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#13 - SOLOOO 2 : I quit my job
58 Plays1 month ago
Checking in for the season and giving some big life updates. Talking about taking a career break, about community, and the everyday that makes up most of your life. And some of the usual BS. Cheers
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Transcript
Unrequited Feelings and Podcast Updates
00:00:00
Speaker
I like her. I don't think she likes you. She keeps saying we're the same. She called you her bestie. Was he here in the specific scenario? It looks like she's flirting with me. Her friend said she's not into you. Maybe she'll see the light. I mean, her chemistry is so good. We know how that ended last time. She's so pretty though. Bruh. Maybe if I just worked out more. Bruh. Bruh.
00:00:16
Speaker
Bruh. Bruh atta so needs too
00:00:42
Speaker
Hey, what's up guys? Happy December. i know I haven't put anything out in a while. Neither of us have here or me. And honestly, I didn't think I put anything out until next summer. i know I hear has been working on something big for you guys. And so stay tuned for that. I'm really excited to see his finished product. He's put he's put in a lot of work and yeah,
Personal Growth and Self-Discovery Journey
00:01:03
Speaker
it'll be good.
00:01:03
Speaker
The last time I put out a solo episode, and this is before we did the one with Volante, I was in the bay. I was still recovering from my knee injury. And during that time, i kind of had a big, slow-burning realization that I needed a change in my life. And so, and i'll I'll talk about this more in detail later, but i ended up quitting my job, came back to New York, been traveling, I've been DJing, I've been making a lot of new friends, really some really cool people, by the way. And yeah, so I honestly thought I was going to not release anything until next season, which we're planning to do next summer. But I realized like it would be fun to check in and and give you guys an update and talk about some cool things and kind of keep this going. You know, like even if it's not as frequent as I would like, you know, it's still something. It's still you guys seem to enjoy it. I enjoy it. So why not just do it? Maybe both of us can learn something through that. now You know, like did like this
00:02:05
Speaker
Like that's one thing I'll say, which is like this stuff that i do recording this episode and and everything, preparing for it is not just for you. Like it really helps me also put everything down and connect with myself because to connect with you, i have to connect with myself.
00:02:21
Speaker
And That brings about a lot of cool realizations for me and helps me kind of get unstuck and and keeps me moving forward. And and for for me, it's also cool, like the differences in the things that I talk about, how I talk about them and the things that I care about and the things that are on my
Entertainment Reflections and Humorous Anecdotes
00:02:39
Speaker
mind.
00:02:39
Speaker
So anyways, I just flew back from India for Rishabh's wedding and I'm jet lagged. I am watching a lot of TV. I just finished watching... I'm like caught up on Stranger Things, which is, I don't know why. it's funny. Like there are a lot of Stranger Things posters in India, in Mumbai specifically. A lot of marketing that they've done. i remember one of my friends kept getting pissed off and he's like, this isn't even a good show. Like maybe the first season was good. You know, I don't know why I like the show. Like it maybe maybe you know what it is. I think it's because it was one of the first Netflix shows that really got it popping and like kind of had this weird retro iconic nature to it. Like if that show was released now with the same story, with the same the exact same show, like if it was released now, I don't think it would do that well. But, you know, there's a time and a place and and there's a lot of things that factor into a show becoming popular or not. You could make a good show and the world may not be ready for it.
00:03:38
Speaker
You can make a bad, an okay show, a pretty decent show, nothing like groundbreaking, a pretty decent show, but maybe it's the right time for something like that. Maybe it feels fresh, you know, that's worth something. And I think that's what really got them popping. But yeah, I finished that. I finished a show called Family Man.
00:03:53
Speaker
I don't even want to talk about that. I think decent show. Good. Yeah. I don't even want to get into that one. But yeah, so I'm back. I i was walking yesterday and I've heard these girls who were talking behind me and they were talking about this guy named Tyler. And one of the girls goes... Oh, Tyler is a door-to-door salesman. That's so embarrassing. Like, one, like, how do you afford to stay in Huntington Beach? And two, like, what? Like, that's just so embarrassing.
00:04:19
Speaker
It was funny. it was It was just funny. I have nothing to add there. i could be like, yeah, oh this is why women, you know... No, not going to that.
Social Media Habits and Lifestyle Changes
00:04:28
Speaker
What I will say, what I will talk about is I was just on LinkedIn and I don't know why I go on LinkedIn as an unemployed person who is not even looking for a job yet. I guess it's like a reflex behavior. If I'm on my laptop, I want to take like a tiny break. Like if I'm, if I'm bored with what I'm doing, like if I'm like writing something and I just want a break, I'll like instinctively type LinkedIn or Instagram with my fingers on the browser. I don't know if anyone else does this. It's such a dumb baseline behavior that needs to be studied. But anyways, I was on LinkedIn and and i I saw this post about these like tech people in San Francisco and they're like hiking in the Redwoods or something. And and the post goes like, oh, like...
00:05:11
Speaker
It's such a, you know, it's so cool being an SF and and and working on all these cool solutions. but You know, you forget to take care of yourself sometimes. So it's good to step away and take the day off. And maybe, you know, the thing that you're stuck on, like you'll figure it out or like you'll be able to approach it with a new light once you step away and come back to it. And I was like, that's that's so insightful, Annie. Like that's, so you figured it out. You figured out the missing, the secret.
00:05:40
Speaker
San Francisco is never going to be the same now. She discovered taking a break. Yeah, and that's why I can't move to SF. Anyway, speaking of taking a break, I've been trying to take a break from social media. It's like not possible to cut it off entirely just because I feel like that's how people connect. in this modern world, like people don't even ask for phone numbers. They just want each other's Instagrams. And like, if I'm traveling and trying to connect with people and maintain relationships, like it's important. And you know, I also like posting every now and then and kind of sharing bits and pieces of my life.
00:06:12
Speaker
And also like I do want to know what my friends are up to and so it's a very useful tool but they have so much other shit like all those reels are useless like if there was a version of instagram where i could only see my friends stuff like a real less instagram that would be great i would get on that reels are are fun though i i do do enjoy scrolling i do have a very good algorithm that knows me very well in my taste And, you know, it keeps me locked in. But so this middle ground that I found is this app called Opal, which is like, you know, one of those like screen limiting apps. But on Opal, what I found I could do is, first of all, the UI is way cleaner. The way it like locks things and like won't let you unlock it unless you like you do something, you wage a certain amount of time is really nice. and And you can like set it up so that it's like really hard for you to unlock something. so you to be very intentional. But the reason I like Opal is because it's not like a time limit.
00:07:10
Speaker
Because I think the time limit is like a weird, clunky solution. Because like you can just use it up in like one go without even realizing. And then you're like, well, this is stupid. What if I just want to check something, right? Anyway, so what I do on Opal is i set it I've set it up so that I can only open the app, like the Instagram app, a certain amount of times in the day. So right now I have set it to five times. So I can only open it for five times throughout the whole day. And once I open it, it remains unlocked for like 15 minutes.
00:07:41
Speaker
um And I just that has been so useful to me because now like I won't open it like in between sets at the gym or like just randomly like waking up first thing in the morning, you know, like or like when just first thing when I sit down, like it's always OK. I want to go on Instagram because I want to go on Instagram. Not because it's like a learned behavior and I'm just like automatically doing it without thinking about it.
00:08:04
Speaker
And that, I think that has been really cool. So I highly recommend it. I know some people like the one where they, you just, it just bricks your phone. So like during the work time, you can just like pull this card and like brick your phone so that you can't access anything, anything like social media or whatever it might be for you. And then you unlock it once you're done.
00:08:22
Speaker
I don't like that personally because it's like ah I feel like binging is bad, which is I think it's like a proven thing that binging any kind of addiction, ah like periods of abstaining and binging are actually bad and feed into the addiction instead of weeding you off of it. But I also know some people have ADHD. And so for them, it's like more useful, I think. I don't know. I don't know. Y'all can correct me if I'm wrong, but that's just what I've been hearing from my friends. But yeah, anyways, I guess that's enough of an intro.
00:08:51
Speaker
I did mention to you guys on Instagram that I'm going to record this episode and I got some pretty cool questions from you guys. Basically the big ones is about the career break. How's it going? What am I excited about learning? And we'll get to the other ones, but okay, I'll talk about it. I think so when I was in the Bay recovering from my knee injury, I, there's just this voice inside me. That was slowly getting louder and louder. It was just really asking me why I'm still working at this job that I have.
00:09:19
Speaker
Not because the job is bad or like anything like that. I just think I just needed something different. Like when I was younger, i had this vision, you know working really hard, climbing the corporate ladder, making a bunch of money, providing for everyone in my life, and then hopefully sitting down and figuring out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. And, you know, that kind of slowly fell apart because I was slowly realizing, like, wait a second, this feels like a scam. Like I am I'm living my life today and I need to be at peace with the way I'm living my life. Like I need to have a good day every day. I need to feel fulfilled in some way.
00:09:55
Speaker
I need to feel like what I'm doing matters to me. And I need to really just unplug. I think unplug is a good word because when you're in that mindset, it feels like being plugged into the matrix and this like capitalist matrix where you're just working your butt off to provide value and to create value and optimize and make a bunch of money and help the human race move forward or at least that's what you tell yourself and by the way like i'm not saying the capitalist incentive structure is completely terrible like we have gotten a lot of good things out of it that you know trickle down for everyone but whether you're agree with it or not, it's important to realize why you're doing something and the context of why your surroundings are the way they are and and the people around you care about the things that they do.
00:10:42
Speaker
You know, it's a choice. It's a doctrine. It's a way of life. And it's important to recognize that and choose to participate in it instead of feeling like you have to and and that you have no other option.
00:10:53
Speaker
Because there are many valid ways to live your life, right? Otherwise, it just becomes like a weird prison where you're just stuck in the same rut as everyone else. But anyways, anyways, I digress.
00:11:05
Speaker
I was stuck in a rut. And so, and my, the work wasn't bad. It was pretty good, actually. i was growing. i was learning. i was, you know, a lot of good things. But it just, I think it just wasn't serving me anywhere. I needed some space to untangle myself. And then what I decided was I wanted to take a break.
00:11:22
Speaker
I want to go into it without a plan and really untangle myself from all my internal pressures and expectations and everything and just breathe and actually sit down and explore other things and kind of let life guide me, you know, as it's happening. And, you know, if I, if I go back to software, which, you know, is probably the practical, realistic option, uh, that I will go back to it, let it be on my own terms. You know, like I want to i was good at it, but I kind of I never loved it. Like it was it was just something I had to do.
00:11:55
Speaker
And so if I go back to it, I want to do it because I
Artistic Pursuits and Cultural Pressures
00:11:59
Speaker
like it. So, yeah. and And outside of that, like, you know, there was deep down at my core, I had this just feeling that, you know, i'm I'm an artist and, you know, I've been able to kind of develop that a little bit.
00:12:10
Speaker
over the last couple of years and and just the opportunity to kind of tinker with that and play with it a little bit. I'm not saying that I'm going to like quit to pursue music or something like that, but just a space to develop a better base groundwork would be big for me, just for my personal satisfaction.
00:12:27
Speaker
And you know, when you asked me if it was scary to make this decision, it was scary. It was mad scary. I had to really sit down and map out my finances and like really be at peace with all of it. And know, there's some moments in your life where you really feel that the decision you make next is really going to set the tone for the rest of your life. And that's what this felt like. And, you know, it takes an incredible amount of courage and privilege to be able to take that leap into something unknown. There's a thing about privilege, though. It's like, if you have it, you should use it. That's what I think. Like, I mean, and I mean the kind of privilege where it's not like hurting someone else, obviously, but. You know, your parents worked hard to get you the privileges that you have in your life. And sometimes it gets lost, like the value of that gets lost. And sometimes they might go like, oh, I struggled and I don't I didn't complain. Like, how are you complaining? And some people get, you know, they start feeling really guilty about using privilege that they have. And so they don't do anything with it. And that's not the point. Right. It's like we're not on this planet to slave away and be like productivity monkeys creating value for our bosses. Like we're here to experience life and everything that comes with including the hard work and everything.
00:13:40
Speaker
But we're here to experience our world and our bodies, our emotions. We're here to like connect and help each other feel and to be lost in the pursuit of something that we love and derive meaning from. Like that's what I feel.
00:13:52
Speaker
And and I know that's not always possible to just purely do that. In fact, for most people, it's not possible. So maybe you do have to get, you know, just like a job, you know, provides you with some stability and and resources so that you can do some of these other things. But if you're just staying numb and in the same cycles of stress and release.
00:14:11
Speaker
it's It's like you're not helping anyone. You deal with all the stress and oppression and stuff at work and then you release with whatever, you know, with like drinking, with drugs, porn, with one night stands, you know, it that release takes many forms and turns into this like kind of maladaptive behavior to help cope with all the with why you feel so so much dissonance in your body. And so, yeah, I mean, that's why I took the break. And, you know, I had some role models in my life, a couple of people who took a break and kind of took that leap and showed a lot of courage. And very thankful for having those people. I also met a lot of people in traveling. So while i was in Costa Rica, like I... Met so many people taking gap years, like these 18, 19 year olds, 20 year olds. They're like taking gap years between, you know, high school and college, between between their first year and second year. And just going off into the world, exploring other cultures, like immersing themselves with other cultures, working at, you know, wildlife sanctuaries, at hostels, at restaurants, like really connecting with the world a little bit. And I just thought that was so beautiful. Like in the U.S. And this is my experience. i don't want to speak for everyone, but it just feels like this race to like, as soon as you're in high school, it's like this race to like achieve the most amount of things at the youngest age possible.
00:15:36
Speaker
And that's like, that's the only way to bring pride or to to make your life worth it. And i just... And I think like if I if I had if I had wanted to take gap year at any point, like between high school and college or between, you know, first and second year, like I would have felt so guilty about it.
00:15:53
Speaker
I would have felt like a bum, like a worthless bum who didn't know what he wanted to do, just wasting his parents resources, like doing a disservice to society, to everyone, to everyone and every just a complete failure. i just wish like things were a little different.
00:16:10
Speaker
uh growing up but anyways we can't fix all that now can we uh and i think that's that's why that's why like it's so important to travel and meet other people and like not not do the traveling where you just stay in a resort on a beach and like do like this get like an all-inclusive package and drink ah all day like What I mean is like actually living in cities, in places where people live, where you meet people from other places, like real people from other places, not less like privileged people who are out of touch with reality and really understand how they live their life and listen to them and share your experiences and learn their experience and and all that stuff. But anyways, I digress again.
00:16:54
Speaker
um One of my friends started saying perchance a lot. So they'll just say like perchance to anything. Do you want to go out on Friday? Perchance. Do you think Mom Donnie is going to win the election? Oh, perchance.
00:17:07
Speaker
you can't You can't just say perchance.
00:17:12
Speaker
So, okay. So I took the break. How's it going? What am I excited about? So when I started the break, I basically had a blank slate and i intended on that. There was no plan. I knew I was going to chill for a little bit, travel for a little bit. I had also enrolled in some like group music classes to just to give a little bit of structure and and really learn music from the ground up, like really beginner stuff. and everything else was optional. You know i had things that I was interested in. I started DJing.
00:17:39
Speaker
So a couple of you were asking about my DJing story. So the DJing happened because I was on a bachelor trip and one of my friends there knows how to DJ and he brought his set and he was DJing and it was a really good time.
00:17:55
Speaker
And he kind of showed me the ropes a little bit and I was just instantly hooked. I had always had like an inclination that I would have a lot of fun DJing. Like it was always something that I'd wanted to do, but never really got around to it because it just felt so complicated. But I was hooked and I just had so much fun doing it. And so what I did when I came back to New York was i threw two parties where I DJed and a friend of mine DJed. So we kind of like DJed together.
00:18:24
Speaker
So Sachin and I DJed together and we invited a bunch of people and we just had a blast. Like it was so much fun. The first party we threw, we got actually got rolled. Like the police called.
00:18:37
Speaker
And so it was really iconic and and really, really fun. And is perfect and so from that actually from that party one of our friends asked us to dj her birthday party which was at a club and so we did that and then one of one of my other friends asked me to do uh their rooftop party their end of summer rooftop party so i did that and then i was going to go to joshua tree with for another friend's birthday and she asked me to dj there and that so i did that as well and so that that's just been it's been a lot of fun there's no plan
00:19:08
Speaker
Really? I've just been saying yes to whoever asked me and seeing where it goes, you know, like, would it be fun to play at Tomorrowland one day? You know? Yeah, sure. Why not?
00:19:18
Speaker
But, you know, we're keeping things small right now. So DJing. And I also had this injury that I was still recovering from and I still am actually. And so just working on that health, wellness, those were some like kind of goals. So anyways, immediately after I quit, I went to Europe for two weeks.
00:19:35
Speaker
That was super fun. Berlin was great. Good, good food, good clubs, you know, good techno, hi good people. Really cool city. It honestly, it reminded me of New York. It just it felt so open and easy to be there and a big like counterculture. So very inclusive, very welcoming.
00:19:55
Speaker
I also went to the Holocaust Museum in Berlin and that was that was something. The Holocaust Memorial. Sorry, not the museum. that was That was really sobering, but but very cool piece of history to be close to.
00:20:10
Speaker
So yeah, I recommend doing that and and going to the city overall. Just really, really good time. And then I went to Madrid. Madrid was beautiful, but I did not like Madrid very much. It was too much city and too too many tourists, too many Americans. It was too much. It was just all too much. It didn't feel very cultural.
00:20:30
Speaker
It just felt like an outdoor mall. And then I went to the Azores from there, um specifically the island of São Miguel. And the Azores is breathtaking. It is so, so insanely beautiful. It's like a volcanic island in the middle of, or I should say chain of islands in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, like between Portugal and New York, but obviously closer to Portugal.
00:20:54
Speaker
And so it's got a lot of endemic features. Also a lot of stuff that's imported. but just really cool, not as tropical as Hawaii, but definitely that vibe. So yeah, I kind of, i used the trip as a way to mark something new because I know I would have been way too antsy and confused right after quitting about like what to do with my time.
00:21:15
Speaker
In hindsight, it would have been nice to just chill as well. But I don't know, I don't regret it, but I think next time I would do it, if I were to do something like this, I wouldn't go on a trip immediately, I'd just chill.
00:21:27
Speaker
So anyways, I come back and started chilling and started and really started my unemployment. So the DJing kicked off the DJing. I kind of mentioned that.
Balancing Expectations and Enjoying Life
00:21:36
Speaker
So now here's the thing that I realized when I quit and I started working on these things. I felt so much self-inflicted pressure to make progress on all these different things.
00:21:47
Speaker
Like I had to make sure i was using this time wisely because I may never get this opportunity again. I'm never going to be this young again. And it's going to get even harder to balance all these things once I start recruiting and get another job. So I fell into a productivity trap like morning, wake up, stretch, gym or running. Then I got to make some progress on the DJing. I got to play around in Ableton. I got to practice piano. I got to enjoy myself. I have AMC A-list. I got to go watch a movie. I got to go get a cool lunch special in the city because that's what the city is known for. it Like, that's what you do.
00:22:18
Speaker
I got to go cook and clean. I got explore the new neighborhood. Like, it was all too overwhelming. And I kept getting frustrated because my expectations were so, so high.
00:22:30
Speaker
And so I just really had to sit down and examine what was at the root of all this. And it turns out I just have crazy goals. Like, oh, I want to be a famous DJ. Oh, I want to make music.
00:22:42
Speaker
Oh, I want my podcast to become big. I want to become super lean. I want to like, you know, in really, really good physical shape. I want to meet a bunch of cool people and build those relationships. And it was all just stressing me out. So I really had to like challenge some of these ideas. Like this is a lot to do at the same time. It's not reasonable.
00:23:01
Speaker
Like you should get maybe good at one or two things. at a time so i said fuck this and i started painting and yes i had another hobby but no i started painting and that was really a nice way for me to just be lost in the sauce a little bit with something i had no expectations for especially because i i would never call myself a painter because i am so atrocious at some of these things but yeah i The reason I want to make art is because it's an outlet for my emotions. Obviously, to make, become good at anything, it requires work. But the goal of all this, of the break, is to reset mentally, become in tune with myself, and really understand how I can live my life such that I don't get frustrated with
00:23:49
Speaker
my own expectations and goals, you know, like, so I figure out how to stop getting in my own way. And so I've been working on letting some of these things go. If I'm DJing, I'm doing it because I want to perform for people and take people through a musical journey.
00:24:01
Speaker
You know, like if I'm working out, I'm doing it because it feels good to work out. The goal of this break is to learn how to breathe. you know how to build a healthy relationship with my hobbies and and the way that i live my life like this is the foundation everything else is built on top of so you know that that's what i'm doing right now and as you can imagine it's not all roses like it's a lot of trial and error to create balance and flow so that i like I don't feel like a machine and really like internalize that you know sometimes it's enough to just breathe. like That's okay.
00:24:35
Speaker
And you know just in general, I've just had so much more space to do a lot of this untangling work. There's another maladaptive thing, which you know a lot of people struggle with, but don't really talk about it all, is which is porn.
00:24:47
Speaker
And I want to do a whole episode on that at some point because that that's been such a huge journey. But yeah, like, like porn is a very insanely powerful drug. It actually generates a higher dopamine kick than cocaine. So like understanding that and educating yourself on like kind of the biological neurological impact on your brain is its own thing. But there's this whole other like behavioral aspect of it, which is how easy it is to turn turn it into like a coke for stress or loneliness.
00:25:18
Speaker
for really any negative feeling because it just it's so good at like short-circuiting your whole system so that you don't feel what you're feeling at least for a little bit and so over the last few years i've really been examining that like dialing it down and i actually quit of like four, five months ago. and And that's been its own journey as well. And that that requires work. It's not easy.
00:25:44
Speaker
It requires work. Yeah, I mean, I've been really putting off talking about that. Like, obviously, it's there's a reason why nobody ever really talks about it. But so many, so many people struggle with it.
00:25:57
Speaker
Anyways, let me know if you guys, if you if you you think we should do an episode on that. We'll we'll do that. We'll do that. I think... As weird as it feels, i think so many people would benefit.
00:26:11
Speaker
So Saiz asked me, how does learning a new skill like guitar, for example, feel now versus 10 years ago? It feels so different. Like I used to be so hyper fixated on the results. I had no patience. I just wanted to take the shortcut to learn the most in the least amount of time possible, be able to show the results and just move on to the next thing. And it really prevented me from falling in love with anything. Now is entirely different. I have so much patience and and letting big expectations makes such a big difference.
00:26:43
Speaker
have I have space to just enjoy the process. like It's not about the results. It's about the process. And just having fun, like playing the piano or, you know, making something, painting, whatever. That's just made a huge, huge difference. And I'm not going to expand on that more because I feel like i already talked about it.
00:27:05
Speaker
So I've got some other questions here. OK, some questions about making friends, how to make friends with people in mid, late 20s, that kind of thing. So I feel like, i mean, I'm not an expert on any of these things, but I've made a lot of friends by putting myself out there, like on those apps, like, like two to two, for example, going to parties and meeting people, activities like sports leagues, you know, like soccer, basketball, pickleball, whatever.
00:27:33
Speaker
you know, to really make like close friends in a place like New York is kind of hard. Surprisingly, people generally seem to have one foot out the door. You know, they always have a million plans. It's really hard to make like a cohesive group of people.
00:27:47
Speaker
I think the one thing I've realized is the one-on-one time is really important to build any relationship,
Community Connections and Future Plans
00:27:53
Speaker
to understand the person, to be able to get a little vulnerable and find some common ground and really ah really understand each other, you know? That really comes from the one-on-one time.
00:28:03
Speaker
So try to try to get as much of that as you can. And, you know, also just like let go of expectations. You know, like not everyone you meet that you think is cool is going to be open to that and then reciprocate. You could show initiative, you could be a cool person, but still not have anything come of it.
00:28:21
Speaker
Like if someone doesn't reciprocate, then it does not mean that you got played or the experience wasn't worth anything or anything like that. But yeah, I'd say I have a good amount of friends. I wouldn't say I think the people that get to know me generally like me, but I don't really come off as like a crazy, charismatic person that people instantaneously fall in love with.
00:28:42
Speaker
Finding common interests. And obviously, if you connect well, like I'm kind of class, you know, or or some kind of sport thing, then you're going to find that shared interest.
00:28:53
Speaker
I will say, like in New York, there's a community for pretty much anything. I found like a fencing community that fences every Tuesday and Thursday. So yeah, I i don't know why brought that up. It just felt pretty random.
00:29:05
Speaker
Like if there's a community for that, I'm sure there's a community for pretty much anything. I will say i was just in Goa with a friend of mine and Goa is really nice. Goa is beautiful, it's slower, good food, good people. It's inviting, especially the area that was staying in Bunjim, which is kind of the main big city of Goa. I could feel a sense of community because I'd gone with a friend of mine who had stayed there for a couple of years and so she introduced me to some of her friends and those friends introduced me to some of their friends and so it was it just felt like it was a mix of people like people who grew up there people who moved but still i could feel this like sense of community that i hadn't really felt here in new york like people are throwing community events i know people do this here too but like coffee shops someone is hosting like cooking classes
00:29:57
Speaker
where people learn, they cook, and then they have spaces for like movies, like movie nights and stuff like that. And I just think it was really cool, the way people interact with each other and how like warm they are. You're part of the family now, you know which just feels different than here. it really it feels Here it feels like, in New York, it it definitely does feel like like there are these events, but you almost have to like prove yourself. you know Like, oh, I'm a cool person.
00:30:22
Speaker
who is worth including in your group versus you know your existence is valuable and is enough to grant membership in our crew which is an entirely different feeling another question approach a room full of people you don't know yeah that one's a tough one i feel like i'm not good at that at all i would probably get stressed out But I would go. Something I've noticed is a great way to make start conversations and make friends is to just compliment people. So could walk in and just like comment on someone's jacket store there choose or shoes or whatever feature of them that stands out and like just try to start a conversation that way.
00:30:59
Speaker
you know run i think run through the basic stuff as quickly as possible i'd say that like oh where do you live where do you work all that stuff like talk about something else something interesting go from the jacket to where you where they got it uh I don't know, just try to cry try to like connect on something that's not the usual small talk chit chat. Whenever I've had that kind of conversation, it's gone in a more interesting direction for sure.
00:31:28
Speaker
But again, like i don't I don't know, this question is not really for me. I don't really have a great answer. How do I approach a room full of people that I don't like? Okay, ah this one's funny. I mean, like, if you're going into a room full of people that you actually don't like, not just that you think you might not like, or you maybe you don't like one or two people, like, You actually know for sure that you don't like any of these people and you're not going to like this experience. Then don't go. Like why, why go? That's one thing that I've been realizing, like your time and your energy are valuable. If there's a situation like that, where you're going to an event with people that you don't like, and you're going anyways, really examine what it is that's pushing you to go there, right? Like, is it FOMO? Is it loneliness? Is it judgment? Is it like, oh, you want to fit in? Because you could totally construct a nice alternative night for yourself that serves you more. And, you know, if the goal is to be with people, then
00:32:29
Speaker
you would probably have a better time going to an event where you don't know anyone, you know, because at least that leaves things up to chance. Like, I think that's the time to kind of hop on to like a 2-2-2 dinner, for example.
00:32:41
Speaker
So reflections and what's next, right? That seems to be kind of the theme with the rest of the questions. We'll start with what's next, right? So in terms of what's next, I still have a little bit of traveling left before I come back in January.
00:32:56
Speaker
And, you know, I think at that point, I'm going to start really thinking about what is it that I want to do next career wise and, know, kind of start making progress in that direction while it's also like, you know, doing some of these other things because that, that process is going to take some time anyways. So that's next. In terms of DJing, there's a couple things coming up. I'd like to, know, we've been talking about this for a long time, but we want to throw coffee right in collaboration with AVG Coffee. And we that would be fun to do. So we need to figure that out.
00:33:26
Speaker
We also want to throw a Valentine's rave. Really have people come in and DJ and kind of kind of kind of do like a more showcase-y type event where a bunch of DJs get like 30 minute hour slots or something like that. Like that would be really fun. By the way, if any of you know how to get like a cool venue in the city that's not crazy expensive, like obviously we can charge people for it, but like, I don't know, economically friendly, I guess. Please let me know because I don't know how to do that or where to where to look really.
00:33:53
Speaker
So yeah, that's coming up as well. Podcast wise, I think I might try to like just keep giving some up solo updates because i don't think I have the bandwidth to put together like collaborations and like really well thought out stuff right now. But I will i would like to continue like this until until that happens, which probably won't be until next summer.
00:34:14
Speaker
so But stay tight on that. We have some really cool ideas and some really cool people that we want to bring on. So it will be fun once it comes. It might just take some time. Yeah. In terms of reflections, I mean, i think the big reflection is like the way you approach life really matters. Like how you do your day to day stuff really matters. And I was surprised how much that was still getting in the way and how much I still needed to work through to like be in a better state. But I'm glad of kind of doing that. It really feels like I'm just laying train tracks down right now. Just groundwork.
00:34:49
Speaker
So anyway, I think that's we'll keep this one short. I think that's all I have. There is one more question, which is if you had to give your life right now a book title, what would it be?
00:35:02
Speaker
That's I don't really have a good answer to that right now. uh i'll think about it but i will say a while ago i had this idea for a t-shirt just like and you know like a nice oversized uh high quality thick t-shirt um and it just says like oh i'm in transit i just thought that was a cool idea maybe we'll start making a line of t-shirts I'll add on another side hustle.
00:35:30
Speaker
I just got this humidifier. I've been running like a portable heater and the humidifier at the same time. And the room feels so nice because it's really, it's really cold right now in New York. It's like a freezer. It's like walking into the Costco section freezer as a kid to pick up your like eggs and milk and stuff.
00:35:51
Speaker
And it's, yeah, that's what it feels like. So yeah, stay safe guys. Stay warm. Peace out.