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#Host2Host- PART TWO: Talking $%#! w/ Paula Sima (Talk Sh*t with P) - Positive Vibes & Good Energy!
7 Plays2 years ago
After experiencing depression in 2016, Paula leaned into her healing journey and her relationship with God. That's when she started creating mental health awareness with her movement- "Lifewithpaula." The turning point for Paula came during the COVID pandemic- she decided to start her podcast "Talk Shit with P." Like myself, she gives gratitude to the pandemic for pushing her to launch her show and make a change. We get to know each other and bond over our shared connections including meeting at PodFest! Are you attending in 2024? Thank you for joining me! 💜 Use my special link (https://zen.ai/YvuDrvZZjTkG6VQpW0ytf3... ) to save 30% off your first month of any Zencastr paid plan. SHARE YOUR COMMUNITY STORIEZ!: https://forms.gle/df2JGAFG56wUwkwD7 (You may get a shoutout!) Listen to more interviews and subscribe to "Feel Your FeelingZ" here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Follow Paula on her socials: IG: / talkshitwithp Press: https://www.flowcode.com/page/talkshi... YouTube: @talkshitwithp Subscribe above and follow me here to stay plugged in: https://fyfz.univer.se/ / fyfzpod
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Transcript
Authenticity vs. People Pleasing
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That you're stronger than you think you.
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Why positive vibes and good energy?
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How did we come up with that?
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Because I am a positive vibe and good energy, and that's all I want to be surrounded with.
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And, you know, I was such a people pleaser, right?
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And I ended up finding myself, and I believe also,
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Sometimes the depression, the anxiety is because we are not our authentic self.
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We put ourselves in positions that are going to drain us and take us into that dark.
Value of Diverse Friendships
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So when you are a people pleaser, you're always trying to be somebody because you want to please.
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So I'm a person who, even my dad can testify to this.
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I remember when I was graduating, I was like, I don't know where I'll throw you apart because you know so many people.
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I literally do know.
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a lot of people.
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And I am a person who, I don't care your age.
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I have friends who are in their 60s.
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I have friends who are in their 50s.
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I have friends who are in their 20s.
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And I'm 34.
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So I don't have friends just in my age range.
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I mix with everybody because I am a fun believer
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you can learn something from anybody, whether they're a CEO or whether they're a toilet cleaner or a school bus driver or something.
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You never know.
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Just because that's their position right now, you never know what their journey was, how they came there, what they have overcome.
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So I'm a person who I mingle everywhere.
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But then because I had all that, I felt like everywhere I showed up, I didn't show up as my true self.
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Because I wanted to please everybody.
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And then when I finally was like, fuck it, you know, it's draining me.
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I'm becoming this dark energy that I don't like.
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Because I know myself, even when I go to an energy that I don't feel comfortable, I don't want to be there.
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And I'm a good person.
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reader.
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I'm a good character reader.
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My friends always get annoyed by it because I'll tell them, I'll be like, yeah, don't hang out with that person.
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That person, the energy just doesn't.
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So I really go by vibes and
Surrounding Yourself with Positivity
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energy.
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If your energy feels, because I have been there and I know how a dark energy feels like and I don't care whatever money you have or whatever your status is.
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If your energy is dark,
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I'm not hanging around.
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So that's why my motto is always being positive vibes and good energy because the world is already dark enough.
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The world gets dark, shit happens, but that doesn't mean we have to make it more darker.
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And most people assume that because you are a positive person and a vibe and good energy means that you can't be sad and shit.
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No, it just means that I choose
00:03:11
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not to constantly dwell on that, but I have my moment.
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So I really resonate to that.
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That's why anybody, even on social media, I unfollow pages, people.
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I don't care how many years we have known each other.
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I don't care if you're family or whatever.
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But if your page is not giving me something that's creating a positive vibe to me, it's being a light to me, I unfollow.
00:03:37
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And I even tell my friends, if I have come to a place where
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You don't feel like I am a positive vibe to you or I bring good energy.
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You can cut me off.
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You can unfollow me.
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I will not take offense to it because everybody should surround themselves with that energy because that's what you resonate to when the world feels dark.
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Absolutely.
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That's awesome.
Societal Pressures on Gen Z
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Speaking of...
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A rebel with a cause.
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I love that.
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I love that mug.
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Love the merch.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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This is my beer mug.
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And it's that you put in the freezer.
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I like that.
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I'm thinking of doing some new merch as well.
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So a little hint, hint.
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Stay tuned.
00:04:25
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Speaking of like, you know, you just talked about dark times that, you know, we're in, like, what do you think is the biggest impact on Gen Z's mental health at the moment?
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Remind me, Gen Z is what age, you know?
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I'm 26, so I was born in 1997.
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So I would be considered like the end or the beginning of Gen Z. And I think it ends in 2012.
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Oh, damn.
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Yeah.
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And then after Gen Z is Gen Alpha.
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So we're like basically the Zoom generation.
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To be honest, I...
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I think Gen Z's apply too much pressure on themselves.
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We do.
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We really do.
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Like, I feel like
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instead of actually enjoying where you are and taking the privilege, because I tell people don't rush to grow up because I rushed.
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And sometimes when I look, but I still did, I had amazing twenties, but then I have always like, if you're growing up in Africa, you start a lot of things way earlier.
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And then I, I,
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I'm lucky, blessed.
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I had the privilege of moving around the world and living in different countries.
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So my mindset grew up way before my body grew up or my age caught up.
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But when I look at most of them right now, even when I was working at retail and I look at these kids, they're such in a rush to, I can't wait to move out.
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I can't wait to do, like, enjoy that.
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Because that's pressure.
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People are always quick to move out.
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If I could move back home to my daddy's house right now, I would.
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Because these bills are not cute at all.
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They don't care.
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They don't care.
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And I tell people, if your parents are not chasing you out, stay at home for as long as you
Patience and Small Wins
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can.
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Save, do something, like actually enjoy the world, travel, you know, build connections, explore the world, try different things.
00:06:31
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But they are so quick to get that career, to make something out of themselves, to have a home, to have a car, to on and on.
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And you're like, but you're still young.
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And they're like, no, I'm not.
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I'm 24.
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Yes, you're fucking young!
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24 years!
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That's the time to actually make mistakes.
00:06:51
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Once you keep going, once you get to your 30s, now you really have to think.
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I still feel like in your 30s, that's when you should be getting your life together.
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In your 20s, enjoy life.
00:07:03
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I feel like most people, the Gen Zs, get into their mental health, like depression or anxiety.
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It's the rush to grow up.
00:07:12
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They
00:07:13
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they are quick to want things, but also the funny part is they're also lazy to work for that shit.
00:07:22
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They want it now.
00:07:24
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They want the success now.
00:07:25
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They don't want the grind that hard work, but they want the...
00:07:32
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I don't disagree with you because I think of Nelson Mandela's generation and how success didn't come to him until he was in his older, older years, until he was an older man.
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When he was young, he was in prison.
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He was struggling.
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He was fighting for freedom.
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I think we kind of want that overnight success, that overnight hit.
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I mean, look at even the stories about Oprah over a while.
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They didn't get to where they were.
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You know, Oprah went from radio stations to radio station before having her own talk show and being who she is.
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There's that process, but
00:08:14
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And that's the thing, when we think about it, like even why most podcasters end up failing is because, oh, I'm going to start a podcast and I'm going to get sponsors and I'm
Podcasting Challenges and Victories
00:08:23
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going to win.
00:08:23
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I'm going to be Joe Rogan.
00:08:24
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But you're forgetting that Joe Rogan already had an entire life and career before he became a successful podcaster.
00:08:31
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This year, this was the year that I literally, and I use Zencaster.
00:08:35
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So shout out to this platform because I started using Riverside FM and then Zoom.
00:08:39
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But I literally this year received my first monetization from Zencast.
00:08:43
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from being a Zencaster ambassador for like a brand sponsorship.
00:08:47
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And it wasn't a lot, but it was a decent amount and I'm proud of myself for doing that.
00:08:52
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It's a step.
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It's a step.
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And I started in 2021.
00:08:57
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And it's a step.
00:08:58
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And that's what I tell people.
00:09:00
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Sometimes also I am a fun believer in celebrating the small wins more than the big wins because it's those small wins.
00:09:07
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It's like, you know, when you're climbing the stairs, right?
00:09:10
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You want to get to the top.
00:09:12
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So you're so concentrated at the top.
00:09:14
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You're forgetting that, oh, my God, I made it to
00:09:17
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the fifth floor, I made it to the sixth floor, I made it to the seventh floor.
00:09:21
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Like those little codes, they end up matching your journey.
00:09:25
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Zencasta might not have been a big sponsorship or something, but hey, it's a fucking sponsorship that some people are still trying to find.
00:09:33
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It's your first sponsorship.
00:09:35
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And that will open doors for the next and the next and the next.
00:09:40
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My first sponsorship was with Superpass and I found them through PortFest.
00:09:45
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They used to come a lot to PortFest and they are an amazing website and app maker.
00:09:55
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And they normally charge like almost 2,500 a month to get the website and the app created.
00:10:01
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And I literally, because...
00:10:04
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Again, it's all about showing up, you know, showing up to these communities, letting people know.
00:10:10
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We are constantly wanting support, but we are not supporting those.
00:10:14
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So for me, I became an ambassador because I'm constantly showing up at PortFest.
00:10:18
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I volunteer.
00:10:20
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I help.
00:10:21
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They know me.
00:10:21
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They're like, okay, this year.
00:10:23
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And they literally, when I was like, wait, I became an ambassador.
00:10:25
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I was like, yeah, you have earned it.
00:10:27
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And I really believe I have.
00:10:29
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And I am excited about that.
00:10:30
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So when Superpass was doing those rooms,
00:10:33
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I literally went to the room and they talked and they were like, do you have a question for us?
00:10:36
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And I was like, yes, I really want to be a part of your platform, but I can't afford it.
00:10:42
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Is there something we can work?
00:10:44
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And they ended up giving me for $50 a month.
00:10:48
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And I used it for a couple of months, but there was something that it was lacking.
00:10:53
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So I stopped using them and I haven't used them for a year, but just two weeks.
00:10:59
Speaker
And I don't have a website right now.
00:11:01
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And I've been thinking about getting back into website.
00:11:04
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And just two weeks ago, they reached out and they're like, hey, Paula, it's been a while.
00:11:09
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We miss you.
00:11:10
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Is there anything we can talk about bringing this partnership back?
00:11:13
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And I'm like, you know, let's see, because my book is about to come out and I really need a website.
00:11:19
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Hi there.
00:11:20
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How are you feeling?
00:11:22
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It's me, Victoria, host of the podcast.
00:11:24
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And when I first started podcasting, I was super scared and nervous about the way I sounded, the way I looked, the way people would receive me.
00:11:32
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But using Zencastr has been a really helpful way for me to become more confident and express myself as a creator.
00:11:40
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So with Zencastr, you can record up to 4K quality in video, regardless of your audio and performance.
00:11:46
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Wi-Fi quality.
00:11:47
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You can save files in the cloud recording and you can adjust your audio and noise levels in the sound section.
00:11:54
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Go to Zencaster.com slash pricing and use my code Victoria15 and you'll get 30% off your first month of any Zencaster paid plan.
00:12:03
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I want you to have the same easy experiences that I do for my podcasting and content feeds.
00:12:08
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It's time to share your story.
00:12:09
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You feel me?
00:12:12
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But it's all about those little things.
00:12:15
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It's about showing up.
00:12:16
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It's about willing to put in the work.
00:12:20
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And a lot of people will tell you, like, again, shout out to Adam Scheiblin.
00:12:26
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The reason why I follow him and I trust him and I show up for him is because...
00:12:32
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The first time I heard him speak, he was one of the very few speakers because I hate when speakers say, oh, you can do this.
00:12:40
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I did it, but they don't really give you like how they did it or shit.
00:12:43
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The roadmap.
00:12:44
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Yeah.
00:12:44
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Yeah.
00:12:44
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And they're forgetting most of these people either had corporate jobs.
00:12:49
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They have savings.
00:12:50
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They have a spouse who's supporting.
00:12:52
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Some of us leave paycheck to paycheck.
00:12:54
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We are just trying to fucking pay our bills.
00:12:57
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We don't have, you know.
00:13:00
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So Adam was like, listen, I was podcasting for three years before I made my first money.
00:13:08
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And in the third year, I literally made $37 or something.
00:13:13
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So imagine it took him three years.
00:13:15
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And in that three years, he made $37 before he actually went to where he retired and he does podcasting four days a week full time.
00:13:24
Speaker
And now he makes a lot of money.
00:13:25
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Right.
Being True to Yourself in Communities
00:13:26
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So it is not.
00:13:29
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a first thing.
00:13:30
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And that's why you really need to be passionate about it.
00:13:34
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Whatever you do, whatever you're building, you really need to be passionate because it's going to be a while before.
00:13:40
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If you're lucky and you have a trust fund or successful parents or a big loads of money or a bigger sponsor,
00:13:49
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It can happen for you in a day because everything needs money.
00:13:54
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I'm telling you, if I had a big budget for marketing, my podcast would be number one right now because marketing takes a lot of money.
00:14:01
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But I cannot wait for the day I have a billboard at New York, Times Square.
00:14:06
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Absolutely.
00:14:07
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Talk shit with me.
00:14:08
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But you just got to work hard on that.
00:14:10
Speaker
And I think that's what...
00:14:13
Speaker
not only genzies but i'm saying mostly on genzies but we all lack the patience and uh discipline yes yes thank you for that i needed to hear that myself so i want to get to a quick speed round with you paula so basically you answer in like one word one sentence and that's it so let me know when you're ready good luck with that good luck with that one what
00:14:37
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Let's go.
00:14:37
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Let's go.
00:14:38
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Let's go.
00:14:38
Speaker
Okay.
00:14:39
Speaker
Let's go.
00:14:39
Speaker
First question.
00:14:40
Speaker
Last song.
00:14:41
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What's the last song that you listened to?
00:14:45
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:14:45
Speaker
That would be easy.
00:14:47
Speaker
Cause that is Nico Moon.
00:14:49
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No sad days.
00:14:50
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I don't want to hear no sad days.
00:14:53
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Sad songs.
00:14:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:55
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I don't want to hear no sad songs.
00:14:57
Speaker
Nico Moon.
00:14:58
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And it's coming on tour next year in Atlanta, February.
00:15:00
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So if y'all are thinking about getting me a present, buy me Nico Moon tickets.
00:15:05
Speaker
Thank you.
00:15:05
Speaker
Nico Moon?
00:15:07
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Yes.
00:15:07
Speaker
I'm very into country.
00:15:08
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So I listened to a lot of country.
00:15:11
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Nice.
00:15:11
Speaker
I like that.
00:15:12
Speaker
So finish this sentence.
00:15:14
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I truly believe that.
00:15:18
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Talk shit with P will make it.
00:15:20
Speaker
Whoa.
00:15:21
Speaker
That's what I was talking about.
00:15:22
Speaker
That's what I was talking about.
00:15:24
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There we go.
00:15:26
Speaker
My favorite book is.
00:15:29
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:15:30
Speaker
The one I'm writing.
00:15:35
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send me the promo and I will be glad to help promo your book.
00:15:41
Speaker
Um, in two words, I would tell my younger self to be yourself.
00:16:03
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I feel like we are constantly scared to show our real safe because we want to be loved, but then we are loved in the wrong places because we are not being ourselves.
00:16:14
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And that's why I'm all about it.
00:16:17
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being unapologetically you and showing up as your authentic self.
00:16:20
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So be unapologetically you.
00:16:23
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We fear that we might not find our people, but by being you, you find the right people for you.
00:16:29
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And also show up, show up to those communities, show up for people.
00:16:33
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You want people to show up for you?
00:16:34
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You gotta show up for people.
00:16:36
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So be your authentic self and show up.
00:16:39
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That's right.
00:16:40
Speaker
Love that.
00:16:40
Speaker
And then last question is for you is right now I feel like,
00:16:46
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tired.
Self-Care and Mental Health
00:16:49
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This week has been raining.
00:16:50
Speaker
When I tell you, I was telling Victoria, this is my last to-do list for today.
00:16:58
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As soon as I close this laptop, I'm taking those sleeping pills because I have issues with sleeping as well.
00:17:05
Speaker
And for this past week,
00:17:09
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If I add up how many hours of sleep I've had in general, it's eight hours for the whole week because I have not been.
00:17:17
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And it's funny because I literally took gummies the other day and I took like six at one time hoping that I will pass out and sleep and he didn't do nothing.
00:17:28
Speaker
And then my friend took one gummy and that person went and slept for like eight, nine, 10 hours.
00:17:35
Speaker
Do you take melatonin gummies?
00:17:37
Speaker
No, I took like E-doubles.
00:17:43
Speaker
See, Paula, if you do melatonin, I could see if you do melatonin.
00:17:53
Speaker
Is that like CBD?
00:17:55
Speaker
And they're organic.
00:17:57
Speaker
They're Delta 8, 9, 10 THC.
00:17:58
Speaker
See, I don't know.
00:18:03
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But my friend gave me some sleeping pills yesterday and I was like, maybe you should try one.
00:18:11
Speaker
And because I wanted to sleep last night for today morning, but then I ended up not using them.
00:18:16
Speaker
So I'm going to take both two of them so that I can literally pass the phone.
00:18:21
Speaker
I'm okay if I don't wake up until tomorrow morning.
00:18:24
Speaker
My body needs to go.
00:18:26
Speaker
rest get your rest get your rest is very important rest is very important and everyone's body is different you know we get tired at different points i'd when i was at work like working and stuff like i would get tired during the day and i would just fall asleep but try i'll try to stay awake but um right now i feel hungry so i'm gonna go eat something and and and to add on that um the listening to your body i feel it's something we take um uh
00:18:57
Speaker
advantage of because your body will literally tell you when it's tired and I can feel my body shutting down and when we don't listen to it because when I used to work retail because in your head you're like I need to go to work I can't call out because I need the money and shit but since last year I decided to listen
00:19:22
Speaker
They can still fire me or I might die and they'll hire somebody new tomorrow.
00:19:27
Speaker
They wouldn't care.
00:19:29
Speaker
Or I'll be in the hospital and they won't pay half my bills.
00:19:34
Speaker
So I am not like, I am very big on mental health and taking care of yourself.
00:19:39
Speaker
That's why I call myself also self-care queen.
00:19:42
Speaker
And people assume self-care is all about just doing your nails or getting facials or going for brunch.
00:19:48
Speaker
But resting,
00:19:50
Speaker
taking a bath, reading a book, watching trash TV just so your mind can relax, outside playing with a dog, doing a picnic, all that is part of self-care.
00:20:05
Speaker
Whatever your body needs, what you need to do for your body is important.
00:20:09
Speaker
So I'm all for that.
00:20:11
Speaker
Go do what you got.
00:20:12
Speaker
Speaking of baths, now I feel like I need a very nice bath.
00:20:15
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:20:15
Speaker
Do what
Collaboration and Support in Creative Spaces
00:20:16
Speaker
you got to do.
00:20:16
Speaker
But I want to say thank you so much for joining me on my show.
00:20:19
Speaker
Listeners, please tune into her podcast.
00:20:22
Speaker
It's called Talk Shit with P. And people are probably not used to me cursing, but I do it all the time in my head.
00:20:27
Speaker
So I feel like you're like the expressive version of me.
00:20:32
Speaker
I bring that out of people.
00:20:34
Speaker
I make people safe enough to even curse, you know?
00:20:37
Speaker
Don't worry.
00:20:37
Speaker
In my head, I say that about like 100 times a day.
00:20:40
Speaker
But I really hope you have a fantastic end to your year.
00:20:44
Speaker
I hope you had a blessed 2023.
00:20:45
Speaker
And I hope that you have an even...
00:20:47
Speaker
stronger and bless 2024 and that you know by the will of god or grace of god that we get amen next year you know yes i'm hoping to see you at portfest in january you know whatever whatever i can do to to to help make sure you attend let me know you know sometimes you gotta you gotta speak it like you say i didn't i don't have tickets and here i am because um that's the best part about portfest as well um
00:21:15
Speaker
First of all, they do give me a code for discount.
00:21:19
Speaker
And then they also...
00:21:22
Speaker
which they actually just rolled them out yesterday, I believe.
00:21:27
Speaker
Yes, I signed up for them.
00:21:29
Speaker
They give you, like, they have this bring a listener.
00:21:32
Speaker
So if you have a show and you have engaging listeners who you're like, I want to give them for being loyal.
00:21:40
Speaker
So they do give a few tickets for people too, if they want to bring a listener or, you know.
00:21:46
Speaker
And funny enough also, Buzzsprout,
00:21:51
Speaker
Podmatch, shout out to Alex.
00:21:54
Speaker
They normally buy a bunch of tickets and even more pod and they always give them out.
00:21:58
Speaker
But it's just, the thing is when they do that, it's always towards the end of the, this is like, I know you start seeing them like in January, but it's kind of too late because not everybody can fly last minute.
00:22:15
Speaker
I have to plan ahead.
00:22:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:18
Speaker
I'm a planner too.
00:22:19
Speaker
I'm a planner.
00:22:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:21
Speaker
And when you leave paycheck to paycheck, oh shit, you got a plan ahead.
00:22:26
Speaker
I can't last minute.
00:22:28
Speaker
Yeah, that's me too.
00:22:29
Speaker
That is me too, for sure.
00:22:31
Speaker
I can't wait for the day where I'm in that place where, oh,
00:22:36
Speaker
Let's go.
00:22:37
Speaker
I'm going to Denver, you know, for Podfest Movement.
00:22:40
Speaker
That's one place I haven't attended yet, Podfest Movement.
00:22:42
Speaker
So I'm hoping maybe next year because I know they're going to be in BC next year.
00:22:48
Speaker
But so, yeah, I got you a ticket, you know.
00:22:51
Speaker
I did get two tickets, so I got a ticket.
00:22:55
Speaker
Yeah, we will circle back.
00:22:57
Speaker
I'm going to slide in your DMs again, so look out for that.
00:23:00
Speaker
Slide in my DMs, baby.
00:23:03
Speaker
Where can my listeners find you?
00:23:06
Speaker
You can find me anywhere and everywhere where you stream music at Stockship Whippy and all social media platforms, Stockship Whippy.
00:23:16
Speaker
I'm more active on Instagram.
00:23:18
Speaker
So if you follow me on Instagram, you will get a DM and a voice message.
00:23:24
Speaker
And, you know, I'm open to connecting, collaborating, doing whatever.
00:23:29
Speaker
I'm very big on supporting each other and working together because, you know,
00:23:33
Speaker
There's enough room for all of us to win.
00:23:36
Speaker
And like my girl Issa Rae says, I'm rooting for everybody black.
00:23:42
Speaker
Period.
00:23:43
Speaker
Period.
00:23:44
Speaker
Period.
00:23:45
Speaker
Well, this concludes our host-to-host series episode.
00:23:48
Speaker
Thank you so much again for joining me, Paula.
00:23:51
Speaker
And as always, you guys, don't forget to be a kind person.
00:23:53
Speaker
You feel me?
00:23:55
Speaker
Bye.
00:23:56
Speaker
Go feel your feelings.
00:23:59
Speaker
That's going to be in the promo right there.
00:24:01
Speaker
That's true.