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Do you Hear the Plumbers Sing?! Living in the Mario World || Mario Month
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In 1985, Super Mario Bros debuted on the NES. Now 40 years on, two podcasters from Scotland don their finest denim overalls to deep dive into what makes the series so iconic today. Let's a go!
In this episode, Satsunami and Martin MacAlistair discuss the implications of living in the world of Mario. While it may seem idyllic to begin with, is there more than meets the eye with this one? Where do the Toads sleep? Are there any elected officials here? And what's it like knowing you're not part of the Mushroom Kingdom's 1%?! All this and more in this episode of Mario Month!
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Transcript
Introduction: Mario's Universe
00:00:00
Speaker
So Martin, I have a weird question for you. Satsu, is this one of these hyper-specific ones always end in some kind of hijinks and podcast related stuff?
00:00:11
Speaker
Well, not exactly, but let's say, hypothetically, I was messing around with some pipes under the sink, and one thing led to another, and now the studio is overrun with talking mushrooms and turtles who are hell-bent world domination. What would you do? Again, hypothetically? Oh, you know, I think you should probably get them on the podcast.
00:00:33
Speaker
Oh, get them on the podcast. It says, though, grab microphone. Welcome to Mario Month.
00:00:41
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to the third episode of Mario Month. My name's Satsunami and joining me today is plumber extraordinaire Martin McAllister. Martin, welcome back.
00:00:53
Speaker
Do you know what? We've done so many episode episodes now and I've still not said it's a me, a Martin. I was debating doing it there but I think I'm just not going to Out of pettiness. Out of pettiness now because I've kind of, I feel like it's the obvious. Oh yeah, it's good to be here man. How things? I honestly thought you were just going to break out your Brooklyn accent for us a second. Hey, I'm recording here. Hey, it's me, Martin McAllister. I don't know why went semi-Hulk Hogan. I going to say it. Let me tell you something, plumbers.
00:01:18
Speaker
No, I'm fine. I'm not going to lie. After that, I drove. After that, I drove. Yeah, now I'm doing great. The sun is not shining. There's storms coming through the UK. Otherwise, handy dandy. So i thought, you know what? We need a holiday. We need somewhere where we can escape. And this is actually...
Diving into Mario's World
00:01:36
Speaker
a sub-series that has been going on for the longest time, and it's not really a sub-series that I have really drawn attention to, that of course being the living in the X-World. So this all kicked off when our mutual friend and fellow co-host Adam and I talked about what it would be like to live in the Pokemon universe, which to this day is not only one of our most popular episodes, but it's one of the weirdest and out-there episodes ever but of course it inspired me to do other episodes of a very similar ilk so andrew and i talked about living in the legend of zelda universe wisteria moth and i talked about living in the sonic universe robotic battle toaster and i got the short end of the straw when we had to talk about living in the warhammer 40k universe honestly those episodes have been so good but i'm actually surprised that you and i haven't done an episode like this before That's because it's going to kill the run of good ones. This is time to bring it way back down. Yeah.
00:02:35
Speaker
Applying the last couple haven't brought the door down. Yeah, see if Worst comes to the worst, just start singing Peaches and it'll all blow over. So anyway, Peaches, but... No, I'm kidding. We haven't gone down yet. Before we go on and talk about what it would be like to live this particular universe, and as well, I've just realised that the last one I did of this was for Dragon Ball month with Andrew, which was yeah a very unique episode. What is your understanding of the Mario universe? Would you say there are consistent factors in it, or does this episode fill you with as much trepidation as I have right now to talk about it Yeah, this was immediately was going to be my starting point was like, yeah what are we defining here? Because we've got the mainline games right, but then even is it Super Mario 2 or 3 that's a theatre show? Yeah. The whole joke is it's like on a stage. Yeah, I think it's 3, you're right. We've got obviously Bowser and Mario are better enemies, but also the go play golf together. Is Paper Mario the same universe? a lot to go on here. I am curious how we're going to define this. I hope you've got something because I have nothing for this.
00:03:41
Speaker
The Mario universe is extremely confusing and as far as I can tell, ah completely unrelated. So good luck. What we doing today? How are we defining this? So for reference for anyone who hasn't heard any of these particular types of episodes before, usually we frame this as my co-host at the
Life in the Mario Universe
00:03:58
Speaker
time. Anyway, until they run away and myself.
00:04:01
Speaker
We end up going into a weird and wonderful, maybe not so wonderful world of either gaming or general pop culture, as it were. And we are living as two normal people. We've not really got many superpowers, but hopefully we're not going to be killed over. because that would be a very short episode.
00:04:21
Speaker
And yeah, we're just going to be diving into what it would be like to live in the world of Mario. And as you said, we have to take several factors into account here, where are we going to be talking about particular games, or are we going to be talking about the film universe? So for the sake of argument, let's more or less stick to the games. We can still reference the films and things.
00:04:46
Speaker
Let's pretend we're from Brooklyn. LAUGHTER The biggest easy guy I think we've ever pulled off there, pretended to be from Brooklyn. But yeah, in terms of the games, we're going to be talking about what it would be like to live there. And we're going to be trying to be a lot more creative with it. For any Mario fans out there, apologies. I know, exactly. First of all, apologies. But second of all, this is just a light-hearted jab and everything at the world of Mario and any other topics that come up. We're going to try and veer away a little bit from being like, oh, they eat mushrooms, you know, because we want to be creative, we want have fun, but we don't want to be like, oh, where does Sonic store his rings? Or, oh Pokemon, that's just magical cockfighting, you know. We don't want to be like that. We want to try and have a bit of fun. So that is how we're going to go into it. So, Martin, have you Packs your bags for this trip by the way I have, they're all sitting here I'm ready to board the Odyssey Implying that you have enough power moons to board the Odyssey Ow
00:05:43
Speaker
ah It's like the Titanic. We're like hanging off the Odyssey. Mario, we love you. It's like, did you hear something, Cappy? I hear nothing.
00:05:54
Speaker
but but Sorry, were you going to say something? was just going to say, let's grab onto the Odyssey and hope that whatever interdimensional travel it does, it takes us with us. And we will be right back, as always, after these messages. Welcome to Chatsunami, a variety podcasts that discusses topics from gaming and films to anime and general interests.
00:06:12
Speaker
Previously on Chatsunami, we've analysed what makes a good horror game, conducted a retrospective on Pierce Brosnan's runs James Bond, and listened to us take deep dives into both the Sonic and Halo franchises. Also, if you're an anime fan, then don't forget to check us out on our sub-series, Chatsunani, where we dive into the world of anime. So far, we've reviewed things like Death Note, Princess Mononoke, and the hit Beyblade series. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then you can check us out on Spotify, iTunes, and all good podcast apps.
00:06:40
Speaker
As always, stay safe, stay awesome, and most importantly, stay hydrated. They rule the streets.
00:06:53
Speaker
They take what they want. Hand it over street meat before we make you dead meat. And you'll have to deal with them if you want to make it through the night.
00:07:08
Speaker
If Ashley wants to survive, she'll need to fight on their turf.
00:07:17
Speaker
She'll have to fight dirty. Stop struggling. And she'll have to pick them off one by one if she hopes to make it through the night.
00:07:33
Speaker
Make it Through the Night, the savage novel of revenge and violence on the streets by Amy Cotto. Available now from Amazon.com. Find more by author Amy Cotto by visiting tvfanatic.blog or on Twitter at tv underscore fanatic underscore girl. Make it through the night by Amy Cotto. Her night from hell has only just begun.
Economics and Society in the Mushroom Kingdom
00:08:01
Speaker
That was a very long and surprisingly dangerous journey to the Mushroom Kingdom. Yeah, but we have indeed reached ah the world of Mario. The sun is shining, the fungus is trying to kill us.
00:08:13
Speaker
Let's talk about living conditions. See if you were to come to the Mushroom Kingdom, and let's say money is no object, let's say you decided you just to punch a brick for several hours. Ha! Because let's face it, the economy in this one broken. There's coins all over the place, man. This is madness. Do you think the currency devalues... I can't believe I'm starting off with this.
00:08:35
Speaker
Economics, do you think the value of the coin is just completely devalued? Because do you remember in Mario Odyssey, and can't believe I'm referencing this, but how whenever you go to another world, they've got their own currencies, whereas you can get the coins anywhere. So is the regular coin less valuable? I think it would have to be, wouldn't it? Yeah, if you're just finding them anywhere.
00:08:57
Speaker
Well, there's a limited supply of the countries of the world's own coins. I mean, true. Like, can you imagine if that was a job, though, where it's like, oh, we need to print off more money. And it's like they just get a toad to punch a brick and be like, okay, this is your job.
00:09:10
Speaker
You're the inflation toad. Go, go, go. Print more money. Print more money. but Make it ruin! Yeah, let's say we beat a brick, okay? We just punch a brick. Hopefully one without a face, because I don't think I could do that. Let's say we do it. We've got all our coins. Hopefully for the reasonable price of a two-bedroom flat in the Mushroom Kingdom.
00:09:32
Speaker
Here's a question for you. Where would you like to live in the Mario universe? Because let's face it, although I said, oh, we've arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom, would you want to live in the Mushroom Kingdom? Or is there another place you would like to go? I assume the Mushroom Kingdom is gonna have sky high property value. Oh yeah. There's not much in the way of housing there. It's like London, yeah.
00:09:51
Speaker
Yeah, well i was gonna say it's specifically just a castle. ah Like I don't know where the toads live, right? You're right! There's like five guard towers in Odyssey and that's about it. Do they sleep your So I don't want to find out where the toads sleep. So I'm going to suggest we have a quick jaunt and go to the Fina del Plaza, what's called? the Delfino Island, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Let's go there. There's the Mario Sunshine. Yeah, is that not just this world's equivalent of, and I can't believe I'm thinking the exact same thing, but is that not just the equivalent of Mario Venice? Yeah, but there's property there. There's more houses than there is in the Mushroom Kingdom. Yeah.
00:10:30
Speaker
Or of course we go to live in New Donk City, but I don't know what the price of rent is. That seems like an expensive place as well. I'm going to be honest, see after the first electric millipede attack, I think I would be well out of there. Insurance doesn't cover. Act of a giant electric millipede. I'm just thinking, and this is quite topical for when we are recording this, because recently we had Storm Eowyn come through, and where we were living in particular, we got the red weather the warning, where the government basically sent out a heart-stopping alarm to be like, stay in your homes, it's dangerous, and
Urban Planning and Safety Concerns
00:11:03
Speaker
rightfully so. Do you think New Dong City does the same thing? It's like, ah Bowser! Killing your hopes!
00:11:08
Speaker
No time! don't have an answer that. I can only assume so because the city does seem pretty empty when the centipede thing attacks, so... And tanks. Tanks. This is tanks driving about. Killer bugs. Yep, killer bugs.
00:11:20
Speaker
There's a lot going on. I think that might be the safest place to live, but I'm not in love with it. Yeah. That one's street, by the way. See if you come out the back entrance to the flats. there's bins there's moped there if you get on the moped you get chased by T-Rex like just you just have to look out for that stuff man it just happens in the city that honestly makes me feel so old being a house owner right and not wanting to miss Bindi because you know how oh yeah yeah oh it's gonna be like a couple of weeks until the council comes back who knows if Bowser attacks dude and the bins like if it's green Bindi and Bowser attacks and then it's like do the bins not get picked up for three more weeks or like are we doing here just like one
00:11:58
Speaker
but the other one got a bin bag and they're like I will be damned! I'm like Miss Bindi! You're just zooming across! T-Rex be T-Rex be damned, the flow's falling away randomly, there's huge gaps in the city flow, but you I don't want to wait another three weeks of Bindi man!
00:12:16
Speaker
all i'll be damned. but Where would you like to live, soon as we're here? What what what are you thinking? Honestly, Delfino Plaza seems to be the optimal choice here, even though, well okay, what will say is, other than the residents there, that kind of, they all walk around with the grass skirts and everything and hats, do you think they like tourists?
00:12:37
Speaker
You know, it's like when you go to Venice and you go to certain touristy places and again, there's no shade to them because obviously tourism can be a pro and a con, but do you think you kind of just look at people and go, oh God, not another tourist coming to stay here indefinitely. I mean, they would get quite boring after a while i have to say mean then again you've got shadow mario popping up being like oh haha i'm shadow mario and it's like the sonic the hedgehog and shadow the hedgehog situation where it's like oh look it's mario i recognize him from having no feature i don't know if i could deal with that happening to me as well shadow martin or shadow satsu can imagine like the impact that causes on your daily life
00:13:18
Speaker
I think what the worst thing would be is if it was Shadow Satsu and they started a really controversial podcast. but So it's like, you know, the droid Rogan only instead. It's like, Satsu hates Delphino Plaza. I'm just like, I'm sitting here with Kamek. He's got a lot of good points.
00:13:35
Speaker
You know, you don't want that heat on you, though. You genuinely don't want that heat on you. So, not literal heat. I mean, being Scottish, you know, we would both burn to a crisp. That's true as well. We do have to think about a minute 24-7 sunshine. Also, speaking of that, and again, it's very similar to the other games where world traversal would be a pain in the backside, because obviously you can go manually, like we saw in Odyssey and whatnot, and even in the film, they go from one place to the other, but, and the big but here, is that they can also travel through paintings and things. And one of the ways to get to another resort in the Delphino Plaza is by staring into the sun.
00:14:15
Speaker
Imagine telling your child, okay, little Billy, we're going to the market. Look into the sun. Let it take you. You know, you'd be called a psychopath by that. As well, I just want to look back to the thought of travelling everywhere by painting. It's like, there's no doorbell in these things. So if you've got a reason in your house, someone's coming in. can't pretend to not be in because they've just walked into your living room. Is there a walk pipe in your house? do you know what that reminds me of? you know that episode of The Simpsons where Homer becomes friends with Flanders? Yes. And he climbs through the windows.
00:14:45
Speaker
once. That exact thing. got it on. Just climbing the painting. Hey guys, what are we doing today? you Oh, that would be horrific. There's no sense of, and again, this is a thing that they have in all Nintendo games, that there's no sense of boundaries or personal space.
00:15:01
Speaker
You can jump in people and you'll just break into the houses and there's no legal system, which is weird because I think, and correct me if I'm wrong here, but I think Super Mario Sunshine Yeah, it starts with arrest.
00:15:12
Speaker
That's the closest we get to law enforcement in these games. I mean, the rest of them, it's, you know, you fighting Bowser
Societal Norms and Legal Systems
00:15:20
Speaker
and his minions. And even in, can't believe I'm saying this, but the very beginning of Super Mario Galaxy is like saving Private Ryan with mushrooms, where he comes down in his big floating ship with the cannons.
00:15:32
Speaker
And Toad's like, protect the princess! Like, oh my god, this is a Hells game. So I think they have houses there, but again, all very much on the outskirts. I don't think I would like to live in the Mushroom Kingdom purely because I don't want to live in a place that is DEFCON 1 all the time.
00:15:52
Speaker
Can you imagine that being like, oh, don't worry, I'm built differently. When I go to the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser's not going blow it up. And then, you know... it gets on board up How tall is everything in the Mushroom Kingdom? I've always kind of assumed that Mario is 4 foot. Am I way off? Is this kind of what you think as well? So I put Princess Peach at like 5 foot 5, Mario's like 4 foot, or do we just have no concept of this and Mario's actually 20 foot tall? Where are we going with this, you know what I mean? i mean, i think if we're looking at realistic proportions, I think that we would probably be maybe slightly taller than Peach, but nobody brings up.
00:16:26
Speaker
so It's more if it's like a King and i situation. yeah but What do you mean by that? that movie, she's not allowed to have her head higher than his, so she has to encourage her to to the room. So I was wondering if we go to Bushwick, are we just going to like, you're not allowed to be in the same room as Peach. So it's like you put your shoes on your knees and just walk.
00:16:43
Speaker
I think no one would bring it up because, I mean, look at New Donk City where Mario goes in Odyssey and it's like nobody brings the fact up that he's just this stocky, built like a Duplo figure in comparison and everybody's just like, don't mention it, don't mention it, don't mention And again, it's so weird because you've got so many things that obviously we would take from our own world. Like, as I brought up to you when we were talking about Odyssey, the fact that they've got laptops and computers. And do you know what most depressing thing about this world is? It's canon that there's nine to five jobs.
00:17:18
Speaker
There is literally a city of salarymen and women. That is quite possibly one of the scariest places, I think I would say. It's just because rent's so high, though. What, so they're constantly working?
00:17:31
Speaker
What i love is, even in Odyssey, when you take part in the festival with Mayor Pauline and everything, and she changes out of her best to suit into this elegant red dress and everything that sparkles, she's got the big heart...
00:17:44
Speaker
everyone else is still in their great businesses and it's like wow the one percent's living at one there's literally a hundred people in you dog cities i just wonder though what's like the working from home policy am i allowed to work in a different kingdoms and it like what's the commute like they kind of don't explain this in order to say but how long does a walk pipe take i assume it's instantaneous yeah is it though what's my commute to work like do i have to go to the walk pipe every day you know there's a lot of logistics i'm not quite sure on because what What wondering is, and I know they briefly addressed it in the film, but I'm wondering if it's like, you know, the transporter situation in Star Trek, where it's like you go in and it breaks your atoms down, and then it reassembles you on the other end? I hope not!
00:18:26
Speaker
I'm gonna be honest! Yeah, that was more like a Futurama, straight down the pipe kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, it was just but boom, boom, boom. The thing is as well, and this is gonna sound so weird to say, but you would struggle to get a plumber in this universe.
00:18:38
Speaker
ah See if you clog the toilet by the way, are screwed because the only plumbers that you know of in the kingdom, they're away saving the princess. So who you gonna call? To be fair, the only thing people eat in Mario is giant apples that Yoshi eats. Is there any other food? Well there different fruits, especially Mario Sunshine. Sure, sure. Yeah, but... I'm actually trying to think. I don't eat anything that isn't fruit and veg. Yeah. But you're going to struggle fill out all your stuff you need. I know, I mean... It's just getting boring after a while. Because then you'd be looking at the mushrooms going...
Creature Sentience and Food Supply
00:19:11
Speaker
Do you think Goombas are meat or mushroom? What a loaded question. I would... Oh, that's a good... Well, what about toads? I mean, are they meat or mushroom? That is the question here. The questions we are asking each other in this episode. You know, I don't eat anything of meat, so I'm not going to be eating anything that face.
00:19:31
Speaker
I think as a rule that's to be honest. I don't think anyone's clambering to eat a Koopa. Well I don't know, welcome to Earth man. So this is what things are like, at what point do you... Where do you draw the line? Yeah, where's the line? There's two types of fish in the Mario games right? This is so weird that don't why, this is a weird cut here but... There's two types of fish in Mario, typically. You get Cheep Cheeps that are these weird wacky only exist in Mario. But then every sort of sea place in Mario also has normal fish from the real world in it. Are they different? Would eat one not the other?
00:20:00
Speaker
Again, it's going to the Pokemon and Sonic logic, like Sonic especially, where they live in a world where everything's anthropomorphized, but then every so often they'll come across an animal that isn't evolved, like a giant alligator, or as you say, just normal fish, normal birds, that kind of thing, and you think, what's the difference here? Kind of thing. And I suppose it's the same here where it's like, do they have sentience? Because, I mean, if you can take it over in Odyssey all toss same things, then maybe?
00:20:28
Speaker
Can we also talk about the fact that interstellar travel exists? LAUGHTER No, interstellar multiversal instantaneous travel exists. NASA, who dat? Bowser NASA is prevalent, clearly, and it's not until Galaxy where he, and again, haven't really played much of Galaxy, but I know he gets a hand from Rosalina and her lumens and everything, oh, they saved the day, but yeah, space travel exists. You know, there's all the different planets and all the wacky gimmicks and whatnot. That's a given, but it's also quite a scary given, to be honest.
00:21:00
Speaker
Ha ha! Because you're like, well, where the hell's Bowser going? but But what i will say is recreational activities would be phenomenal. But it would also be terrifying because I think it would probably be insert any dictator here turning up for a game of Crazy a Golf. You just want to have a game of Crazy Golf and then, of course, Bowser appears or infamous criminals like Wario, Waluigi turns up to Wimbledon.
00:21:27
Speaker
You ah You mentioned the 1%, but I feel like if you know Princess Peach and you're in her friend group, you get a lot of opportunities that, you know, the average Udonk City 9-5-er
Power-Ups and Dangers
00:21:38
Speaker
doesn't get.
00:21:38
Speaker
I've never seen a Udonk City 9-5-er win the soccer championship for Mario. I've never seen him win the go-karting Grand Prix, which seems to drive down every city, every street, every... Every other day. i also feel quite uncomfortable with the excessive use of force that Mario has available to him in terms of power-ups. So like the blue shell and I know they kind of referred this in the movie but the blue shell creates a gigantic explosion. People can turn into bullet bills. Virtually every place that you go to has these monsters that are trying to actively attack you. It's a difficult thing to get and into these sports I think. I mean there's literally monster that is just a bomb.
00:22:15
Speaker
There's a respect on King Bob-omb's name though. I mean, King Bob-omb, yeah. Shout out to my boy there. Can you imagine us hill walking? I'm like, oh, Martin, you know, I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about my weight, blah, blah, blah. You're like, you know what? Let's go on the hill walk. We'll get your exercise up, blah, blah, blah. We make it up to the top of this hill, Super Mario 64 style. oh yeah And then King Bob-omb's...
00:22:39
Speaker
ah You would run so fast. Oh yeah, yeah, you'd be done for. I'm sorry mate, I'm leaving you behind. It's like a nice and men moment. Tell me about King Bobo Martin. You just push me in. It's like, oh. I'm hitting the triple jump getting out of there, man. Oh no, that would be horrific. Crouching into little roll and just rolling down.
00:22:58
Speaker
I'm just thinking of you doing that real life. Bye. Bye, Zetsu. Yeah, hell walking's out, because you don't know. mean, as well, you could end up in a haunted mansion and get stuck in a painting. That's not ideal. Although, to be fair, do you think the Hoover market in Mario is thriving? Because you know how, I know it's modified whatnot, but do you think because people have heard that story about Luigi being in the haunted mansion and whatnot and being able to fight off ghosts with a vacuum cleaner. Do you think somebody in the Mushroom Kingdom spun that and been like, oh yeah, get your vacuum cleaners here, they suck up booze and everything? I wonder though, how many stories are you hearing every week about the adventures that Mario and Luigi are on?
00:23:40
Speaker
It's probably like, oh right here's another thing that these guys have been up to. Oh here's another time that they saved the world. These two guys are doing it all the time man, they need some time off. They're just constantly just bang bang bang bang. Like he said you said, one week they're saving stuff for Hoovers. There's a massive kidnapping percentage in this Barrel universe. Bang bang bang constantly. oh we saved this world, we've done this, we've done this.
00:23:57
Speaker
It's yeah I think you're right. I think there would be a week where like, I'm really gonna buy a Hoover. But the next week I really want to buy a jetpack. Nozzle. In the next week, I really want to buy a hat that takes over people's brains. It's just like a constant update. It's like when they sell you a new phone, it's that. but What have us said by Mario and his brother been up to this week?
00:24:14
Speaker
Yeah, that is horrifying. See the idea that Capi's can just... Yeah, knew were going to bring it up to this eventually. Yeah, like, I have to bring it up here. That actually terrifies me. It's like an irrational fear of a hat taking over. Well, not the hat in general, but you know what mean by that. Just the fact that, yeah, you could lose all autonomy just because you wore the wrong hat. And again, why didn't Bowser think of that? Is Bowser dumb? What? Yes. Yeah, clearly. Because there's a lot of horrific things in this world.
00:24:42
Speaker
Because again, that's something we brought up in the Odyssey episodes and you think, oh, it's just, you know, oh, it's Goombas and Koopas and all of that. No, there's dragons in this universe. ah dragons there's black holes there's aristocratic squids that shoot fire at you or water at a beach resort no less yeah but a beach resort there's that horrible squid thing do you remember that in sunshine oh yeah i couldn't get by that for the longest time it's a pain in the backside because it like splits up so that's the thing it's like you up i don't want to say kill but you destroy one bit of it but then the rest of can just What's off? Oh, it was horrible. So, you know, you've got that as well. You've got deadly theme parks and whatnot. You've got vultures as well that steal your hat, which, I mean, for us is more of an inconvenience, but I just don't like the fact that vultures, like, swoop down and steal your headwear. Get a job, you vultures!
00:25:35
Speaker
But yeah, you've got all these realistic threats. I mean, the fact that dragons exist in this world, you could be having like a cup of tea and you're chatting away and then boom, dragon. You better hold Mario's around because no one else is going deal with it either. Here's a question for you though. It's something that Wisteria Moth and I were talking about when we did the Living in the Sonic world, where we described Sonic as the Mothman of that world.
00:25:58
Speaker
where if you see him, he's either going to be, oh, my hero, my saviour, or, oh, sweet Jesus, we're about to get attacked. You know, do you think that Mario holds the same weight? That you're sitting there enjoying your Yoshi cocktail or whatever, and then two seconds later, bam.
00:26:16
Speaker
I assume he's got that Batman thing. well Yeah. If you, I don't know, maybe you shortchange someone in the shop or you cross the street without looking and all sudden Mario appears next to you're done for. You are a target enemy by him. I think he's got that Batman-esque thing.
00:26:30
Speaker
It's a me, Mario. Mario! But like, he's also got that thing where he solves trouble, but he does also bring it with him. The only reason that you Donk City got attacked by Bowser was because Mario prevented him from doing other stuff, you know what mean? there's all this stuff that Mario causes a lot of the issues that he solves. I feel like whenever he turns up in your neighbourhood, like, are man, just keep passing through, brother. I don't need you to be attacked now by Bowser or by some intergalactic space fiend. Like, you just please don't stay here. Because I mean...
00:26:57
Speaker
House insurance would be an absolute nightmare in this universe.
Complexities of Insurance and Class Divide
00:27:01
Speaker
Do you think Axe a Koopa would have to be drafted into law to be like, yeah, i got a green shell through my house. Oh, sorry, sir. It's only the red shells that you're covered for. Green shells, you know, it could happen to anyone. You can imagine the insurance price of your house, like the closer you get to the Mario Kart circuits, just going up and up and up and up. Which is, oh no. Because I think the closer you get to the Mushroom Kingdom and its non-existent houses, a literal housing shortage. But yeah, the closer you get to the kingdom, I think it would just be unlovable.
00:27:32
Speaker
Because again, you know, Bowser's only goal was, unless we're talking about the RPG games, but in terms of the mainline games, Peach is object of desire. He wants the kidnapper and everything, which would be an utter nightmare if you were just a bystander. Again, you go there and you're like, oh, want to make friends with a toad. And then all of a sudden you're getting bombarded by bullet bills.
00:27:53
Speaker
You're like, dude, what's your problem? I mean, it's like, you know that Rick and Morty joke where it's like, what is my purpose? Yeah, it's like to the bullet bills. You're going to be shot out of a cannon and you're gonna explode on a wall that's indestructible. Oh my God.
00:28:06
Speaker
They have a very short lifespan. I don't like the idea that everything has a face. Because where do you stop with that? The clouds have a face. Oh, yeah, that's scary thought. Like blocks have a face. That's going to sound like the weirdest reference ever that I'm probably going to make in an episode. But you know the telltale heart? Where it's like, imagine you're building in a house in the Mushroom Kingdom, but you run out of bricks. So you end up using one of the yellow bricks.
00:28:31
Speaker
And it's just this face staring at you the whole time. You can even hang a painting over it. Oh, for the best. Yeah but what something pops out of? ah One thing i do want to know is Lakitu.
00:28:42
Speaker
Oh yeah. What's his game? Is he part of your insurance package? If I'm looking over the edge of the nice garden in the Mushroom Kingdom and have to slip over the edge and fall forever, would do he eventually grab me? Or am I just going to keep falling?
00:28:53
Speaker
Do I have this is insurance policy? These are the details you need to iron out fast. you know and Also Lakitu flies with a giant camera, which is another thing to be worried about. Yeah that's a GDPR nightmare to begin with. You think drones are bad?
00:29:06
Speaker
How about a flying cameraman? Phil sentience. He knows what he's doing. The drone is controlled. It's like getting into Bioshock territory. A drone obeys a lot. Anyway. Oh, your side tangent aside. Yeah, that was the one. Yeah. I think only in certain areas You know There'll be like Coverage zones I mean he only appears In Mario Kart Does he not Or is he in 64 Oh well he is in 64 Yeah he's other games For the cameraman Yeah he's in other games He fishes And he's having his time off In Odyssey But yeah I just wonder Like what coverage is like Or is it just the races He works for Hmm Maybe it just works for them. don't know. I'm just curious because I'm invested in this idea of... So what Mushroom Kingdom kind of needs, I think, is what realising now in all the kingdoms. It's just like some railings just round the outside them. Because I really don't like the idea of there not being any railings in Mario. There's a lot of long distance drops in Mario. should be more railings. Not to put on my high-vis jacket and get a clipboard out. But it does feel like there's a lot of health and safety issues being ignored. I get it's a dangerous world to live in, but you're making it harder...
00:30:03
Speaker
You're not making it any easier here, lads. Come on. Like those guys, the musicians in New Donk City are standing on the end of skyscrapers. That's not great. I mean, you're no wrong. Thank you. I mean, it's like even at the top of the skyscraper when they're all partying, going, woohoo, go Mayor Pauline, and they're hanging off the edge.
00:30:19
Speaker
I feel like there's a social commentary in there somewhere. The health and safety, and again, I'm not talking about Bowser's hellscape. Yeah, that's an act of Bowser, you can't prevent those things. Yeah, and again, the insurance people would go absolutely haywire. But here's the thing as well, do you think in Inturance is different for, let's say you're out for a pint of milk or something, and then you get mugged by, I don't know, a Koopa or a couple of Goombas, right? And, you know, the sky camera is just filming the whole thing, just silently, Nightcrawler style, just filming the whole thing. And you're all getting the you-know-what beat out of you and everything. How different would it be if the same thing happened, but you were on a Mario Kart course? LAUGHTER
00:30:59
Speaker
or on the golf course. You know, is there different rules to that? There's definitely a bit of that. You know when you see the dystopian movies and there's always violent sports? I feel there's a bit of that. I feel like the normal world probably does have rules, laws and stuff, but then Mario Kart, it's just a law unto itself. You are allowed to blow people up and push them off of buildings and stuff. That's just part of the game by that point. you think conspiracy theories would be rampant in this world? And what mean by this, right, bear with me here, what mean by this is you see Mario on a constant basis, and I know logically in the games these are spin-off games, that's why they don't count, blah blah blah, but... If we're taking this for a fact, can you imagine you're sitting there having your morning cup of coffee, reading the newspaper. Mario has thwarted Bowser for the umpteenth time. On the moon, for some reason. Don't know why. Hell yeah. And then, all of a sudden, you see in the next page that he's away to golf with him. And it's like, you know, eyebrows would be raised.
00:31:54
Speaker
I mean... I do think there's a class warring coming. LAUGHTER There's definitely the 1% versus the rest of them. You know, I'm like... Toad Marks? Yeah. There's definitely like a... Oh, sorry. I should i say cuppa marks and a bit soic content if if you have If you're part of the in crowd, you can't do anything wrong. You know, Bowser never ends up in any trouble.
00:32:15
Speaker
He's out playing golf the next week. He's out taking over the world again for the umpteenth time. I think there would eventually be an uprising. I thought when you said conspiracy theory, you're going be like, the earth isn't round, it's made up of 50 different worlds and... The only way to travel between them is by a giant hat. Please, Martin, this is a very serious topic. It is, it is. Because the thing is, it's not a conspiracy. Bowser and the various bad guys do just get off with this stuff. It's got free and they do get to continue. I mean, Yoshi doesn't pay his taxes either. true That's a whole thing. It's like reading the news being like, I can't keep getting away from it. Yeah, like last time they came to town, he put out this giant melipede, it blew up car, and I had to pay the insurance, my tanks had got destroyed, Mario was jumping all over it, I lost my Power Moon that I'd had secret in my back garden, but it was all for nothing, because he's out the next day, Mario gets unpunished, despite all the havoc, he was jumping all over people. There is definitely a rules for me and not for thee. 110% for Because the thing is, it's a world without justice, isn't know? Because don't get me wrong, you get Mario. Mario, you know, defeats the villain, blah, blah, blah. But it's just as a full circle, isn't it?
00:33:20
Speaker
Yeah, no one's getting re-educated either. He's just coming back just as angry next time. Yeah, exactly. You go from Super Mario Sunshine where he tries to blow up a resort Isle Delfino and then he goes from that to blowing up the Mushroom Kingdom and taking his waifu to space. And can we just talk about the fact that and we were talking about this the other day, but the fact that Bowser is just a massive leap.
00:33:44
Speaker
That doesn't respect boundaries. I find it very, very concerning about this. And it wasn't until I replayed Odyssey where he's got a massive castle that is obviously based on samurai and things. And I know why that is, but it's quite concerning. I'm not going to lie. A massive leap that doesn't respect social norms.
00:34:03
Speaker
What is going on there? Again, and he's like a king of the Coopers. It's just a dangerous, dangerous thing for everyone, really. He's got a good thing going for him. That's the thing. And he's thrown it all away just to be the creeper. and The Mushroom Giddle There's a lot of unelected officials In general actually here So we've got King Bobom King Boo King Bowser Princess Peach Sorry can I just say The turnover rate for King Bobom Must be It's so fast! They must have a coronation every other week. But really, the only person I can think of actually elected is Magot Pauline. Is it everyone else?
00:34:34
Speaker
Monarchy? I feel like this is one of these podcast episodes where it's like, elect Mayor Pauline for President of the Mushroom Kingdom. I just, I don't know, i just I'm just thinking, and there's not any queens that I can think of. Yeah. So you're either a king or a princess.
00:34:48
Speaker
This is like a very Disney thing though, isn't it? Where this is something that, I can't remember who it was, but someone else brought this up in the other review and it was really fascinating that when you think of a queen, you think of someone that's older, distinguished, whereas princesses are usually the pretty ones, they're younger, all of this. And I think that's what's going on but clearly she doesn't have a dad in this game or rather this world so in fact she doesn't have a mom or a dad as far as I know or as far as we know so by all means she should be a queen I know the logistically why behind the scenes but we're living under a monarchy who refuses to step up
00:35:25
Speaker
Yes, I bet. There's only one, i only know of one elected official. I mean, other than the minor mayors that you get in other worlds. That's true, yeah. to that They do have quite, because there's a mayor in Delfina Plaza and stuff. There's a couple, actually. I'll take that back. There's a few people. it's just a weird system of government. That's all I'm saying. Would you be happier living in this world? or two I don't think so. Mainly because, well here's the line, either we turn up in the mushroom kingdom and we immediately have to go somewhere else and that's it and I am unhappy or we turn up in the mushroom kingdom and it just so happens one of the 1% has woken by and we tag along and get to play golf with them. If we're on that side of the coin
00:35:58
Speaker
but If we're the exploiters, not the exploited. Are you thinking of Mean Girls? Pretty much, yeah. Of when it says we were dungarees.
00:36:09
Speaker
I mean, I see where you're coming from. Again, it's like that very clicky thing of, oh, don't worry about the Goombas and the Koopas and whatnot, or the Toads, yeah, just hang out with us.
00:36:22
Speaker
Yeah, that would be a rip-roaring time. But then again, as you said, you'd be throwing Mayor Pauline in her. social ideals under the bus. Mia Pauline is definitely part of 1% as well. She's only won a new dog set that has a change of clothes. You know what I mean? like She's just as corrupt as the rest of them. I mean, I do love the fact that all the salary men and women are just like, goodness, why didn't I think of that?
00:36:43
Speaker
A change of clothes? I've only got 50 identical suits. But that's the thing, though. It's like they all dress the same. Very uniform, very thingy. It as It's quite concerning, actually. It's nowhere to live. Can you imagine you had to get somewhere? Again, you know, maybe this is D&D logic, but if you had to go somewhere through a portal, I'm just realising that a lot of them are locked in the castle.
Travel Restrictions and Identity Theft
00:37:06
Speaker
Yeah. So the monarchy literally controlled the means of travelling around and things? You have to collect so many stars before you can use a lot of them as well. except How are you going to collect stars though? As we established, getting coins is no problem. You just punch the hell out couple of bricks. My standing jump isn't that great. You know, compared to Mario can jump multiple times his own height to get these stars. ag I'm going to be taking a long time to get a lot of stuff.
00:37:29
Speaker
I mean, what would you do genuinely if you're walking along, you know, you just want your groceries or whatever, you've had a really bad day, and then three-foot plumber jumps on your head? What would you do in that situation, Martin? I don't think there's much you can do. I think it's take what you want, Mario, you absolute lunatic. Leave me alone. Yeah, it's an unjust world. I think you summed it up. I think if Mario's mugging you, who's going to stop him? I mean, it's a bit like this is quite a scary thing as well. Going back to the Cappy thing, because I'm thinking of when you're in New Donk City, right?
00:37:58
Speaker
And there's a guy who's controlling a RC car and you have to control it and get it to the finish line and whatnot. Can you imagine you're minding your own business and then someone throws a hat on you and then you're no longer yourself, right? That's horrific enough. But when you throw your hat onto Bowser, you can see that he travels through of his memories. So you tell me that every time he puts Cappy on someone, he's traveling into their memories. What a way to get someone's pin.
00:38:27
Speaker
When you're standing behind someone and they're here, put the hat on them, take all the money out. Identity theft, man. Oh, identity theft would be rife in this. I mean, then again, don't think if we came out in dungarees and colourful clothes, they would say, oh, look, it's Mario and Luigi. And we're like, hey, what's up? I'm Mario and Luigi.
00:38:47
Speaker
I don't think that would work somehow, but then again, there's barely any police presence. i mean, Bowser takes over the place constantly, so there's not really a standing army either. Ironically enough, the most poli- as far as I know and anyway, i could be wrong on this, but the most policed place in Mario as a whole is probably Isle Delfino.
00:39:07
Speaker
Yep. That's so weird. Like, I mean, they technically have the Toad army, but what are going to do? You know, like, genuinely, they got absolutely sucker punched by Bowser and his cronies, so, yeah, and only an Italian plumber can stop him. So, like, speaking of identity theft, what would you do if you turned round and all of a sudden you've got Wah Martin? Or...
00:39:26
Speaker
I've got wah tsunami, you know. Again, was just being annoying because they're just out there to mess with you. My number one hater. Yeah, they're not even there to, you know. They're not living their own lives, they're just living, trying to like annoy you. Yeah, they're not there to, as you said, to live their own lives and everything. They're there to purposely mess your days up. So it's like you're out wrestling and then then all of a sudden all you hear is wah boo.
00:39:51
Speaker
call that a suplex one you know you would be annoyed very fast and again they're the kind of people that would make mouth noises on the microphone ah or eat during a recording genuinely somehow get the urls to every one of your sessions yeah into your chat rooms and tap up into your discord everyone's just like hello it's like oh no don't start talking everyone for every single one of your episodes he's just been like oh like that's a a ridiculous like Again, the other thing, and this might sound quite morbid, is there'd be a lot of penguins on edge. And you know where I'm going with this on Mario 64? On edge was definitely a good time for that. Yeah, thank you.
00:40:30
Speaker
ah Yeah, with the amount of people who threw that penguin, and I'm calling you out, listeners, you know who you are. Fuck. The amount of people who would throw the penguins off a cliff and don't get me wrong, they respawn or there's magic or something that will bring them back.
00:40:45
Speaker
But you would constantly be on edge, you know, Mario just glaring in the corner like, or you know what would be the worst thing though? See if you had to get to work, but you know, your usual road was closed and then the only way to get there was a very precarious jump.
00:40:59
Speaker
But you had to go there by Yoshi. Would you take that trip? I don't even think we've got time to dig into the whole situation with Yoshis in general. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've got to get to work, man. It's as simple as that. We've got to make money to live in Udonk City and to maybe afford a new outfit. So, yep, we have to take that jump. It's the corporate life. I've got bills to pay.
00:41:18
Speaker
Actually, no, you bring up an amazing point there,
Social Commentary and Conclusion
00:41:21
Speaker
sorry. When you said that New Donk City and co, they don't have a change of clothes, they have that cappy store. So Mario can get- It's only in Mario sizes. Yeah, but Mario can get down the naked. Yeah, because all clothes are only made for Mario-shaped people.
00:41:34
Speaker
Can I just point something out as well? And this is something I've been thinking about for the longest time. Bowser must have one hell of a tailor, right? Okay, because, you know, he has his wedding suit, he has the hat, that's all fair and good. But then you look at Princess Peach, and this is for the film, for the games and things, where you know when she gets kidnapped and she's got the dress and everything, and she's got this beautiful, elegant wedding dress and things on. Who designed her? Because clearly she didn't pack it herself.
00:42:03
Speaker
In the background, like... He must do. There's just, like, multi-talented keepers. Or do you think there's a new donk citizen there defecting being like, you know what, I can't take another day in this 9 to 5 hello. I just, I've got to get out of here. I need to live on Bowser's airship for a bit. It's called a gap year, Martin.
00:42:20
Speaker
I'm taking my gap year to the Sand Kingdom. Oh, how insufferable would that be? You get that one guy who said, oh, so I took my gap year in the Mushroom Kingdom. You wouldn't know it. I slept outside because there was no houses.
00:42:33
Speaker
i mean, I'm so glad that I don't live in this small town of Sand Kingdom. It's too sandy for me. don't know why I'm Uni Astro. I'm feeling awfully called out right now. I'm not going to lie.
00:42:45
Speaker
No, you know what I mean though, it's like the most insufferable one. I mean, you just wouldn't get it, Bowser's ship is just so much better.
00:42:55
Speaker
place. And you'd be like, yeah, but what about the fact he's causing horrific war crimes? He's got intergalactic conflicts going on here. And then he plays golf at the weekends. He just don't understand, you know, he's got a vision.
00:43:09
Speaker
He wants to marry the other monarch, what are you on about? This is like medieval policy, Megan. Hashtag mayor polling for golfers. Yep, my goat. I just want to point out that this is the closest chat tsunami will ever be for a political episode.
00:43:25
Speaker
It's an interesting world. You kind of asked the question to me, so I guess I'll find it back to kind of start wrapping up. Would you live here then? Honestly, it's not the worst world. No, that's true. On the scale of other ones we've done.
00:43:36
Speaker
I mean, I've been in the Dragon Ball universe. I'd die in that. Wedges of Zelda, dead. Sonic, maybe dead if I keep getting attracted to all the natural disasters of that world. old Mario, I think...
00:43:48
Speaker
I've got a better chance. Because to be honest, death, and this is going sound so morbid in the episode, but death isn't really as big of a thing in Mario. You know, they all recover and they a mushroom and oh, they're one up and things. So to summarise, I think this is one of the best one we've had so far. It's the best one, but have issues.
00:44:07
Speaker
I have severe issues, but. It's the best one, but we're starting the revolution from inside the house. We're starting this up. And if you would like to join us, join us at Chats and Navidor. Les Mariables? Les Mariables, yeah.
00:44:23
Speaker
Do you hear the Mushroom sing? Yes. Do you hear Mushroom sing? Singing the song of Jump Up Superstar? And on that note, Martin, thank you so much for yeah joining me in this episode. So before we wrap up, where can these lovely listeners at home find your content? if you want to find my content, watch me navigate the wacky world of wrestling and being a jump-up superstar, you can find me all across Instagram, TikTok and Facebook over at Martin McAllister. If you would like to check out more episodes from our ourselves, as well as our past episodes on Mario Month, you can indeed check us out on their website, chatsanami.com, as well as all good podcast apps. I also want to thank our amazing Pandalorian patrons, RoboticBattleToaster, Sonya, Ghosty, and Cryptic1991. Thank you so, so much for supporting the show. But if you would like... access to exclusive episodes, behind the scenes content, loopers, as well as our further thoughts on living in the Mushroom Kingdom, then you can indeed check us out on our Patreon page, patreon.com forward slash chat tsunami. I also want to point out that this podcast is a member of the Popat Collective. For more information, check us out on Twitter slash X at Popat Collect.
00:45:31
Speaker
But until next time, stay safe, stay awesome, and most importantly, stay hydrated.