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Season 3 Ep. 1: Back-to-School Anxiety: Parenting Tips & Morning Routines That Work
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Welcome to Season 3 of Play On Words from Big City Readers! In this kickoff episode, Miss Beth dives into one of the most common challenges families face each fall: back-to-school anxiety.
If mornings feel chaotic, drop-offs end in tears, or your child worries about school all weekend, this episode is for you. Drawing from her years of working with families, Beth shares practical, playful, and totally doable strategies to ease anxiety and help your child feel confident about school.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
- The Power of Routine: Why the same breakfast at the same time can reduce stress.
- Connection Items: How a matching bracelet, heart doodle, or silly ritual helps kids feel close to you all day long.
- Drop-Off Rituals That Work: From synchronized car door slams to secret handshakes, small traditions make big transitions smoother.
- Practice Runs: How Saturday morning school visits (plus donuts!) can transform how your child feels about the building.
- Timing Anxiety Talks: Why Saturday mornings beat Sunday nights for reading “first day of school” books and having big feelings conversations.
- The Hardest Step for Parents: How to keep goodbyes short, sweet, and empowering—without feeding the worry loop.
Why It Matters
Instead of letting anxiety take over, these routines give kids jobs to do, helping them channel nervous energy into action. Parents and children become a team, turning the hardest part of the day into a moment of connection and pride.
✨ This episode isn’t just about managing anxiety—it’s about building confidence, connection, and joy around school routines.
Mentioned in this episode:
Read about it on the blog
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Transcript
Season 3 Introduction
00:00:01
miss beth
Welcome back to the Play On Words podcast. You guys, it's Miss Beth, and i am declaring it. This is season three. It is random because I have not done any other seasons, but it's year three of the podcast. So i need a fresh start.
00:00:16
miss beth
And i have a whole bunch of new segments that I want to introduce because I want it to be a little bit easier to follow. So as opposed to just answering random questions from you guys or having a guest, we're going to have a few new segments. So if you're brand new to the podcast, this is the perfect place to start.
00:00:36
miss beth
If you've been here for a while, thank you. i love you.
Summer Camp Reflections
00:00:39
miss beth
um Let's do ah little recap of where we've been because I think we had like four episodes, five episodes released this summer.
00:00:47
miss beth
it was a little bit of a hectic summer. I spent most of my summer living at an all boys summer camp. ah My partner owns ah an all boys summer camp. So I was here like two weeks in May, three weeks in June, three in July, two in August, two in September. I'm actually here right now, um which I realized that is why I feel hectic and I need this restart. So here we are. it's been It was so fun. i had so many ideas. And if you follow follow it on Instagram stories, you saw that I shared moments that I learned,
00:01:24
miss beth
um with a bunch of little boys, but ah played a lot of pickleball, did some jet skiing, learned how to water ski Yesterday we went paddle boarding around the lake and I only fell one time.
00:01:38
miss beth
um lot of kayaking and rock climbing. It was so much fun. I also got to work with a few kids here on reading. um Some of my friends who are in staff here got to share their little ones with me who um live here with them obviously over the summer. So I got to work with an almost kindergartner and ah second grader and one seventh grader. So it helped me get lots of new ideas to share with you
Living with ADHD
00:02:10
miss beth
all. And it also was just so fun for my for for me in general to live at a summer camp, but also like it is so good for your brain to be outside this much. i spend way too much time online and i think it's just like the nature of
00:02:25
miss beth
the world right now, but getting to not, I didn't have service. I don't have service. So like you only could be on your phone when you were in the office. So I loved that for me and for my ADHD brain.
00:02:37
miss beth
Um, so if you have a child with ADHD, remember they need to be outside. Actually, i just shared this recently. My, um, a bunch of my friends are in their forties and they're women just getting diagnosed with ADHD.
00:02:51
miss beth
And they're like, Oh my gosh, I thought this was a personality trait or, Oh my gosh, I thought that something was so wrong with me. I didn't know that this was just my brain being wired differently. So I feel like I am the guru having been diagnosed in the nineties.
00:03:09
miss beth
Uh, if you're listening to this and not watching it on visual, I'm, you know, flipping my hair, ah pretending that it is a and flex, but to get a diagnosis in the 90s, because if you've ah ah dived into this at all, dove into this at all, um that was not, girls, it's harder for girls to get diagnosed.
00:03:28
miss beth
And it was not as talked about as it is now. I think, you know, a lot of people will say there's so much more now. Yeah, probably we have more screens, more, our dopamine levels are harder to regulate because there's so much screen time and um everything is different.
00:03:46
miss beth
But um it i'm I feel like I'm the OG guru for my friends. And so i'm going to share a couple of things that I learned about myself that I shared with them. So if you are suspect that you have ADHD or if you do or your child does, two things that are very important. Number one, protein.
00:04:05
miss beth
If you follow me on Instagram, you know I'm obsessed with with Fairlife protein shakes, don't come at me with the plastic or the whatever. I, you know, like there's something wrong with everything. You can find an alternative to whatever. This is what works for me because even protein powder, the step of making it is one extra step that I did not, that I don't need.
00:04:27
miss beth
So having them in the fridge, immediately having 30 grams of protein right when I wake up is literal game changer. Try it for yourself, try it for your child. But having like 150 grams of protein a day is the best thing for me.
00:04:41
miss beth
The second best thing for me, ah equal, not first or second, is getting outside within the first 15 minutes of waking up. And that's hard in Chicago, gets cold, but like I literally, i my day is different. My day is better if i do it. It's like so good for your brain and I do not look at my screen on my phone for 60 minutes. So don't let, if your child is struggling,
00:05:08
miss beth
Try these three things, heavy protein, no screens for the first hour that they're awake and getting outside as quick as possible.
School Transition Tips
00:05:15
miss beth
Now, today's episode is not about ADHD, but it is about routines. um And I've had, so it's September 17th today, I'm recording this and I'll probably post it today because I just actually had a meeting with someone they were like, so your podcast, you do like once a month. I'm like, no, I'm just,
00:05:35
miss beth
have not been on top of it. um But so I'm either like record it and post it or forget. So anyway, today it's the middle of September and I have had, it's a Wednesday, seven calls, either consultations with a client or friends call me seven. This is really specific about their first or second grader having a terrible transition in school. All of a sudden they are a couple of weeks in,
00:06:05
miss beth
And these moms or dads are saying it is worse than ever, like worse than ah the first time they went to preschool, kindergarten, all of a sudden. And they're like, they've gone to school forever. They have so many friends.
00:06:18
miss beth
What the heck is going on? So I'm going to share some tips that I shared with these clients and friends. But um if you are like, ah my kid's fine. Don't stop listening because these tips are going be helpful for everyone. I promise they might even be helpful for you.
00:06:33
miss beth
um because they're helpful for me. like i my My boyfriend, again, is a camp owner, and he was talking with some parents about their kids also having a really hard time with the school year and transitions. And i he heard me on a call and he goes, can you change your voice to be my voice and send me the last 10 minutes of that call so I can send it to all the parents that I talked to?
00:06:56
miss beth
um Because that was really good advice. So I'm going to give that advice, whether it's a girl, boy, first time in school, three years old, seventh grader having a hard time. These are going to be transition pieces that I hope help you.
00:07:08
miss beth
Um, and maybe they'll help be even yourself. So those, those off the top protein get outside and no screens are great. If you have a trampoline and I highly suggest you have one, whether it's a personal trampoline or a big trampoline.
00:07:22
miss beth
i think a lot of people, especially if you have the yard, have a trampoline or have a neighbor with a trampoline. get your kid out on the trampoline right away when they wake up, rain or shine, winter, summer, get them out on the trampoline, tell them to bundle up, go jump for 10 minutes. That is going to be so good for your child who is having either hard time transitioning or is neurodivergent in any way.
00:07:45
miss beth
So get that body moving. If, if you can get a personal size trampoline, I used to have one. I ran out of space. I gave it to my friend and now I want it again.
00:07:56
miss beth
and I, it was because she had a little, a child who was actually having a hard time transitioning. And I gave it to her like five years ago. Please let me know if you're listening to this, am I allowed to ask for it back? Cause her child's now in high school. Like, should I be like, it was like a nice one. It was like a $300 when it wasn't like the cheapy one. Maybe it was $500. Whatever it was is like, I really liked it, but I just didn't have space. And it was like, she was like, I'll take it We could probably use it. And I gave her the suggestion of getting one.
00:08:22
miss beth
Can I ask for it back? Or do I just, is that like embarrassing? Do I just buy my own? Let me know.
Podcast Segment Previews
00:08:28
miss beth
okay So we're going talk about transitions, but also I wanted to tell you about some of the segments that will be, you'll, you'll be hearing about in season three at the play on words.
00:08:44
miss beth
Okay. This is, this is a silly one, but it's going to be called what's wrong diphthong. And if you don't know, A diphthong is a like spelling rule, or i it's it's it's a it's when two letters come together and make a new sound, similar to a digraph. If you've ever heard me talk about a digraph, but a digraph is usually introduced before a diphthong, but a digraph is when two letters come together and make a new sound, like TH. So we would explicitly say to a child, TH doesn't say T. TH says
00:09:24
miss beth
um or but ah a diphthong is ah when a sound is formed by combining two vowels um in a single syllable. So like o i combining to make OI, OU to make OW,
00:09:42
miss beth
Um, these are diphthongs now. So I think I might do what's wrong diphthong and it not just be about diphthongs, but, um, it will be about like spelling rules. And so it'll be one of your questions because I get so many DMS about spelling rules and, um, like why, how do I tell my child why this word is spelled this way? And i love explaining spelling rules.
00:10:08
miss beth
So that I think is going to be a segment. Also, I'm telling you guys these segments ahead of time, so you can tell me which ones you're excited about. So please send me a message on Instagram, at BigCityReaders, and tell me what ones you're excited about, and send in your questions.
00:10:23
miss beth
Okay, so what's what's wrong diphthong? Two, maybe I'll call it phonics fun. um It's kind of similar to what's wrong diphthong, and it to be honest, it'll probably be me going, do I say what's wrong diphthong today, or do I call it phonics fun?
00:10:38
miss beth
And... It's basically the same thing as that. Hot take book break. I love, as you know, so these are like not things that are new to the podcast. I'm just naming them now. So you can like fast forward to the episode where you want to hear this segment.
00:10:53
miss beth
um Because as you know, I always love to ask anybody that I have on the podcast, what are you reading? But hot take book break will either be what are you reading and tell me, do you love it or hate it?
00:11:06
miss beth
Or it'll be my spicy opinions. on things like the Rainbow Fish. As you know, i hate that book. In fact, I saw a friend with her sweet, sweet baby.
00:11:19
miss beth
reading The Rainbow Fish. And she said sent me the picture. And I said, love this picture, but I hate that book. And she goes, I know, but he likes the picture. Somebody gave it to us. Why is everybody giving The Rainbow Fish? Like, why do we think this is like the best book to give to people when they have a baby? Don't do it.
00:11:36
miss beth
So my hot take book break will be like, if you want to give this book at a baby shower, don't give this one instead. um Instead of The Rainbow Fish, maybe try it The Day You Begin. Okay. um And I'll link that in the show notes.
00:11:49
miss beth
Okay. So those are two segments.
Humor and Anxiety at Camp
00:11:52
miss beth
Okay. I miss Beth's pep talk because you guys have loved the pep talk episodes so much. Um, and I think we have like three pep talk episodes, like a back to school pep talk.
00:12:01
miss beth
Um, and, uh, what did, how to get yourself ready for school, all that stuff, but a back to school pep talk will be a quick motivational moment. where I can help you, whether it's around drop-off. I'll share a story about drop-off or a reading struggle from a consultation I had this week.
00:12:17
miss beth
um Something along those lines, a quick pep talk if you're struggling with X. Sounded out Spotlight. And this is something, you know, we talk about a lot, letting your kids struggle and sounding it out. Like, don't just tell them what the word is.
00:12:33
miss beth
ah But we'll talk about like why. So I'll talk about what happens in a tutoring session. What did I see and what I did? So if your child is struggling with that, for example, like my, I had a student last week that was reading words like rough and thought, but um they were getting them mixed up when they were writing it. They were confusing spelling patterns. So We'll talk about um what to do when kids are getting tripped up in their reading and writing.
00:13:02
miss beth
um Play on words. Now, this one I am excited about because that's the name of the podcast. And, you know, kind of like Taylor Swift, there's always... I think maybe other people do this too, but Taylor Swift is the first musician that comes to mind where you have the name of the album, that song in there, which historically has not ever been my favorite song. Like, you know, the name of like in Evermore, there's the Evermore, the tortured poets in the tortured poets.
00:13:28
miss beth
So there's usually the name of the album, not always name of the album in the song or name of the album as a song. But that will be here. Play on words. So this will be like what we're going explore, like a pun that I like or a funny mispronunciation um or even a classic word joke. So here's one for you.
00:13:51
miss beth
Did you know that there's only 25 letters in the English alphabet?
00:13:57
miss beth
Yeah, I don't know why. Okay, this summer, actually, this was a funny story. I was being introduced. I got here in the middle of second session. you know i went home to do some work for a little bit and then I came back. And so and there's two sessions of camp. There's four weeks and four weeks. Some kids stay for eight weeks.
00:14:15
miss beth
So the kids that were here for the second set of four weeks hadn't met me yet. And so my boyfriend introduced me and he was like, you can ask three questions. And so somebody was like, what is something interesting about you? And I was like,
00:14:29
miss beth
I don't know. Why did I panic? Why did I panic? I literally do this for a living. I speak to people for a living, but I panicked. I don't know. And I said, oh, okay. I used to be ah comedian.
00:14:41
miss beth
And they were like, tell a joke in the the mess halls, banging on the tables, tell a joke, tell a joke. And I couldn't think of any joke. I'm like, didn't know how to explain in that moment to 400 people that like,
00:14:54
miss beth
well, standup comedy is more like storytelling. I can't really like think of a joke and you're seven um or 15, which is honestly worse because like they are meaner.
00:15:06
miss beth
Actually one 15 year old. Okay. So and I'll tell you the one 15 year old story in a minute, but I was like, I can't think of any, but we like had to go to the next thing. And was night programming starting.
00:15:17
miss beth
And I was like, every time to make up for not having a joke, every time you see me for the rest of the summer, i will have a joke ready. And it ended up being great because these kids started coming up to me, introducing themselves. Hi, I'm Sammy.
00:15:31
miss beth
you tell me a joke? They would tell me jokes. It was a great connection piece. You know, kind of like, I don't know if you watch friends, but you know how Rachel doesn't. And she's like, Oh, it's so awkward with Joey.
00:15:43
miss beth
I don't know what to do. And they're like have a shared problem. That's how you work through it. This is a tip for kids too. Not that it would have been awkward. Cause I would have introduce myself to them, but they had a reason to talk to me.
00:15:53
miss beth
You know, they, they felt confident. It's, it's one thing to be like, go say hi, go, go meet a friend. You're so good at and talking to people. Give them a reason. Um,
00:16:05
miss beth
So they had a reason to come talk to me, but a 15 year old, I saw I had to come up with so many dad jokes. And and here's the worst part is that they would come up in groups and then i would tell it. I thought I only had to have one joke a day, but then like people were like, you already told me that I'd had like 30 jokes a day and they had to be, you know, obviously appropriate. And, uh, yeah, it was probably the most stressful part of my summer, but one 15 year old hurt my feelings so much. He said, I heard him say to a friend, she's never told a funny joke.
00:16:35
miss beth
ah hurt my feelings so much. um But I worked through it and it did give me that insight of giving kids something to share with you, um which is connected to what we're going to talk about transitions.
00:16:51
miss beth
Okay. So here's the first tip. If you, ah oh sorry, the last, the last segment will be called homework hall pass. And it'll be things that you can absolutely say no to like memorizing sight words or homework.
00:17:04
miss beth
And yet we're going to talk about how you can absolutely say no to homework in next week's episode. But today, transitions.
Helping Anxious Children
00:17:14
miss beth
My first tip for you, if you have a child who is having a hard time transitioning back to the school year.
00:17:19
miss beth
Now, I talked to a friend. She said her daughter ah screaming, crying. She's loved going to school, screaming, crying. She doesn't know where it's coming from. of course, like let's work with the teacher at the social worker, the school is helping. She's like, what else can I do at home? do you have books?
00:17:33
miss beth
So yes, I sent her a list of books. Um, and I will link those in the show notes as well. But the number one thing that I'm going to tell you to do is not try to squash that anxiety.
00:17:48
miss beth
So we want to say, i know you've probably heard to validate their feelings. And that's true too. You're feeling really overwhelmed right now. It's hard to go back to school and that might work for your child.
00:18:00
miss beth
But I think the better move I've had more success with is just not trying to so we can validate and then we're going to give them a job. So they're having anxiety.
00:18:11
miss beth
So many kids are having so much anxiety. They're having anxiety. We're not going to try and squash that anxiety and say, You're fine. Oh my go you have so many friends. You love your teacher. We're to give it a job to do. So like, we're, we're not going to be able so to stop this energy. That's like vibrating way up here. We're just going to move it to a different area.
00:18:28
miss beth
So you probably heard like nervous and excited are right next to each other. So like, can you make your nervousness excited? yeah. Can you do that with your child's anxiety? So give it a job. I love to do this in my classroom. If I had a child who was not really listening or having a hard time, I would always give them a job. Like, I really need you to bring me this.
00:18:49
miss beth
Or if I have a student not coming to the call, like having pushback, um we just had this with one of my teachers actually a couple weeks ago, was having trouble getting a student to come to the call. I said, okay, you need to bring a pair of goggles and a banana to your next call.
00:19:07
miss beth
um And what that does is it it peaks that part of our brain, right? We're interested. I am hooked. Why does my teacher need me to bring this to her?
00:19:18
miss beth
And so our brain is naturally curious, right? It's the same kind of thing in marketing. It's the same thing in how we pick books that kids like. We want to see that surprise ending. Our brain loves to close the loop.
00:19:31
miss beth
So maybe you're going to watch a video where someone says, don't do this one thing with your kid. And even if it annoys you, your brain has to close that loop. Same thing with kids. So if you're like, your teacher has asked if you would bring this book to her, your brain's like, i got to go see this through.
00:19:46
miss beth
So we're giving it that job. So all of the first and second grade parents that I talked to in the last week, I said, get your teacher involved in this or just like say, okay, I talked to your teacher. She said, she doesn't have this book in the classroom library.
00:19:59
miss beth
We're going to give it to her. Give them the book to bring to the teacher or ask the teacher ahead of time. Like say like, can I get ah anything from your Amazon wishlist? Let your child bring that into the class. And probably the teacher will say, oh, this is so great. I'm going to have them like maybe it's a plant.
00:20:14
miss beth
Then that child, it's their job to go check on that plant for once a week. Maybe the teacher will let them water that plant. So give that anxiety a job. Number two, take a Saturday morning like they're.
00:20:30
miss beth
you know how we have the Sunday scaries. They do too. Kids have them too. So take um Saturday morning, like that's the furthest away from school that they'll ever be. I'm usually on the weekend and go to school, but like practice the routine, not like get up, brush your teeth, but practice just the routine of driving to school, but give them a different job in the car. Their job is to put on a song and going listen to that same song. Maybe it's their favorite song. Maybe it's an upbeat song. Maybe it's a relaxing song. You're going to listen to that same song.
00:20:58
miss beth
for, um, every day when you go to school. So we're like building that routine, right? So just do that on Saturday morning, but maybe you listen song, then you park out in front of school, say, Oh, Hey school.
00:21:08
miss beth
And then you drive away or, and then you go to the coffee shop, or maybe you go to the coffee shop and you get a treat and you eat it in front of school. And you're going to say like, either say nothing, or you're going to be, um, tell your child, like I need to practice this routine more.
00:21:22
miss beth
So we're just going to practice this, but don't use this time to talk about how they're feeling. If they're already that stressed, just like go to the school and leave the school, you know, just practice the routine, use a different time, like, or like in a couple of weeks, talk about more of the feelings. But if they're already really activated, like we're just trying to like reset and make it just fun, the drive to school.
00:21:45
miss beth
Okay. And then third or fourth, I can't remember. You're going to do either get like a physical thing. either a little bracelet, you're to go go get friendship bracelets on Saturday, or you're going draw a little heart. This comes from the book, the kissing hand.
00:21:59
miss beth
Um, again, I'll link these books, draw a little heart on your hand and their hand and say like, okay, every time you touch this, I am going to feel that going to it and we're going be connected. And, um, or the friendship bracelet, you know, you're going say like, okay, when you're, when you feel that way, i want you to like Roll the beads on your bracelet and I'm going to feel it too. And I'm going to give you a big hug and you're going to, you're going to feel, Oh, I'm hugging you. I wish I was with you.
00:22:27
miss beth
And, or ah handshake. This one is so good. My sister did this with her kindergartner when she was having a hard time. Who's now a seventh grader. Um, but a handshake. So part build in that routine. So it's not like maybe the hug is working, but the handshake is like, this is what we're going to do. We're going drive to school. We're going listen. You're going to press play on the song while I drive.
00:22:50
miss beth
We're going park. I'm going to get out of the car, open the door. going do our handshake. And maybe the last part of the handshake is they turn around at the door and they give you finger guns or like give you a thumbs up, two thumbs up, like something really specific in your handshake that is part of the routine is going to help them be like, okay, I have a purpose, not just this big void of like, oh my God, I wake up and then I go and I leave my parents for so long and, uh, but like, no, we've made that void.
00:23:19
miss beth
ah We turned on the lights in that void, right? We've said, okay, actually in that time of like getting to that, that space that feels kind of scary, you actually have a lot of jobs to do. So we don't have as much time to feel anxious because we've got a lot of activities we need to do.
00:23:32
miss beth
We need to have our handshake. We need to do, you know, X, Y, Z. Um, Then you might also say, you might not be able to see them at the window, but you can say, I'm going to as close to your classroom window as I can. I'm going wave for 17 minutes. And usually like kids, you know, when it's something specific, like 17 minutes, like it's kind of silly. We're lightening the mood. Like all these things, little by little, sprinkling, sprinkling are easing some of the anxiety, hopefully. And also remember, this is not going to happen overnight.
00:23:58
miss beth
Um, I'm going to go to the window and I'm going to wait for 17 minutes. You're probably going to be at music by then, but I'm going to stand outside the door. That like reminder that you're standing outside the door is kind of like a healing. It's, it's helpful to kids that are anxious. Like, okay, there, my mom's right outside the door. My dad's right outside the door. My grandma, whoever it is, it's right outside the door. Like I can get to work.
00:24:19
miss beth
It's just that, that kind of like feeling of like, you're with me. you know, the book, the rabbit listened, I have it on the podcast. If you want to go listen to it um with your kids, but the rabbit listened, listened spoiler alert is about, um you know, somebody is trying to make someone laugh um when they're upset. Somebody was trying to, you know, lighten the mood, all these things, but what the child really needed was someone to just listen. So It might be that you just create the space after school for your child to talk about how they're feeling. It might be that they just feel that you're there.
00:24:50
miss beth
So maybe they see you out the window waiting and maybe you do that for a couple of days or maybe they don't see your their classrooms on the third floor, but you just tell them and spoiler alert, you don't really have to wait if you if they can't see you.
00:25:01
miss beth
Just like that idea that like, going to be here. And then this subtle shift, you know, i am all about the subtle shifts. So not ah in a subtle shift being like, if you read all of these books, I'll let you stay up late on Friday and watch movies. But like when you read all of these books, we're going to have to talk about them. So then we're going to have to stay up late so we can watch a movie after we talk about them.
00:25:23
miss beth
So it's that shuttle, subtle shift, shuttle shift ah from if to when. and that really makes a difference over time with kids. So that subtle shift of, um, when I pick you up from school, we're going to get ice cream. Not if you're going to school without crying, we can go to treat.
00:25:43
miss beth
So talk about the, what you are going to do when you see them again, when you are reunited, this is going to be huge. Um, and even like the, the subtle shift of saying like,
00:25:55
miss beth
Um, you know, one, one parent was, uh, said like, okay, you know, I then was like, okay, I stayed for a while. And then I said, I'm going to go now that reactivates that anxiety. You're leaving me. Oh my gosh. When am I ever going to see you again?
00:26:07
miss beth
But If you say like, okay, we did our handshake. I'm going to go wait at the door and then I will see you when the bell rings. That shift from then I'm going to go to and then I will see you at three o'clock is small way we're rewiring that anxiety in the brain to not feel so stressed, but to remember like, okay, yeah, there's a plan. There's an end to this day.
00:26:30
miss beth
In a lot of classrooms, there's visual calendars, like kids, even before they can read the words, they can see like, okay, it's writing for this many minutes, then it's recess. You can do this at home as well. And I'm going to link this also in the show notes.
00:26:43
miss beth
Get a visual calendar for your morning routine. I have one that you can use and it's like just pictures and words. And it's like what we're going to do. So anxiety loves unknowns.
00:26:55
miss beth
But if we can just name and name, my favorite definition of anxiety an it's an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of your ability to deal with it.
00:27:07
miss beth
So we have overestimated the problem, right? School is so long. I don't know when I'm going to see my parents again. It's such a big amount of time. Underestimating how we can work through it. So giving tools makes us, reminds reminds kids, okay, I do know what to do.
00:27:25
miss beth
So we're right-sizing the problem by being like, you're safe, you're loved. Here's how the morning is gonna go. Here's your job. Here's what I'm gonna do while you're at school. And here's our plan when I get there. So we are right-sizing the problem and we are giving the exact strategic plan movements that they're going to do throughout the day. So give them a visual routine as well. Print this out from, from the link in my show notes. It's a free download, but it's going to be, you know, morning brush teeth, brush hair. Like you can do your own. You could just make it on a post-it so they can like see, check, check, check.
00:27:58
miss beth
It does not have to be this big laminated, beautiful thing with switches and light bulb. Like just do it on a post-it, do whatever you have, but let them see the order of events. And then it's going to school,
00:28:10
miss beth
And then it's going to be pickup and ice cream or whatever it is. So I would say don't, in summary, don't try to squash it. Spend a short amount of time validating their feelings. Let them like say how they feel and say like, yeah, it's scary. I understand. I felt that way when I went to my new tennis lesson.
00:28:29
miss beth
And here's how we're going to do it Do a reset. Like go on Saturday. Don't take that time to talk about it. Just go to the school and have a fun thing. you know, neurons that wire together.
00:28:39
miss beth
fire together, wire together. So we're firing, exciting, the dopamine hit of a donut and my favorite song. And then we're going to the park with, we also drove to the school that morning. So we're we're wiring those neurons together. It's exciting.
00:28:53
miss beth
It's not scary. And then also we're still having connection. Our, our grownups are still with us, um, in that time. so do a fun reset and then have that same routine, the same song, read some books if you want about like having big feelings and how it's hard and have some conversations, but keep them short, let there be an end to them and then move on. Like don't dwell too much.
00:29:15
miss beth
And similarly with school drop off, like have your routine, do your things, you know, kiss your heart on your hand, do your handshake, tell them you're going to wait and then, and then move on and be done.
00:29:26
miss beth
Um, this is of course, like, don't, and don't do anything that doesn't feel good. If they're like screaming, crying, like you don't have to, don't, I'm not saying rip your child away from you, but keep the routine and and be brief. The longer we linger, the more opportunity there is for kids to start going, Oh no, my mom's still here. Should I go give her one more hug?
00:29:43
miss beth
I was an anxious kid. Oh my gosh. Was I an anxious kid? I will share a picture of me going, crying every day, going to school, but I was so anxious and I remember my mom talking outside of school and I said goodbye. And like, she was there and like, should I give one more hug?
00:29:57
miss beth
And you know, like, then it's like this panic, like she's still there. Should go give another hug? Like be brief, do the routine, make sure they're safe and move on. And shift from saying like, it's time for me to go now to, can't wait to see you at the end of the day. And then we'll go get ice cream.
00:30:15
miss beth
Shift from, if you don't cry, then we'll do this to, oh, I know it's hard, but I am going to miss you so much. And when I pick you up, we are going to go to the park. So those subtle shifts, giving that anxiety a job and read some books about it, talk about it, but make sure there's parameters around it. So it's not just like a lot of times anxious kids just feel like they're ruminating in their anxious thoughts.
00:30:37
miss beth
So really try to like put some boundaries around it. Um, and have that routine and stick to it. Like it is your exact plan because that is how we can right size the problem of anxiety.
Collaborating with Teachers
00:30:50
miss beth
And of course, remember to talk to your child's teacher, administration, social workers. They are there to help you. They love to come up with the plan. They love to be on each other's teams. So many of the parents that I've talked to said like, oh, and then the teacher sent a picture or an email and said they're having a great day. And like shout out, kiss kiss the brain, all pat on the back to all those teachers.
00:31:08
miss beth
That is amazing. They are so They have so many things going on. They're being an expert in every subject. They're doing behavior management. They are helping every single child and they're finding the time in the day to give an update to the parent who is worried. So make sure you appreciate your child's teacher um for all of these moments of connection.
00:31:27
miss beth
um and don't forget that you are an expert on your child. Nobody knows your child more than you. So take a minute to think about like, what would you need to be regulated? What, what would help them be regulated? And honestly, share that aloud with your child, like give them some brave brain talk. Say, I felt anxious when I, or I felt worried um when I went to school or when I went to a meeting or when I went to ah soccer practice, whatever you're doing, make sure that you are like narrating that for your child and showing them how you worked through it.
00:31:59
miss beth
um Because that is going to go a long way. Kids don't do what we say, they do what we do, and how we talk to them becomes their inner voice. So make sure you are talking to them in that brave brain talk. Make sure you're narrating what you went through so they know, oh, this is normal.
00:32:17
miss beth
Oh, my mom did this too. Okay. um And remember, you got this. ah It's totally normal. And you are not alone if your child is having some anxiety or some big behaviors right now.
00:32:28
miss beth
um Before I forget, there's one other their book, Ruby Finds a Worry, is a great one for opening the door to talk about worries. And also that is here on the podcast if you want to listen to it as well.
00:32:40
miss beth
um So, check those stories out. I'll link all of these books on back to school transitions and big feelings in the show notes. And I will also link the back to school routines.
Season 3 Focus and Resources
00:32:51
miss beth
Um, but that is, that's all I have for you today. Welcome to season three of the play on words podcast. I'm your host, miss Beth from big city readers. I'm so excited to deep dive of this school year, all things, learning behaviors, literacy,
00:33:07
miss beth
and early childhood development. And I'm so glad you're here. Please reach out on Instagram or email. If you have any questions, I have a boatload of resources on my website, bigcityreaders.com.
00:33:19
miss beth
Literally free resources. I mean, like tons, printables, games, learning the ABCs, learning to read, um I also have video courses on demand. um And there's also, I have like a searchable blog that talks about scripts on how to email your child's teacher about something uncomfortable, like all so many things. So go search that and reach out if you need anything.
00:33:40
miss beth
I'm so glad to be hanging out with you this season. I'll see you next time.