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Adapting To Your AbilitieZ ft. Jake April, Disability Advocate
4 Plays2 years ago
🍁 Happy October! Welcome to another episode!! Today I welcome Jake April- a Disability Advocate and Podcast Host based in New York. He contributes to "The Unsealed"- where people can enter poetry contests and submit letters in a public forum. Jake was born with CP- cerebral palsy; it does not define him- it's a part of him! As he shares his story, Jake has dreams of being a sports journalist. We chat about his physical disability, love for LOVE IS BLIND, a writer, and his dream of becoming a motivational speaker. SHARE YOUR COMMUNITY STORIEZ!: https://forms.gle/dAaithxuJeVtr2Qe8 (You may get a shoutout!) Listen to more interviews and subscribe to "Feel Your FeelingZ" here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-feel-your-feelingz-podcast/id1673148400 Follow Jake on his socials: YouTube channel: @adapting2yourabilities482 💚Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adapting2yourabilities/ Linktree: https://linktr.ee/jakeapril (view his written work!)The Unsealed: Unseal Your Greatness: https://a.co/d/iP3CeHXUnseal Change: https://a.co/d/cSlORS1 Follow Victoria on socials: https://linktr.ee/astoldbyvictoria_ Subscribe above and follow me here to stay plugged in: Website- ufeelme.univer.se https://twitter.com/fyfzpod https://www.facebook.com/thefyfzpodcast https://www.instagram.com/feelyourfeelingzpod Email: Serious/Business inquiries only. thefyfzpodcast@outlook.com 😁
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Background
00:00:06
Speaker
Hello, welcome or welcome back to the Feel Your Feelings podcast.
00:00:10
Speaker
My name is Victoria Macanjewola and I am your host.
00:00:13
Speaker
Today I am joined by Jake April.
00:00:16
Speaker
Jake is based in New York.
00:00:18
Speaker
We're both in the same writing group called The Unsealed, which is founded by Lauren Brill.
00:00:24
Speaker
And Jake is, he reached out to me because he wants to share his story.
00:00:30
Speaker
And I'm so glad to have him on my podcast today.
00:00:34
Speaker
And first and foremost, Jake, how are you feeling?
00:00:37
Speaker
Yeah, thank you very much, Victoria.
00:00:39
Speaker
I'm feeling good.
00:00:41
Speaker
I'm blessed to have a platform like this to be able to tell my story on.
00:00:47
Speaker
So all is well with me.
00:00:49
Speaker
How are you doing today?
00:00:51
Speaker
Well, thank you for asking.
00:00:53
Speaker
I am doing well.
00:00:54
Speaker
I'm back in my studio, so to speak.
00:00:57
Speaker
Basically my room with my new logo back here, but I'm feeling good.
00:01:02
Speaker
I enjoy this podcasting process and talking to people and getting to know people, especially wanting to hear your story
Love is Blind and Disability Perspectives
00:01:10
Speaker
now.
00:01:10
Speaker
So thank you for reaching out to me.
00:01:12
Speaker
No problem.
00:01:13
Speaker
Thank you.
00:01:14
Speaker
Yeah, awesome.
00:01:15
Speaker
So what do you enjoy doing?
00:01:16
Speaker
I know we kind of spoke a little bit about Love is Blind, so let's get into it.
00:01:21
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm a big self-development kind of person, so you would think Love is Blind is not really self-development.
00:01:32
Speaker
It's just a drama and love story.
00:01:36
Speaker
But in watching it, I've watched...
00:01:40
Speaker
several seasons now and being a physically disabled person, that's the first thing you notice about me.
00:01:52
Speaker
And in Love is Blind, for those who don't know about it, it's basically what it says because you have a wall that you talk to the other person about, that you talk to the other person with, excuse me.
00:02:11
Speaker
And you don't get to see them until you get engaged.
00:02:15
Speaker
So that's really cool for me to think about because it gets rid of the stigma that is your physical appearance.
00:02:28
Speaker
Yeah, first impressions.
00:02:30
Speaker
For me, I think it's a little bit different than the average person because I am very cognizant of my physical appearance.
00:02:43
Speaker
Not to say others aren't, excuse me.
00:02:45
Speaker
I'm in a minority that tells people that I have a physical difference.
00:02:53
Speaker
And I don't know if you feel the same way being in a minority yourself,
00:02:59
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:03:00
Speaker
But yeah, the show has really helped me figure out what is truly important, which is the values that you are aligned with when it comes to life.
00:03:13
Speaker
And that's what creates love.
00:03:16
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:03:16
Speaker
And I love that you opened up.
00:03:18
Speaker
Thank you for sharing more about, you know, your physical disability because shows like Love is Blind, and that's such a fantastic example.
00:03:25
Speaker
And I love the Seattle season as well.
00:03:28
Speaker
And, you know, maybe it's an idea, but maybe, you know, have you thought about pitching shows like Love is Blind and
00:03:35
Speaker
asking them to have perhaps a show featuring people with disabilities on the show, you know?
00:03:42
Speaker
Would it be something that you would be interested in?
00:03:44
Speaker
Well, I think people, one of my cohorts or just someone I know, acquaintance, is doing that.
00:03:58
Speaker
But I actually think having people with disabilities on it
00:04:05
Speaker
altogether just having a dedicated season would not really detriment the purpose of it actually and include it because for me the reason why I am very keen to watching it is because I watch other people without physical disabilities and
00:04:32
Speaker
not care about what you're looking like.
00:04:36
Speaker
And if you have a physical disability, knowing that you have a physical disability going into it, you're going to have preconceived notions possibly because you don't know if the person's, if the person behind that wall is, you probably know it by their name, but
00:05:00
Speaker
you sometimes you don't know if they're black, white, European, and if there was a mixed race, if there was a season dedicated to those who have disabilities, you would kind of know what it was.
00:05:18
Speaker
So you would have a preconceived notion.
00:05:21
Speaker
So for me, it would be,
00:05:24
Speaker
advantageous to have someone who is disabled within the mix of people that are showcased on the show.
00:05:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:37
Speaker
Hey, that's a good point.
00:05:38
Speaker
And I would honestly love to see a pitch proposal to the producers because one of the
00:05:43
Speaker
one of the, what are they called?
00:05:45
Speaker
One of the people that was on this season in Seattle, Chelsea, she's going to start working as a producer for Love is Blind, which I think is great because it's the first time that someone from the pods is now participating behind the scenes and gets to call the shots.
00:06:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:00
Speaker
Cause she's been in the situation.
00:06:02
Speaker
So, I mean, I would shoot my shot.
00:06:05
Speaker
I don't know if I would want to get married right away.
00:06:10
Speaker
Um, like that.
00:06:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:12
Speaker
Um,
00:06:12
Speaker
maybe kind of a girlfriend boyfriend kind of thing or if you're homosexual that girlfriend boyfriend boyfriend kind of thing binary I'm not trying to be one way I'm trying to be inclusive here so yeah right totally totally and you know maybe we will maybe we will get to see that in the future hopefully that'll be cool
00:06:40
Speaker
Okay, so we're both involved in the Unsealed.
The Unsealed and Its Impact
00:06:42
Speaker
So the Unsealed is a writing group where you can write open letters on the platform.
00:06:48
Speaker
So basically like a dear Oprah, right?
00:06:51
Speaker
And you just write your heart out.
00:06:53
Speaker
And it was created by Lauren Brill.
00:06:56
Speaker
So shout out to Lauren if you're watching this, hey.
00:07:00
Speaker
But I love that group because it allows me to
00:07:05
Speaker
to write freely and just like connect pen to paper and that's something that I've been trying to get better at and more consistent with is my writing.
00:07:13
Speaker
So my question for you Jake is how did you get involved with The Unsealed?
00:07:17
Speaker
It was actually an interesting story if you believe in the higher power which I do.
00:07:24
Speaker
Yeah I do too.
00:07:25
Speaker
Faith over fear.
00:07:31
Speaker
So one of the people that I confided in my life about my disability and felt comfortable with doing it, my family, of course, but other than that, it's not really something I'll speak about, about my own things regularly.
00:07:52
Speaker
And one of the people that I spoke about with it on a regular basis almost
00:07:59
Speaker
all our conversations were about it, but not in a way of sympathy or empathy.
00:08:06
Speaker
It was just a way of... With Lauren?
00:08:08
Speaker
Lauren?
00:08:09
Speaker
No, learning.
00:08:12
Speaker
No.
00:08:13
Speaker
With this person that I'm going to bring up was my... Oh, I see.
00:08:18
Speaker
I see.
00:08:18
Speaker
Was my cousin.
00:08:19
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:20
Speaker
She was planning to be an occupational therapist.
00:08:23
Speaker
She unfortunately died of a...
00:08:27
Speaker
heart condition.
00:08:28
Speaker
So thank you very much.
00:08:31
Speaker
So I was going and speaking with my aunt, who's a psychologist and telling her about my difficulties about just living with a disability and living.
00:08:48
Speaker
And she suggested that I go and look up one Alison Cohen in, um, in,
00:08:56
Speaker
on Instagram, excuse me, who's a psychologist, and she was doing a, um, a interview with the unsealed, so when I saw her name pop up, and the unsealed pop up, I, uh, I looked into it, and
00:09:15
Speaker
I'm actually trying to be a sportscaster myself.
00:09:19
Speaker
So Lauren and I have that together, have that interest together.
00:09:26
Speaker
And she served as a mentor to me.
00:09:28
Speaker
And actually, Lauren is the middle name of my cousin.
00:09:34
Speaker
So I kind of really saw it as like a sign.
00:09:37
Speaker
That connection.
00:09:38
Speaker
That connection, yeah.
00:09:39
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool.
00:09:41
Speaker
showed me that it was okay to open up, um, with others about my disability and, and it's a complicated story, but I hope I explained it relatively well.
00:09:55
Speaker
Yeah, totally.
00:09:56
Speaker
Totally.
00:09:57
Speaker
I think we all have our own unique ways.
00:09:59
Speaker
Cause I've also connected with, uh, other people from the group to James, uh, Jamie Ellifritz as well, who was on my podcast.
00:10:05
Speaker
Um, he's also, uh,
00:10:08
Speaker
into sports and everything so I think for me coming into the unsealed I really don't really know how I found it I think I just kind of stumbled on it I honestly I don't know but I had sent the the company like a message on Instagram about membership and like how it works and like they responded back and then it was like this is Lauren by the way like I'm the the founder and I was like she's so responsive
00:10:34
Speaker
So I think that really stuck with me, like the willingness to like answer my questions and just kind of bring me into the process.
00:10:41
Speaker
And she makes us feel so welcome whenever we're in one of the meetings or workshops.
00:10:47
Speaker
And she feels so welcome because the reason why she started it was because of her experience.
00:10:55
Speaker
her battled with with sexual assault and yeah writing an open letter about that so if someone who leads the charge is actually going and opening up about their story
00:11:10
Speaker
it's much easier for you to open up about yours.
00:11:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:16
Speaker
Having a platform such as Unsealed for a website is great.
00:11:21
Speaker
Now we've gotten into books as well.
00:11:24
Speaker
Yeah, new books.
00:11:25
Speaker
Yeah, new books.
00:11:26
Speaker
And I've seen that you've been published.
00:11:29
Speaker
So, congratulations.
00:11:31
Speaker
Wait, was I?
00:11:32
Speaker
I have not seen it yet, so I haven't.
00:11:34
Speaker
Maybe I...
00:11:35
Speaker
Maybe it was a different Victoria?
00:11:37
Speaker
Maybe, but I have yet to see it, so I'm sorry, Lauren.
00:11:41
Speaker
I know you've been promoting it, but I haven't got a chance to go.
00:11:44
Speaker
I will link it in the description, but I haven't got a chance to check it out.
00:11:49
Speaker
I believe.
00:11:49
Speaker
I'm going to look.
00:11:52
Speaker
But, yeah, just having different ways to promote our stories and feel accepted into a community.
00:12:02
Speaker
You know, when you meet
00:12:05
Speaker
each other, you know, the purpose of it, and you know that you're going to be backed and understood by everyone in the crowd, which you don't always, is not always a guarantee for life.
00:12:21
Speaker
So having that platform and going into it, sorry, I get emotional, but having a platform and
00:12:30
Speaker
And going into it every week in which I know that the people that I see in that Zoom box know how to empathize with me and I do as well or sympathize with me and I do as well.
00:12:44
Speaker
That's just a great version of therapy for me.
00:12:50
Speaker
And it's dramatically changed my life for the better.
00:12:55
Speaker
Yeah, that's a priceless feeling.
00:12:57
Speaker
I know Lauren's going to love this when she sees it, so I can't wait for her to see this.
Vulnerability and Personal Growth
00:13:02
Speaker
So, okay, so on to joy, right?
00:13:05
Speaker
The feeling of joy.
00:13:07
Speaker
What has bought you joy in the last week?
00:13:09
Speaker
I think knowing that I would be on this podcast, actually.
00:13:14
Speaker
Stop, stop.
00:13:16
Speaker
Well, no, I really enjoy the fact that
00:13:22
Speaker
I get to be on other people's podcasts and be able to vocalize my story.
00:13:35
Speaker
And I think as I've done the internal work as well, I've figured out what helps me and what doesn't help me.
00:13:44
Speaker
And I think that it's interesting because every story is unique.
00:13:49
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:13:51
Speaker
I actually, I was talking about this with my psychologist because we see motivational videos every day telling us what we should do and get up and do everything.
00:14:06
Speaker
But it doesn't actually tell us that we should reflect on what we've been doing.
00:14:18
Speaker
That is part of the purpose, part of the process.
00:14:22
Speaker
And the first kind of chapter of the book is accepting that you've gone through pain.
00:14:30
Speaker
And you don't need to forget about that pain.
00:14:37
Speaker
It's okay to say that that is still bothering you.
00:14:43
Speaker
It just so happened that today I was doing well, but some days...
00:14:48
Speaker
on here, like you're gonna ask how people are doing and for you it's authentic.
00:14:54
Speaker
So sometimes we're gonna say, I'm not doing as great as I thought because I'm in my head and feeling about those experiences that hurt me very much.
00:15:10
Speaker
But if I didn't know about those experiences, I wouldn't be able to go on the other side.
00:15:15
Speaker
and get through the tide that is so hard to get through.
00:15:21
Speaker
You're gonna go in waves, but as long as you're trying to hit the wave with your own strength and hit the tide with your own strength, go forward most of the days is great.
00:15:41
Speaker
You're gonna have bad days,
00:15:43
Speaker
I'm going to have bad days.
00:15:44
Speaker
You're going to have bad days.
00:15:46
Speaker
Everyone in the world is going to have a bad day.
00:15:50
Speaker
And if you don't think about it, just listen to the news where you actually see like Gordon Ramsay lost his son and stuff like that.
00:16:04
Speaker
I think it was Gordon Ramsay.
00:16:06
Speaker
So you see and you see that no one's
00:16:11
Speaker
No one's accepted or excluded from pain, no matter who they are.
00:16:18
Speaker
And just because they don't show it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
00:16:24
Speaker
That is...
00:16:25
Speaker
absolutely real um yeah yesterday was kind of one of those roller coaster days for me but I don't show up in that right every day we change like every day I feel like I bring a different version of myself and I try to bring the best version of myself but like you said some days you're just gonna be like
00:16:50
Speaker
I'm not it.
00:16:50
Speaker
I'm not, I'm not my best version of myself.
00:16:54
Speaker
And I think that's something that Gen Z kind of struggles with is embracing vulnerability.
00:16:59
Speaker
And I saw a post and I've been thinking about it for a while is that we are, when it comes to dating, when it comes to relationships, when it comes to friendships, there is an unwillingness to be vulnerable with other people because we don't trust other people.
00:17:15
Speaker
Because it's like if you are vulnerable, there's a sense that if you're vulnerable with other people, then they could take that and use it against you as like a weakness or something, you know?
00:17:23
Speaker
So it definitely starts with trust.
00:17:26
Speaker
And that's something that I'm really wanting to cultivate authentically on this podcast, not just with other people, but like starting with myself as well.
00:17:34
Speaker
It starts with yourself because if it doesn't start with yourself, then you're trauma bonding, which doesn't mean, which doesn't,
00:17:44
Speaker
sit well with you or the other person.
00:17:46
Speaker
Exactly.
00:17:46
Speaker
So it's important to actually, no pun intended, but it's important to write about it first.
00:17:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:54
Speaker
If you're journaling it or if you're writing about it, it's important.
00:17:59
Speaker
And you asked what my hobbies were.
00:18:04
Speaker
Yeah, what bought you
Writing and Storytelling for Reflection
00:18:06
Speaker
joy, yeah.
00:18:06
Speaker
Yeah, what I enjoy, I enjoy writing is that, but also listening to books is that as well.
00:18:13
Speaker
And if I want to get closer to a person, I think what I discovered is like, hey, I don't want to tell them all about my life just yet.
00:18:27
Speaker
Because they're just in my life.
00:18:30
Speaker
They just came into my life.
00:18:32
Speaker
Right.
00:18:33
Speaker
Do I, I want to give them a peek of what my life is about.
00:18:38
Speaker
So instead of me telling my story, I'm going to use someone else's story who already has written a book about something, not necessarily about me per se, but about the struggles of dealing with X, Y, and Z and how to come, come
00:19:10
Speaker
not how to come up with it, but how to not overcome it, but how to come to grips with it and flow into the other side.
00:19:22
Speaker
Of course, there's going to be riptides, but try your best to go to the other side.
00:19:28
Speaker
And I think that's what is great about books is because it doesn't need to be the same exact story for everyone.
00:19:38
Speaker
but they can relate to other people's stories.
00:19:41
Speaker
And Lauren says all the time is when she reads this story, she said, it's not my story, but I can pick a part of at least one part of every story that I relate to.
00:19:56
Speaker
So that's the great part about writing and reading books and, and,
00:20:04
Speaker
Watching shows, because you can talk about things that aren't personal to you, but the topics that are personal to you are important to bring up.
00:20:19
Speaker
But now it's not about you, it's about the thing that you're watching.
00:20:24
Speaker
So that makes it easier to bring up vulnerable topics, I believe.
00:20:30
Speaker
I hope that makes sense.
00:20:32
Speaker
No, absolutely.
00:20:33
Speaker
That resonates so well.
00:20:34
Speaker
There's shows that I'm even watching right now that they talk about things that resonate in my own personal life as well and bridging those gaps.
00:20:45
Speaker
I think the most important thing you said was about journaling.
00:20:47
Speaker
That's something that I definitely want to get better at is just journaling my thoughts more.
00:20:53
Speaker
I do video diaries, but actually writing things down.
00:20:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:00
Speaker
But you mentioned books and everything.
00:21:02
Speaker
This brings me to our speed round.
00:21:04
Speaker
Are you ready?
00:21:05
Speaker
Yes.
00:21:06
Speaker
Okay, let's do it.
00:21:07
Speaker
Okay, so the first question is, what's the last song that you listened to?
00:21:14
Speaker
I think it's 3000 by the Jonas Brothers.
00:21:18
Speaker
I like the Jonas Brothers.
00:21:20
Speaker
I like the JoBros.
00:21:21
Speaker
They were in Dallas for a concert recently.
00:21:24
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:21:25
Speaker
I didn't go, but they were here.
00:21:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:28
Speaker
Finish this sentence.
00:21:29
Speaker
I truly believe that.
00:21:35
Speaker
I can't overcome my difficulties, but I can improve them.
00:21:42
Speaker
Mmm.
00:21:43
Speaker
Mmm.
00:21:44
Speaker
That's good.
00:21:45
Speaker
That's a good one, Jake.
00:21:47
Speaker
My favorite book is?
00:21:49
Speaker
My favorite book is The Eight Rules of Love by Jay Shetty.
00:21:53
Speaker
Oh, stop.
00:21:55
Speaker
That's on my list.
00:21:56
Speaker
I was, okay, so I was flying to, no, I was flying back home from LA, and the lady on the seat next to me was saying that she read the book.
00:22:05
Speaker
And I was like, okay, I have to put that on my list, so...
00:22:08
Speaker
That's another sign.
00:22:09
Speaker
I need to read that book.
00:22:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:11
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:11
Speaker
In two words, I would tell my younger self to.
00:22:14
Speaker
Evaluate differently.
00:22:25
Speaker
Evaluate differently?
00:22:27
Speaker
Yes.
00:22:28
Speaker
Can you explain a little bit?
00:22:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:34
Speaker
I think when we're
00:22:38
Speaker
When we're younger, we get in a point where we're so influenced by other people and we evaluate ourselves based on how they interact.
00:22:57
Speaker
Maybe we pick a celebrity or someone that we watch on TV
00:23:06
Speaker
Hey, I love their song, but do I love them as a person?
00:23:12
Speaker
So we can say, we can put the two separate and say, Hey, I love their song, but I don't love their values.
00:23:26
Speaker
So let me evaluate.
00:23:30
Speaker
okay, I still love their song.
00:23:32
Speaker
I don't love their values.
00:23:34
Speaker
But who else could I go to that maybe I don't love their song, but I love their values.
00:23:43
Speaker
So if we can make up ourselves through a portion of other people, that is how we're going to grow in life.
00:23:55
Speaker
I love that.
00:23:57
Speaker
Absolutely love that.
00:23:58
Speaker
How are you winning differently?
00:24:00
Speaker
That's been one of my favorite answers so far.
00:24:03
Speaker
So that's going to stick with me.
00:24:06
Speaker
Okay, so last one for you is right now I feel.
00:24:09
Speaker
Right now I feel.
00:24:13
Speaker
Right now
Personal Growth and Broadcasting Goals
00:24:18
Speaker
I feel.
00:24:18
Speaker
Like I'm growing as a person.
00:24:26
Speaker
I feel that I'm able to say, see, hey, I'm not to the angle yet, but I can make steps to that angle.
00:24:39
Speaker
For example, I want to be in broadcasting.
00:24:44
Speaker
I'm not broadcasting for ESPN.
00:24:47
Speaker
That's my goal, but I could at least try to
00:24:51
Speaker
broadcast by myself and try to be as better as I can.
00:25:00
Speaker
I'm not doing it right now in that aspect, but my other goal is to be a motivational speaker.
00:25:09
Speaker
So there's ways that I could, I'm doing that right now to help me progress in my speaking by having
00:25:20
Speaker
taking opportunities like yeah to elevate my my presence and my work and review it and see what i can i can make it make better and yeah i think when we are evaluating things for me especially remember i should remember to stamp this point or have you stamp it if you don't mind um
00:25:50
Speaker
on like the recording, we should make sure that we're critical of ourselves, but also make sure that we give ourselves grace.
00:26:09
Speaker
So as I'm looking for this, I'm gonna tell myself that, hey, possibly my voice was
00:26:18
Speaker
a little bit high on that.
00:26:22
Speaker
But then what I deliver was that more valuable than what I said.
00:26:31
Speaker
What I delivered more important than if I said it wrong.
00:26:38
Speaker
If it resonated right.
00:26:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:41
Speaker
Totally.
00:26:42
Speaker
That for me,
00:26:44
Speaker
is important.
00:26:47
Speaker
When you, there's always another side of the coin often.
00:26:51
Speaker
What we do as people is we take that one side of the coin that everyone is gravitating to and most of it is negative.
00:27:01
Speaker
And the mind is built to be negative.
00:27:04
Speaker
So we're gravitating towards that, that side of the coin that says, well, your voice was bad on this or, or,
00:27:14
Speaker
You didn't look so good on this with your headphones on or whatever for me.
00:27:21
Speaker
But I, but when it comes down to it, is that important?
00:27:28
Speaker
No, because what's important is the message that I am trying to convey.
00:27:36
Speaker
So that's the ultimate goal here is the message that I'm trying to convey.
00:27:41
Speaker
Now,
00:27:42
Speaker
If I came on here looking messy, it was noticeable that I was messy and my hair was all bad and people could notice it.
00:27:54
Speaker
That's a red flag because you don't want to bring attention to something that you think is negative.
00:28:02
Speaker
But it needs to be obvious.
00:28:06
Speaker
So if I didn't brush my hair today and I looked
00:28:12
Speaker
like my hair was all over my face and you couldn't see my eyes, then that would be something to change.
00:28:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:20
Speaker
If I didn't like the way my hair was combed today, it was confined, but it was confined to other people, but it wasn't confined to my liking, then that's something I need to take into account and say, hey, I'm being too hard on myself for this instance.
00:28:42
Speaker
And oftentimes, while we're reflecting and saying, yeah, we're being too hard on ourselves.
00:28:50
Speaker
That's the ultimate goal here is to recognize that there's a place to be hard on yourself and there's a place to give grace to what you are doing at this moment.
00:29:03
Speaker
Lauren asked me to give a positive, I guess, about my disability yesterday or
00:29:11
Speaker
She put it in this, in some kind of way.
00:29:16
Speaker
So I said, because I started off with, um, with a story about my body said, I love you, but I severely dislike you.
00:29:29
Speaker
So she asked me why I loved it and why I severely disliked it.
00:29:36
Speaker
I, I love it because it teaches me things, but I hate it because it
00:29:42
Speaker
it points itself out every single day to someone else.
00:29:46
Speaker
And I have trouble looking back at what's great about it.
00:29:51
Speaker
But looking back, when I was in 11th grade or something like that, I wasn't putting on my clothes myself because I didn't think that was important for my growth.
00:30:09
Speaker
I wanted to go to college, so I,
00:30:12
Speaker
learned how to do it.
00:30:14
Speaker
And I now put my clothes on myself.
00:30:16
Speaker
I shower myself.
00:30:18
Speaker
I put my sneakers on myself.
00:30:20
Speaker
And is that a big deal right now?
00:30:24
Speaker
No, because I do it every single day.
00:30:27
Speaker
But reflect and take a moment to know that it was a big deal one time, one time in point.
00:30:37
Speaker
And yeah,
00:30:39
Speaker
What that is for you is different for me, but reflect and take the moment to say, Hey, X and Y was hard for me to do a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, and now I'm doing it two years ago.
00:30:58
Speaker
Whatever timeframe it is appropriate for you to do, just say, Hey, I'm,
00:31:09
Speaker
I'm still not there.
00:31:11
Speaker
I want to grow.
00:31:13
Speaker
But I've grown so much throughout this time.
00:31:18
Speaker
And when you add it up, I've grown more than what I need to grow now.
00:31:23
Speaker
So just take that in mind and realize that you've done so much more than you thought you've done.
00:31:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:33
Speaker
We deserve a pat on our back for that.
00:31:39
Speaker
We just take days and hours just like evaporate in time and we don't reflect.
00:31:52
Speaker
I'm like when you first started to feel your feelings, you didn't get as many views that you get now.
00:31:59
Speaker
And then you have like, you had an author on and that was a big deal.
00:32:05
Speaker
It was.
00:32:05
Speaker
TikTok's number one author, by the way.
00:32:09
Speaker
It was, yeah.
00:32:10
Speaker
It's a big deal, and your first podcast was a big deal.
00:32:15
Speaker
So it's not that I don't want to keep growing.
00:32:22
Speaker
I do.
00:32:23
Speaker
But the way you keep growing is by having grace for yourself.
00:32:28
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:29
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:31
Speaker
Keyword.
00:32:32
Speaker
Keyword.
00:32:32
Speaker
That's something I'm going to take and I'm going to run with it.
00:32:35
Speaker
I'm just putting it in my back pocket.
00:32:36
Speaker
I'm just taking that for the rest of the day, honestly.
Conclusion and Gratitude
00:32:40
Speaker
Jake, this has been an amazing podcast.
00:32:42
Speaker
Truly, truly from the bottom of my heart.
00:32:45
Speaker
Thank you for being here and for sharing your story with me.
00:32:50
Speaker
And I just hope you do many, many, many more of these speaking engagements, podcasting.
00:32:54
Speaker
I'm really rooting for you.
00:32:55
Speaker
So where can my audience find you and where can they keep up with you?
00:32:59
Speaker
Yeah, first of all, Victoria, I sincerely appreciate that.
00:33:03
Speaker
As I said, your audience is only growing, so that is going to help me.
00:33:09
Speaker
You can keep up with me on Instagram at adapting2, the number 2, your abilities.
00:33:18
Speaker
So that's A-D-A-P-T-I-N-G.
00:33:22
Speaker
to the number two, your Y-O-U-R abilities is A-B-I-L-I-T-I-E-S.
00:33:33
Speaker
I think I got that right.
00:33:35
Speaker
I'll link it in the description.
00:33:38
Speaker
I'm not a great speller.
00:33:40
Speaker
It's okay.
00:33:42
Speaker
Do that in this age.
00:33:43
Speaker
But you can do that and you can, of course, follow me on Don and Steel.
00:33:48
Speaker
My username is J-A-P-R-L and
00:33:52
Speaker
Go check out all the fantastic work that everyone has done on The Unsealed and give Lauren props for what she's doing.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yes, props to Lauren, props to The Unsealed, all the amazing work that's going on out there.
00:34:06
Speaker
I just, yeah, I love what she's doing.
00:34:09
Speaker
And maybe I'll have her on the podcast sometime.
00:34:12
Speaker
Most definitely.
00:34:14
Speaker
For sure, for sure.
00:34:15
Speaker
And yeah, the broadcasting thing, go for it, go for it.
00:34:18
Speaker
I can't wait to see you.
00:34:23
Speaker
You guys, you're welcome.
00:34:26
Speaker
Don't forget to be a kind person, you guys.
00:34:27
Speaker
You feel me?
00:34:28
Speaker
Bye.