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Season 3 Ep. 3: Is Tutoring Really The Answer? What To Expect From For Your First Grader
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When a school or teacher suggests tutoring, it can feel confusing, triggering, or even alarming — especially if you don’t understand the school’s actual plan to support your child. In this quick episode, Miss Beth breaks down what to do in that moment and what every parent needs to know before hiring a tutor in first grade.
You’ll learn:
- what schools are expected to do before recommending outside tutoring
- the key questions to ask when a teacher brings it up
- how to advocate for your child (even if you don’t realize you need to)
- what first-grade support should look like
- a simple script to get clear answers and keep communication collaborative
If you’ve ever wondered whether tutoring is the right next step — or if your school should be doing more — this episode will give you clarity, confidence, and the exact words to say.
First Grade RESET doors now open! Until 11/23
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Time Constraints
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the Plan Words podcast. It's Miss Beth and it is 5.42 p.m. and we are trying to leave for dinner at 6. So this is going to be a short and sweet episode, fully right to
Early Tutoring Recommendations: A Controversial Approach
00:00:11
Speaker
the point. But I have a big story that I need to share because I have talked to so many first grade parents about this almost exact same scenario. So I recently had a parent share with me that their child's first grade teacher suggested tutoring.
00:00:25
Speaker
within the first four weeks of school. And it had me feeling some type of way. So I went to check myself with all my other teacher friends and principal friends, and they also were surprised at this. um And the reason...
00:00:37
Speaker
that they were surprised is that in the first few weeks of first grade, there's a lot of learning happening. It wouldn't be surprising for a child's teacher to send an email saying she's struggling with her phonological awareness. We picked that up really quickly. And here's the great news.
00:00:56
Speaker
We have a reading specialist at the school. She's going to pull her out twice a week. Or here is the plan that we are going to take in the classroom and out of the classroom and what you can do at home.
00:01:08
Speaker
But to just jump straight to you need an outside tutor had all me and my friends shocked. So if you have ever felt blindsided by a suggestion, maybe not specifically like this, but in general, you are not alone.
Challenges of First Grade Transition
00:01:26
Speaker
It's a new school year. Kids are settling in It takes a while for kids to feel confident and comfortable. First grade is a big transition academically and socially. This child came from a play-based kindergarten.
00:01:39
Speaker
So the first four weeks of first grade are going to be a big shock academically, going from play-based to a pretty rigorous academic load. teachers are still learning the things that their students can do. Their strengths, their challenges, their temperaments, their stamina, what their last school year was like, who they get along with.
00:02:02
Speaker
A lot is happening in the first few weeks of school. The first few weeks of school in kindergarten and first grade are really not the time that you can get an accurate picture of what your child or student can and can't do. Unless it is something glaring like...
00:02:19
Speaker
They're really struggling with speech, or they cry every day, or they are really upset and can't make friends.
Concerns Over External Tutoring Suggestions
00:02:27
Speaker
They can't do transitions. They can't even write their name.
00:02:31
Speaker
These are things that would be like, okay, we definitely need to have a meeting. But to jump right to you need to get outside tutoring had me fired up because... This mom that came to me has known me since her baby was three weeks old.
00:02:45
Speaker
um She was in my baby class. I remember her walking in with her baby girl the first day of class. like i I remember the whole scene. So she has access to resources.
00:02:56
Speaker
She has the financial means to hire me to assess her child and or or anyone to assess her child. And There are so many parents that would hear from a school or a teacher, your child needs tutoring, and they would do anything to get their child that they need. If the teacher says your child needs tutoring, I'm not saying that your child never needs tutoring.
00:03:20
Speaker
But for a school or a teacher to suggest outside tutoring without a plan of action of how they can help the child in the school— really fired me up because there are parents that don't have access to these resources that are going to pick up an extra shift to be able to hire and pay for a tutor for their child when we don't even have a clear picture of what the child is struggling
Importance of Clear Communication and Assessments
00:03:41
Speaker
with.
00:03:41
Speaker
This was vague. They said the child was a little bit struggling, and I helped her craft an email back to the teacher saying, thank you so much for bringing this to our attention. We're so excited to get her the support that she needs.
00:03:54
Speaker
Can you give me a little bit more specific information? Can you send me her phonological awareness assessment? Can you show me her developmental spelling analysis? Can you give me any assessments or reports?
00:04:08
Speaker
The teacher did not have any of that information. They just said they felt that the child was struggling and could use an outside tutor. The tutoring company that they suggested specializes in severe learning disabilities.
00:04:21
Speaker
So once that parent found that out, this was pretty overwhelming to them because they're like, Does she have a learning disability? Which, by the way, is not something that a teacher can typically assess. Maybe the teacher also is a psychologist or a diagnostician.
00:04:39
Speaker
That would be very rare. But a teacher cannot diagnose these things. um Even a reading specialist cannot diagnose dyslexia. They can say, these are the things that I'm noticing, right?
00:04:50
Speaker
These are some things that are in line with a child who might have dyslexia. I would recommend paying attention that, or I would recommend an outside assessment. Those are things that can be said.
00:05:02
Speaker
But a teacher cannot say, I think there's a learning disability here, and then suggest a tutoring company specifically for that. It just sends off so many alarm bells to me and this parent.
00:05:15
Speaker
So...
00:05:19
Speaker
I hope you're getting, if you're as fired up about this as I am. So parent receives a message recommending outside tutoring. Parent didn't know that there was a problem because they thought the school was going to, they they thought there would be more steps in between tutoring First day of first grade, your child needs an outside tutor, which you should expect that.
00:05:41
Speaker
There's a huge emotional reaction, confusion, worry. Is there something wrong with my child? So when a parent hears tutoring that early, it can feel like a red flag when nothing really is even fully formed yet.
00:05:55
Speaker
This is why i was triggered by this. So the problem with early tutoring recommendations is that it can send the message that your child is behind and you need to fix this at home because the school won't meet your child's needs.
Role of Schools in Reading Instruction
00:06:08
Speaker
But at this stage, the first few weeks of first grades the first few weeks of first grade, kids are still adjusting to routines, instructional language, skills take time to establish. And remember I said she was in a play-based classroom last year?
00:06:24
Speaker
Benchmark data isn't even fully collected yet. So this was setting off my alarm bells because they didn't even have any evidence or any research that they were pointing to about why this child was struggling.
00:06:36
Speaker
We cannot determine what need the child has this early. We just can't. So whose job is it to teach? That question comes up, of course. Reading instruction should be the school's job.
00:06:48
Speaker
We should be able to rely on the school to teach your child. Support should begin at home and continue in the classroom. There should be small group instruction, explicit phonics instruction, guided reading in a lot of classrooms with decodable support, intervention blocks or RTI or MTSS,
00:07:07
Speaker
um should be offered before the school recommends that you pay for tutoring with your own personal money. If a child needs extra help, schools are required to provide it during the school day.
00:07:19
Speaker
The solution isn't do more at home. The solution is let's look at how instruction is happening during the day. So when here when the parent emailed and said, can you give me some more information, the teacher responded,
00:07:33
Speaker
ah in my opinion, in a worse way, kind of defensively saying, I assure you, I know what I'm doing, didn't give any of the assessments that the parent asked for, which then put both the parent and the teacher and the child in such an uncomfortable position.
00:07:49
Speaker
So I helped this parent with some language around how to be very direct but kind. It is kind to be clear. So do not worry about advocating for your child because there's no such thing as other people's children. So you advocating for your child is actually you advocating for every child.
00:08:07
Speaker
You might have the resources to get your child an outside tutor. But so often I see so many outside tutors just like getting their homework done. And we're just putting a Band-Aid on, to quote Taylor Swift,
00:08:19
Speaker
Band-Aids don't fix bullet holes. We need to make sure that there is a clear, systematic, structured plan in place. This is why I've created our on-demand courses because i can't i cannot watch people waste their money in private tutoring when you can do it at home and you don't need to be a teacher to be able to help your child and you don't need to have hours and hours. You need five minutes and to really understand how to help your child. You need to feel confident and your child needs to feel confident.
00:08:47
Speaker
so The language parents can use that could be clear and kind would be, to the teacher, thank you for sharing this, before I pursue outside tutoring, I'd like to better understand what support will be provided during the school day.
00:09:01
Speaker
Or, can you show me what data you're using to make this recommendation? I want to make sure we're basing decisions on instruction, not just teaching. adjustments or nerves that might be happening at the beginning of the school year?
Parental Advocacy and Support Strategies
00:09:15
Speaker
Or, how are you supporting decoding and phonics in the classroom right now? I want to make sure that it's aligned with the tutoring that we get outside the school. Or, what interventions does the school currently offer before recommending outside tutoring?
00:09:29
Speaker
I feel a little blindsided by this. Happy to talk on the phone if that's easier. Keep your responses brief. But remember, the responsibility belongs to the school to support your child. And the more you know this and spread this information, the more you are defending and protecting other kids and other parents who might not have the same resources as you do to be able to possibly waste their time and money with the wrong kind of tutor.
00:09:57
Speaker
It is a big deal for a lot of people, and it really has fired me up that we seem to carelessly be recommending tutoring um as if it's not something that the school can help with. So,
00:10:13
Speaker
Parents are not failing their kids, and your kids are not failing, and teachers are not failing. Teachers are often overwhelmed and under-resourced and might be following outdated guidance, and that is not their fault. They are expected to be experts in a lot of things, so you asking for clear information is not rude. It is helpful to every family.
00:10:33
Speaker
Families can absolutely advocate without being confrontational. Your child deserves to be able to learn in school. It should not be a lottery on if your child gets a good teacher or a teacher who's using outdated practices.
00:10:47
Speaker
you your child Every child deserves to learn and feel safe and have the same shot at life. So... Remember that. and Remember, you deserve to feel confident and informed in how to support your child. So I'm fired up about this. And I left this assessment with this family overwhelmed because this mom was like, how am I supposed to know all of this? And i was like, look, I just taught her in one session how to do this. I feel like I can teach her in like three sessions. And she was like, please, do you have any time?
00:11:17
Speaker
And here is the truth. I don't have time to work one-on-one with every family. This is what I've learned over the last 10 years, and I want to. So I'm bringing back the first grade reset, which is a five-day—five days, that's it—five days to get your child on
Introduction to the First Grade Reset Program
00:11:33
Speaker
track.
00:11:33
Speaker
Thank you. do not have to be an expert in any of these things you just need a clear plan and now you have it it's the first grade reset it is coming out i think when we launch this it will be available is under a hundred dollars for five lessons so one week and it comes with one live parent coaching call with me that means as you are doing the course you can write down your questions And get ready to have a call with me.
00:11:58
Speaker
um I'll do a little bit of coaching in real time with you. If you can't make it, you can watch the recording. And each of these days, you are going to get an email from me, one in the morning with your lesson and one at night checking in. It's going to have ah quick either questions to ask your child about their lesson or here's games to play tonight.
00:12:19
Speaker
So in one week, you can make sure your child is set up for success And on track for the rest of the school year, you can do this over Thanksgiving break if you're in the United States or just in the end of November.
00:12:32
Speaker
You will have 30 days to watch the classes. So if you're like, oh, we're traveling for Thanksgiving, it doesn't really work, you'll have 30 days. But the idea of it is that we are trying to do it in one week and you get that coaching call in the week that that you are getting each of the lessons. So the goal is to get your child access to every single strategy that they need.
00:12:55
Speaker
Whether or not they are excelling in first grade, are struggling with spelling, are feeling insecure about reading, your child will feel more confident and you will feel more confident after this one week. Just one week.
00:13:08
Speaker
five days even um over break. So check that out. I'll link it in the show notes. But it was really overwhelming for me to kind of deal with this information and help this one parent. And then in talking with so many other first grade parents, realizing that so many First graders and first grade parents are in the same spot, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like they're not sure what their first grader should know or what's typical spelling or what kind of books they should be reading and how they should be advocating and what they should be looking
Community Support and Resources for Parents
00:13:39
Speaker
for.
00:13:39
Speaker
So that's why i built the first grade reset so parents could have a front row seat to see exactly what your child should know how to do, exactly what's normal for other first graders, um and exactly how to advocate for your child If they're not getting what they need.
00:13:56
Speaker
And you'll get that in the lessons. You'll also get that in that coaching call. I will give you one-on-one support if needed. And also we have financial assistance. So it's under $100 for this first grade reset. But we also have financial assistance. So please, I do not want anything to be a barrier. I want every parent and child to have access to the same resources, to have access to science-backed, research-backed, evidence-backed literacy instruction.
00:14:22
Speaker
I want kids to feel confident in their reading, writing, and spelling. I want parents to know exactly how to support their child in the very, very few minutes. that I know that you probably don't even have in a school day.
00:14:34
Speaker
So please reach out if you need help getting that course. It will start um November 24th and run to the 29th. You'll have it through the end of the year. Plus all the resources. It comes with tons of resources, activities, games, suggestions. This is like our best, best product, I think, because it is so quick, so compact, gets you exactly what you need in a very short amount of time.
00:15:00
Speaker
So welcome back to the First Grid Reset. I can't wait to see you inside of it. And if this struck a nerve or if you feel overwhelmed by something that's happening in your child's school, maybe they're not in first grade, maybe they're in eighth grade, maybe they're in preschool, please reach out. I love to help parents through this.
00:15:15
Speaker
I want to make sure that you know that you are not alone and you have a community. You have the Big City Readers community. You have me. i have your back. And wherever you are in the world, I am here to support you.
00:15:27
Speaker
So thanks for listening. Please check out the first grade reset. Email me or message me on Instagram if you have any questions. And I'll see you in the next episode.