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Ep. 172 – If God Gives You Lemons, FIND A NEW GOD w/ Zach Merrill of Action Tees
393 Plays8 months ago
Our guest this week is screen printer and designer Zach Merrill of Action Tees! Zach is an old friend of Sam’s that grew up in church like many of us. After getting married young and struggling to find his footing in all aspects of his life, Zach charted his own course away from the stifling expectations of his upbringing and conservative outlook. Stepping back from the edge with a new lease on life, he was free to take creative risks and try new things. Through his company, Action Tees, Zach makes some really unique apparel thanks to his unconventional screen printing methods and eye for design. His work has drawn the attention of some really cool artists like CZARFACE, and we can’t wait to see where he goes from here! Follow Zach on Instagram (@zachmerrill_), TikTok (@zmerrill), and go to www.shopzachmerrill.com to preorder upcoming apparel drops and info on commissions!
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Transcript
Personal Crisis and Faith Questioning
00:00:00
Speaker
I was just like laying on the floor of the apartment that I used to share with my ex-wife just like super like broken and I was listening to
00:00:15
Speaker
darkest hour who was like one of those like forbidden bands hell yeah, it's like a christian because a lot of their lyrics like challenge like faith and stuff and like with one of the song lyrics was like, you know Uh, and one of these days will no longer betray ourselves in any way Such a great song. Yeah, dude. It's so good. And i'm gonna listen to that as soon as we're done here, dude And in that moment, I was just kind of like
00:00:40
Speaker
Okay, if God or Jesus or whoever the fuck is not gonna help me, because if I stay on this path, I will not be here anymore. I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, then I'm gonna fucking do it myself. You know, cause it's like if, you know, the thought in my head was like, God, if this is your plan for my life, then I am fucking rejecting this plan.
Introductions and Health Updates
00:01:24
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Casey. And I'm Sam.
00:01:30
Speaker
Sam sick. I'm a wee bit under the weather. Last dude, every time I get sick, I have like, I usually head off getting sick pretty good. Like if I feel it coming on, I just like excessively drink water, try to like, and then, which whatever, I don't know how much that really helps, but that's what you hear, right? And then I try to get like a ton of sleep the night before. So I'll like,
00:01:56
Speaker
Usually if I feel like I'm getting sick I'll try to go to bed at like 730 and get a full night's and then that way like but if I get up for work the next day I'm like alright I can rally enough but today I couldn't finally got me I got got by being sick which I'm surprised it'll get sick more I work well I mean I work with snot nose children that literally have boogers dripping out of their face while you're talking to them constant well yeah I mean and
00:02:22
Speaker
I don't know if I'd blame the kids when you literally like pay strangers to blow into the breathalyzer to start your car for you. Yeah, you know, you got me on that one. I get all that white, white mouth residue transferred to mine, you know.
00:02:40
Speaker
I think it's the technical term. Is that like a sausage gravy? I've never seen that. I'm going to guess you pull a lever and it just like pours out.
00:03:04
Speaker
Is it a lever? Oh man, what is the delivery mechanism? I feel like gravy coming from a lever pole. I think it has a big sticky button, but a lever would be much more satisfying. That's like when your grandma complains about slot machines. He's like, you're not any fun anymore. You don't even pull the lever. Yeah, you push the button. Yeah, I know. The mechanisms have changed completely. It's, gee, grandpa, you should stop putting money in this.
00:03:34
Speaker
slot machines, something I've never, I've never gambled a day in my life. I do plan on that when I go to Vegas, um, in October, give it a shot, see how much I hate myself afterwards. It'll probably come up a lot of self hatred. You'll be amazed at how fast it goes away. Yeah. I'm starting like a fund for it where I'll just put it like a certain amount of money every month, whatever that I'll be like comfortable blowing and
00:04:01
Speaker
The thing about me though is I'm not comfortable blowing any amount of money. The worse of a gambler you are, the more comfortable blowing you have to be. I was wondering if we were going to connect that. It's a little tip of the hat for those of you just listening.
Critique of Christian Media
00:04:21
Speaker
Okay, I I found this article I Checked this website every once in a while just because they're it's a horse shit website. It's really warm front. Yeah It's
00:04:36
Speaker
it's called christianheadlines.com so you know immediately that it's that's what you're getting and it's it's just like the most pandery sort of shit um so this is this is a uh this is something your grandma would look at not something that like
00:04:56
Speaker
We would look at, this isn't a Christian nightmares sort of thing. It's no, it's the kind of website that will send notifications to your phone and like, but it's like an extra large text because they know their audience so well.
00:05:11
Speaker
the jitterbug font yeah I don't know if this is what's also funny about Christians in any sort of like publications that they they do is
00:05:27
Speaker
If they find someone that says the thing they want, regardless of how irrelevant and unknown they are, they act like it's a real a real like win with like the celebrity grab. Yeah. And I don't know if you've ever heard of Shane Lynch from a band called Boyzone, but they have not Irish boy band.
00:05:47
Speaker
that has apparently been active since 1993. They broke up in 2000 and it looks like they got back together from 2007 to 2019. So they're old right now. I mean, if you're a boy band that was started in 1993, it was probably cute.
00:06:09
Speaker
before you had the breathalyzer on your car. Yeah. It's I was trying to see if I could find like the main guys, like how old he is, but either Shane Lynch, here he is. Let's see how old he is now. He's forty seven. Too old to be in a boy band. Yeah, obviously. Like that's just creepy and weird now. A boy band called what? Boyzone? Boyzone B O Y Z O N E. That sounds like a
00:06:37
Speaker
website you have to get to with uh the onion browser or whatever yeah it says before even recording any material boyzone made an appearance on rte's the late late show they uh i don't know i guess um you know they're more well known the uk boyzone have had six uk number one singles and nine number one singles in ireland so it was back when jimmy seville was still picking them though
00:07:05
Speaker
jimmy savel i don't know jimmy savel is so uh you have the references you got the name your brain is just full of a list of names that nobody else does so when you you bring them up it's like it requires you to do some explaining he was a real cool guy that liked music and boys uh children yeah well sounds like a conspiracy uh
Celebrity Criticism: Taylor Swift and Satanic Rituals
00:07:30
Speaker
Shane Lynch though, he had some things to say recently about Taylor Swift, in her engagement in satanic rituals during her live shows. And I'm excited because there's a theme, we've talked about the criticism that these nerds have towards artists who quote unquote engage in satanic rituals, but
00:07:58
Speaker
I feel like whenever we talk about it, this is what will come up. So he says, I think when you're looking at a lot of the artists out there, a lot of their stage shows are satanic rituals live in front of 20,000 people without them realizing and recognizing.
00:08:15
Speaker
And that's it. Like they act like there's this ploy, right? That they're using it to somehow like influence the masses. But 20,000 people don't realize or recognize it for what it is. Like this one little in this one guy and several others are the ones who get it. But it's like, I mean, I'm sure his assumption is that they
00:08:38
Speaker
That's the danger, right? If you don't realize it or recognize it, it's subliminally influencing you. But we've been hearing this for 50 years, you know? This is like a favorite, especially among like failed celebrities. Yeah, yeah.
00:08:57
Speaker
It's like the, you know, I did the stunts and gone in 60 seconds 30 years ago and haven't had a job since. And it's because the industry satanic. Yes. And I don't know what the industry in Ireland looked like for Shane Lynch and his boys or why he is coming. I don't know if I feel like if if Boyzone stopped in 2000, what did I say? Nineteen.
00:09:22
Speaker
Um, yeah, 2019. I want to, I probably should have looked up, uh, whether or not this guy's trying to launch a solo career and that this is his like way of trying to like piggyback off of Taylor Swift's name to get some relevance. He's making Christian influencer videos now with like that, uh, Blade Runner music in the background. They all have that dude. I follow like several, uh, conspiracy theory Christian dudes.
00:09:51
Speaker
I'm like Instagram and TikTok. And every one of them uses that same music that behind every video, the one that starts out like. Oh, yeah, that like that's the chosen track of conspiracy theory videos. And I was watching one like last week where they were talking about because they hate Taylor Swift, all of them. And it was this video that was like it probably
00:10:21
Speaker
cut and chopped in a certain way but like he was showing at the Grammys or something like one of the artists got on stage and is like doing her little speech you know thanking people and stuff and then she's like they keep flashing to Taylor Swift and she's like clapping and nodding you know every time she thanks somebody and then she's like and I also want to give thanks to God because without God none of this is possible I want to give all the glory to him and then it flashes to Taylor Swift and she like stops clapping and she goes mm-hmm
00:10:52
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Oh my god, see clearly Which is funny because if you look like even her I feel like God has come up for Taylor Swift before like in one of maybe in one in the documentary it had come up I would say that she I did I feel like she has stated that she identified as a Christian at some point Well, you know even Satan knows
00:11:16
Speaker
the Bible. It's true. And I love that anytime. I love that. I love the verses in the Bible that like can be just. They could just be used to to really just dismiss any conversation they're uncomfortable having. Well, actually, this person says that, well, even the demons believe in tremble like.
00:11:40
Speaker
Okay, I guess this conversation is over. They really love the idea of like subliminal messaging. Yeah. A really influential thing too. Like they can never tell you like what it's for, other than just like, well, it's, you know, it's mocking God and it's do right. It's degrading the spiritual my God. Okay, right. Especially not by, you know, Corey Feldman's
00:12:05
Speaker
halftime show at the puppy bowl or whatever. Well, let's let's see what kind of things that they are engaging in that are so concerning to him. Oh, he lists them. Yeah, he says you'll see a lot of hoods up and masks.
00:12:19
Speaker
and fire ceremonies. Even down to Taylor Swift, one of the biggest artists in the world, you watch one of her shows and she has two or three different demonic rituals to do with the pentagram on the ground. To do with all sorts of stuff on her stage. But to a lot of people it's just art and that's how people are seeing it unfortunately. A lot of hidden satanic messaging and music.
00:12:41
Speaker
It's like I don't so I'm guessing he thinks that like her dance moves are go in the form of a pentagram. The pentagram is the five sided star and if you'll notice both of Taylor's feet have
00:12:55
Speaker
five toes. Coincidence? I think not. Oh, here we go. When it comes to a lot of the music that's out there at the moment, more of the hip hop side of things. I think we know where this guy lands on some cultural issues already. Give it to a straight Ireland.
00:13:16
Speaker
There's a lot of hidden satanic and a lot of evil. There's a word. It's an exact quote. So we obviously spoke strangely. There is a lot of hidden satanic and a lot of evil within them, including down to the beats. It's very real. Well.
Music Industry Darkness and Conversion
00:13:32
Speaker
Oh, the beat crap is the worst. Dude, like when they start talking about like the off like you're you're hitting like the music hits on the offbeat, which is like some sort of satanic rhythm. It's man, it's so dumb. It's literally just like the most vague things that you can apply to anything you don't like. And then you can like set aside the things that you do like. It's a.
00:13:59
Speaker
As a father of two, Lynch cautions that certain types of music have a negative impact on society, especially children. And I like that he goes in this direction because he clearly hasn't come to terms with the fact that his music sucks and it has left a negative impact on lots of people. I think that's what's so, I don't know, I guess I don't know when people go down this road
00:14:26
Speaker
It's gotta be like you said earlier like the gone in 60 seconds stunt double or whatever it's like is it is that really like today do they have to delusion themselves into believing that. These people are successful because they sold their soul to the devil and that's and because they stayed pure and true that that's why boys own never took off in the US the way you wanted to.
00:14:49
Speaker
It's not that we're bad, it's that nobody else is playing by the rules. Yeah. 100% has an effect on society. I think society has never been worse in many areas, which is, he is, what did I say, 47? I don't know. Isn't that what everyone's been saying for the past 200 years? Every generation says it's worse than it was before. Absolutely.
00:15:17
Speaker
I don't know. No comment by Taylor Swift. I don't know why she doesn't want to engage with this guy, but... For real. I've reached out to her multiple times to come on my podcast and to dispute these claims, but it's radio silence. It's almost like she's scared. Yeah. That's a daily wire take. That's how daily wire perceives anyone who doesn't want to engage with them on their platform.
00:15:46
Speaker
Oh, man. It's it's sad to Lauren rhetoric. Oh, God, I dude, she she just popped up on that. Oh, it was that video. Yeah, that's what made me think of it. That's why she's on my brain because of that sneaker video. Yeah, I had banished her from like from my subconscious and then all of a sudden, like I saw her weird like chiseled face and it just immediately like brought back the rage.
00:16:15
Speaker
Oh, in case you're also wondering, this article then gets takes from other people in the music industry to corroborate this man's story.
00:16:33
Speaker
It says Kira Fontana, a former vocal coach, to major labels and shows, including Glee and The Voice, before converting to Christianity. This is before converting to Christianity. She told the Christian host that the more time she spent in the music industry, the more uncomfortable she became by the darkness she saw around her.
00:16:53
Speaker
It's like the more I was disliked by my coworkers and they made it an uncomfortable work environment for me because they despise me. Yeah. It's almost like I was being persecuted for trying to tell all of them about Jesus Christ at work every day. They said I made it a hostile work environment. It's funny. It's so much like, you know, like my current job now
00:17:22
Speaker
Oh, and Jeremiah for sure can relate to this more. Now that I have to hire people and it's not a ton of people, but I do have to hire people now and then. Um, it's, it's funny hearing someone like.
00:17:38
Speaker
complain about the last place they worked and how bad it was, you know, like you get all the stories about like how awful your last employer was and like, they didn't appreciate you and you brought them all these good ideas that would have fixed all their problems that they didn't want to do it because they, you know, this and that. And then you slowly, like over time start to realize like that the person who's told you all this like kind of sucks. Yeah. And at some point you started thinking like, yeah, I,
00:18:09
Speaker
I think it was you. I don't think it was them. When I was leaving a job, when I was trying to leave a job and apply for another, I did not like the job that I had. I would have preferred Newood State if circumstances played out differently. But I had some real criticisms. There were certain decisions made that made me feel like I had to leave.
00:18:34
Speaker
When you're my friend, so of course I believe that you are in the right. Yeah, which I will say I do feel like I was vindicated about five or six years later when the person who was hired for the job that I was trying to get was ultimately fired.
00:18:53
Speaker
So that was, yeah, it was nice. It was like, oh, this guy's a giant bonehead and he's single-handedly almost, he's pretty much, I mean, the company's closed now. And I think a lot of that has to do with hiring this dork to mismanage everything for several years before they owned up to their mistake, but they shouldn't have hired him. So despite all my grief and gripe with some of the decisions made, I was like,
00:19:21
Speaker
I worked at my job for probably a year before I made any comment about like frustrating things about my previous job because you if you all know what that guy sounds like if you meet somebody and within a short period of time they're telling you about their like you said their great work ideas it's like no you're immediately you're the you
00:19:41
Speaker
I'm going to assume you're the problem." And even though I didn't think I was, I was like, if I say anything negative about a previous employer, I'm going to look like a piece of shit. And everyone should know that. Never say anything negative about a former employer until someone has a chance to actually get to know you and your ideas. Yeah. Yeah. It's like if you're an adult that's constantly feuding with someone,
00:20:08
Speaker
Like you're in a different feud with someone all the time. Like you need to press pause and just look at yourself in the mirror a little bit, you know, cause that's, that shouldn't be the status quo for people. And I dunno, I, I feel like that's kind of how a lot of these guys are is they have that same energy of like, you know, I was great, but I was held back by the fact that these people were Satanists and that they, you know,
00:20:38
Speaker
I wouldn't bow to their wishes and I wouldn't like kiss the ring of, uh, you know, the, the Luciferians at, you know, Cinemax or whatever. You mean the station most well-known for soft core porn. You're going to tell me they're not evil, Casey. Yeah. I stocked the craft services table with, uh, lukewarm salami.
00:21:06
Speaker
Fontana did say, this is a slightly longer quote, but I just want to go through it because I love how vague, again, this is the pattern of just like, we're going to be vague and say that it's doing all these bad things and that it's harming people, but never actually get to like what it's doing and how it's actually impacting anybody. So if you look at the content of lyrics of the songs that are played on the radio, it's unbelievably immoral and dark and anti Jesus.
00:21:33
Speaker
When I started to see the sheer percentage of songs and videos that were leaning heavily in that direction, I came to recognize that it could not be an accident. People in very powerful positions are backing it. There are gatekeepers who are wanting this content that we hear now to be prevalent in our society. It's akin to poisoning our community and our kids are drinking from it.
00:21:56
Speaker
It's always about the kids, right? If you're not convincing people to buy your message, just tell them that it's hurting the children. Oh, but the kids! The kids! You gotta look after the kids.
00:22:11
Speaker
Our kids are drinking from a very, very, very destructive cup. I saw the effect on kids as I worked in the city and the effect is spreading. LA is the communication center for this planet. That's bold. That's where the masked dancer is made.
00:22:34
Speaker
When you go to other countries, you still see content made in Los Angeles. It's become a really heavy responsibility. People could try to minimize what comes out of Hollywood and say, oh, it's just entertainment. But it has a tremendous effect on the psyches and souls of our young people. The church needs to stand up against this darkness because it's truly having devastating effect on the next generation.
00:22:57
Speaker
If only there was a wonderful country that wasn't exposed to all of this like, you know, mental and spiritual poison. Oh wait, North Korea, you should move there. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out.
Pirate Yard Display Humor
00:23:12
Speaker
Quick aside. Okay. So I think last year I was, I told you about my neighbor who is not really my, he's not my neighbor. He lives like a couple of miles up the road, but, uh,
00:23:25
Speaker
It's a, it's a, this guy is multiple times has had just like the worst flags out front by his locks. Uh, he had like one of Jesus, like holding an American flag. Oh, I love that. He's like pulling it back. He's like, he's kind of like getting sexual with it. Like it's like that one. And then proud, he had one that was like proud Christian American or proud Christian nationalist or something.
00:23:54
Speaker
I think he's had a bunch of really cringy ones. He had several blue line ones. I think one of those featured Jesus. But his latest thing, which is, okay, not everybody might agree. To me, I think this is way worse. I would gladly rather see him put up multiple flags than do what he's been doing. He's slowly been like morphing his front yard into like a Pirates Cove themed
00:24:23
Speaker
Like it seriously, it looks like it looks like he hired the deck like the landscaper for Pirates Cove Mini Golf to like do the front of his house. Was he putting like plastic units out there and shit? Well, he's got like he's got like an old rowboat like turned over on the front with like oars sticking out of it.
00:24:44
Speaker
He's got a light, like a little lighthouse out by the road. And then he slowly, like every weekend, this so far this year, since it's warmed up, he's been like putting in those, you know, those, you know, those like, it'll be like a wooden, a pole that sticks out of the ground. It's got a big hole through it. And then they run a big heavy rope. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like on a, he's turning his front yard into a wall.
00:25:12
Speaker
That's why it's like a long John Silver's. Has he committed to the the sea, the white seashell driveway yet? I think he's got some seashells out there. But that's coming. It's that would be a tough one. That one's calling. It's probably cost a lot more to get seashells out your way. But like having a nautical theme on like the the the Great Plains of Kansas is
00:25:43
Speaker
That is true. It's just an ode to previous times. He's trying to respect your heritage. He's like just a few hundred million years like out of his, you know, after his time. See, I think the problem that we have in society is that people just arbitrarily choose, you know, this is what's important to me because I start the clock here and then you think anything that happened afterwards is like he's starting the clock so far back. I mean,
00:26:03
Speaker
It's the worst. Like, it's way worse than the worst.
00:26:13
Speaker
If anything, that just shows you how much more he appreciates the full breadth of of Kansas culture and heritage. So I applaud. I applaud this effort of his. I would rather see that than wear Jesus flags personally. I know we're a little bit different. It does scream like in the world, but not of the world. Yes, you know. All right. Our guest this week is a lovely chap.
Interview with Zach Merrill: Screen Printing
00:26:43
Speaker
by the name of Zach Merrill, Zach Merrill of action tease. Zach Merrill has been doing some incredible work, printing up, he started, I forget when he started action tease, we talk about it. The dates don't matter. I've known Zach for a while. I met Zach
00:27:01
Speaker
back when he was playing music with my buddy Jesse. And he's an awesome guy, had a lot of fun hangouts with that guy, absolutely love him. And when he started action tease, he wanted to kind of do printing, screen printing a little bit different than maybe the way the industry had gone. So his whole thing is like all water based prints. He usually he's been doing a lot of like, just big
00:27:27
Speaker
intricate comic book themed prints, which has led to him really popping off on social medias and led to an incredible opportunity working with Zarface to do a collab for a t-shirt. For those of you who don't know Zarface, that's
00:27:46
Speaker
Inspected Deck and Esoteric are their rap group. So they've always done comic book themed album covers, t-shirts, stuff like that. I guess their manager caught wind of what Zach was doing because the aesthetic just matched so well for what they had had for all of their previous work. So they reached out to him for a collab.
00:28:16
Speaker
Postmodern satanist yes that's in that industry now you know he's he's in the he's kind of he's bumping shoulders with some satanists at least so he's you should watch out but yeah he's uh he's been doing some great shit it's led to some great opportunities i'm sure it'll lead to some more incredible opportunities down the road
00:28:35
Speaker
Definitely check out his work, buy a shirt, well, when you can. That's what's also fun is he does like these pre-orders where you get a short window to order whatever it is that he's got cooking up. So he's got a cool model going on. I absolutely love it and own one of his shirts myself. Looking forward to getting some more. But great conversation with Zach. Yeah, I don't know. Got nothing else to say. Great conversation with Zach.
00:29:03
Speaker
Yeah, like and subscribe to boy.
00:29:08
Speaker
Anything and everything. Find us on Instagram. If you're not on Instagram, you can join our Discord, which is, we've got some new people in recently, which has been cool. Some old acquaintances and some new people that are listeners long-term. Join up, say hello. We've got some cool guests coming in the next few weeks here. If you guys remember Charles McBride,
00:29:35
Speaker
who's been on the podcast a couple of different times. Um, he's, I think, uh, Oh, what's his face? The, uh, the, the communist streamer, the big one he's led. Oh, he's the hot guy that went to Ukraine, which is a pretty good way of explaining Charles. No, but he's, uh, he's gotten a pretty big following, you know, for his commentary on both Ukraine and, uh, now, especially on the war in Gaza.
00:30:05
Speaker
we're going to be dipping into that tomorrow night. So keep an eye out for that episode next week. It's probably going to be a little heavier one, I would imagine. But yeah, some cool things in the works. So if you like the show, leave us a review wherever you listen to it. And don't forget to join the Discord. Enjoy our conversation with Zach Merrill.
00:30:31
Speaker
Hey everybody, we are back with our guest, Zach Merrill. What's up, dude? Yo, what's up, man? I'm doing good. Just hanging. Nice. Nice. Dude, I'm so happy we're doing this. We've had only two interviews in the history of this podcast.
00:30:51
Speaker
Have the audio shit the bed in some form or fashion. Yours is one of them. And it's always weird going back to back. Like you have a whole conversation like, hey, let's try to do that same thing again. And she's like, that's not a good idea. So sat on it. And now we are back.
00:31:09
Speaker
And you have had so much shit happen since last time we talked to you. Good shit, mostly good shit. Before, last time we talked to you it had been a lot of bad shit and now it's a lot of good shit. So things are coming full circle for you. But I was gonna say, oh yeah, normally, even if we had already talked to you, I would have been reaching out again anyway because of everything you've had going on. So I'm excited to be hanging out again.
00:31:36
Speaker
Hell yeah man, I'm stoked to be here and yeah, not surprised the audio did something weird. I swear I'm one of those. There's like a word for it, like a person that like technology like glitches around.
00:31:51
Speaker
Like it's like a thing. It's weird. I just went out of flight EMP. I don't know what it is. But like, it's really typical. It's super common. I'm surprised when it doesn't happen. So I'm stoked to be here, man. And I feel good that we're gonna sneak through this one pretty, pretty good.
00:32:09
Speaker
I feel like I try to be as thankful for the doors that God closes as the ones that he opens. Oh, wow. Damn. Well, we might as well end it there, dude. We like to wait till the end to get to the heavy stuff. There's just a lot going on here.
00:32:30
Speaker
in your white walled up. Where are you, dude? I'm at the Hampton Inn in Hayes, Kansas. Nice. Dude, the curtains to your left or your right, whatever they are, they legitimately look like Nintendo 64 graphics. They look weird, blurred out, you know what I mean? It's so weird. The Hampton Inn couldn't afford high resolution window dressings. Yeah, it's like Nintendo 64. Dude, they're a little pixelated.
00:32:59
Speaker
I remember the first, so when like, uh, when you first started getting better TVs, but we're trying to play old systems, right? Like I had this game, uh, I had on game cube, uh, X-Men legends. Anyone play X-Men legends? Yes. Oh God, that game ripped so hard. And I was living in Virginia. I was probably like 21 at the time. And my brother was coming to visit me.
00:33:29
Speaker
And I was like, oh, this would be sick. I'm going to hook up the GameCube and we'll just like rip through X-Men legends. And I hadn't really had that. No, I put it, it was on my Wii, but you could use the GameCube games or whatever. So you set up, get up on the TV. And it was just like unbearably bad pixelation because the TV just wasn't downscaled enough, I guess. It was unplayable. It was, yeah.
00:33:57
Speaker
It's so funny because there's this like obsession with like wanting to own like original like everything whatever people hate everything streaming now blah blah blah but like games are like I just want the physical copy of the game and I'm like every physical copy of everything I own is absolutely worthless to me at this point unplayable unusable that's funny splinter cell is just not as immersive in 4k
00:34:21
Speaker
It looks like they're on NES graphics at this point with all the hard pixels. That's funny. Pac-Man joined the Taliban and is now decked out in lost American gear.
00:34:36
Speaker
Yeah, I'm still such a sucker for like the retro stuff though. Like I have, it's funny, it does definitely look it looks way better on like older TVs. Yeah. Like if you're trying to play like, you know, an original Super Nintendo game with like the cartridge and stuff, if you put it on like a new like 4k TV, it's like, you know, kind of sketchy.
00:34:58
Speaker
But if you put it on an old CR TV, it's just dope. This looks sick. It needs to have a VCR built into it. Yeah, preferably. That really enhances the experience. The first TV that your parents would let you hook the Nintendo to was the dusty 400-pound convex
00:35:21
Speaker
Glass one with the wooden the fake wood around it that was stuck in your grandpa's garage It's got the big dial on the side that when you turn it, it's like totally and the little switch on like the back of the original Nintendo That had like the channel three or channel four. Yeah She's like, you know flip that maybe it'll work now, you know, like I
00:35:45
Speaker
Good stuff. Good stuff. Did you just miss a day of blowing in cartridges? It's good to say. So TV's you have to blow in. Dude, I blew in a cartridge three months ago. Which cartridge? What are you blowing in? What are you blowing in these days, Zach? Castlevania, man. Oh, sick. I'm fucked on it, dude. I forgot exactly which one. There were a couple on Super Nintendo.
00:36:10
Speaker
It was like Super Castlevania. I forgot like the number, but. You're currently ripping a Super Nintendo, huh? Yeah, I bounced between that and I got a Switch and the Switch is really cool. Switch fucking rules. Yeah, I was playing like some retro stuff on Switch and
00:36:33
Speaker
I can't remember what else I was playing, but it's cool. Yeah. It's a really cool system. Everyone keeps telling me to get like, uh, the news, all the games and stuff. So yeah, dude, I killed 200 hours easy on tears of the kingdom. It was, yeah. Wow. That's nothing else was out that I wanted to play. I got it. And then I, I'm
00:36:52
Speaker
probably for four or five months. I was just like every, that's all I did. And this dude, the thing that would really help is the switch. You could just like pick it up and play it for like 15 minutes. I'm like water to simmer while I'm cooking dinner. And I'll just like tears of the kingdom. And then it's like,
00:37:11
Speaker
Cause like I have a PS five too, but then also a lot of the games that I, you know, you play on PS five, my kids are young. I'm not like throwing on cyberpunk while my kids are just in the living room, which is why they're playing for that. So it's like the switch was just, it's so easy to just like pick up, use it for like 15 minutes here and there and put it down before you know it. You're like, just like chunking whatever game you're playing. So it's dope. I haven't prioritized it as much as I want to. Cause I know it's really freaking cool.
00:37:40
Speaker
Uh, I just need to like make it a point to be like, all right, I'm gonna like really play the switch. Like I just learned like yesterday that there's like a slot that you put the games into. I just thought the entire thing was just like downloads, you know? Like I'm that far behind. You thought that was a salami warmer.
00:37:59
Speaker
Like I, yeah, I got it even noticed. I was like, Oh, it's like a, I don't know, an HD card or is it like the expansion pack? Where you put more memory or storage. Yeah. Jesse, he buys these, uh, they're like a little Chinese handheld.
00:38:17
Speaker
console, it looked like a game here, like a X or whatever that the PSP, right? Yeah. Yeah. And he programs them and stuff. And so he he sent me one and it has like every video game through Nintendo 64 on it. No, no, no. Through like Sega game or Dreamcast Dreamcast. Yeah. Nice. Like 18000 games or something ridiculous. It's just like emulators and stuff. Yeah.
00:38:45
Speaker
It's wild. It's so cool. And then there's, there's like, there's some that you come across that like don't work quite the same on the, like on the handheld as they would have. And, you know, cause there's like arcade games and stuff in there, but most of them it's, I mean, it's just like playing like Mario 64, but it's on a little handheld thing.
00:39:06
Speaker
the game.
00:39:24
Speaker
like golden. I've tried to play golden eye on the switch, dude. And it was because they had the N64 emulator thing. And I was recalling while I was playing it like you would move from side to side and forward with the joystick. But the C buttons would like move. It would like. Yeah, it was like the joystick. You would go forward and you would turn with the joystick. But then like the C buttons are what would let you stray from side to side. And yeah.
00:39:54
Speaker
It doesn't map right to any new controllers. It's so goofy. You turn into your dad trying to play the game with you when you were 12. You just like huddled in a corner like staring at your feet. You pick odd job because that was the first game that was like truly broken because
00:40:13
Speaker
In GoldenEye, you never had to aim up or down. It was all just left and right. But odd job was too short. And if you didn't get shit calibrated, you just wouldn't be able to. Big head paintball mode, dude. Slappers only. I forgot about the slappers. Slappers only. Dude, that's how we fix Ukraine. Slappers only. Dude, that's the answer to all lore, man. Just fucking...
00:40:42
Speaker
GoldenEye rules. Yeah, right. Slappers on the line. I always go back to needing to turn on paintball mode because that was the Christian workaround for parents that didn't want you playing teen rated shooting games. It's paintball mode.
00:41:02
Speaker
Yep. I remember like when the blood would go across the screen, it was like, Oh God, I hope no one sees this, you know. All right. So I want to hear, uh, let's see, what are we going to get in for? Let's just, let's, uh, let's do, uh,
00:41:20
Speaker
A quick, well not too quick, but go through some of your story before we get into some of your work. But I definitely want to spend a lot of time on what you've been up to and some of the cool shit you've been doing for work. But let's start off with giving the listeners a little explanation on your background, the type of world that you grew up in and the area of which you grew up.
Church Experiences and Personal Transformation
00:41:43
Speaker
Yeah. All right, so I grew up, small town, Northeast Connecticut.
00:41:51
Speaker
grew up in the church, went to a whole bunch of different churches. The one that stuck out the most, this was probably like middle school into freshman year of high school was this like super Pentecostal church called Eagle's Wings.
00:42:11
Speaker
Yeah, they do have some really good names. And they avoided using like, you know, there was no flame or fire in the name. So bonus points for that. Yeah. But yeah, chick got really weird, really goofy there. Up until that, I didn't really recognize how sheltered
00:42:40
Speaker
In a lot of ways I was, you know, just kind of growing up in the church, like you have, you know, your small bubble of like what is considered right and what is considered wrong. You know, what is considered like sinful things that you shouldn't do, things you shouldn't listen to or read about or learn about. Um, so I was just really stuck in there. And then a lot of that kind of came to a head, uh, when the youth pastor at the Eagles wings church, um, was found out to be.
00:43:08
Speaker
sexually assaulting, you know, she was super young. She was like 13 or 14 year olds, one of the girls in the news group there. Whoa. And that that had been going on for a while, you know. With that same kid. So since before that kid was 13, like a while. Well, I'm not exactly sure. I mean, other students. Yeah, with.
00:43:31
Speaker
I mean, potentially with other people, I don't know for sure, but definitely at least one girl, you know, who was clearly underage and, you know, at least a few months. I don't, you know, fully know the details or anything, but it was this big thing, you know, like the churches and the news and all that stuff and police involved and like, you know, the whole thing just like totally blew up.
00:43:57
Speaker
it's good that the police got involved because we know too many stories where that never happens yeah oh for sure I mean like and I was still pretty dangly young like I was
00:44:10
Speaker
I was probably in like eighth grade when this was going on and, you know, just fully invested into, into like the Christian, you know, culture, like DC talk, like Jesus freak, like, you know, that, that whole like scene was like my jam, you know? Yeah. Definitely some good music, but just really pretty immune.
00:44:30
Speaker
um to the outside world in a lot of ways um stuff like that happens when you're young because you're so like in that culture and you've you have yeah there's no gray areas at that point it's just like pretty black and white this is right this is wrong we're obviously right so when something like that happens when you're younger i feel like it doesn't like
00:44:53
Speaker
You know, that stuff rocks your faith when you're a bit older and you go, oh, this is weird. But when you're younger, you're like, well, obviously that person wasn't really the thing that we are. So like you can just do the it's just easier to like let that go as something obviously wrong, but not let it like you too. Yeah, that's like a really good perspective. And I think that's something that a lot of people
00:45:18
Speaker
don't understand or underestimate when they hear things about that that happen at church, you know, especially like younger, it's like, just the, the power of, you know, I don't want to say like, brainwashing, but you just get so locked into like a system of belief that like, no matter how like crazy it is,
00:45:40
Speaker
When something happens, it's a lot easier to just kind of be numb to it and kind of put it in a box of like, you know Oh, that's wrong, but I'm still right in the big picture Everything is still like okay and like God is so good and like Jesus still loves me and like everything's gonna be fine Yeah, it can really easily become just like this really self-centered way of like
00:46:04
Speaker
Uh, false safety, you know, um, and even with like the cops getting like, I feel like if you're young and you hear about something like that and it gets swept under the rug, you might be more like, what the fuck? You know, I would say, which is probably the experience of a lot of, uh, Catholics, to be honest, uh, New England ones, especially, but.
00:46:26
Speaker
uh it's like new england's a trip things didn't go great in boston for catholics but it was like with all that you like it gets swept in the rug people get moved around you could be like that's kind of fishy but like if the church got if the cops got involved and they're like we're gonna do the right thing here it makes it even easier to be like yeah we're we're just rooting out the evil here at this point
00:46:49
Speaker
Sure sure yeah so I mean all that happens and I mean like like you reference like you know it definitely shook me but I was young I was still like in it like it didn't have any kind of like negative impact on my you know.
00:47:06
Speaker
what I called like faith at the time, you know, it was just kind of like, Oh, that's crazy. You know, this is wild. Um, and I, I just kind of like got over it. It was just kind of like onto the next thing, which is, you know, kind of fucked up, but that's just where I was at, uh, at the time. And so like, you know, I kind of faded out from like church. Um, occasionally, um, I would go to,
00:47:32
Speaker
This Vineyard Church, which was also in Connecticut with my parents, they had went there a lot when I was like young, young.
00:47:42
Speaker
And I didn't have any like negative experiences or anything there. It was just, you know, your typical kind of like church experience. It was where like the life in your way kids, the Kellum family, they all went to that church and stuff. Yeah, you're familiar with them, Sam. And so like, it was fine, you know, whatever. It was like a far drive from us, so we never got like super connected to it. And then throughout high school,
00:48:10
Speaker
I still kind of had my faith, but it wasn't necessarily super active. I wasn't going around calling myself a Christian.
00:48:21
Speaker
But at my core, I still held on to a lot of what I consider now pretty unhealthy limiting views, especially when it comes to politics and acceptance of other people. I was still very stubborn and like, oh, well, gay marriage is wrong. Well, that's still wrong and that's still a sin and stuff like that. But at the same time, I was a teenage kid and I would do
00:48:51
Speaker
to the extent that I felt was okay, things that every teenage boy would do. Did you ever do the tobacco trying and rationalize that? No. But it was never even, for me, that was never a choice of my faith, per se. It was just I never really had
00:49:21
Speaker
uh, any desire to like, uh, do drugs or later I got heavy into drinking for like a very short period of time. Um, but beyond that, it was, it was, I dunno, it was just never like, never my jam. Yeah.
00:49:38
Speaker
Um, you're talking more about maybe like having sex with household items Yes more along those lines, okay Yes, follow the big house, you know the traditional ones. I don't think but I do follow yeah um, and so I just I kind of carried on like that for You know years up through a couple years of like community college um and
00:50:07
Speaker
Life was fine. It was kind of like my own like little bubble. You know, I didn't really go outside of it much.
00:50:15
Speaker
I cared about people, but I was still pretty stubborn in my views that I was raised with. Then I got into touring with servants and stuff. That was really cool. I could speak for hours on that. Then at the same period of time, I met my ex-wife.
00:50:40
Speaker
was married for, I think it was like four years, something like that, close to five. That whole, that got really, really fucking crazy. And that, the falling apart of that marriage was really, I think the beginning of my questioning of faith of where I was really forced to face myself and really discover
00:51:10
Speaker
what I actually like believed and what I wanted to believe and how I wanted my life to look. Yeah.
00:51:19
Speaker
That's like the very, very short version. Well, cause, uh, with, well, okay. So for the listeners, I've known Zach for God, I met, I think we met when I was like 21, 22, maybe 20. Oh, 22. I was like 22. Uh, I was living in Virginia. You and so my buddy Jesse, whose name comes up plenty of times on this podcast. Um, and, uh, Zach, we're in a band together called servants, some good, melodic hardcore.
00:51:48
Speaker
You guys were grinding away for a while. And on one of their tours, they came through Virginia. And then that's where I met Zach. Everyone crashed to their house, at my house. And we watched a fun film called Monsterd. I still... Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yes. Quality. That's a core memory for me at this point. That's good, dude. So thanks. Oh, yeah.
00:52:18
Speaker
So yeah, that's how that was that's our connection so then most a lot I mean our connection even still is like has been really just through like it passing with through Jesse through You know just kind of like mutual friends here and there obviously Yeah watching Sharknado movies together But so we don't we don't get through uh, we don't catch up too much these days but
00:52:47
Speaker
Talk about a little bit like the unraveling of you know Faith and then and how that related to your marriage falling apart and my question this would be a little bit of like Was there some of the whole like if if I do the right things like I was always told then this stuff is supposed to work out or is it? like what was it there was for sure an aspect of that it's it's like crazy like it's like You know that whole
00:53:15
Speaker
Part of my life just feels literally like another lifetime. Like it doesn't, I know like I was there, but.
00:53:23
Speaker
It just feels so long ago and so like distant. It's like crazy, like kind of like opening that door again and trying to like recount and like remember stuff. Especially like the way that I felt, but that feeling of that you had said like, you know, doing the right thing or like this is all gonna work out for the best or for me specifically, like, you know, this is part of like God's plan. Yeah.
00:53:49
Speaker
was really, really damaging, uh, to me, to my mental health and to, uh, you know, honestly to my, my ex-wives too. Um, and so, you know, the beginning of like our relationship, we were both, um, you know, you could say we were both Christian for sure. Um, not necessarily like super active. Like I wasn't going to church. Uh, I don't think she was either. Um, but.
00:54:19
Speaker
It was like, I don't know, it was, it was just kind of like a thing. It was just like, oh yeah, I'm a Christian, like I'm a Christian. Yeah. And so with that kind of came like, you know, oh, this person, you know, probably doesn't drink this person probably doesn't do drugs. You know, this person probably listens to these this kind of music, you know, stuff like that. And so there was like that aspect at the beginning of our relationship. And then that kind of became a much bigger part
00:54:48
Speaker
to where we started growing to church together. Um, she was dealing with like a lot of mental health issues. So she got really into the, um, you know, saving aspect of Christianity, um, that I think a lot of people, you know, are, are attracted to from it. You know, I look like it's, you know, you're told, you know, there's this all loving God, this all powerful being, you know, and then there's also his son that he sent down to die for you and you know,
00:55:18
Speaker
save you from sin, he's always there for you. It makes a lot of people feel really good and feel saved and helped. And that still helps a lot of people out, just that idea. So that became really important for her. And then I got really drawn to it as well.
00:55:39
Speaker
And so we just kind of continue to grow into, um, I guess the more like toxic side of religion and just get really kind of like close minded and our beliefs, um, just really, really hardcore on, uh, black and white, just no gray area whatsoever.
00:56:01
Speaker
this all happened in your like earlier 20 you got married when did you first get married uh you were pretty young it was like 21 yeah it was like 21 you played the same game i know yeah yeah you know like the typical like oh it's like god's will for us to get married like i remember like
00:56:19
Speaker
vividly thinking that like this, you know, feeling as though I had heard a voice from God saying that like, this is the wife that I have chosen for you. It's just like, you know, thinking about that and looking back at that now, I'm just like, damn, I don't regret anything. But it's just kind of like, damn, dude, like, it's so easy to
00:56:42
Speaker
you know, misguided yourself and, you know, just have these thoughts in a tribute, just potentially random thoughts to something much, much bigger, you know, but that's right. Religion. Any intrusive can be a God can be like a message, you know, it likes. Yeah, I think, yeah, it's like,
00:57:05
Speaker
It's kind of like an, like an amplified on-call version of what people do anyways. Like when they really like the idea of something and they want, they, they seek like confirmation bias to reaffirm that like this decision is right. You know, maybe it's like.
00:57:23
Speaker
Well, I mean, I work in automotive and like, I feel like that's most of how car sales happen. Like you go find every possible reason in the book. There's like, well, the interest rates gone down a little bit and, uh,
00:57:42
Speaker
You know, if you look at the values in Kelly blue book, like our car's actually worth more now than it was like a year. It's probably the perfect time to get rid of it. You know, like, I know that because I do that all the time. They're graphing out like a Bitcoin junkie by yourself. I don't know. Yeah, exactly. What was it? Uh, like pushed you guys towards the like.
00:58:08
Speaker
hardcore legalistic thing? Is it just like the turmoil of what was going on or? I think probably the like this seemingly like, you know, solid, like it was something like solid. It was like a foundation that you felt like stable on when things were like pretty hectic. Like her home life was
00:58:33
Speaker
um, not healthy in any way whatsoever. And I was kind of dealing with the stress that came with, you know, trying to be a good, you know, boyfriend and then husband, like through all that when I had, you know, I, I had no idea, you know, what to do and experiences with, you know, abuse and stuff like that. Like I was, you know, I was, we were both just like so young. Um, and so.
00:58:58
Speaker
You know, religion became like something to look to and something that brought like some clarity. It helped make sense of things to some extent. It was like, oh, well, the Bible says this, you know.
00:59:14
Speaker
Oh, well, I prayed about it and I feel like now we should do this, you know, stuff like that. And so I think that was a really big aspect of why, you know, religion kind of became like a much bigger part of like our lives at the time. I remember a time in my life where like,
00:59:34
Speaker
Well, now I recognize the patterns right when I would make big changes to my life. Sure. Like, maybe three months, three or four months after anything major is when I would like decline. Sure. And it, it took me a while to realize that. But
00:59:53
Speaker
It was like I had after I had some time after I bought a house in Worcester, you know doing the first time home buyer thing it was like that I I would have to actually map out the days but between that like, you know having your first kid even before having your first kid becoming a foster parent unexpectedly like yeah, there's a lot and I remember in like in like low low low low and
01:00:19
Speaker
I don't probably haven't mentioned this on the podcast, but fuck it. I'll share it at this point. You just have that. Like I would drive like an hour or more to work. And I just for like a short period of time, it was like a dangerous level of like.
01:00:35
Speaker
You're driving down the highway and you're just kind of longingly looking at the side of the road. You're like, this seems like a pretty easy solution. And you're like, I'm thinking about this too much. Like I'm getting, I started to really worry myself with how much I was thinking about like, just not making it to work and not making it home.
01:00:52
Speaker
It didn't last long and I haven't had anything that extreme since, but it was like, instead, like I remember even like having a conversation with my wife had come up where it's just like, I don't, it's not that like you want to, you just have this, I don't want to be here anymore feeling. You're not like, you don't have this thought of like death or dying, but you don't want to be here. Yeah. And then.
01:01:15
Speaker
I attributed all of that at that time. I was just like, even she was like, you should probably go see someone. I think you should look, think about medication, whatever. I go, my response was I, obviously the problem is I'm just not praying and reading my Bible and that could have fucking killed me if I, like, it's probably killed plenty of people and that's fucking sad and scary. Yeah. That's, I mean, that's where I was at for, uh, you know,
01:01:42
Speaker
there's like legitimately like a year and a half like two year period of my life that like, I do not like remember like what happens like I remember probably a total of I don't know like five minutes just like random like moments of in this was after kind of like the marriage fell apart. And I was just like real real deep like heavy depression and I
01:02:12
Speaker
Was really like okay just desperate for any kind of like help from you know, God from Jesus at the time And I would like I wasn't getting anything, you know, like it just wasn't like this this isn't it like this is not it This is like not enough And like there at one moment that I remember in particular I was just like laying on the floor of the apartment that I used to share with my ex-wife just like super like broken and
01:02:42
Speaker
Uh, and I was listening to, um, darkest hour, who was like one of those like forbidden bands. Hell yeah. Like that's like a Christian cause a lot of their lyrics like challenge, like faith and stuff. And like with one of the song lyrics was like, you know, uh, and one of these days we'll no longer betray ourselves in any way. Oh, such a great song. Yeah, dude. It's so good. And I'm going to listen to that as soon as we're done here, dude. And in that moment, I was just kind of like.
01:03:12
Speaker
OK, like if if God or Jesus or whoever the fuck is not going to help me, because if I stay on this path, I will not be here anymore. I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, then I'm going to fucking do it myself. You know, because it's like if you know, the thought in my head was like, God, if this is your plan for my life, then I am fucking rejecting this plan.
01:03:43
Speaker
And I'm going to fucking do everything that I can to take back my life and to start over again. So during that time that you started to grow that really powerful mustache? Hopefully. You're like, fuck you, God. I'll show you. Yeah, right.
01:04:05
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like I've had a mustache for a while now. It's powerful. I mean, it's been powerful for a while, but I can at least track to some degree in my mind, just like you growing. I feel like you grew into the mustache, to be honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, now that you mentioned it, I guess I have. It does have a reverent feel to it, too. Yeah. Not honors go tees, and your mustache mocks him. Yeah.
01:04:33
Speaker
But yeah, man, that was probably like a really pivotal moment in my faith, you know, after just a heavy like falling apart with the marriage. You know, long story short, with that, it was just a lot of, you know, her, like, I feel weird, like talking like negative about her in any way, because I don't mean to do that. But
01:05:02
Speaker
I mean, to whatever degree, she was dealing with stuff in a different way than you, but going through something, obviously, so I don't- Yeah, she chose other people, other options, and those were her decisions, and that's just kind of the way it was, and I don't regret anything, and I don't hold anything against her in any way, and I hope she's doing awesome.
01:05:27
Speaker
all of that. It was just like a really heavy period of darkness for me. And then that one moment was one thing that sticks out a lot of to where I was like, okay, like, I've done this, you know, I've held on, I felt that God wanted me to like, stick this out, because that's your wife and you're called to be like, the husband, the man of the marriage and like, you know, do all this stuff. And
01:05:51
Speaker
you know, love your neighbor and like all these things and like, so while I was choosing to do that stuff, you know, I was neglecting myself in my own mental health, and just got really, really totally lost, just completely lost.
01:06:07
Speaker
Um, yeah. And so that brings me back to that point of just laying on the apartment floor and just kind of being like, all right, there's, there's like hardly anything left of me, you know, in every aspect. So I'm, uh, I'm choosing a different path. And that was really the start of just a complete like unraveling of faith and really just finding myself again.
01:06:31
Speaker
So from there, still did a bunch of touring with servants. Yeah, it like just vocals. And then rode that wave for a little bit. And then I had kind of another like, life crisis, I guess, which is kind of when I decided to basically just like live out of my truck for like, like half a year, close to a year, just like drive around the country.
01:06:59
Speaker
Um, and you know, uh, I was just really trying to like find myself and like find purpose again. Um, and the next kind of pivotal moment through that was I was in like the bad lands, uh, literally like, uh, it was like this super, um,
01:07:18
Speaker
middle of nowhere geography talk dude he's probably fully torqued i love the badlands in south dakota uh yeah the badlands are dope but it was this uh it was like this lesser known like campgrounds middle of like nowhere um awesome i loved it uh pretty sure i saw ufos yeah anyways um yeah there was another pitiful moment where you know i just really remember uh sitting on top of this like you know little hill
01:07:47
Speaker
Nothing around me. You know, this was far away from like the actual like park area. Um, just like desolate. Uh, it was sick and I was like, all right, like this is, uh, this is it. Like, like God, like I'm fucking here. Uh, if you want to fucking do something, like you gotta do something bro. Cause, uh, things are getting really, really fucking tough for me again. And you know, I've given.
01:08:15
Speaker
a whole lot of myself to you into your teachings, into your beliefs. And you got to fucking show me like something. And nothing happened, you know. And so I was you don't count that sexual experience with a coyote is something big horn. It is pretty sweet.
01:08:40
Speaker
Yeah. And so that was kind of the second pit of the moment. And that for me was really like, all right, this is it. Like, uh, I'm no longer going to focus my energy on, you know, trying to have a, you know, right or biblical or, you know, uh, strong, whatever relationship with God, with Jesus anymore. Uh, I'm just going to.
01:09:09
Speaker
do what I can to focus on myself and love other people as best as I can.
01:09:17
Speaker
and just learn and grow. And so that's just kind of a big part of where I've been at. Like I don't reject God. I'm not like an atheist. I don't put like a label on anything. I still have like a spiritual side to things, but yeah, as far as I'm concerned, it's like I do everything that I can
01:09:42
Speaker
to focus on myself so that I can be there in healthy ways for other people. Yeah. Dude, that's awesome, man. I love, I think your story is fantastic. I feel like there's so much to it that we could just like pick apart forever too.
Finding Peace and Letting Go of Beliefs
01:10:02
Speaker
Yeah. There's a lot there, man. I got to- Yeah. I'm like cooking alive in here, dude. Yeah. Do you need a second?
01:10:09
Speaker
ditch some layers no i should be good now fires of hell god's making you sweaty baby this is it this is his his divine timing he's gonna light the fucking heater on fire judgment just burn your house down like i don't know
01:10:30
Speaker
What do you, so you had like this period that was really tough, you know, when your marriage was coming to an end and stuff. Do you remember like a time after that? Like, do you remember like a time or a time period or it's a day or whatever, where you just felt like, like, I think, I think I'm, I think I'm realigned in here. Like, I think things are turning in the right direction. Was it immediate or did it take a while or?
01:11:01
Speaker
No, I mean, there are times that I still don't feel that, you know, it certainly wasn't, it was never like, you know, a snap, like, you know, things make sense now, or, you know, things are like good now. No, I never really had that. It's always kind of been a continual process of
01:11:31
Speaker
letting things go and letting new beliefs in and allowing myself to feel a lot of the hurt and pain that came with letting a lot of the religious beliefs that I held onto for so long kind of laying those to rest. And that's just been a continual process for years. It still is. There are still things that will come up
01:12:00
Speaker
Um, you know, I'm trying to think of like a good example of, you know, even, even moments of like, you know, if I don't do this, then God is going to punish me and something horrible is going to happen. You know, I'll still get like those thoughts sometimes, and I have to catch myself and be like, wait, no, it's not dude. You know, and if it does, and if that really is the way that, you know, this Christian God operates,
01:12:25
Speaker
then fuck that, you know? Like, then, you know, do better, dude. Like, do better, you know? It's funny how, like, how stuck in that cycle of, like, punitive this and that. Like, if I don't do the right thing, something bad's gonna happen. It's very, like, I don't know. You know what's the weird thing about Christianity? Cultural, American cultural Christianity is just how much it pulls from, like, other things without just owning up to that. Or it's just like, Mitch, you've totally taken on this karma idea.
01:12:55
Speaker
And you can find your way out of that in the Bible. You can find your way into it in the Bible. You read through certain portions and it's like, you disobeyed me and this is your punishment. And then you'll find plenty of places where that's not the case. So it's like, you don't have to believe that. And there is that divergence throughout the entire Bible where God fundamentally functions differently according to different people.
01:13:22
Speaker
So yeah, it's so like interesting to me just like being able to look at
01:13:27
Speaker
You know, a lot of different belief systems, you know, from the outside now is just how like interconnected a lot of those things are and how, you know, a lot of the things that people believe are not as concrete as they think they are, you know, how, how much, you know, you as a person are just kind of taking what works for you and making that like the law.
01:13:54
Speaker
You see that in all religions, all over the place. And outside of it too, let's be clear. I know a lot of people who are looking to crystals for their answers or their sign, their biological sign. Totally. I have found a lot of peace, and I guess as spiritual as I get in
01:14:17
Speaker
Um, you know, there's some like Buddhist belief. I certainly don't consider myself like a Buddhist by any means at all, but I like their idea of, uh, what's called the middle way. And it's basically just like, you know, exist in, uh, the middle of things, like don't force things, uh, but also don't ignore things. You know, like the, the guy who whips himself, uh, for penance, you know, like that's, that's a little too extreme.
01:14:46
Speaker
And then there's the person that might be a hypocrite with their beliefs, who says one thing, but totally does the other thing. And that's kind of unlike the whole other spectrum. And so existing in this middle ground in the gray area, basically, to where, to an extent, everything has some truth.
01:15:09
Speaker
everything also has a lot of falseness to it. And you can't have one without the other. We wouldn't know what truth is without the lies. We wouldn't know what the lies are without the truth. And so you just kind of exist in the middle. And so that's kind of where I find myself spiritually in a lot of ways these days. It's just kind of like, I like to exist in the middle, where I don't claim to have the answers to anything.
01:15:37
Speaker
You know, and I don't I don't want to, you know, it's like I felt as though I had it all figured out, you know, for years, you know, just like Jesus is the way the truth in the life like God is this way. This is wrong. This is right. And like.
01:15:53
Speaker
it all believing that every day it was just like fuck me up you know and my people and that's fine uh but it didn't work for me um and so it's funny how refreshing it can be like like our whole quest was uh certitude and you had the right answers and then the scariest thing on in the world uh is like
01:16:17
Speaker
Not having that and then it's I don't know. I guess it's just like getting used to cold water or something you just like once Yeah, once you accept the uncertainty of it all you it's like the most refreshing fucking thing you can experience to know that you don't have to fucking know everything in in a world where you can't like it's like you're losing battle when you're just have to know that
01:16:42
Speaker
And that's really the reality is that we cannot know everything, you know, and so the harder you try to convince yourself that what you believe is the absolute final say truth, the more.
01:16:56
Speaker
Ultimately, the more foolish you are, the more close-minded you become. It's just like, it's a dead end, dude. It's just a dead end. I don't want to pivot too hard, but I do want to know about UFOs if this is an experience we're talking about.
Unexplained Lights in the Badlands
01:17:14
Speaker
Dude, I love that stuff, man. I love it all about it. Your new religion?
01:17:19
Speaker
When you got abducted. Hey, maybe, man. I don't know. That would be so sick. Dude, just go for it. In like 10 years, just sell that story. We'll scrub this episode from the internet if we have to, to support your future careers and abductee. But this is something I've come around, speaking of not having the answers. Not that I never really took a hard stance on UFOs or alien life forms.
01:17:49
Speaker
the past few years have given people who are skeptics a run for their money. Uh-huh. Sure. But what was your experience, what you think you saw at UFO? I'm totally gonna buy into whatever you tell me now. Totally. So, I mean, I don't know if, like, UFO's aliens are real or whatever, but, uh,
01:18:08
Speaker
They fucking could be and I wouldn't be surprised if they were sure that sounds like really goofy. But again, like, I'm pretty like hardcore in my stance of like the middle way. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, like,
01:18:24
Speaker
why literally why the fuck could there not be aliens sure you get to the science of it you break it down i get it like i get it but uh it's more fun and enjoyable for me um to just not really think about that too in depth
01:18:40
Speaker
It feels plausible at this point to me. Too many things lately. We're having deposition hearings in our fucking government about it. There's so much we do not know, man. And I'm not saying do not know in the sense of the government's hiding it from us. I'm just saying an understanding of our world. It's so fucking
01:19:01
Speaker
big and we're just so limited. But anyways, UFO Story, I was sleeping in the back of my truck in Badlands, crazy clear sky, absurdly clear, no lights for long ways.
01:19:18
Speaker
And I'm just looking up and I see starts with like three tiny lights, just look like lights. One starts here and another one starts over here and they just kind of shift back and forth like this.
01:19:35
Speaker
like super fast, you know, they just weren't, weren't, weren't, weren't, weren't, and then they'll stop and then another light appears really close. I think at the peak time there was probably five and they were just kind of just in straight lines going across like a small portion of the sky just weren't, weren't, weren't, weren't, weren't, and then they just like disappeared again and that was it.
01:19:56
Speaker
Hell yeah. And it was just like, I don't know what that was, but it was fucking cool. And like, that was it, you know? Let's be honest though, you were out there looking for a sign from God and you saw some shit and you didn't- This was before, so I mean- So you missed the first- They were making letters with their flashing? Yeah, oh dude, right? You spell it, like you're spelling it out one letter at a time, like Morse code, you're like, let's go Brandon.
01:20:24
Speaker
If it was drawn out, I'm sure it didn't look like Christ on the cross. Oh man, that is possible. That's a whole new angle that I have not thought about. What's sick though is you could have gone a totally different direction after that. It just so happens that a couple of days later, you were asking God to show himself. And then a couple of days before you... Depending on where you were headspace at the time, you could have seen that and started a cult immediately after.
01:20:52
Speaker
Dude, I think about starting a cult many times, like, multiple times a week. I'm just like, fuck, I could probably start a really banging cult, dude, you know? But I don't want to do that. I don't know how it's time for that. You're an entertaining angels out there. Yeah, right. That's a weird, weird world.
01:21:19
Speaker
Yeah, I'm here for aliens now, man. I'm definitely here for it more than I ever was. I just, I think I like to buy into things that are fun at this point too. You're just like, that's a good angle to come at it is like, you just have fun with it. Like obviously there's going to be some people that are taking it way too seriously.
01:21:39
Speaker
Um, but it's, you know, when, when everything goes to full blown collapse and I'd rather alien take over than like, you know, at least, you know, unify the world for a moment. Let us fight a common enemy. Something sick like that. Real, like real independence day kind of nonsense, you know, versus like the long. Yeah. Uh,
01:22:03
Speaker
but dude so uh you've been on this crazy uh also work journey of uh finding your space in the screen printing world and you've had the craziest fucking opportunities lately um and it kind of just as far as i know uh i'll i'll set it up and you run away with it but it's like
01:22:21
Speaker
Sure. You've always done
Screen Printing Innovations
01:22:23
Speaker
that a bit. You've got you printed a lot of the servants stuff. You know, you kind of had your foot in that door for quite a while. And then at some point, I don't remember exactly the time was probably shortly after or a little whatever you can explain the timeline. You end up moving to Pennsylvania and you just start like kind of running and gunning with this this idea of doing screen printing in a way that
01:22:50
Speaker
maybe other people aren't. I don't know anything about screen printing. So maybe just kind of explain where, what like dove you had first into it and what you felt like you wanted to do different than what some of the other people were doing.
01:23:02
Speaker
Yeah, totally. Yeah, so I've been screen printing man for like, probably over 10 years now, I got into it to make band merch, you know, like a lot of people do. And I printed on and off for, you know, those 10 years, 10, 12 years, 14 years, I don't even know, at least 12 years I've been screen printing. And so I would do it on and off between touring. I tried to do it, you know, full time myself as a business,
01:23:32
Speaker
Um, and that sucked. Uh, and so I printed out like a contract shop for a brief period of time. Uh, and that really sucked too, just printing like, you know, thousands of shirts of day for little league teams and family reunions and like shit like that. It's just like so frustrating. What are some of the worst family reunion shirts you printed? There's had, there's gotta be some of the worst shirts you ever printed that stand out. Oh man.
01:24:02
Speaker
I wish I had a good answer, dude. There honestly are not any that stood out. They were all just really generic. It was just a fucking duck or an apple tree or some shit with just the Johnson family. It was just that. There wasn't anything cool and creative. I wish there was.
01:24:29
Speaker
Um, yeah, so I did that for a while. Uh, just got totally burnt out. You know, I was doing it basically just so I could make money. Like that was my focus is like, I'm just going to screen print, um, so I could make money. Um, and I sucked at it, um, that way. And so I stopped and then I moved to Pittsburgh, um, after meeting my now wife. Um, and I brought the screen printing equipment that I had.
01:24:59
Speaker
Um, in the back of my truck, it just moved, you know, in the back of my truck. I didn't really have much stuff. Um, and decided like, okay, this is an opportunity for me to do printing in the way that I've always wanted to. So I started printing again in the front room of, uh, my apartment at the time. Just having fun with it. Um, just using a lot of like retro, like sci-fi graphics and stuff. Um,
01:25:27
Speaker
breaking some rules that I thought were definite in the printing process, learning from that, learning new techniques, just teaching myself stuff. What are some rules in the printing process that you fucked around with? I print only with water-based ink, which is a pretty specialized thing in the industry now.
01:25:51
Speaker
Most people print with plastisol, which is basically PVC that melts on the shirt. You can feel it. You feel that pla- I got even the flesh that I'm wearing right now. You feel that plasti-
01:26:02
Speaker
um yeah totally and so i was like okay i just want to just completely like fuck up a bunch of shirts and just print you know basically from top to bottom a whole bunch of different graphics a whole bunch of different colors all like water-based ink and see if it even works see if it looks shitty um and so i just did that i just basically just like lost my mind you know i'm like t-shirts we're just like
01:26:29
Speaker
graphics all over the place, all kinds of crazy different stuff, just seeing what I could get away. But stuff that if you did in a typical shop, you know, would get you fired, like your graphic goes, you know, front and center, or it goes, you know, down the sleeve, everything's registered perfectly. And I, you know, I was in the phase of like, you know, breaking out of rules kind of thing, you know, I was like, that was still part of
01:26:53
Speaker
my healing and learning process was kind of overcoming a lot of these religious barriers that had been imposed on me. And so taking that and putting it into my screen printing really helped grow it and put me in the position that I am today. After doing that kind of printing, I just did custom commission stuff for a couple months.
01:27:21
Speaker
But you did one for us? Yeah, I did some stuff for you guys. And then eventually I was able to get a studio spot, which I'm still in. And then I kind of got sucked into the trap again of like, oh, how much money can I make doing this? I need to pay my rent, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that just kind of came from like touring. You know, it's like you don't make fucking money in like a DIY touring hardcore band. Like it's not why you're doing it, you know?
01:27:51
Speaker
If you are, figure something else out. I got sucked into that trap for a few months and I caught myself and I was like, all right, I'm starting to not like what I'm doing again. That really sucks. I had set that boundary for myself and like, okay, I'm not going to continue to put myself in these positions of something that's unhealthy for me.
01:28:20
Speaker
which I had to learn through coming out of religion and stuff. Yeah.
Action T-Shirts and Personal Enjoyment
01:28:25
Speaker
And so I got to the point where I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna make something that I think is really fucking cool, that I want to do and that I want to have fun with. And that was the first action T, which was the Dr. Doom rip, and the idea of, you know, printing t shirts and packaging them like retro action figures. Yeah, it was just it was just like,
01:28:49
Speaker
I just want to make one of these for myself. This is just what I want to do. The intention was never, I can make tons of money or people are going to look. That was the last thing on my mind very deliberately. Of course, that's when I put it out there just to share to people.
01:29:10
Speaker
People loved it. It went over really well. I was like, all right, let's keep going with this.
01:29:20
Speaker
because you're having an awesome time and see what happens. And that's still where I'm at, you know? That's so sick, because that is a lot of times, those are the stories we always hear and internalize that are so much harder to do when you're like on the ground doing work, trying to figure out your life. You go, anyone who's given a TED talk, anyone whose story that's ever been told that you gave a single fuck about was like,
01:29:47
Speaker
it's always about just staying true to what you are into and that doesn't okay let's be clear that does not work out for everyone for like sure there's plenty of times that staying true to what you believe in does not go well for you and that's fine but it when you when it comes to business and shit like there's so many examples of like
01:30:06
Speaker
oh i can do this and make a bunch of money because i see that right in front of me or i can stay true to it i would say it makes more sense for art too you know because what you're doing is also it's an art form it's not just like i'm sure i'm printing little league shit on a t-shirt anymore you know and uh yeah i i mean the first time i saw like i i
01:30:27
Speaker
Obviously you did some shirts for us, but you did that show me the future shirt. And I feel like that was a precursor to action tease. Like it had that, that vibe, not quite the same like size, but it was like, you're drifting into that world. And I feel like it was like after that, that you went into the action tease thing and it's, it's fucking sick, dude. I mean, it stands out. So it's, I think the obvious thing about it resonating with people is,
01:30:56
Speaker
You know, you can just look at your Instagram follows that went from like, you know what, you're probably 1300 to over 20,000 in a pretty short period of time. Just because it's been a while, man. The action teeth, it resonated with people. Uh, and the qualities, I mean, that was literally, I mean, I've been buying t-shirts for a long time and I think that might be the first time that I've actually had like.
01:31:18
Speaker
a t-shirt where you go, this actually feels great. I'm not worried about it just cracking. In like two years, every band t-shirt I ever owned was just like all the art was cracked. It was all stretched out. It was like...
01:31:31
Speaker
It's a normal thing. That was my first introduction to anything done with a water-based paint. It's a different move. It's in the artistic style that you went for. It's really fucking cool. I appreciate that, man. It's cool. It's all been part of
01:31:54
Speaker
just this process of just like learning and like growing and being true to myself and like existing as much as I can in this middle way, you know, it's like I
01:32:08
Speaker
wanted to do something like retro, you know, comic retro, like action figure related, because that was something that brought me, you know, so much joy and fulfillment, you know, as a kid. And that period of time is so important to me because it's before all the crazy religious stuff happens, you know, like, I remember, like,
01:32:35
Speaker
being, like, content. Like, I didn't have those feelings of, you know, existential judgment. I didn't have those concerns of, am I doing God's will? It was just, I just had that freedom in my imagination and, you know, a couple pieces of plastic, you know, and some comic books that I got, you know, for free from the local shop that was closing down. And it just really
01:33:05
Speaker
it just made me happy. And so I went back to that. I was like, okay, well, it makes me happy. So I went back to that point in my life, and I took the skills that I learned through a decade of screen printing and design, and I just brought it together. And I was just like, oh, yeah, this is cool. This works for me. And it's just really, really cool. And I'm just so thankful
01:33:30
Speaker
Um, that other people are also able to connect with it in some way. It's just like, uh, it just brings it to like a whole other level. Um, that was never my like intention to begin with. Um, and so I'm just like super thankful and it's just cool.
01:33:48
Speaker
um just feeling as though that I have uh like a a future in this you know that I'm seeing like growth happen naturally and that people really dope people are approaching me and I'm able to work with some really like cool people and like it's just it's just happening you know I'm not I'm not having to you know pray about it I'm not having to yeah you know
01:34:15
Speaker
ask God if this is the right move, you know, I'm not having to like, hold my breath until it's God's time, you know, like, I'm just, I'm just able to live in that peace and in that freedom of something that, you know, I created, you know, to an extent, like I created, obviously, there was a lot that is involved with that. But
Collaboration with Czarface
01:34:40
Speaker
yeah, like, it came from, it came from here, you know, it's just really, really, really cool.
01:34:46
Speaker
Yeah, it, it stood out enough. Uh, it got you a unbelievable opportunity to do a czar face collab. That was fucking incredible. That was cool, man. That was sick. Um, the.
01:35:00
Speaker
The artist, Lamar, who does all their album art and stuff, he saw one of my reels on Instagram or whatever. So he hit up Esoteric, Seamus, the main dude in Czarface. And then he talked to his managers. So their manager sent me an email, blah, blah, blah. And yeah, we worked things out. And that, at first for me, was terrifying.
01:35:29
Speaker
But then I like, you know, really thought about it. And, you know, kind of forced myself to like, again, like get real with myself, like really like, okay, examine like what I'm experiencing here. You know, what is just like anxiety based? What do I actually really want to come from this? And the hardest part, I think for me was like, you know, charging an amount that I knew I needed to charge because it's like,
01:35:55
Speaker
You know, you come from humble beginnings, especially in like DIY touring. Yeah. In like the religious aspect. It's always like, oh, you just like do it for free. You're just like stuff. And even like an artist too, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and so.
01:36:14
Speaker
I was able to like learn and grow from that. And the whole thing was just like super awesome. A lot of fun. The dudes in Sorry Face are dope. Seamus is really cool. And yeah, it's cool to have like a relationship with those guys. You know, even if it's just like a business relationship, it's cool to have that connection.
01:36:39
Speaker
and for
Artistic Integrity and Self-Worth
01:36:40
Speaker
the door to be open to work with them again. It's just really dope. It's just really dope. Your style is like, it was, I mean, to me as an outsider looking in, it was like, even Jesse and I, I messaged Jesse about it. It was like, I mean, there isn't really a more perfect matchup for when you look at their album art and the shirts that you were producing, it's a match made in Navendude. It fits you as well.
01:37:03
Speaker
Yeah, it was like, all right. Yeah, this just makes sense. Like, let's just do it, man, you know. And you get a single model where it's like, you know, you're one dude doing this shit and it's really good. And you just go. You you open the window for the pre-orders and then.
01:37:18
Speaker
Yeah, you know, you you're kind of like working within your means, right? You're not like you're not you're just one dude doing this over printing and then hoping it's sell. It's like, here's how it is, how much it is, how it costs. And people are all in. I mean, just for the idea for the quality, the work, the the collector's aspect of it, like it's it's sustainable, dude. I think you're on to something really special. And I think
01:37:41
Speaker
the growth that you've seen in a short period of time, especially since last time we talked, has been incredible and it proves the point, man, that you're fucking killing it. Yeah. It means a lot, man. It definitely means a lot. I've had to learn to be just really ruthless in my boundaries and my belief in myself. It would be so easy for me to
01:38:07
Speaker
Uh, you know, the, so many like DMS about, oh, reprint this t-shirt or, oh, print me this or like do this to me. Oh, you need to drop this again. And, you know, not that long ago, uh, I would break my back to make that happen, you know, and now it's like, no, like I'm not going to do that. You know what I mean? And it's, and it's just, uh, allowing yourself to, um, again, like recognize some of the unhealthy things that you may have.
01:38:36
Speaker
from the past that make it seem okay to push yourself beyond your means and allow yourself to learn new boundaries and have that confidence in what you're doing.
01:38:51
Speaker
Um, and once you get to that point, like it, uh, I've just noticed such like a huge shift in just things. Things are just so much easier, you know, like really allow yourself to, uh, get rid of yourself and are ruthless in setting boundaries on things that work for you. You know, like it, uh, I've just had to get really, really ruthless. Like I can't do that. You know, that's it.
01:39:17
Speaker
Like, and so that goes over and they're like screen printing like, like this is it, man. Like I'm the only person like printing this stuff. I'm not going to print you a thousand shirts. Uh, I'm not going to do any custom shirts for you because it's going to take me a week and I don't have the time to do that and it's not worth it for me. So obviously I'm nicer about it than that. But, uh, in setting those boundaries and being ruthless about it, it just leaves so much more space for, uh,
01:39:46
Speaker
things that work better for who you are as a person, you know, because so much less of your energy is going to, you know, just trying to make something work. And now you have like the energy to just exist. And that's, that's something that has been really cool in stepping away from like religion to is just being able to exist is enough.
01:40:13
Speaker
You know, like I feel like so much.
01:40:17
Speaker
of just who we are as people is downplayed in a religious setting, you know, because it's you're turned into, you know, like a vessel quite literally, that's the term is like, you're just like a vessel for God or for Jesus's love. And it's like, well, sure, fine. But like, then what's actually left, like, you're you're tossed back into the real world. And a lot of that doesn't work in like our reality, you know, like,
01:40:45
Speaker
You need more than that in a lot of ways. Yeah, there's
Creative Process and Future Projects
01:40:50
Speaker
like that. And there's a healthy, I would say there's a healthy and unhealthy direction you could take what I'm about to say, but the denial of self, right? I think there's a very healthy direction to take that in. I think that the way that that messaging gets communicated in Christianity,
01:41:05
Speaker
in american evangelical christianity is not often uh healthy at all i think there's something special about like trying to set parts of yourself aside uh for the for others um totally totally you kind of get into this like idea that you need to suffer uh unevenly and that that's the validation that's the proof that you're doing it right is like oh i'm actively miserable therefore
01:41:32
Speaker
that's the blessing and you know what I'll count all that as blessing and then you have to compare to Christ being crucified or Peter being hung upside down on a cross and you're like so unsettling like so unsettling but yeah you're exactly right man you're like exactly right so yeah man like action tease is really it's just it's just an extension of
01:41:58
Speaker
just like my, my journey and like where I'm at in life so far. And it's just really, really fucking cool. Like, I'm stoked about it. And I'm just so, so thankful to be able to do this and to have like the freedom to, you know, grow and like explore with it. Yeah.
01:42:20
Speaker
What, uh, has anybody like, cause like Czar face, that's a really cool. It's really cool to know that those people like saw your work and are familiar, you know, like, has there been any other people like that, that like followed you on Instagram or something where you're like, Oh man, so saw my stuff. Yeah, but I can't remember. Oh, that's bad.
01:42:48
Speaker
Uh, Lindsey Graham, George Bush, any artist illustrators. There was, man, it's awful. There was like some really cool artists that like I'm into, um, that followed me.
01:43:12
Speaker
There's a, you get a shirt behind you. You did this interesting, you made an interesting move with your last drop. It was, I was stoked when I first saw the art cause it's X-Men and I'm a big X-Men fan. That's the lane I've stayed in. I haven't seen a Marvel movie in 15 years, but I have, but X-Men was the world for me. And then you did something,
01:43:39
Speaker
Interesting where you were going for this like massive oversized art print. Yes And you I think you only printed on like extra larges, right? Yep, that's correct. I'm not an extra large. I'm like, I was like, okay, I'll pass I had people message me and they were like, they were like, I thought about like,
01:44:03
Speaker
gaining a bunch of weight so I could fit into that shirt. And I was like, listen man, like I get it. Yeah, so this, it's like my first mega size print and I went really hard. The print is massive and it literally like, you wouldn't be able to see a lot of the print if I did it on size medium shirts. It's like that big. And so like, I just like, it's just,
01:44:32
Speaker
I just like go hard super like all in with things and then I see how much it fucks up and then I learn from that and then I kind of like go back and refine my process from there.
01:44:48
Speaker
So thankfully, like this first time doing like a mega print, like it went awesome. Like there are definitely some things I had to learn and like tweak as I went. But for the most part, I went like really sick. And so I'm stoked about that. And that's something that I've been working towards for like years to be able to print like this size, like the screens are massive. They're like, you know, three and a half, four feet tall.
01:45:12
Speaker
And so yeah, now it's kind of like, okay, going back and it's like tweaking things to now make it work for smaller shirt sizes. Um, uh, make it a little more like efficient, uh, stuff like that. But yeah, uh, I'm really stoked on like this last drop. Um, it was really cool stuff for me. And I think they came out.
01:45:34
Speaker
pretty cool. Well, I'll be keeping my eyes open for that next X-Men drop. I'll make a suggestion. I'm just going to throw it out there just and it can dissipate. And I know you get suggestions all the time, but yes, Bishop would be sick with his blasters going hard. You know, just that's our cable. I was always, I always thought cable was a dope ass X-Men too. Well, he's a favorite character from X-Men.
01:45:59
Speaker
Love that character, dude. People love it. Yep. So just a couple of thoughts. I'll leave you with that. Hell yeah. You're the professional who's making a name for themselves in the biz. I have to plan stuff months out now. It must be tough to settle on a design. When you're doing them so limited and you're doing the pre-orders, to settle on the design must be a challenge. Yeah. I come at it in a very...
01:46:30
Speaker
I don't know, it may be different than most people, but I never know what I'm going to print next until I see something that inspires me and then I'm like, okay, that's it. And then I just stay obsessed with that idea until I see it through to the end. So I have the next.
01:46:49
Speaker
two drops plans. But after that, I have no idea whatsoever. Like, it's, you know, like, I don't ever like pick something because, you know, oh, I think that looks cool. Or because I call people love this character, or because Oh, this is trending right now. It's literally just kind of like,
01:47:10
Speaker
I have to see something and it has to inspire me enough to want to spend the hours putting into it to make it work. All I heard was that you just asked me to DM you cool pictures of Bishop relentlessly until you go. That's the one. Go for it. Go for it.
Closing Thoughts and Gratitude
01:47:31
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, so my lane like right now is
01:47:37
Speaker
I want to do some original stuff. I think that's going to be the next drop. Nice. I've just been brainstorming on a couple of different characters and stuff like that, working with a couple of different comic artists. So I'm going to have some fun with that. And then after that, I have another retro character, which I'm not going to say who it is, but it's going to be crazy. And then I have no fucking idea. And I like it that way.
01:48:06
Speaker
That's sick, dude. Well, dude, honestly, huge congratulations to what this has been for you. I love it. I totally deserves to be where it's at and to keep doing, uh, keep this momentum going. Cause it stands out. It's spectacular. I, you just, I don't know. I think to whatever quantity that you can physically handle, uh, there will be orders for you. You're just, they stand out that much. Um, and, uh,
01:48:32
Speaker
It's been super dope catching up again, man. If this recording, if the, if the recording somehow doesn't work out again, then I'm going to just quit the podcast in general. Cause that just doesn't seem. Yeah. The, the, the, the future of this podcast depends on this one working out. So
01:48:54
Speaker
Heck yeah, man. It was great catching up with you and catching up with both of you guys. Yeah, it was awesome, man. It's not always the most comfortable just talking about myself and my life, but it's super comfortable with you guys, so I'm really thankful. Sick. Hopefully, I don't know. I don't know how often you make it up this way. I know we've had those back and forths before, but
01:49:20
Speaker
Yeah. If you find, I know a lot of times if people are traveling back to their home areas, they have a limited time and they need to see family and shit, but just keep me posted, man. If you're around here, I'll make an effort out to come out your way. Hell yeah, absolutely, man. I'll let you know whenever I'm up there again. Sick. Where can people find you? You're mostly Instagram, right? Yeah, pretty much mostly on Instagram. My name is just Zach.
01:49:50
Speaker
Meryl. We are ILL with the under dash. Cool. Two R's, two L's. Yeah, two R's, two L's. All right. Well, thanks everybody for listening and we will see you next time.