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How Do You Stay Present When Life Gets Messy? ft. Diana Valdes
9 Plays6 months ago
What's up Feelers?! Welcome or welcome back to a new episode of the pod. Today I'm joined by my fellow alumna Diana Valdes, a USC Masters grad and San Diego, CA based Product Designer. We chat about our post-grad lives, #MESSY memories from grad school, and future goals
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Keep up: @uh.dianaangelica on IG Her Substack: www.dianavaldes.substack.com My stuff: @fyfzpod_ on IG @astoldbyvictoria Made on Zencastr - Get 15% off any paid plan! https://zencastr.com?via=victoria-makanjuola (CODE: VICTORIA15) COMMUNITY VOICEZ JOTFORM: https://form.jotform.com/252015052149144?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf-byEJuUosERKN0fnNKYIV4FZcUpH_rivNDKjsAUEkksn4d4D7TKG3fs0Kug_aem_Q0a_LsaLBuG1HKKGNvNBSQ Sharing is caring :)
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Feel Your Feelings'
00:00:06
Speaker
Hey there, I'm Victoria Maconjola and you're listening to Feel Your Feelings, the podcast where high achievers get real about mental wellness. You feel me? Welcome to season one and honey, we're about to get messy.
Checking In: How Are You Feeling?
00:00:28
Speaker
All right, Diana. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to have you. So I'm curious to know, how are you feeling right now in this moment? oh and Well, first of all, thanks for having me. I'm super excited.
00:00:41
Speaker
um And to answer that question, i think I'm feeling present in this moment, which is something that I've been, had been i had hard a hard time with for a while.
Struggling with Productivity Pressure
00:00:55
Speaker
um you know with school and everything and work and it just feels like I finally I'm at a point where I have space to just be and not feel like I'm falling behind or like I need to rush or be productive and I'm just allowing myself to be just to be and to be present and i enjoy the little moments so I love that right now. i also feel present.
00:01:24
Speaker
This is my second podcast episode of the day. And I'm so proud of myself for getting up early, even though I felt scrambled and doing an episode and now doing another episode. So I feel like I'm getting on top of my my goals for the season and like pushing forward because I want to be ahead of the curb and kind of post episodes in advance instead of like when they come up.
AI in Content Creation
00:01:46
Speaker
So doing outreach, just pushing myself to like be better, do sponsorships. I'm using my, my, I used AI as like my, to create a content guide for me. So I highly recommend Claude.ai.
00:01:58
Speaker
No sponsors, but maybe they should be my next sponsor. Um, so what, what emotion best describes your life right now? Like best describes where you are in life right now?
Curiosity Without Judgment
00:02:14
Speaker
Oh, that's, that's a good one. Oh, um,
00:02:19
Speaker
What emotion? i think it would be, don't know. That's a tough one. There's always like, in this moment, I would say, I've i've been feeling very curious or a lot like just allowing myself to be curious.
00:02:40
Speaker
And um yeah, just, again, it it comes back to that moment, like, the moments of being just present and being curious about, um,
00:02:59
Speaker
or allowing myself to be curious as opposed to, um, judging myself for for you know doing things or you know just got a master's what am I gonna do with my life um I should be where should I be should I be here should I be somewhere else um just like a lot of things that have been going in my head and in terms in those terms And just thinking of reframing that from from feeling like I have high expectations for where I should be right now to be more curious as to like, well, you know, look what do i actually, what actually like catches my attention?
00:03:41
Speaker
Even if it's like a small thing and where does that take me? And maybe I don't have to um know everything right now. maybe Maybe right now I can just be curious about, i don't know.
00:03:55
Speaker
um An alley I haven't explored before. Right. And and maybe that, ah you know, inspires me to do something that then inspires me to do something else. And that's usually when the best work happens.
00:04:09
Speaker
And um yeah, it's nice to come back too to that space. to that space Yeah. Yeah. you and You and I chatted ah prior, you know, about our stories. We both went where we where we are now in life since graduation.
00:04:28
Speaker
And, you know, I both graduated, you know, from USC. And, you know, since then we're pursuing different
Diana's Morning Rituals and Writing Routine
00:04:35
Speaker
avenues. I'm back home in Texas. You're San Diego. based right now, you're product designer, you're also a writer. like Can you tell me a little bit more about what you're writing and like what what kind of does your day-to-day process look like?
00:04:50
Speaker
Yeah. um maybe i'll yeah So I'll start with a day-to-day. um it's, it's very important for me to start slow, um, to not look at my phone. Yeah. To not look at my phone.
00:05:05
Speaker
Um, and to just, just try to wake up easy. It's hard to do that sometimes, especially when there's a lot going on, but, um, but I try to wake up easy and, and, and take my dog on a walk or get ready, make coffee. And,
00:05:22
Speaker
um the space, creating a space for different, I call them like morning to rituals is very important for me. Like, um um there's yeah.
00:05:41
Speaker
It's so hard to not do that too, especially when there's just like a lot going on. um But I tried, you know, I read the artist way and I tried to finish. I didn't finish it.
00:06:12
Speaker
Yeah. Well, i read it back in, believe it was like 2020. And I went through through ah very interesting experience back then. I was living by myself first time.
00:06:27
Speaker
And I was alone i with my dog, um but alone really. And so didn't really have, um during the pandemic, you know, it was hard.
00:06:37
Speaker
And so I really leaned into that creative space. um and And part of that process was reading the book.
Creativity and Pandemic Writing
00:06:45
Speaker
And what I took out of it was mostly, or what stayed with me was the morning pages.
00:06:50
Speaker
um And that's where I started writing more and more. And I started to realize that my writing um was coming through and different ways and in different spaces. and um And I started, i actually wrote a book. Yeah.
00:07:09
Speaker
I just had like, it was like a free flowing writing book that I was just like, I just want to write this and put it out there. And so I, I've self published on Amazon and you're, you're not going to be able to find it. but Wait, why? I was so excited. I'm like, send me the link. Like, where can I find it? where can my viewers find it?
00:07:29
Speaker
Yeah, it's unlisted. Because it was very, it was the first time that i allowed myself to really pursue that calling. I always felt something.
00:07:41
Speaker
But I never had the space to pursue it because of, you know, family situations, being an immigrant um and stuff like that. And so just, yeah. So finally having the the time to give myself that space to pursue or pay attention and listen to what was calling me.
00:08:02
Speaker
It was really around that time. and And that book came out, but it was not, like from my perspective now, it didn't really have... the structure and I feel like I just wanted to write and that was the way for me to just start and put stuff out there and I've and so the morning pages have been sort of like that grounding um process for me in the mornings too ah It's hard.
00:08:30
Speaker
I'm not perfect. I don't do it. You know, there's times when I don't do morning peaches for days. And, but I always come back to it. And so that's definitely something that i i it has stayed with me and And yeah.
00:08:45
Speaker
So, yeah, that's part of the morning process. That's good. I'm proud of you for like doing it, doing the process, because she says in each chapter, this is going to get harder. You're going to want to give up. And that just made me want to be like, oh, no, I'm still going to do my morning pages every morning. And I still have my notebook that's full of journal entries from this time last year.
00:09:04
Speaker
And this is the time last year when I moved to l L.A. So I was like at the airport right before me and my mom flew out there doing my my pages. When I got there doing my pages, it was such a messy season for me moving out there.
00:09:17
Speaker
You know, it was challenging. yeah really didn't have that much money. yeah And trying to, you know, move in and then finding a sofa and like all this stuff, getting acclimated without really knowing anyone or having friends at USC.
00:09:32
Speaker
But look at us. Look at me now. yeah On the other side, college grads talking to a fellow USC IYA grad. So I'm so, so grateful that you're here and that I'm able to like look back and reflect and be like, actually, it was okay.
00:09:46
Speaker
I came out. I came out okay on the other side. Yeah. So um anyway, you you said you're an immigrant. Where are you from originally? Yeah, Mexico. So um grew up in Mexico up until 12th. We moved to the Bay Area, Marin.
00:10:04
Speaker
And, um, I stayed there until 22 when I transferred down to UC San Diego and I, I liked San
Life Transitions: Mexico to San Diego
00:10:16
Speaker
Diego. I loved it. I didn't quite feel like I was fitting in or like I was finding my people, but there's always been that sense, like that, again, that calling of like bringing me back.
00:10:28
Speaker
And, um, and so I just as decided to follow that. I stayed here and, um, took me some time to get used to it but I think that um the pandemic was very um and instrumental in in in in who I I became and even like going to uh USC and deciding to pursue because grad school was not in my mind it was not something that I felt like I wanted to do I studied sociology um in undergrad and then I went into sales marketing and I've always been into the startup um space so I've always had an idea I've been wanting to pursue and and and stuff like that but I never really found a program that felt like I got me or like I wanted like I could really invest in and could invest in me to develop my career for till uh this one so
00:11:24
Speaker
So, yeah, it it but it was really just about following that. That calling again, like that sense of curiosity, because I remember it was like a Saturday morning that and I never did this. I woke up and I looked at Instagram and I saw an ad for the program and I got curious and I applied and i was like, oh, what?
00:11:44
Speaker
I actually got it. I love that. I love that. Because I don't think I know everyone's backstory. Our cohort was really small. So I don't really think I know how exactly everyone found out about our degree program. So like hearing your story, I'm like, oh, wow. Because like, have you heard of the butterfly effect?
00:12:04
Speaker
It's like where these little things happen, like, and then they add up, like you could be in the same room with someone, you guys don't know each other, you see each other another time. And then you'd like meet and it's like, well, like, feel like I've always known you. And like, just these little synchronicities lead up.
00:12:22
Speaker
I just found it. I found our program. Yeah. I wanted to go to USC. I wanted to do a different program. And that other program, I chatted with one of the admissions officers.
00:12:35
Speaker
And she basically told me in like, nice words, this isn't the right program for you. i don't think i don't think this will be a good fit for you, yada yada. So I was like, okay, like, that's not going to stop me.
00:12:48
Speaker
So I did a virtual tour. And I found IYA's building on the virtual tour and decided to apply. who yeah So I think that's so fascinating seeing how like you saw it from social media and all that and just all came together. That's really cool.
Creative Process: Balancing Disciplines
00:13:04
Speaker
Yeah. Um, another core question I have, cause the season is all about messy and embracing the mess. What, what's the messiest part of your success that people don't see?
00:13:16
Speaker
oh That's a good question. I think, um, I think it's in the process, honestly. And, um, in
00:13:30
Speaker
i So with what's coming to mind right now is this piece that I'm trying to put out there um that I've been sort of
00:13:43
Speaker
dancing with for a long time. um And it's an intersection of ah my sociological background. ah I paint sometimes too, so in the artist way and and writing all that stuff.
00:13:58
Speaker
ah So that too, and then being in product design and and and um designing a product for commercializing innovation. um and And I feel like it being in this and intersection, I see all of this different perspectives and and lenses through which I'm trying to make sense of what the world's going through. I think we're a very messy world right now.
00:14:24
Speaker
And, you know, right? And i can't I can, it's never felt so loud before. Um, and I think it's because I've learned a lot more. I've studied a lot more and, um, there's, and I think that me in attempt to make sense of it is, um,
00:14:48
Speaker
me wanting to write about, about it and what I think and what I see and where I see it going, um, and the opportunities that I see for, especially in designing AI products and stuff like that are human centered.
00:15:01
Speaker
Um, and I'm, I'm, so I'm working on this piece where I explore the question of what's intelligence and consciousness and, um, questioning AI as a tool,
00:15:14
Speaker
um and like is it really a tool for me a tool is something that is designed to serve a specific purpose to produce a repeatable outcome and to me AI is way more than that it if it's something that poses an existential crisis to humanity doesn't feel like a tool and yet it's being treated as that and I think there's a consumption problem with that and so there's a lot of thoughts in my mind where it just feels very messy where
00:15:46
Speaker
all of these things are coming in and in and in that process of wanting to put it on paper, put it out there. And this is part of it too. This part of the process of like, I could be talking, was talking to my boyfriend earlier about this and she's sharing about it now. and And it just feels very messy, like very, like there's, it's just everywhere.
00:16:07
Speaker
And yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah.
Integrating Creativity with Technical Roles
00:16:12
Speaker
So. Outside of this, I'm working, ah just landed a job recently in the AI field. I'm an audio model trainer. it's It's fitting, I think, me being a podcaster, because I'm literally listening to different types of AI and comparing them to like a reference.
00:16:31
Speaker
And it's very monotonous and it's it's not so much creative. It just feels very like, I don't know, right brained, very like logical, analytical.
00:16:42
Speaker
So um yeah, how how are you balancing, you know, being in a creative field and also like a very technical field? Because I i think with this is very creative for me. It's like my outlet. I feel comfortable doing this.
00:16:58
Speaker
can do this all day when I'm not working. this is what I'm doing. Like I'm editing videos. I'm thinking of who's my who my next guest is gonna be. So yeah, how how are you balancing like the the technical and the creative?
00:17:12
Speaker
And i I find that AI has been helpful in like being a middleman for both because I do use AI outside of work too. Like it's helping me with, with my, my production guide and some questions, email outreach templates and stuff like that. So how are you balancing it? Cause AI is like, is all around us everywhere. Yeah. And it's only going to right expand more.
00:17:39
Speaker
feel it's going to be even more integrated. I mean, yeah, it's, I was listening to a podcast. I forget which one it was. It was about this woman who, and I forget her name, um but she wrote a book about um the companies like OpenAI and the inside of what we don't see and what took out from that or what took what I took away from that
00:18:13
Speaker
was how ah many resources AI is consuming, especially the data centers that can only be cooled down with fresh water. And that to me felt like, whoa, like it's already, it's already threatening life, but it's not like, but not in a way that maybe we pictured, like it's already starting to, and we think there's still, and there's still more that's coming. And so,
00:18:42
Speaker
I think that the way in which I balance it is by trying to stay aware of the,
00:18:53
Speaker
and and it's not always good because then that means that i bring a lot of noise in my head. Trying to like listen and understand ah like the array of things that are happening and ah hear from these people that are more in it than I am.
00:19:12
Speaker
Um, and, and it's hard sometimes, but, um, I think it's important to be aware because when I go and, um, come up with, and don't know, a solution for designing a specific mental model for our users and so on, I try to think of, you know, it's important, like,
00:19:33
Speaker
how many resources would it be consuming if we were to ah have a button that does this? Or, you know, it's it's not necessarily ah big impact right now because we're a small company, but I try to be aware of the um ripple ripple effects that um that it could have.
00:19:56
Speaker
and And yeah, I think that a lot of mindfulness goes into it too. um process um and stepping away from the work and coming back into the works helps too um and and yeah it's it's just a it feels messy honestly does not feel like there's a recipe I guess because it's still we're still trying to figure it out um and I think that we're and regardless we're still maximizing for profit um
00:20:32
Speaker
Yeah. and And that's kind of hard too to step away from.
Podcasting Journey with Zencastr
00:20:38
Speaker
and two Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm proud of both of us for trying, for being in it and, you know, figuring it out.
00:20:48
Speaker
Because yeah bright ais is everywhere and it's not going anywhere. but we just have to balance, you know. how we're using it and how it's making us feel every day. yeah But anyways, um we'll we'll come back to the career conversation and more about, you know, in depth about working in the creative field as well.
00:21:08
Speaker
But I want to throw it back to like our USC days really quick. um So since I am connecting with a USC classmate, you're like the first person classmate like person from USC that I'm connecting with on this show on this season like are there any like memories from your USC days or any like messy stories that you want to bring up that you want to that you want to share that you feel comfortable sharing and maybe like how you overcame them as well Hi there, how are you feeling?
00:21:39
Speaker
It's me, Victoria, host of the podcast. And when I first started podcasting, I was super scared and nervous about the way I sounded, the way I looked, the way people would perceive me. But using Zencastr has been a really helpful way for me to become more confident and express myself as a creator. So with Zencastr, you can record up to 4K quality in video, regardless of your audio and Man, um...
00:22:10
Speaker
in the sounds section go to zipcastr dot com slash pricing and use my code victoria fifteen and you'll get thirty percent off your first month of any zencastr paid plan i want you to have the same easy experiences that i do my podcasting and content time to share your story can film me
00:22:29
Speaker
man oh
00:22:33
Speaker
So, yeah, there was just a lot going on in last year.
Family, Grad School, and Challenges
00:22:39
Speaker
It's interesting because, okay, so my mom, you know this, but she went through a hard time ah with her health.
00:22:47
Speaker
And that meant that i had to step it up and cover for her at her job. And, uh, pretty much she's been the breadwinner of the household.
00:22:59
Speaker
Um, she's a single mom. She's always been a single mom. And so, um, and have a little brother. he is 18 now, but he was 17 at a time. Um, and, ah while she was in the hospital, I had to fly out there and just support and help. But that also meant taking on some responsibility that, um,
00:23:24
Speaker
was not helpful taking on well-being in grad school. And yeah, it's, you and so it just felt like, it felt missing that way. Although I tried to keep it, like I was just like, okay, like let's just like focus.
00:23:41
Speaker
And, and I was thinking at a time that design class with Professor Child, um and it was so important for me to do well in that class. And, obviously,
00:23:58
Speaker
Yeah, I think it was the second. Oh, yeah, remember. that's really cool. Yeah, that's really, really cool. and um And yeah, so there was just like a lot of things that I cared about that mattered that where I tried to, um like I really tried to stay calm and and and stay organized and and just keep it going. But at the same time, like, oh my God, I would be crying.
00:24:27
Speaker
almost every day i would have to, i I was not taking care of myself at all. It was really hard. It was either taking care of myself or going to see my mom at the hospital or, um you know, getting work done on time for school and all that stuff. And at the time, I did not have a job either. i had just left my previous job.
00:24:49
Speaker
um And I ah was not in a position where I wanted to, and that moment I did just couldn't even think about applying. um and i would And wanted to transition into product design for marketing too. And so it was just like that in itself is huge. It's like a huge load.
00:25:11
Speaker
And so... The thing that came to mind was like, well, I'm in this like program where startups are a thing, and I've always been into that. So I going to think of a problem to solve for, and i went really hard onto wanting to develop a ah tool for personal finance.
00:25:30
Speaker
um And I brought my friend in into that. And so because she was already ah she was in product design for LinkedIn. And I respected her and her work. And I really wanted to work with her.
00:25:42
Speaker
And so i I reached out and but it just still felt like. I had all of these things. I just kept on putting more stuff and more stuff on top of my plate. It's those little tasks that add up in grad school. Grad school really isn't difficult. It's not hard. It's just the little tasks that add up and add up. And like when you don't track them, you lose track of them. They start to stack up and they feel overwhelming.
00:26:07
Speaker
And then that's when it feels like, oh my gosh, like this is really hard. That's how it felt for me. no yeah yeah it also felt for me too and and even in and it feels and it's interesting because it's sneaky it feels like oh I got something going on for myself or oh something or ah producing something productive and stuff like that but at the end of the I realized like how am I measuring like happiness and how I'm measuring success.
00:26:39
Speaker
Am I measuring it by how much I get accomplish i get to accomplish in one day, in a week, in a year? or can I start measuring it by how happy I feel the end of the day and how much I'm enjoying my time with the people that I love?
00:26:54
Speaker
And I think that I've always been very productivity driven, very very much looking up to you know what we see on LinkedIn and And even like seeing that, it it makes me feel like I don't have it together. Like I need to get my shit together. Oh my gosh. Yeah. that that That ties into like, but I wanted to ask you about imposter syndrome and how you feel about that, especially in like the creative career.
Imposter Syndrome in Creative Careers
00:27:22
Speaker
being Being a writer. um And also product design. That's creative as well. i would and would say it's creative too. like um how How have you navigated imposter syndrome?
00:27:34
Speaker
Yeah. it's um It's interesting because I've had two experiences with it when I was in marketing. I felt like I wanted to do well.
00:27:47
Speaker
ah But I didn't feel good enough because i i I've always felt like I was doing the wrong thing. um so i and and it So it and pushed me into now pursuing product design and stuff like that and not being in product design, feeling like, okay, I'm doing the thing that I want to do and I'm writing. I'm doing the thing that makes me feel joy, that makes me feel happy.
00:28:13
Speaker
And now it's shifted into, but who am I? Like, who am i to say that... um You know, we should be looking at AI not from a tool perspective, but more from like I don't even know what perspective. I don't even understand, you know, like I have all these ideas and I want to write about it.
00:28:32
Speaker
And i also, um and then at work, I feel very confident in my ability to solve for a problem, but collaborating with engineers and developers and getting everyone aligned and stuff like that there's this gap where I feel like and they probably don't even think this but in meetings I'm like oh your guys are talking about this very technical stuff and I'm and I'm and I understand only that like very high level stuff because that's just how it has to how I have to understand it because I can get very granular with you and at the very beginning I felt like
00:29:16
Speaker
I was not smart enough to be in that room. We're like, yeah. And just like a lot of doubt and also feeling scared of what others would think about me. What would other people think about even just posting on LinkedIn?
00:29:35
Speaker
ah I've been wanting to post, but i also question myself, why am I posting? Am I posting because I'm feeding an attention thing that I that i really want? Do I want to feel? Am I posting because I feel like I want to be present online and I want to pay attention to me?
00:29:56
Speaker
huh Or am I posting because I really have something to say and and I really want to be able to discern between those two, but it's still that syndrome that still it manifests different aspects and and stuff so that's so valid like I feel you because like I feel the same way about posting on LinkedIn it it feels like should I be posting to like brag about where I'm at? Because a lot, that's what, that's what it's used for.
00:30:26
Speaker
Like people are bragging about where they at at, where they're at in life as they should, you know, but when I'm posting, I'm like, there's an expectation of like, what is she doing now? Is she doing better than she was doing better before? She's not doing anything than that than what she was doing before.
00:30:41
Speaker
Same goes with Instagram. And I feel most comfortable on Instagram right now, like I feel like I can be my most authentic self. Like I don't need to put up a front or anything.
00:30:54
Speaker
And I saw your most recent post on Instagram, you were at the beach reading. And I was just thinking like, how is Diana doing? Like, how is she doing? And like, that's why I reached out to you and sent you a message. And i was like, hey, let's catch up. Like, let's, yeah you know, let's catch up since graduation. How have you been? Because time flies. It's been May, June, July. ah It's been three months.
00:31:16
Speaker
Yeah. and think it's good that we're catching up three months after not like three years after yeah yeah so so it's glad to hear from you now because it's kind of always later in life or like at the thirty year reunion ten year class reunion ah you find out so much about people and and you're like why didn't i just why didn't i know that soon yeah So, yeah, I feel like now is a good time to yeah to catch up, you know, re-spark those conversations.
00:31:47
Speaker
um Yeah. Yeah, I have a lot of messy stories from USC. I don't know if I'll dig into them. i have to categorize. want to.
00:31:57
Speaker
I have to categorize all the messy. um I will say that being at IYA and, like, going to the building, like the physical building on campus, like really calmed me down from a lot of like messy moments in my mind.
00:32:12
Speaker
Like I had a remote job that I was working working for and i was kind of having some stressful conversations with one of my coworkers while I was trying to focus on being a student and, um,
00:32:28
Speaker
those two things kind of collided. And i was literally at IYA and I went to, I was in the building and I was like, had this heated conversation and confusing and I knew I messed up and I was like, dang, now I'm going to be in trouble with my bosses.
00:32:44
Speaker
And um went to the balcony and just sat out there, put my glasses on. i was like, tearing up. i was like, oh my God, oh my God. But like looking back, it was like, I always realized the bigger picture. I'm like, this isn't going to like last forever forever.
00:32:57
Speaker
I'm going to graduate. going to move on to something different.
Reflections on LA and Homesickness
00:33:01
Speaker
so So, yeah. on I'm grateful. Grateful for for the experience. But I'm also glad to be on the other side.
00:33:10
Speaker
You know? So, yeah. A lot of messy moments. Which maybe I'll dive into, you know, down the line. But... yeah Yeah. I'm glad that it bought us together.
00:33:22
Speaker
Being at the same school. So... Yeah. And... And it's always, I feel like because we had a hybrid program. Yeah. Even being like close, being in San Diego and being like two hours away, I still felt like there were moments where I still wanted to be there and like show up for...
00:33:42
Speaker
like events or gatherings and stuff like that. That's so true. i really didn't see you a lot like during this first like the five months, January to like May of this year.
00:33:54
Speaker
I didn't like see you on campus like because that's when I was... doing on campus classes before it was just completely online. And I really didn't see you. And but I met I met a lot of new people there. I was still very homesick. The first three months of me living in l LA, I was homesick, like I was disillusioned. I didn't believe I was really there. had one foot in the door here in Texas, one foot in the door in California, didn't really come together until probably the January of like this year and like the fires happened and everything. And like, Oh, snap, like I'm here.
00:34:28
Speaker
i'm I am here. i'm going to make it work. I'm figure it out. um Yeah. And I still want to go back. I still miss it. You have to. We need to link up. You're in San Diego. So I would love yeah to visit San Diego.
00:34:44
Speaker
You have to come down here. It's beautiful. It's fun. It's chill. like does I think of San Diego as the chill LA. There's a lot going on. But it's still, it's chill. there's yeah You're going to stuck in traffic. You can get, even if there's traffic, you can get from one place to the other. So that's the other thing. I didn't have a car.
00:35:05
Speaker
so I was walking everywhere. so I'm not complaining because it gave me like a great set of legs and great cardio. But I was walking everywhere. I didn't have a car. So I was really depending on, if I wanted to go out somewhere like off campus, I would depend on like my friends and like our cohort.
00:35:21
Speaker
And be like, hey, like, do you want to go out? Do you want to go out today? Like, we had a meetup, a little cohort meetup around Thanksgiving. And I went to one of our classmates' house for Thanksgiving. And, you know, hung out with them. But when I go back, I would love to have my own car. Because I feel like you need a car in LA, yeah in SoCal, in general.
00:35:45
Speaker
Yeah. You definitely need a car in California. Yeah. Hmm.
Managing Low Productivity Days
00:35:51
Speaker
how do you push through days when you don't feel like
00:36:03
Speaker
working fill in the blank when you don't feel like doing anything like how how do you push through it's so hard like you know i literally had that date yesterday like yesterday i was just Tell me about it. was just like, oh my God, I'm not being and again i'm not being productive at all.
00:36:20
Speaker
I didn't do much for work. Or not as much as I wanted to do or should have done. And I just felt like this like energy drop that
00:36:32
Speaker
I hadn't felt in a while. Like the sun wasn't, this is so San Diego, but like the sun wasn't out yet. Like we had clouds all day and I was like so sad. No, that's a big thing. If you're not from California, like we love the sun out there. If if the sun isn't shining, something's wrong. Something is wrong.
00:36:51
Speaker
Yeah. ah Here in Texas, it would be like, we we have like an occasional thunderstorm. But anyway. i love thunderstorms. That's the only thing. I do love thunderstorms. Because there's something happening in sky.
00:37:03
Speaker
Yeah. It's not just gray. But I digress. I digress. yeah sorry. And I honestly just, I was like, you know what? I'm just going to let today be today. And if I, there's not, I'm going to try. I'll go and sit on my desk.
00:37:21
Speaker
And I'll start, like, just start doing something. I did, you know, i got some stuff done. But I just couldn't shake off that feeling. And so I just, like, at some point I was like, I'm just going to go lay down and not think.
00:37:36
Speaker
And, like, try to not think. and And, of course, I end up on TikTok. And then, like, two hours pass by. I'm like, how does that even happen? And so, yeah. It definitely, I think it's just, like, the answer, short answer to that. It's just surrendering.
00:37:51
Speaker
to that it you know it's and I think it's because I'm in a space again like I have that space to just let myself be and that's part of that sometimes um and I also feel like like i I'm allowed and and I'll be okay like I don't feel like I have to now I have to catch up with stuff when before I used to feel like those days came a lot more often.
00:38:21
Speaker
and I would feel like, now have like work over the weekend. And then then my weekends and are gone. And I don't have any um time, like free time to just enjoy life.
00:38:33
Speaker
And i think it's because I'm just working now and I do have my little I'm doing, joined a writing group where we do, where we critique our work and stuff.
00:38:46
Speaker
um Yeah. And i was like, I need something. i get Because school left a void to some degree. And Right? they he School was the whole reason why I was in l LA in the first place.
00:39:01
Speaker
If it wasn't for USC, I wouldn't have been to l LA, wouldn't have had an avenue there or anything. And LA still is my dream city. so i'm So I'm so grateful to USC for giving me that avenue. Because if not, it would have been hard.
00:39:17
Speaker
And I think going back to your your point about you know working and taking ah taking breaks and just surrendering. I saw something that I screenshotted on Instagram. It was a comment that someone made about someone said me every morning on the verge of crashing, crashing the F out before going to my job.
00:39:37
Speaker
And I took a photo of the screenshot of the someone's comment. but And they said, the person is should i name their, their account? Third account is ye Yeen Like Zay.
00:39:51
Speaker
He said, don't quit your job yet because once you go flat broke, life is going to hit you even harder, especially if you don't have nobody that can help you out. I hate my job, but I will never be jobless again if it's up to me.
00:40:04
Speaker
Keep hustling and use the money to fund your next dream or reach your next milestone. I'm like... That is so good. Like this week was rough. I only went out once.
00:40:16
Speaker
I worked 20 hours from like Monday to my first week, Monday to like yesterday, which I'm so proud of myself for. And I think what got me over that, that ah bread, that hill when I was at 14 hours and that next morning, it was like 5 a.m. m I'm like,
00:40:33
Speaker
i can I think I could hit 20. And it was me thinking about that whole time while I was like tracking my time was what can I do once i you know make the money I need to make? I'm picturing myself booking my my flight somewhere, i dream vacation at Disney World. like I'm picturing my dreams and that's getting me through the work, even though it's hard.
00:40:59
Speaker
yeah. I encourage, you know, who's whoever is listening to this to picture, that envision yourself doing what you want to do, having what you want to have. If you want that dream pet or you want to move somewhere, like keep that in mind while you're working and ah it will get you through.
00:41:17
Speaker
Especially if you're working a job that you don't like, just think of like, that's that's the other side of it. Because yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But right after this, I'm going rest.
00:41:30
Speaker
I really am. um It's been a busy week and I think I'm carrying it well, but it's been really busy. And um I only ate like a little sandwich this morning, the bagel that my sister bought home.
00:41:44
Speaker
And I'm like, I need to take better care of myself. So yeah, I'm probably going to eat and then rest. But um thank you so much for I appreciate you being here and embracing the messy journey
Exploring Societal Transitions through Conversations
00:41:56
Speaker
with me. And thank you for joining me. If there's anything else you want to add or promo, feel free to do it.
00:42:02
Speaker
Thank you. um No promo. I can't think of anything right now.
00:42:10
Speaker
Oh yeah. I, yeah, I, I, not the one I wrote a couple of years.
00:42:22
Speaker
Oh yeah. I am ah right now reading this book called The Art of Gathering, the one posted about. I think it's such an important time to, like, I just have this um feeling of wanting to gather. I have an idea of wanting to start hosting dinner parties, but they're highly curated to just engage in conversation and facilitate conversation.
00:42:52
Speaker
it really does feel like the time that we're going through right now is ah unprecedented. ah We're all experiencing ah transition or transformation at a very large, like everyone, large scale.
00:43:09
Speaker
um And I really think that in next 10 years life will look very different. Like, um, our everyday will look very different. And I, I'm just curious to know what people think and how people are perceiving that and, um, and what people, um dream of, like, because it's so easy to fall into the trap of dystopian.
00:43:35
Speaker
Uh, but I, I'm really curious about what people think about, um, how good it can get. ah And yeah, and so wanting to, I'm still learning to gather, reading this book, and learning to curate, ah you know, the invite, ah the guest list, um come up with a purpose for bird gathering and stuff like that. And there's a lot more that I'm learning about.
00:44:03
Speaker
I love that book, highly recommend And um I invite others to got gather and talk. I feel like that's where change starts too, so. Beautiful.
00:44:15
Speaker
Beautiful. I'm going to check that book out. So send me, send me that again, please. ah house is it to Anyways, hope you enjoy your day and your weekend. and thank you for joining me. Thank you for listening. Thank you.
00:44:26
Speaker
Thanks for having me. Bye.
00:44:34
Speaker
Honestly, when I lost my mom in 97, that was something I promised her is that, you know, I said, I'm going to make
Motivation from Personal Promises
00:44:40
Speaker
something with my life. I promise you that. And, uh, I didn't know exactly what that was. i just knew what it wasn't, you know, what path what path I didn't.