Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
#9 - Vivek Menon
59 Plays3 months ago
We're sitting down with Vivek, who's living that double life so many of us know—grinding as a solutions consultant while chasing his real passion as a writer, director, and producer.
Imposter syndrome, maintaining a stable career, legitimizing your art, and into the details of Vivek's very own projects.
Recommended
Transcript
Feeling Overwhelmed
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey, man. Hey, what's up, dude? Yo, you good? You seem kind of down. Ah, yeah, man. It's just, work's been a lot and just so much going on. I'm just, I'm tired.
00:00:12
Speaker
Shit, dude, i feel that. Do you want to talk about it? Nah, man, I'm fine. it's It's not that deep. I'll be fine. Like, nothing's going to change anyways. Yeah, hear you. But, like, how's everything else? Did you, oh, did you take that one girl from the party?
00:00:25
Speaker
Nah, man, I just, I haven't. I don't know. I just, yeah, I don't know. right, man, you got to open up a little bit. I mean, that's what friends are for, right? You can tell me anything. All right, man, sure.
00:00:39
Speaker
You got a mic? What? A mic, like a podcast mic and some headphones. A mic? Bro, what do you need a mic for? I feel like I just can't really open up and talk about my feelings unless I'm on a podcast, you know? Is that cool?
00:00:55
Speaker
I mean, yeah, I guess. Sure. One sec, let me let me find this.
Introducing Vivek and His Podcast Admiration
00:02:16
Speaker
So, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Locked in. You sound locked in today. i sound locked in. All right. not Not my usual aloof self that, you know. I'm very excited for today's episode.
00:02:29
Speaker
We have a very special guest today. There are many words to describe this man. He's kind. He's insightful. He's a writer. He's a director. He's a producer.
00:02:39
Speaker
I'm sure one day he'll be an actor. Maybe like Tarantino vibes. We'll see. oh and he's also a product manager at one of your favorite tech companies. and so That's just wrong also. but Are you not?
00:02:54
Speaker
This is funny because like you're not the only person to have made that mistake. And like a lot of people, I don't know why, but a lot of people have said that. like i'm So I'm a solution consultant.
00:03:07
Speaker
Well, you give that vibe. I don't know. I don't know what it is. that That sounds like an insult. I don't know. but Is it? It does. like But also consultant is just like one degree away anyway. Yeah, that's true. He's on the right track. That's true. That's true. Yeah, yeah.
00:03:23
Speaker
Well, my bad. He's a solutions consultant. Yeah, whatever that means. Yeah, whatever that means. Right. we'll We'll have to dig into that a little bit later. but anyways, welcome Vivek.
00:03:39
Speaker
Thank you for having me. i'm I'm a fan of the podcast, actually. I've listened to many episodes. um So it is very, very exciting for me to actually be on one the episodes um and and and chat with you guys.
00:03:54
Speaker
Which one's your favorite? This is a biased question. The easy answer is, i mean, i obviously, like, we like the breakups episodes. Like, those ones are just so real, hella real and raw.
00:04:06
Speaker
And I think that is also... very like brave of all of you and your guests to like talk about that stuff and record it and post it because it's very personal right and it's like a very like like now people will talk about like openly about their feelings and like are okay with just like posting that online which is like a very very commendable thing so i think that like um definitely the most the juiciest episodes but also like the most like oh wow like you know like you can actually listen to this and like ah reflect on yourself and like you know life in general and all those things so yeah I gotta see that one but it's hard to pick man there's too many good ones bro's compliment was that the episode was listenable
00:04:46
Speaker
yeah what that is a huge compliment because like podcasts are like you know something like it's i feel like it's hard i was talking this to ahir earlier like and it's hard to and they have a monthly this many times like it's it's hard to like make a podcast that people will sit and listen to for like over and like it's hard to make ah short film yeah people will watch for 10 minutes definitely let alone like like a podcast that people listen to for over an hour.
Challenges in Engaging Content Creation
00:05:10
Speaker
So if you can do that, which you have done, like that's huge. No, I appreciate you saying that.
00:05:14
Speaker
I feel like those episodes were honestly the most fun to record too. i And there was a lot of thought that went into them. We just started this one, you don't know yet. Yeah, yeah. My bad, you don't know yet. but Also not gonna lie, when you asked at first, like which one's your favorite, I thought you were asking which host is your favorite. And I was like, this is bullshit, bro.
00:05:34
Speaker
you I'm not winning this competition. No, dude, I hear put in work. we we we We met, you know, we chatted, we had deep conversations and all that. So, like, you know, he was really buying for that position of favorite host.
00:05:47
Speaker
And honestly, he's kind of up there right now. ah ki keyno He knows I'm not a product manager. That's one. How could I not know youre and as you were in SU, man?
00:05:58
Speaker
Did you actually remember that? Yeah, we had a whole conversation about his sweater because it said SU. Yeah, exactly. I see, I see, I see. I studied for this shit. You did, man. Yeah.
00:06:09
Speaker
I guess when you know someone too long, like you forget all the original details, you know? And then it's like, you don't talk about them. I think that just that just goes to show how many conversations we have not about work, which is also- Which is a good thing, right? It's a good thing. Yeah, it's a great thing.
00:06:23
Speaker
I feel you guys. What's your name again, bro?
00:06:28
Speaker
So how have you guys been? Let's start there. Obviously, like, well, you guys aren't here, but it's it's really beautiful here. 75 degrees. First 70 plus degree day of the year. Very excited for that.
00:06:40
Speaker
Momentous. i'm not going I'm not going to, you know. ah brag about that. I'll let you yeah please guys know. Please don't. always He says after he brags about it. Yeah, just brag about it first. So i um unfortunately so I'm not not unfortunately. i'm I'm recording this from home in the Bay Area currently, so I'm not in New York. I'm usually there.
Weather, Quiet, and Cultural Humour
00:06:59
Speaker
actually live like like three blocks away from David. So usually I'm there and I'm very, very jealous that he gets to enjoy the beautiful weather in New York, because I feel like in California, the weather's usually like, okay, it' it's, it's, so it's usually fine. But like when you're in New York and like what is usually shit and then like one day gets really nice, everyone goes outside. It's like, everything has changed. Like, you know, everyone's like mood is up. It's a Saturday also. So like,
00:07:27
Speaker
um everyone know is at the park uh at central park right now and i'm very jealous but i'm doing great i'm i'm chilling uh it's been a very nice quiet weekend so far it's been nice to get like a little break from yeah being this you for for a while and like have a lot of quiet uh and space and car you know to drive around and stuff but yeah it's been good i'm not gonna lie though these all sound like copes to me yeah Hey, hey, no, no, no. It is, it's very, it's it is very true. It is very true. i was looking forward to being at home. So, um mean, it's just me and my dog at home right now. So we've just been hanging out. And unfortunately, yeah, if you, he, he tends, he's sleeping nearby and he tends to snore really loudly sometimes. So like,
00:08:10
Speaker
uh he may it off the podcast but i will do my best to make sure he does welcome and interruption no problem yeah did you guys see the earthquake that happened in thailand myanmar oh yeah that shit was crazy crazy yeah that was insane there's so many like videos of like swimming pools at the top of yeah they had like all the water falling off wild yeah i wonder if anyone i mean okay i don't i don't know more of a thought but you know if you're in the infinity pool and then you're in a waterfall you know what i mean like you have no idea but it's fine i hope i hope that didn't happen to anyone i feel like it'd be kind of hard to for you to fall out of it but like like like imagine if you're like on a floaty right oh yeah you're like lying on the water yeah yeah at that point yeah yeah you might be you might be cooked yeah like
00:09:00
Speaker
I mean I saw like whole ass buildings like tilted over like this so I feel like even if you're inside. that video No laughing matter here. He says after he brings it up.
00:09:11
Speaker
You asshole. I wasn't laughing. Hey it's a ah coping mechanism. Oh yeah. I'm not an asshole. Whatever you say, man. You know what I saw? Literally, this was so insane, I laughed for like five minutes.
00:09:25
Speaker
Someone asked a question. How does a brain anus rhythm instantly kill you? It was like a genuine question explained like fine. What is brain anus rhythm? I know what it is. You're trying to say brain aneurysm. Aneurysm.
00:09:39
Speaker
Oh. But...
00:09:44
Speaker
Like, this is so crazy because I do this kind of shit sometimes. Like I like, I like write how it sounds in my head instead of what the word actually is.
00:09:56
Speaker
And it'll just be like a completely different word and it doesn't make sense. It's like a subconscious thing. I've seen my mom do it too. It's insane. I feel like that's just a general thing. Like if you don't know like how a word is spelled. It's not because you don't know how it's spelled. It's like you're not actually thinking about it.
00:10:13
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I'm dumb. no All right, let's let's just get into the episode, yeah? This is so stupid. I think this is quality content. So I have a few topics that I'm really, you know, i really do want to talk about.
Vivek's Filmmaking Journey and Working with Family
00:10:28
Speaker
First of all, let's start with New Normal, right? So this is a show that you, Vivek, you wrote and you produced and you directed with your dad. which is insane how correct how was that how was that whole process like give us like three words to sum it up first and then we'll like dive into it okay three words uh uh i would say educational um challenging um and like unforgettable i guess is it i'm trying to think of a word that's like something about like how like valuable that experience was unforgettable i guess is there that's what what we can go with that um
00:11:06
Speaker
invaluable maybe yeah invaluable i feel like you need to off the entire need to cut the entire intro of saying that i'm a writer and i'm a product manager because those clearly those things are not you know we're gonna cut back to that to emphasize yeah yeah yeah he just has a way with words does exactly yeah yeah it was an insane ah like year i want to say it was like a yeah about a full year of us doing that how it started It's a very long story. feel like I've told the story. I told the story to Ahir recently and you were kind of there throughout the whole thing. But I've always been into filmmaking. It's been a passion of mine writing and directing. I knew wanted to do that for a very long time since I was middle school.
00:11:52
Speaker
and honestly even before that i feel like a lot of people did this you know you'd make skits on your with like your phone and stuff and like no one will ever see these but there is out there on youtube somewhere there's like it's that i uh wrote and directed and i guess started myself as as and like um it was like i i had like this uh flip camera like don't i don't know if you guys remember flip cameras but like uh One year for my birthday, I asked my dad for a flip camera and he was like, yeah, sure.
00:12:20
Speaker
um And I would make these skits. i It was like maybe like two or three, but like that was kind of the genesis of me realizing i was really into this. In addition to also being a writer, as a kid, like I wrote and published a few books because I was just like bored. And like I like- published them?
00:12:36
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. It's like self-publishing, but it is publishing. Like as as a kid, you know, like it was like, I was like a celebrity for like a hot five seconds in my neighborhood. um And i was also the source of many other kids' pain because like all their parents were comparing them to me. And they were like, why didn't you write a book? like um Which is ridiculous. But I peaked in fifth grade. That's the thing.
00:13:01
Speaker
But um I was really into writing and like I knew I loved movies and I was like making skits. I never kind of put them together. I never really thought about like, oh, like how do you even like write a movie? Like how does a movie like even like what even is a script or a screenplay?
00:13:15
Speaker
um Until like middle school when I started to kind of like look into screenwriting and started googling like how to you know write a script and there's like free screenwriting software as I started writing my own stuff and that kind of grew more as I went to high school and like started taking film classes and exploring that a lot more and I think like my freshman year of high school I went to a private school for one year which had a really great film program and like they had like a whole studio and everything and like they people who went to film school from there and I was like oh this is like, this is obviously exactly what what I want to do. And I told my parents, I was like, I i want to go to film school. Like, I was terrified of doing it, um of telling them that, because like, obviously, you know, like,
00:13:53
Speaker
insane topic and i remember i was like I was so scared of telling them this uh that my plan which I executed was um while I was at school I wrote an email to my parents um explaining why I wanted to go to film school and sent it to them so that I didn't have to see their immediate reaction yeah and I could just like wait till I got home and then see what they were saying we see what they said um which i think is kind of genius honestly like but also like thinking back it's kind of ridiculous but my parents were very supportive of like me pursuing this as a passion but obviously they were like you can't go to film school that's just ridiculous we don't know anything about that it's expensive like all these and a million reasons why they were like you you're you're not going to film school like that's just like a ridiculous idea but like
00:14:40
Speaker
They were extremely supportive in me like pursuing that as my creative passion. I was able to take many classes throughout high school like at different programs. I had film programs and we had like a family friend who was a filmmaker who still is a filmmaker. And like he works in tech, but is very passionate about directing and writing and he had been doing productions and i got to go work on his set and he it was like a three-day shoot it was like my first time on like a real you know indie film set and uh it was the craziest experience and this is through like my parents like like it's like a family friend i learned so much from that but uh but yeah i ultimately did not go to film school like i went to ucla met davum i realized this is such a long story for your question about new normal no let's feel let you go let's go through it let's get all the lore
00:15:20
Speaker
ah yeahlthough la and Yeah, have Lauren. Get out of the way. So yeah, I went to UCLA because I was like, okay, well, it's in l LA. They have a good film program. i'm not majoring in films. i'm not like I didn't get in into their film program, but like at least I can do something out there. And continuously like you know was trying to do film classes, but there was a point where...
00:15:38
Speaker
Like I, uh, I was like, I need to figure out my like real career and, and like what I'm going to be like doing after I graduate and like, you know, what I need to do like job wise. So there was a point where I kind of gave up on the film and stuff. And then I was this like, let me focus on that, figure that out.
00:15:53
Speaker
Uh, and actually did figure that out, but COVID hit and then, you know, things were like kind of in the flux and, And from there, like I took film classes, I graduated with a film minor, but I was still like just kind of riding into the void.
00:16:06
Speaker
um And like, I was like, this is the one thing I can control. Like, I like screenwriting, but he continues to do that and kind of see where it goes from there. And simultaneously, my dad out of nowhere, maybe had some kind of midlife crisis of some sorts, but like he started to have so much time. you got to call him out like that?
00:16:22
Speaker
and i mean I don't know what us to call it good, but like he basically started getting involved in he he created like a ah theater group in the Bay Area of like family friends and like started putting on stage productions.
00:16:35
Speaker
um He was like an assistant director who's working behind the scenes, but like it was like something he did outside of work a lot. And then he kind of transitioned into wanting to make short films.
00:16:46
Speaker
And he became like a like a short film director and he started making these these short films in Malayalam. ah So like I would help him out on stuff, you know, here and there. i would give him advice on his like, you know, editing and stuff. I knew what he was doing and he knew that I was like, and obviously into film and stuff. But we we talked about doing a project together for for a long time, but it never just it just never really happened. And then i graduated college and moved to New York and i was kind of just writing stuff on the side and figuring out what I wanted to do when he was like, hey, I want to a project in English for Indian Americans.
00:17:20
Speaker
I feel like we can write something together and like do a project. um That would be really fun. And like, you know, we could use both of our talents and like kind of just make something like really interesting. and we were both into comedy um and we're we're both you know like in like my dad's always been funny and like i've always was writing in comedy too and like we always talked about like doing like a comedy funny though you were just ready yeah exactly yeah um and uh so so we were like you know let's let's think about doing like a sitcom of sorts like based on like our experience as Indian American family. It kind of just started from that and then grew into the idea of these two families in the Bay Area who are from different parts of India, but like they were friends and just shit that happens. Very like life events, um you telling that through a comedic lens, showing their differences as to like two different families, very different in terms of culture and language, but showing how they kind of are still find similarities and like help each other out through like different random conflicts that happen in their lives.
00:18:18
Speaker
Luckily, by that time, my dad had kind of built out like a crew of some sort, um which was like, you know, his friends were also just these uncles and aunties and like tech and, you know, living in the Bay Area who just are really passionate about acting and really passionate about cinematography and really passionate about like all these different things and how all these side gigs.
00:18:38
Speaker
um who were just down to work on this for some reason i i still don't know to this reason a why they were so down to like audition and like get cast and like spend entire weekends shooting with us yeah yeah surprisingly yeah passion goes a long way but like all right um But that's kind of how New Normal got started. ah The show is called New Normal for for for context for the audience. but But yeah, we shot a pilot like almost three years ago.
00:19:07
Speaker
Crazy learning experience. Obviously, we just didn't really know what we were doing. We were just like let's just figure it out. um It was like... It was COVID was kind of tail end of COVID, but like, it was still a thing. So we were kind of like worried about that. Like our, the very first day of our shoot, like one of our DPs got COVID like on the morning of and we had to figure it out on the day. Like it was, it was kind of crazy, but like we made it happen.
00:19:28
Speaker
ah We were very ambitious. We made it happen. And then we were like, this is actually really cool. Let's see how much more we can do. So we crowdfunded and then raised enough money to make three more episodes.
00:19:38
Speaker
So over the next year, we were kind of just shooting. I was living in New York, so I was coming back at a time. Like I would come back for a month at a time. would shoot for a month, ah which is basically just weekends because everyone's working like actual jobs. And we had to like figure out like, yeah, had to figure out like,
00:19:54
Speaker
10 people schedules that would all line up to be free for a total for a whole weekend. um we were shooting in my house and another house and like it was very much a community effort, huge community effort. Like my mom was cooking people helping out volunteers like coming to like PA and like AD and like all these all these different things on set du that we just needed to do but It also like me and my dad wearing a million hats and like being, ah needing to figure out, okay, like logistics and like schedules and catering, like where, what are they, what is everyone going to eat? Like, ah what do we need for the sets? Like, so how do we set the, how do we like, um you know, set the props and like dress the set to make it look like a house and like, what should it look like? And then writing the story also is another whole thing, right? So like, I'd go back to New York for a month and then we would on Zoom, like write ah scripts and like, we had all the other writers help us out too. And like,
00:20:42
Speaker
figure out the story and then like come back and then you know like rehearse and all these different things so um and we were like moving the equipment around everything too so that's why i said educational because like doing all of that like i learned so much from that experience like doing four episodes of this was like basically my film school completely yeah um and really prepared me because like once you do that it only goes up from there Um, and like things get easier because you know how to do everything else.
00:21:11
Speaker
But, um, that's kind of how new normal, you know, what happened. And what was the other words I said? I'm i'm just forgetting. It's educational. Challenging. Yeah, challenging was real. said challenging and then you said, what was the word you used?
00:21:26
Speaker
Unforgettable? Invaluable, invaluable. That's what you said you said. Yeah, that was the word they've been using. That was the word given to you. Unforgettable, unforgettable. It's a lame name. Yeah, I'll use it. It's challenging in the sense that like obviously there's like so many challenges.
00:21:41
Speaker
challenges like logistically and like physically like you know we're working with yeah like our budget and all these things also i mean like there's obviously just like creative challenges my dad and i are two very different people like we had differences in opinion on like how things could go and like you navigating that's also an interesting right because it's like your dad also like working with you on this but like you see them as a collaborator when you're like working on something but also ah it's a good and bad thing because like you can have arguments and then like you know you had to go down for dinner later so it's like you got to resolve things you can't just like leave and like and like do things i can't imagine doing something like that with my dad that's insane yeah absolutely yeah It was a learning process. Like yeah I could not either before doing it. And it's a lot of learning when to like where our where both of our skills are and then trusting one another.
00:22:29
Speaker
I think every single shoot we have we had like one very big explosive fight. But like that low knowing that like, okay, this is normal. It's fine. Like we're going to a fight. It's okay.
00:22:41
Speaker
We're still going to make the thing. We're still going to like do it. We'll like, you know, we'll, we'll figure it out. And then like knowing like where our skills are and like trusting each other to like do that thing. Right. Like that's, That's really kind of how it happened. But yeah, it's tough sometimes cause it's like creatively, like you want to do all the things and like, you know, sometimes you can't and like you just understand like, okay, like where are those, where, where, what we can do and what we can't do. And that's kind of what led me to my next project too, is like wanting to not have those limitations and like just do whatever I want to do.
00:23:08
Speaker
I'm just curious, like what's an example of like a creative conflict? I think like, I mean, so it's it's comedy, right? And like comedy is like very subjective. Yeah. And my dad and I are from very different generations, obviously, right? So we have different ideas of what's funny and what isn't. And like, sometimes it's like, it's like you spend like time writing a joke and like you write this thing you think is really funny. And then I send to my dad and he's like, I don't get this. Like, this doesn't make any sense. What you mean? This isn't funny. Yeah.
00:23:35
Speaker
And then or like it's like understanding like who your audience is. I think that's a really important thing when you write something is who are you writing this for. and you get to kind of remind ourselves of that kind constantly because sometimes we would write a joke that we would get. But then my dad would be like, oh, someone in India watching this is not going to get it.
00:23:51
Speaker
So we have to explain the joke as we were like, like in the dialogue, we have to like make it clear what the joke is with them. But then i would be like, that just, you know, ruins the comedy part of it. Like yeah deciding, making those decisions where it's like, okay, like some people are not going to get this, but that's fine because the quality of the joke is going to decrease if we try to explain it for everybody.
00:24:10
Speaker
um Yeah. Like it won't hit as well for this audience and it may not hit at all, but like, it'll be a better joke. Right. So like those kinds of things. Yeah. Those are like the main differences I feel like sometimes. And like, yeah, but like, you know, you figure it out. I think with a sitcom, especially it's like the story is king. You can do whatever you want cinematically, but it doesn't, that doesn't matter as much as the writing.
00:24:30
Speaker
So we would always spend a lot time with like making sure that the writing was top notch. And then like, that's something learned over time as we did like the episodes, writing and pacing is the most important thing. Yeah.
00:24:40
Speaker
i just think it's so cool that you guys did this i feel like i get so excited when like someone i know is like making something you know like creating art for people that came to consume and like relate to i was so i remember when it came out i was like i was like showing my friends i was like yo this is my that's my buddy that's my boy appreciate it i appreciate it i mean it means the world it yeah because like you spend so much time making something and like you ah sometimes forget you're like, okay, why are you even doing this? Like say, who's going watch this?
00:25:11
Speaker
And then you hear something like that, where like people are actually watching it, but other people, and that's when you're like, oh, like this is why I made it Yeah. um they It's very easy to get in your head about those are things. Sometimes when you really just have to trust, like,
00:25:24
Speaker
if I find this process interesting and I find this thing I'm working on interesting, you just need to trust other people are also going to find value in it and like yeah find it
Art for Enjoyment and Inspiration
00:25:32
Speaker
exciting. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's also like not about the amount of views it gets. Yeah.
00:25:37
Speaker
Like all that, that kind of stuff and getting monetized or whatever. Like we just put it on YouTube after it was done because this is the way that the most people going to be able to see it. If we tried to go on streaming platform, now I mean, that's also just another very complicated process and,
00:25:51
Speaker
difficult process but like we were like let's just put it out there we've been talking about it for so long let's just do it and i mean who knows like it could blow up like 30 years from now you know know you have no fucking idea the start of a new genre out there in the physical world you know yeah exactly yeah I think that's what I liked about it too. Like, I feel like the conversation was, felt real, real situations, real, it kind of also, I mean, I watched it a long time ago, so I don't remember exactly, but I feel like there was an element of like surprise too, if I'm not mistaken. I feel like, was there, was there something about an affair at some point or no? No spoilers, bro. It was,
00:26:36
Speaker
We, there was no affair, but like we always, it was like a running joke that like the dad and one of the families and like the mom the other family were like, they were like college friends, which is why like families each other. there But like, there was always like a kind of a weird like energy between them yeah that like the other spouses would always be like, but like what the fuck's going on?
00:26:58
Speaker
um but like it was never yeah i mean this is a family show you know like it's it's a
00:27:06
Speaker
but that was memorable is what i was trying to say because i remembered that energy was like oh shit that's spicy yeah okay nice it's not just sanitized we honestly had some spicy we had some spicy uh jokes in there i'm remembering now yeah But yeah, I think basically what I liked a lot was the realism.
00:27:26
Speaker
I feel like. Appreciate that. I think that's what gets me. That's the reason I like movies with a lot of dialogue. Even like a Pulp Fiction. I just i just really enjoy like just watching them talk, you know? yeah your Your entire apartment is a Pulp Fiction like decor. Okay, okay. There's two things, bro. Shut up.
00:27:45
Speaker
no i I love that movie, by the way. I watched it, I think, in middle school, and it like changed my life. like I think like I literally got into screenwriting probably because of that movie.
00:27:57
Speaker
But yeah, it's an incredible movie But yeah, it's funny you mentioned that. I don't know if I would call the dialogue a realistic, though. I feel like it's very like stylized, but like that's what makes it fun.
00:28:09
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Style. I think it is stylized, but it is. I think it is very real. It's like a very like mundane kind of conversations, but made stylized to the point where it's like, oh, this is interesting to watch. Like, oh, yeah, it is very real conversations. Yeah.
00:28:23
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like the characters are definitely like slightly unhinged in their own ways. Yeah. But the conversation that they're having from their perspective seems pretty real. Yeah, i guess I can see that.
00:28:34
Speaker
Like, given the character. given the character exactly yeah i just watched this movie last week the jesse eisenberg movie a real oh real pain loved that movie yeah that was really good too i feel very real yeah very real emotions dialogue it was it was like play yeah yeah the script was great yeah yeah it was like and like i listen i was i listened to a um like a podcast with karen culkin and like where they're interviewing him and like It's kind of crazy, like he would talk about how he doesn't really like prep that much. He's really good at memorizing a lot of dialogue because he's just grown up as an actor. So he would just show up to set, read the read the lines like right before would go up and shoot it. And like Jesse Eisenberg is the opposite, right? where i mean It's kind of like their characters in the movie, but like in real life where he used to be very very neurotic. And he was also directing the movie and he wrote it. So he was just like very particular about things.
00:29:22
Speaker
Kieran would just show up, but like not really knowing where like where even they were going. like He would just like not knowing what scene they were going to do. And he would just show up, read lines really quick, and then just be himself and do it. And then like he won the Oscar. So it just like shows how real, I mean, also how talented he is, but like how real that script was.
00:29:47
Speaker
Do you feel like there was anything like you learned creatively that you didn't expect? Oh yeah. um Like before doing New Normal, I never even really saw myself as a director. That idea just seemed very inachievable because it's involved so much more. And i found that skill become very natural to me when we were doing New Normal. Like, I don't even remember, like started to do it ah when we did the first episode, but like it kind of just like happened.
00:30:12
Speaker
And that's when I was like, oh, I think this is like, I can see what the edit's going look like as we were shooting it. And like, that's such an important skill to have, I feel like. So I'm doing that, but also like,
00:30:24
Speaker
creatively like I think working with actors is also like what I learned a lot um yeah knowing the right decisions to make as you're doing more takes or like making sure that you you don't you can always think to the future and be like am I going to regret this in like six months from now when I watch this this this not doing this one thing because I don't want to do another retake and take everyone's time to do do do another take on this um like balancing that right because like i i feel like some of us are are just like people pleasers right like you don't want to make everyone do another take and like have to reset and do the same lines like for the eighth time but if there's like a thing in that in that last take that like is gonna bother me six months from now like i'd rather just do that now and tell myself to hey it's okay everyone's here for this reason so like we should be doing this uh that's a lesson because there was so many times like i watched the episodes and like i like damn i wish we did that one more time or like
00:31:18
Speaker
ah we we we we we messed this thing up i mean not that anyone probably notices but it's just like a personal thing um and then like thinking back to that and like it really wouldn't it take that long to just do it again like we can just do it again um so yeah definitely i feel like for me i have like no shame about those things was like you know what you signed up for bitch this is my shit yeah yeah yeah you should that's how it should be but up also the thing is it's like these are all volunteers like they're all yeah yeah and it so and then it's then it's always that guilt feeling of like oh like i'm keeping everyone's time here like I need to like be mindful of that which is like yeah here it's different way that people are it's your family and people are doing it for free no no I know I mean to a certain extent I'm joking obviously I am and it's like but that's there you kind should be to an extent yeah you can be that bitch and that asshole but that's going to affect the environment of the whole set right so that's also going to bleed into like how the actors work so there's always like a give and take balance
00:32:13
Speaker
And you can also be nice about like, hey, like we should do one more take, you know, just yeah like instead of being like, that was shitty, let's do it again. yeah get Go full Kubrick. Yeah, exactly. this scene Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like, like emotionally abuse your cast. Yeah.
00:32:32
Speaker
always Always a great idea. That's like stuff you only learn by doing, right? Exactly. Yeah. That is a lesson. than book can do The best films about film school is just doing, making stuff. That is like the best film school.
00:32:45
Speaker
I haven't gone to film school, so I don't know. But like... no basiss say also That's also, I'm assuming why at film school, like ah like you make a lot of things in film school, right? Like you go to classes, year but like most of it is like making stuff.
00:32:59
Speaker
I think this is the best film school because it's a lot less expensive. so that's what i like yeah i mean there is definitely like a i think like a like valuable aspect to the fact that like you're getting feedback from like professionals who have been doing it for a while so they can give you more like and it's i think the the biggest value you get from film school is is the is the community and like is like being around that and like the people you meet like 100 it's much harder to do that outside of that but yeah it's just business school for film literally Literally, yeah. like the film is like Also, it forces you to make stuff. like It forces you to do reps and like you know figure out what your niche is do lot of stuff. and like yeah um So that when you graduate, you've already done like a bunch of stuff. so right so
00:33:44
Speaker
yeah Here's taking a bunch of notes because he's he's writing... ah here Are you writing your script now? Yes, yes. I mean, i have, but I was actually writing a script, like, before the breakup and all of that happened.
00:33:56
Speaker
ah So it's been on the back burner, but I'm definitely, like, taking notes, like, tips for later. Yeah, I don't know, yeah. And there's, like, a million things online to, like, how write a great script, like, like, this structure that stuff, like. Yeah. Yeah.
00:34:09
Speaker
But yeah, honestly, the best way, the the best motivation for writing a script is going me going through something like a breakup. So, yeah. so yeah I mean, that's what it is, right? I feel like how much of this do you feel like is just expression? like Is it like an expression of what's inside or or is it just you're writing something for an audience, you know?
00:34:28
Speaker
ah It depends on what you choose to do, right? like But I think like ah ah there is definitely a piece of you in whatever you write. Like, somehow, even if it's, like, the first, like, full screenplay I wrote was, like, an action stoner comedy.
00:34:42
Speaker
Which is, like... A true reflection of your soul. Yeah, which is, like... Is it, like... I don't know. But, like, it's, like, a ridiculous story, but, like, there is, like, at the core of it, it's about...
00:34:57
Speaker
Like, i I mean, like, I don't know the third aspect of it, but like, it's about these two characters. And like, and like yeah, i mean, there is like, at the core aspect, like the the emotional kind of arc this this character goes through, like, it's somewhat of a parallel, right? of like, what I believe.
00:35:12
Speaker
And like, people always say, like, write write what you know, like, because here your experience and your voice is the most unique thing you can write. um so so yes like there's ways you could put that in like different genres new normal we wrote a lot of comedy for an audience but like it's based on our our personal experiences a lot of the jokes that we wrote were like things that like happened to us um so so yeah and then like my the next project at showtime like short film like but it's ah about a the main character is female she's a singer like i am neither female nor a singer but but like the the the core like the arc she goes through is very similar it's based on like my experiences so like yeah like there is like a there is a piece of myself in and i think it's always going reflection of yeah well since you've brought it up let's talk about it let's talk about your you know getting there your big your short film just call it show time right you're plugging what
00:36:07
Speaker
Yeah.
Short Film 'Showtime' and Festival Aspirations
00:36:08
Speaker
I don't know what I'm plugging it for. Like, it's like, like ah you can go see it. Maybe one day. no You need to build the hype. So it's in, it's in what post production stage right now.
00:36:19
Speaker
What you have a release date in mind? What's going on? don't have mind I don't know when it's going to be released like publicly because like the idea with this is like once we're finished, like which I think post will be done in a couple weeks for now, which is exciting because like now we're going through that really fun process of like kind of will you really putting the finishing touches on it. But um but Once it's done, like i want to put it in festivals and like see how it kind of do that run and see if it like gets it anywhere and plays anywhere.
00:36:49
Speaker
So it's complicated like being able to release that publicly because a lot of places like you can't actually release the film publicly. The actual premiere has to be at the festival itself. What festival are you submitting it to? Oh, you know, just like Cannes, Sundance, you know. Oh, awesome.
00:37:08
Speaker
No, no, no. I don't know. that There are some, like, really, really great South Asian film festivals across the U.S. I'll submit to to to those.
00:37:19
Speaker
Actually, like, one of the largest ones this year is based in Seattle. i don't know you've been to it either, but, like, or heard of it, but, like, um ah That would be a great film to play at. I mean, a great festival to play at, I think.
00:37:30
Speaker
It really depends on like, I think once we see how it comes out, ah kind of assessing the quality of it and then like making like festivals like, okay, like where do we think we probably get into? then like, where what would some reach ones be just to like apply to say, hey, I apply to this and like, you know, it's a low chance we get in, but like whatever.
00:37:46
Speaker
but I definitely want to play New York. I think like I live there. It's very much like a film that was made in New York. New York's part of that. All this stuff costs money too. So it's like, yeah balancing like how many festivals make sense to apply to like there's also millions of festivals and some of them are like not as valuable as other ones yeah ones I can actually go to as well are probably more valuable like physically because that's kind of the point of festivals is to like meet people there and like and ah you're like you network and stuff like that so um yeah I don't know but that's a problem I'm gonna figure out once we finish the film yeah we'll cross that bridge when we get there exactly
00:38:19
Speaker
So why do they do this thing where you can't release it publicly until you enter the festival? Like, what is the reasoning? So, yeah, I mean, some festivals, like, they would prefer like, you premiere at their festival. So they can say that, oh, this is, like, this premiered at, you know, Thestphia or whatever it is, right? So, like, if you release it publicly before that, then it's, like, their thinking is that, like, less people will come to see it because it's already online.
00:38:45
Speaker
I see. There's also also element of like distribution because sometimes like running at festivals, like you start yeah creating deals with distribution companies. So it's like, it makes it messy if you're like already releasing it into like theaters and stuff. I know that's the case with, ah with, with feature films a lot. Yeah. Yeah. um Short films is short films are kind of funny. Cause it's like, yeah there is no ROI on short films. Like you are going to spend a bunch money and make this thing and you're not going to make that money back.
00:39:10
Speaker
Like 99% likely but like, but like It's like a, you know, it's your portfolio. It's like you're yeah you're you're building your network. You're building like, you know, what- Getting noticed. Yeah, getting noticed. And then meeting people who can then potentially fund your gi feature form whatever. Yeah.
00:39:27
Speaker
So kind of a left turn, like from the questions we've been asking, but you mentioned you wanted to submit to like South Asian film festivals specifically.
Cultural Identity in Filmmaking
00:39:35
Speaker
And obviously like like there's an aspect where like you're a South Asian filmmaker. So you're submitting that reason.
00:39:41
Speaker
But I'm just curious, like, do you see the short film as in any way, like representative of your experiences specifically as a South Asian? Cause like, it sounds like the new normal was at least like somewhat rooted in that, like uniquely in terms of like the, I guess like value or like what,
00:39:56
Speaker
Yeah, the narrative of that. That's a great question. That's a really good question. um And I think no, like, yes, the main character in this short film is South Asian.
00:40:07
Speaker
And there is, I guess, an element of it with her mom and how I don't want to give away too much, but like, I wouldn't say that the story is like a South Asian story. Yeah, no spoilers. You gotta go see it. where But like, um the story isn't a South Asian story. Like it's not, yeah that's not what it is. It's not like, a it's not like, it's very different from New Normal in that sense. yeah It's going to be something that people can relate to if you are that kind of character who, um well, the main character in the short film, it's ah it's sort of about like how she's balancing this
00:40:39
Speaker
like nine to five corporate job and like her dreams to be a singer like in New York and the chaos that that brings to her life and like what kind of leads her to like realize what path she should be on. It's not about like her being a South Asian singer and her experience like that. It's yeah it's more about like, yeah.
00:40:56
Speaker
So so and But I guess like the the the idea of South Asian film festivals is that one, they they do generally do look out for a content like this that are putting South Asian people at the forefront and like are made by South Asian people.
00:41:13
Speaker
and And generally that just like, you know, it does increase your chances of being able to play there because they're like content like that. also like a lot of the community that like i've built in new york like the film community that and like people who have mentored me are from that south asian filmmaker space like there's a organization called rickshaw which i understand about rickshaw and film foundation like they are a ah film foundation that is that is run and created by south asians For South Asians. And I think that that community is so open because it's so it's it's pretty small. It's it's growing a lot.
00:41:46
Speaker
But it's it's relatively small. And like them being so welcoming to someone like me coming into this and like finding other people like myself who are also making content and like I'm trying to like figure out this filmmaking thing.
00:41:56
Speaker
They helped me like literally make this thing happen. Do you see like your South Asian identity as central to like anything you're trying to express or like your creative impulses at all? Or do you see it as more something that sometimes intersects, but like you wouldn't really say is core to like your thinking or expression?
00:42:11
Speaker
I would say more the latter. Like I, the stories that I want to tell and like the the things that I'm writing, it's not, and it's not necessarily about what is it like to be a South Asian, like, could it be? Yes. But I think my idea of representation is like having a regular story be told, but starring a South Asian person.
00:42:26
Speaker
yeah it doesn't necessarily have to be about oh why i'm like indian or pakistan or whatever like it it's just about like having them on screen and like having them be told like i think like the uk does it super well already and like they're like you know you the uk like obviously has this like controversy and like shitty things shitty history and like shitty food as well but ah in terms of film they're kind of killing it theyve they got it down to some extent because like if you watch the content coming out of there like it's so diverse and it's like not about like oh being an indian in uk it's like just like it's like a detective show but the main detective indian and like yeah they make things like that right so
00:43:04
Speaker
then and not Not that there's anything wrong with, like, stories that are about being Indian American. Obviously, like, I've put a whole show based on that. But, like, the most of the stories I will tell will be, like, the latter. That's good. I feel like we need less, you know, content where it's just, like, kind of pandering to an audience.
00:43:20
Speaker
I just watched the first episode of... It's that one new Indian show on Hulu. I forgot what was called. Deli Boys. Deli Boys. Yeah. And, you know, i appreciate what they're trying to do.
00:43:31
Speaker
I get it. I just like, again, like it just feels so inauthentic sometimes where it's just like, oh, the the chicken tikka and the, you know, all that stuff. And it's just like, yeah, that's what. So, OK, that's interesting.
00:43:44
Speaker
Yeah. Like, it's just like, it's a show made for white people, you know? I realized, so what I realized is that like, like I used to feel the same way about media that's like, you know, made for white, like, like obviously there's the whole, like never have I ever like, you know, discussion. Yeah. And this discussion on that show. Right.
00:43:58
Speaker
Yeah. I wasn't really a fan of it, right? But I realized that there are people out there who really enjoy the show. Deli Boys, I felt a similar kind of way it. It's like, okay, like, this is a silly, really goofy show. The humor isn't really for me.
00:44:12
Speaker
Some things I was laughing at, but most things like, this is not really for me. But there is a brown audience out there that actually does enjoy it. It's just not us. I think that, like, it really depends on where you came from and, like, what you're, what's available to you.
00:44:25
Speaker
So, like, for that reason, like, I started to appreciate that kind of content more. Like, before I was like, oh, never have I ever, like, you know, it's this is ridiculous. Like, it it it set us back, blah, bla blah, blah.
00:44:38
Speaker
Indians will never recover from this. Yeah, literally, yeah. like but like But then I realized, I was like, actually, that's that's that's stupid because, like, One, it's a show featuring a brown person on screen. That's another, that's, that's, that itself is a win in of itself.
00:44:53
Speaker
And two, there are brown people in America who really liked that show, who really think it's like great. And it's represented. And Mindy Kaling wrote that show because it's based on her experience. Now, her experience of being brown versus in America versus our experience of being brown in America, like us, we are from being from the Bay Area where we were surrounded by brown people. And like like, you know, like that's a very different experience than yeah other brown people in the U.S. And like, I only realized that after like, you know, you you kind of leave and like you meet more people who are not from the Bay and you're like, oh, like you're
00:45:24
Speaker
you're you're you're kind of different like they not not a bad way but it's just like your experience was different and like yeah to them that may be more relatable you know it's working for somebody like even bad content that's featuring a lot people is generally like the worst like quote-unquote bad it' subjective right but like yeah um uh but like you know like it's not necessarily the worst thing in the world right it's like it's fine no for sure i mean and i agree with you i feel like the more i've talked to people the more i've kind of realized that That's why I'm saying, like, I appreciate what they're doing.
00:45:54
Speaker
Yeah. Like, I appreciate their content. Maybe it's not for me, but... Yeah. It's like, it's the same, the Mindy Kaling thing that you're talking about, right? The... Priyanka Chopra, right? Like, it's the... I don't know if I'm a Chopra.
00:46:08
Speaker
No, you... Do you bucket that differently? No, no, I'm just joking. I was making a joke. I just don't like it, but, you know, that's... yeah
00:46:18
Speaker
well but but the argument was the same right it was yeah oh she set us back you know oh this is not what people go through this is yeah but you're right there's an audience that appreciates it and you have to respect that um and if it's like our job to to make stuff that's like well that's that's waitable for us right like yeah yeah being brown from an area and in america where it's like very, very, like a very much like a brown community.
00:46:43
Speaker
It's such a different experience. And like, I haven't seen that as much on screen as I have the other, like the opposite. So like, I feel like it be very, like, I want to work on, like, I mean, this ideas that I've had for like scripts in the future where it's just like about that specifically, like, what is it like being a brown person living in a predominantly brown neighborhood in America?
00:47:03
Speaker
Yeah, I think like at the end of the day, the issue isn't with any of these like shows or anything. It's really just the lack of a diversity of brown voices and brown perspectives. Because I feel like normally we talk about it as like this homogenous thing where it's just like, oh, stories about brown people.
00:47:18
Speaker
But there's so much particularity and like the different experiences that people have. And also in terms of like the actual complexity of the stories being told. Because it's like, if you look at something like Everything Everywhere All at Once, for example, in terms of like East Asian, like the culture, like even there, like there is like an engagement with things like generational trauma that usually isn't there, I feel like in a lot of brown stories, for
Diversity in Indian Filmmaking
00:47:39
Speaker
example.
00:47:39
Speaker
So it's a both ah like a complexity issue, both in terms of like depth and the sorts of issues being discussed. And also like, again, like the the different brown perspectives. No, 100%. I will say that is changing a lot, though. Like, I feel like there is a lot of content out there, especially on like Netflix and Prime.
00:47:57
Speaker
Not shot here. Honestly, not shot here at all. But shot in India, where it's like a lot more real. Yeah. yeah I remember watching Sacred Games. I don't know if you guys know Sacred Games.
00:48:08
Speaker
But when that show came out, I was like, wow, I finally see something where this is how people actually fucking talk. you know yeah it's so real i was just so happy and then since then there have been a string of shows that come that have come out in the similar vein yeah no i yeah netflix yeah netflix and i mean i heard recently there's like more kind of controversy around the kind of content that netflix india is making but like there was a long string of time where like they're just pumping out like great content.
00:48:38
Speaker
And I've heard, and I don't know how true this is, but like, it's because like the the people making like series content for streaming is very different from like the traditional like Bollywood like families of like, these are all independent creators like making. You could talk about like how South India like killed it for like forever. Like it's kind of insane.
00:49:02
Speaker
yeah Obviously biased to Kerala, but like they destroyed the game. like When it comes to filmmaking, making like independent films and like getting that to the mainstream audience um and having it click and actually make money to the point where like big budget stars from like the Rajnikanth and not Rajnikanth, but the Rajnikanth of Kerala's um like are now just like focusing on making like indie films because they're making money and they're focused on story not on like scale which is which is insane so i think that's like it's really sick and then bollywood started to kind of like learn from that and then it's taking its turn yeah there's a lot of good there's so many good moelle films coming out oh yeah it's insane just like actually crazy
00:49:42
Speaker
What did watch? All We Imagine as Light. I saw that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was that's a very, yeah very indie, very indie film. But yeah. Yeah. I like that. That's there for sure.
00:49:54
Speaker
i was talking more about like the Kerala film industry. Like, okay. Yeah. dumb Those kind of, but like, yes. Yeah. Same thing. Right. Like, Like mainstream, you're talking about mainstream. Yeah, like there are still like the mainstream like masala movies that are being made. It's less so before but that's still there.
00:50:10
Speaker
But like a lot of, um you know, big Kerala like movie stars. And this is this is the case across like India as well, not just Kerala. But like, I think I feel like it started kind of in Kerala was like these bigger stars that are used to do a lot more masala movies.
00:50:24
Speaker
now shifted towards making indie films and starring indie films that are like much smaller budget much smaller scale because like audiences were going to see them and they were making money off of them and like they realized that like oh actually having a good story can be profitable um and so so like it's like who would have thought right so so um and and it was just like the quality was just insane like it's it's ridiculous yeah I feel like if I knew more about West Bengal, like there would be an interesting oh lawyer yeah addition to add there. Because, for example, like like the first Indian films to win Oscars were from West Bengal, the Apu Trilogy, for example.
00:51:04
Speaker
The Bengali like film industry was one of the earliest to get like artistic recognition from the West, especially, obviously, because of like yeah the British Empire and how Kolkata was like the capital of the administration. But...
00:51:18
Speaker
I don't know enough about Bengal to comment further than that. Neither do I, but I do know they got some good films. wonder what's common between West Bengal and Kerala. What's the one thing that's common?
00:51:29
Speaker
There are two things, actually. Fish and communism. oh you're right. I forgot about the fish, but you're right.
00:51:39
Speaker
Crazy how educating the population do that. Yeah, who'd have thought, right? Yo, woke fucks make good movies.
00:51:49
Speaker
damn they made the films awoke
00:51:55
Speaker
oh man but going back to where we started this like going back to showtime like just to close that off i feel like everyone's eagerly waiting for that that's all that's a lot of pressure there's a lot of i know and literally everybody Yeah, like holy shit. I remember, everybody I remember, like not to sell it more, but I remember when you sent me the script for that to to just like give it a read.
00:52:21
Speaker
Again, what stood out to me was the realism, you know, like the dialogue, the way the characters change, the way like perceptions of them change like they look at each other differently as the story goes on you know like and i feel like the audience perceives them in a different way too so i just very interesting very good stuff thank you man i i feel like the script has probably changed a shit ton from when i last sent it to you Well, I'm excited too then.
00:52:45
Speaker
Yeah, that is also that is also a lesson I guess learned your normal. It's like, you're always going to be changed. Like the script is never done. Like it's always like to the minute yeah you shoot it, it's going to be changing. So like be okay with that and like be open to changing and know when to change it when not to change. But Yeah, I think the realism, like probably this came from like, I this is very much based on like my experience. Like it's about somebody, you know, trying to decide like what quote unquote life path they should be realizing that there isn't
Self-Perception as a Filmmaker
00:53:13
Speaker
really a path. And that's very much just like going to college and getting a career in tech and like having to figure out, okay, like, well, I want to be a filmmaker though. So like, am I allowed to be a filmmaker? Like, am I, like, is that a thing I can do because had to go to film school and I didn't do that. Do I need a license?
00:53:27
Speaker
Yeah. Do I need a like yeah a license? And just like having those like intrinsic thinking of like, I couldn't do it. I was being my own worst enemy. And as I started to kind of like get deeper and into filmmaking, going to these events and like after making New Normal and I was going to like these kind of like networking events and stuff, you would introduce yourself to people sometimes, right? And you'd be like, well, like I work in tech, but I also like make films instead of just calling yourself filmmaker, right? like That was also like a thing I was thinking of is why can't i just call myself a filmmaker? Like I am. Yeah.
00:53:57
Speaker
I am one and like I've made some stuff and if I don't call myself a filmmaker who who else is going to like no one's ever going do that unless I do it first right so that's something that but that's something that the film explores right it's like this of this main character like struggling to call herself an artist or a singer because she's like doesn't feel like a legit one because she you know isn't doing this full time but but yeah that's kind of why The Realism came out.
00:54:22
Speaker
ah So when you say like you almost had that mental block about, oh, like, can I be a filmmaker even though I didn't go to film school? Where do you think that block came from? Like, was it a skill thing or like? Yeah, um I don't even think it was a skill thing. It was more so like, am I supposed to be one, right? Like, I don't do this full time. I don't spend every day, you know, writing and directing on sets.
00:54:43
Speaker
99% of my friends are like not filmmakers. Like they're in tech or, you know, med school or wherever whatever. Yeah. and and doing something a lot more stable so like you're not surrounded by that and also it's like thinking of what's my life going to be like i went to college and my parents paid a lot of money money for me to go to college and i have student loans and stuff it's like an idea of i'm not in that tax bracket where i can just be fucking around and doing whatever i want and not making money and just like pursuing a creative passion which is maybe true or false right but like And regardless of that, like that shouldn't stop you from being able to call yourself what you want to be, right? Or what you are doing. Leaving college also is just like ah you're in a whole new fucking world, right? Like I've moved to New York and just meet new people. And like you understand that you can kind of, you start to realize, oh, yeah I can do whatever I want. You have so much time and you have the financial resources to to do so as well, right? So why can't I just pursue what I want to do while doing it?
00:55:35
Speaker
How much of it do you think is almost like the identity part of it in terms of being a filmmaker versus like the activity, not feeling like you could act on it? I would say, I mean, I think it's more so the identity part of it. Because like initially when i started off, right, like i and I didn't, I thought I was the only person who was working in tech and trying to be a filmmaker. Ridiculous idea because I obviously met um and many more people who do the same thing.
00:55:59
Speaker
But like initially you feel very alone because you think that if you want to be a filmmaker, like have to be doing this all the time. yeah I have to be grinding and having sleepless nights and just like slaving away at sets all the time because that's what you got to do to to make it.
00:56:14
Speaker
But you quickly realize that that's not the case. And also you realize that the best way of learning is by doing it and putting yourself out there. Like when we were making New Normal, a big mental block I had get over also was being not afraid to put my stuff out there and watch it. Like I couldn't watch the episodes with people. Everyone I knew was like, knew I was working on this thing and they were so excited for it, so supportive.
00:56:34
Speaker
Every time we finished an episode, I'll go back to York and I'm like, we had to watch it, we to watch it. And they would get together and I would literally hide in the back covered in sweat because I was just embarrassed of showing this stuff off. Yeah. And I realized afterwards, i was like, that's so ridiculous. That's so stupid.
00:56:48
Speaker
If you spend so much time and effort making something, and you can't even watch it with people that who are supporting you. um Because you think you're judge you. That's something that I learned to get over. And it's also part of what I kind of put into Showtime as well. Like this main character, she meets this, like funny enough, these she meets this like podcast bro, like TikTok dude, who's like kind of like, I didn't say it. I didn't say it. No, no, no. He's not like you guys. No, he's he's very much a meme. Like he's he's kind of like that meme-y like brown fuckboy kind of character. um But like my my idea with having that character in there was not necessarily just to laugh at him, but because it helps her realize as cringy as this guy is, on the outside seems like this archetype of guy we can all laugh at. Deep down, there is something you got to kind of admire about him being able to put himself out there and not really give a shit about what other people
00:57:37
Speaker
And like at the end of the day thing, like she kind of learned something from him. Yeah. Unless like you're making a podcast about something toxic or something that's like actually like negatively impacting people. Like, yeah, you should not do that. You should stop doing that.
00:57:48
Speaker
But like, yeah. If you're making a podcast and it's just maybe like people laugh at it or like cringe at it, but you're putting yourself out there and you're creating something that you were brave enough to put it out there. Like that's much more than people can say.
00:58:01
Speaker
Right. So I think that's something that's very, very relatable and similar to like, it's kind of what I helped me realize also like, yo, if there's people like putting out bullshit content on TikTok, why can't I be proud of like the things that I spend time and effort and I think is better.
00:58:13
Speaker
like be proud about that. Yeah, the assumption is this man is an irredeemable human being just because he's a great human being. No, the idea is that he is irredeemable. He very much...
00:58:26
Speaker
oh because yeah i love the starting assumption i mean there are a lot of those like know cringe fuckboys who make content that are like literally like you are negatively impacting people by making like that is bad you should stop you should know you should one should give you a mic but but but yeah there are all those cringy fuckboys who are just like yeah you're kind of cringy but yeah you're putting out there it's fun like you would probably be like whatever like right like who cares yeah yeah Yeah, I respect the passion.
00:58:51
Speaker
You forget even the content creators, bro. I want to know who are the people who leave comments on these videos that get like 12,000, 20,000, 60,000 likes? Dude, that's actually a really good question. We should do a segment on these people. Yeah, maybe that goes back to our whole thing about how some stuff isn't just made for us and there's like...
00:59:16
Speaker
audiences out there because yeah clearly like they're getting views they're getting likes they're getting comments like some fucker is watching this so like so like i guess they're just monetized and like you know what good for you man if you put a comment that gets 60 000 likes do you get monetized for that do they give you anything oh no no no i don't think so no no no no no no i think if you're it's like i'm talking about like the guy making the content no no i understand what you're saying i'm just still fascinated with the comment yeah right yeah it's just like clout i guess like honestly i'd expect it it's like that's their passion it's getting caught up like because you really have to you go you have to go in there and do it as soon as the video drops before it like reaches people anyways yeah crazy um think that's like think that's the different generation i think that's like a favorite thing i do for generation i think we're we've we we're out of that i don't know we're past it
01:00:07
Speaker
yeah it kind of sad no i definitely think it's a type of person thing i definitely think there are motherfuckers out there still like notifications on ready to go soon as something drops but yeah i going back to kind of the thing you were talking about about the identity like calling yourself an artist a director film producer whatever um I was literally having this, I don't know here if you remember, but we were having this conversation yeah in December. At your place. It's like, it's a simple thing, right? Like when you go introduce yourself, like, okay, what do you do?
01:00:37
Speaker
Right. I'm an engineer. And then like a part of me just dies when I say that. Cause it's like, I don't feel like it's true. You know, like I don't, that's not what I identify as, but I say it anyways. And then, and the other thing is like, if I say, okay, I I'm a podcaster, then I feel fake.
01:00:53
Speaker
And I just feel like a, yeah you're gonna start asking for receipts yeah no that's like yeah dude exactly exactly what i'm going through like it's the same thing i so to this day i struggle with it it's like they go meet new people and they ask what i do and then i'm like first of all take this bullshit job solution consulting like what does that even mean and then it's so hard for me to bring up that oh i'm but i'm also a filmmaker yeah and because like because then you're gonna be like oh like okay filmmaker or sure like we know like That's what I'm thinking. Like, obviously they're not going to do that, but like you have this idea in your head that you're not validated enough to call yourself that, which is ridiculous.
01:01:28
Speaker
And I literally made a whole short film about it. And then i still struggle to do that. so There's so much stigma, feel like, you know, like if I said, because if I said, oh, yeah, I'm a podcaster, they'll be like, in my head, they'll be like, oh, wow, there's another brown boy has a podcast. And, you know, he also wants to make music on the side and wants to do it. But see, I feel like, oh, OK.
01:01:50
Speaker
Another one of those people. yeah fork etc like you know what but I'm just a software engineer. Fuck it. Which origin is a trope, yeah, also a trope. But that's Yeah, that's tough, yeah.
01:02:03
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing is, like, definitely know that stigma 100%, but I also feel like that's completely internal. I do not think, like, a single person, the vast majority of people, at least, will never, like, think about you in that know? think, think, the podcast thing is actually really really sick because like yes there is somewhat of a trope of like a negative connotation when it comes to brown boy having a podcast but also like also like how many people like do you know in your immediate circle who are actively running this podcast you're on season two right now you're continuously producing content and it's like if you can prove to people that like hey this is a
Balancing Job Satisfaction and Creative Passion
01:02:34
Speaker
podcast that's actually good and like you're you're producing content that's like not negatively impacting people and just talking bullshit about other things you know like that's huge flex and i think that's like that's what you kind of got you had to rely on i think that's insane have to tell myself also it's like yeah people are gonna have this maybe maybe have this image but then like if decide to go and like listen to it or watch your film whatever right they'll realize like oh this guy's for real the work will talk for itself exactly yeah exactly yeah i think i i realized yeah a lot of this self stigma of like not being able to call myself a filmmaker it was like really with some like friends and like close ones who started to bring this up for me but when we'd be meeting new people and like i would
01:03:10
Speaker
be like oh like you know like switching this on whatever and like and then other people will be forced to bring up i love that your voice drops every time you say your job we can let let the record stay i actually do like my job my job is fine it's great like i i would not leave it um ah you know there's a gun behind the camera but like that's irrelevant Yeah, adobe's Adobe is standing there. No, no, I genuinely do. I genuinely do because it lets me do what I love. Like, it lets me make films.
01:03:39
Speaker
and yeah I have a great work-life balance. And it's challenging, but, like, it's rewarding. And, like, also, yeah, I can comfortably fund. Like, so Showtime, i mostly funded it all out out of my own pocket because I was able to because I have a job. So I can't knock that at all. um But, like, like they have a mutual friend there.
01:03:54
Speaker
ambika like she would often tell people for me like oh he's also a filmmaker and i was like why can't i just say this myself like like that that's how that's what that's what i kind of learned that was oh yeah like be more upfront about who we are and just like who gives a fuck what other people think like sure like you were actually making things you're making you're recording podcast episodes so like you should call the the call yourself podcaster right like no 100 i think kind of the last thing i want to touch on is You know, at the heart of it, what it comes down to is like a lot of people just don't know how to express themselves. Right. Because if you did, yeah you would create some form of art.
01:04:27
Speaker
And that doesn't mean you have to be a director or a podcaster or a painter. It can be engineering. You know, if that's what it's giving you, you know, yeah that's what you're really passionate about. And you can build a rocket. Right.
01:04:39
Speaker
But like a lot of people have jobs that don't do that for them. And they're too afraid of, you know, dabbling into doing anything creative because what's the point? Like either they do not express themselves or they're scared of imperfection, wasted energy, wasted time where it's like, oh, what's the point if I don't make it in this? Right.
01:04:59
Speaker
And what do you have to say to inspire people? Do you have anything? Yeah. That's tough because I feel like I'm in that same boat where it's like, I don't know if I can inspire anybody because I haven't made it. And like, I... You've inspired me, bro. I'll say that.
01:05:12
Speaker
Okay. Well, I appreciate that. I mean, that that's that's something. That's something. But yeah, there's always that thought. That's also another thing where like, i a reason why I struggle to tell people that is because like... what if this is just like a thing I don't achieve? Or like, what is the idea of success in the first place, right? Of like making it.
01:05:28
Speaker
we were talking about this earlier. Like, I think redefining what your idea of success is one thing. People have this idea of like being a successful like filmmaker is, you know, being those big name directors who like everybody knows and you make a ton of money and you're famous and like you can never have to worry about like making your films whether you can make whatever you want and have an un unlimited budget. I think that, yes, like there's obviously a lot of benefits that come with that. Yeah, I would love to be that one day, but I think I'm still successful if I'm continuously able to be able to tell the stories that I want to tell. Whether that means still working at Adobe and doing that at the same time, um and just constantly growing in my craft, making bigger scale projects and like doing the parts that I want to do, that itself is successful, right? so No, I will actually say that as someone who I think like I've always been interested in writing and like filmmaking and stuff, but it took me a long time to like really get into it in like a consistent way.
01:06:19
Speaker
Because I think for me, I didn't really realize the joy and value of the pure act of expression. I would always think about it in terms of like, oh, I need to achieve something. Like I need to have like a short film done or I have to have like a work done to a certain and level of quality.
01:06:34
Speaker
And I feel like There is something to be said about just experimenting with something like when you have that itch and like through practice, like developing that, like understanding of like, oh, like there is something deeply and truly valuable about the act of expression in itself.
01:06:52
Speaker
And i would say to anyone like listening, like if there's something that has been on the back of your mind that you've always wanted to do and like maybe you thought you couldn't put in the proper amount of time to like fully accomplish it or anything like that.
01:07:04
Speaker
um I do think that even if you're not sure if that's what you're passionate about, that itch is there for a reason. There's a reason you feel driven to do that thing and not like a million other things that you could be doing in the world.
01:07:17
Speaker
And there's something to be said for just throwing yourself into it and just seeing if you can get something valuable out of it Worst case, you haven't really wasted that much time or anything, right? It's not like this is some huge commitment.
01:07:28
Speaker
But in the best case, you've found something that will add value and joy for your life for the rest of your life, right? So yeah, I do really like recommend try things out.
01:07:38
Speaker
It's also like, I mean, just like scientifically, like it's been shown that a passion isn't something you have. A passion is something that also develops through practice. So there is like an extent to which like you can never truly be passionate about something until you engage with it and develop that. Yeah. and It's a journey, right? Like you're maybe this isn't the exact thing you want to do for us. You're like, but like very well could help you figure out what that is by just like trying it. And like, stone yeah exactly. Yeah. And like, I think there's a huge value in reflection. Like you always should be looking back and like, like be mindful of what your journey is because
01:08:13
Speaker
yeah Um, like when I go back and like watch new normal and like, I'm watching, you know, cuts of my film right now, like I can see my growth and like you, you only can have that if you start somewhere. Right. And you just start doing it. So yeah, like, you know, make that podcast.
01:08:30
Speaker
that song like regardless of like whether or not that ends up being your passion like at the end of the day you will definitely learn something about yourself even if it's like i definitely don't want to do this shit ever again yeah like it's really like i hear what you said about like Learn how to enjoy the journey, the process, you know, of going through it versus being results oriented. I feel like that's been the biggest change in my life personally. was like, even like when I started learning guitar at the age of 13 or 14, whatever, like it was always, oh, I just want to learn how to play the song.
01:09:03
Speaker
And I didn't want to, didn't care about yeah any theory. I didn't care about like how to get there. Give me all the tools I need to play the song. That's it. That's how I kind of approached a lot of things in my life.
01:09:14
Speaker
Basically anything I did was with that same approach. whether it was art or whether was school or whatever, changing that to just how do you enjoy the process? How are you not miserable during the process yeah instead of being having such tunnel vision and only looking at at the end of it? yeah
01:09:32
Speaker
No, I 100% like feel the same way where it's like I'm still learning to like do that properly. Seeing like the steps I need to take to achieve ah goal, not as like an obligation, but as an opportunity to like enjoy like the whole full process and like gain something out of it.
01:09:47
Speaker
Good stuff, guys. Cool. All right, then I guess that's time. Thank you again, Vivek, for joining Of course, man. I had fun. yeah I don't know. yeah I didn't know we had time. My agent's getting mad at me because like i'm like you know kind of running over Scott.
01:09:59
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah. Get back to creating the cloud solutions.