Transcript
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: Welcome to the Holistic Way podcast.
Speaker: I'm your host Nikki aka Dominique, founder of the Holistic Body Club, Holistic Body Coach and Yoga Teacher.
Speaker: I hope you'll join me weekly as we discuss a holistic approach, fresh perspective and non-negotiable self-compassion.
Speaker: Understanding is empowering and self-kindness is the new sexy.
Speaker: It is my mission to introduce to you new ways to work with your mind, body and emotions rather than against them to create long-term results with more ease and fun.
Speaker: Hello my soul friend, I welcome you to this episode of the Holistic Way podcast.
Speaker: I am very excited to share this one, I know I say this about every episode, but this one I feel is...
Speaker: very much channeled by my guides and even as I say this, it was starting somewhere and as I started tuning into this episode and living what I had just received from my guides, I realised that it ended up somewhere I did not expect.
Speaker: So let me tell you what I'm going to speak about in this episode.
Speaker: And it's all about the what if questions that our monkey brain comes up with all the time.
Speaker: It's going to give you a way to shift that question.
Speaker: So looking at it from a different angle.
Speaker: But in the same episode, towards the end, I'm gonna give you an antidote, a release or a healing for this question that I did not expect myself.
Speaker: So I myself have a whole lot of what-if questions that are happening in my life right now in different areas.
Speaker: And I was doing this work and it was just mind-blowing when I saw where my spirit guides have led me to.
Speaker: So let's speak about those what-if questions.
Speaker: The mind has...
Speaker: like a very annoying way to bring up all the time every day for everything we do.
Speaker: What if he leaves me?
Speaker: What if no one ever will love me?
Speaker: What if I put on weight?
Speaker: What if I never lose weight?
Speaker: What if I don't know how to pay my bills?
Speaker: What if no one cares about my business, about my offer?
Speaker: What if
Speaker: I fail?
Speaker: What if?
Speaker: What if?
Speaker: What if?
Speaker: What if?
Speaker: What if?
Speaker: You know the question.
Speaker: You know that mind in your head.
Speaker: When you do something or you want to do something and your mind's like, yeah, but what if?
Speaker: Like, what if no one sees it?
Speaker: What if no one buys it?
Speaker: What if no one cares?
Speaker: What if no one loves you?
Speaker: What if you're not good enough?
Speaker: What if it's not good enough?
Speaker: and it just keeps going on and on and on all day long.
Speaker: Maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about and I imagine you do.
Speaker: I know you're very familiar with these questions.
Speaker: Maybe you've never thought of it consciously, but I know that as I'm expressing these words, these what if questions that are rooted in a place of fear, I know your mind is going like, ah, I know exactly what she is speaking about.
Speaker: And I just invite you maybe to grab a piece of paper if you're somewhere where you do have a journal and just start writing out all these questions that you are so familiar with.
Speaker: What if I fail?
Speaker: What if I embarrass myself?
Speaker: What if people laugh at me?
Speaker: What if people think I'm stupid?
Speaker: What if I never lose this weight?
Speaker: What if I put on weight?
Speaker: What if I never find a solution to my health concern?
Speaker: What if I never find my dream partner?
Speaker: What if I don't come up with the money to pay the bills?
Speaker: What if I lose all my money?
Speaker: And all of these questions...
Speaker: And I just invite you to grab a paper or you can even grab your phone and open the notes app and just at the top of your head, just write down what's coming up for you.
Speaker: What are those what if questions that you always ask yourself that, you know, your monkey brain and I'm calling it that because it's the
Speaker: It's the part of your brain that is always scared and that always has something to say, that always has a thought, an opinion about what you're doing, especially when you're doing something that is out of the ordinary.
Speaker: But even when not, I know that your mind, even when you do random things that you do every day,
Speaker: your mind is probably coming up with some kind of what-if-I-fail situation, kind of the worst-case scenario to your subconscious mind.
Speaker: And there's nothing wrong with the fact that your brain does that.
Speaker: That's completely normal.
Speaker: That's a mechanism from your brain to protect you.
Speaker: Where the struggles or the challenge comes from is when that message is just running, taking and having a life of its own without you being aware of it.
Speaker: Because the thoughts, they're just thoughts, they're not the truth.
Speaker: But the problem is, or it's not a problem, I don't like to call it a problem, but the situation or what is happening is that the thoughts usually create...
Speaker: a feeling.
Speaker: So the what if questions create this kind of worst case scenario.
Speaker: Your nervous system is reacting to this and you're starting to feel scared and without even being aware it suddenly rules your life and
Speaker: You feel scared to go after your dreams.
Speaker: You are not taking aligned action to move towards your holistic body and your radiant health.
Speaker: You are not putting yourself out there when you want to find a partner.
Speaker: And this is where we need to break the cycle.
Speaker: And for a lot of us,
Speaker: This kind of what if and worst case scenario thought process and pattern is quite natural and quite intuitive and is becoming like a routine, like something you do without even thinking consciously about it.
Speaker: It just happens because it is a habit.
Speaker: It's something your brain has done over and over and over again, maybe even for years.
Speaker: and even myself, I catch myself having these what if worst case scenarios even now after I've done I don't know how many years of personal growth and self improvement work like I still sometimes have these patterns and especially now that I want to go big in my business
Speaker: These questions come up a lot and what I noticed, I think that was spirits that guided me to have that realization is the more important question to ask yourself is what if I succeed?
Speaker: And not only because it's reframing it in a positive way, but it's going to show you exactly where your subconscious mind is working against your deepest desires.
Speaker: And I maybe need to have a little loop here to really explain and bring to you clearly
Speaker: how your body and mind function.
Speaker: So on a conscious level, you might want to find the love of your life.
Speaker: You might want to build a business that you love and that brings in 10, 20, 30k a month.
Speaker: Consciously, you might want to lose weight, have your dream body become stronger, heal your chronic symptoms.
Speaker: but to your subconscious mind something else might be happening.
Speaker: So you might want to achieve your goals but your subconscious mind might be threatened and scared to achieve those goals and that's very individual and I'm not going to go into details but let's take the example of losing weight.
Speaker: Consciously, maybe wanting to lose weight because you know that extra weight is not aligned anymore and it's not serving your highest good.
Speaker: But to your subconscious mind, that excess weight might be the thing keeping you safe.
Speaker: Safe from not enough food, from a famine, from unwanted looks, from being rejected by your family.
Speaker: Maybe it's a sense of belonging.
Speaker: So your conscious mind and your subconscious mind might have very different desires and they might be working against each other.
Speaker: So when you ask yourself the what if I succeed question and you notice what is happening,
Speaker: in your body, what you feel physically, but what is happening in your mind when you ask yourself the what if I succeed question is going to be very interesting and it's going to be so much more insightful and valuable.
Speaker: So let me give you a few examples.
Speaker: Switching the question to
Speaker: What if I do lose the weight?
Speaker: What if I do have my dream body with ease?
Speaker: What if I do have a business that makes 10, 20, 30k with ease every single month without me even having to work hard?
Speaker: What if I do find the love of my life?
Speaker: What if I do...
Speaker: have a successful business?
Speaker: What if I have millions of views on my content?
Speaker: What if I am suddenly famous?
Speaker: What if I do live my dream life?
Speaker: Just notice as I speak, as you listen,
Speaker: what your mind came up with, what your body felt.
Speaker: And I invite you to take all of your what if I fail questions, transform them into what if I succeed questions.
Speaker: And notice one by one what is happening inside of you.
Speaker: What is your body's reaction?
Speaker: And I know that your mind is going to have something to say and your body is going to be like, oh, but wait a minute.
Speaker: If I do become successful with a business that I absolutely love working a few hours a day and I make 10, 20K a month.
Speaker: Well, that's not possible.
Speaker: Like people are working hard to do that.
Speaker: What if I lose weight and...
Speaker: my family then rejects me or what if I do find the love of my life but then he dies?
Speaker: What if I do make 20k out of nowhere but then I lose it again?
Speaker: Like notice what is the next step?
Speaker: What is coming up for you?
Speaker: And this is exactly what we need to address if we want to have and create results, achieve our goals with ease.
Speaker: and naturally.
Speaker: And this is what most of my work is about because consciously we might want something very much and it feels essential.
Speaker: But I promise you, if you've tried over and over again, over multiple years and you've tried different ways and you tried again and again and you keep repeating the same patterns and I know which one, and I know you know which ones I talk about,
Speaker: then this is what's happening.
Speaker: Your subconscious mind has something to object.
Speaker: Your subconscious mind, your body, your nervous system doesn't feel safe.
Speaker: It feels threatened by having everything you desire.
Speaker: This is where it got really interesting to me because I noticed that first I had to notice that my brain was having all these what-if worst-case scenario questions.
Speaker: And I had to flip them on their head so I could find out what was actually happening and what was causing me to stand still and repeat certain patterns instead of moving towards the things I want with ease.
Speaker: Because there's another thing, your desires want you as much as you want them.
Speaker: There's something in your being, whether it's your body, whether it's your subconscious mind, and even so I'm saying them separately.
Speaker: I'm not sure that we can separate those, but there's something in your being that doesn't feel safe having your conscious desires.
Speaker: And I want to give you an example of things that I worked through myself not long ago and how I was just mind blown at that kind of antidote.
Speaker: to all of these what-if questions, whether they're what-if-I-fail questions or if they're what-if-I-succeed.
Speaker: And I was sitting down with my best friend, we were having a co-working session and I was working through the House of We content from Victoria, Washington.
Speaker: And I asked myself about my business.
Speaker: I had a lot of what if I fail questions, but I decided to write out my what if I succeed questions.
Speaker: And I want to share what those were with you.
Speaker: What if I have millions of views on my reels, on my TikToks?
Speaker: What if I have hundreds and thousands of members inside of my holistic body club?
Speaker: What if I'm having to speak on stages?
Speaker: What if I make 10, 20, 30K months with my business?
Speaker: And I noticed that each one of these was attached to a fear.
Speaker: What if I have millions of views on my content and then I upset someone?
Speaker: What if I have a hundred or a thousand members or a million members, it doesn't matter, inside of my club and they don't like my content,
Speaker: they are upset, they wanna cancel, they wanna leave, they wanna refund.
Speaker: What if I have to speak on a stage and people don't understand what I'm saying?
Speaker: What if I'm misunderstood?
Speaker: What if people judge me?
Speaker: What if I make 10, 20, 30k months and I'm actually not worthy of that?
Speaker: What if I lose it all again?
Speaker: And you see how these were all attached to a fear.
Speaker: The fear of being rejected, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of being seen, the fear of embarrassing myself.
Speaker: And this is what is mind-blowing to me.
Speaker: And that's the antidote to all of those what-if questions.
Speaker: The antidote and the thing I realized was going to cancel all of that out with no objection whatsoever.
Speaker: The solution, the antidote was always to trust myself.
Speaker: Because when I trust myself, it doesn't matter what happens, even if I have millions of views on my content and I upset someone, or even if no one sees my content and I feel rejected, I have the tools and I trust myself that I have the tools to work through it.
Speaker: I trust myself that when that situation happens, if that happens, because right now it's just a mind game, it's just something that's happening in my head.
Speaker: I trust myself that I will be strong enough, capable enough, and I have the tools to actually move through it.
Speaker: I have full trust in myself that whatever happens, I have the emotional capacity to work through it.
Speaker: Whether it's the good or the more challenging, I trust myself that I have everything I need to move through whatever happens.
Speaker: And that applies to the fear of what if no one loves me?
Speaker: Well, I know that I have the tools to feel loved within myself.
Speaker: I also know that I trust myself even if
Speaker: no new members join my holistic body club.
Speaker: I have the stamina, I have the confidence, I have the tools to keep going and to make this holistic body club a success.
Speaker: And I also know that I have the tools and I can trust myself that if someone for whatever reason wants a refund,
Speaker: that I will have the emotional intelligence to move through that because I trust myself.
Speaker: And as I'm saying this, I know that trusting yourself is sometimes not something that's just given, especially when we have had a lot of evidence in the past that we couldn't be trusted.
Speaker: And I want to give you a specific example of someone that is struggling with food, maybe with binge eating or emotional eating, like I was for many years.
Speaker: For a long time, I didn't trust myself.
Speaker: around food.
Speaker: I didn't trust that I could control my cravings and that I could control myself to stop eating in time or to not finish the pack of chips or to not go to the shops to buy more sweets and chips and whatever.
Speaker: That evidence of I cannot trust myself around food was very deep and there was a lot of evidence that I couldn't trust myself.
Speaker: So it's not something that you can just say to yourself and just believe.
Speaker: Sometimes we need to build evidence that we can actually trust ourself, but this is where we need to put the focus.
Speaker: And in my case of emotional eating, or a lot of times more than my fullness levels, because I was actually not willing to look at my emotions,
Speaker: I have built evidence over the years by doing the deep emotional work and working on my body, my subconscious mind, working with my body, working with my nervous system, that I can actually trust my body.
Speaker: and that I can actually trust myself around food.
Speaker: Before, my strategy was to get rid of bad, quote on quote of, foods so I couldn't eat them.
Speaker: So either I would throw them out, I would try to not buy them, because I didn't trust myself around them.
Speaker: I didn't trust that if I had them at home that I wouldn't finish them.
Speaker: And fast forward doing this work on myself,
Speaker: I trust myself enough and I can have all of these foods at home and I know that I will have them if I want them but I know that they don't control me anymore because I trust myself.
Speaker: And if this is something that you struggle with too, especially around food and overeating and emotional eating and, you know, when you have a pack of chips or cookies or whatever it is,
Speaker: that you cannot stop having and you have built that belief that you cannot trust yourself you might want to check out the Holistic Body Club because you will be given the tools to look at what is actually causing you to need food when your body doesn't need it and I just released a specific resource inside of the Holistic Body Club
Speaker: to help my members build trust, trusting themselves, having my members trust themselves to have the tools and the strength and the courage and the stamina to overcome, to release, to heal.
Speaker: anything.
Speaker: So I know that trusting yourself, if there's not a lot of evidence in whatever area of your life that you can trust yourself, I invite you to focus and to prioritize building that trust with yourself.
Speaker: And like any other relationship,
Speaker: you probably have to build that trust with a loved one as well, with a friend, and there's two types of people.
Speaker: Maybe you're the one that just trusts,
Speaker: until something happens where they break your trust and then you're like done.
Speaker: And there's the other kind of people that are like, I don't trust unless you prove to me that you trust what you think.
Speaker: And either way, you need to build that trust within yourself.
Speaker: You need to build that up and start to trust that you will find a way.
Speaker: you will have the courage, you will have the tools to do the things that you want to do.
Speaker: You will have the courage to take the action, to have the energy to do the things that matter and that are important to you and that are gonna get you to where you wanna go.
Speaker: So I hope that this episode was insightful.
Speaker: If the Holistic Body Club, if emotional eating or yo-yo dieting, not trusting your body, if not feeling at home in your body, not feeling comfortable in your body, something that you struggle with a lot, then I invite you to really check out the Holistic Body Club.
Speaker: This is my signature program membership where I help...
Speaker: my soul mate clients to have the freedom they deserve with food with feeling confident in their body in having this trusting and loving relationship with their body and with food so if that's something that your soul is calling you
Speaker: to check out please feel free to do so I don't know as I'm recording this when this episode will air next week but either the doors of the Holy Sleepbody Club will just have opened or they are going to open soon and I wish you the most loving day evening afternoon wherever you are my soul friend and I call my people
Speaker: soul friends because I believe that when you end up in my world, when you're listening to my content, when you're consuming my content, that means that we are part of the same soul family and that we're soul friends.
Speaker: So soul friend, I want to let you know that you're loved, that you're seen and that I'll speak to you soon.
Speaker: Feel free to
Speaker: subscribe to the show if you haven't done so to review my podcast that would be so much appreciated and and bye bye for now thank you beautiful soul for being here with me this week don't forget to subscribe to the show and to follow me on instagram at uniquely.niki see you next time
