Transcript
Speaker: Woo!
Speaker: Welcome to the Holistic Way Podcast.
Speaker: I'm your host Nikki aka Dominique, founder of the Holistic Body Club, Holistic Body Coach and Yoga Teacher.
Speaker: I hope you'll join me weekly as we discuss a holistic approach, fresh perspective and non-negotiable self-compassion.
Speaker: Understanding is empowering and self-kindness is the new sexy.
Speaker: It is my mission to introduce to you
Speaker: new ways to work with your mind, body and emotions rather than against them to create long-term results with more ease and fun.
Speaker: hello gorgeous soul welcome back to another episode of the holistic way podcast today i have another episode where it's more holistic body related i want to speak specifically about body image body dysmorphia something that i have experienced as well and i want to give you my understanding of it
Speaker: how I healed my body image, how I worked with my body dysmorphia and give you a freebie at the end.
Speaker: So let's start by looking at my own journey with body image.
Speaker: So it's not news that I've
Speaker: had my fair share of struggles with my body image.
Speaker: If you're completely new to the podcast, to my world, to my work, I invite you to go and have a listen at two episodes about my holistic body journey.
Speaker: There's part one and part two.
Speaker: I'm going to tag them in the show notes so you can click on that if you want to have a
Speaker: an in detail version of my story but for the sake of this episode I just wanna point out a few experiences that I had with my own body image
Speaker: The first thing I want to talk about is my obsession with my belly, with my midsection, with my belly fat and how I was completely obsessed with that.
Speaker: I would constantly check if anything had changed.
Speaker: Every diet or exercise plan I've ever been on was 99%.
Speaker: to focus and work on that part of my body.
Speaker: So I was really obsessed.
Speaker: It used to be the first thing I would think of in the morning.
Speaker: It was the first thing I was like, oh, is it still there?
Speaker: And it was the last thing I would think of at night before going to bed.
Speaker: So it was constantly on my mind and it wasn't fun.
Speaker: The other thing that I experienced a lot is when I saw a picture or a video of myself of my body, it would send me down a spiral of shame and I would then...
Speaker: have so much negative self-talk that it would then lead me to unhealthy and unaligned actions like going on another diet the next day or going to the gym for an excessive workout to kind of burn or counter these things, these feelings that I experienced or even, you know, not give myself any food because I felt like, oh, you looked so ugly in that picture.
Speaker: You need to do something about it.
Speaker: Very sad part is I still have that picture on my phone.
Speaker: It's in a picture of my body because I always took before and after picture or actually only the before.
Speaker: I never got to the after.
Speaker: I always took before pictures and there's one that I still have on my phone and I can't remember what year it was.
Speaker: I want to say 2015 maybe around that time, maybe even a bit before.
Speaker: And when I look at that picture now, first of all, I remember how
Speaker: how much I hated my body, how I thought there was something wrong with my body, how it looked horrible and that I never wanted to feel like this again and it was kind of used as a motivation to get myself to do those actions that I thought would get me to the desired results.
Speaker: And when I look at it now, it makes me really sad because I look at that picture and I think there was never anything wrong with my body.
Speaker: Like it looks amazing.
Speaker: It looks gorgeous.
Speaker: And I wish that I would have known how to appreciate my body back then.
Speaker: And as I'm saying that, I know that...
Speaker: I had to go through all of these challenges to be where I am today and be able to do this work and be passionate about my work.
Speaker: But it really breaks my heart and it makes me realise how there was never anything wrong with my body, but it was actually just a mindset and a body image and even body dysmorphia thing.
Speaker: The other thing that happened a lot is that I attached meanings to experiences I had.
Speaker: So for example, every time I would feel bloated in my mind, that was attached and the meaning was I'm fat and I'm ugly.
Speaker: When it was actually just a physical reaction of my body to a food that I ate, that it was
Speaker: not happy with or maybe I ate too fast but in my mind in that moment it was a sign it was a trigger that made me feel like I needed to lose weight instead of just being an experience a physical experience that I had in the moment and that
Speaker: my weight my body was not any different than five minutes before when i didn't feel bloated and the last example that i want to give and that's something that i became aware not so long ago and i think it was middle of last year when um i saw a friend and i had already done a ton of work on
Speaker: myself, on my body image, on my food freedom, my confidence, my body and that friend we had a discussion, I can't remember exactly about what but about weight and body and I mean I'm passionate about this shit I can speak about it for hours and days and weeks and months and years
Speaker: And we were having a discussion and I remember her saying, but you're so small, you're so petite, like your body is amazing.
Speaker: And in that moment, I caught myself subconsciously, the initial thought was...
Speaker: That's not true.
Speaker: I'm not petite.
Speaker: I'm quite, you know, big.
Speaker: And it's in that moment that I realized, oh my God, I have such a distorted and outdated view of my body.
Speaker: Even after all that work I already did, in that moment, I realized, wow, like I have...
Speaker: a distorted perception of my body still to this day.
Speaker: And I didn't say anything in the moment because I felt like when I'm by myself, I just wanna feel through it, I wanna work through it.
Speaker: And I did a tapping session in the meditation
Speaker: to really shift that perspective and the interesting thing is that it was almost when I visualized it and I did the process that is going to be a part of the process in the freebie that you're going to get if you want to sign up at the end of this episode it's that was almost like if I was looking at one of these mirrors that you have
Speaker: how do you call it, like at the circus, you know, these mirrors where it distorts your body, it's all wavy, or it makes you feel very long and elongated, or very large or larger than you are, small and large.
Speaker: And in that moment, when I did this process, I realized, oh my god, like it's so distorted, and it was really...
Speaker: as if I was looking at myself in a mirror that was completely distorted and that squashed myself and made me feel larger and see myself larger than I actually was.
Speaker: And going through this process, I was able to release that instantly and I've never had that experience of, oh, but no, like I'm large, like I'm not petite.
Speaker: Like it completely disappeared after that one session.
Speaker: So that was very interesting.
Speaker: And this is the part about body image that I want to speak to you about today.
Speaker: Maybe those examples of my own experience with my body image
Speaker: is something that resonates with you too.
Speaker: Maybe you've had experiences along those lines, maybe they're different and you're realizing that's me too.
Speaker: So I'm happy to have you here, let's dive into all of it and by the end you'll have a better understanding and you'll also get access to an amazing freebie that I use as well.
Speaker: to shift my own perspective, my own perception of my body, my body image.
Speaker: But first, let's look at what your body image actually is.
Speaker: And I had to Google the actual definition of it because of course I do have my own understanding, but I was curious to see how mainstream media
Speaker: defines the word body image.
Speaker: And I found it very interesting because I do agree with that as well, is that it's the way you feel and think about your body.
Speaker: And that's the traditional description of that.
Speaker: That means you might have positive feelings about it, you might have more
Speaker: more negative feelings about it and if you're here and you're still listening probably you have more negative feelings and negative thoughts about your body than you have positive ones.
Speaker: I see, however, another layer to this, to body image, and that's the visual representation that your subconscious mind has of your body.
Speaker: So your mind has a way to represent things differently.
Speaker: in your subconscious mind and that is not using word but it's visuals so it's not going to store the word body of course it remembers the word body but when you think about your body your mind has an image that's stored in your subconscious mind to represent what your body is
Speaker: looks like and that representation like in my example might be distorted from reality and that's what they usually call body dysmorphia
Speaker: And I'm not speaking about the clinical body dysmorphia disorder, but I feel a lot of us, and maybe you included if you're listening, have distorted representation of your body.
Speaker: And the thing is that when we don't work with body image, and I'm going to get to that in more detail later, you can lose as much weight as you want.
Speaker: You can become as strong and as healthy as you want if the representation, so the body image, how it's stored in your subconscious mind is still stuck into before all the work.
Speaker: Then you will never be fully embodied and aligned and happy
Speaker: with what you've got.
Speaker: So let's do a little exercise together to see how your subconscious mind has visually represented your body.
Speaker: So make sure that you're not driving or not walking, but that you can do this exercise in a safe way because we're going to close our eyes for a moment.
Speaker: And if you can do so now, you can do this with me.
Speaker: Otherwise, pause and come back to that.
Speaker: And just make sure that you can have a comfortable seat.
Speaker: You can even do it standing.
Speaker: Make sure that you have enough balance to close your eyes.
Speaker: Just take a few deep breaths with me here in through the nose and out through your mouth.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: And I invite you to tap with me at the crown of your head.
Speaker: Just lightly with your fingers or even your collarbone.
Speaker: Just see what feels more natural.
Speaker: Either way works fine.
Speaker: Just tap gently, allowing this to access your subconscious mind.
Speaker: And I invite you to bring up an image of your body.
Speaker: And just allow this image to form in your mind's eye.
Speaker: And just notice what comes up.
Speaker: Maybe you see it clearly.
Speaker: Maybe you have that capacity to see clearly with your mind's eye.
Speaker: Maybe it's a bit fuzzy.
Speaker: Maybe it's just knowing.
Speaker: But just allow yourself to see what comes up.
Speaker: Imagine you have a mirror in front of you and you're just gazing at yourself almost as if you were looking at yourself from the outside.
Speaker: How do you see yourself?
Speaker: What do you notice?
Speaker: Is it uncomfortable to look at?
Speaker: Notice the features.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: And just make a mental note of what you saw, of what you perceived, of what your subconscious mind has stored.
Speaker: And then I invite you to open your eyes again.
Speaker: And maybe you want to test...
Speaker: And look at yourself in a real mirror with your eyes open.
Speaker: Also knowing that actually mirrors are always a distortion.
Speaker: It's not an accurate, it's not a one-to-one representation of your body.
Speaker: It's always distorted.
Speaker: But just notice how different it is.
Speaker: Do you see, do you notice differences?
Speaker: from what you've just done in your mind's eye and what you're seeing now.
Speaker: Also knowing that when you look down, you see your body.
Speaker: And it might look very different from looking at yourself from outside.
Speaker: And maybe you've always heard things that you felt wasn't true because you don't see yourself like that.
Speaker: So what do you believe about yourself, about your body, about its looks?
Speaker: And that's going to be your first sign of your body image.
Speaker: And if it's a good relationship with your body image, if it's a healthy relationship, if it's a healthy and positive body image, or maybe just like me in the past, if it's distorted,
Speaker: and not supportive so that's the first sign that your body image might benefit from some healing and I want to give you a few other points that might help you identify if yourself need or could benefit from some body image healing and the first just like me is maybe you have an old picture of yourself
Speaker: where you know you hated your body and when you look at it now, you realize how there was never anything wrong with it and there's a sense of sadness, realizing that it was more the perceptions, the meanings you had attached to your body than how your body actually was that was the problem.
Speaker: The second thing is you might have lost weight or changed or transformed your body for a period of time, but it was still not enough.
Speaker: You could still not see yourself as worthy, as good looking, and you still felt maybe fat or ugly or like there was something wrong with you.
Speaker: That's another sign that your body image might need
Speaker: some healing.
Speaker: And then third, just like me, you might have what they call a problem zone.
Speaker: And I'm just naming that.
Speaker: I think it's a horrible word, but it really expresses what I mean.
Speaker: For me, it was always my belly.
Speaker: Maybe there's a body part for you as well, specifically, that you're obsessed with, that's constantly on your mind.
Speaker: I know friends, it's their bellies too.
Speaker: Sometimes it's their legs because their skin is not how they want.
Speaker: Sometimes it's their arms.
Speaker: And usually what comes with that is that we constantly look or we only see that when we look at ourselves in the mirror.
Speaker: The brain doesn't pick up anything else.
Speaker: All we see is, oh, I've got cellulite there.
Speaker: Oh, my belly is poking out.
Speaker: Oh, my arms are floppy.
Speaker: And usually that also comes with this need to constantly check, just like I said for myself.
Speaker: Everything was about that.
Speaker: It was the first thought in the morning, it was the last in the evening.
Speaker: And it's what kept me from doing certain things.
Speaker: So maybe you experienced that too, where you would never wear shorts at the beach.
Speaker: You would never have a date where you'd have to put on a bathing suit.
Speaker: or even other things that you are keeping yourself from doing because you're unhappy with how your body looks.
Speaker: The other part how it might show up that negative or struggles with your body image might be just like looking at yourself, you only see one specific body part.
Speaker: The same could happen with pictures where you wouldn't want to be on pictures with family and friends because all you see is your flaws and maybe you see pictures of yourself, of your body,
Speaker: And you know that feeling of cold shivers that run down your back because you're horrified by what you see.
Speaker: Another sign is that when you see yourself in the mirror, you just feel instant frustration and maybe even disgust or hopelessness.
Speaker: And it's really hard for you to accept yourself, to see yourself for more than just your body because it takes so much space in your heart, in your life, in your thoughts, in your mind.
Speaker: And another sign might be, like I shared about my bloating, is when you're bloated, or maybe it's another experience that you have, that you've attached a meaning to that.
Speaker: So instead of just seeing it as a physical discomfort or a physical experience or just an experience,
Speaker: You attach meaning to it like, I'm fat, I'm weak, I'm ugly.
Speaker: And just notice these different things, how many of these resonates, maybe all of them, maybe just a few.
Speaker: And if they do resonate, I think it's important that you work on healing your body image, not only on obtaining your goals,
Speaker: Because like I said before, if you don't work with your body image, first of all, you're not using a great leverage.
Speaker: And I'm going to come to that later.
Speaker: But there's also going to be an element of never being happy, of never being fulfilled, of never thinking, hey...
Speaker: I feel so good in my body because you'll always see that old version of yourself, even if you're not that anymore.
Speaker: And I even want to say that probably you won't be able to stick to the results that you've created.
Speaker: not only because you got to them with a process that's not sustainable like dieting or excessive exercise but also because your body image the mental representation is not adapted to how you are now after you've done the work so I want to go a little bit deeper on why it's so important to heal your body image on your journey to your holistic body
Speaker: So the first aspect is exactly what I just said.
Speaker: If your body image, if that visual representation is not adapted, there's going to be a sense of never being fulfilled.
Speaker: And that's where, if we want to use a specific term, we might use the word body dysmorphia.
Speaker: You've for sure seen one of these pictures where someone looks in the mirror and they look amazing.
Speaker: But the image in the mirror is the image of someone that's bigger, that hasn't had the transformation yet.
Speaker: So that's the first reason.
Speaker: We need to make sure that these images match reality and match reality.
Speaker: where you want to go, how you want to feel, how you want to be in your body.
Speaker: Second, it might keep you from taking aligned action because you've attached meaning, thoughts, and feelings to the way your body looks, to your body image that are not supported and aligned to who you want to be and how you want your
Speaker: relationship to your body and food to be.
Speaker: And I want to give you a specific example.
Speaker: The example of being bloated, like I've used before.
Speaker: You feel bloated.
Speaker: You experience bloating.
Speaker: So you attach the meaning of I'm fat.
Speaker: You feel frustrated.
Speaker: Your mind spirals.
Speaker: So you feel more frustration.
Speaker: You're not able to process that emotion.
Speaker: And then that...
Speaker: makes you take action from an unaligned space because you act on emotions rather than being aligned and taking action from a place of love and appreciation for your body and then
Speaker: That might look like going on a new diet on Monday, starving yourself, or even think, oh, I need to exercise now to compensate.
Speaker: And that keeps you in the loop.
Speaker: But if you work with your body image and you attach more positive meanings and feelings to your body and the way you see and perceive your body, you get to break that loop.
Speaker: And the last thing that I wanna add and why it's important to work with your body image in the holistic body way is that you can reverse hack the, if we wanna call it the body dysmorphia or that negative body image that you might have of yourself.
Speaker: So what if instead of perceiving your body in a way
Speaker: a way that doesn't feel good you know you see yourself as bigger or weaker or different than you want to be and that makes you take underlined action what if you adapted that image in your subconscious mind to a body image that feels good
Speaker: of a body image where you want to be, where you see yourself, the desired outcome, instead of having an image that makes you feel bad about yourself.
Speaker: What if you delude yourself to your advantage?
Speaker: So imagine that picture of that person that looks at herself in the mirror.
Speaker: What if instead of seeing herself bigger than she actually is, what if she actually saw herself as more...
Speaker: of how she wants to look and how she wants to be.
Speaker: And use that then for your subconscious mind to reprogram everything in your body and your mind to adapt to that body image.
Speaker: So let's get to the juicy part and speak about how you can actually heal your body image.
Speaker: And as with everything, it's not a done once kind of thing.
Speaker: Body image struggles and even body dysmorphic tendency are patterns of the brains that are a lot of the time very ingrained in us from a very young age and they are often worsened or perpetuated by social media and conditioning.
Speaker: But I also want to say that with the right tools, you can make some significant changes and improvements to the way you relate to your body.
Speaker: So in the example that I gave you with my journey, one tapping session aligned myself and my body image instantly.
Speaker: Yes, I've done a lot of work before, so just doing this might just be a drop in the water, but it's an important drop in the water.
Speaker: It can't be ignored or overlooked.
Speaker: because it is needed for you to be fully aligned, fully expressed in your own body and body image.
Speaker: So the first step is always awareness.
Speaker: So like we've done the practice before where I got you to visualize how your mind has stored your body image, you need to be aware that body image
Speaker: is causing you to have thoughts feelings that will in turn affect your behavior so there needs to be an awareness of what your mind is doing what kind of attachment you have made to how your body looks what are the thoughts what are the feelings but also how your subconscious mind has represented visually your body so that's
Speaker: the first step and that will lead to you being able to detach yourself from the meanings you've made, the feelings, the thoughts.
Speaker: So in the example of bloating, once you detach being bloated to being fat,
Speaker: you can see bloating as just a physical reaction of your body.
Speaker: End of the story.
Speaker: No spiral, no negative self-talk.
Speaker: And that will come over time as you do this work on your own holistic body journey.
Speaker: The next step is to practice acceptance for the body you have now through self-compassion understanding.
Speaker: And in the Holistic Body Club, I have a whole module where I take my members
Speaker: to find understanding find gratitude for the body they have now because the body you have now is what's gonna get you to the body you want you cannot hate your body into changing and i will die on that hill if i have to i will keep repeating myself you cannot hate yourself
Speaker: Hate your body into a body you love.
Speaker: That's not how it works.
Speaker: The way to have the body you desire is by finding acceptance for the body you have now.
Speaker: And I teach it in a way that is tangible because just telling yourself that you love yourself is not going to work.
Speaker: Most people don't know how to, especially when we've spent years and years and years hating our body.
Speaker: Just pretending that you love it is not going to work.
Speaker: I've tried.
Speaker: It didn't work.
Speaker: It got me even into a more dysfunctional relationship with my body and food.
Speaker: And last but not least, I have created a freebie, a resource, and it's kind of a hybrid between a hypnosis and a tapping, an EFT tapping session that will help you embrace your dream body by upgrading your body image and the visual representation of your body and your subconscious mind.
Speaker: So your subconscious mind can then go to work like it always does.
Speaker: It does so now, except now your body image, the visual representation is set on something that you don't necessarily want.
Speaker: So you fight against it.
Speaker: But when you use your mind with this tool, with this audio,
Speaker: to reprogram how your subconscious mind has stored the perception of your body, it can then go to work for you.
Speaker: So if that's something that you want to experience, I have put the link in the show notes.
Speaker: It's completely free and it will completely change your journey to your holistic body.
Speaker: As always, I invite you to be patient with yourself, to be kind to yourself on this journey.
Speaker: There's so much more happening and going on that you could possibly be aware of.
Speaker: So please stay kind, please stay patient.
Speaker: And if you have any questions, anything you'd like to share with me,
Speaker: please feel free to reach out.
Speaker: You can either find me on social media, links are in the show notes, or you can email me at info at nikki.co.
Speaker: I always love to hear from you.
Speaker: I love to hear about your experiences and I love to support you in whatever way I can on your own holistic body journey.
Speaker: That's all for now.
Speaker: I wish you a lovely day, a lovely evening, wherever you are.
Speaker: You're loved, you're seen.
Speaker: Bye-bye.
Speaker: Thank you, beautiful soul, for being here with me this week.
Speaker: Don't forget to subscribe to the show and to follow me on Instagram at uniquely.niki.
Speaker: See you next time.
