
01:34:27
Speaker
Whoa, that's wild.
01:34:31
Speaker
The things you remember and the things that you forget. but but hashtag stoner sorry she is a genius yeah i spelled that so what she's a genius
01:34:52
Speaker
thanks i heard you the first time impress memories with brit yeah uh why do you have two t's you mother fa or It's not Britney's too much. I'm kidding. Because your name is Brittany.
01:35:12
Speaker
don't talk to me.
01:35:17
Speaker
It's Brittany, bitch.
01:35:21
Speaker
but Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is MoDog not wrenched? Who took his wrench away from him? That's what he's talking about.
01:35:31
Speaker
Do you have another profile, MoDog? Oh, his picture is... Yeah, there's two. Yeah. That's on you, bro. That's on you. That's not on us.
01:35:44
Speaker
You think you're fucking special and you get double wrenched?
01:35:51
Speaker
a
01:35:57
Speaker
I don't know what the hell I just did. I did something. i don't know what I did. This motherfucker. Shut up, MoDog. Jackass. It's been a long day, all right?
01:36:14
Speaker
Shut your whole ass up, MoDog. I don't know how to wrench people anymore. I locked myself out of the house and I had to, like, find some things to
01:36:32
Speaker
Is this even the real MoDog or is this a fake MoDog?
01:36:40
Speaker
and good all yeah Oh, I'm wrench the fuck out of Moe Dog.
01:36:48
Speaker
I don't forgot how to give people wrenches. and I don't care. You got 20 accounts. They all deserve a wrench. Is it a moderator? Is that what the wrench is?
01:37:03
Speaker
and I don't fucking know. and I don't know. I'm a moderator now.
01:37:12
Speaker
Jersey has one. I know. Everybody's got wrenches now because I got fucking yelled at one night and and I was just like, fuck it. I was like fucking Oprah of wrenches. You get a wrench. You get a wrench. Everybody gets wrench.
01:37:25
Speaker
Don't fucking know. fuck Don't yell at me. Sorry. um
01:37:37
Speaker
you the up i did click on his name it's a ghost
01:37:48
Speaker
oh there he is he's wrenched ah wrenched em like so he's got You get a wrench. It was like Oprah up in this motherfucker that night. It really was. I was getting yelled at, and then I got taught how to give wrenches out, I'm like, e but everybody's getting a wrench.
01:38:08
Speaker
Everybody. Everybody in the club. yeah talk so I was in second grade when I heard that song. I was making it rain wrenches up in this bitch.
Moderator Wrenches Humor
01:38:20
Speaker
I was just like...
01:38:26
Speaker
fucking suck it, Britt. I threw wrenches at your face. You're a gremlin. You're such a gremlin.
01:38:37
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
01:38:42
Speaker
Every time look wrenches at me, I can't. My bad. oh i mean I know you're getting up there in age and you know you're the one that said that you can't handle it. I mean,
01:38:54
Speaker
always I always have plenty of purple crayons afterwards. Oh my gosh. It's like Harold and the purple crayon. Like, that's how fucked up.
01:39:06
Speaker
Don't you worry about what Moe Dogg and I do.
01:39:10
Speaker
That is a children's book. He gets wrenched and then we snuggle and watch the notebook and eat purple crayons together. I watched the notebook the other day. Well, started it. i didn't finish it. What? Huh?
01:39:24
Speaker
hu why um she didn't She didn't hear that, MoDog. Our secret's safe. What'd you say? said I said, MoDog gets wrenched, and then we snuggle and watch The Notebook and eat purple crayons together.
01:39:36
Speaker
His voice is good enough. He's allowed to be wrenched. MoDog's voice is good enough. He's allowed to be wrenched. does have a very good voice. For sure.
01:39:51
Speaker
ah for sure Better than mine sometimes. Sorry, Jersey.
01:39:58
Speaker
I'm just kidding. Jersey. She was like, you gonna fuck with my man?
01:40:09
Speaker
Yeah.
01:40:14
Speaker
Listen here. Just videotape the the the activation of pussy powers and MoDog and I are okay. Okay.
01:40:24
Speaker
Cistering sisters, what? Let's What? Let's go. said, let's Jedi, get your ass Jedi, get your ass in. Jedi, get ass Jedi, get your in. Jedi, get your ass in. Jedi, get your ass Jedi, your get your ass in. Jedi, get ass in. Jedi, get ass in. get ass get ass in. Jedi, get your ass in. Jedi, get ass in. Jedi, get your ass Jedi, get your ass in.
01:40:40
Speaker
Jedi, get your in. Jedi, get your in. Jedi, get your ass in. Jedi, ass your Jedi, Jedi, get your Jedi,
01:40:50
Speaker
Jedi, get your ass Jedi, Jedi, Jedi,
01:40:59
Speaker
for what we have mo dog
01:41:04
Speaker
jersey said let's go kayla with two scissors yeah i can make you way more jealous i don't know about jealous but you're gonna make mo dog and i something but you know we have that conversation about coming together earlier but know They're going to be videotaping it on their phones.
01:41:26
Speaker
Don't mind us. We're just in opposite corners watching. It'll be a little shaky. The video will be a little shaky. odd house No, the camera's off. i promise Go ahead. record.
01:41:43
Speaker
can record It's all good. Oh, we can record. Scissoring and tipping. Okay.
01:41:49
Speaker
I don't think there's anything wrong with it. That's called docking, Moe Dog. It's not tipping, it's docking. No, wait.
01:42:00
Speaker
Let's go Kayla's way. Let's go Kayla's way hotter than let's go Brandon's. agree. setback of these Jersey put and fingers touching and then...
01:42:18
Speaker
ah ah waterter ball Waterfalls. I feel like it should be the opposite. Like the scissors together and then... and Never mind.
01:42:31
Speaker
We're not going too deep into it. Yeah, they can scissor all they want, but we could touch tips and roll our foreskin over top of it. Oh my fucking God.
01:42:44
Speaker
What is my fucking life right now?
01:43:01
Speaker
You want to see a magic trick I'm going to make his mushroom hem disappear. Stop!
01:43:11
Speaker
We all learned something about you tonight. I'll have it you, Caleb. Welcome to the new debauchery network. Leave your pants at the door.
01:43:26
Speaker
Don't forget. Oh, my God. Hold on a second. Uh... no i gotta drop a star on that but i also am going to i'm going to create a logo for that where is my i'm going to create a logo for that there we go but okay everybody do not forget to subscribe yeah about hok shit all my fucking god like shut the fuck up
01:44:06
Speaker
we don't kink shame on the nonsensical network no no no not at all I'm just like I'm at a loss for words oh here comes the buzzkill fuckbase buzzkill Should I take off my pants and jacket? Nope.
01:44:29
Speaker
Should I take off my pants jacket? Your mic is like, it up, man. Bye, Michael. Hi, Michael. Bye, Michael.
01:44:41
Speaker
hey here your mike is like fuck
01:44:48
Speaker
je bye michael hi michael by my Oh, Lord have mercy. I don't even. he Hey, welcome to hell.
01:44:59
Speaker
Fancy seeing you guys here. Come here often.
01:45:06
Speaker
Is it better? You good? There we go. Now we're good. Hey, hey, hey, hey. oh Oh, my God. I know. Can we stop talking about the force? You 100% envisioned it.
01:45:26
Speaker
Oh, right over that right over the German helmet. Where'd Michael go? Goddamn. Don't act like it hasn't happened already, MoDog.
01:45:42
Speaker
He's all trying to play coy over there. like Whatever, i threw up in my mouth a little bit. rooms Since you came in, this is for you. Oh, there we go. The good stuff. Since you came in, this is for you.
01:45:55
Speaker
i look. It's like your artistic hands are fighting with each other. It's cerebral palsy. Save it the roast. Dude, yes get right
01:46:08
Speaker
save it for the rope and you i I would love to be there. I got my nails done today, right? And like my leg fell asleep and I went to stand up and I was walking. I had cerebral palsy.
01:46:25
Speaker
was just like, what the fuck is going on? You're doing that crip walk. I was dude. I like looked down at my leg and I was like, what? Like,
01:46:39
Speaker
half of my foot, like I couldn't even feel it. It looked so stupid. That's funny as fuck. Yeah, I know. People were looking at me and like laughing at me. I'm like, oh, my foot fell asleep. like but You can play it out. you just like My treads went to my leg for a minute. Calm down, everyone. Well, their feet, I mean, certainly didn't really understand that, so.
01:47:06
Speaker
Your legs are Vietnamese? but no What? Yeah, I got them in Vietnam. You got legs.
01:47:19
Speaker
She does math with her toes. okay I got Lieutenant Dan's legs. Oh, fuck, that's funny. Your legs are Vietnamese.
01:47:31
Speaker
You got Kong legs, Brittany. That's amazing. but You ain't got no legs. Because I fucking got a bitch. The Halloween party must be going fantastic if you're hanging out with us.
01:47:48
Speaker
i couldt I came out to roll a smoke.
01:47:57
Speaker
Are you smoking crack, Michael? Well, yeah. He's Freebasing. He's Freebasing. Well, yeah. I am not a Freemason.
01:48:09
Speaker
amazing
01:48:15
Speaker
Freebasing like a Freemason, though.
01:48:19
Speaker
Speaking of Freebase,
Family Dynamics Jokes
01:48:20
Speaker
how about that Richard Pryor on Live on the Sunset Strip, huh? Yeah. 1981. Well,
01:48:27
Speaker
nineteen eighty one oh
01:48:33
Speaker
Never too early to start yourself on fire. Peter the pumpkin eater. Fucking loser. Sue is the pumpkin shit deal. Oh, that's hot. I like that. yeah No, no. You don't get to get on the team now. Fuck you.
01:48:49
Speaker
it Fucking early adopters only.
01:48:57
Speaker
Michigan losing? No, I don't think so. Not too bad.
01:49:04
Speaker
I don't give a damn about the whole stairs. That's why your mom's a whore. Whoa, that came out of left field. it's No, it didn't. She knows my mom.
01:49:16
Speaker
but She disappeared 20 minutes. Came back in the fucking way. Hold her around his arm. I'll show you all the doll. All the places his mom touched me.
01:49:29
Speaker
Yeah. His mom is actually really cool. I like her. and not yeah I got to meet his mom very briefly. My mom is an evil racist. This is Glick.
01:49:40
Speaker
Glick, Michael's mom. and And she molested me and I was on my way. Hey, Glick, send me your number. I'd like to be Michael's stepdad.
01:49:52
Speaker
I got you. I don't believe in steps. Your family, your family. There's no steps. okay but i'll be here I'll be your escalator, dad. I don't give a shit. You're you're a bonus, dad. But can you be my uncle daddy?
01:50:05
Speaker
is there a Hashtag. Hashtag. Yes, I know you can't. I don't know you can't because I am uncle daddy. You know, Brittany, this is hashtag family business. oh you're uncle happy daddy now.
01:50:19
Speaker
You're happy daddy now. You have to have a hashtag in front of it, though, because you're a master. Grandpa Michael in the building, y'all. Yeah, my Uncle Grandpa. Come, Mark.
01:50:32
Speaker
Roll Tide. How are
01:50:38
Speaker
ah you doing, Glick? I'm doing, man. are you doing? I really didn't care, but thanks for answering.
01:50:49
Speaker
God, I hope I get your face on fire when you wake up the pipe. The eyeballs. update Burn, motherfucker, burn. I want you to look up.
01:51:02
Speaker
We don't need no water. Let Michael fucking burn. He's going to jack your lantern, bro. You better watch out. oh Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:51:13
Speaker
We don't need that kind of talk on here. so but This is a family program. family All in the family. yeah Michael pops up on the screen all looking like Mr. Meiser, the troll boss from Old Frost to the Snowman.
01:51:36
Speaker
My dog says that.
01:51:39
Speaker
Oh
Brittany's Comedy Show Excitement
01:51:40
Speaker
my God. Hey everybody, got an an announcement to make. New Year's Eve, downtown Warren, Ohio. The B.S. on the ground lounge.
01:51:51
Speaker
The debut of Brittany for her first real comedy show. youer that I'm fucking pumped. so He's going to make you laugh or I'm going to cut her.
01:52:03
Speaker
Oh, that explains a lot. Makes sense.
01:52:10
Speaker
Oh, I missed that. and it's So it's me. How many? Sonati, right? Right.
01:52:20
Speaker
Then you. and i I'm opening the show because I'm your host. right I'll introduce, I'll warm the crowd up and I'll introduce you. No, oh no, no. You're going to go out there and slay.
01:52:32
Speaker
i' going to do a few more minutes and I'm going to bring up Sonati. And then I'm going to do a few more minutes and I'm going to bring out the 2025 World Series of Comedy winner, Robert Coleman Jr. I'm super pumped.
01:52:45
Speaker
And then then we're going to fucking roast the motherfucking shit out of it. Yeah. Mute that motherfucker. You got power. Mute that motherfucker.
01:53:04
Speaker
No one wants to hear him be tender with that is
01:53:08
Speaker
bitch. We are going to roast the fuck out of that motherfucker. It's going but to be like every other Saturday I show up.
01:53:19
Speaker
Glick leaving in good i remember Remember that first fucking Saturday we met? And I fucked him up so bad he had to walk away. You remember that shit, don't you?
01:53:34
Speaker
I don't remember lot. I have very bad trick for me. No one wants to hear you be tender with Kayla. Fuck face. Mute that shit. Yeah. conversation no I leave in tears every Saturday i night when Michael's here because much like poor Sue, I'm left disappointed in doing it on my own.
01:53:57
Speaker
It's like this. It's like this. fair about it. I whisper in her ear, all right, the race is on. May the odds be ever in your favor. It's not my fault. i win for I win. I win that race every time.
01:54:11
Speaker
i cross so They're married. so like Hashtag winning. Winning. The race of who finishes first. that's say I said it right over us. No, they're gone. is spot on.
01:54:29
Speaker
MoDog's shit. up here? and Michael, Jedi doesn't remember 2 p.m. this afternoon. surprised if he doesn't. I was talking to that motherfucker until 5.55 a.m.
01:54:44
Speaker
this morning. yeah we were and What the fuck were you guys going up until 5.55? Mind your business. this Mind your goddamn business, Glick. can hold mouth when you talk to me, Michael.
01:54:55
Speaker
This is our show, Glick. What the fuck are you doing? yeah Grit laying down the shit. Apparently you assholes forgot that I'm a dictator and I have complete control over everything on the network. He is. He is. What you get when you cross Blick with a potato. A dictator.
01:55:17
Speaker
A dictaster. Wait, what? It was one time.
01:55:23
Speaker
Dictaster. And then five more times to make sure I didn't like it. 20 bucks is 20 bucks. Okay. It was like 27 times, but i I'm pretty sure I don't like it. You can't even count that high.
01:55:36
Speaker
remember I don't know, man. With 17 chromosomes, you get a lot of fingers and toes.
01:55:43
Speaker
You got that many? There you go, MoDog. He's got the right hashtag. Fucking my homies with the extra chromies up in this bitch on the panel tonight. I'm ups.
01:55:54
Speaker
I'm ups. I'm ups with the downs. yeah yeah We brought extra because we knew you didn't have enough. yeah I love you, Becca.
01:56:05
Speaker
We got default retard, Tourette's retard, and i don't know what to call Michael. it Professional retard. And you're a tater-tard. Come on, Napoleon. Give me some tauts.
01:56:20
Speaker
Come on. Give me your tauts, Napoleon. o I want some fucking tater-tauts. Share me some tauts, Napoleon.
01:56:33
Speaker
I was just about to say that. I just about to fucking say that. Yeah, but you didn't. I beat you It's like sex. I got there first. Boom.
01:56:47
Speaker
wrong
01:56:51
Speaker
I don't mind losing in that race.
01:56:54
Speaker
But you always win by accident, right? Oh, God. oh god I'm like Ricky Bobby. He ain't first or last, bitch.
01:57:06
Speaker
but You're like Quickie Bobby. Shut up, John.
01:57:15
Speaker
They're looking for you. You're up the pool. um Finally, they're probably moving people forward. They came over and said, hey, where's Peter? come again. Where's Peter?
01:57:30
Speaker
Oh my god, I was like, where the fuck did that voice come from? Say hello to Sue, everybody. What's up, Sue? I'm gonna smoke this joint and come inside, honey. He's gonna smoke this meth and he'll be inside.
01:57:44
Speaker
Put my name up for the pool table like two hours ago. No names have been erased and they've played like 17 fucking games. thought you were gonna fucking sing a song. Eventually.
01:57:56
Speaker
i Or I'm gonna get fucked up and leave one or the other. That must be a hell of a hell of a... Smokey boys. That's a fucking Army-Navy, dude. Army-Navy. don't know.
01:58:07
Speaker
I prefer Marines. Marines are more fun to party with. Hell yeah, they are. MoDog and I rub our foreskins on top of each other's mushroom heads. Oh, my fucking God. It's a great party.
01:58:19
Speaker
And we purple. Thank you. Thank you for that awkward boner. You do vegan style. You can masturbate for that, Michael. I'm so tired of hearing about y'all fucking foreskins.
01:58:34
Speaker
Just think about it. Mine's huge. It's a five-cent. Hey, Brittany is beyond meat, guys. Hashtag Jewish. No, I'm just kidding.
01:58:46
Speaker
Just think about Brittany. Tip to tip. four skin I don't. I can see it. I'm a very visual person, so I can definitely see it. So if you put foreskin to foreskin, you got weak skin. This is what I'm going to be dreaming of it on Did you know the omics don't mean?
01:59:13
Speaker
Eye to eye. Oh, did you guys read that video? These are purple crayons. At the same time. Purple tastes the best. Purple tastes the best. Did you guys see that video?
01:59:25
Speaker
The browners don't taste like chocolate. Warning. Yeah, those are crayons. What is happening with my life right now? He finds his brown crayons in the cat box.
01:59:40
Speaker
They're not crayons, bro. Crayons. They're crayons. Say it right. Crayons. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
01:59:53
Speaker
I hate you. All kinds of colors crayons. Yeah. What's popping? The booty's popping.
02:00:07
Speaker
Cool. Are you making money for it? Nah. I'm doing it for free. you know There's no more section 8 right now Usually when you pop it, I make it. I got that section hate.
02:00:20
Speaker
ah Yes, sir. parod yes I throw pennies at him. I make it hail. Yeah. He makes it hail on them hoes. I have some change.
02:00:35
Speaker
Oh, Billy. that He's going help the homeless. I don't know if it's right. oh I do something strange for a little bit of change, you know? but hu A little dollar make a holla.
02:00:48
Speaker
My hands are just cold or if it's revolting. Hey, Shaman, if we slip you a five, are you going to show your face? No, no, not today. Britt, you know your job, Britt.
02:01:02
Speaker
Britt, you know your job. Hey, they do it. alright i did Mute that hoe. Mute that hoe.
02:01:13
Speaker
Did I put it out there one time if if they donated like $1,200 to the channel? A dox or something? ah Yeah. It's worth it. weird We still don't have $1,200 yet.
02:01:26
Speaker
like Nor will you. keep fucking out now That's a good point. They all acted like it was important. so you know I said put your money where your mouth is.
02:01:37
Speaker
Damn If everybody on this panel donated a nickel right now, Brittany could get a pack of ramen noodles and eat this week. Hell let's go.
02:01:48
Speaker
noodles are more than a quarter, you dumb bastard. Where the hell are you shopping? i don't know. i don't eat ramen noodles. Last time I bought any, they were like 10 cents. Damn, that was the 90s?
02:02:01
Speaker
I'm rich, bitch. I don't eat ramen noodles. Well, I'm gluten-free, so I don't... I got money, son. I need spaghetti. I'm good. I have plenty of food. Lazy Glicks fans page doing very well these days. it is is It is. I bought a second home.
02:02:22
Speaker
Yeah. yeah like Wow. It's an even bigger box. just all All I was able to do was upgrade to Velveeta macaroni and cheese and not the Audi brand. and This motherfucker's over here buying a home.
02:02:36
Speaker
It went from a freezer box to a fucking mattress box. Yep. I bought the mattress for the box to mattress way and now I have a home.
02:02:46
Speaker
I need trucking.
02:02:50
Speaker
ah That's math right there. massive Mr. Glick. Mr. Glick, if you're nasty. Yeah. Yeah. yeah I like that. Hashtag Mr. Glick if you're I don't like it.
02:03:06
Speaker
Mrs. Glick if you're accurate. the
02:03:12
Speaker
Mrs. Glick if you're ashy. No, accurate.
02:03:19
Speaker
I mean, he might be ashy.
Wild Stories and School Memories
02:03:20
Speaker
I don't know i have ansh let me know. I'll buy you some coconut butter. Jesus Christ. I'm white and I'm a little ashy. The weather has changed so quickly. Now it's half time.
02:03:33
Speaker
You're a little ashy. I'm a lot of hunkies. Boom. Lazy is pretty ashy, too.
02:03:47
Speaker
yeah well they lazy's pretty pretty ashy too he's actually really darskin and he's just that ashley yeah butshy i am an ash okay like me i always bring penicillin with me stop complaining That's smart. that's smart I look out for you, Moe Dog.
02:04:07
Speaker
Jackass. um My fault you don't take it. I'm a Marine. I can handle it. He just puts green food coloring in his penicillin. A little gonorrhea never hurt anybody. You're goddamn right.
02:04:20
Speaker
little syphilitis. Gonosyphilitis. Gonosyphilitis. Yeah, Shaman. Shaman's on the same page. Yeah, herpocipolis.
02:04:31
Speaker
Yeah, you guys are on the same page that stuck together. I knew somebody with that when I was in school. That's when I realized that the world was really changing is when I found out about gonorrhea, cephalida, herbalase.
02:04:45
Speaker
Yep, it's I mean, it's a thing. I'm sure my whore Mexican sister had that or has that. Yeah, my um my niece's aunt had it.
02:04:59
Speaker
Wouldn't that make that your sister? know yeah Other side. on her father's side. On the father's side, and not on the mother's side. So, um... So, wait. You guys have different dads?
02:05:12
Speaker
Oh, you really are black, aren't you? Okay. My sister's baby's daddy's sister. How about that? Is that better? That makes a little bit more sense.
02:05:24
Speaker
Yeah. So, my sister's baby's daddy's sister... had caught a whole bunch of shit back when I was, man, I'm early 20s, maybe 20 years old. And, you know, she was a few years younger than me, so she was just coming out of school.
02:05:38
Speaker
That's when I realized, i am so glad I'm not in school anymore, because I definitely would have caught some shit. What the fuck did she do? Did she go to a fucking STD carnival and win every prize possible?
02:05:51
Speaker
Well, she was bisexual, so apparently she was just sweeping around or something. So she's she's got double the chance. Yeah, exactly. yeah Exactly. And then you're hanging out with people that have double the chance.
02:06:07
Speaker
You know? Isn't there a horror movie about a sexually transmitted disease? I think it's called, like, It Follows or something like that. look I'm sorry. That was Oh, dog. Yeah.
02:06:22
Speaker
oh di
02:06:26
Speaker
Jesus Christ. Next on spring. Next on spring. I'm in spanish. oh
02:06:35
Speaker
You are not the fuck. I got you. Hey, man, I appreciate you, brother. I appreciate you. Thank you for going on that Walmart run. Yeah, Chris, I can always so watch that. it was October's done.
02:06:47
Speaker
That one disguise, Casey.
02:06:51
Speaker
I don't watch that one ever.
02:06:58
Speaker
I got your goodies. She got the WAP. Unfortunately, it's the... can't read that. The scabs breaking. Oh, shit.
02:07:10
Speaker
ah Wow. Wow. See, scabs didn't even come mind. I was like, I can't be reading that right because why would we be talking about scabs? Nope. Nope. no Moe Dogg said she got the WAP. Unfortunately, it's a fucking scab. What the fuck? Holy shit.
02:07:32
Speaker
I don't like that. Is that from the yeast infection scabs? or That's from the ga herlo fucking syphilitis. Hey, look, I have
02:07:45
Speaker
my ah look i have Paco, the positive taco. ah i just bought my daughter a crocheted pumpkin named Steven.
02:08:00
Speaker
Steven the pumpkin, who hangs out on her desk at school.
02:08:05
Speaker
Helps me stay positive. It's a perfect place. And then
02:08:14
Speaker
Paco, because it rhymes with taco. if you didn't catch on to that. You didn't catch on to what I just said. Could have named Flacco. Flacco.
02:08:25
Speaker
He's not a part of the Ravens anymore. so Oh, no. Flacco in Spanish is like skinny. Oh. well that Or thin. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Flacco went deep to the Steelers last week.
02:08:43
Speaker
Yeah, whatever. don't want to fucking talk about it. I watched it. Flacco, flacco, flacco. i don't want to talk about Because he was just on the Cleveland team and he was asked. What do you think about sports being rigged?
02:08:57
Speaker
No, the NBA. I know technically it's a football show, but I am talking about the and NBA tomorrow.
02:09:08
Speaker
yeah I'm going to that football show and we're talking about basketball. You're talking about basketball. It's my show show. You just said NBA. NBA. I'm out of bed. All right, you get a pass then. I mean, if it's your show, I guess you can make that call. Oh, it's the biggest losing sports right now is what's going on in the and NBA, man. Chauncey Billups is in trouble.
02:09:28
Speaker
Nobody even heard about Chauncey Billups since, like, 95. I didn't even know he was shut down, let alone he was coaching.
02:09:37
Speaker
But she spreads her legs and a whole loaf of wheat bread falls out. Jesus Christ, Modal.
02:09:46
Speaker
Who gay, motherfuckers? Who gay? i mean, who they?
02:09:52
Speaker
We're small scandals. Yeah, man. The mafia's involved. the fuck are you doing? You're up in here, you're not up in here. I could have said that differently.
02:10:07
Speaker
Dude, I'm a maverick. You can't wait, huh? The mob, the Gambino family, the la Costa family, like there's like five families involved in this NBA scandal.
02:10:21
Speaker
It's crazy. Well, seeing that and that was supposedly they they said that was just playing playing poker. Right. Is that what they were trying to say? Oh, he's saying poker with bad guys.
02:10:32
Speaker
Yeah, it was rigged poker. So they set up these players and coaches and stuff. So they were got into a situation where they had to owe oh oh money, like Rozier. you know he He, like, took himself out of a game because he owed money to the mob and shit like that from gambling debts.
02:10:51
Speaker
and And then it's wild. I'm going to talk about tomorrow. I know it's i know it's ah technically, quote, unquote, we talk about football, but we got to talk about this. This is the biggest thing going on in sports.
02:11:04
Speaker
It's wild. I think football's rigged, too. Football's 100% rigged. for... I'm fucking sure. 100%. if they're doing that stuff in basketball, you don't think they're doing it in football? I mean, come on. they're doing all this safe respect It's spill over to other shit. This is just like the the gateway drug.
02:11:25
Speaker
It's like AIDS. It just happens. like think Well, if you listen to Fauci, you better watch out eating cereal with your family. you could catch AIDS. Hey, what the fuck? Guess who's been frosting them flakes, bro?
02:11:42
Speaker
Oh, shit. across Tell me that's a real statement. Yeah, so back in the day when AIDS came out, Fauci was leading the way, and he came out publicly and stated something about, like, you could catch it at the breakfast table with your family kind of thing. fucking love Fauci. know. He's an amazing man. You gotta love him. He's an amazing man.
02:12:09
Speaker
you gotta love me I love them. I do. I do. I do. I do. You're going to get your posters so that you don't spread the pain. They fucking got that shit more than everybody else did, I think.
02:12:25
Speaker
As well as hepatitis. Ooh, that's a sexy one. a Hepatitis Glick. Hepatitis Lemonade. The worst hepatitis you can get.
02:12:39
Speaker
The best hepatitis you can get is hepatitis Glick. Shut up, Jedi. You got it. got that What flavor of hepatitis do you have? Oh, I'm Glick flavored. Cherry flavored. Yeah, like the... Fuck off. Fuck off.
02:12:59
Speaker
believe what i love how they i love saturday night have come fuck up It's a non-surgical, lazy shaman night.
02:13:10
Speaker
That's what how it's supposed to be. Yeah. I need to come up more on Fridays. Does that say you're a real father?
02:13:19
Speaker
You're a real father. but yeah Daddy! my you might as very is it is it I thought this was a non-surgical. I didn't realize this was the Maury show. I wouldn't have showed up.
02:13:31
Speaker
My skin is very, very over they five translucent. We don't allow Canadians here. We have standards. no more or Don't worry. We don't have any standards on our show.
02:13:43
Speaker
Don't make us get Michael back here. doesn't believe in Canadians. No, they're real. That Canadian is not real.
02:13:55
Speaker
That motherfucker is not real.
02:13:59
Speaker
sorry That's why Brittany can't fly. She sees Canadians everywhere. That is going to be part of jokes, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Brittany's giving us a maybe teaser.
02:14:15
Speaker
yeah that case're go to be part of my jokes maybe maybe on here so bra's giving us a maybe teaser and why don't you why don't you Why don't you give us a five minute set right now?
02:14:32
Speaker
No, no, no. Because I have so many fucking sets. Blake is so worried about this roast. I'm not worried about it at all. No, no, no. listen Listen, we'll do a Kill Tony.
02:14:44
Speaker
We'll do a Kill Tony. you got You got one minute and I'll meow when your time is up. Yeah. I wouldn't hear you telling me out.
02:14:55
Speaker
oh and arms like yeah Literally. You were a fucking gay boy. was like a cat that stubbed its toe, Sheldon. You can do better. No, um don read no you're a pissed off cat now.
02:15:11
Speaker
Brittany, go on. No, I don't have it set up. I guess in the middle of the night, I just write down. I type in notes. I have to get it all set up.
02:15:22
Speaker
I've been talking to Michael about it. What? Give us one joke. that that
02:15:30
Speaker
That was the joke. I've been talking to Michael about it. That's hilarious. I like it. I love Brittany, you just got to do this. That would be like that joke. The timing was off a little bit, but the punchline really hit.
02:15:43
Speaker
Yeah.
02:15:46
Speaker
Thank you. i appreciate it. You're welcome.
02:15:51
Speaker
Come on, Brittany. Give us one more. Make it rain. I make
02:15:59
Speaker
it a sprinkle. MoDuck, on the scale of one to Glick, what state of gonorrhea are you? No, I am. um'm I'm working on my set, but I don't want to give it away.
02:16:12
Speaker
hearing a lot of excuses. and I'm excited to see it, Brittany. I know going kill it. I'm hearing jokes, but I'm hearing excuses. I'm not going to give away my jokes online before I do Glick is not. oh I can smell your stress from here.
02:16:31
Speaker
No, I'm not worried. That's his anus. No, i so I smell something coming from here. like That's all I know. um I'm expressing my anal glands right now as we speak.
02:16:43
Speaker
Yeah, his anal gland is... is ah I don't know, it's not too much pressure, Mojog. That's not it. It's just I don't want to let my jokes out. I don't want to let my jokes out before I let them out. Stimulated.
02:16:59
Speaker
That's the word i' was looking for, stimulated. You know, that's that's a land is stimul that's somebody should tell how people hear and Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura and all these top-tier comedians to stop putting their shit online because if they keep putting their stuff online, nobody's going to come and pay hundreds of dollars to see them. No, they are. They still do because they are always still there. You know who I enjoyed?
02:17:28
Speaker
I was actually really surprised, but I saw Bill Bellamy live at the improv a few years back. He was pretty funny. but but they bow me sorry that's cool last yeah he was I laughed out loud. he it was It was nice. and i'm I'm very picky when it comes to comedy. like You don't want me in your show, like in your audience, because like I won't laugh the whole time, but I'll tell you how funny you were afterwards.
02:17:55
Speaker
Or how funny you were not. When you stroke with your fucking head garbs, it throws people off. It makes everybody uncomfortable. ah so Well, they're used to my PFC around here.
02:18:07
Speaker
This is Orlando. People wear weirder stuff. and I've done stand-up before. Well, like short little things, and I've done improv. So it's not a problem being in front of people.
02:18:18
Speaker
That's not problem. I just don't want to tell my jokes. I want to save them for New Year's Eve. i want i want to I want them to be in the moment type things. i don't want them to have previews of it.
02:18:31
Speaker
Okay.
02:18:34
Speaker
Okay, so a grandpa and a grandson are fishing, right? not That is an actual start to a joke, but I'm not going to finish.
02:18:46
Speaker
Oh, because you don't got the rest. You want me to give the rest? I'll give the fucking rest. Turns out the grandson was a little girl. It was me.
02:18:57
Speaker
Alright, so the grandson and grandpa go fishing, right? They're in a boat in the middle of the lake. And they're just sitting there, whatever, got the rods in the water.
02:19:08
Speaker
And Grandpa pulls out a beer. And Grandson goes, hey, Grandpa, can I have a drink of the beer? And he looks over and it goes, well, can your dick touch your ass?
02:19:21
Speaker
Grandson says, no. Granddad goes, well, you can't have any yet. It was all right. So later on, you know, time passes by. Grandpa pulls out a cigarette, lights it up, start smoking. Grandson asked, Hey grandpa, can I have a, ah you know, pull a cigarette as well?
02:19:36
Speaker
Can you dig touch your ass? He's like, no. And it goes, well, you can't have one yet. but All right. So some time goes by and the grandson gets hungry. So he pulls out a peanut butter and g sandwich he starts eating a sandwich and grandpa goes, Hey,
02:19:53
Speaker
You know, can I have some? And the grandson goes, well, can your dick touch your ass? Grandpa goes, well, yeah. And he goes, well, go fuck yourself. Grandma made this for me. Nice. Hey, I got one, too, with boats. Real quick. Hey. A lot of crowd.
02:20:10
Speaker
ah hey i i got one too with both you real quick hey well miss modult comment you're one ah wanna crowd you search up these comedians you can also find their stand-up it's all online it's like it's like if i was a musician i'm not gonna put my stuff online because i want people a magician culture why would they come see magic tricks i'll know what you're doing
02:20:43
Speaker
hence the force the reason uh of glicks house of music uh to the independent artists what's going on fuckcker Oh, you said musician. I thought you did magic tricks.
02:20:56
Speaker
I reached out to another band. That's good, Mordog. like that.
02:21:05
Speaker
What? I reached out to another band. Oh, Brittany. I'm big time. You got the name of my band.
02:21:16
Speaker
I shall.
02:21:19
Speaker
um for i forget the words but i do love that song my band my band my band my band that's what's up at least you at least you knew the reference that's that's all that mattered that was great that's my time dude that was my favorite part of the stream so far see
02:21:50
Speaker
Y'all should make it out to the roast of Glick. That would be amazing. I want to be so i would be on stage, to be honest. You guys should come out to rest of Ohio and see Brittany and... See, Glick is so nervous. listen well Like I said, look I had i had so um would have gone up there because I used to have family in Ohio, but they're all dead now.
02:22:19
Speaker
ah sh by the way bit you're new are you I family out there, but i took care of i'll be um these are ghost sha i no shit like you pocket
02:22:35
Speaker
like shaman's goingnna do whitefaces i'm gonna do blackface that racist yeah hit and i'm one i'm going yeah my face black i'm doing yellow face ah You got to get good at math before you can pull that off.
02:22:51
Speaker
What did the Asians do to you, Shaman? They were born? I don't know. None of us known. They took away his ability to eat gluten. And we've never gotten Chinese food. Dog is delicious.
02:23:07
Speaker
They told me that two plus two is four instead of five. ah The bark is as good as the bite. ah either Give me some of that orange dog.
02:23:19
Speaker
That's where my dog went. Orange Labrador with extra broccoli and white rice, please.
02:23:30
Speaker
I lost my cat last week. General... um You got to put the canceled thing up when you say all that. I'm trying to remember the name for for dog in Vietnamese. It's like Cho or something like that.
02:23:44
Speaker
You really got to watch out when you go eat. they They'll go out there and you're like, yeah, let me get some of the barbecue Cho and then eat a dog.
02:23:56
Speaker
It's probably not Joe, so you know anybody watching can fuck off. Go correct me. Nine out of ten grandmas didn't quite hear the joke. Eh?
02:24:07
Speaker
They don't know what they're eating. They don't have taste buds anymore. That's why they put extra salt on everything just to feel alive. yeah Salty nuts. Or just to kill themselves. Whatever.
02:24:22
Speaker
Jesus, that that i went dark real quick. It
02:24:29
Speaker
I enjoyed it, but I'm sure there's a lot of people that i also enjoyed it. will give you a ah like a little bit of hints of some of my jokes.
02:24:44
Speaker
Definitely have to do... Don't give away too much, Brittany. I want to see the shit. No, I'm not. not. Well, because we're not going to be live for the comedy part, but for the...
02:24:59
Speaker
for a single
Foot Fetish Story
02:25:00
Speaker
part? Yeah, we're going live for that. like Listen, i'm I'm going there, and I'm going to videotape it, and I'm live streaming it. All right? I'm going to live stream and you're not going to know who I am.
02:25:12
Speaker
Yeah, because he's going to be the only one there with a headdress like that, and you're not going to spot him. He's to be out right now, aren't you? I will not even notice a thing. um But no, yeah, have one a lot of the one of the jokes has to do with like me going to church camp yeah and being a youth leader and being my grandpa being a pastor.
02:25:40
Speaker
I'm like, you know.
02:25:43
Speaker
Sorry, came back and he literally backed into stream like I saw his ass first and then he turned. He was like back. I just all of a sudden I saw Glick's ass and then he turned.
02:25:56
Speaker
which And got you excited. kind street And that's what got you excited. I just thought it was funny. be bo but But it did make you smile. well you're Calm down, shaman.
02:26:13
Speaker
It made you smile, though, right? i like why you Why do you sound so congested? easy What's going on? You been doing some cocaine? I wish.
02:26:24
Speaker
Okay, you know, we're going to do a swap right now. Glick, I will trade you shaman for Britney. ah but like yeah get I get shaman and you get Britney?
02:26:35
Speaker
Yeah. Hell yeah. but Boom. Done. Yeah, but but see, the way it works, though, is that He goes over to Nonsensical.
02:26:46
Speaker
He goes over to Nonsensical and then you would come over to the Shaman show. You know what? I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. You are just left on an island. That's the best. I'm okay with it. network and i yeah at that one you are just left on an island that's The
02:27:01
Speaker
we combine i'm okay with this you know nonsensric is funnier than you are so yeah not simmon and And it's a double dose Friday and Saturday night of the nonsensical shaman.
02:27:19
Speaker
that's That's not our keys in the fucking fishbowl and we're just swapping partners. oh see party I got shaman. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? You're the one that's going to have to defuck and defuck and get all the lice out of that headdress that he has.
02:27:45
Speaker
He hasn't washed it since 1969.
02:27:49
Speaker
You got to deal with that now, Glick. That was a good year. I remember that year. It was good. It was a good year. Yeah. I was totally alive.
02:28:02
Speaker
I got the license under control. um like I remember it like it was yesterday. not I remember it like it's tomorrow.
02:28:15
Speaker
Yes, the nonsensical shaman is going to be amazing. But we're still doing it. We're still going to keep our OnlyFans going. Okay. yeah may no foot find that that That's the money. wait and We got bills to pay. Listen, Brittany. We got bills to pay. God damn it.
02:28:33
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, the network doesn't fund itself. okay Okay. Just don't pay the bill. Sorry. I mean.
02:28:45
Speaker
We're swapping co-hosts, but at the same time, we're still businessmen. I've been doing it since May. Can we still use that on pineapple before swapping? Are we not allowed in that community? Because the banging city of Warren, Ohio. This is the biggest thing to happen to Warren, Ohio ever.
02:29:06
Speaker
yeah but's it is because the britney much like everybody else uh the city of warren is riding glute's coattails and you need to put my name or the network in your broadcast so that you actually get views you fucking twats it is it's an awesome it's an awesome place it's for real What is?
02:29:30
Speaker
we at The Underground Lounge. The Underground Lounge? Yeah. helped Helped a lot of people back in the day. Modog, they're also funnier when I show up on this. I fucking hate you. Maybe I shouldn't.
02:29:47
Speaker
You'd kill me, dude.
02:29:50
Speaker
You need to fucking come on the news. I forget what I just said. What?
02:30:00
Speaker
We've killed Brittany again.
02:30:04
Speaker
<unk>e need to visit.
02:30:11
Speaker
Yay. Yeah, that's pretty messed up. It's because it we get to be free on other people's channels. On our channel, we have to behave. Well, that's because you're doing a fucking main business, bro. Shit.
02:30:25
Speaker
Something good. Yeah, dude. That's the godfather.
02:30:31
Speaker
It's all up to him. I ain't shit. I'm just an asshole with computer and a camera. I mean, we know that. I ain't shit. You know what?
02:30:42
Speaker
The O's lasted longer than Glick, so. Yeah, the godfather. You come to me and actually. i don't even like baseball don't even like baseball, but not. She don't even like baseball, but she'll get to third base.
02:30:57
Speaker
You know. Oh my God, dude. um I like hoes. I like hoes. You're talking about the Warriors, right? Yeah. heart, yeah. Let's go. and I'm not going to wait. Put that voice up here with already, God damn it. Kayla's waiting. If Foot Finder doesn't work out, we can always hoes-toes.
02:31:27
Speaker
I was thinking about that. actually like I was walking barefoot and they got really dirty and I was like, I should take pictures of my feet. Hashtag hose and toes. Dirty ass toes.
Feet Humor and Comparisons
02:31:40
Speaker
No, it's a thing. It's not my thing. I don't know about the thing if it's not my thing. The chick almost killed a million dollars a month putting farts in a jar.
02:31:56
Speaker
So there's an ass empty seats. like Dirty monkey toes would definitely... I'm saying I tried i tried selling farts at work and it I got in trouble
02:32:16
Speaker
why you yeah Why you're not on Feet Finder already as much as we've talked about it? I know. mean i know I have really been deeply thinking about it. How deep?
02:32:29
Speaker
Oh, that's what she said. Third base. Holy shit. you having come on and and my dog? My toes are pretty long.
02:32:47
Speaker
I high five every time I walk. You can literally hang from a tree branch with them sons of bitches. Oh, wait. hello Bro, her toes are tree branches. does She's like a tree grumbling.
02:33:03
Speaker
Can I swing off your toes? watch um For 20 bucks a month, you can't shop. or Or if you're a stranger in the park, she'll gladly let you take pictures for free.
02:33:20
Speaker
Hey, there you go. I have a definitely stranger over there. It's my shoes. so
02:33:29
Speaker
Hey, little girl. I like your feet. Can I take pictures of them? Yeah, sure. Whatever. Dude. Yeah, that did happen. I know it happened. What? I'm not like other people. and and the online So they don't know this story. They don't know this story. We don't know this story. This needs to be said out loud.
02:33:51
Speaker
So I was out on the trail that I like to go to. two Okay. oragon trail around Hold on. The trail. If you say the trail and in Orlando, that means a certain street is known for prostitution.
02:34:06
Speaker
is It's the street I work on. Whoa. Oh, you're my boss? Who's your pimp, Shaman? Who's your pimp? No, but all that's true. I'm serious. It's called the trail. like every Anybody in in Orlando knows what the is.
02:34:23
Speaker
Dude, I'm going to mute your ass, motherfucker. Floor. Get it right. so you're fucking alright So you're working the trail. I was back.
02:34:34
Speaker
I like to go hiking and stuff like that. And I had my feet in the water and there was this young guy that like wanted to take pictures of me or whatever.
02:34:45
Speaker
He had his dick out and while he took pictures. no Was hard or soft? Both. It was sharp. It was a half chub?
02:34:56
Speaker
It was always like mashed potatoes with lumps in it. Yeah, it was sharp. Oh, so he had herpes. He had herpes, syphilis, yes. ah ah No, he had happies.
02:35:08
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. I wouldn't have taken payment from him either because like you might've caught it. Oh, he might've had, he might've had a thing in my life, but um you don't want to catch, you don't want to catch something like epilepsy.
02:35:24
Speaker
It's go hard to recover from that's just contagious as fuck. Epilepsy. What is that again? um with yourvp as as it that's That's when you involuntarily breakdance.
02:35:41
Speaker
There you go. I'm going into breakdancing classes in middle school and high school. never heard that before. If there's strobe lights, if there's strobe lights.
02:35:54
Speaker
you breath yeah yeah You match that energy. That's how we're saying. You really seize the moment. You know what i mean? You really seize the moment. You really seize up in the moment is what he means to say.
02:36:06
Speaker
Because of epilepsy. You're stupid. There's like 14 epilepsy jokes and you just caught one, Brady. You might have epilepsy. You might have epilepsy.
02:36:19
Speaker
trying to finish my story all was saying i found out the dude that took my pictures of my feet pictures of your goddamn feet and you're just like he took pictures of me did he slip you oh my gosh no he had epilepsy he had epilepsy jesus christ okay everybody stop let's let britney finish she's I found out that he had a foot fetish, so I wonder if he sold my fucking pictures to Pete. No, no and he checked off to him. ah six i will doing
02:36:53
Speaker
You just thought about that now, that he had a foot fetish when you want take pictures your feet? No, not just now. It took months later figure it out. Nine months later? When I was like, oh, can I see your feet? I'm like, no, blocked.
02:37:12
Speaker
But then I realized he has pictures because, yeah. Why didn't I get any fucking profit from that shit? Those are my motherfucking feet. Yeah, I'm so confused by this whole thing.
02:37:25
Speaker
You thought about a months later that he might have a... You gave it you gave the milk away for free. That's what happened Yeah, I did. I did. Yep. Nobody wants to count when she gets it for free.
02:37:39
Speaker
I didn't it at the post at the time. i i got no photographer trying to get pictures. A stranger walks up to you at a park and says, can I take pictures of your feet? It's not a park.
02:37:56
Speaker
No, that's not how it went. He has to take pictures of me. But then afterwards I found out that he likes feet. It was an emphasis on your feet though.
02:38:07
Speaker
great For years. Afterwards, i figured that out. yeah in In your defense, for years, people have captured pictures of my feet and they have made molds of them trying to prove that I exist for years.
02:38:21
Speaker
so so I understand. Yeah. like Oh, look, this is the real Fred Flintstone foot. She was. Oh, you guys dropped the ball. Come on.
02:38:35
Speaker
No, she wanted she wanted him to take the news, but he kept taking pictures of her feet, and she's like, hey, up here. yeah that's well You know? Could you put it on my nipples? Fuck off, Shaman. He can suck a toe. No, he will. He can suck a toe.
02:38:52
Speaker
That's kind his top hobby. she's just figure out <unk> getting a foot Oh, yeah, it took her a minute. and When she found her feet online, she was like, where are my feet on feet finder?
02:39:03
Speaker
Oh, yeah, Brittany. That's why Brittany is familiar. I was like, those tattoos on my toes look kind of like mine. You're going to have to reverse image search your feet.
02:39:18
Speaker
Fuck off. Do embarrassing feet pics now replace vajayjay pics? Yo. For some people. For some people, not most people.
02:39:30
Speaker
I will take a vajayjay pic over a feet pic any day of week. Mandy, they're at least probably medium. I'm sorry. My boobs are up here. sir and Well, you know what happened is all these priests got caught doing dirty things.
02:39:47
Speaker
but They got fired and they had to get jobs at Foot Locker. So now they just take pictures of feet. Yeah. I worked in bands for a little while. That was a good one.
02:39:57
Speaker
That was a good one. That was solid and you were not expecting it. What's up?
02:40:04
Speaker
Sorry, bye-bye. That's, yeah. What just happened? You're like, sorry, my bad. We have a whole nother world outside of the fucking podcast. We get it.
02:40:21
Speaker
sweet but Wait, what? Mandy, where are your boobs? I don't see them. I'm looking at your feet. um I'm staring at your feet. You have boobs?
02:40:32
Speaker
Prove it. The sad part about it was the guy got out of a creepy ass van and walked up and was like, hey. Whoa. That's a robot boy.
02:40:43
Speaker
how lord it And she was like, oh, whatever. the The kids I have trapped in the back of my van real like feet. and i Can I take a few pictures of yours? What is happening?
02:40:57
Speaker
I don't know. This has gone off the rails so hard. name You see? You see why I'm not scared, Jedi? You see why I'm not scared of the race, Jedi? No, you're definitely scared. You're definitely scared. I don't know.
02:41:10
Speaker
You just gave me an idea for a great... I just had a great idea for a porn artist. I don't know your ideas are about Shaman. Jesus Christ. That's what I knew he was going to say. Damn it, Shaman. I have to go have a smoke just to forget this conversation ever happened. Honestly, me too. Outrageous. Check this out. There's van that free candy, right? But for adults instead.
02:41:33
Speaker
there's a van that says you know free candy right yes it talking but it's for adults good And then when you open the door, there's a lady in there named Candy.
02:41:44
Speaker
you know ah Oh, nice. Dude, if a van pulls up right now and says, I'm getting glicknapped. If a van pulls up and says, free gear um um'm I'm in Blackbone 3 at the end of the day. Ethan Hawke is going to murder me.
02:42:02
Speaker
and just we That's a Blackbone reference. If you guys haven't seen Blackbone, that just went nowhere. Three roll-ups. Let's go. Sorry. Sorry, Blake.
02:42:14
Speaker
and I know you don't want me to talk about that. but Talk about what? Nothing. You can talk about I don't care. Wait, hold on. Oh,
02:42:25
Speaker
I made a mistake. Oh, you can talk about it. No, I don't care about it. It's people in my state, okay? oh no No, no, no, no, no. When the conversation is only that. No, no, no, no, no. no You can make it.
02:42:38
Speaker
You know yours, Donner. I thought you were talking about, oh god, I forgot. I didn't i only got a single bed and not two beds. My bad. a Oh wait, my bad.
02:42:50
Speaker
My bad. yeah
02:42:56
Speaker
ah
02:42:58
Speaker
My bad. You said. Dude. You said. ah You said. There's coxswain in the building.
02:43:10
Speaker
inside that okay
02:43:15
Speaker
well that's it i got and different but a
Preparing to Roast Brittany
02:43:22
Speaker
look like could let let the let the song play out just let the song play out but
02:43:31
Speaker
wanna joke what a motherfu ah Right back at you, baby. So many words. Let the song play out.
02:43:42
Speaker
Again, the great thing about Glick is Glick always has the truth on his side so he can leave with a clear conscience and a clear mind and doesn't have to feel guilty. huh Especially after that bullshit. Fuck off.
02:44:00
Speaker
Fuck off, motherfucker! Oh, a oh that's another nickname that people have for me. I don't know if I should tell you guys. I'm not surprised.
02:44:14
Speaker
My name is Brittany Cox. No, my name is Brittany Cox, but they call me Britt Cox.
02:44:24
Speaker
Britt Cox. Britt Cox. Britt Cox. Stop. you just you got it Sometimes you to hear the side i'd be common and in all I barely hear. You know this.
02:44:38
Speaker
wait Put your other earbud in. Why do you only have one earbud in? Also, put your earbud in your good ear, Britt. I actually put my earbud in my back. I shove my earbuds in my ass. That's where your head is. Valid point, Shaman.
02:44:53
Speaker
it has a i like my that's where your head is you know that valid point sha It has one of these thingy-majiggies, so it like fits on a specific year So put your other earbud in that fits that ear a lot. You're a it, bitch, because you didn't hear that.
02:45:13
Speaker
Oh, my God. how you I can't wait to fucking roast the fuck out of you on New Year's Eve. Oh, my God. it's gonna Make sure you have the right earbud in. Yeah, actually...
02:45:27
Speaker
yeah actually They do have microphones. It's like I can't hear a rose click, but I can't hear shit because I'm deaf. I only have one earbud.
02:45:39
Speaker
It doesn't fit in the other ear hole. You're a fucking dick hole.
02:45:45
Speaker
has that She has to buy two different pairs of earbuds because one only fits on one side and the other fits on the other.
02:45:54
Speaker
Sometimes things don't fit in the hole and all you have to do is just fork it in. You've got misaligned your canals. but Oh, God. Oh, God.
02:46:05
Speaker
Mandy, how did your game go? Oh, it's still going, and I don't the and don't want to talk about it. bad is it? Oh, I've got to go look.
02:46:16
Speaker
How bad is It's 28-18 in the third quarter. Who are you guys playing? Are you losing? A&M. Oh my god, you're losing to A&M. Oh my god, A&M's ranked three in the country?
02:46:31
Speaker
Yeah, A&M is the only team left in the SEC that's undefeated. ah see yeah we We had a lead on them and fucked it up because, well, Brian Kelly.
02:46:44
Speaker
No. We just have no offense and Brian Kelly's a shit coach. ge oxger I'm glad he's your problem and no longer our problem.
02:46:57
Speaker
Wait, Mandy, who's your team? LSU. Oh. We're talking college, right? Yes, college. Mandy is a huge Alabama fan. She loves Alabama. I will knock you the fuck out, Glick, if that ever falls out to your goddamn again. the neighbor I will never cheer for a team that is named after a woman's period.
02:47:28
Speaker
she She is the you both hide the biggest and fan that you'll ever meet. I will say, like if i because I don't usually watch college football. I love football to death.
02:47:43
Speaker
But if I was too root for a team, roll tide all the way, baby. How do you cheer for 18? and cheer for Wow, you want go ands the that Crimson Tide.
02:47:58
Speaker
Really? not from ah old yeah And it's so funny because the only people that yell Roll Tide are the ones who've never actually went there. Yeah, I've never been there. Is Virginia Tech considered?
02:48:11
Speaker
Yeah. is virginia tech and so very yeah Yeah, and you really got to feel bad for Alabama after they lost their library on campus.
02:48:23
Speaker
I mean, only five of those coloring books were already colored in. no and they were outside the line. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
02:48:33
Speaker
Oh, oh, oh. her That hurts. That hurts. I've seen that big play that put them up in 2018. They just played it, Mandy. Oh, that hurts. Oh, my gosh.
02:48:45
Speaker
Oh. That hurts. However, i will say you're up 17 to 7. Mandy loves Alabama. I will fuck you up too, dude.
02:48:58
Speaker
have been nice to you. I have never been a bitch to you, but you are about to see my smart ass side, love. If you don't get that shit off the screen. Mandy the Alabama handy. How much does it cost?
02:49:11
Speaker
mindy the alabama handy
02:49:15
Speaker
oo how much does it cost Well, I could be the Jedi handy, but I don't have any tweezers.
02:49:26
Speaker
Jedi didn't even say it. Mo Dog said it. Mo Dog said it. Mo Dog said it. Mo Dog said it. Mo Dog said it. Mo Dog said it. right for the yeah murder Yeah, I've seen I've lived in Florida for a while and I've seen a red tide in Florida.
02:49:47
Speaker
It smells kind of fishy. You're damn right, lesbians with the can of tune in the back pocket like it's i just gentlemen don't depend on my corner and you're checking on gentlemen don't be afraid of the red tide so hit and di make that shoot I hide from the red tide.
02:50:11
Speaker
Get your that red wings. Get your red wing that red wings. That's it. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that anymore. I have turned 32 and I haven't been... Although I do miss being able to be blame being a bitch on PMS too.
02:50:31
Speaker
better ah yeah Don't you lie to us, baby. You still blamed it on that even if it didn't happen. Use it on Menopock. I blame, when I'm a bitch, I blame it on Menopock. That's a website box. Just blame it on being yourself. It is.
02:50:50
Speaker
Wait, what?
Sasquatch Song Challenge
02:50:51
Speaker
Wait, what? Sorry. That's a good hashtag right there. but wasn't we weren sorry that's a good hashtag right there What? oh Moda. Saturdays are too much. Oh my God.
02:51:07
Speaker
yeah I don't think they're enough. Speaking of Rex having a song for everything, Rex. ah Yes. we did The last time we were live on a night.
02:51:20
Speaker
You were awesome. You were put to the challenge for a Sasquatch song for me for my birthday and you dropped that song Our boy, Rocky, is remixed. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Okay, I know.
02:51:39
Speaker
Our boy, Rocky, is remixed. It sounds fucking amazing. And not only is he remixed. Actually, you know what? I'm not going to give any spoilers. but you and And he's going to make it playable so that we can play the entire song out here. And he's fucking killing it.
02:51:57
Speaker
So as soon as that's done and ready, it'll be brought up. And that's courtesy of you, Rex, because you were challenged and you fucking rose to the challenge. And then I got Rock Lee on it. So
Ice Cube Surprise Performance
02:52:09
Speaker
that'll be a network exclusive.
02:52:13
Speaker
so like is Glick is ready to dock with you.
02:52:18
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Modal and I, we haven't had that discussion if we're exclusive or if we're open yet. So don't be putting don't be putting that out there, Jedi.
02:52:34
Speaker
You're dodging. We know. No, you better stop it. Why would you disrespect my new co-host like that?
02:52:45
Speaker
Oh, don't bother me. Rolls off holds up
02:52:51
Speaker
It wasn't Tenacious D. Why are you moving me around, you motherfucker? I'm moving everywhere. No, wasn't in Tenacious D. He's mover and a shaker.
02:53:02
Speaker
and Was it a country-ish song? No, it was a rap song. I think it was Ice Cube. Ice Cube? Okay, fair enough. I love Ice Cube. Today was a good day.
02:53:15
Speaker
Today was a good day. This is the one about. Yeah, we're good. We were at Louder Than Life. 2019, when Ice Cube just popped up randomly and we got to see him, we were in the same place at the same time, but we didn't know each other.
02:53:38
Speaker
Fucking Ice
Co-host Dynamics and Humor
02:53:39
Speaker
Cube's dope. Oh, yeah, we were at Louder Than Life, yeah. Give me like two seconds. There, boom. Then we'll do We're going to do this right quick.
02:53:50
Speaker
That at the one? Mm-hmm.
02:53:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's the one. That's the one. church. What a... Sorry, MoDog. Sorry, MoDog. Tiger got out of the cage on that
02:54:09
Speaker
it sorryyo dogymo doggie wall but how youre getting out of the cage on that one Well, you only played like two seconds of it.
02:54:20
Speaker
No, no i yeah that that's all I needed. but that's That's what Glick considers a quickie. Shut up, Jedi. It took me longer to fucking look it up than it did for you to listen to it. What the fuck is that about?
02:54:35
Speaker
Oh, my strikes. Oh, my fucking ankle. Somebody shot me in the nuts. Okay. fifty Oh, wow. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, you can't take a little hint and don't get it in the kitchen, man.
02:54:49
Speaker
Look, you need to repent for your sins. i've Fuck you. Hey, I didn't eat my soul. That's the nicest way I've ever heard anybody tell Glit to get on his knee, you cheddar.
02:55:02
Speaker
that
02:55:05
Speaker
My sins are amazing, you fucking idiot. God
Brittany's Upbringing Stories
02:55:12
Speaker
damn it. Where the fuck is Rocky? Don't get your panties in a twist now. Hey, Mandy, try to do this.
02:55:26
Speaker
yeah Oh, wow. Holy shit, man. open say your time I can't even see. Oh, Brittany's taking it up a notch. Holy shit.
02:55:39
Speaker
I used to take break dancing classes, okay? Saved up my lunch money. but Wait a minute. savedd up but but Honestly, I think you should just eat lunch.
02:55:54
Speaker
but Well, no, so I would get salad. You already got it. I was just getting the middle image of Brittany in the little zip-up sweater with the bandana wrapped around her wrist. This has been a thing. Mom's spaghetti's on her sweater already.
02:56:16
Speaker
You know what? Except my mom left when I was two months old. So is old. That's why you got sick and threw it out.
02:56:27
Speaker
Okay, so the no-name brand spaghetti on your sweater. but Yeah, basically. And then I'm painting walls and sanding painting walls as I'm four years old. and um we gotta to poach We gotta poach Mandy too. We gotta to get her on the lazy and show Michelle.
02:56:49
Speaker
I know. Yeah. No, no. We're
Mandy's Humor Journey
02:56:52
Speaker
poaching Mandy. that That would be good.
02:56:58
Speaker
Mandy, you are dope as fuck. You're hilarious. yeah Funny as hell. That's what years of trauma does to you. You either learn to be funny about it or cry every day. Dead eye. You proposed a trade and now it's the nonsensical shaman network. That's fine.
02:57:18
Speaker
You're out on Fridays. It's the Lazy and Brittany show now, so that's fine. Yeah, well, good luck with that. The lazy Brit. The lazy Brit. noise The lazy Brit. We have to speak for a second, so. Oh, that made my ankle hurt.
02:57:37
Speaker
Wait, what? I'm sorry. I'm watching the game. A dude got his ankle rolled and had two his fingers land on top of his ankle and it made my ankle hurt watching. thought you meant the comment that he meant made your ankle hurt.
02:57:55
Speaker
And I was so confused. I was like, what the? I don't have anymore. I haven't had those in years. This is not football night, East Lansing.
02:58:13
Speaker
East Lansing. I might head out of here. Brittany, you're not going to abandon me, are you? Why would you do that?
Saturday Night Chaos
02:58:24
Speaker
Someone talk about football tonight. I don't know either. I literally just watched Michigan score. I celebrated. Shut up. I think they were talking to me.
02:58:34
Speaker
Because I was over here bitching. It was definitely click. It was click. It was definitely click. Did you hear that burp?
02:58:46
Speaker
Gross. it's That was barely a burp. Did you hear that burp? know, exactly. That's why I said it was gross. Did you hear that burp? It was so inadequate, it was gross.
02:58:59
Speaker
It was weak. Yeah. Be my asshole. Be my asshole. I thought the burp was glick. I was just going to say he ought to be used to inadequate. Yeah.
02:59:10
Speaker
but I'm gonna i really she pass the bell to the next one eat your asshole. Y'all, I have to give my brother hair. I didn't get to do a fuck with him last Saturday, so I'm having to make up for a long time.
02:59:26
Speaker
i know. say halloween I was at a Halloween party drinking moonshine and a great time.
02:59:33
Speaker
Hanging out. Pastor, drink at moonshine without me. time on you It is. Oh, Mandy. yeah yeah mandy How dare Gleif? How dare you? We got to figure out how to her some.
02:59:46
Speaker
I'll pay for it. What's that? I don't know. happy i adam we'll just happen ah i don't You know those... What ah what is that? what did if ti touch cany Britney, it's not an I don't...
03:00:01
Speaker
i don't i don't i don't deny i don't like buttercotch can i where there's anything there's moonshine Mandy. Oh, my God.
03:00:13
Speaker
It was so fun. I love alcohol. has terrible notes in it. so
Moonshine Experiences
03:00:19
Speaker
And then one guy brought lemonade moonshine and orange dream circle moonshine. I thought I was trouble because they handed me a jar of the orange dream circle and there was like, don't know, a what?
03:00:38
Speaker
A fourth? ah but left I didn't know a fourth was a thing. so That's like a quarter. One of my father-in-law's friends makes being the best. I got a quarter of the jar left and I just drank it.
03:00:52
Speaker
and i look like kids discovered actions I was like, I'm mad. a and She's like, no, you're fine. and Then I was eating the orange. I had an orange out it because you put orange slices in it.
03:01:04
Speaker
Mandy, this one's so fucking good. It was so good. and i had I had orange lemonade, Werther's regular... I'm going to have to get peach moonshine from here because I put real peaches in it and then I used those to make peach cobbler.
03:01:25
Speaker
yeah turns out of he so fun. So good. I like pineapple. That's my say for you. I was being good. And I was being good at first. I was just taking nips.
03:01:38
Speaker
Pineapple juice. Yeah. The best time, if you sit, you you're just supposed to sip it. If you're drinking it like hardcore drinking it, you're either a fucking lush or you're on your ass in two minutes.
03:01:55
Speaker
Yeah. It might be option A of Lush. I grew up on Lush. I grew up drinking. I did too. This shit was like, i mean even even the straight up no flavor Mooshine.
03:02:12
Speaker
T-Bone was like, on your ass, and I took a drink out of it, and he was like,
03:02:19
Speaker
Okay. Brittany's like three pounds. ah Three sips would have her no ah no, I'm Irish. I can handle that shit.
03:02:31
Speaker
And German. I'm an but and an alcoholic. so yeah You are not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings.
03:02:44
Speaker
No, they don't. Quitters go to meetings. stick I didn't raise no motherfucking quitter. This bitch ain't no quitter. i didn't have a mom, so we're going to that. This is why I hang out with the dudes. It's because I was raised by my dad and my brother.
03:03:06
Speaker
Damn, that's her virginity in some weird scenario. That's part of my jokes as well. And I was... Shut the fuck up.
03:03:20
Speaker
yeah thank yeah You said it, not
Virginity and Relationship Jokes
03:03:23
Speaker
me. Don't be mad at Glick just because he lost his virginity to a sock. you know okay. To sock. That is a hell of an opening ah that's a hell of an opening line.
03:03:37
Speaker
so i want that's gotta to be really You need to come to the New Year's Eve thing for fucking real to roast Glick. I'm here to help. ah coach you mindy Although with him being Sasquatch, he might have been a tree not Stop. Stop. Stop saying all these jokes.
03:03:57
Speaker
Keep it. Keep it. so Keep them. Keep them. I already know. I already know. I am paying for fucking Mandy to come fucking roast you.
03:04:09
Speaker
You look terrible at relationships. Oh, for sure. Yeah, that's definitely going to be a part it. Oh, yeah. You didn't even tell your girlfriend to earmuff it before you said that.
03:04:23
Speaker
through lips name but She knows. I've done told her. See, that's one of my favorite jokes to use about Jell-Ecky. She you're going to be shitty boyfriend. It is the fact that I've been his sister since six bad relationships ago.
03:04:37
Speaker
I'm legit. I am a shitty boyfriend. I've already given myself the worst boyfriend award. Is he single? or i know She's so excited to hear all this.
03:04:51
Speaker
ah You know that's going to be a big part of the fucking roast, right? Single click is a menace. You are a menace in general. i was just going to say that.
Stand-up Comedy Encouragement
03:05:04
Speaker
like i remind the society and we like i don't know. i Like your mouth. can't get his head out of his own yeah usually finger's the thing good can't either he can't get his head out of her that's why he puts his is oh no but but here's the thing and in ki i'm using this up my fucking words i'm live If I'm live on TikTok and I'm acting a goddamn fool, none of that shit is real.
03:05:43
Speaker
like i can I can say and do whatever I want and don't mean it. TikTok is like online Narnia. You're right. yeah yeah You bitches walk into a closet in your bedroom and now you're in here now we're acting a goddamn fool.
03:06:00
Speaker
And that's what it is. like and And that's and that like being on here and having some of the topic of conversations in past relationships, I'm like, I'm going to go ahead and swerve out of it.
03:06:12
Speaker
Now I'm just, I'm steering head on into the decision some other Yeah, that can fuck right on off. i I'm happy for you.
03:06:24
Speaker
You seem to be happy. I'm still going to give you a lot of shit for it, though.
03:06:32
Speaker
And I love that you are happy with Kayla. Kayla's her name, right? Kayla? yeah I don't know what her name is. I'm not allowed to call her by her government.
Podcasting and Roast Plans
03:06:45
Speaker
I have no idea what her name I've lost track of names, is what I'm saying. Sorry. yes I mean, it's hard to look like this.
03:06:57
Speaker
Unless Brittany has it tattooed on her body, she will not remember your name. That's how she remembers her name.
03:07:05
Speaker
Fuck you, Jedi, too. name is Brittany. And let me show you how to spell it. but my My name is Lo-H-E-A-N-Y.
03:07:19
Speaker
Dude, if Shaman, I swear to fucking God. I've heard that so many motherfucking times in my life. You've heard what? You've heard what so many times? That my middle name is Loves.
03:07:33
Speaker
No, I didn't say a middle name, but I didn't know that. Is your middle name Loves? Yeah. Yeah. See, I was going to make a reference like as if you went to you went to read your name off of a tattoo and then you read the wrong tattoo.
03:07:47
Speaker
How's that fucking dumb? Jesus Christ.
03:07:56
Speaker
You got like Britney's written on your left arm and then you got something else written on your left. Britney. aye And then I want to get knee slapper. Hold on.
03:08:11
Speaker
but Hold on. Everybody shut the fuck up. and we um Excuse me? I want to talk louder now. Oh, the fuck yeah.
Humor and Empathy
03:08:26
Speaker
MoDog. What's going on, brother? MoDog. I just had to come up and say I was only off by two minutes on my rage quit thing. I see. full question Kayla has been waiting all night for you to come up because she loves your rage quit.
03:08:44
Speaker
What's going on, Kayla? I blew her mind when I told her you were like 75. 72, man. seventy two just let me add in years on and shit making them feel old right 72 72 is bad enough man shit you might be 72 but he's like a 23 year old i'm just saying they said 72 and a half i'm only a four on the glick scale man yeah we can't count it to four so that's like out of this world
03:09:16
Speaker
You're about 12.
03:09:27
Speaker
Purple crayons away from being a full-on glick on the... That one had some bite to it. What are you just drinking? I just did a shot of bourbon.
03:09:41
Speaker
what i know it's I know it was bourbon, but what was... No, you don't know shit. what for she Shut up. Woodford Reserve. But I'm drinking um drinking the 12-pack for 12 bucks. Oh, the champagne of beer. The champagne.
03:09:59
Speaker
I love that. Trying to kick this colds ass I've had for a week. How was... um I mean, outside of the... obvious how was uh how was the trip safe wise and obviously made it home and everything like that yeah no i mean it was yeah it was good to go up and hang out with him for we were only going to do it for like a day and a half because we thought that's all like the like the stamina and energy that he would have you know but we ended up extending it for a couple days and got know we were there like six and a half hours one day eight hours nine hours the next day so it was good it was good to hang out with good spend time with him
03:10:35
Speaker
Hell yeah, man. Hell that The reason for the trip sucked, but the trip itself you know was good. I was trying not to bother and of course we had our own and bullshit going on here, but Jersey was keeping me up to date on everything. i was like, I want to check on Moe, dog, but I don't want to bother him, and Jersey was keeping me up to date. so yeah She's a good egg, man.
03:11:01
Speaker
desperate She's dealing with some family shit herself right now. So actually, I'm to stay on here, but I'm going to mute for a second.
03:11:13
Speaker
I'll be right back. This is like everybody's going through some kind of shit right now. hu it's it's It's like kind of is. Yeah, i'll go through shit I feel bad because like I'm like, man, life is great. I got a good job. I got a good woman.
03:11:31
Speaker
got cool people to hang out with on the podcast but i've also but i've also been going through shit for like the last several years like man it was like i was gonna say you gotta you gotta break that's a good thing and just because you're doing better than other
Family Dynamics and Humor
03:11:49
Speaker
people around you doesn't mean you you know where they're at you know you can empathize with them you know Yeah, that was i was a you know a friend of mine hit me up today, and that was what what she said. She was like, you've been really going through it the last few years, and now all of a sudden you're like riding high.
03:12:09
Speaker
And I'm like, yeah.
03:12:14
Speaker
Can't keep getting kicked in the dick that much. You know what? It happens for all of us. think it is hard to... see the fake people sometimes yeah fake people are fucking insane
03:12:32
Speaker
um i'm a real boy i'm a real boy i'm a real boy i a real boy papa what's brett you guys gonna be going for a little bit or you getting to shut it down We're literally only three hours in.
03:12:51
Speaker
We have another three hours to go. Alright. Well, I'll probably be back then. You'll be back. I might not be I'll be front. Thanks for showing up, Modoc.
03:13:03
Speaker
I don't know what I'm doing. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. I'll probably see you guys in a little bit. so big honestly i don't i don't know what i'm doing i probably see you guys in a little bit We'll be here. marman Thank you for showing up. Thanks for showing up. Brittany doesn't
Stand-up Comedy Techniques
03:13:25
Speaker
know what she's doing.
03:13:27
Speaker
No, not at all. thought Brittany was in control the show tonight. Bitch, this is your fucking show.
03:13:37
Speaker
What does Lazy always say? Brittany, get control of your panel. but It's important to say it. That was hell an impersonation. That was sounded just like his little bitch. It did not sound anything like me. Like, you just fucking settle down.
03:13:52
Speaker
buts good You just settle your big ass down. not going to laugh at that. I won't laugh at that. Okay, you better not laugh that, Brittany. Brittany. I said it was on point.
03:14:05
Speaker
She's laughing. I knew it. I fucking knew she was going to break. You can't hide the snort. You can't hide that shit. I'm whispering to you, Shaman Jed. I can't hear me. That was on point.
03:14:18
Speaker
sp off that Thank you. no like You're completely cheating out of me with my co-host. like yeah that is I just upgraded. That's all I did. lee wall The Lazy Flicks fans page is still a thing.
03:14:34
Speaker
It keeps our lights on. You know, if you're close with him now, you don't get to eat gluten anymore. So good luck with that. Yeah, bitch. good Yeah, bitch. Brittany knows. Eat gluten. He's going to love it.
03:14:48
Speaker
With his white face. great I deal with his life. He's got to deal with me eating gluten. Nope. No, no gluten in your life. I'm i'm joining the fall club, I guess.
03:15:02
Speaker
Damn right,
Panelist Camaraderie and Humor
03:15:03
Speaker
Brittany. We're going all the way. We're going to fucking make it. All the way where? Top of the charts. Top of the charts. We're more than I'm going to have babysitters kids.
03:15:18
Speaker
Too far. Too far. What did you say, Brittany? What's too far? Too far is not far enough as far as I'm concerned. Okay. lay you need some but ever since like i've known that i've i'm getting the the start of the the stand-up act in ohio i've just been like non-stop thinking jokes and stories that's what you gotta do that's exactly the right mentality britney give us a little taste i can't are you shaking them up yeah you know what just the tip
03:16:00
Speaker
You can't give a taste to somebody that has no palate. You're welcome. Thank you. Well, there's there's a story about how I shut my... Okay, never mind. I remember that story. i remember that story i know couldn't.
03:16:14
Speaker
I've been asking people... Honestly, a great fucking story, too, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It has legs and... the The shit was definitely running down them. Wait, what?
03:16:28
Speaker
with what
03:16:31
Speaker
who What? The fuck did you just say?
03:16:37
Speaker
That's more of a Sasquatch joke. Yeah, i know. That's
Childhood Stories and Humor
03:16:43
Speaker
why I'm like, most my jokes are about shit or church.
03:16:48
Speaker
and Shit or church. I mean, those kind of that that's kind of synonymous. right They run together, right? You know? Just a little sample of like your stand-up. like Seriously, one joke and we'll all shut the fuck up.
03:17:04
Speaker
How do I get for the main stage? Okay. well i little l Just part of Hold on. Fuck, dude. No, I'm doing it.
03:17:15
Speaker
You're doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it well. was raised. I was raised. Oh, wait. Was he from Brooklyn or was she from Brooklyn? Ask.
03:17:27
Speaker
she move william yes You're making my fucking Tourette's stick out. And I know you're doing it on purpose. No, no, no, no, no. I promise you. I'm not doing.
03:17:38
Speaker
I would. I want to just, ah just a small sample of your standup. That's all I want. I promise. I'm not trying to trigger you. No, I'm not going to say it straight out the way I'm going to say it. New Year's Eve, I am going to trigger the fuck out. Have you have you seen are you seen those videos where like the the girl has that gag reflex or whatever, and like her dad will go around videotaping her and then making her like basically almost throw up everywhere?
03:18:05
Speaker
yeah Oh, yeah. yeah the That's her husband, dude. The guy who's like, and then she's like, yeah. yeah
03:18:15
Speaker
Don't make Britney throw up. She can't afford to use any more weight. Best co-host ever.
Church Camp Stories
03:18:23
Speaker
but really I really can't. What I'm going to start with is You know how people say to ah address the elephant in the room?
03:18:38
Speaker
I'm going to say to address the giraffe in the room just because ah am so at park
03:18:48
Speaker
No, that's so bad. Don't interrupt. don' up we She's giving us a little sneak peek. I just want to let people know, yes, I know I'm fucking skinny. yeah have health issues.
03:19:02
Speaker
I'm trash. Fuck off. Just so people aren't like thinking about it the whole time. and I'm going to make a few jokes about that.
03:19:15
Speaker
Because I'm not i' not playing embarrassed about it. I just wanted you to make a joke. I just wanted you to do one joke. No, because I don't want to i don't want to release it yet.
03:19:30
Speaker
But there are a lot of church camp jokes. and There's a lot of church... And shit jokes. Listen, Lazy loves church jokes.
03:19:43
Speaker
He loves church. Do I? Well, I was a youth leader and a lot of my girls, a well, actually all of the girls that I watched over were teen moms.
03:19:57
Speaker
that way Wait, was that before after you youth coached them? I hate to watch
Podcast Dynamics Humor
03:20:04
Speaker
you go. Right after they all got pregnant. They were twerking upside down at church camp.
03:20:13
Speaker
in our room. They're just trying to really get on that Holy Spirit. Damn, I should have gone to church camp. Yeah, you should have. You're not allowed there, Shaman. Don't even attempt.
03:20:29
Speaker
I did a great job. It was in North Carolina, too. what We never do over church camp. is that Is that an absence-only state?
03:20:40
Speaker
I don't know. absence-only dude, that was during and that's the only way they teach birth control is abstinence. on Remember that one that was really good.
03:20:53
Speaker
Now, but yeah, no, there was this. way Get a room, bro. He just growling at your girlfriend. That's crazy. Oh my God. I'm gonna meet him again.
03:21:07
Speaker
I didn't know I'd growl at her. Shut up. Run it back. Run it back. He's like, rawr. Did I growl at her? I'm a homotager, baby. Good, baby. Good. want to find my Sasquatch? He Sasquatched the fuck out of her.
03:21:30
Speaker
Wait, did did I growl at her? Yes. Poor fucking You fucking animal. You're definitely doing your mating call, bro. That's all i'm saying. And we're all disgusted by I don't know. a little turned on right now. A shaman likes that. you
Animal Jokes and Co-host Interactions
03:21:49
Speaker
Yeah. yeah yeah Your growl brings all the shamans to the My growl brings all the shamans to the yard.
03:21:59
Speaker
ah's probably thats That's a good almond. She's dying over here, Jedi. you need to go to this fucking... I want to be fucking mad. I'm not kidding.
03:22:18
Speaker
You really fucking need to go. to the New York's Eve thing. I know you have a a wife and family and all that jazz, but... Yeah, I could get rid of them.
03:22:29
Speaker
I got Etsy. I can sell them. No, T-Mews. thanks Well, I made some of the people, and I made it myself. Oh, okay. You get a higher price.
03:22:44
Speaker
We are dying over here, Jedi. Okay, Glick.
03:22:50
Speaker
okay good Your girlfriend's cat looks exactly like my cat, and I fucking hate cats. My my wife. Oh, you've got twin pussies. We do. Literally identical.
03:23:01
Speaker
like Why do you hate cats? I don't hate them. I just don't like them lot. You just said you fucking hate cats. Usually, like, evil people don't like cats. You've got to be, like, a bad person. My cats love me. My cats fucking swat. I have two cats, or my family does.
03:23:18
Speaker
I don't take any of them. No, really. wow la They love me so much and I don't know why. I'm like, I despise my existence
Personal Quirks Jokes
03:23:29
Speaker
and they just keep like, I just want to fucking be cut by you. like i'm I'm their favorite and I don't know why.
03:23:36
Speaker
it drives me nuts. chinese sp yeah I feel like every time I put her in my lap, I feel like Dr. Evil for Mr. Bengals. I fucking hate that. Did you know that's one of my tics?
03:23:55
Speaker
if I put my pinkies out. Like one of my Tourette's dicks. I'm again. Do it again for a second.
03:24:06
Speaker
I don't have anything against cats. You got like two pinkies taped together. But is this cat, like ah first from the first, I don't know, 10 minutes I was here, she... Yeah, she's a Cali.
03:24:24
Speaker
yeah she's a callie
03:24:27
Speaker
basically told kayla to go fuck herself because literally that looks identical to my cats so cute i had to put my cat down just like a month ago so i'm just one fact all calicos are females I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Shaman. All calicos are females. Is that a thing? I did not know that.
03:24:48
Speaker
yeah and Yeah, like 98% of calicos are cats. of cats are cats.
03:25:01
Speaker
The other 2% don't have hands. The other 2% are confused squirrels. They're just some lost beavers.
03:25:12
Speaker
Hey, dude. just some lost beaver oh age i was trying to sound smart because i was gonna that was your first mistake because we knew you were never gonna sound smart up oh my but sticking fucking breath
03:25:42
Speaker
shut up oh my yeah oh my oh my god um
03:25:55
Speaker
yeah awesome I almost pulled a certain cocks. I was laughing that hard. I almost started.
03:26:06
Speaker
Welcome to Saturday night, baby. This is her first whole-on experience with the Saturday night boy. Oh, really? Oh, did did you prepare her mentally for this? tried to.
03:26:20
Speaker
Like, hey, babe, this is getting real fucking weird. Don't ask questions. Don't judge any of us. I said, please don't bring up with me. Don't bring with me.
03:26:33
Speaker
Saturday nights are, yeah, they're Saturday nights. Saturday nights are like Vegas. What happens on Saturday nights stays on Saturday nights.
03:26:44
Speaker
i can't believe. They usually trails until Sunday morning. You have those Sunday morning
Cultural Differences and Humor
03:26:52
Speaker
memories of Saturday. day i usually start What memories? What are you talking about? Brittany's correct. There we go. That's the attitude we all need. What are you talking about? I didn't even know Saturday was the day of the week.
03:27:07
Speaker
I don't know remember anything about Saturday. On Sundays, I usually start... was Oh, Brittany. Saturday nights. Anything that happened last night, I would like to apologize for.
03:27:19
Speaker
Nobody on the panel or in the chat. um There's no need to apologize for something that never happened because Saturday doesn't really exist, okay? Saturday doesn't exist.
03:27:30
Speaker
Saturday's like Canadians. They don't exist. yeah saturday Saturday's the mulligan of the week. We all get a mulligan once in while, right? thank you They don't even know what day like Thanksgiving is.
03:27:43
Speaker
It's Thursday. It's always Thursday. yeah and I heard it's falling on a Friday this year. It's in October for Canadians. why That's not even a real country. Yeah, it's not real. What is it?
03:28:00
Speaker
Yeah, it's like Narnia. Yeah, they got pre-minstrels. That's the 51st state, so they have to celebrate the same time as the rest of us. Come on, man. Yeah, they're called PMs.
03:28:15
Speaker
They even have a president. They got PMs over there. yeah Yeah. What's PMs stand for? Pre-minstrels. They're just waiting for the S. Crime Minister.
03:28:30
Speaker
It wasn't funny. Yeah,
Stand-up Comedy Techniques
03:28:32
Speaker
you're not showing up to the stand-up act. Lazy J, you're welcome. Shama got pre-banned.
03:28:41
Speaker
but No ticket for you, son. Oh, man. That's funny. Wait, can Shama be my plus one?
03:28:54
Speaker
I'll think about it. I'll think about it. Fucking dictator Brittany. Yeah, I want to go because I want to heckle her. See what she's really made of.
03:29:05
Speaker
Oh, please. would prefer that because Michael, he's he I've been talking to him a lot. oh I like doing crowd work, but he thinks it's for lazy.
03:29:20
Speaker
No, me and him got into a big debate about that last night too. because i i yeah Crowd work is an art, man. It is. and If you can work with the people, like it's like, know, but there are people that are like, I have cancer and you're like, oh, fuck.
03:29:40
Speaker
I have the ways to work out of it. Well, you gotta learn to make cancer funny, you know? yeah Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. um And he he just doesn't...
03:29:56
Speaker
He doesn't like that type of.
03:30:00
Speaker
I prefer it. So part of my stand up is going to be crowd work. I agree with that 100%. You got it, Brittany. You got it. I think you'd be good at that, too.
03:30:11
Speaker
Like the way you are. I mean, just being on panel, you're always thinking on your feet. you know what i mean? Like that's just the natural progression of it. Right. Right.
Upcoming Roast Plans
03:30:20
Speaker
and so he He just thinks like, oh, you don't have material. Every time he's streaming comes back, he comes in ass first.
03:30:27
Speaker
I do know first. He backs it in. He backs back into the... That's how he walks when he's shopping at Walmart, too. It is. It really is. a ah do He backs into the self-checkout. I knew I was looking for it. was like, it's lighted.
03:30:48
Speaker
Let me go ahead back that shit up on him. I won't want you to back that ass up. Yeah. I won't want you to back that ass up.
03:30:59
Speaker
Oh, I saw that
03:31:03
Speaker
You're a big fine squatch. Won't you back that ass up? No, he ruined it. You're a hard to find saskatch. Won't you back that ass up?
03:31:17
Speaker
I love how retarded Saturdays get. It's fun. It's stupid. Y'all had a good day, Yeah?
03:31:30
Speaker
yeah Yeah, we were having a good day. I'm here. Everybody's having good day.
03:31:37
Speaker
Wait, is that your stand-up? I'm sorry. Is that your stand-up? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that was that's all she's ah yall Well, we just got to see Glick sit down, so we should be able to see Brittany stand up.
03:31:54
Speaker
I'm not going to let it all
Podcasting Experiences and Humor
03:31:56
Speaker
out right now. I'm just getting a little tip. I swear to God, Brittany starts her stand up, if she starts her set with, y'all having a good day, I will stand and be like, you're goddamn right they are.
03:32:10
Speaker
I'm here now.
03:32:13
Speaker
i Glick, you are so nervous about this roast. I'm not nervous about it. He is. He's so fucking nervous about it, bro. Walk off the stage. He said two seconds.
03:32:27
Speaker
yeah aye has played out on this podcast. Like, everything they have on me and everything they're gonna roast me about. What's up, MoDog? MoDog! Well, the good thing about a roast is that you get your chance afterwards to go ahead and talk shit to everybody too.
03:32:45
Speaker
That's what I'm trying to do. I want to have, like, a back-and-forth roast between... gla me and Michael and whoever shows up. You want to do like an open panel type roast where you guys say what you say and then in the moment. Let me get up on that motherfucker.
03:33:06
Speaker
Buy ticket, bitch. Freestyler of all time. Sorry, Eminem. freestyler of all time sorry i and m But you're going to allow the greatest freestyle of all time. yeah I'm with this motherfucker talking about it was that like m and i'm literally wow you okay with it. If there's sweater already, I'm okay. me. Show me.
03:33:32
Speaker
and yeah funny i'll throw
Relationship Humor
03:33:34
Speaker
anything you're gonna you when you'nna get me out tony is not a ro how What? You're going to allow me to snap back on like... Yeah.
03:33:46
Speaker
Everybody gets this chance to say the thing back when they're getting roasted. But you've got to take all the gunfire until you get your chance. I'll take all the gunfire. Thank you. Thank you.
03:33:57
Speaker
Yeah, bitch, whatever. You said you were going to walk off stage if we fucking took it to you. What? Oh my god. You are as bad as fucking at addict that I used to know.
03:34:11
Speaker
There's somebody that I used to know. Damn it. When the minute you said it, that song dropped in my head. Isn't that song about kayaks? My words. Something that I used to, bro. Twist my words to make it fish your narrative.
03:34:29
Speaker
At the end of the day, you got my name in your mouth and that's all the reason you get attention. What? It's going to be fine. about roses yeah he is he really is that's gonna be fine You're make it through.
03:34:47
Speaker
I mean, they're going to send your beer a little bit. think You're to the fire. I'm actually excited for it. And I love. No, you're not. You're 0% excited.
03:35:01
Speaker
I mean, excuse me. We've tried to do this. We've tried to do the roast on this show multiple times. And I've come And you walk away crying. What?
03:35:12
Speaker
No, it was a bad connection, okay? It was a bad connection. It was the people that were going run. It's different person. were just fucking Rage quit in three, two, one. Bye, Gwik.
03:35:24
Speaker
What? I'm going through a tunnel. I can't hear you. but Got a bad connection. I'm going to put Brittany in control of this. Get that bitch out of the driver's seat.
03:35:37
Speaker
She can't even see her. Can I ask y'all panel bridge send up send all your positive thoughts to Jersey, man? Her and her family could use it tonight. You don't have to message her or anything. just Just keep her in your thoughts.
03:35:48
Speaker
Jersey, if you get your ears on, we love you, girl. Jersey, we love you. yeah don't She said she was going to bed, so i don't know if she's here or not. but Jersey, we love We love the shit out of Jersey. I'm just going to send her a message that says we love you, Jersey.
03:36:05
Speaker
That's all. hang got Paco the positive taco. There you go. It says it's okay to fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them.
03:36:16
Speaker
Tiny taco has your back whenever you need a pick-me-up. I named him Paco because it rhymes with a taco. I'm seeing those things everywhere, man.
03:36:28
Speaker
i was in a I was somewhere a week ago and some lady had a positive potato thing like that on her thing. And then there was a cucumber next to it. I'm like,
03:36:40
Speaker
and an eggplant No, I said a cucumber, not an eggplant.
03:36:48
Speaker
Not everybody's brain works like yours.
Saturday Night Antics
03:36:50
Speaker
I may or may not try to give Kayla eggplant. Based on this panel, most people's brains don't work at all. alright it's a why It's like a mini shrimp.
03:37:02
Speaker
It's
03:37:05
Speaker
not very big. oh yeah It's like when it just sprouts. i was like yeah yeah yeah It's like a bean sprout that you get and when you're at the Chinese restaurant and you're like, what the fuck is this? I mean, it's it's nice and I like it, but what the fuck is this?
03:37:21
Speaker
It's pretty. It's cute. It really don't serve a purpose. I respect your honesty, baby. I'm doing it. Wait a minute. like, no, it's it's it's big.
03:37:34
Speaker
i'm like It's cute. A little bigger. It looks just like a dick.
03:37:40
Speaker
It's almost a peanut. Kayla's like, it grows quite nicely and it does the job. and and I love her honesty.
03:37:50
Speaker
I've always said you don't have to hit rock bottom. You just got to knock the fuck out of the sides, man. yeah and And learn how to lick your forehead. That always helps. Yeah, that's that's a good one.
03:38:01
Speaker
also I also don't feel like the retard from Goonies screaming into a cave.
03:38:10
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello. There you go. There you go. You better watch out. Somebody will answer back. Help, I've been in here for years. Wait, who said a car keys are these, man?
03:38:22
Speaker
I'm not used to hitting both sides at the same time, all right? My brain hurts. I might be back. I'm going to dip out for a bit. Did you just make the scissoring movement?
03:38:35
Speaker
i was going to say, of course I did. My brain hurts. Now I know sign language. a um sure You need to learn sign language. It's a good thing to do. Wait, you're not dropping because came up, are you, Britt?
03:38:52
Speaker
No, no, no, not at all. I'm just kind of hungry. She decreases water with water. And like, my brain is just like... yeah and Chicken or chicken? I know, it's it's hit or miss on what day of the week it is, whether Britt, you know, like... Tolerates me or not.
03:39:11
Speaker
Oh, no, dude, you're good. You are good. Do not worry about that whatsoever. Just Saturdays, like, just get to sometimes. I that even haven't been on my medications. know Saturdays just sneak up. i like I thought it was going to be two Sundays in a row, but turns out there's a Saturday. Fuck off, Jedi.
03:39:32
Speaker
Fuck off. I will never do that long thing again. I love a guy. No, don't, don't you withhold that from me, Brittany. How dare you? What the Amish chicken say?
03:39:42
Speaker
Fuck off. no yeah
03:39:47
Speaker
I'm not even going to bring up that chick again.
03:39:51
Speaker
Oh, that is one of the comedians that I want to, i don't know why I'm talking to you like that. Talking about Michael. This other stream that I used to do There's ah another comedian that I want to bring in He's pretty funny He's the one that came up with the Bricocks thing He came up with It was his idea Yeah I said sarcasm I give a fuck Bye Britt But yeah no I'm gonna eat some stuff and I might be back if y'all are still on We're gonna eat some stuff later on tonight too
03:40:30
Speaker
It's Taco Saturday.
03:40:33
Speaker
She's not able to do it when she heard that. I don't remember. She's got a big old grin on her face.
03:40:45
Speaker
I guess. like Thanks for stopping in talk. See you, Britt. Be good. I hate happy click is what Brittany said.
03:40:57
Speaker
I almost ended the fucking stream. I will punch you in your face. I've done that before. yeah Take care, Blaze.
03:41:06
Speaker
In this goddamn stream. I swear to God, Brady, I'll punch you in your face. ah love you, but I'll punch you in your face. but's how I almost did. i almost did. i almost said wow Here's a joke for you.
03:41:22
Speaker
She's like, I'm done. Click. Leave Syria. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'll do it. I got it. No.
03:41:33
Speaker
He don't trust her. He's like, I'll do it. I got it. I got it. I can't kick her. I can't kick her. Do not in the stream, Brittany. Just leave.
03:41:45
Speaker
just Just hit the refresh button on your laptop. be like Be like Rex. Just
Comedic Podcast Dynamics
03:41:50
Speaker
rage quit. bri Jesus Christ. My heart stopped.
03:41:56
Speaker
yeah go I thought you left Hit the goddamn refresh button Just leave
03:42:04
Speaker
Fuck you bitch I'm gonna spit my fucking beer out She just popped back up Like one of those fucking fuzzy haired trolls again Oh my god On New Year's Eve I'm just gonna come on stage and Pow Remember that October, what is today's date?
03:42:25
Speaker
24th. 25th. 25th. Oh, ah let's go. Take me the house, baby. Let's go. mars What are they doing?
03:42:36
Speaker
What's the score? ah I don't have it on. Bitch. 30 to 13. Marshall just had a big run.
03:42:47
Speaker
Marshall's winning? No. I was going to say, God damn. yeah They can't beat Marshall? Fuck. No, Marshall's the running back.
03:42:59
Speaker
Oh, I thought you said they were okay but you said they were playing Marshall. No, Michigan's playing Michigan State. We're playing little brother.
03:43:11
Speaker
You're going to watch that Jake Vaughn fight?
03:43:17
Speaker
Javante Davis, I believe?
03:43:21
Speaker
I won't be. Wait, what? 75-year-old washed-up MMA fighter? Jake Paul fighting?
Sports and Personal Stories
03:43:30
Speaker
No, he's fighting a boxer. But he's like a mini-league or something. i don't know. so ah So he's fighting anyway be under his weight class.
03:43:41
Speaker
Uh-huh. And yeah, Jake Paul's a fucking joke.
03:43:48
Speaker
He's an absolute joke. And i and i and I'm disgusted that and You know, and I'm a wrestling fan and I'll give Logan Paul all the credit in the world. Logan Paul came into the WWE.
03:44:01
Speaker
The dude, did the dude fucking shows up and shows out. Yeah, he holds his own, man. yeah he he he put He's great on the mic. He's great in the ring.
03:44:11
Speaker
but Oh, man. God, I would love to fucking fight that dude in an alley. and and And in a movie that doesn't exist, but some people think that Rocky V exists.
03:44:22
Speaker
I know Rocky 5 doesn't exist. it's not even a real movie. But ah some people say that Rocky fight this douchebag Billy in an alley. I'd like to fight Jake Paul in an alley.
03:44:37
Speaker
A well-lit alley. Not even a dark one. Yeah, not necessarily a dark one and ah in ah in the hood. Like in a rich neighborhood. Yeah, because you want to punch a bitch and see him cry.
03:44:49
Speaker
Yeah, I want to i want i want to absolutely for real punch a bitch right in this fucking cock holster. I don't think you'll find him in any dark alleys. I can go to the rich white neighborhood in Cleveland and find him. Yeah, because that's a small ass neighborhood.
03:45:06
Speaker
yeah I mean, that's where LeBron James is from. That's it's like what? 23 fucking houses in it or some shit?
03:45:20
Speaker
ah One black kid and in an entire rich neighborhood was LeBron James. LePron. LePron. well look bron 31 to 13.
03:45:33
Speaker
Let's go. fuck hurt Yeah!
03:45:38
Speaker
Ron taught in the crowd in East Lansing. He's hurt the fucking NBA worse than the fucking mafia has, man.
03:45:46
Speaker
We're talking about that tomorrow. I know ain't nobody ready for that conversation, especially... well You know what kills me is all the people that act like they're confused or like shocked by this shit. Like, seriously? brilliant Yeah.
03:45:58
Speaker
You're shocked that there's like some, you know, illegal shit going on with sports and gambling and betting. They ruined boxing. love boxing in the 90s, but the mob absolutely ruined boxing.
03:46:13
Speaker
Yep. And people are just like, wait, what? We're shocked. The NBA, really? You're really that surprised by the NBA? An entire fucking sports league that is built on money?
03:46:24
Speaker
Right. ah Like, I mean, LeBron James did a whole fucking on yeah ESPN special. I'm taking my South Florida. Shut up, douchebag.
03:46:37
Speaker
they They build a fucking team around you to win a championship. And then you try to do the same thing L.A. and it hasn't panned out.
03:46:48
Speaker
you came to You came back to Cleveland and you won a championship with a bunch of uh role players which is what michael jordan did his entire career so i don't like michael jordan well i don't like michael jordan for multiple reasons but but that's all michael jordan did you put him on any other team in the 90s and michael jordan doesn't win six rings michael jordan may not win one ring yeah yeah
03:47:16
Speaker
unless you put him on the spurs with uh stockton and malone
03:47:22
Speaker
He might have got a couple rings in San Antonio. Shaman, what the fuck you doing over there, man? ah sort of like I heard his ass last night running two different lines of coke, man. He ain't fooling nobody.
03:47:34
Speaker
he's He's touching his butt. I heard that motherfucker straight up like snort that shit off the mirror, man. I'm touching my butthole. Again?
03:47:46
Speaker
you put cayenne pepper on this time? No. to put cayne pepper on it this time but Spice it up. Yeah, it's spicy. Yep.
03:48:00
Speaker
We got one of those hot shit. you So chimichanga, what? Chimichanga in your asshole. that Man, I've done that shit. Well, not chimichanga in my asshole. ohve i've oh I've had like, i hearded it I heard it as soon as it came out of my mouth, man.
03:48:23
Speaker
ah but my oh done that yeah No, when when I was in the core, man, we were like, we were, you know, fucking tasting all the young guys with, you know, with fucking pepper spray and shit. I had been doing that shit for like three hours and it was all over my fucking hands.
03:48:42
Speaker
Didn't think about it. Went went in, whipped my shit out to take a piss and I thought the world was coming to a fucking end. so i was yeah i did that with like some icy hot or something yeah so So I was introduced to have a week when the first weekend I was here, right, baby?
03:49:01
Speaker
The first weekend I came here. er I feel like ah feel like there's a pegging story coming on. so I'm not a pegging story. Hold on. No, I'm not a Marine. Apparently. According to what you just said. It's only with chimichangas, damn it.
03:49:17
Speaker
yeah It was the first weekend I was here when we, Krista with the corn. So her cousin made corn on the cob with jalapenos. She put jalapenos in the guac.
03:49:34
Speaker
So, and then. Like Mexican street corn or did you say she put it in the guac? No, no, no, no, and you know how you boil porn on the cob and and and and the pan yeah ah jalapena is in there with jalamanno jews i'm like this okay okay so then the very next the very the first time it was the first time you cooked for me yeah first time um will cook for me she was like what else do you want to go with it i' was like i know i'll kind of want that corner in the car because it's like a little little little nice bit of spice. I'm going somewhere here with this story.
03:50:09
Speaker
So the other night I cooked dinner at the at the house for the kids and and all of us. and And I told the kids, i was like, when you get done eating the corn, go wash your hands.
03:50:20
Speaker
Because if you don't, you're going to like touch your eyes, you're going to take a piss, or whatever you're going to And you've got jalapeno. And the kids looked at me like I was crazy. And I was like,
03:50:32
Speaker
I promise you, you're going want to wash your hands. This is a trust dad situation. Yeah, listen to what dad says. this is This is a life lesson that you need to learn and you need to listen and not the hard way at the end of the day.
03:50:49
Speaker
Or you could fuck around and find out. Or you can fuck around and find out, which is hilarious. But what I was telling the kids to go wash their hands He was over here. He's sitting beside me on the couch going, really?
03:51:08
Speaker
aye Should we?
03:51:11
Speaker
They're not going to listen to you. And the dad in me is like, God, they should really listen to me The asshole in me was like, yeah I hope they don't listen to me. That's when you say it like one time, you say it quietly so that when they do it, you can say, i fucking told you, man. oh I fucking told you.
03:51:29
Speaker
um I might've, I might've said it three rooms away from you, but you know, I told you, I said it, I said it And my son was like, what? and And he was the one that I was really worried about because he's 12. So he's at that age.
03:51:41
Speaker
You know what mean? Yeah. One thing that never stops. Once you hit that age, he was like, what? And i was like, wash your hands after you eat the corn. Because had to learn that lesson the hard way when I was 12, 13 years old.
03:51:56
Speaker
So it was like, wash your hands, bro. Wash your hands. For real. who who was the ah Who was the comedian with the jalapeno? to always say, jalapeno on a stick.
03:52:08
Speaker
He was that guy? Yeah, Jeff Donald.
03:52:12
Speaker
Get some jalapeno on your stick. Yeah, you're going to thank me later for this, homie. I promise you.
03:52:21
Speaker
It's because we're a guy who used to cook with jalapenos a lot back in the day. It was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. And I didn't even do it like that. and I just went and pissed.
03:52:32
Speaker
The next time I went and took a piss, it was, oh, the fires of hell. Exactly. The next time I went and took a piss, it was, I'm pissing right now.
03:52:45
Speaker
you're echo you're You're echoing too. Yeah, you're echoing too, bro. Stop doing Is that your dick? Just repeating you? Hey, his dick is listening to this show.
03:52:57
Speaker
Michael, do you have a repeater?
03:53:07
Speaker
it's two nights in a row I'm drinking beer, man. That's unusual. Oh, what are you doing? I'm going to get a beer belly. Shit, i already I already got a beer belly and don't drink beer, really.
03:53:19
Speaker
I'm in shape. Brown's a shape, right? Yeah, it rounds a shape. I mean, it's not the shape of the Earth, but, you know. The Earth is flat.
03:53:31
Speaker
The Earth is flat, goddammit.
03:53:36
Speaker
Well, they say the Earth is curved, so, you know. Well, yeah, even on a flat Earth, if it is technically a circle. <unk>d be i like i like my It would have still been correct. I just wanted to throw flat Earth out there.
03:53:48
Speaker
I like my earth like I like my women. Yo. Yo. Hawk
03:53:55
Speaker
to it. Hawk to it. Yeah, yo. Yo. Where Jedi goes? Is he out jerking off again, man? You know he is. Tell another church camp story.
03:54:09
Speaker
get theater ah Michigan State. It's cute that you're still trying. He's going to make a church camp story. That's but The shit's like Beetlejuice, Shaman. Stop.
03:54:25
Speaker
I've often said if I had brains, I'd be dangerous. I keep having the YouTube open while I'm jumping in the room. not I am not a smart man. Did you ever get on the pool table yet?
03:54:38
Speaker
Dude, I've been fucking running that bitch. I lost once all night long. Sounds like a hell of a Halloween party.
03:54:46
Speaker
um market that go fuck yourself I thought you just out drinking at the bar. in on the bar I'm drinking at the bar listening to the Southern Outlaws band.
03:54:58
Speaker
I'm having one more smoke outside before I go back inside, collect my new wife, and make her drive my drunk ass home. And then I'm going to share with you the video of me singing with a motherfucking, well,
03:55:09
Speaker
i don't know if it's called singing what I was doing, but I was performing with the Southern Outlaws band. You were singing. i know Do, do, do, do, do. do, do.
03:55:24
Speaker
Oh, Michael, I got to talk to you about something from last night. Do, do. I did that. I did that on purpose, just so you know. yeah you're Yeah, I know you did, and you're in trouble.
03:55:36
Speaker
I can't wait. Are you going to spank me, Daddy? Yes. Please spank me, Papa. Yes. Can you do it on the stream? yeah yes Yes. Don't cross the streams.
03:55:50
Speaker
I'm going to spank him live on the stream. Let's go! Yes. Oh, you know what I did. Yeah. yeah I wondered how you feel about that. You know what you did to do. Yes. He just remembered.
03:56:05
Speaker
Whatever it was, he just remembered. So the answer to your question, am I being serious or am I fucking around? Yes. And hey, hey, hey, like you're welcome.
03:56:16
Speaker
That's what I do. You're not welcome. Welcome. you You brought a leech on your street. I don't know. What do think, Shaman? I think it's kind of unfair to bring shit up like that and not tell us what the fuck they're talking about.
03:56:27
Speaker
He doesn't like one of the co-hosts. I wouldn't say he doesn't like one of the co-hosts. It's not rude to your panel hosts or anything. I fucking hate that Arliss guy. That motherfucking Arliss guy.
03:56:41
Speaker
I'm just saying, you know, this something you guys want to share with the whole class? move Arliss is my older, dumber, much uglier brother. And I love that son of a bitch.
03:56:51
Speaker
I hate the co-host. You hate me. And I get it. and Because I'm better than you at everything. And you don't fucking like it because you got this big ass ego.
03:57:04
Speaker
And you think you're the big dick. I mean, you guys guys are like ah like the Paul brothers. Or they take Paul and Logan Paul. You got to semi-perform with them. But think the other day, we all know what you had to do to do that. And they came to me to do what I did.
03:57:28
Speaker
I didn't ask him. I'd call on whoever I want. I'd call on whoever I want. but That's what I'm saying.
03:57:36
Speaker
I'm just fucking with you. Calm down. hey drew No, you calm down, motherfucker. You calm down, motherfucker. Fuck this. It's you or me. There's not room for both of us. Fuck it. Sword fight. Yeah, you were taking a drink, you son of a bitch. Choke on it, motherfucker.
03:57:50
Speaker
My dick's bigger than your dick. I agree. Let's have a pissing contest. I am sick and tired of you talking about your big, fat, fucking two-inch hog.
03:58:01
Speaker
It makes us guys with little dicks look bad. bad I'm sorry. I apologize for my big, fat two-inch hog. Hey, just beware when he starts talking to you about wanting to fucking show you a four-skin trick.
03:58:12
Speaker
Just fucking saying. Oh, I showed him the four-skin trick. On his way. to joke on him I've got a five-skin. yeah susan Susan said you're up, love. ah ah you yeah Are you going to go sing again? No. i gotta go with some more a i lost I lost one game and now I got to go take that table back until Susan's a fuckface and I'm going to Go play pool and take your drunk ass home.
03:58:41
Speaker
I'm not taking my ass anywhere. I'm putting my ass in the passenger seat because I am a drunk ass. So don't fucking shut that shit down before fucking midnight. 1230. so up there but we heard I have spoken.
03:59:00
Speaker
You heard that, right? I heard something. You better put that shit in the bank, man. i heard Jedi put the fucking hand lotion down and get your ass back up here yeah you better hurry up Jedi because I gotta head out I'm a half hour past my bed it's way past Shaman's bedtime he's gotta go work at White Castles I'm sorry Crystals at 10 in the morning you guys don't have a White Castle I think we do where you at you're you're in Florida right yeah
03:59:33
Speaker
yeah um I don't think you have White Castle. You got Crystals though. I think we just got a White Castle. on There's like two of them or some shit. That's unfortunate.
03:59:45
Speaker
Yeah, you're a bitch. Shut your mouth. I'm not eating there anyway, so it doesn't matter.
03:59:51
Speaker
Only time I ever eat White Castle was like three in the morning on a fucking drunk night. When it's the only thing fucking... You eat it like when you're not drunk? It's delicious.
04:00:03
Speaker
Oh, you're fucked you're fucked up. I don't like the smell. I don't like i don't like the smell. It's the onions. It is definitely that food that will, you'll you know, five hours later you'll be regretting it. You fucking ate it.
04:00:16
Speaker
No. Yeah, it is. that the Don't try to talk any different. war puffs in get me at the end of All that fast food shit shit not open hours anymore.
04:00:30
Speaker
yeah you're not wrong there either oh yeah You or you want them healthy guys, Sean, when you like cook all your own food? Go out and kill it in the field and shit?
04:00:43
Speaker
um You know, that'd be awesome, but no, I still eat bunch of processed shit. That is the main thing I think fucked up with our country right now.
04:00:57
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. the the Our diets are really fucked. It's crazy. Look at all the shit from like, you know, 50, 60 years ago, man. People fucking ate all the red meat, salt, and butter and shit that they wanted. And, you know, there wasn't a such thing as like high cholesterol, blood pressure. you know, and I still do. And that's why I'll live forever.
04:01:17
Speaker
Well, you know, in Kayla's mind anyway, Kayla, put him on that contract, man. I don't really eat like any fast food because I can't. And then I barely eat out at restaurants.
04:01:32
Speaker
because I'm real picky about that. What happened to Marlon Wayans? What happened to his girl? That's what you're going to get when if I die before you. i mean That's what you get right now. so Would you suspect any of that? She's so high. She's like, this motherfucker.
04:01:50
Speaker
Kayla, don't fuck around. You don't want us out on that 1500 fucking death annuity, man. but
04:01:59
Speaker
My benefits aren't coming up.
04:02:03
Speaker
Imagine your wife killing you for $1,500. Right. she's She's like, fuck, I thought this hit $15 million. Fuck. Right. Oh, my God. this' less zero Oh, my God. I was high when I agreed to this.
04:02:21
Speaker
She gets a car payment out of it. like Right. so I killed this motherfucker for nothing. Damn it, I still can't pay this Hyundai off. Fuck.
04:02:31
Speaker
It didn't even pay off the interest.
04:02:36
Speaker
but but She ain't saying much, but she's smiling.
04:02:46
Speaker
She's like, I i checked. She goes, I checked how many zeros is on that motherfucker. I don't do it. I tried to warn her. That's why she's smiling. Yeah. it's oh yeah I tried to tell her it's special on Saturday night. up in this bitch She's seen a Saturday show before, hasn't she?
04:03:06
Speaker
No, no. this is she's seen This has been actually kind of tame tonight. I know, right? Well, I mean... I mean, it it had its bits pieces, but... i mean The scissoring and the docking and the foreskin. That's what i said. It had its bits and pieces. Yeah, it's a little... i think i think i think um some people
Weekend Humor and Camaraderie
04:03:30
Speaker
kind of kind of got a little shook a couple weeks ago.
04:03:36
Speaker
ah And also, I mean, also Shaman and in Jedi are being rude tonight. who got shook a couple weeks ago typically Typically, they'll put it on there um their YouTube channel. but oh Oh, man.
04:03:51
Speaker
They he didn't do that?
04:03:55
Speaker
No. but um But, I mean, from the um the last the last couple weeks, you know, i some people are a little a little shook.
04:04:07
Speaker
You know, they're trying to figure out the The truth and the lies. Oh, okay. And the lies are elsewhere.
04:04:19
Speaker
i know. I know. I said i mean, I've seen all pretty much all the same people here, so. Yeah, yeah, We got our good ones. We got our diehards. well So, fuck the shook. yeah Brittany was yelling at me earlier. She's like, are you doing a shooting or not? And I'm like, I don't know.
04:04:36
Speaker
I guess you'll have to wait and fucking find out, won't you? Bitch. Depends on how quick Kayla gets that shower.
04:04:45
Speaker
Well, we don't know. She's sitting over there off screen just totally butt ass naked this whole time. that's why gli so That's why he's so distracted. Like he's growling. but
04:04:58
Speaker
but I did not grow. Did I grow? Yeah, you straight up grow. Neither one of us remember. and Hey, I'm fucking here for it, man. growl at your woman with every chance you fucking get. I certain shit i didn't i didn't actually hear the growl. It's that old caveman shit coming out.
04:05:18
Speaker
modog All I want to say is her her response to what you just said was... oh but ah she say Roll that tongue and growl at me, goddammit.
04:05:32
Speaker
I'm not a goddamn pussycat. I'm a Sasquatch. That's not how we growl.
04:05:37
Speaker
o yeah free yeah you gotta be in that You gotta be careful with that, Kayla. Sasquatches like to knock on trees three times and shit. Stop telling all our secrets.
04:05:49
Speaker
That's not a stick. ah
04:05:56
Speaker
She's like, that's okay because this ain't no tree trunk, motherfucker. Wait, what did you say to me? Was that English? fucking i says She said, yeah her first response was, hey love video and I was like, you want to try that English? She said, I'm too high for this shit. You sure you don't want to? What's bad is I think I understood her the first time.
04:06:20
Speaker
im sure as hell didn't. I thought she was thinking like Native American. I had this vision of a purple crayon pop into my head. ah She's speaking maybe What baby?
04:06:35
Speaker
What? just gotta open your ears and listen i Open your ears and listen Glick Shut up Shaman naoss I was listening Don't don't You guys aren't supposed to take your You're my people How does it yeah It hurts How does feel Glick?
04:06:57
Speaker
that's a feel like As he spits in his hand How does it feel? not Not as bad as my own dad. Right? dude i met her i So I met her dad. I met her mom and dad.
04:07:13
Speaker
By the way, her mom is a goddamn saint. And I love her mom to death. But I met her parents for the first time. And I think it was, what, maybe a half hour at that.
04:07:25
Speaker
And her dad said something. And I was like, you know, he's not wrong. And then I made a comment and he agreed with me and she was like, this is bullshit. This is bullshit.
04:07:35
Speaker
but She's a daddy's girl. She is a daddy's girl. almost Most girls are. Bullshit. Both of you guys are agreeing with each other and teaming up on me at the same time. And I don't even know each other.
04:07:50
Speaker
She's like, love me, daddy. Love me. and they And they both answer. oh We both looked at each other. Hold on a second. She's talking to where you like what I got first.
04:08:08
Speaker
I got first on the daddy. I'm daddy number one. Yeah. He's dad and you're daddy. Yeah. Well, he's dad and you're daddy.
04:08:20
Speaker
Hmm.
04:08:25
Speaker
We used to do that shit to fuck with my kids back when I was married. She called me daddy in front of them just to watch them go, you yeah ew. You guys stop it.
04:08:37
Speaker
Mine's daddy. fucking earn that shit I did earn that shit. You're right, baby. heard that. I heard that. his boyfriend then too I She said, I earned that
04:08:52
Speaker
and she said it She said it in that like deep lot lizard voice too, man. don't give a how she said it. It went down a couple of octaves and shit. She's like, he earned that shit. don't give a damn of how she said it. At the end the day, she said it. earned that shit.
04:09:10
Speaker
I did a lot of things that she said I couldn't do. So so needless to say, it went well meeting the parents. Yeah, about the parents. It wasn't like the Fockers show or anything. Did you milk any kittens while you were there? It but wasn't a kitten, but... I have nipples, Focker.
04:09:30
Speaker
Can you milk me, Focker? Alright, so Kayla, we need your honest answer. How did it go with him meeting your parents? it went really good okay well you're You know what? you're You're so fucking high, I can't trust anything you're saying. so Yeah.
04:09:48
Speaker
Let me... let me oh oh why dont oh Can I... I know what you're asking me Can you put a full sentence together? i don't know. wait yeah Without saying it.
04:10:01
Speaker
I'm just going to say it, and I'll deal with the repercussions later. The bar was set very low before me, so came i came but i boom i'm not I'm not wrong in saying that.
04:10:15
Speaker
Yep, she said nope. Yeah, hard tough I heard the tone in which she said that, though. You're going to pay for that shit when this dream is. but but like goddamn saint. Oh, it's fine. yeah no it's Exactly. Shaman nailed it.
04:10:31
Speaker
It's fine, honey. It's fine. If she was a Catholic, if she was Catholic, she would wear St. Glick around her neck. Her family would, too.
Casual Banter and Music Break
04:10:43
Speaker
Kind of like that pearl necklace. You got a few inches there. ah I don't got a few inches to be knocked down. He gave her a bracelet. not neck No, I don't.
04:10:55
Speaker
from From the county fair. ah you You know what I'm wearing when I don't have a few inches to be knocked down. The barber said a little while.
04:11:06
Speaker
Chet, I get your ass out of the comments and get the fuck back up here on panel. I'm not speaking ill anybody. Shaman's trying to go to bed, bitch. shaman Yeah, you fucking bitch. What up, Jedi? Quit clicking your fucking bean and get your ass back up here.
04:11:22
Speaker
I'm just saying. I gotta grab another beer. I'll be right back.
04:11:29
Speaker
Barber set law. How are you gonna be in the chat while you're supposed to be on the panel and then not even be on the fucking panel?
04:11:39
Speaker
Yeah, you fucking default bitch. Yeah, daddy. Oh, wait. Hey. Don't.
04:11:54
Speaker
some beverages. Oh, everybody's going to get beverages, huh? Yes, we're gonna go get beverages. let You know what? Let's... let's ah I don't know.
04:12:06
Speaker
We don't do breaks on here, but let's do a little breaky break, shall we? Oh, shit. You got a commercial loaded up? Yeah. Well, I mean, I i can gonna scroll little something something.
04:12:20
Speaker
Actually, here we go. James Luker, my little brother. right or next Are you guys going to knock one out real quick? No, I was going to go grab some beverages. Oh, okay. So we'll we'll be right back.
04:12:32
Speaker
well james Enjoy a little James Luker with Redneck shit. Actually, no. Actually, yeah, I don't want to scroll through all that shit. I
04:12:55
Speaker
burning smoke down my roads, a winter's rolled up with some macros. It's in my jeans with the lyrics I speak, and my roots run deep like an old old tree.
04:13:09
Speaker
It's in my blood, it's in my soul, in the muddy waters that runs down 44. So when I can't sing and my heart stops to beat, bury me.
04:13:33
Speaker
Water runs through my veins.
04:14:04
Speaker
Looking out, I've never been proud So this doesn't feel the same
Live Stream and Audience Engagement
04:15:03
Speaker
Through my veins.
04:15:56
Speaker
I didn't go take a piss. I didn't go get more beer. I'll be right back.
04:16:15
Speaker
I thought I could prove I'm wrong this time You're not the type of girl they said you would It didn't take me long to find that they were right And that's what hurts the most They know me better than I know myself I see from both sides now
04:17:19
Speaker
Yeah
04:17:47
Speaker
Take that pigeon with those
04:18:15
Speaker
I see from both sides now How it all goes down You make me
04:19:27
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Nonsensical Nons. Here on the Nonsensical Network. Like, share, subscribe. Bio.link slash Nonsensical Network.
04:19:38
Speaker
Don't forget nine out of ten grannies. This right here would be my granny. She's amazing. She's awesome. They do approve of what we do here on the Nonsensical Network. Give us follow, give us a like, give us a share.
04:19:52
Speaker
My bad. So we played the first song because we were all going to go grab drinks and take a piss and i got old Then a quickie happened I got a little distracted A little distracted
04:20:08
Speaker
A little distracted Breathe through your ears, baby Breathe through your ears I didn't get that distracted But a little bit distracted And I was like, shit The song was in it Click on the first thing that's there So, shout out to James Luker.
04:20:27
Speaker
um Was the first song, Redneck Shake. That's one of his newer songs. um And then followed up by our boy Matt James, lead singer of Black Top Mojo.
04:20:40
Speaker
Yeah, those are both good songs, man. Yeah, check out Matt Toppar. Why don't you just put their shit in the comments, man?
04:20:52
Speaker
Yeah, because it's that's way harder than me trying to say it. Well, I don't know. You're kind of struggling to say it, brother. yeah yeah Imagine then how hard it is to write it. my goodness.
04:21:03
Speaker
Well, he can't fucking write anyway, man. Shut up. I should have been a Marine. I'm just going to put emojis down there. and you guys know what it is. I swear to God, I could have been a Marine.
04:21:16
Speaker
Light cap mojo. With bad guy lead singer, Matt James, and then James Luker. Check them out. At James Luker and at Blacktop Mojo. Go show the guys some love. that what what What was the last one? At what? black what Blacktop Mojo. Blacktop Mojo. and if you and and if You said that kind of quick. It sounded like something else.
04:21:38
Speaker
And if you go to YouTube and you type in Blacktop Mojo, after you put in blacktop mojo put in and the air tonight and you'll hear one of the greatest cover songs of that bill collins song also check out their cover of um dreams that's a good one by fleetwood mac and uh what's that goddamn aerosmith song i don't want a long life
04:22:12
Speaker
I just liked it. I just subbed him.
04:22:20
Speaker
ah What is
Roasting Dynamics and Community
04:22:21
Speaker
that goddamn... It doesn't matter. any hoeys Dream on? Yes, dream on. Thank you, Modon. It looks like a lady. That's what I say every time Jedi shows up at my house.
04:22:35
Speaker
At my house. Not even on panel. At my house. Wait a hold on second, Jeff. I should have my house. well Did I just let a cat out of the bag?
04:22:49
Speaker
OG Classic Jones got a question for you in the chat, man. OG in the building. Hey, what's going on? Obviously, I've not been around for a minute. Where's Jeff? Well, Jeff left a year ago, and yeah, well please...
04:23:09
Speaker
Blaze is no longer here. We'll just say that.
04:23:16
Speaker
Why? Because I'm a better, bigger person. You handled that quite well. I think so. OG's my boy. OG's been around for a hot minute.
04:23:28
Speaker
ah jeff jeff ah Jeff left on his own accord, um which was good. And...
04:23:40
Speaker
please kind of left on his own accord to. hey
04:23:45
Speaker
Well, guys, speaking of leaving, but not on my own accord, I have to. I'm being forced. I have to leave. Take care, man. Good seeing you. Well, talking to you.
04:23:57
Speaker
I've never seen you. um Yeah, good seeing you. Love you, brother.
04:24:04
Speaker
ah good good seeing you ah sha love you brother Appreciate you, man. Have a great day. Take care, man.
04:24:17
Speaker
I'm on. Glicking ain't easy. Jedi, time to get off the fucking anime and the hentai and all that shit get your ass back Yeah, bro, take your thumb out your bum and get on stream.
04:24:28
Speaker
Absolutely. You're always welcome here, brother. i need to, I need to I know say it all the time, but baby, I have to make sure that I start making an appearance on Friday nights.
04:24:40
Speaker
for a little bit there go we heard it we heard it here first heard it lock it in it's a nonsense now since he now since he he told his lady he's gonna blame it on her when he doesn't do it oh it's order what yeah sharp shaman that counts it you're high as fuck stop putting up a business out there be like I'm sorry I was gonna come up with you guys last night but Kayla said no
04:25:07
Speaker
Yeah, you sent the groundwork early. Yeah, she's real fucking high. Right? and I know what I'm doing. den i Deny, deny, deny. Master manipulator. Womanizer is what I am. Hell yeah.
04:25:23
Speaker
That's how it's done. Well, have a good weekend, Shaman. Shaman, have a great weekend. Love you, man. You guys too, man. Have fun. Thanks for having me on.
04:25:34
Speaker
Absolutely. Later, man. Y'all don't do anything I wouldn't do. Well, that's a short list. Yeah. Yes, sir.
04:25:44
Speaker
It is. All right. All
04:25:49
Speaker
all right. Now that motherfucker's gone. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Hentai and Bukkake? That sounds like a goddamn party. Hentai, Bukkake. Now, are you any crazy ideas? No. No.
04:26:03
Speaker
There'll be no boob cocky parties. I'll be the only participant in a boob cocky party. If that's what you're into. Hey, just saying, man, you're there with your lady.
04:26:14
Speaker
Jedi's not really fucking here. It's just me. You can shut this shit down. Go spend some time with her, man. No, I told her. No, no, no, no, no. Actually, actually. You heard me, Kayla.
04:26:26
Speaker
I'm on your side. I'm trying, man. I'm working for you. I got kind of put in my place because I've been neglecting the network and the shows the last couple few weeks. Yeah, but you've been live for what?
04:26:37
Speaker
Five hours, man. And I said, I got to do a full show tonight. And she's like, yeah, you do. and i was like, whoa, damn. I did not expect that because she watches and and and i i what when I'm doing the shows,
04:26:55
Speaker
She'd be lurking, huh? She'd be a lurker? you know no She's like right beside me watching me and she just smiles the whole time, man. she's she's ah She's a goddamn fan. She loves what I do. She does she loves watching me in this in this world.
04:27:13
Speaker
so That's good. That's a good thing. She's a fan. I mean, it doesn't matter that every time that happens, she's high as fuck, but, you know, whatever. No, no every night no that's not true.
04:27:26
Speaker
Because this is, how this is and and and and I I agree with you, Moe Dogg, this is kind of timid for a Saturday night, and I understand we're coming off of a little bit of rocky situation and and and and and whatnot, and people are still trying to, like, figure out. Shout out to shoutout to Jedi and Shaman and Modog moog in Jersey and Chris technician and everybody who was here tonight, man, the real ones who were like, Oh, you better say Brittany or she's going to pissed off at you. fuckroom
04:28:00
Speaker
but No, the, the, the, the Brittany is obvious, but like the real ones who is, despite what has gone on the last couple of weeks and, and, and, uh,
04:28:15
Speaker
the manipulation and the word twisting and and and and the slander and shit like that. um Shout out to the real ones who who stuck around. and And I know there's people out there that are trying to navigate the seas.
04:28:29
Speaker
you know But um as I said, Jedi keeps wanting to bust my balls telling me that I'm afraid of the Rose. I'm really not because I'm an open book.
04:28:41
Speaker
and and and And it is what it is. I'm not afraid of what's going to come out or what's going to be said in the roast. What I'm afraid of is there's a few individuals who are going to roast me who don't know me. They might not be able to handle what's coming back at them.
04:28:57
Speaker
They're not going to be able to handle once I get a microphone. Yeah. See, that's. yeah that's how I am. If I'm in that fucking mood, I mean, I could be like, you know, fun, jovial, like hang out, have a good time guy. But as far as roasting comes, man, I can roast with the fucking best of them. And I can, and I can like make you feel bad about yourself. You know what I mean?
04:29:15
Speaker
yeah Like, so I, I warn people when they try doing that shit because I normally just laugh with shit and go with it. You know what i mean? But, Like, if they say some shit that's like, oh, you want to go there?
04:29:27
Speaker
And then I'm like, click, click, and and shit switches. And then they'd be like, god damn, what did you get so mad about? I'm like, oh, well, you put the shit out there, but you can't fucking take it. Ah, All right.
04:29:38
Speaker
I see how you are. What's going on, Music Anime? Yeah, that's that's my thing. Like, it's one thing for people who know me, like, do to do a roast on here, which we've tried to do, which has failed epically.
04:29:52
Speaker
And then I usually just go on a two hour rant and and I'm roasting the fuck out of everybody.
04:30:00
Speaker
But to do it live, Michael and Brittany are really the only ones who know me. Yeah. You know what mean? So. So who's going to be roasting you with this?
04:30:13
Speaker
Michael and Brittany, obviously. Michael and Brittany. ah Cool cat. What's going on with you, man? Michael and Brittany and then I think there's a couple other comedians who I don't know.
04:30:27
Speaker
yeah see, and that's hard to do a good roast when you don't know the fucking person. And that's the thing, like... They're going to be roasting you off of like the 10 minutes that they've got to know you, you know what i mean? Or visuals. yeah they're they're They're being given... They're being given... Information.
04:30:45
Speaker
They're given ammo to use? Yeah. So... That won't work out well. I am very observant.
04:30:55
Speaker
I'm going to watch. I'm going to listen and I'm going to target. I'm going to see what it is. And as some Kayla and I talked about, I said, I'm going to target and I'm going to watch.
04:31:08
Speaker
And in those few minutes that they're up there roasting me, I'm going to figure out what their insecurity is. Yeah. And I'm going to fucking lock in on that. Yeah. You're like me, man. I'm a people person. I can, I can figure, I can figure motherfuckers out in about 30 seconds, man.
04:31:22
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. We're going to lock in on that. And as I told Michael and that's, and that's what Brittany keeps, she said multiple times. Like, if got you go too far, you're going to shut that shit down. No, I'm not going to shut that shit down because anybody went too far because there's nothing that anybody's going to say that I haven't already said live.
04:31:42
Speaker
But you know what? On that point, It's one thing if like somebody that knows you or like, like somebody like me that I know you, but I don't know, you know, you in real life. Right. It'd be different if I was like, you're busting my balls all the time about crayons and Marines and shit like that. Right. yeah And I just fucking roll with it.
04:31:57
Speaker
So it'd be different if, if like I was roasting you. Right. It, But if if I didn't know you and I'm roasting you and I'm saying shit that might be like if somebody didn't know me and they came up on panel, you know, it's the old joke in the core. Like, right like you know, and one of our nicknames is Jarheads, right?
04:32:14
Speaker
Yeah. Any other Marine can call any other Marine a Jarhead, but let a fucking civilian say it in a derogatory term. Oh, dude, we're going to fucking hands. You know what i mean? So it can be like that at a roast, too. Like, if you don't know me and you say some shit just because you heard somebody else say it.
04:32:30
Speaker
yeah And you're not yeah you're not ready for what's coming back at you when I fucking go unleashed. That's on you, man.
Military Humor and Civilians
04:32:36
Speaker
Don't be fucking crying in your beer. you know my my dad was My dad was Army. My dad was 101st Airborne, and and he used to joke around. and He's got Marine friends, and they would joke around.
04:32:48
Speaker
and they would and And my dad said the greatest thing about a Marine was they make a great shield. First in, first to die. Yeah, yeah. That guy, you know. I got friends that say the same thing. They're like, you guys are you guys are awesome sandbags, man. you know yeah First had to hit the beach and shit. you know I wouldn't make that joke because obviously I'm not.
04:33:09
Speaker
I'm a civilian. yeah I'm not military. But I've seen my dad interact with military friends and and and Marine buddies. and and and he's Like I said, he's Army.
04:33:20
Speaker
My uncle was Navy. My grandfather, dad my one of my grandfathers was the air force and one of my other grandfathers was army and they both fought in the Korean war.
04:33:32
Speaker
But see, even that, even that's different. Like you don't, you don't have to know somebody else, but i ain't talking about stolen valor motherfuckers, but, anybody else that was in the service, I don't care what branch it is. It's kind of open season to fuck with each other.
04:33:44
Speaker
You know what mean? and And there's that, there's that like given respect of that's cool. You know, you might not know me from Adam, but you know, your army, you fucking, you know, making Marine jokes. That's cool as hell. Cause I'm going to come back at you and they're going to take it too, you know?
04:33:57
Speaker
But again, let, let the drunk civilians sitting at the bar, try to fucking get in on the act. yeah And it's like, guess what motherfucker? Everybody just merged together on your ass, you know? Right.
04:34:09
Speaker
yeah And that was one of my favorite things was like watching my grandfathers get what with somebody that was around their age that was in the military or my dad, even my dad, you know, or my uncle. I'm going to hear them just yes cut each other up.
04:34:25
Speaker
Fuck with each other. Balls deep. no like I'm not worried about what anybody's going to say because, again, I'm fat. I'm a Sasquatch.
04:34:36
Speaker
My beard died.
04:34:39
Speaker
relationship-wise, I'm fucking terrible at relationships. like that's That's the best you're going to come at me with. But at the end of the day, I'm going to come at you.
04:34:51
Speaker
And I know Brittany's going to get butt hurt because she's going to roast me. And I'm going to roast her right back and she's going to get butt hurt as fuck. See, i'm I'm the same way about being an open book guy. Anybody that knows me, I'm an open book, whether it's up on panels, right? Like on YouTube streets or in real life, I'm an open book, right? So I'll put shit out there that fuck, I'll lay i'll laugh with you when you fucking say something.
04:35:13
Speaker
You know what i mean? And that's the great thing about being just just honest and being an open book kind of person. Because you don't give a fuck what comes at you. Because half the shit you probably already said yourself. Because I've always said, if i if I can't make fun of myself, I have no right making fun of somebody else.
04:35:28
Speaker
and that
Interpersonal Banter
04:35:29
Speaker
i so i know And I know I'm a goddamn mess. Like, I'm a fucking mess. you want You want to bring up... you yeah And that's the other thing. like oh no I've been doing this quote-unquote podcast thing.
04:35:42
Speaker
You're going to bring up former members of of the ah the show or the network. Okay.
04:35:54
Speaker
I'll make more fun of them than you will. Right, right.
04:36:00
Speaker
Well, I don't know, man. it's It's in Warren, right? Is it in Warren, Ohio? Yeah, it's Warren. Yeah, cool. cat we we we We can get silly. legal legal cause that's that's ah That's only like a four-hour drive for me, and I got family in Mansfield, which would only make it a two hour drive back from there.
04:36:15
Speaker
And then I could like hang out with them. You know, is it what, what day is it on? Is it on a Friday? It's a new year's Eve. It's new year's Eve. It's on a Wednesday. yeah Unfortunately, new year's Eve is on Wednesday.
04:36:27
Speaker
So like Kayla and I are not even going to get up there until like seven 30 ish. Yeah. i might i might I might see if I can make it up there and shit. and Like I said, I can always just a couple hour drive back down south and hang out with the family I got in Mansfield for a few days.
04:36:45
Speaker
Yeah, nice she's got to work until 5, 530-ish. Well, how far how far are you from Warren? um about two hours, two, two and a half hours.
04:36:56
Speaker
Okay.
04:36:59
Speaker
How are you not cold, Mama? Because Warren, if I remember correctly, that's like that's up by Akron, right? Yes. Yeah, it's up in northeast Ohio.
04:37:10
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I might try to make it, man, just so I can watch and see what happens. And who knows, man? I might bring my camera with me. know um he's doing or or Or you guys could like hire a photographer to capture the event. you know Just saying. you No, on I don't think we have one.
04:37:29
Speaker
Well, that's what I'm saying. and I know a guy. Yeah, where the fuck is lazy at? Bring the fucking... Bring it, man. Let's do it. I'll buy you a Miller highlight. not Not a crayon? What the fuck, man?
04:37:48
Speaker
I mean, i ill I'll do my... where Where are these other people coming in from? you got their live elsewhere? I will do my damnedest to find all-purple pack of crayons. And if I can't find an all purple crown, I will ah will buy a whole bunch of it. I only need one.
04:38:04
Speaker
only need one. Just one? Just one purple? Yeah. um I'm a giver. I'll give you two. Okay. All right. Are you live on other platforms? Is that where these other yeah comments are coming from?
04:38:18
Speaker
We're on Facebook, Twitch, and YouTube. but i okay. I think Raman or Jedi put it on their YouTube channel. So we're getting there there there, guys. Yeah, where is fucking Lazy?
04:38:32
Speaker
Lazy, like get your fucking ass up here, man. Sergeant drinking the Highlight, the Champagne, the Kukat. I'm only drinking it because it was $12 for a 12-pack.
04:38:43
Speaker
you know um cheap do Cheap times, you do what you got to do, man. I'm drinking Miller Highlight, or... a miguel ultra because apparently st clairsville ohio hates miller light so
04:39:02
Speaker
i can't find fucking 16 ounce pounders anywhere you are so spoiled she is sitting here and she's got her feet propped up on the ottoman And I'm rubbing her feet. You're giving her foot job. and kicked back.
04:39:21
Speaker
I'm not getting a foot job or anything. I'm just rubbing her feet. And she's just laying on the couch with the biggest grin on her face. shes yeah She's like, I dare you to do that for 40 more minutes.
04:39:36
Speaker
I'm waiting for her to drop the other foot and give me the and get me the other one. I'm not done with this one. you're not done yeah i should say I'm not done with 40 more minutes, man.
04:39:52
Speaker
Do not miss. Don't miss an inch. I know, right? I was talking to Kayla, but yeah, whatever.
04:40:02
Speaker
ain't got many inches to give her. ah Yeah, like two on a good day. Two inches and three seconds, man. Jesus Christ.
04:40:15
Speaker
I mean, it lasts a little bit longer than three seconds. All right, we'll give you five, man. Usually, she's done before I am.
04:40:26
Speaker
but You what? was talking to you. You don't want to talk? What were you going to say? oh now all of sudden, Kayla gets quiet. Yeah.
04:40:37
Speaker
Okay. Now she gets quiet. Now she gets quiet.
04:40:43
Speaker
I didn't say all do you think i'm i afraid to about your dice in action ah
04:40:56
Speaker
so yeah i don't even know the particulars, but I'm saying don't, man. I ain't never heard Mordog speak. Yeah, the yeah i'm I'm trying to help you here, brother.
04:41:10
Speaker
Don't. That's a braggadocious. I think he had a stroke for a second.
04:41:21
Speaker
I snatched souls, motherfucker. You what? Snatched souls and yours is already mine. ah You do snatch souls and I do have a dirty mind. Yes, ma'am. No, I said yours is already mine.
04:41:35
Speaker
Oh, what? Your soul is already mine. Yep. ye She snatched his souls and mine is already hers. That's her words, not mine. There you go, girl. Own
Dark Humor and Controversy
04:41:53
Speaker
that shit, Kayla. Own that shit, girl. Own all that shit. Yep.
04:42:03
Speaker
yeah Oh, welcome back, Jed. I had a nice fucking nap ejaculation session. yeah I've been here the whole time. i don't know what you're talking about. hello so think like just made sound let me let me Let me see the palms of both of your hands. I'll tell you which hand you use.
04:42:25
Speaker
Oh shit that That left hand, that palm's red as fuck Ain't it? Glicker abdala Jedi Jedi or Jedi, don't worry Both M-Dog and I were speaking in noises or stuff That's what you're still doing Grunting at each other like cavemen and shit Yeah, the whole paragraph with only the three words to know
04:42:54
Speaker
Kayla's already looking at him, tilting her head like a dog. How a dog, when they try to like make sense of what you're saying. She's like, what? Yeah. well do I don't know. I don't know.
04:43:09
Speaker
So Shaman said to tell you, fuck off and fuck all the way off, Jedi. So just case you missed that. That sounds accurate. Yeah. the way. Take your little nappy nap, man.
04:43:21
Speaker
No. No naps.
04:43:26
Speaker
all the way off jenna what were you doing bro i'm not gonna say you reminded me of some some people that like start a pan on and go away for an hour click i have a picture you in my bathroom and so i was busy you know yeah you do
04:43:44
Speaker
i was just coming up with some new material for the hey glick apparently we weren't the only ones grunting then man yeah yeah but i had the courtesy to do it off stream yeah Well, you know. yeah Jedi came like 75 to 100 times while he was gone for the last half hour. yeah I mean, you're an aristocrat, man.
04:44:08
Speaker
you know We can't help that. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I was talking about Jedi, ah they click i wouldn't I wouldn't use a word on you that I know you can't fucking spell, dude. Glick's like, that's the best thing anybody's ever said to me.
04:44:26
Speaker
then you just rubble. Pull the rug right out. Yeah, I used to that. I thought of Disney's Aristocats. That doesn't surprise for yeah air me. He started purring immediately. and It was like, you're not a lady. You ain't nothing more than a sister. and i was like, i don't think this is what Mordog's talking about. He's like, honey, go go get a piece of long spaghetti. We got something we got to try.
04:44:58
Speaker
That's Lady and the Tramp. That's not Aristocats. We did.
04:45:06
Speaker
Say you're a parent without saying you're a parent. Yeah, i know, right? She's over here in seventh heaven. She's not listening to anything anybody's saying right now. Well, the way your arm's moving, it's right above my head. it feels like I'm getting a massage on top of my head. so I'm rubbing her feet right now.
04:45:24
Speaker
And she's just like... this there's a There's a theme to this show. There's a lot of feet themes here, man. out and drive a lot of one There's a lot of foot stuff that happens here. she was dying then hold Hold her foot up. Let's see what that foot looks like.
04:45:39
Speaker
Hold it up. He's going to take a screenshot of it. You can't see it. i can't Don't be foot shy, Kayla.
04:45:50
Speaker
old Okay. Alright, we'll see what you're working with. Alright. that
04:45:57
Speaker
all tosy well well little tootsie action and she's like around around the toesy with allla far you turned that right i know i say trust me i know trust me we all know you've been sitting there butt ass naked for the last three hours we know she's not in not quite not quite she said not quite ah She said, not quite, but there's more clothes in my dental floss container.
04:46:27
Speaker
She may or may not have handprint somewhere.
04:46:34
Speaker
white hand of Sauron? The hand Blake.
04:46:40
Speaker
The hand of Blake. As the rock would once say, I'll lay it and smack it down.
04:46:54
Speaker
Jedi did. I got a question, man. You didn't get pepper sprayed when you were at your Antifa protest earlier, were you? Yeah, big time. Did you get it all off? heard Don't touch your peepee.
04:47:07
Speaker
same I already did. I like the way it burns. That's why you were gone for 40 minutes, man. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh.
04:47:20
Speaker
Mo, Doug, it's like you were living in my body.
04:47:24
Speaker
And we do share brain cells sometimes. My body is a wonderland. It is. really is. so Michael Jackson used to say, too.
04:47:38
Speaker
That wasn't Wonderland. That was Neverland.
04:47:48
Speaker
me. You're not excused. My body is a Wonderland. Thank you very much.
04:47:59
Speaker
yeah Sounds like somebody's got a washer going in the background. What is that? That's chair Jedi. That's Jedi.
04:48:08
Speaker
What's going on now? It's Jedi rocking in his chair. the ah Jedi, did your wife beat you up? My washing machine is definitely going. last Jedi, did you actually run into a cabinet while you were gone for the last one? No, the cabinet ran into me. I was standing still.
04:48:28
Speaker
Jedi. Jedi. Call 1-800-DOMESTIK-BLAKE you need He walks in a room and she's like... Bruises are the only way I get color, okay?
04:48:40
Speaker
but
04:48:44
Speaker
good she gave him His favorite song is black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow. yeah and so was Your wife old what for, didn't she? She showed the old what for, man.
04:48:58
Speaker
and Shit was shaking too. Like, I'm about to unleash this motherfucker. Right now. oh What would you make me do to you, Jedi? Don't make me show you my pimp hand.
04:49:10
Speaker
yeah
Ricky Gervais and Humor Tastes
04:49:11
Speaker
You know, that makes me think of the worst domestic abuse joke I've ever heard, but it's funny as shit. You want to hear it? Absolutely. you You've all heard of this one already. I know everybody's heard this one, but wait till girl with two black eyes.
04:49:26
Speaker
nothing yeah You told it twice. Yeah, exactly. You all knew the punchline. I had to say it
04:49:33
Speaker
We still like you just putting yourself out there, though. yeah It's all good. Don't hit women. don't Don't hit your woman. no If I hit my woman, she'd beat the fuck out of me. Don't hit your woman. She's like a fourth my size, but she scares the shit out of me.
04:49:48
Speaker
Don't hit your woman unless she gets lippy. yeah Wait, four lippy? or we were We were on a panel about a month ago, and Jedi said, yeah. He's like, would you say you were like six foot?
04:50:01
Speaker
Me? No. Yeah, you did. Yes, you did, man. is we were We were talking about height. Somebody asked me how tall I was, and I was like six one, and blah, blah, blah. A couple other people talked and shit.
04:50:14
Speaker
And you said that you were like six foot yourself. And I was like, really? I picture you at like four foot eight. You don't fucking remember that? Oh, if I was being super sarcastic because already said my height on like 30 panels.
04:50:29
Speaker
Oh, okay. Well, I've never heard this. There's no way you would. Not even close. That's why it would be funny if I said it. It would have been super sarcastic. Well, you may have been drunken.
04:50:40
Speaker
I may have missed the sarcasm. so Yeah, there's zero percent chance I would, like, honestly try to claim to be six foot tall. I was like, I never pictured you being six foot tall, man.
04:50:52
Speaker
ah well Not even close, bro. I'd have to get on a fucking... I'd have steps to put a step ladder a step ladder to get to fucking six foot tall. just want to put it out there because some people have claimed that I am a woman abuser and it's more slander and lies and whatnot like that, but...
04:51:14
Speaker
Domestic violence jokes, much like racial jokes, are funny. So don't take it the wrong way. Did you say aren't funny? Are funny.
04:51:25
Speaker
Oh, they yeah I was going to say I was about to argue with you. Okay, go on. yeah Wait, they're not funny. They're not funny. Don't make jokes. Fuck honky. They're funny as shit. Is that your argument, Jedi?
04:51:38
Speaker
Is that your argument? You know what? Just just like Ricky Gervais says, if somebody says something and you laugh, it's fucking funny. It doesn't matter what it's about. It's a fucking joke.
04:51:50
Speaker
Exactly. you know that's one of the fucking proud That's one of the problems with our country today, man. Nobody has a fucking sense of humor. Everybody's looking to be a victim and shit, man.
04:52:00
Speaker
Yeah, I'm a victim. If you say something and it makes you want to laugh, laugh. It was funny. It's okay. ah It's going to be all right. Laughing is good for the soul. You got confessional on Sunday morning. You can make up for that shit.
04:52:15
Speaker
Exactly. You got time to make up for it. That's what we're all saying here. So my main question is, do I grab another beer or you getting ready to shut this down? Grab another beer. Grab another beer. Let's fucking go. All right.
04:52:29
Speaker
I'll be right back.
04:52:35
Speaker
I go to confession for two reasons.
04:52:40
Speaker
One. just You like to masturbate in public, but it's still kind of private? Well, I guess three reasons now.
04:52:52
Speaker
One. One. i can be forgiven for my sins from this show. Even God won't forgive you, bro, but go on. you Some old guy in a fancy dress touches my wiener.
04:53:06
Speaker
I mean, how can you turn that down? Yeah, like, Father, forgive me. and and meanwhile, Father's choking down a fucking jalapeno.
04:53:18
Speaker
Exactly. It's like it's like it's the equivalent of going to an all you can eat buffet but only getting one plate full of food. it Ridiculous. He's going to touch your peepee for free while you get forgiven.
04:53:30
Speaker
That's crazy not to do it. i don't I don't know how this I don't know if the Bible said that I'm pretty sure the Bible said this is wrong. But how could something no i don feel so good? I'm pretty sure it did. But I don't know because the Bible is a little chatty for me.
04:53:45
Speaker
lot of words in that book. Okay.
04:53:50
Speaker
Hey, Father. According to the Bible, did what you're doing right now it's wrong it is It feels really good. You
04:54:01
Speaker
know what? God gave you feelings for a reason. You got to feel good, then you know it's right. Yeah, right? Hallelujah.
04:54:12
Speaker
Hallelujah. hallelujah Amen.
04:54:18
Speaker
That's all I got to say, Mom.
04:54:21
Speaker
That's not all I gotta say, but i would say a lot. but
04:54:28
Speaker
Woo! All of a sudden, Rick Flair up in this bitch. Woo! It's not good to be standing in the bathroom with my junk in my hand taking a piss and I hear Glick say, some man in a fancy dress touched my pee-pee.
04:54:39
Speaker
I'm like, what the fuck? Talk about timing. had to look around and shit like, ah straight to his closet to find i to look around as shit like
04:54:49
Speaker
But I was like, wait, okay why? He's like, oh, God, you know, it's not too late in the season for a summer dress, right? he's Exactly, right? and that i but lord sir do i saw like priest costume from nice right Exactly, man.
04:55:05
Speaker
Does this sundress make me look like i have cankles? Yeah, does this sundress make me look fat?
04:55:12
Speaker
father
TV Shows and Humor Preferences
04:55:13
Speaker
but Father, forgive me for I am sorry. Hey, viewers by the second, man. Wait, we had viewers?
04:55:24
Speaker
losing viewers by the second man wait we had viewers Well, not really. There's only been like three watching for the last 45 minutes. I mean, we got like six.
04:55:36
Speaker
I don't know. I think all three of us are on panel watching ourselves. Yeah, I don't ever play. That might be it, Jedi. yeah We get Saturday night, man. Saturday night's get um guys get a lot of... You do get a lot of views. and Yeah, you do get a lot of replays.
04:55:57
Speaker
it's It's funny. You know, some people... That's when all the lawyers on Monday are you know working up their case files and shit. I know.
04:56:08
Speaker
I'm hoping to get my lawyer, are the non-psysical network lawyer, on dammar tomorrow for the sports show. You bringing Jeff back?
04:56:20
Speaker
No. and No. No. new That's twice the night I've heard Jeff mention. I don't know who he is because I'm too new to the network. Oh, my God. Can we?
04:56:30
Speaker
He's the most fun to make fun of, okay? MoDog, you would have a fucking field day with Jeff. Actually, MoDog, you would have a field day with Jeff. You know what?
04:56:43
Speaker
You would have a field day with Jeff. you yeah yeah you know what You would have a field day with Jeff, and I feel like, um you know, I put it out there I didn't shy away from it. I know some other people like to run their mouths and feel some sort of way But Modog, feel like a if I gave you the information, you wouldn't let the Stolen Valor thing slide with Jeff.
04:57:11
Speaker
Oh, shit. Every veteran that came up on this panel or who was ever a part of this podcast,
04:57:19
Speaker
Uh, yeah, and some people feel a little self-righteous, and you want to be knight in shining armor, but you're a veteran, and you didn't do shit about it, you fucking twat waffle, and I gave you all the energy. Woo!
04:57:33
Speaker
Twat waffle? Yeah, i don't I don't do well with stolen valor. so Maybe it's a good thing I wasn't around then. I'm a civilian. It wouldn't have been so much fun, Moe Dog.
04:57:45
Speaker
There might have been a side of me come out that y'all haven't seen before. yeah I'm just saying. Dark side of the moon would have came out. This is a double-edged sword for me as a civilian.
04:57:57
Speaker
If I'm wrong, I'm an asshole. and I just called out a veteran. for being stolen valor. If I'm right, I just call it out a fraud.
04:58:08
Speaker
So be it then, right? So then I put that fucking shit in every veteran that came across my path. I put all the ammunition on their plate and I said, do what you will.
04:58:21
Speaker
I know. i know i didn't i didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. I heard the guy's name mention a couple times in the last week. I think I brought it up. That was not a new one. Well, somebody in the chat did earlier. OG brought it up earlier.
04:58:35
Speaker
Yeah, you didn't bring up a... you didn't okay sorry well Some people like to slander my name and like to twist my words. and I know! And clearly some people like to come in your beard, but anyway.
04:58:49
Speaker
no ah She does. So you know you know him, Jedi. Yeah? Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember. i remember like Jeff was part of the network for a while, and then he rage quit, too.
04:58:59
Speaker
um ki You, of all people, giving me the gentle baby You're giving me the gentle, like, but shut up briney we shut up, shut up, baby, you shut up. That's what she's doing. Shut up, shut up. She's tapping my knee and she's like, I know where you're going and I know this is going to go.
04:59:20
Speaker
She's like. here Here comes the gold. Well, it sounds like we need to take Kayla's advice and just move on to something else. I but that i didn't mean to bring... yeah um just to throw that out there.
04:59:31
Speaker
um Oh, Michael Copenhaver. Oh, Selma. Selma! What's going on, dude? I love Selma. We got Selma. Selma, my dude. What up, Selma?
04:59:43
Speaker
I love you, too. Thank you. i know for his gang Hey, like did you drop did you drop the link? Yeah, I did. I'll drop it again.
04:59:55
Speaker
Did you just drop it in StreamYard? No. I mean YouTube. Sorry.
Boundaries of Humor
05:00:01
Speaker
I thought it was pinned, but I don't know. No. Well, it's it is. It's pinned on YouTube. You said no. But he's got other people watching on Twitch Facebook.
05:00:13
Speaker
I'm sorry. It's pinned in our chat. And I forgot. Yeah. you said She said, nope. She said, nope. We're not going to let that clip come out tonight.
05:00:24
Speaker
She was quick. She was quick and she was it was like It was like a family feud buzzer. She was over here. She tensed up. She was like, I've heard about him.
05:00:37
Speaker
I don't want to see him. It's like, damn, baby, my knee's getting sore over here. Fuck.
05:00:45
Speaker
ah He was dappin' quick. my Yeah, he was dappin' quick. That's right. Shut your fucking slut mouth. Drop it again, dance puppet.
05:00:58
Speaker
This got sexy real quick.
05:01:03
Speaker
ah Little shirtless Doogie Howser. nole your hairs little shirtless doouggie houser Hello shirtless dude I'm pushing buttons over here that I don't know what I'm pushing Kayla you got him all fucked up man She stopped me man She stopped me I was about to go into like aggro I think I said is aggro still a thing mean You can bring it back The way I brought back hashtags I was about to go like this guy Just cause it's from the past Doesn't mean it can't be the future
05:01:40
Speaker
Right. Fucking Michael J. Fox, man. oh Michael's out after losing his next game. oh What up, Michael? I ended the game's a winner. I lost one on it.
05:01:53
Speaker
i just How can I share my screen? Shit. why Where's the video? Why are you not home and where are the videos? Bye, Michael. but Bye, Rex.
05:02:09
Speaker
Yeah. You're going to rage quit again. but There it is but
05:02:17
Speaker
he is.
05:02:20
Speaker
Oh, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
05:02:26
Speaker
wi is is being part of the network is is it in the contract that at some point you have to rage quit is that just and anomaly you have you brains that be dangerous Wait, what the hell did he just say?
05:02:41
Speaker
Oh my God. had brains, I'd be dangerous.
05:02:48
Speaker
Sue!
05:02:51
Speaker
Where's Sue? yeah Are you driving are you in the parking lot? I'm driving, Sue. You're not driving. Sue's driving. Hell no. I was going to say, you better not be fucking driving.
05:03:02
Speaker
I'll slap the shit out of you, Michael. No, hell no. Listen, I got two DUIs. fact, I would not have a third. I figured out what was causing it, and now I don't do it. Twinning.
05:03:14
Speaker
Twinning.
05:03:18
Speaker
Okay. I'm gonna go split. Nope. When Michael does his eye thing, always die laughing. His eye thing is weird.
05:03:30
Speaker
Sue! It is weird.
05:03:33
Speaker
She's not answering. She's pissed off at me. Oh, what did you do? What did you piss her off? ah Shit happens. People get drunk. Yeah, that's true. I didn't know you were talking to me. Sorry.
05:03:46
Speaker
and Was he playing pantsless pool again? Yeah. was You gotta use the pool cue and not your dick to hit the fucking worry ball. She said no. He had his pants on.
05:03:59
Speaker
Were him and Bill touching each other inappropriately like they were last night? Were they docking over the eight ball?
05:04:07
Speaker
Listen. 8-Ball to you and 8-Ball to me have a different movie. They were fencing. 8-Ball to me is a party. mo on what How's your brother?
05:04:21
Speaker
ah Still alive. Glad to it. See, there's that military sense of dark humor, man. This cat I barely knew. ah he was a friend of a friend.
05:04:33
Speaker
My dad died in July last year. And it was like August. He goes, so hey, man, knock, knock. I said, who's there? He goes, not your dad because he's fucking dead. And I laughed fucking ass off.
05:04:45
Speaker
But to be fair, my dad was an asshole and kind of a racist dick. Dark humor will get you through so much shit in life, man. Yeah, well, you gotta have a dark sense of humor to really get through life. You don't have to.
05:04:58
Speaker
That's why I love watching, I love watching, like, yeah you should reaction channels. That's one of my, like, guilty pleasures, watching reaction channels. And to watch, like, people, like, so young civilians of today, right, that have not served in the military, and they'll be watching a reaction channel.
05:05:15
Speaker
And obviously, I watch a lot of marine reaction shit, right? But when they see combat shit and they'll see like Marines laughing over it and everything else. And then just to watch them go off for like, you know, the civilian watching it, watching them go off for like 20 minutes about, you know, how fucked up they are and how mentally fucked up. And that, why would you be laughing about that? And I'm like you you just don't get it. It's one of those, you have to be there kind of things, you know, dark humor is fucking priceless, man.
05:05:39
Speaker
Look your fucking mortality in the motherfucking eyes and then you'll get it.
05:05:49
Speaker
Yeah, I'd take dark humor over any fucking humor. Yeah, separate humor. There's not enough babies to die in a joke to make me laugh harder.
05:06:00
Speaker
Exactly.
05:06:02
Speaker
Exactly. yeah And there's probably people watching this right now going, what the What was the word last night? Not classy. Oh, fuck.
05:06:16
Speaker
Come on, you piece of shit. Remember. ah No, I can't. The bourbon just destroyed my brain. it was it It wasn't classy, but it was something like that. Tasteful.
05:06:28
Speaker
taste taste Tasteful. Tasteful. Don't know what that, what is that? What word is that? So, listen. um Can I get a definition, please? John has said, anything can be funny as long as it's done tastefully.
05:06:41
Speaker
So I said, give me an example of a tasteful rape joke. And all he did was giggle. Really? Yeah, watch. And then I told the best rape joke I ever heard in my life.
05:06:53
Speaker
Statistically speaking, when you walk into a room with 20 women, one of them has been R-worded.
05:07:02
Speaker
When I walk into that room, I see 19 women I haven't met yet. good That's hilarious. Brandon Petrie. Brandon Petrie. I certainly remember his name last night.
05:07:13
Speaker
That belongs to Brandon Petrie. He's out of about Cleveland, Akron County. The kid looks like the kid next door. He's like the next goddamn... Who did I compare him against?
05:07:25
Speaker
Tosh. Tosh. He dresses in a nice little preppy sweater and he says waffle thing. I fucking love Tosh. But anyway, we like when when Shaman said that it's got to be tasteful, we kind of lit him up on that because it made no fucking sense. like You a tasteful pedophile joke.
05:07:43
Speaker
and I'll tell you how. Make sure the grease comes in the boy's mouth. he or Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. no Why the pervert cross the road?
05:07:58
Speaker
His dick was stuck in the chicken. His dick was stuck in the chicken. here was my Here was my example of a tasteful PEDO joke. What's the best part about fucking 25-year-olds?
05:08:14
Speaker
There's 20 of them.
05:08:17
Speaker
was It's fucked up and it's sick. It is, man. That's why we like it.
05:08:26
Speaker
but but i'm going I'm going to my grandson's football game at 2 o'clock this afternoon. I'll be telling some of these.
05:08:37
Speaker
They're not going to let you back in. They'll be like, oh, it's just his grandpa. you can do it Oh, there's my stupid face. um
05:08:51
Speaker
Good to see you, back man. could see man That's what you say now. Wait till you get a little bit better. Do you do movies? I'm not a movie person, man.
05:09:04
Speaker
No? No. It's weird because like my TV is on 24-7, but it's just background noises. I'm sitting here editing photos from photo shoots and shit. understand that. Yeah, I understand that. Actually, I get it.
05:09:16
Speaker
because I got to have music or t I got to have some kind of sound going on because I got tinnitus so fucking bad from when I was in the core. It's like, if it's quiet, it drives me crazy, man. All you hear is this like, you know. Yeah, I got tinnitus too, brother.
05:09:32
Speaker
Yeah. So, yeah, I go to bed every night with like, Ricky Gervais podcast plan or some shit, man, because I got to have some kind of fucking noise happen. My wife loves Ricky Gervais. I absolutely hate fucking roast humor, which is shocking to me.
05:09:50
Speaker
How do you love Ricky Gervais and hate roast? Did you just say you hate Ricky Gervais? No, I did not. What I said was my wife loves Ricky Gervais.
05:10:03
Speaker
Yeah, what did you say you hate? But hates. My wife loves Rick and Gervais, but she, my wife, hates fucking Rocheuers. Oh, he's so good. at love Rick and Jermaine's, but hey, Rose. i Oh, my God. He's the king of shit, man.
05:10:18
Speaker
Him at the award shows just talking shit directly to every fucking celebrity. Calling them all out. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Your friend got in trouble. Sorry. Yeah. yeah The amount of awkward, tense looks in that fucking crowd that night was fucking priceless, man. Like, every time he gets it's so good. Running out our secrets.
05:10:38
Speaker
Yes. I love him so much. What are you doing, mama? Did you watch Afterlife? Yes. all i watched the first I watched the first season. right i was You know what? It's funny. I was just talking to Jersey about that a couple days ago. She's seen um sorry but see seen su seen fucking season one and maybe season two. so it's so And I was like, here's a here since we're talking Ricky Gervais, if you're a fan of Afterlife, have you watched Derek?
05:11:03
Speaker
Because that's fucking... You didn't like Derek? I loved Derek, man. I've not seen that. what Is that a movie? No, it's another series he did. let see Okay, I haven't seen that one. I loved it, man. I loved it. I loved Dextras, too. you know Have you seen The Invention Lying?
05:11:20
Speaker
I found Dextras. I'm sorry, Tom. Derek, I found personally Derek neither interesting nor funny. see i i don't I didn't find it more on the funny part.
05:11:34
Speaker
but I guess because I had somebody in my family that was just like fucking Derek in real life. so I connected with it um um on on that fucking level. and there was so I liked it. I enjoyed it, man.
05:11:47
Speaker
I enjoyed the series. I don't know anything about What's it about? memory He's a mentally handicapped fella. was an orderly or some shit like that and an old folks old. Yeah.
05:11:57
Speaker
one here the first look in the first He's got that like total fucking childlike curiosity and innocence, but in ah like 33 year olds fucking body, you know? Go check it out, man. Gervais Lovers. Have you seen the movie?
05:12:14
Speaker
The Invention of Lying. Yeah. that's all i just thought yeah michael I already said that. The Invention of Lying so funny. God damn Mike. I'm sick your bullshit already.
05:12:27
Speaker
on your market set go fuck your yourself i already did yeah um top top three movie man top three movie i haven't i haven't i'm not i'm not one of those people that i'll be honestly that's why i don't come on like when you have your movie nights on here on the network yeah that's why i don't come up to them that's why i don't come up to them because i don't i don't know shit about fucking i i mean i can probably talk about 8 fucking movies.
05:12:53
Speaker
You know. You don't have to know anything about it. Beyond that, I'm like... hey Give us a view. Give us a like. correct Well, no, no. i usually i usually i usually hit you a like. I give you a like, man.
05:13:04
Speaker
I just don't like in and shit. I'm giving you a hard time. Why? Because I like you. No, it's all good. Also, fuck your click and fuck your Jedi. I always give Michael ah a thumbs down because i don't want his ego to get too out of control. don't know.
05:13:19
Speaker
I don't have any go. I don't have any go. i don't have any you I'm very humble. That's tactic because I might be the most humble person ever to exist. Well, now I'm fucking curious.
05:13:30
Speaker
Jedi, you gotta go watch at least season one of of Derek and let me know how you feel about it. Because and Michael are on total opposite spectrums of... you know i really I really liked it. I really enjoyed it.
05:13:44
Speaker
Michael is definitely on the spectrum, you're right. so I am the spectrum. let me Let me know what you think about it, man. I am the spectrum, bitch. And I like Dexters, too, but that was the least of the three I liked the best. but Okay.
05:13:59
Speaker
Yeah, Afterlife was fucking awesome. if you haven't seen yeah Have you seen all three seasons? yeah Yes, yes. I'm not one to get cheery-eyed, but I'm telling you right now, the last couple episodes with my wife beside me, bawling her goddamn eyes out, it was hard to stay dry. when Something about tears makes me cum.
05:14:21
Speaker
yeah Hashtag mike Michael got moist. have you Have you seen it, Jedi? Have you seen Afterlife? I've seen the first season. i haven't watched. i No, you definitely got to go definitely gotta be watch the next two. Stop watching it if you haven't heard it. How the hell would you stop? I need to because it's one of those things like I watched it as soon as it came out and there was like a big gap. and i hold I forget about shows when there's like big gap. You know what I did? and There was a great big gap and it reminded me of my mom who abused me and I didn't like it.
05:14:49
Speaker
When season three came out, I said, fuck it. And I went back and started the season one and watched them all through again. Cause you can binge them. They're only like 30 minutes long. It's each fucking episode, you know, and you're fantastic to go though if they have like, yeah trains because like I have to rewatch the first season or the second season, whatever it might be the previous season, just to fucking get caught up Get back into it. yeah for the new season Yeah. That's, that's
Roasting Context and Expectations
05:15:11
Speaker
what I did when three came out.
05:15:12
Speaker
It's a good thing. You're not a smoker. I a smoker. Fuck off. i am a smokeker look out funky I'm only giving them an extra hard time because had a great talk last night. We did. We had a lot of fun.
05:15:26
Speaker
With our clothes on, mostly. um I mean, mostly. To be expected. Glick's not even paying attention, man. Glick doesn't even know where he's at. He's like a dog. He heard his name. What? Park?
05:15:38
Speaker
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I can mentally see his tail wagging right now. It's not his tail. Ha, ha, ha.
05:15:53
Speaker
He's like one of those little Dobermans. And props to you, Jedi, because if you can see that, you must have laser vision. was getting ready to say which tail.
05:16:04
Speaker
um right Front or back tail? Front or back? I remember a couple years ago, I farted really long and really hard. And I said, oh my God. Yeah, go check it out. Check out Derek. I want to hear your thoughts, Jedi. Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely going to check it I do. I love Ricky Gervais. think he's the best. We were talking about Ricky Gervais series that he's done. gli The series the theory Glick is called Afterlife. Have you seen it? You don't have to get close to your camera and talk.
05:16:33
Speaker
What's happening right now? like Godzilla! Godzilla! We liked it better when you were talking to Naked Kayla, man. Oh, wait, what? that' That's not what it looks like when talk to Naked Kayla. You don't get your face in that close?
05:16:52
Speaker
i mean, I do. How long is your fucking tongue, dude? Fucking Gene Simmons ain't got nothing on me. Oh, shit. You can jump rope with that motherfucker.
05:17:06
Speaker
All I know is my mouth. You need a good tongue when you got a small dick.
05:17:12
Speaker
I got racing stripes in my beard for a reason.
05:17:17
Speaker
That was his skid marks. To match the skid marks in his undies. I was going to say, it feels like there's a five-year-old joke in there somewhere. As is above, so is below.
05:17:31
Speaker
i don't know. The last time racing stripes in my beard... ah no I got in trouble. You broke up with her? Oh, sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
05:17:42
Speaker
Because I got in trouble because apparently there were references in the chat when I said it. And they're like, yep, yep, yeah, he's not wrong. did And I'm like, and then I woke up the next day single. I woke up the next day single.
05:17:58
Speaker
And I was like, what the fuck? What the fuck did I say last night? It's been five weeks. Five weeks ago today, I got married, and I thought for sure and um there was at least a 50-50 chance I was getting divorced tonight.
05:18:15
Speaker
I'm going to share my screen when I get to the house. I'm like four minutes from home. I'll share my screen. I'm going play it for you. I went on stage and sung a song. of the so now so Wait a damn second. Steve the Canadian showed up. Oh, Glick, I know how you feel about Canadians.
05:18:30
Speaker
like You know how I feel about Canadians. Shaky. Well, you can't really feel, man. It's not a real country and they don't really exist. So can you really have feelings about it?
05:18:43
Speaker
Yeah. It is. Much like prostitutes and the homeless, they just really don't exist. um Only Toast said they love me, too. That was good. you That was good, Steve. I'm getting all of love in the chat.
05:18:55
Speaker
It's a conversation about our Asian science came up. Blue tonic. only toes who the hell is only does that's so funny that's playing egg they like yep yeah you know i'm not lying is plutonic like the after of plutonic and right that's how that i was not so they were like uh yeah versus uranium well
05:19:27
Speaker
link it we We've lost Lickett. What are you doing for New Year's Eve, Lickett? It's funny. i was We were talking about that earlier because I'm like four hours away from Warren. I might up and see you guys' show. I'll tell you what. As friends in the show, I'll get you two tickets for 30.
05:19:51
Speaker
okay I thought that would be a good thing. I'd give you three ones, but my manager will not allow it. He's like, I'd give you free ones, but I don't like you that much, man. but so know we with me so what i do out what i what i feel click fuck my career up anymore what I threw out to Glick was I said that would be a good opportunity to have a photographer there to like capture the whole thing.
05:20:13
Speaker
I'm a photographer. And MoDog. You know that motherfucker. um and mo dog as i know that mother fuck like a lot of people don't. oh you write are you free on weekend i Hey,
05:20:27
Speaker
It's on a weekend. It's a Wednesday. New Year's Eve is a Wednesday. bi therapy Michael, not only is he a photographer, but he's also not an at addict.
05:20:39
Speaker
Addict. He's not an addict. You can't store things in him. Stop. I'm getting it Stop. I keep getting kicked. so What you're saying is if M-Dog comes to my house, I still won't have an addict.
05:20:53
Speaker
Got it. I got a basement, but no addict. If she shows up, I still won't have an addict. If M-Dog comes to your house, the only addict will be you.
05:21:06
Speaker
You'll be addicted to M-Dog. Bitch! Bitch! Yeah, I say what I say. Does your mother have any children that survived?
05:21:20
Speaker
s Sir, no, sir.
05:21:24
Speaker
Love that show. You're a fucking failed abortion. I am a failed abortion. Looks like the best part of you ran down to crack your mama's ass and ended up in the brown state on the mattress.
05:21:36
Speaker
I swear to God, I'm the poster child for failed abortion. Abortion
Feet Jokes and Preferences
05:21:41
Speaker
Survivors Anonymous. That's slick. Yep. Yep. yep
05:21:48
Speaker
like But yeah, in all seriousness, Michael, I'm going to see if I can't try to make it up here maybe come up and watch the debauchery. I can't tell you how many times i i the um mission was I didn't die. I'm going to shut it down now. I'm going to go in the house and connect to actual laptop. yeah I'm going to fucking share my screen and share my video. I'll be right back in my don't know five minutes.
05:22:12
Speaker
yeah Steve, we believe you on that too, man. We believe that. We believe everything you just said. Steve the Canadian, fuck you. You love Jedi. You're not real. You just solidified the fact that you're not real.
05:22:26
Speaker
ah Jesus Christ. Things have gone off the rails. You know what? You need to be nice to the 51st state, okay? I will not be nice to the 51st state because the 51st state quote unquote, wanted to sign a treaty with me so I did not invade and declare war on them by myself.
05:22:47
Speaker
I mean, you could have taken the whole country. There's only four of them. Oh, yeah. you They really spread out. yeah They spread eagle is what he's trying to say.
05:22:58
Speaker
that That's what I meant. annette was that takepleir up canada I so. I'm going to murder all your mooses. Meese.
05:23:10
Speaker
Do not fuck with meese. They are terrifying creatures. nie I'll punch a meese right there. No, a meese will punch you. you know that That's the animal that kills the most people every year? Exactly.
05:23:21
Speaker
They're huge. They're fucking ginormous. They're on my list, Jedi. they are no Everybody thinks sharks and alligators, but no, it's moose. but yeah squich The meese will get you. They're bigger that they're bigger than Sasquatches, okay? A meese has never gone toe-to-toe with Sasquatches. i was Only toes, we can read your comments when Glick puts them up on the screen. You're going get that moose toe on your face.
05:23:46
Speaker
I'm not going to get a moose toe. You know what? Bump them up. On the list. On the list. Mises are number two on the list. Right below kangaroos. I'm to beat the shit out of kangaroo Australia, just so you know.
05:23:59
Speaker
i'm ah fuck It'd be fun as fuck to box a kangaroo one time. I'm going to beat the brakes off of them. Damn it, Steve. I'm going to beat the brakes off them, goddamn kangaroo. where Those motherfuckers look like they've been in prison for 30 fucking years and they're all jacked up, man.
05:24:16
Speaker
oh da those those are prison deer that's what they are yeah those are desert deer that went to prison he good ah
05:24:31
Speaker
you're racist and homosexual jedi i knew you were homosexual but You know, I pack a lot in one punch, okay? Shadai's not homosexual. He's homoglickual. He's married, but we've never really confirmed that he's married to a woman.
05:24:47
Speaker
mean, we've never seen a wife. We just hear that he's married. so and He doesn't matter if he's married. At the end of the day, he's my bitch. oh When we walk through the yard, he holds my pocket.
05:25:01
Speaker
I ride in his beard. He rides in his beard. g click Click up here making prison jokes and shit, man. I ain't never been to prison. When we walk to the yard, he holds my pocket.
05:25:14
Speaker
I'm too pretty to go to prison. i understand that. I know. i know. I'm way too pretty to go to prison. Yeah, they'd love your bare ass in prison, man. they would. They'd be like, ugh. They'd be like, ah-ha.
05:25:26
Speaker
You'd be getting conjugal visits every fucking week from Scotto and shit, man. Where's my beautiful Scotto? No, no, no. Scotto would get himself arrested just so he could be a cellmate with Vic. That's my Scotto. That's my Scotto. I mean, my cellmate.
05:25:43
Speaker
Not my Scotto. That's my cellmate. I claim him. They're fucking strangling people with this beard just to keep them away from Scotto. like That's my bitch, not yours.
05:25:54
Speaker
Die, bitch.
05:26:06
Speaker
That's my son. ah I assumed only toes. but and only Only toes. Is that Britney? I have no idea. I think that's Brittany's alt account.
05:26:21
Speaker
Could be. yeah It's gotta be. Oh,
05:26:27
Speaker
man.
05:26:35
Speaker
Oh, shit. Really, Steve? That's crazy. i'm excuse you is like Kayla's like, you ready to shut the stream down yet, babe? She's over here to 7th heaven, man. I'm rubbing her feet. She's just content as can be. I told her, i was like, yeah, this is usually about the time that I get on TikTok.
05:26:52
Speaker
She's like, wait, what? Thirst trap what? This is the time Glick makes bad decisions on the interweb. I don't make bad... i make...
05:27:05
Speaker
Decisions. but You know what? Decisions are made. They're not good. They're not bad. They're just decisions. I'll make decisions.
05:27:18
Speaker
she's She's down for my bullshit.
05:27:22
Speaker
You missed it before, Jedi. We got to see Kayla's toes, man. What? I don't know if I'm allowed to show. It
Late-night Humor and Identity
05:27:31
Speaker
might be a little bit too much.
05:27:34
Speaker
No, I told Jedi he missed it. She showed him before. actually i think i was good for that I think I was here for that. If I'm not mistaken. no oh yeah i think He was in the bathroom looking at my... No, I think I was on panel for that. That's what I'm saying. she was looking He was looking at my my TikTok page.
05:27:54
Speaker
Touching himself very appropriately. Not inappropriately, but appropriately.
05:28:02
Speaker
i mean, is there any other way? I mean, obviously, there is no appropriate way to look at you. Click.
05:28:10
Speaker
Is there really? I mean, it's not. It's not an appropriate way. It's wrong. I mean, anybody looking at Glick right now, it's inappropriate. if If it's wrong, I don't want to be right.
05:28:21
Speaker
That's what I hear. There we go. That's the key to happiness. but You heard it here first. and should i draw Jedi dropping all the facts and shit, man.
05:28:34
Speaker
but The key to happiness is looking at Glick appropriately on his thirst traps. You made him lose words, Glick. just killed Jedi. It's the first time I've ever seen Jedi struggle to say something, man.
05:28:50
Speaker
i then and just killed jed it's for it's first time i've ever seen jet i struggle to say something man i don't know
05:29:01
Speaker
it's still so wrong modag modag do not encourage him but okay he's already out of control i'm just i'm just pointing out the obvious facilitator of nonsense is what you are a facilitator of nonsense damn it glick that's why my wrench is purple i'm looking at glick's tiktok and it feels so wrong but at the same time it feels so right but right how you left It feels so wrong. Oh, wait a minute. Need more Jergens.
05:29:34
Speaker
right Running a little dry. Calm down, Heath Ledger. You can complete me. are you to Hold on a goddamn second. Or end you.
05:29:45
Speaker
Yeah, you can end me, I guess. Making a Heath Ledger reference. How dare you this late at night? It's been tried. I'm apparently immortal. I can't die. I'm a god. At the end of the day,
05:30:02
Speaker
um my god
05:30:04
Speaker
You're a demigod. And you're humble. I mean, you know, so you got that got that going for you. And you're humble. Click's going on my my god. Ladies and gentlemen, if you take anything from the six hours of bullshit that we've done tonight. now That was a funny show was all was a good show. I'm very humble.
05:30:29
Speaker
Yeah. ah You're humble fucking hanging out on Bumble. You're as humble as Jedi is six foot tall, man. Exactly. exactly I hate to bring it to you, Jedi, but your mom, she's very...
05:30:47
Speaker
Bull, if you know what I mean. She gave birth to greatness, okay? That's all that you said about your mom. She might have gave birth to those streaks in his beard, too. Just saying.
05:30:59
Speaker
Ha, ha, ha.
05:31:04
Speaker
when you look at When you look at Glick's beard Do you feel the need to say Daddy Oh my god Jenna Are you my illegitimate bastard child I told her to swallow And she said come inside hey Look he's he's confused again He's confused again Inviting me into the house for dinner Apparently I was wrong I'm your dad i I Mom who's this man that tries to pick me up from school Every day What the fuck He's supposed to be 100 yards away from a school at all times. What's going on here?
05:31:42
Speaker
Who are all those CIA agents in that van following him?
05:31:49
Speaker
Man, I'm so glad I'm not like you guys. me You are. one bus just Just over here reading my scripture and shit. Yeah, my ass.
05:32:02
Speaker
but didn't I didn't say where it was tattooed. I mean, it just said it was reading it. you know you are Yeah, mean he did yoga so he can read his ass tattooed. Or if I had too much.
05:32:15
Speaker
Kayla's going to break up with me.
05:32:20
Speaker
Probably for the best. She deserves better. Shut up, Jedi. Is this going to be another one where you wake up in the morning and go, fuck, I'm single again, man. yeah I don told her that. I said, am I going to wake up first?
05:32:36
Speaker
The fuck? How did I wake up single again? God damn it. She brought me one. ah Dude, where's my car? said She's like, you ain't getting too
Relationship Banter
05:32:45
Speaker
bitch. Here, you got one.
05:32:48
Speaker
Now, get back to rubbing my feet, bitch. Dude, she literally just brought her feet back. She did not give you permission to stop, Glick. Get back after it. She said, I walked to the kitchen and made her feet cold, man. Get back to work.
05:33:02
Speaker
Yeah, it is Your feet are cold, baby.
05:33:08
Speaker
That's because all you've been doing stroking her big toe, man. What the fuck? You work the whole foot, dude. She's got nine other ones, bro. Quit playing favorites. I got big hands.
05:33:19
Speaker
got I got the whole foot kind of covered. Got the whole world in my hands. I got your whole foot in my hands.
05:33:30
Speaker
i thought you' were going to say mouth, but go That's where I thought he was going with it, too. I was i was trying to keep it safe for work. See, the problem is he goes to suck her big toe and her baby toe gets caught in his beard and shit. It's all tangled up. yeah It's like sea turtles getting caught in the fucking cutouts. In the fishing nets and shit, man.
05:33:53
Speaker
yeah Literally bit her big toe earlier as a joke and she was like, God, no. No. She's like, lick. No bite. Lick.
05:34:04
Speaker
Nope. That was an appropriate answer because I'm not a foot guy. I'm not going to suckle your toes. I'm not going to ejaculate. I'm a big fan of my feet. They help me get around, but other than that, no. Yeah, that's all my feet are for.
05:34:18
Speaker
And they don't even work half the goddamn time. Those feet were... That's because you're a fucking Michigan fan. You I mean, at the end of the day, a win is win.
05:34:32
Speaker
Okay. At the end of the day, a glick is a glick. So who won today? Did Michigan beat the Spartans? Did they beat them? If they didn't, they'd need to hang their fucking head.
05:34:44
Speaker
I agree, and I would have probably killed myself on this live stream if we didn't beat Michigan State. Jesus. Calm down. Yeah, I didn't shoot myself in the head. don't know why we were live, so I'll just leave this room. Okay, so it's all good. He sucks some toes instead.
05:35:00
Speaker
I mean, I'm sorry. I would have unaligned myself. on
Karaoke and Music Jokes
05:35:05
Speaker
it We had a guy back when I was married. We had a cottage down on a lake in Kentucky, right? And there was just one guy on a fucking lake that had ah Spartan.
05:35:14
Speaker
No, Williamstown. Okay. But he had the yeah there' their shed that sat down by the lake that had all the like life jackets and pull toys and shit like that. you know he was he went to you know He was a Spartan fan. He went to Michigan State. So he had it painted all green with the white Trojan and you know the hat and the head and all that.
05:35:33
Speaker
And probably during the dawn of summer when it's busy when everybody and their brother's fucking down there. Because it's it's in Kentucky, right? It's only like 40 minutes south Cincinnati. So There's shit ton of Ohio State, University of Cincinnati, and UK Wildcat fans, right? That's what makes up 99% of the people on the league.
05:35:52
Speaker
And then you got him. And probably every probably fourth weekend, every third or fourth weekend, he had to repaint his shit because somebody would get out there to face that shit. I would have probably drowned him. Dude, just pick something else, man.
05:36:06
Speaker
Yeah, I would have drowned him. it was It was like a location joke. It had to be there for it to be funny, but it was like one of the jokes on the lake. I get it. We were at Walmart today, and some big, fat Walmartian was wearing Miami clothes.
05:36:24
Speaker
Walmartian. I was like, tell me you've been a Miami fan since this season without telling me you've been a Miami. Miami Hurricanes.
05:36:36
Speaker
In St. Clairville, Ohio, which is basically damn near West Virginia. And this goofy, fat Wal-Martian was wearing all Miami shit.
05:36:48
Speaker
And it was like, hmm. Suspect. Yeah, like he had a fresh, brand new Miami hat, and his shirt was way too clean. And and it was like, yeah, you've been playing.
05:37:02
Speaker
so What up, numbnuts? right, let's see you sing in karaoke, man. It's not karaoke. I asked Southern Outlaws to do a cover with me.
05:37:18
Speaker
It's an original Stephen Lynch song. Oh, is it My Penis? No, that's Rodney Harrington. Dear Penis. No, that was Stephen Lynch. That was Stephen Lynch.
05:37:29
Speaker
He's got a hot penis. My Penis, that's Rodney Harrington. No, dear penis. is dear penis. Dear penis. Yeah, my penis is Steven Lynch. I don't like you you any anymore.
05:37:44
Speaker
I don't think I know that one, or I know it I just don't know penis. You'd hear and you'd be like, oh yeah, that one. And he said, dear Rodney.
05:37:55
Speaker
ah ah Is Rodney Carrington still doing shit? Yes, he's alive as well. Stop it.
05:38:07
Speaker
He's milking it for all it's worth, man. The original fucking song is nothing like this timing. I've been practicing for fucking days. Because I don't sing.
05:38:18
Speaker
I sling big jokes. So wait a minute. You did... you did what What did you do? Did you do one song or two songs?
05:38:27
Speaker
There could have been two. But the first one was so fucking bad, I wasn't doing the second one. what Which one did you do? Also, also I wasn't 100% sure, but there was a deep feeling that maybe I was getting divorced.
05:38:41
Speaker
Fuck. No, don't do that. I don't blame her. You got to listen to those, man. Hey, Sue, I know a guy. Sue cannot hear you.
05:38:53
Speaker
She was upstairs away from me. God damn it. see She got away from him as soon as they got out of the fucking car in the driveway, man. He could have simply said, she's upstairs.
05:39:04
Speaker
He said, no, she's away from you. She's away from you is where she's at, Michael. All right. Can you see this fucking shit? i don't know.
05:39:14
Speaker
Not yet. No, you can't do it. God damn it. How the fuck it works with this shit? This.
05:39:26
Speaker
What
05:39:29
Speaker
song did you do? You'll have to hear it. Can you not see my screen? No. Hold on. Stand by. Do this. Do that. Shh. Don't talk. I got 20 minutes. Before I...
05:39:41
Speaker
yeah hold up good don't talk that twenty minutes
05:39:48
Speaker
for i oh Alright, now we see it. So stay right there. Here you go. I got married five weeks ago
Song Dedication Humor
05:40:06
Speaker
today. Five weeks ago today. I don't trust your judgment, but this song goes out to my name.
05:40:11
Speaker
If I
05:40:27
Speaker
If I had a sailor ship, I'd take a trip If I had the poet's hand, I'd write a verse for thee If I had the painter's touch on canvas, you would be But I don't have a hand, and I don't have a ship So I can't build you my house, and I cannot take the script I'll never have a poet's hand Never will I answer the king of grace, for will not break your verse, nor will moralize your
05:41:05
Speaker
And also, you almost certainly now have heard it. I love you. For my lady!
05:41:17
Speaker
Fuck you, man, laughing cocksuckers.
05:41:22
Speaker
Fuck you. Fuck you. we're We're laughing on the inside, man. You're so cool. And Dave was great.
05:41:31
Speaker
Dave's always great. He was so off time. That's not the time of that song at all. I understand why Sue wants a divorce. think in this moment i think I don't think it's too late to get an old.
05:41:47
Speaker
There's no annulment, man. This fucking house is mine.
05:41:51
Speaker
Come on.
Bluegrass Music Trivia
05:41:53
Speaker
you really yeah easily You really cradled Arliss's balls and and and and brought Bill up for that?
05:42:05
Speaker
So, what's it like? I thought Brittany was here for a second. Shit. ah and wild but know evil god da ah thought brittany was here for a second ah ah no doubt Remember that fucking Saturday like you were like Brittany you got the ball Europe you got the con she was fucking banning motherfuckers left right and center i do I'm trying to figure out what he what the hell happened to Tarantula I was looking at that tonight because... yeah, where the fuck is she? Yeah, that was abrupt, man. I've had a couple other people. She talked to me afterwards, and she said was all good.
05:42:43
Speaker
just had a supper on my show or our Wednesday show or Saturday tonight, yeah. But i haven't really been around much tonight. She bounced like a basketball in LeBron's fucking bathroom, man.
05:42:55
Speaker
Wait, was Trensley here? I didn't even see her. No, not tonight. A few weeks back. Okay. Well, haven't seen there. There's blocke locking here Black Black Dragon here? I was excited for what you were going to do tonight, but that was kind of a swing in the mis and a miss. And don't know that's on you or it's on other things.
05:43:12
Speaker
No, it's on me. Professional idiot. I just wanted to make a fool of myself with those guys. Fucking love Dave Weidlager. Love Artis Weidlager. That new drummer they got, man, Micah, is fucking badass.
05:43:24
Speaker
That was an acoustic drum. He was the only motherfucker at the acoustic set playing acoustic. Yeah.
05:43:32
Speaker
Glicks House of Music, motherfucker. I got a trivia question for you, music man.
05:43:37
Speaker
Who is considered the best bluegrass drummer of all time?
05:43:49
Speaker
Batman. You get that joke? You get the joke, Lazy? no qui he just heard what i whispered because blue yeah i what what i this i found the guitar and the vocals drummers and their drums and bluegrass good for the win yeah quicksilver one of the most fucking amazing uh bluegrass bands of all fucking time quicksilver is a really horrible john fishman of fish
05:44:21
Speaker
the moniker of best bluegrass drummer of all time.
05:44:27
Speaker
And that was a big joke. I was at the show. I was the only motherfucker laughing in my entire section. It's you dumb bitches don't even know what fucking music is. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing about blues. It comes down to the guitar. the What blues? Bluegrass. That's why every... And everybody knows... Why is the grass so blue?
05:44:48
Speaker
Chubby Checker. Blues, guitar. Stevie black Ray Vaughan. Vocals. um yeah Why am I drawing a blank?
05:45:03
Speaker
You're reading a bunch of artists that are not bluegrass artists. Michael Healy. From The Blind Cat. The Blind. yeah like kid It's not Michael. It's Jeff. Jeff Healy.
05:45:14
Speaker
Jeff Healy. Yes, Jeff Healy. What movie? What movie? The Double Douche. Brody.
05:45:23
Speaker
Jeff Healy, one of the ultimate motherfucking pickers. Couldn't see. Here's a great trivia question for you. The band played um Rocky Mountain High tonight.
05:45:36
Speaker
No. Rocky Mountain... Fuck. What? What? Very famous recording studio. what very famous um recording studio Rocky Mountain Away by Joe Walsh was the first and the last song ever recorded there.
05:45:55
Speaker
What is that studio?
05:46:01
Speaker
Jim Bob's recording studio. and because the old did have no idea I didn't study for this pop quiz. Caribou Studios in Caribou, Colorado.
05:46:14
Speaker
The only reason he knows that is because he literally it. And you get a free Caribou coffee. Now get this bullshit. Stevie Wonder, what's his vision status?
05:46:26
Speaker
ah He ain't totally fucking blind. Right, but he ain't totally fucking sightful either. No. In Caribou, Colorado, they have a fucking parade every goddamn year. Stevie Wonder drove the lead float their fucking parade one year.
05:46:43
Speaker
um grab there's There's so many instances of people like making hand movements and like almost accidentally tripping and shit close to him where he puts his arms out real quick to fucking try to catch him and shit because he saw that shit.
05:46:56
Speaker
He's not fucking totally blind. ah not He's a blind Joe Wallace. Are you saying that Stevie Wonder is actually Daredevil?
05:47:08
Speaker
No. What I'm saying is Eddie Murphy was impressed. You want to impress me? Take the wheel, motherfucker. Take the wheel, bitch. Yeah, it was good.
05:47:20
Speaker
I couldn't believe it when I read that shit. Oh, that sounds fine. just so underrated, man. Eddie Murphy raw. although i suspicious right yeah yeah like thats just so underrated man eddie murphy raw That shit came out when I was in like 11th grade in high school. motherfucker What is that Stevie Wonder song? It's kind of like Suspicious Minds by Elvis. It's called Ain't Superstitious. or Superstitious.
05:47:47
Speaker
super yeah yeah Superstitious. superstitious. I'm not superstitious. rating on the wow i'm not superstitious i'm only a littleitious um judge Right.
Mansfield and Movie History
05:48:04
Speaker
I'm the same way. Just a little stitious.
05:48:08
Speaker
romo um and where i go I don't know how full the hotel will get and how fast. But depending on who all shows up, you seem solid.
05:48:21
Speaker
You keep you keep keep showing the same face over and over again. You can stay in my fucking house. Well, that's what was telling him. I got i got family. He lives in Mansfield, like two hours south of there.
05:48:33
Speaker
so No, it's only about an hour and 45 minutes. It's almost two weeks to just a hair south. Yeah. So if I do come up, I'll probably just drive back afterwards, go down to their house, and hang out i done for a day or so.
05:48:45
Speaker
Mansfield is a small town feel with big city fucking danger. Oh, I know. Big city danger. My sister and my nieces have lived there for like, fuck, 40 years, man.
05:48:58
Speaker
I remember Mansfield when Mansfield was a small town and didn't have all the fucking danger. When it was like... What town? Mansfield. I remember... I knew Mansfield before Mansfield.
05:49:12
Speaker
Mansfield's like, oddly enough, like in the top three fucking like worst cities in Ohio for crime. I wouldn't doubt it. The very first fucking time I showed up there headlined,
05:49:24
Speaker
One of the other comedians was a sober guy. So he drove me and my hillbilly girlfriend at the time, Lindsay, all over town. And the place we were supposed to go back to at the end of the night, thank God Lindsay got too drunk to go out.
05:49:36
Speaker
She was like, dang, I was home. That motherfucker, right about the time he would have showed up, had a shooting there. three fucking minutes later, there was a shooting in the American region.
05:49:48
Speaker
but Two motherfuckers got ran over on their way. like the People shot escaping, ran two people over in the parking lot. It's gotten bad in the last, especially the last years. Yeah, that was 24 years ago.
05:50:01
Speaker
Yeah, had my... 2020. It was COVID year. COVID year, 2020. Yeah, Mansfield's gotten bad. Wow. twenty twenty but was covid year covid year twenty twenty yeah mansfield's gotten bad oh Well, they live they live out on the outskirts of Manfield where it's all quiet and still, you know, all the neighbors know each other and everything's cool. the mirror nancy Little Kentucky.
05:50:25
Speaker
and Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know why people say that, but Kentucky is really not that bad. There's a fucking part of Mansfield called Little Kentucky. a Oh, I didn't know that.
05:50:38
Speaker
okay The Kentucky motherfuckers that want to work the mines and shit and just be fucking redneckers and moonshiners, they move up to Ohio and get shitty factory jobs. i It's called a Little Kentucky. It's a real place.
05:50:54
Speaker
Mansfield's a fucked up town.
05:50:57
Speaker
My dad's dad. So, two movies. Had major scenes filmed at the Mansfield Reformatory. if you give you one, three, boom, Shawshank.
05:51:10
Speaker
What's the other one?
Estate Sales Stories
05:51:12
Speaker
There's actually two others. he did everything That were filmed at the Reformatory? This one he tried? Midnight? I mean, the only one I know about is Shawshank.
05:51:22
Speaker
taken by Air Force One. Remember that one with Harrison Ford? Yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. It They let that Russian general out, remember? ah wash I was at the watch. He came walking out the front gates of the Mansfield.
05:51:36
Speaker
Okay, okay
05:51:39
Speaker
okay. I have a cousin who murdered the motherfucker in broad daylight because he killed his wife. and Thanks, cocaine. He did a stretch at Mansfield before it was closed.
05:51:50
Speaker
Not allowed in the house. I did an overnight ghost hunt in Mansfield. Yeah, I've done that. Ghost hunt shit.
05:51:59
Speaker
And, uh, yeah, I used to know, um, he doesn't do it anymore. He retired. Like it was probably five years ago now, but my, uh, my niece's son used to date the daughter of the guy that ran like basically the public relations center there at the reformatory after it was closed.
05:52:22
Speaker
So yeah, we got in there one night, me and me and him and you know, his daughter basically. And, A few other friends. They got to just tool around in there at night and shit, you know, see if we could catch some ghosts and all that shit. It was cool. long ago were you ah yeah sure This was probably, fuck, that was probably 15 years ago when we did that. The guy the guy just retired about six years ago.
05:52:49
Speaker
Was the new prison built next door already? Yeah, yeah. How weird was it? Like you can take pictures all over the place, but not here because there's windows that face down on the other. Yeah. wow Right. Yep.
05:53:02
Speaker
So my, my, my sister was married to, he passed away like two years ago. Right. But they were married for like 35 years, whatever. She was married to a guy that was in the air national guard and the one and only duty station he ever fucking had was that law. Um, air force base, which is,
05:53:18
Speaker
half a mile down the road from the reformatory. So we used to go past that all the time and shit when we'd be going, you know, see Jean at work and, you know, the whole nine yards. But, uh, yeah. So it was kind of cool.
05:53:31
Speaker
What's that? Where are you from originally? Uh, I'm from Ohio. was from Cincinnati originally. Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. yeah You've got that non-regional dialect. That's why i was always curious.
05:53:43
Speaker
Yep. Yep. Yeah. That's why i hear when I talk to people, like when I was stationed down South and shit, And they'd be like, you got a funny accent. And I'd be like, I don't have a fucking accent. What are you talking about? Like, exactly. I literally don't have a fucking accent, you know, especially these motherfucking South Kackalacky motherfuckers. I'm like, you hillbilly talking about fire.
05:54:02
Speaker
Tell me I got a fucking accent. What the fuck? To be fair, though, a lot of people near york Cincinnati, like Hamilton area, they got that fucking Kentucky twan. That's why they called Hamilton.
05:54:13
Speaker
You know, shit. One of my college roommates. had all sorts of disposable income and no brains. He bought a stand-up fucking Mortal Kombat 3 machine, like an arcade stand-up box machine for 5G.
05:54:32
Speaker
And I remember getting my ass kicked a lot on that game, and I couldn't believe ah college kid would waste his money on that shit when there's so many good fucking drugs to get.
05:54:46
Speaker
He probably made some money off of it in the end. Was he charging people to use it? Absolutely not. It was in our house.
05:54:53
Speaker
At some point it was like, yeah, some people are going to have to start playing or paying. I was like, you know, fuck yourself, Adam. I say my my ex-wife, man, her dad had his own jack-of-all-trades business, right? Like the name of it was TJ Flooring, but he did flooring, roofs, driveways. He did whatever, right? He basically was a general contractor.
05:55:12
Speaker
And he was good at what he did. But there was a lot of fucking jobs he would take on, and they'd be short on payments. And he had this knack for whatever fucking reason. They'd be $3,000 short on their bill, whatever it was, right?
05:55:26
Speaker
he He had so many fucking arcade like stand-up arcade games like Pac-Man and Asteroids and you know like all those kind of... We used to play back in the arcade halls and shit.
05:55:37
Speaker
He had like 12 of them fucking things in his fucking house. you know Because people would be like, Well, I can pay you this, but will you take this arcade game as, you know, as the rest of the fucking payment, you know? Will you take your sister in trade? Yeah, exactly.
05:55:50
Speaker
You know? So he had like 12 of them scattered throughout the fucking house in the basement and shit. Oh, wow. Which was kind of cool when I was like dating his daughter, you know, as a teenager. You know, it was cool back then, but, you know, after he died, I told him.
05:56:02
Speaker
my now ex-wife but i told her and her mom then i was like sell that shit man some of those are worth some fucking money man they were like they were pristine they weren't in arcade halls that had been like tore up beat up had bills you beer spilled on them and shit they were like brand fucking new basically because somebody bought it new and had it in their home you know but yeah so they ended up selling like i don't know five or six of them and were shocked when they were able to get you know three four thousand bucks for each one of them you know great like but in the Especially in the condition they were in. i mean They were a pristine fucking condition.
05:56:36
Speaker
you know right
Future Plans and Goodbyes
05:56:37
Speaker
Probably had less than 70 fucking hours playing time on them. Wow. i mean This guy brought this motherfucker brand new. Mortal Kombat 3 just came out in arcades.
05:56:49
Speaker
They spent 5G's and change. yeah i'm bo yeah Sitting in our goddamn living room on Roosevelt Street in Toledo, Ohio.
05:57:00
Speaker
Yep. It's weird. I can find shit like that, man. I used to go around to like estate sales just for the fuck of it and see, know, like being ah a photographer on the side, right? I've been doing this shit for like 18 years, but, um, you'd be surprised, man. You'd find like old cameras, like where grandpa was a photographer, right?
05:57:19
Speaker
And he dies and it's just, just sitting up in the attic, you know, in his camera case. And he's got, you know, cameras that are worth $8,000 still today. you know, and professional lenses that are still worth two and three grand a piece.
05:57:32
Speaker
And the motherfuckers don't know it. They're just doing an estate sale. Right. I picked, I picked up so much fucking like pristine, like to this day, I've i've got, I've got lenses that are like 40 years old that are professional glass from back in the, you know, 40 years ago. That was like professional level of the lens, right.
05:57:49
Speaker
That a real photographer today knows the value of that and will still pay between anywhere from $1,800 to $4,200 for some of these lenses I got. The most I ever fucking paid off of off of like estate sales and like sniping shit on eBay, the most I ever paid was like $40 plus $12 shipping, you know?
05:58:09
Speaker
i I've told my kids, I've told my kids when I die, do not just do that shit with my stuff. Like take, take, take a little bit extra time, go find a fucking photography blog or something like that, you know, that like knows what shit's worth.
05:58:24
Speaker
And you'll be able to make some fucking money. You know? You'll be able to make some fucking money. How many kids you Kidults. They're 40 and 37. I used to have two kids.
05:58:35
Speaker
i I said I should have, like, patented that fucking term 30 years ago. Kidults. There he is.
05:58:45
Speaker
That looks like the I'm getting ready to shut this shit down face on Glick. Watch this.
05:58:52
Speaker
I am... Michael can bring it back up. 558. Yeah. bring and out water we got hit that six hour mark Well, personally, I'm going hit the rack because I got get up to grandpa shit in the morning. But it's good hanging out with you guys, man. Thanks for having me up. good No dogs speaking to Grandpa, if you hadn't heard.
05:59:16
Speaker
Uncle Daddy's going to be an Uncle Grandpa in March. Yeah, I heard say it earlier, man. Congratulations. tell you about it really sad i guess i guess I got four of them, man. 12, 10, 6, and 3. there Wow, holy shit. oh yeah Damn old. You said it fucking early. You said it fucking early and not pulling out early.
05:59:37
Speaker
I had two kids, figured out what was causing it, fix that shit. Guys, hold on.