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Welcome to my messy season
12 Plays7 months ago
No more playing it cool...podcasting is hard work! But I LOVE WHAT I DO! Welcome [or welcome back] to SEASON 1: #MESSY I share about what I've been doing, my goals, and how I'm feeling. Thanks for watching! So much to explore as I chat with high achievers like artists, athletes and authors and fellow podcasters.
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Victoria's IG: 📷 / astoldbyvictoria_ FYFZPOD IG: 📷 / fyfzpod_
Community Voices: https://form.jotform.com/252015052149144
https://lintr.ee/fyfzpod_
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Feel Your Feelings' Podcast
00:00:06
Speaker
Hey there, I'm Victoria Maconjewola and you're listening to Feel Your Feelings, the podcast where high achievers get real about mental wellness. You feel me? Welcome to season one and honey, we're about to get messy.
00:00:29
Speaker
Hello there. um'm Victoria. i am really happy that you're here Thank you for tuning in This is my third time recording this episode. I am a perfectionist and I felt like my lighting could be better.
00:00:42
Speaker
So I put my light in front of me instead of... right next to me on the side. And it's just like little things like that. I know this season is called messy, but want it to look visually appealing. Like this season is a challenge for me as as a perfectionist. And if you're a perfectionist, you'll understand it too.
Embracing Messiness in Creativity
00:01:02
Speaker
And it's something that I'm i'm continuing to work through. And in this season, you're really going to see Some of that frustration, like one episode, I forgot to record the audio.
00:01:13
Speaker
ah know the video, sorry. And just have audio only with my host. But I told myself this is part of the process. And this is why the season is called what it's what it's called.
00:01:26
Speaker
i don't um don't know what season you're in or what you would call it. You know, let me know in the comments below. But mine is messy and I'm embracing it. I'm embracing all of it. All of it. So let me just start by talking about how I am feeling. And I have my my question, my you know my guide to keep me focused right next to me.
00:01:51
Speaker
So I ask all of my guests on my show how they're feeling. For me, and this moment... I'm feeling good. I'm feeling determined.
00:02:02
Speaker
I'm feeling optimistic. I think there is a lot for me to look forward to in this new season.
Academic Achievements and Inspirations
00:02:09
Speaker
I recently graduated from USC with my masters.
00:02:14
Speaker
This is masters number two. in integrated design business and technology. And I was the grad student speaker.
00:02:26
Speaker
cool. Got to meet my co-founders, Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre and shake their hands at graduation on stage. And everything was was awesome. That day, I'll never forget that day.
00:02:40
Speaker
I'll never forget standing up on that stage with the lights in front of me. I couldn't really see out that much, but the lights were hot. I do remember the lights being so warm and my cheeks being like so hot and just being sweaty.
00:02:53
Speaker
But I was just slacking myself out to... to make it a great moment and to not talk too long and to be myself and to just not be scared, to just stand stand on business, right?
00:03:10
Speaker
Standing on business, like I put the work in and this is this is the level, the final round, you know? And so that I was just really locked in. was just, you know, locked in that day, that week, everything leading up to that moment was just all synchronicities. And I just felt so blessed.
00:03:27
Speaker
And um yeah, I will never forget that day. But the question, the original question was ah how I'm feeling. And honestly forgot what I said, but I'm just feeling really grateful.
00:03:39
Speaker
I'm feeling really, really grateful and optimistic about what's to come, you know? I also just turned 28, recently had a birthday, July baby, Leo, Leo queen.
Reflections on Turning 28
00:03:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:03:54
Speaker
And it's my golden year, golden birthday. And fun fact, I've, I've been looking forward to 28 since I, sick since I was a kid, since I was like eight, I just knew like 28, 28,
00:04:08
Speaker
I'm that girl. I'm her. And now I'm here. So really blessed to be this age. And you know, what there's some people I can hear y'all now, but you're almost 30. Ain't scared of being 30 yet.
00:04:22
Speaker
I'm enjoying where I'm at now. Don't, don't lecture me on 30. Cause 30 is not here. I don't know her. I've never met her. did Mariah say? I just, I really don't know her.
00:04:34
Speaker
Sorry. So yeah, until then, i'm happy where I'm at. I'm content and I'm looking forward to what this season of life has in store for me.
00:04:46
Speaker
i am a Gen Z-er. Gen z was born between 97 and 2012. and twenty twelve So that's, that's really the age range that, that this show was really targeted at in the beginning.
Podcast's Focus on High Achievers
00:05:01
Speaker
And Yeah, this this theme, this messy theme comes from me graduating and wanting to kind of remodel the show and my platform and who I want to talk to.
00:05:15
Speaker
And I realized I want to talk to high achievers because that's what I've been my whole life is a high achiever. I have i have surpassed many of my expectations, you know, not just on my own, but with God.
00:05:28
Speaker
And I'm so grateful. And in high school, I wanted it to be these three A's, an author, an actress, or an athlete.
00:05:41
Speaker
Tennis was my first love when I was like seven, eight, from a youngin, from a youngin. I looked up to Venus and Serena Williams, still do.
00:05:56
Speaker
Water break. Also hope you have your water because this we're going to get talkative. I'm talking it right now.
00:06:06
Speaker
And. I still carry that idea around. I'm like, well why not talk to, talk to those people? Cause that's, that's what I wanted to do, you know? And to an extent, kind of still what I wanted to do, even though I'm not currently in active, actively playing sports. I stopped playing in like high school. We moved around a lot in high school anyway. So there was really no opportunity for me to continue playing after we moved. So I really just locked in on school and being the best student that I could be.
00:06:35
Speaker
But i love I loved being an athlete. I loved how disciplined that I have to be with my mind, my heart, my body, you know, in my craft and really have a Mamba mentality like Kobe Bryant used to say, right? that That's so real.
00:06:49
Speaker
Cause the game starts with you and tennis is such a mental sport as it is. And for me, it was the cardio, the running constantly during my, I did a summer camp in in Houston, Texas at the Zena Garrison Tennis Academy.
00:07:05
Speaker
I don't know if they're still there, but it was free. And I'm just so grateful. I had the opportunity to like work on my skills, even though my skillset matched with like the the little kids, like under 10. So I was out there playing with them they were beating me.
00:07:18
Speaker
And we were running like a mile and a mile back.
Olympic Aspirations
00:07:21
Speaker
And I got tired and I told my parents, wanna do this anymore. and they, when I left, they're like, bye, don't let the door hit you on the way out.
00:07:30
Speaker
So I left.
00:07:34
Speaker
And ah yeah, I still I still love I still love sports. And one of my biggest goals is to work for the Olympics and help bring L.A. 28 to L.A.
00:07:49
Speaker
and um make it amazing and have a great time. So if you know someone who's in that space, send them my way. Tell them Victoria's interested and she's willing to to help out in any way, shape, form.
00:08:04
Speaker
So, ah yeah, if I'm looking at their website every day. But in the meantime, i have been looking for work. I'm blessed that I was recently able to find a remote job in the the AI field.
00:08:19
Speaker
And that's what I studied. That's what I'm disciplined in. So I'm grateful for that. And yeah, this messy, it just stems from me coming back home from great life.
00:08:31
Speaker
season as a student, now being back home looking for work, you know, sleeping in late, you know, going to the library, being on my grind, being isolated from, you know, friends and social life and love life, if if any of that existed.
00:08:47
Speaker
know, go back my essence, you know, go back to
00:08:55
Speaker
my essence which is just being me, being a daughter, being a sister, being a cousin, a niece, granddaughter, you know? So it's just it's it's messy when your vision of your life doesn't always line up with where you're currently at.
00:09:14
Speaker
So this this season, what can we expect, right? You can expect great conversations, better quality video, video um And just elevated conversations. I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I'm reaching out to people that I'm like actually nervous to talk to.
00:09:33
Speaker
But I feel like when you're nervous about talking to someone or applying for something, I think it's really a sign that you should do it because there's something really great on the other side of it. And that it's not about you. Like it's not about me.
00:09:46
Speaker
It's really about who I'm talking to and how I can, how i can,
00:09:52
Speaker
make them better or make the story even grander. You know, i know we've seen lots of interviews with celebrities and I watch them all the time. I'm really into interviews and listening to that, but having them on my show, I want people to get a different idea of like who that person is and what they're really like behind the scenes. What's the messy side?
00:10:20
Speaker
of their life. And this this season is about messy. The next season may be something completely different, but that's what this current season is focused on. And so far I've chatted with great people, artists, fellow podcasters, um athletes that I have lined up and that I'm looking at talking to for this for the series.
00:10:40
Speaker
Hi there, how are you feeling?
Partnership with Zencastr
00:10:42
Speaker
It's me, Victoria, host of the podcast. And when I first started podcasting, I was super scared and nervous about the way I sounded, the way I looked, the way people would perceive me.
00:10:52
Speaker
But using Zencastr has been a really helpful way for me to become more confident and express myself as a creator. So with Zencastr, you can record up to 4K quality in video, regardless of your audio and wi-fi quality you can save files in the cloud recording and you can adjust your audio and noise levels in the sound section go to zencaster.com pricing and use my code victoria15 and you'll get 30 off your first month of any zencaster paid plan i want you to have the same easy experiences that i do for my podcasting and content needs it's time to share your story you feel me
00:11:31
Speaker
You can also expect more of me, like more episodes of me talking to to you guys and getting out of my comfort zone and kind of wearing my heart on my sleeve because, you know, i don't i don't know how others...
00:11:44
Speaker
would perceive me, if you think I'm mysterious or whatnot, I'm really not trying to be. Like, I really don't have a lot that I can hide or that, you know, is nothing that I can't talk about per se.
00:11:59
Speaker
So I want, this show is really about openness and vulnerability and feeling your feelings. And as the creator, I feel a responsibility to to be what I'm trying to to see it to achieve.
00:12:13
Speaker
my own messy moments that shaped how I think about success.
Near Experience with White House Forum
00:12:17
Speaker
So I was almost invited to the White House, Biden's White House, clarification, President Biden's White House, not the current administration.
00:12:27
Speaker
And they hosted a ah the first ever Mental Health Youth Action Forum. You can type it in on Google. You can search my name. Press release will probably come up if it's still there. And um at the time, i was was working for ViacomCBS or had just stopped working with them after a layoff.
00:12:46
Speaker
And they sent me an email so that they wanted me to attend, you know, be one of the out of 30 youth advocates chosen in like the United States.
00:12:58
Speaker
I was the only one from Texas and i didn't get to go. didn't get to participate, not because I said anything or did anything bad, but because my work history with ViacomCBS coincided with their sponsorship.
00:13:14
Speaker
of the event and that in the in the fine print somewhere, that's you know that's a disqualification. So yeah, I got disqualified on technical terms because I did have work history with the company.
00:13:28
Speaker
Great company, great people, not saying anything bad, didn't sign any NDAs. So I am free to talk about it. But at the time I was crushed. I was like, I wanted to go to the lighthouse. I wanted to to talk about my show and everything. But um' I'm kind of glad that I didn't.
00:13:46
Speaker
Only because, you know, and that I watched the other participants go and everyone had to speak so eloquently and know deeply and deeply. on their show and on their platform, I was like, could I handle sitting next to Selena Gomez and just talking for like 10 minutes straight about my show? Probably not. Could have passed out, could it threw up, got like a pitch perfect moment, could have fainted, could have, you know, just not been myself.
00:14:15
Speaker
So, you know, rejection is redirection. So things happened for a reason, even though at the time i was like,
00:14:24
Speaker
I don't like y'all. I'm mad at y'all, you know? So it is what it is, but I do hope that there are opportunities in the future to work with Paramount and MTV and any networks that feel like the show might be ah great opportunity to share, you know, with a ah mass amount of people or at that level again. So I'm grateful for being chosen, but I know that at the end of the day, it doesn't define what I'm doing or who I am.
00:14:50
Speaker
I can still keep going. i can still keep sharing stories from the comfort of my my humble abode, right? and that people will still want to listen and still want to talk to me.
00:15:02
Speaker
That opportunity, even it gave me the opportunity to to be in ah my local magazine, ah Plano Magazine. Someone reached out to me, even though I didn't get to participate. I told her, I'm like, um don't even know if you want to talk to me because i didn't go. She's like,
00:15:16
Speaker
who cares still want to talk to you she gave me like a whole spread in a magazine two pages two pages and which i still have and i'm so grateful for shout out to plano magazine and what else oh okay so community stories i want i want to hear your community these stories so i created a jot form which i will link somewhere in my description for you to share your voice share your own messy moments behind your pursuit of excellence and And have an opportunity for it to be heard on the show.
00:15:49
Speaker
It can be anonymous or with your name. but I would love to hear from you. And I think that would be a great opportunity to feel your feelings alongside with me because it's not just about me.
00:16:01
Speaker
It's not just about me. It's about... creating conversations and bridging gaps and expressing myself and having someone else, you know, feel comfortable expressing themselves as well.
Building a Vulnerable Community
00:16:14
Speaker
So if you feel like that's you, fill out that form and yeah. That's really it in a nutshell. I'm super grateful for this platform.
00:16:25
Speaker
Thank you for listening wherever you are. i hope you're, know, you're comfortable. and um I hope that you find this podcast in good spirits.
00:16:39
Speaker
And despite whatever messy season, if you can relate in your life that you're in right now, just know that I'm in it too. And we can We can get through it together.
00:16:52
Speaker
This too shall pass. And all of the greats in life that you can think of have had their messy seasons. They were called during their messy seasons.
00:17:03
Speaker
Moses, right? From the Bible, had a stutter. And he was called to speak to a Pharaoh.
00:17:12
Speaker
Right. You know, speech impediment. And he was called to speak to to a pharaoh, you know, about about his cause. And I think we all can relate to in that to relate to that in some sense of feeling, you know, like, what can I do? What can I do? I feel like I can't really do. You can.
00:17:33
Speaker
You can. I'm nervous right now. I don't know who's watching. don't know who's going to cancel me or get offended at whatever, anything that comes out of my mouth in the future. Right?
00:17:44
Speaker
I don't know how I'm going to feel in like 10 years looking back if I liked this period of life or, you know, but here I am. I'm showing up. And i think that's that's really all we can do.
00:17:58
Speaker
In this season, we owe it. I owe it to myself to show up despite the messy season that I'm in right now. Because I'm not alone and it could be worse. It actually could be worse than what it is.
00:18:11
Speaker
Anyways, I'm so grateful for you for listening. And... Thank you. And continue to stay messy and send me your messages and leave a comment and share who you would love to see on this podcast. And I will do my very best to reach out on your behalf and make it a great make it a great season.
00:18:30
Speaker
So thank you for listening. See ya. Stay messy.
00:18:38
Speaker
Even for someone in the stature of Michael Jackson, to really just show up and practice and be willing to be messy. Because you cannot be great if you're not willing to be messy and if you're not willing to be bad and to fail. like it's not Those are things that are foundational for success, not the opposite of it.