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Anyway... Cheers To The Bride And Groom!
75 Plays3 years ago
In this bizarre episode of what's supposed to be a PRO WRESTLING PODCAST Garrett, Chris and Fax talk bare knuckle boxing, parenting and Richard Dreyfuss? Don't worry, wrestling does get discussed they're also chatting GCW at Pop's and in Indiana, Appalachian Championship Wrestling and what Nick Gage's best man speech at Jordan Oliver's wedding. Buckle up, this one gets weird. Enjoy!
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Transcript
Garret's Unexpected Home Events
00:00:35
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Predetermined, a Pro Wrestling Hangout. I'm your host, Garret Callender, and with me, as always, Chris Miggs and Jimmy Fax. Woo! We're doing it. Yeah. Confession up front. I did not watch the Teddy Hart thing, and I'll tell you why. It was supposed to be watched today. I had blocked off time. There was a little bit of trauma in the house. Do you tell?
Switch to Cloth Diapers: Challenges & Health Scare
00:01:05
Speaker
Um, throughout this, I'm going to say two words over and over again, as the story goes, or the word suck it. Cause normally stories when there's two words, that's what they are. Is it too sweet? It is penis hole. All right. Penis hole.
00:01:30
Speaker
So my wife and I today have used the words penis hole a hundred times. And so we just switched. These are parenting traumas. So we have just switched to try and use cloth diapers or the you know, the like washable like cloth diapers. And you're not you're not going to save the earth on your own. I got to tell you this.
00:01:55
Speaker
trying, trying bud, one penis hole at a time. But today, like it's not gone well. And today he was screaming so much all day long that it's like- Wait, can you at least just tell me before you get into the story, just so I know how trauma, is it at least the actual penis hole that we know and love and not like stigmata of the penis? Like an extra hole? Yeah, like additional holes.
00:02:24
Speaker
Like it's an accident you're seeing. Yeah, it's God's penis hole. The one that did our Lord and Savior. No, no, no. Please, sir. Please, sir. What are we? Doctors? It's a penis hole. So I go to change him and I'm looking and I'm like, hmm.
00:02:46
Speaker
your penis hole looks pretty red, which I said to a baby's face. He did not react back to me in a way that he did not understand, but I'm looking at it and I'm like, I don't think the penis hole is supposed to be that red. So as I'm standing there, I pull my own pants down and stare right down the barrel of my own guy. And as I'm looking at it, I'm like, no, no, penis hole is not supposed to be this red. Leah!
00:03:12
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, because you don't normally really give it that full like, like you're in the old west and in a duel with your own penis hole. You don't normally get that kind of, you know, normally, it's just like no news is good news, right? It's true. My penis and I have so few conversations. Like a lot of what we're talking is like, we don't see each other. It's phone, you know, it's 210 cans tied to a string, you know, it's right, we have conversations, but not face to face.
00:03:40
Speaker
Why do I feel like the only person whose penis hole is like that readily that red is Vince McMahon? I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud. But anyway, Garrett, I'm sorry. Because he's constantly shoving cocaine and steroids into his penis hole.
00:03:59
Speaker
just like does a line with it, like holds it. A little treat for Bentley. Ah, Stephanie, take a look at this. Look at how ripped it is. I think it has an elbow.
00:04:13
Speaker
Now that he lost his job over at WWE, he's gonna be down in Tijuana showing off his magic penis hole. $6 million of the NDAs really just relate to coke and the penis hole. That's, boronitis, check this out.
00:04:35
Speaker
But so, Leah does some Googling and what we found out, his horrified me all day. I wanna put myself in jail
Recap of Chaotic GCW Wrestling Event
00:04:44
Speaker
as a parent that I allowed this to happen. His penis essentially has a rug burn on the urethra. The cloth diaper.
00:04:59
Speaker
because his body's only been used to these sensitive skin diapers, and now we're just like, here is a piece of clothing that is coming in contact with your wet penis hole.
00:05:12
Speaker
And yeah, it is irritated. Can you imagine? Like that is a spot I wanna see in deathmatch. Like somebody brings out a little carpet and just gives you a little like right on the tip. Like I would be, like I, all day I've had shivers thinking about this. By the way, Jimmy Lloyd was listening to this and as soon as I said penis stigmata, he just spit water out of his mouth and immediately ran to get his notepad.
00:05:42
Speaker
Wait, are you watching the settlement series? As you said that, Jimmy Lloyd entered the room. That's why I thought you had it on. Like, basically, I said penis hole and he peeked out of the curtain. Matt, Matt Tremont is going to hit him with with just a bag full of cloth diapers. That's going to be the finish that's going to be. I should get that on here. I have a third screen. I'm going to get that off.
00:06:10
Speaker
Jimmy Lloyd does look like he is in a constant state of having a chafed penis hole, but it does not bother him. He's become accustomed to it. Well, that's where I hope Lynn Lea did the research of what happens when you grow up with this chronically. Is that how a Jimmy Lloyd is created? His parents were just like, no, saving the earth is more important than your erythral
Family-Friendly Wrestling Arena vs Culture Clash
00:06:34
Speaker
health.
00:06:35
Speaker
And then they end up with someone whose back looks like that and a child who looks easily 35 hard smoking years older than he is. Ozzy's in his room smoking a cigarette right now just to get his mind off of it. He's just like rocking back and forth. Listening to a lot of like mid 2000s emo. I need to let the listeners know
00:07:03
Speaker
that prior to the introduction of this show, Fax discussed feces for six minutes. And then I'm like, no, we aren't starting with that. We're starting with this. We're starting, this is a classy family podcast about pro wrestling. We talk about children's penises. So classy family podcast. Yesterday, GCW had their show,
00:07:31
Speaker
Sunday they had it in Jeffersonville, Indiana. Crazy introduction to this show, which is I guess the arena, like quotes arena that they were in, is a family friendly arena and they were requested not to swear. So the show starts with a Nick Gage entrance. And he's so, did the arena clearly didn't know what they were getting?
00:08:01
Speaker
I think they did. I think Davey Fax, it was gonna be MDK all friggin' day. Yup, yup. And he goes, cause I guess it was in, it was whatever arena that like Billy Starks got her start in. So like it is like a normal wrestling crowd of like people who are familiar with these wrestlers. But Nick Gage comes in and basically tells the crowd,
00:08:28
Speaker
This is a family event, so we're gonna do our best to keep it PG. And then he hands the microphone to Emil and is just like, figure out my entrance. He's the mother, frankly, best at this stuff. And it had the whole crowd. You can't take the Lord's name in vain. Can't take the Lord's name in vain.
00:08:55
Speaker
especially in Mike Pence country. Indiana, you are not, yeah. Do they let Jordan Oliver on the show? Because I'm pretty sure he just kind of is a swear word. Like, he feels like a person. Like, you're like, I just want to use the C word when I see his face involuntarily that comes out of my mouth. Well, like, was it just language or was the show sanitized in other ways?
00:09:25
Speaker
So it didn't seem like, there wasn't really room for- Were there any glass tubes? I don't think there could have been. I think the ring was way too close to the crowd to like comfortably do that, especially in a family environment. You're speaking as though they've never done a show in Boonton, New Jersey. I can tell you as someone who's in the front row there with Chris and our friend Tom, yeah, like literally,
00:09:53
Speaker
Um, some of the larger wrestlers, I don't think could have gotten through the ring with me and Tom there. That's how close it was. And there were funny glass tubes. They didn't go. No, I don't think went to tube heavy in Bhutan. Maybe there was one. Oh, yeah, you're right. It was it was barbed wire boards.
00:10:13
Speaker
There were some, there had to be some, no. In that, especially in the first one we went to in Boonton, that tag match, they were both bloody messes. We were in the second row for that one, Fax, we were very safe. I'm aware, but, you know, somebody was in the front row. So, the show itself was PG, though this was an interesting spot. There was a match where it was second gear crew,
00:10:44
Speaker
Um, with Sawyer wreck and Ali catch versus the bang bros and another team that I don't remember their name off the top of my head, but the match started with Ali and Sawyer wanting to make out.
Controversial Match: Sawyer Wreck & Ali Catch
00:11:01
Speaker
And just as they're about to make out the other team interrupts so that the crowd boos because they wanted to see that.
00:11:09
Speaker
And then, eventually, partway through the match, they just start making out. And then at the end, Sawyer Wreck drinks some beer and then spits it into Ally's mouth. Is that family entertainment? Yeah, I mean, you can, you share a big goblet of wine in church, right? Two women in a row? I don't see why not. That's how I always took communion. The priest is like, open up, baby bird.
00:11:41
Speaker
Yeah. Sorry that this has been such a weird start, guys. I'm not apologizing for any of this. I think, you know, you're welcome. We watched GCW on Saturday night together, Garrett, which featured the rematch no one needed. Tony Dappin and Jordan Oliver, because two hours just wasn't enough.
00:12:11
Speaker
So Chris, did you ever look up the runtime of that match? Because I did. Wait, I'm sorry, did you watch this match and then look at the runtime afterwards? Or the runtime of the match from Saturday. Yes, from Saturday, not the... I did not check the one on Saturday.
00:12:30
Speaker
31 minutes and 59 seconds. The fuck? You know, I knew it was pretty long, but I guess you and Derek are engaging and delightful because it wasn't that bad. It didn't feel like 32 minutes.
00:12:43
Speaker
No. Facts, can you fucking believe that? It was a pretty short show otherwise. I think part of it had to do with something though. So our buddy Tag was at the show, which happy 40th birthday to our buddy Tag. That was how he spent his 40th birthday was there. But he was a little concerned from the beginning of the show. He was messaging us that Sandman might be a little intoxicated.
00:13:10
Speaker
Oh, the hell you say. And basically the match was Los Massisos, second gear crew and two cold and Sandman. Sandman just basically never entered for the first half of it. The match was only seven. That's the way a lot of ECW matches went back in the day. That was the way Demon scripted it.
00:13:34
Speaker
maybe that was the plan here this match was only seven minutes long and Sandman took one spot and I'm like everybody's pretty sure he passed out like when you watch it he is he ragdolls after getting one move done to him and
00:13:55
Speaker
I don't know. Everybody said that like they were kind of concerned for him. Just like he was so wasted before the show even started that he might be the reason we watched 32 minutes of Tony Dappen and Jordan Oliver. Because it was supposed to be 20 minutes of Tony Dappen and Jordan Oliver and like 15 or 18 minutes of
00:14:13
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, six or I guess three-way tag match, that's something that plausibly usually would be at least 15 minutes long, right? I mean, and two out of those three teams are kind of in their prime, usually have really key prime spots on the ECW guard. You know, Sandman exposed himself at an ECW show once, and then also a few years ago said woman could never main event a wrestling show. And quite frankly, this might be the most offensive thing he's ever done.
00:14:44
Speaker
Well, even at that, when he showed up at Appalachian Wrestling, when we saw that at the BW3 parking lot.
00:14:51
Speaker
He didn't seem to work a match. I don't even think Appalachian paid him. I think the BW3s paid him. And they basically said, hey, when the show's over, go in the ring and just round up all the wrestlers. I don't even care about the fans. Just round up the wrestlers and get them all to go drinking at BW3s. And it's like, we're going to pay them each about 50 bucks for the show. They're going to drop about 125.
00:15:21
Speaker
with Sandman in tow each at the bar. So all of Appalachian Wrestling is an elaborate scheme to actually just increase the bar revenue at that BW3s. I've never heard it referred to as BW3, and I can't get enough of it. Because now it's just like, hey, this is EC3, BW3 at Appalachian Championship Wrestling here talking to Shane Douglas. Yeah.
00:15:52
Speaker
Yeah, it was kind of, and then the match ends and like Los Massisos and Too Cold Scorpio dance for a really long time, while Sandman finally gets up and sits in a folding chair in the corner. It's Scorpio, because Scorpio, especially after watching him on Dark Side of the Ring,
00:16:11
Speaker
Doesn't strike me as the type of person that's just gonna calmly be like, oh well, that's just Sandman being Sandman. You know, he strikes me more as a, I'm gonna kill that motherfucker, because this is interrupting my shit and my next booking. All he would have to do if he wanted to kill him, he wouldn't have to do it himself, drag him outside of Pops and leave him without a ride.
00:16:39
Speaker
So just because Scorpio needed to go Teddy Hart on the Sandman. Oh, God. Oh.
Nick Gage's Comeback Highlight Match
00:16:49
Speaker
I would say the main event, which was Gage defending against Cole Radrick. Now, this is a very low bar, but was the best of the three Nick Gage comeback matches so far. He it felt like a Nick Gage match. It wasn't a classic for some reason.
00:17:06
Speaker
Uh, Radrick had a shirt that said MDC murder death Cole, which just seemed so sad. And like, all I could think of was like, I never really thought about his name before, but all I could think of was now this, that song from mr. Holland's Opus. Cause the kid, the deaf kid is named Cole and just mr. Holland just singing to Cole Radrick and murder death. Cole just seemed so.
00:17:31
Speaker
I don't know, it just seemed wrong somehow. But the match itself was good. I don't think it would be hard, at this point in his career, I don't think it would be hard to get Richard Dreyfuss to a GCW show. I think we could even get him to the Buffalo Wild Wings. He is going to be just as wasted as Sandman. And they are gonna recreate the boat scene from, you know, the scene from Jaws where they're sitting around drinking, showing each other their scars. Beastman can play the shark.
00:17:59
Speaker
But you're just saying we bring him to GCW to play Cole Radrick's dad. By the way, did I mention I actually did finally catch the Appalachian Rumble on Apple?
Appalachian Rumble Review & Atmosphere
00:18:12
Speaker
Oh, I did too. I did too. Can we just talk about this for a second? I know we're just going back. But so it's called a
00:18:22
Speaker
First of all, it's called Season 2, Episode 5. Don't know what any of that means. Very intrigued. They refer to it as the Appalachian Rumble, which is in the title of the video.
00:18:36
Speaker
It says, with barnyard bunkhouse rules, which appear to be totally normal over the top battle royals. It's just a battle royal. It was just a totally normal battle royal. Everyone does their entrances. There's none of the quote unquote stars. There's no Beastman. There's no Shane Douglas. There's no Sandman. There's nobody you've ever heard of in this. And some of them like address the camera, at least with the walking by, which I found nice. One guy informed us that he was the best wrestler
00:19:06
Speaker
in Appalachian Wrestling. And I'm not going to say whether he won the battle royal or not, but he did. So I guess, I guess he is.
00:19:18
Speaker
But also, it was clearly around Halloween time. There was a Michael Myers in the crowd. There's a little girl dressed up as a witch in character as a witch at ringside, even though she's right at ringside. And I would say that there was way more people in the barn than I had seen, and it's a really lively crowd.
00:19:40
Speaker
We get a little bit more clarity on the older woman. It looks like you know, we've talked before about its grandma and grandson And it starts again with grandma and grandson and they're yelling at the wrestlers and then by the end of it at some point There is more of like a middle but like a younger middle-aged woman Kind of just sitting between them like with a little look of a resignation on her who I'm guessing that's mom right? So we had three generations mom didn't appear to be yelling at
00:20:09
Speaker
at the wrestlers, but she definitely looked like she had a few barnyard drinks. I want to make best friends with grandma. That's that's like once we get to the show, we've got to find grandma. We've just got to say, look, you're you're a legend to us.
00:20:22
Speaker
We've been watching you on video and we just, we want to yell at wrestlers with you. Well, and you know what? And she can take it too. Cause some of the wrestlers, you can hear them, right? The camera's right there and they're like, they're like, go to, go back to the nursing home, grandma. And she just rolls with it and just gives it right back. So she can go. She's a, she's a tough lady. Grandma is the mittens of West Virginia. But she's so much cooler and I want to hang out with her. And, but just generally the vibe in there.
00:20:51
Speaker
Like, they were blowing the roof off. And like, I think it started a little bit as a goof with this obsession with Appalachian, and it was like kind of learning about Beastman's roots. With each passing thing I watch, I legitimately, desperately want to see a show there. And now it's kind of getting to the point where it's like, when I go to Mexico, I kind of want to see one show at Arena Mexico, and one at Arena Colosseo. And now it's like,
00:21:19
Speaker
I think we need to reach out to the Appalachian people and be like, is there ever a time you're doing one in the barn and then another one at the BW3's parking lot? Like, can we be here for all of season three, whenever that is, we will pay whatever it takes. I will personally stop in Philly to pick up the Sandman and drive him the rest of the way. I'm willing to do that.
00:21:43
Speaker
I bet if we offered to sponsor, paid a little money, we could even get commentary. Look guys, we got to pay, we got to do one weekend. We're coming down. How much money does it take to make sure that there's both a Barnyard show and a BW3 show in the same weekend? And if they say no, we just find their next show and just show up.
00:22:11
Speaker
with Sandman and Balls Mahoney, and just see him say no then. We paid- I have bad news for you about Balls. Was that Garrett? I said, we just show up, we bring some wrestlers and invade. What are they gonna do? Say no to bringing Jimmy Lloyd into this match? He's fucking famous, guys. This guy was in a Nero movie. You're not gonna let him wrestle- Two of the Nero movies. Two of the Nero movies.
00:22:41
Speaker
I was seeing facts, if you're looking to pick them up, I have really bad news for you about Balls Mahoney. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. I just tried to come up with, I literally did spend about eight seconds while I was speaking vamping, trying to think of ECW wrestlers that aren't dead and it's hard. I was like, can you, oh, nope. They already got the franchise. I feel like Blue Meanie would want, if we called up Blue Meanie and we're like,
00:23:11
Speaker
Hey, you wanna drive to Virginia with us? He'd be like, yeah, sure, sounds nice. I remember you guys, you guys were pleasant. He would love it. He would love, and you know what? So would the West Virginia people. They love Blue World Order out there. I mean, the one thing is, if we're in my car, it's, you know, you can do the thing where on the steering wheel, while someone's talking, you can kind of casually, without them totally noticing, turn the volume up.
00:23:40
Speaker
But my stereo only goes so loud. I don't think we could fully drown out the Blue Meanie. And I feel like if we picked him up in Philly, we would probably violently kick him out of the car by Delaware. Where's Blue Meanie? I don't know. It's a wah-wah somewhere.
00:24:04
Speaker
I will also say I just cash your ear off. I loved like the mix of guys in the Appalachian Rumble because some of the guys seemed like they were working like towards being really professional wrestlers.
Appalachian Wrestling: Professionalism & Background
00:24:15
Speaker
Sure. And there were some guys who looked like they were like, I've put my shorts on. I guess it's time to wrestle. I've had I've had retraining sessions and I'm ready for this battle. Well, like it definitely seemed like the teeny, the preteen witch
00:24:34
Speaker
had a better gimmick than some of the guys. And I thought he probably worked better. Because there's just some guys that are like, I'm just wearing my jeans. And that's it.
00:24:44
Speaker
Well, also maybe with the lack of commentary, but with one, there was like a large man in pink and that seemed to be his gimmick. There wasn't anything else. He was just very large and wearing pink. I think he might have been in Beastman war games. I could be wrong. Oh, I've definitely seen. Now, again, at this point, I've watched a fair amount of Appalachian wrestling. So I probably just saw him in another Appalachian wrestling and that was VCW with Beastman war games and maybe not.
00:25:09
Speaker
So you have seen enough at this point. Have you retained a single name of a wrestler? Well, there's no name to retain, right? Because there's no commentary. There's no like, but yeah, right. So it's like they're chanting beast man beast man husk husk husk. So you got that one.
00:25:30
Speaker
But that's it. Right. You know who Shane Douglas is and they do have a ring announcer. So actually, that's not true. There is. I'm trying to think there's the main guys like it's like Adam Bravo or something like that. They have one guy that seems like he actually could be a pro like he seems like somebody who like if if Matt Justice just completely just
00:25:58
Speaker
went into a coma, and they just needed a replacement Matt Justice for a few months. They got one guy that could probably do an acceptable version of it. He looks like if Matt Justice had a baby with Guy Fieri. Oh, Bishop. There you go. Josh Bishop. Oh, no, like he was a Southern Underground pro guy. Yeah, I've seen him wrestle a bunch.
00:26:25
Speaker
But that's what I'm saying. He's on pretty much every show. I think he's their champ currently. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Googling to see if we can get an ACW roster. Oh, we can. Oh, no, that's anarchy. No, that's not the one we want. I can't even get a website for them.
00:26:46
Speaker
While you're looking that up, I do still have the settlement series on, and there was a man in the ring who kinda looked like a lawyer. So part of me wonders, is this show gonna air again on IWTV, or will GCW give a major fuck you at some point during this show that IWTV pulls it? Is it not the CPA? Is that who I'm looking at?
00:27:13
Speaker
I could, there is a guy, the CPA, the wrestling CPA, so he could be the guy, but I don't have, I can pull up IWTV. There is basically no one in attendance at this, by the way. And it's at Tremont's facility, which, sorry, not to, just speaking of Tremont's facility, have you like followed anything, what's going on with Tremont and Sawyer Rec?
00:27:42
Speaker
No, although before you do that, I will confirm it is the CPA on my screen right now. Oh, OK. That at least makes sense. But you got a long promo, I could tell. But Tremont and Sawyer Rec have been cutting promos and promoting a match the day after Christmas that I'm very excited about. It's Tremont's final no rope barbed wire match.
00:28:07
Speaker
And it's going to be him and Sawyer wreck, no rope, barbed wire, and 200 light tubes. Where's this happening? Uh, at Tremont H2O facility. So it's going to be live on IWTV the day after Christmas. And I'm like, I'm very pumped for that main event. That sounds very fun.
00:28:31
Speaker
I mean, if you got to run against WWE doing a house show at Madison Square Garden the day after Christmas, the answer is clearly Sawyer wreck and Matt Tremont 200 light tubes. Um, is like, you know, is Tremont going to have like an ambulance there? Is that part of the deal or, um,
00:28:54
Speaker
I saw it's BYOB, I didn't see what the ambulance situation was. Now what's, BYOB, what's the, what's the B? Is that, is B barbed wire or? That could mean, yeah. That's, that, yeah, I don't know.
00:29:14
Speaker
Facts, are you still looking up this roster? Have you memorized it yet? Now I just fell down a quick hole in their Facebook. It just seems like, so there's no information on the roster. There's no information. They do have a lot of pictures of random wrestling shows that aren't theirs. So the Facebook page for Appalachian Championship Wrestling is either
00:29:36
Speaker
It's like Shane Douglas doesn't know how technology works. Somebody logged into Facebook on his phone one day and then never logged him out. And he has no idea that he's been using that as his personal account for months. That's the most likely possibility because otherwise possibility too is someone's just following Shane Douglas around.
00:29:59
Speaker
posting whatever he does and posting it to this page, even though it seems to have nothing to do with Appalachian Wrestling. I think that's kind of genius. And honestly, that might be what we need to do with this website is we get the site going and post episodes of other people's podcasts that people like more than this one. I thought you were going to say, we just start following around Dale Torborg.
00:30:25
Speaker
And we just, we try to get him to log into our Facebook page on his phone and then just hope that he doesn't know how to log out and log back in and this ends himself. And just hope there's just not too many dick pics. Like within a, I've got a little bit of Paul maybe if we can get, I think we can get past a couple of dick pics before we get pulled, but
00:30:51
Speaker
What's our website? There's no rules? Like all I got is Twitter. Oh, I was saying again, just literally following them, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, whatever Dale Torborg knows how to use, we'll make sure he's logged into our accounts on. I might just do that with my personal account if we don't want to use that for the show.
00:31:13
Speaker
So was this Rumble show that you watched, were there other matches? Was it just the Rumble? Were you seeing everybody who competed in the Rumble at the end of the night? Was it good? Was it worth watching?
00:31:28
Speaker
No, it was not good. No, yeah, it was fun. I think it would be great to be there in person. But and some again, some Appalachian wrestling is fully doable. This was definitely the worst wrestling you're going to see an Appalachian wrestling because it was just getting too much of a ratio of guys that clearly aren't going to make it in this business and aren't really serious about it. The joy was in the barnyard energy.
00:31:54
Speaker
The barnyard energy, that's exactly right. The crowd, the 13th man in the crowd. That's really where it was at. The real energy came from a town that looked like they've outlawed dancing. And this is... Yeah, but this is okay. It's like a loophole. They're not allowed to curse. They're not allowed to dance.
00:32:21
Speaker
but this somehow is okay. And it's the only place where a little girl is allowed to dress like a witch. No, she's dead now. They burnt her in the parking lot. They thought she was an actual witch afterwards. They were like, holy shit. Rest in peace. That was very sad. Shit. Did you guys watch any other wrestling this last week? Probably.
00:32:49
Speaker
I mean, currently I'm behind me and I'm pretty sure I watched it actually the other day, too, is the one of the first Owen Hart matches in WWE, the Blue Blazer against Barry Horowitz. It's a delight. Young, young Owen is spectacular. I don't know if you've never gone and watched some of the like the 1998 Owen is worth seeing. What show would that have been on?
00:33:17
Speaker
I think this is at the Boston garden, maybe, but there was a bunch of, I mean, they, they wrestled each other a bunch of times on the house shows. So, and, and the matches are fairly similar. Like if you watch the one from the metal lands or Philly, um, you've, you're okay with, you just pick one. Um, but yeah, I think this is on, uh, it's gotta be on the network. Cause this is an episode of prime time now.
00:33:43
Speaker
So it's on behind me, of course, because I am again, once again, Sean Mooney in the control center. It's yes, it's got to be it's got to be on the network like September 88 primetime. If you're just looking for something to watch. I recommend it's always an infinite amount of wrestling that you have not seen. It's it's kind of beautiful.
00:34:06
Speaker
Hey, so speaking of wrestling, you haven't seen, right? So one of the themes of the show for the last few weeks has been how much, how they just surplus this, this manna from heaven, this bounty of things on fight plus, right? And every day there's more stuff on fight plus. And I know we'll get to that, but you know, in the news it's been talking about that both WWE raw.
00:34:28
Speaker
as well as AEW Rampage have both had historically bad television ratings. And I'm wondering, is that a coincidence? Now a lot of the hardcores, there's a lot of alternatives. I talked about how I don't have time to prioritize watching things like Raw.
00:34:46
Speaker
But now that there's fight TV plus, I mean, I'm even kind of fast forwarding through dynamite where I'm like, you tell me when to stop, you show me when to stop. Otherwise, I'm watching some random something on Fight Plus. This weekend, Saturday from one to midnight,
Fight TV+ vs Nostalgic TV Marathons
00:35:10
Speaker
was like, do you remember you got home from school on a Friday? It was TGIF night. You got a pizza from Pizza Hut. You got to watch Family Matters. You saw step by step hanging with Mr. Cooper all in a row and it was glorious. Sure. That was Saturday night from one o'clock to midnight on Fight TV+. We were children again.
00:35:37
Speaker
When I got to watch every part of the week, bare knuckle box each other in the UK, I lived up to my promise from last week. I may not have watched Teddy Hart, but I watched these fuckers punch each other in the face with their bare fists and I don't like, did either of you see like a second of any of it? I watched some, I watched a little bit of the bare knuckle boxing. As facts predicted, it did not take me too long to turn it off.
00:36:07
Speaker
Although I did get to see your your part of the week, the guy in the Miami in Miami who was commenting and I was expecting him to have a British accent and he did not have a British accent. He had a just like the most hilarious possible voice for someone who was commentating on bare knuckle boxing.
00:36:29
Speaker
So the guy that was doing the talking head in between the show was, I mean, what would you guess that man's age was? 65 to 70? Yeah, at least in his 60s, but he tells people he's 43. Jet black hair. Well maybe he's related to Jimmy Lloyd. It's JL's dad! James Lloyd Sr.
00:36:57
Speaker
No, but he's it's the flip. He's he's been like injecting Botox facts. He's got his hair. It's like Jimmy's Jimmy's like aging up clearly. And this guy is doing his damnedest to age down.
00:37:10
Speaker
And maybe I'm realizing this about Jimmy Lloyd now. He got a little taste of the De Niro experience, but he was like seven. And he's like, well, I'm never gonna get big shawring rolls as a seven year old. So he immediately started smoking heavily, dipping, doing anything he could to age himself up.
00:37:32
Speaker
And then fell into hardcore wrestling and next thing he knew, you know, he was in his mid twenties and he looked 50 and, um,
00:37:43
Speaker
You know, DeNiro hasn't made a hit movie in decades. He's going to be. And he's like when he sees Richard Dreyfus show up, he's going to be like, yes, it's finally time for Jimmy. And he's like, oh, no. Oh, he's playing Cole Radric's dad. They're going to have a weird moment where Cole Radric cries and it like cures him of deathmatch wrestling because of his dad's like finally his dad loves him. So he doesn't have to get hit with light tubes anymore.
00:38:09
Speaker
And then Sawyer Rack is going to come out and hit both of them with a light tube. It's going to be great.
Celebrity Involvement: Richard Dreyfuss at Wrestling
00:38:13
Speaker
But yeah, he's not here for you, Jimmy. I'm sorry.
00:38:17
Speaker
I thought it was gonna be like, he turns around, he sees Richard Dreyfuss, he's like, Jimmy, I've been buying every pay-per-view. I saw the romance scene you did with Sumi Sakai in Boonton. And there is an indie role for you in Hollywood. Come with me. It's going to A24. You're gonna, like, this is your Oscar year, Jimmy.
00:38:42
Speaker
See, and I'm on a different page than both of you guys, where I'm like, we're gonna turn around, we're gonna be at the show, we turn around, and then we just see shirtless, drunk out of his mind Richard Dreyfuss just being like, Beastman, Beastman, husk, husk, husk! Beastman's not even in the ring, right? He's just like, he doesn't even remember why he's there, he's just entranced by the whole experience, and he's all in.
00:39:09
Speaker
All he knows is that he has to make the pilgrimage to Bhutan as well. It's us, it's Richard Dreyfus. We've been drinking all day. Maybe we played some games across the street. He flipped the Monopoly table.
00:39:30
Speaker
Uh, but well, that's the things we'll get, we'll, we'll get, we'll get the monopoly tournament at the elk sludge on the condition that we can get Richard Dreyfus. Right. Then we're going to bring some legitimacy to JCW superstars. The, and then, and then we can invite Shane Douglas too, so that the entire thing will be documented on the Appalachian wrestling Facebook feed.
00:40:00
Speaker
He's really just an incredible documentarian and he doesn't even know it. It's just because his cell phone camera's been running for the last four years, live streaming everything like he's in the Truman Show. We're gonna find out like a year from now because they have a definitive proof of who killed Kennedy that came from that Facebook feed.
00:40:26
Speaker
It's revealed, Sheen brothers just did a show in Dallas, casually visited the book observatory, which is a museum now, like between shows and just in the background took some pictures that just clearly show. And it wasn't Oswald. It was, I don't know. It's revealed on an episode of Appalachian Exposรฉ in which he's interviewing Doug Gilbert.
00:40:56
Speaker
And there's 250 views and no one thought to like pass this on to the government to like crack the case. That's the Appalachian Exposรฉ I want because I want him, I want Shane to talk to Richard Dreyfus and I want to know whether Richard Dreyfus thought Sean Michaels or Ric Flair was more of a dick to Shane Douglas in the 90s. That's the opinion I want him to weigh in on. Listen, now I got another idea. I was all wrong with Philly.
00:41:26
Speaker
We're in the Northeast. We tell the Appalachian people, we're gonna bring Vince. He's gonna be on Appalachian Expose. I think he would do gangbusters there. I think he was always jealous of Ted Turner with his Southern wrestling. I think that that's, you know, Vince, while he's from Connecticut, he grew up in a trailer, right? That's the wrestling he loves.
00:41:52
Speaker
And he's, I mean, look, I'm sure he's got a non-compete for a few more months, but eventually you got to think Vince wants to be in the wrestling business and what better way than to purchase a promotion that's already on its way up.
00:42:10
Speaker
He's just like, I wouldn't do, I'm not gonna have you do anything I wouldn't do. Beastman does a belly flop onto him. Vince like shits his just like absolute intestines out onto the floor. Like his, yeah, sorry. Beastman, you're great. You've got everything a champion needs. We just need you to lose a couple of pounds. Have you thought about cocaine? No, no, no, Beastman. Not with your nose. Oh no.
00:42:39
Speaker
the way you ever heard of. Not with that. With your penis hole. This show's stupid.
00:42:59
Speaker
but okay so we were on a tangent back to PUD Miami
Bare-Knuckle Boxing: Realities & Aftermath
00:43:06
Speaker
PUD who is the shows in the UK he's in the Miami he's in Miami cuz they won't invite him to the UK he's not allowed in
00:43:15
Speaker
where this man is in Miami is clearly an Airbnb that he has broken into because there's like a fucking starfish painting behind him on the wall that you only get it like a Florida Airbnb. No one's buying that shit for their own house. It is, that was wonderful. And then what I have learned is that every time somebody came in the ring and I'm like, oh, he's gonna win. He's the tough boy in this one. Never the person who you think is gonna win.
00:43:46
Speaker
But unlike boxing, I don't know, there's something about this, because somebody leaves hurt. Somebody leaves like really hurt. And both people enter like they're super badass. And one always leaves looking so sad and defeated and they kind of look like a pussy. Yeah, Garrett, I don't know if you've watched real boxing, but usually the loser gets very, very hurt.
00:44:12
Speaker
But not in the first 30 seconds from getting punched straight in the nose with a bare fist. It's interesting because I watched Creed 2 on Friday night and there's a line in that movie where Sylvester Stallone speaking about his fight with Ivan Drago in Russia, in which of course his character ends the Cold War, says, the guy broke things in me that ain't never been fixed.
00:44:38
Speaker
And I feel like every bare knuckle boxer has the exact same experience. There's like a large Viking man who is breaking, like you talk about the one guy and I watched that fight with Garrett where this one guy came out with his kid and he was all like happy wearing like just regular shorts and a very, very large man who looked kind of like Brock Lesnar just beat the shit out of him.
00:45:04
Speaker
Brock Lesnar man literally had the sword tattoo aimed towards his penis just like Brock Lesnar. Yeah, like if you if you stepped foot into a Starbucks and they said there's four people working there and you're like three of them are trying to be actors and one of them is also a bare knuckle fighter. I don't think it's going to take you very long to figure out which one is which.
00:45:35
Speaker
The one that just clearly has a dent in his head, like somebody who's just like, oh, is me. Well, I felt all I get have after having watched Creed two and spoilers, guys, for a four year old movie, if you haven't seen it. But it did just that that movie ends with part of the end is is Ivan Drago hugging his boxer son and letting him know that he's enough, essentially. And it really just did feel like all of them just needed
00:46:04
Speaker
their own Ivan Drago dad moment. Everyone just needed, like if you lose, like that should be the, it should be like the code of honor, you know, the code of honor. It's like, we start every match with a handshake and we end every match with a handshake. You should start every match with a handshake and you should end every match with your dad hugging the dad hugging the loser. I think though we've actually figured it out, right?
00:46:28
Speaker
professional boxers that are going to be maybe millionaires and on HBO versus the bare knuckle boxers is the bare knuckle boxers are the ones that had no father figures of any kind, right? Whereas the boxers at least had Don King, right? It's a step up from zero for at least the first few years.
00:46:53
Speaker
Where would you rather be though? Would you rather be on HBO or fight TV? You know, like it's just, it's a little grittier. It's a little more indie. You get more street cred. Do you think like, you know, the way that like, when, when Netflix started making original programming and people, it was like a joke. It was like, Oh, you know, the guy from the Sopranos is doing a show on Netflix. Like what the fuck, right? Is that, and now Netflix is like, they've won Oscars. It's like,
00:47:22
Speaker
you want to be on Netflix. Is that what Fight TV becomes? Like ESPN is going to be a thing of the past. Fight TV is going to be everything. Yeah, that's why I want to get in ahead of this. The whole time that I was smashing rum and watching this, all I thought is these announcers are useless. We have something to bring to the table to this, which is no knowledge of the sport.
00:47:50
Speaker
None needed. None needed. Like I think our genuine reactions to these fucking guys who mostly look like Nazis from like an episode of Sons of Anarchy come in, beat the piss out of each other till one is crying.
00:48:05
Speaker
and we comment on it. Here's a question. UFC had legitimate fight announcers, went nowhere. They get the guy from Fear Factor and Catskills Comedy Clubs, boom, overnight success. He was the only one from News Radio available, like Andy Dick was in jail. They asked all of them. That's hard to believe that Dave Foley turned down a job.
00:48:36
Speaker
I don't know about that. If if the three of us and one of the kids in the hall get to do commentary on bare knuckle boxing, I feel like my life would be complete. That would be like the happiest moment of my whole life. I thought you could say us and more attorney. But yeah, I mean, I have Kevin McDonald's email, so I can. I'll just reach out, I'll say, look, Kevin, I know you guys have been working on new kids in the hall stuff, but if you've got a few minutes,
00:49:06
Speaker
I'm, I think, I think you got to come announce some bare knuckle boxing with us. And I think his response would be, who are you again? We should probably promote it too, because you know what?
00:49:25
Speaker
we kinda knew they weren't gonna actually kill Ric Flair in a wrestling match. But you put Ric Flair in a bare knuckle boxing match. Oh, then Jeff Jarrett might actually kill him. But here's the question, here's my question for you. Jarrett was in great shape when he took his shirt off on AW. It's true. It's in that shape of his career. Here's my question for you, Garrett.
Commentary: Bare-Knuckle vs Slap Fighting
00:49:47
Speaker
Would you rather us announce bare knuckle boxing or slap fighting? Fuck.
00:49:54
Speaker
So slap fighting was more Appalachian championship wrestling. As much as I would like to do Appalachian, I really think the amount of joy I got out of the bare knuckle boxing was next level. The slap fighting is silly.
00:50:14
Speaker
but also leads to brain damage in its own way. You know those guys are getting popped in the ear. Their eardrum has to be toast by the end of one of those. And the first one I watched went 20 rounds. Yeah, they go disturbingly long. It is disturbing. At least slap him as hard as, apparently, Kevin Rowan slapped Owen Roman Reigns. Roman Reigns could not go 20 rounds of that shit. I promise you that.
00:50:45
Speaker
And I just want to point out we did talk about current wrestling for just at least 10 seconds. Major current wrestling. That's what meets this episode now.
00:50:56
Speaker
back back to back to Richard Dreyfus back to you drinking for nine hours here because I was I was actually surprised because I hopped on to what she said with you and you told me you'd been drinking for that period time and I was like Garrett seems relatively sober were you drinking like a lot of water or is watching men get slapped and like punched with bare knuckles like oddly sobering like yeah yeah yeah like
00:51:24
Speaker
I mean, by the end of GCW, when I stood up to move around, life was a lot harder. But in those moments of just sitting and consuming, seeing these men, especially, okay, you mentioned the Viking guy and the guy with his kid. Viking guy comes out to a, I wanna say he came out to like walk. He may have came out to Pantera or something.
00:51:48
Speaker
sad man with his kid comes out to literally be a sad boy country song like a my dog died the train hit my truck I'm about to get my ass beat in front of my step kid or something you know I don't know what the song was but like he's holding a little boy's hand who daddy is looking
00:52:08
Speaker
in a fucking end boss. And his kid has to sit there and watch his dad get his ribs broken. Like, daddy's pissing blood later. And he could hear daddy whimpering in the bathroom. That was actually the name of the country song. Daddy pissing blood later. Yeah, that should be child endangerment, right? Like that, that shouldn't be legal for like, if it was just
00:52:32
Speaker
a random guy bringing a child to that, we'd be like, yeah, that's illegal. But it's so much worse when it's his actual dad, right? You're basically trying to reenact the most traumatic scenes in various Rocky movies. Like there is footage right now that that kid is gonna be able to use in court against his father.
00:52:59
Speaker
He was one of the few people who didn't get knocked out or had to quit. It went the full three rounds with that guy. When that kid tells his therapist about that story, the therapist immediately be like, look, I didn't want to have to do this, but we're going to need to meet again tomorrow and probably the day after that.
00:53:22
Speaker
And by the way, and then when they make the movie about that, obviously the therapist played by Richard Dreyfuss, the patient, Jimmy Lloyd. And that's how Jimmy Lloyd eventually does make it back. He wins an Oscar. Directed by Bobby De Niro. Bobby De Niro, who at that point is like,
00:53:47
Speaker
you know, needs one of those talking machines. He's like 97. But he couldn't die. And then he dies. The movie comes out and he dies happy the next day. He's just been waiting. Yeah, he'd been waiting for Jimmy to come back. He's been like, Jimmy, ever since I met you when you were seven.
00:54:07
Speaker
I've, well, I haven't wanted to kiss you. I know that other lady wanted to kiss you. That was pretty weird. But I've just wanted to direct you in a movie. And now you seem ready. You seem ready. It turns out that when Jimmy Lloyd's outside of these GCW shows smoking cigarettes, it's not just because he needs the nicotine. It's that actually he has a 45 minute long phone call with Bobby D every single night after his match.
00:54:33
Speaker
He was the William Regal to Lloyd's MJF. But instead of being ready for him to take the AEW title, what he's ready for is for him to act again. It's a moment that's coming. And then, actually, you said that he's going to die happy because it will be Jimmy Lloyd that murders Robert De Niro with a pair of breast knuckles. Yes. That's an end. I love the idea that he might still have his phone number.
00:55:04
Speaker
And then he's just like, Hey, I was watching meet the fuckers on stars thinking about you and he nothing back. Just a text and nowhere. But he still calls him like Uncle Jake or like whatever DeNiro's character name was in those movies.
00:55:22
Speaker
Cause it's like the same way that like when you call somebody something, when you're a kid, you can never call them anything else, right? It's not like at some point the guy's like, Oh, it's not, it's not uncle rich. It's rich. It's like, no, no, you're uncle rich forever. That's where it's like, he's just Jake. Cause he was, did you guys see the rehearsal, Nathan Fielder?
00:55:43
Speaker
Yeah. On HBO. It's just kind of like that. Like he was the kid that was confused and thought Nathan Fielder was his real dad. That was a young Jimmy Lloyd with Robert De Niro. He is maybe the one wrestler that I feel like Nathan Fielder could fool.
00:56:01
Speaker
and get a whole episode of just him. And maybe he has, right? We find out that this is his real long-form Opus is Jimmy Lloyd's entire life. Jimmy Lloyd's Mr. Holland's Opus, if you will. Oh, fuck. This is a...
00:56:25
Speaker
Is there any real wrestling that we're excited about coming up? Is there anything good happening in real life? I mentioned Sawyer Wreck, but I don't know. I've intentionally, by the way, put a brakes on catching up on New Japan because the more New Japan I watch, the less excited I get for January 4th.
00:56:48
Speaker
So I figure this will maximize, and I'll get excited for Kenny Omega, and I'll get excited for FTR, don't get me wrong. So I would say that's pretty big. I mean, I'm down to the part in World Tag League where I basically just fast forward to the Aussie Open matches to see if they won. That's about it. I skipped the junior shows. I'll check in for the, I'm sure the finals gonna be fine.
00:57:18
Speaker
I, again, I like a little bit of new, but I'm with you facts. You gotta be, you gotta be careful with your new Japan intake. Um, you gotta skip some, some stretches here. Cause I do think this is, you gotta prepare yourself for. And like, they're like the, like the old school mentality of like, don't even have the wrestlers touch until the pay-per-view. New Japan is the polar opposite of that, right? Like maybe they're like J white maybe isn't actually wrestling on every show per se, but like,
00:57:48
Speaker
they pretty much have the top guys, like whoever the, or the guys fighting each other at wrestle kingdom will wrestle in various iterations every fucking day for two months leading up to it. Well, isn't that kind of WWE is like done that forever though, right? Where it's just like,
00:58:10
Speaker
two guys are going to fight, but they're also in a six man for the next three months. It's different though, because it's like if WWE aired all their house shows, like, and especially even like when new Japan isn't sort of in the house show mode, like the undercard of all these world tag league things, like there's like,
00:58:30
Speaker
Yeah, like Taichi and Takagi are going to wrestle each other for the KOPW at the next Taka Taichi thing. And like every morning I would just like I would just start with that match. They were going to tag match against each other every morning and I would just put it on while it was like making tea. And then they would hit each other a few times. They would yell. And it was like, oh, yeah, they're going to have a match. That was the repeated point every morning. Was that they're going to have a match soon.
00:59:00
Speaker
It was not necessary, really. What about what about Despy? Does Despy have anything good on the horizon? Is he going to kill himself somewhere? I wonder what his Takataichi match is, because he I mean, he's in the junior four way at Wrestle Kingdom. I mean, we've all seen this before. I let stop me if you've heard this. He's going to wrestle Hiromu and Taiji Ishimori. Crazy, right? And they're going to add Master Wato, which
00:59:29
Speaker
That's what we've really all been waiting for. I think he's got a weird match coming up. For some reason, even though I knew it, I had forgotten that it's Jay White Okada again. And then I was watching the show and I remember that and I'm like, what? That's again. It's like. Again.
00:59:53
Speaker
They're literally putting, if you look at the front page of New Japan World, the big graphic is not J-White and Okada anymore. It's Kenny and Osprey. To me, that's very clearly the main event. Do you think it goes on last?
01:00:13
Speaker
I don't know about that. That's that's the big question. But it's definitely going on next to last. And yeah, that's kind of like the year that I went when it was Okada versus Naito. The crowd was much more excited for Jericho versus Omega. And then, you know, that went on right before. So I don't know. I I think they're just going to put something on last that people don't give a shit about that much.
01:00:42
Speaker
I don't even remember what happened on AWW last week. I don't remember. Yeah. Oh, oh. Hangman came back. That was exciting. Yes. Hangman and Moxley. I'm super into that. I like, um, I like Moxley calling him a pussy. I feel like that's what would happen in real life in that scenario. I feel like, like when you go to the bare knuckle boxing,
01:01:09
Speaker
And one of them had to go to the hospital because of a concussion after a fight. I feel like absolutely the next two times those guys see each other, the waiter calls the loser a pussy. So you go to the hospital, you know what you do for a concussion, you sleep it off. Yeah. My wife doesn't even get any concussion. I hit her twice as hard as you. Ask my kid, he's seen it.
01:01:38
Speaker
I think this is funny. I think, I think we're at the main event of this GCW settlement series and the biggest fuck you to IWTV is happening as we speak, which is Jordan Oliver headlining the final show. He might've been the only one that's been on every show.
01:02:06
Speaker
Cause he's a good guy.
Nick Gage's Potential Wedding Speech
01:02:07
Speaker
I feel like if we ended up with him, like he's, I feel bad about the things I've said to him. Well, I think he's like that guy that like sometimes, especially when you're younger, you have in the group of friends that the one that's just like, he, he means well, he's trying. He's just, he's just not, you know, the sharpest, he's not the brightest crayola in the box. You know, like just.
01:02:33
Speaker
He needs a little help. And when you look at him from the outside, you can understand why other people are like, he sucks. But then when he's one of your guys, you're like, he's trying. Well, it's like eventually he's going to get to the point where his faction name, he like ages out of it. So we got to take young out. He's on enough of these GCW shows. He's got some money in his pocket. So his faction name now is just dumb.
01:03:00
Speaker
and then he can team up with the young bucks who can't use the young and they're the dumb bucks. Oh, see now there is gonna be something there that could get him over with me. He looks like he could be a distant Jackson maybe.
01:03:16
Speaker
I feel, I have this weird feeling, the way you're talking about him, facts, I feel like Nick Gage is gonna give a speech at Jordan Oliver's wedding, and it's gonna be one of those things where he's, Nick is trying to really like pump him up, but like in doing so, he's probably gonna really insult him in front of the bride's parents. It's like, look, when I met this guy, look, do a lot of people not like him? Yes. Do a lot of people.
01:03:42
Speaker
Look, I saw him. This motherfucker was nothing and no good. He used to have problems with his dickhole getting too red. And then we had to do this shit. And you know what now? Does his recall get red yet sometimes? But he pulls his pants up and he fights!
01:04:15
Speaker
He just needed to learn that his pants were too tight. He had to go up a size in pants. I just said, yo, you know, just because your pants are tight doesn't mean you can pee pee all over them. You need to shower when you pee pee before you put your wrestling pants back on. I learned that in each block.
01:04:37
Speaker
We're in the locker room. He shows me his penis hole. It's very red. My own to see, is it supposed to be that red? I take out my own dick hole, but you know, I can't, my back's not good. So I can't see all the way down. And then I show it to Jimmy and I said, yo, Jimmy, which of our dick holes looks more normal?
01:05:03
Speaker
But the Jimmy he says well he doesn't have a normal dickhole cuz there's some stuff so then he he does FaceTime and he FaceTimes and Richard Dreyfus Like yo opus show us that penis hole your jaws your jaws Has this DH look I
01:05:30
Speaker
Anyway, congratulations to the bride. Oh my God. And that's it. And that's how he met his beautiful wife. Thank you, Mr. Dreyfus, father of the bride. Everybody cheers to Janine.
01:05:57
Speaker
The wedding is not televised, yet we still see a just a pink bundle of light tubes with a bow on them there. And like his dad gets nervous because he watched the other wedding show. Look, you just you don't have to come. It's not going to happen at the wedding, but there's going to be an after party. And if they don't get broke at the after party, they might get broke at the after after party.
01:06:24
Speaker
And then, you know, if it doesn't happen there, the after after party, which is really just, you know, just Nick Gage just hanging out with people at five in the morning, eventually they're gonna break those light tubes. I would love to just go to, I don't need to go to the wedding or the after party or the after your after party. I wanna go to the brunch the next day, just to hear the scuttlebutt of who hooked up with who at the Dreyfus Oliver wedding.
01:06:55
Speaker
I heard Pondo fucked his mom. God damn it. I that was. I bet Jordan Oliver, if he actually had like a birthday party or something that with all of his closest people professionally,
01:07:19
Speaker
personally, his family, I bet that's a hell of a cast of characters, the people that are close to Jordan Oliver in life. And because again, you know, one of them's Nick Gage, and that's not someone you would have thought on a surface level looking at him. I truly don't know that we can top Nick Gage and Jordan Oliver looking at their penis holes in the locker room. I don't know, like,
01:07:47
Speaker
I think my brain is actually wiped after that.
Plans to Watch Mr. Holland's Opus
01:07:51
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I want to talk a little bit about Zack Sabre versus Rennerita, but we can save that for next week. I was again, I was thinking about going and flipping on the settlement series, but I think I'm just going to go watch Mr. Holland's Opus instead.
01:08:13
Speaker
I think I'm gonna put on Mr. Holland's opus and just have a good cry. That's what I think I'm gonna do tonight.
01:08:25
Speaker
The only reason Dreyfus has been on my brain lately is Turner classic movies had a cruise a week or two ago. Did you see anything about this cruise? They basically found all the old alcoholic actors they could and put them on a boat and you got to go eat a buffet.
01:08:47
Speaker
There was literally on the photos that came out from this cruise. Wait, by the way, let me just stop you. Google, horrible job that I got no targeted ads for this. Because Garrett basically described my ideal weekend.
01:09:03
Speaker
No, for real. The pictures that came out of this are like, I don't remember who else was at the table other than Chevy Chase and Richard Dreyfus drunk as fuck playing cards on a cruise ship. And they were like the guests of honor. So it was like Jericho's cruise, but. But what if everybody was old and like it was just like.
01:09:27
Speaker
People out of their prime that are like very bloated and red. Those characters, people that in their old age look like Aussie's penis holes. So wait a minute. Wait a minute. Can we just take a quick step back on pause here? TCM did this cruise. I already looked up there doing another one this coming November 2023. Now. The T and TCM is for Turner.
01:09:56
Speaker
The T and TBS and TNT is also for Turner. The Jericho cruise is usually in October. Let's combine these bitches. We've got two Turner backed cruises, make it into one, the rock and wrestler classic movie cruise at sea, whatever the fuck you want to call it. It'll be epic.
01:10:16
Speaker
Over here, you've got Orange Cassidy wrestling. Over here, you've got the Randy Quaid insane room where he'll ramble alien theories and like government conspiracies at you, which Jericho also loves and puts on his podcast. And over on the beach, Richard Dreyfuss and Jimmy Lloyd are filming what is sure to be a classic movie. It's it's it's technically this is how they actually come together.
01:10:44
Speaker
It's technically a pornographic film, but they are confident it'll be tasteful enough that it'll be the first porno accepted onto TCM's list of the greatest movies ever made. I'm telling you, Jimmy, it's gonna be criterion when we're done with this.
01:11:01
Speaker
It's gonna be like the way they show it's a wonderful life leading up to Christmas. That'll be this, like leading up to Valentine's Day or maybe some far nastier fuck holiday that I'm just- You're like Groundhog Day. What is a nastier fuck holiday? I don't know, but there's gotta be one, right?
01:11:25
Speaker
I guess I'm too wholesome to know this. I don't know. I feel like Valentine's Day is like, you actually kissed your wife. There's gotta be some kind of really nasty fuck holiday. But we'll talk to Effie at the next show. It's like, you know, Valentine's Day is romantic, but Lincoln's birthday is where she lets me see the other hole. All right, I'm gonna, fine. I'll look up the TCM. Oh, okay, no guests announced yet for 2020. November 6th through the 11th, 2023.
01:11:56
Speaker
There have to be hosts of a cruise as well. And I feel like the three of us are the people that welcome everybody on the ship. We need, there are gigs that we're not getting, that this podcast should be opening more doors. Definitely Richard Dreyfus and Chevy Chase, Sean Young. Okay. Have you booked your, have you booked your cabin yet, Bex? No, not until I see a guest list, right? Now I've got rain and Quaid in mind. I will accept nothing less.
01:12:26
Speaker
If I see Dennis, I walk. I will take the lesser Quaid. I'll take Noah. Yeah. All right, everybody. I think I think that's it. I think we've tapped the keg on the wrestle penis talk this week. If you stay tuned after the end song, you may hear some talk about some poopy. I don't know.
01:12:51
Speaker
I mean, maybe the audience can be the judge what was more appropriate, quite frankly. The poop talk or literally everything else. Honestly, again, I think we've really stumbled on a winning formula here, which is the darkest possible parenting podcast.
01:13:13
Speaker
mixed mixed with like just a splash of professional wrestling so um yes it's gonna be more bare knuckle boxing and less wrestling as the months go by but if you've got questions about parenting
01:13:30
Speaker
Uh, send them to us. Uh, we're happy to, um, we're happy to give you our advice and we're particularly happy to give you the advice that, uh, Barenarco boxer would give that Nick Gage would give. And of course, most importantly that Richard Dreyfus.
01:13:44
Speaker
And let's not put ourselves in too small a box here. Give us any questions you have about rearing a child, or just about penis holes, right? Generally, we got three of them between us, right? One of us has to have the answer. And if we don't, I mean, we still talk to Derek all the time.
01:14:04
Speaker
Right. So we could we could always reach out to him. We've got Professor Tom. We've got a network of people that that should, by all accounts, have penis holes. Well, I mean, what does the D.H. stand for? For. In Derek's, I mean, I mean, you could be Derek Albin, could be Dickel. I don't know if you don't. We don't know for sure.
01:14:27
Speaker
I don't know, I know when I first met him, I programmed him into my phone as DH. Now, was that because it was his initials and I was a little drunk and I didn't know how to spell his last name and it was saving time? Or did I just go with my first gun instinct?
01:14:46
Speaker
We truly went blue on this podcast, guys. We we wrestling was there. It was kind of like the I don't even know. And it's and it's and it's still like the single digit days in December when we've got weeks more of absolutely nothing going on in wrestling where we're going to go deeper and deeper into depravity and quite frankly, insanity.
01:15:17
Speaker
It gets dark really early now, guys. It's it's pretty dark. I was telling people at my job keep talking about, oh, it's really dark by you. I'm like, yeah, it doesn't it doesn't get light to like seven thirty seven forty five. And it's dark by like four. And it is affecting me. That is very clear to all the listeners right now.
01:15:39
Speaker
All right, everybody. Thank you for listening. Happy Honda days, uh, at pre-determined podcast on Instagram. I am at Gartet on Instagram. I'm at Chris Miggs. Um, Jimmy Lloyd doesn't have an IMDP page that I can find, but that's where I'll be when I find it. Just leave a comment there. All right. Have a good week, everybody. I apologize. Hit our goddamn music and Garrett make it Mr. Holland's Opus.
01:16:43
Speaker
You know, I once, when I was in college, or it was around college, yeah, it was in college, maybe it was shortly after college, I had a thing, and I kept it up for like two years, that every time I took a shit, I gave it a title like you would a painting.
01:17:01
Speaker
And I'd write it down and I thought about maybe taking a picture of it. So maybe this had to be later in college because it's like clearly, um, had decent camera phones. It's getting more worrisome as this gets later. And actually this happened. This is, this is last year, actually. I'm actually future facts. I come from the future to say what I'm going to do over the next two years.
01:17:25
Speaker
now that I'm in my forties. No, but yeah, I- Fired by the South Park episode where they, you find out that Bono is a piece of shit. No, no, I just, there was, I think I was really high. It just seemed like, like, why wouldn't you give, well, I think it, oh, okay. So it also goes back to, I took a really huge shit.
01:17:51
Speaker
Right, really huge. So now it's definitely was after college because actually I was working in an office. So remember I sent, I took a picture of it and shared it with the guy I work with. We still talk about it this day, neither one of us work at that company anymore. He hasn't worked, you know, we haven't worked together in- You're actually not allowed near the building. I'm not allowed near the building, but I would say once every 18 months, we text each other about this shit. And I called it the perfect number two.
01:18:18
Speaker
Not because it was just a number two, although it was, but it was one long coil that actually shaped like a script number two. And then that's where I'm like, you have to call that the perfect number two. There's nothing else you could call that, right? It would be like, you know, calling Sergeant Pepper's something else. It just wouldn't be right.
01:18:43
Speaker
So that's where I think I got the idea. And then I started naming it, but I didn't take pictures of any of them. Did you have a shit name, Sergeant Peppers? I don't believe so. But they definitely didn't sound like... There was a lot of flaming hot Cheetos and corn that really just made this menagerie. No, no, no, no, no. They never referenced the food that made them.
01:19:09
Speaker
maybe they would be referenced food that they resemble, but there was definitely things like, like there was definitely one called melancholy in the infinite sadness, or maybe two different ones, one being melancholy, and the other one being infinite sadness. It was a two disc set.
01:19:22
Speaker
It was probably like one of those ones where you kind of need to do, you think you're going for the rewipe, but it turns out there's a whole nother package being delivered. It might've been one of those, but there was a lot of, and then as it went on, it became more abstraction. And like anything, as soon as it felt like work, I stopped doing it, right? When it's about the art, I was super into it. Once I started feeling like work, and that took about a year and a half, two years.
01:19:52
Speaker
And I'm a minimum one a day shooter. So we're probably talking. What was that? Do you have a list of the names? I probably do somewhere. I think this was an analog list. I don't think I kept it in a spreadsheet or anything. But I, I, I definitely have a notebook with at least many of them.
01:20:12
Speaker
So has this notebook, it's probably had to cross state lines a couple times where like, Oh yeah, this thing's federal. This is definitely federal jurisdiction in this list. Here's the thing. I kind of facts if Garrett is going to do a dramatic reading of the control your narrative comic book. I want you to do a dramatic reading of this list.
01:20:40
Speaker
And I wanna just quietly juxtapose the two things. I got, I'll one up you. Or no, no, I'm not even gonna one up you. I'm gonna yes and you, right? Garrett's gonna do that. There's a thing called Cameo, Chris. I am sure EC3 is probably on one of the Cameo or Cameo-like platforms. We hire him to read the list.
01:21:05
Speaker
And then afterwards, of course, tell him what the list was. Like maybe just put that at the bottom of the email, right? Because most people in cameo, like they don't actually read the whole thing ahead of time. You can tell they're kind of reading it as they go if it's longer. So he's not going to actually get to it. So that'll be on the cameo, presumably. And by the way, I am comfortable with all of this being in the episode, all of it. See, I was comfortable until it lasted five minutes.
01:21:38
Speaker
I don't know. I think melon calling infant says it's a good episode name This could be this could be post this could be post credits like bonus