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Building Sisterhood and Community with YOURFUTUREMUSE Erriel Vaughn
5 Plays2 years ago
Erriel "Earrie" Vaughn (@eareoke) is a Wellness Advocate for Black Women and BIPOC Families. She uses her platform to share tips, tools and resources for personal development and self-identification through Christian principles. Erriel and I chat all things building sisterhood and community! I am so happy that she reached out to me expressing interest to be on my pod. Guys it's been 3 months since I've posted a podcast episode!! You never know where your curiosity may lead to- so don't be scared to reach out to someone! They may need to hear what you have to say! Follow Erriel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eareoke/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UCAtjA4YSa18O1jO7VQMytXw Website (YOURFUTUREMUSE): https://www.yourfuturemuse.com/- get your merch! Keep up with Victoria and the podcast! ⬇️ https://linktr.ee/astoldbyvictoria_https://linktr.ee/feelyourfeelingzpod
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Transcript
Introduction to Ariel Vaughn and Her Mission
00:00:06
Speaker
Hello there, my next guest is Ariel Vaughn.
00:00:08
Speaker
She is a wellness advocate for Black women and BIPOC families.
00:00:12
Speaker
She uses her platform to share tips, tools, and resources for personal development through Christian principles.
00:00:19
Speaker
We do have some doubts, but ultimately, if we made up our mind, we're going to persevere those doubts.
00:00:27
Speaker
Tune into my conversation with Ariel about building sisterhood and community.
00:00:32
Speaker
Feel Your Feelings Podcast.
00:00:34
Speaker
I'm your host, Victoria Malfangiola, and I have a guest on today's podcast.
00:00:40
Speaker
Her name is Ariel Vaughn.
00:00:42
Speaker
She's a wellness advocate, and I'm super excited to have her on the podcast.
00:00:48
Speaker
Welcome, Ariel.
00:00:49
Speaker
How are you feeling today?
00:00:50
Speaker
Hello.
00:00:51
Speaker
Thank you for having me.
00:00:53
Speaker
I'm actually pretty good today, so I'm excited to have this conversation with you.
00:00:57
Speaker
So am I, so am I. Thank you so much for reaching out to me.
00:01:01
Speaker
I get super excited when people express interest in wanting to be on my podcast.
The Importance of Wellness Education
00:01:07
Speaker
So I'm so used to being a person like
00:01:10
Speaker
chasing down people like please be on my podcast so like having people be like hey i would love to be on here um really means a lot to me so thank you so much so tell us a little bit more about you like who is ariel and what are some things that you've been up to lately um i would say that i am definitely a work in progress um i'm someone who likes learning
00:01:34
Speaker
especially about wellness and ways to improve and better myself and my well-being.
00:01:39
Speaker
So whenever I learn something, I try to spread that information out to my friends, family, and of course, do content creation as well.
00:01:49
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And then when new things come up, I try to like update information.
00:01:52
Speaker
But for me, that's like the core of who I am.
00:01:56
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It's just like, I like learning and I like providing people with information so they can have
00:02:03
Speaker
understanding and be more educated in different ways about how they can better themselves as well.
00:02:08
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So I'm all for allowing people to know what they're consenting to.
00:02:14
Speaker
I feel like we're in a system where a lot of people are uneducated about how things work and how things affect us, especially our health.
00:02:22
Speaker
And so I'd rather them have information they could do with it as they please, but at least I did my part by sharing that information with them.
00:02:30
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So that's the biggest part of me is just like making sure my people are taken care of.
Your Future Muse: A Personal Journey and Brand
00:02:35
Speaker
Anyways, so I was saying that you have a personal brand called Your Future Muse.
00:02:42
Speaker
And I love the premise behind it.
00:02:44
Speaker
I was on your website reading that the version of us now is the person or the version that our younger selves would have aspired to be like.
00:02:56
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And...
00:03:00
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Can you, so your brand, Your Future Muse is where you prioritize their mental health through accessible resources and understanding their purpose.
00:03:12
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Can you tell us more about it and what made you start it?
00:03:17
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So what made me start it was I've always gone by Your Future Muse like online.
00:03:23
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And just, that's what I used to just call myself.
00:03:25
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It was just, I don't know how I came up with it.
00:03:27
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It was just something I came up with in junior high.
00:03:29
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And so that name just stuck with me and I was like, I'm gonna do something with this, but I didn't know what I wanted to do with it.
00:03:36
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And of course, like the rest of us in 2020, we were all struggling with our mental health and our physical health and spiritual health with all of the changes that were happening and all these that were like out of our control.
00:03:51
Speaker
And so during that year, I became unemployed
00:03:56
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And I struggled even more in my mental health because I didn't have access to a lot of things.
00:04:02
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I was seeking therapy, but I was having struggles finding a therapist.
00:04:09
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And I've always been very introspective.
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So I always enjoyed journaling.
00:04:13
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I always enjoyed just learning about myself and reflecting and trying to find tools to help me better understand myself.
00:04:21
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And so I was like, I should do something with what I know and then also research other tools and resources that I can add to what I know and give it to people.
00:04:33
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So that's how I started creating my journals in 2020.
00:04:36
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during a pandemic and that what encouraged me to do it was one, I was struggling myself and I knew others were struggling too during that time.
00:04:44
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And so I want to offer some type of tool book, I guess you can say, because my journals, they're guided journals, but they're also filled with activities about self-discovery and finding your purpose and like defining and refining yourself.
00:04:59
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So I was like, this is something I enjoy doing.
00:05:02
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I'm sure there's others who enjoy doing this, but may not have the enthusiasm I have to look into different ways or things like that.
00:05:11
Speaker
So that's what made me create it, was I personally needed it for myself.
00:05:16
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And I knew others at that time also needed it.
00:05:20
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And that's how it all began.
00:05:21
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And from that, I had a few online support groups during that time for women of color.
00:05:29
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Some of them were faith-based, some of them were just general check-ins.
00:05:33
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A lot of it had to do around wellness, whether that was our financial wellness to our physical wellness, to just making sure we have some type of sisterhood and have that accountability and that support during that time.
00:05:44
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And so a lot more has branched from it, but the core of it is just making sure that I have like accessible resources for people who come across my website.
00:05:55
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And I'm still building upon it, you know, I'm trying to network and be connected to a mental health specialist.
00:06:02
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And so I can add resources to my website as well.
00:06:05
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Definitely relatable.
00:06:07
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So health and wellness brands need inclusive culture.
The Role of Inclusivity in Branding
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Speaker
How can you say if a brand is genuinely interested in inclusive?
00:06:19
Speaker
Do they have to have a diverse team themselves?
00:06:24
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I believe so, absolutely.
00:06:29
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I always question brands and organizations that say they're for inclusion and diversity, but look at their board members and their executive teams and they don't look anything like their consumers.
00:06:48
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and are the people that they're claiming that they want to serve and provide services to.
00:06:53
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And so there's no way that you are...
00:06:58
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Being inclusive if you're not bringing these people to the table and understanding what their needs are.
00:07:05
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A lot of times these corporations are looking at numbers.
00:07:08
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They're like, oh, this is trending right now.
00:07:10
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These group of people are trending right now.
00:07:13
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So we're going to put them in our billboards.
00:07:15
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We're going to put them in our ads.
00:07:17
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We're going to make sure that we pick these influencers and these content creators.
00:07:21
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to push our brand and push our products because we know that Black women are the highest-consuming population in the U.S. of beauty products and hygiene products.
00:07:32
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So let's put Black women in the forefront so they can buy these products that we're trying to push at the moment.
00:07:40
Speaker
They do the same thing with LGBTQ communities, especially because it's the month of Pride, right?
00:07:45
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So you see all these companies having their flags up and having these pride phrases and things like that, but the rest of the year, they're quiet, right?
00:07:56
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And I'm glad that we do have months and weeks and days to celebrate our different individualities and like identities, but it's just like, what are you doing for us the 365 days of the year, not just when our name is brought up for this.
00:08:12
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holiday or whatever the case, you know?
00:08:16
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Yeah.
00:08:16
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It's interesting that we, you know, we're talking on Juneteenth.
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Today is Juneteenth and we're seeing a lot of, um,
00:08:25
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visibility around Black culture, Black people online and in commercials and in the news, which I think is fabulous and it's great.
00:08:33
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But after today, you know, it kind of goes back to the regular flow of things.
00:08:39
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And it's just like, let's keep up that same energy, please, you know, not just for, you know, a single moment that you profit off of, you know.
00:08:51
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Yeah, and that's definitely how they see it.
00:08:53
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Like, I know in the past few years, now that it's become like a national holiday, it's just like, oh, let's put this Juneteenth ice cream out.
00:09:01
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Let's put this Juneteenth decorations and like all this.
00:09:05
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I know, I literally.
00:09:05
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I've been thinking about that, yeah.
00:09:07
Speaker
The red velvet ice cream.
00:09:08
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So ridiculous, right?
00:09:12
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Like, this is not what we need.
00:09:13
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But if you have someone at the table to tell you like,
00:09:16
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this is what black people would appreciate to show us visible in this way on our holiday, our Independence Day, then they wouldn't do that, right?
00:09:27
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They would have someone there be like, no, ice cream is not going to cut it.
00:09:31
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Or like, no, that's a little bit insensitive.
00:09:34
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You know what I mean?
00:09:35
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Like if they had someone in the room with them, I don't think it would have got approved and even got to the shelves to begin with.
00:09:44
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Totally, like it can be, it can come off performative sometimes.
00:09:47
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I think we have to be careful as black women and as young consumers, as young black women to really monitor what we're consuming, like beauty brands or, you know, media or even certain influencers and like what they actually stand for.
00:10:03
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And it's easier said than done until you like do your homework on it and be like, maybe that's not like for me.
00:10:11
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and only you can decide or only that person can decide what brand or what inclusive, what brand it is that they want that aligns with their values.
00:10:22
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Because there's a lot of information
Sisterhood in Media and Personal Reflections
00:10:24
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out there.
00:10:24
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So do you have any favorite films or songs that represent Sisterhood well to you?
00:10:32
Speaker
So my favorite TV show is Living Single.
00:10:37
Speaker
And I really love the sisterhood between their friendship that's on that show.
00:10:43
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Growing up watching that show, like I always was like, oh, I really want like a friendship like theirs.
00:10:49
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Like you can keep it real with each other.
00:10:51
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You can support each other.
00:10:53
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You can, you know, laugh at each other and still love each other and like grow together and have this community of friends.
00:11:00
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So that's one show I would say like, yes, like that's what I look for in sisterhood.
00:11:07
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just all of us being very different and unique, but knowing that we're gonna be there for each other and we're gonna be connected and have that love for each other.
00:11:16
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For sure.
00:11:16
Speaker
And I've been watching Sister, Sister lately.
00:11:20
Speaker
Me and my sister have been like catching up on like reruns on Netflix since they're on Netflix now.
00:11:27
Speaker
And just like seeing their dynamic as sisters and their bond, even though they're twins, right?
00:11:33
Speaker
But seeing their dynamic is like really inspiring and it's like a timeless theme.
00:11:40
Speaker
Even though that show was like made in the 90s or created in like 90s, early 2000s, like the themes still ring true on like having a sister and having female friends.
00:11:52
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's so funny.
00:11:54
Speaker
I'm watching Sister Sister right now too.
00:11:56
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It's been like my comfort show.
00:11:58
Speaker
Which season?
00:12:00
Speaker
Which season are you on?
00:12:01
Speaker
I'm finally on season.
00:12:03
Speaker
Let's see some of my own.
00:12:04
Speaker
I'm just so, um, I just watched the episode yesterday of when Tia got the job at the coffee shop.
00:12:11
Speaker
Oh, we're close then.
00:12:12
Speaker
I'm on season five too.
00:12:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:15
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Yeah.
Navigating Adult Friendships
00:12:16
Speaker
Okay.
00:12:16
Speaker
So what are the most important do's and don'ts when it comes to female friendships?
00:12:24
Speaker
I would say the most important do's is knowing your friends.
00:12:29
Speaker
Um, I guess,
00:12:33
Speaker
preferences, right?
00:12:34
Speaker
I feel like a lot of people struggle with adult friendships because they're like, oh, well, this is how I communicate and how I like to communicate, but they'd only consider the other person's preference or how they navigate communication.
00:12:50
Speaker
Thankfully for me and my friends, like we have an understanding of like, we don't have to talk every day or we can communicate via text and be fine or, you know, like,
00:13:03
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we need to see each other at least once a month.
00:13:05
Speaker
Just having that understanding that we're adults and we're all having our own paths that we're on, that we're dealing with different things.
00:13:12
Speaker
We're trying to navigate different things.
00:13:14
Speaker
We have goals that we're trying to reach.
00:13:16
Speaker
And sometimes we just may not have the capacity to socialize as much as we used to.
00:13:22
Speaker
So not having those expectations of like, I'm going to see my friend every single day or every single week, like it was in college, you know?
00:13:30
Speaker
That's a big conversation amongst my friends as well.
00:13:32
Speaker
It's just like, oh, like we don't have a set time.
00:13:35
Speaker
We're going to see each other anymore now that we're out of college.
00:13:39
Speaker
And I think a lot of people have a hard time transitioning from that.
00:13:43
Speaker
They're like, I know I saw you every Tuesday and Thursday because we're on campus every Tuesday and Thursday.
00:13:47
Speaker
So I have something to look forward to seeing you and hanging out and socializing.
00:13:52
Speaker
and just like, okay, but I only see you every fourth Thursday.
00:13:56
Speaker
And so balancing the transition of like, okay, life is happening to all of us at one time.
00:14:02
Speaker
And just having that understanding between communication and also getting together.
00:14:07
Speaker
So don't put your standards and expectations on the other person around those things.
00:14:12
Speaker
Have a dope conversation and find a rhythm that works for the both of you and your relationship.
00:14:18
Speaker
So that's a don't, just
00:14:20
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Don't assume, don't put expectations, don't put these high standards around those communication and socializing.
00:14:28
Speaker
I would say a do is to always be there.
00:14:37
Speaker
Always be there for the big moment.
00:14:40
Speaker
So the milestones and the low moments, right?
00:14:44
Speaker
I think having friendships, especially in adulthood, it comes with the punches of life, right?
00:14:51
Speaker
We all go through something, whether we experience a death, right, in our family, our friends groups, or we lost our jobs, or for myself, I'm going through a divorce and I had a really solid friend group around me checking in on me, making sure I was taking care of myself, making sure I was eating.
00:15:10
Speaker
I'm the one who skips meals in my friend group.
00:15:14
Speaker
So just things like that.
00:15:16
Speaker
Just making sure that you're there for those important moments.
00:15:20
Speaker
Some people may think, oh, we're best friends or we're close friends because they're there all the time.
00:15:26
Speaker
That doesn't mean much in adulthood.
00:15:30
Speaker
Like no one's going to be able to be with you 24-7.
00:15:33
Speaker
Like I said, we all have our own lives and paths that we're living through each day.
00:15:38
Speaker
And so, but just making sure you're there for the big times.
00:15:41
Speaker
I have friends who I haven't seen
00:15:44
Speaker
since maybe like 2012.
00:15:48
Speaker
And I was still considered my closest friends because we make sure we stay in contact, whether it's us hitting each other up twice a year and just say, hey girl, happy birthday, love you, Merry Christmas, whatever.
00:16:04
Speaker
Or just hitting each other up and saying like, hey, are you good?
00:16:06
Speaker
What's new?
00:16:08
Speaker
I have many friends from high school still that like, I don't see or talk to them every day, but they know
00:16:14
Speaker
If something's happening, they want me to be a part of it.
00:16:16
Speaker
I want them to be part of what's going on with me as well.
00:16:20
Speaker
So I would say a do is just being there for the most major moments, right?
00:16:26
Speaker
Those milestones, those large transitions that people go through in life.
00:16:31
Speaker
And that's more important than being able to gossip on the phone every day or being able to catch and get a coffee together just to complain about work every day, you know?
00:16:41
Speaker
Yeah, that's really cool.
00:16:44
Speaker
And going back to the sisterhood thing, like I have a sister, I have one sister, but I feel like sisterhood is like a community of more than one other female friend, like maybe three or more people that you can like actually sit down with and talk to in person and have a conversation with face to face, whether that's at your church or at the mall or at a patio, at a restaurant or somewhere like, you know,
00:17:12
Speaker
where you can actually communicate with them is super important because like you said, in college, we had those established spaces where we can connect.
00:17:19
Speaker
And then afterwards, like you lose touch and it's like you don't really, it's like out of sight, out of mind, kind of.
00:17:26
Speaker
You don't see someone, it's like you just kind of, they kind of fade out.
00:17:30
Speaker
So establishing that real in-person genuine connection is super important.
00:17:35
Speaker
So in a word, I would say sisterhood is like community, like real life community.
00:17:43
Speaker
Yes, definitely community and understanding that people in your community are great, can be great to fulfill certain needs of your own.
00:17:53
Speaker
So you're having those friends where you know you can call them and have those one-on-one in-person conversations over brunch or coffee or whatever.
00:18:02
Speaker
but then understanding you have a friend who you want to go play tennis with, or you have a friend who like you guys hold each other accountable financially, you know, or you have a friend that you're really grounding your faith with that you can pray with and study the word with and praise and worship God with.
00:18:17
Speaker
Like I feel like as adults, we also put like a whole holistic thing on our friends, I guess, in a sense,
00:18:28
Speaker
Like yes, they should be there.
00:18:29
Speaker
We should be able to trust them.
00:18:31
Speaker
We should be able to rely on them.
00:18:32
Speaker
But I think understanding that all of your friends are not going to have all the same interests or backgrounds as you.
00:18:38
Speaker
True.
00:18:39
Speaker
But finding that one or two things to connect with them with and understanding like, okay, this is my capacity with our friendship in a sense of like, you're someone I call to go check out a new museum with, because we're both into art and galleries or whatever the case, you know, and not
00:18:56
Speaker
I think understanding the role that each friend plays basically is what I'm trying to say.
00:19:00
Speaker
Instead of pouring all your needs into one friend, trying to expect them to have the full capacity to fulfill all those needs.
00:19:09
Speaker
Yeah, that is super important too.
00:19:11
Speaker
So we're not all the same.
00:19:13
Speaker
Like let's be honest, we all have different interests.
00:19:16
Speaker
Like one friend may not want to go out to eat or someone may rather just talk to you over Zoom because not everything requires in person.
00:19:25
Speaker
So, you know, those are just like, those are like the real, the nitty gritty type stuff that requires more nuance with each person, you know, and like actually asking them like, hey, like,
00:19:39
Speaker
Does this work for you?
00:19:40
Speaker
If it doesn't, like, I'm not gonna be mad.
00:19:43
Speaker
So yeah, like we made this episode happen over several times.
00:19:47
Speaker
Like it just the timing didn't align, but like we still reached out to each other and we're like, hey, like I still, I'm gonna reschedule it, but you know, I'm good.
00:19:57
Speaker
We're cool, you know?
00:19:59
Speaker
So thank you so much, Ariel, for joining me on today's episode.
00:20:04
Speaker
Thank you for being here.
00:20:04
Speaker
I really appreciate your time.
Connecting with Ariel Vaughn
00:20:07
Speaker
Is there a place where listeners can find you?
00:20:11
Speaker
Or can they support you actually?
00:20:13
Speaker
Because I know you have your own store and shop and everything.
00:20:20
Speaker
Yes.
00:20:21
Speaker
As always, check out my website, yourfeaturemuse.com.
00:20:25
Speaker
And you can follow me at Araoke on Instagram and TikTok.
00:20:31
Speaker
And that's spelled E-A-R-E-O-K-E, like karaoke.
00:20:35
Speaker
Yeah, like karaoke.
00:20:37
Speaker
So both on Instagram.
00:20:39
Speaker
Yeah, Instagram and TikTok.
00:20:42
Speaker
I do have a YouTube channel, but it's a baby.
00:20:47
Speaker
No, check out her YouTube channel, guys.
00:20:49
Speaker
If you want to check out my YouTube channel.
00:20:51
Speaker
I listen to your videos, like your word of the year for 2023 is so, right?
00:20:58
Speaker
Like I also do the word of the year as well.
00:21:02
Speaker
So that was really like cool to see that connection.
Personal Development and Inspiration
00:21:09
Speaker
Nice.
00:21:10
Speaker
I love having a word of the year and a mascot of the year.
00:21:14
Speaker
So last year my mascot was butterflies and this year my mascot are wildflowers.
00:21:21
Speaker
Oh, that's good.
00:21:22
Speaker
You know, I'm all for it.
00:21:25
Speaker
That's good.
00:21:26
Speaker
I didn't think of having a mascot of the year.
00:21:30
Speaker
But I do have a word of the year.
00:21:31
Speaker
My word of the year this year of 2023 is patience.
00:21:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:40
Speaker
And like, obviously it's working because it's Riverside thing, like just this recording and like the lag through it.
00:21:45
Speaker
I'm patient through it, you know, I'm patient.
00:21:48
Speaker
I'm patient.
00:21:50
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So yeah.
00:21:52
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Patience is a great fruit of the spirit, okay?
00:21:56
Speaker
It is.
00:21:57
Speaker
We need it every day, every second.
00:21:59
Speaker
We do.
00:21:59
Speaker
And literally, it has helped.
00:22:01
Speaker
It truly has.
00:22:02
Speaker
And usually I come up with a word at the beginning of the year, like before January or like on January 1st.
00:22:08
Speaker
But this time, I didn't know what I wanted it to be.
00:22:13
Speaker
Last year it was shift.
00:22:15
Speaker
But this year I kind of was like, oh, it's kind of corny to have one word for the whole year.
00:22:20
Speaker
And I was listening to like Evan Carmichael, he's a motivational speaker and he has a book called Your One Word.
00:22:29
Speaker
Like his one word is like believe.
00:22:31
Speaker
And I think I was like,
00:22:33
Speaker
Listening to something he was saying was like your one word can it doesn't have to be every year can just be like your word that you just have through all the years, but I kind of want to go back to having a word for each year because it kind of is like the.
00:22:48
Speaker
the umbrella for like everything that you walk through throughout your year and that you can trace back to.
00:22:55
Speaker
And when you see it pop up, you're like, oh, that's my word.
00:22:57
Speaker
That's my word.
00:22:59
Speaker
Instead of having like different words and signals, it's like you have that one thing that's like, oh, when you hear it, it's like, that's for me.
00:23:08
Speaker
That's for me.
00:23:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:13
Speaker
That's a cool book.
00:23:15
Speaker
Who was the author again?
00:23:16
Speaker
Evan Carmichael, he's a great motivational speaker on YouTube.
00:23:20
Speaker
He has videos called... So like, he'll take a celebrity and he'll create like a top 10 list, like Oprah Winfrey, and he'll create like a top 10 rules of success video based off of that person and the things that they've said.
00:23:36
Speaker
So he's a great creator and love his mind.
00:23:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:42
Speaker
So, you know,
00:23:43
Speaker
Like you said, we were looking forward to this conversation.
00:23:46
Speaker
We finally got to have it.
00:23:47
Speaker
I'm glad to come home again and have conversations with you.
00:23:51
Speaker
I'm so glad I met you.
00:23:52
Speaker
I think you're a wonderful person.
00:23:55
Speaker
I think you're doing wonderful things.
00:23:57
Speaker
And I'm so excited to witness you grow and do all the things that bring you joy.
00:24:03
Speaker
And I'm really excited to keep up with everything you have going on.
00:24:07
Speaker
I can see you again.
00:24:08
Speaker
Yay!
00:24:10
Speaker
Thank you so much, Aerie.
00:24:11
Speaker
Thank you.
00:24:12
Speaker
You know, we'll keep in touch, so.
00:24:15
Speaker
Have a good one, girl.
00:24:18
Speaker
Bye.
00:24:19
Speaker
It's Victoria here.
00:24:20
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to this podcast.
00:24:23
Speaker
If you enjoyed this episode, please check out my YouTube channel.
00:24:26
Speaker
Hit subscribe.
00:24:27
Speaker
And you can also check out this podcast on Apple, Spotify, Google, Stitcher, wherever you get your podcasts.
00:24:34
Speaker
Okay.
00:24:35
Speaker
Anyways, don't forget to be a kind person today.
00:24:37
Speaker
You feel me?
00:24:37
Speaker
Bye.