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Myka Stauffer
88 Plays9 days ago
This week on the Mothers of All Crime we are chatting all about the , now infamous, mommy vlogger Myka Stauffer. Myka rose from popular youtuber to completely cancelled. Myka and her husband made A LOT of money by posting videos of their children. They attracted a lot of attention during the international adoption of a toddler from China. Little Huxley was heavily featured on their channel until disappearing completely from public view. The comments began filling up with "WHERE IS HUXLEY???". Eventually the "perfect" couple is forced to come clean about "rehoming" their young son. This event did not go over well online and Myka quickly loses her main income source. Krystal and Monica cover the case and the new doc series based on the scandal "An Update on Our Family"
Listener discretion is advised.
May contain explicit language and unfounded accusations.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Mothers of All Crime' and Micah Stauffer
00:00:23
Speaker
hello and welcome to the mothers of all crime this is a podcast where we deep dive into mothers involved in infamous crimes and scandals i'm monica and this is crystal welcome back to the mothers of all crime this week we're going to be talking all about micah stauffer Yes.
00:00:43
Speaker
um What a cute, on paper, I should probably start, what a cute little family. Like they really dove into this influencer family life before the Stafford family, before it became
The Stauffer Family's Early YouTube Journey
00:01:01
Speaker
so popular. Like they really were one of the first.
00:01:05
Speaker
Yeah. Early days of YouTube. Influenced mom families. like Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. I mean, Micah was doing it before she met James, before she got married. So um this was clearly her project that she's been doing since like 2012, which is early for YouTube.
00:01:23
Speaker
I feel like now it's so popular to do that. But at the time, kind of got in on the ground floor. Oh, absolutely. And I think. They were that like that family that everyone aspired, like everyone thinks they could be an influencer nowadays.
00:01:42
Speaker
and And they really quote made it, I think. And with the fact that was the case is why they became so public and why Micah became someone's absolute favorite to absolutely hate it. Like she took it full 180 online.
00:02:05
Speaker
online Yes.
Opinions on the Stauffer Family Documentary
00:02:08
Speaker
um We're going to be talking mostly about the documentary that came out on Max called An Update on Our Family, which I have mixed feelings about.
00:02:19
Speaker
i didn't love the documentary, but I did follow this when it was happening. So I was interested in watching it. And I did learn things for sure, but i didn't think it was that good of a documentary for Max anyway. They usually have like...
00:02:35
Speaker
really intense like really a lot of information and i do understand why some things could not be shared or really shouldn't have been even researched maybe by the documentary because it is about children and their privacy but i just feel like it really centered a lot around that lady hannah which she really didn't have anything to do with anything Yeah, i I agree with you. I have mixed feelings.
00:03:02
Speaker
I definitely lean to not liking it because I feel like it's it was more of like other people's opinions of the family rather than the family, things about the family.
00:03:18
Speaker
However, I will say Micah and James did refuse to
Micah's Vlogging Journey and Family Expansion
00:03:23
Speaker
participate. They tried reaching out and they'd have – they never responded so that is part of why they couldn't get any other information and i think they had to take that route so my guess is like they probably put it in production to be like oh they'll totally be part of it and then they were like okay now what pivot
00:03:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think that obviously if anyone in the Stauffer inner circle would have participated, it would have been more interesting. But I also understand why they and their immediate family and friends did not participate because it's not just it's not just James and Micah, but really nobody from their world participated.
00:04:05
Speaker
It was a lot of other YouTubers and fans and brands and stuff like that that didn't have a lot to do with the actual situation that made them infamous anyway.
00:04:18
Speaker
Right. And only one of the fellow like family bloggers was willing to even talk about Micah. All the rest of them were like, be careful. Don't say anything. I'm not going to comment.
00:04:30
Speaker
So there was this huge fear of being canceled while this was being produced. So I see why they have that fear. And we're going to get into that.
00:04:41
Speaker
But like it I don't know. I don't think they had another option, but not the biggest fan.
00:04:49
Speaker
Yeah. It was an easy watch, though. It was definitely an easy watch. If someone wants something a little more lighthearted than what we normally talk about, it definitely was an easy thing to kind of listen to.
00:05:00
Speaker
i think that's the one positive that came from it.
00:05:05
Speaker
Yeah, it was it was an easy watch. It didn't need to be three episodes, though. It definitely could have been a one-hour documentary, and I do think that would have been better. It felt very dragged out.
00:05:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's get into anyway who Micah is.
00:05:23
Speaker
So Micah was an only child who started vlogging in 2012 when she was a single mom of one child. And she was a nurse. And she met James, her her husband, eventually on OkCupid.
00:05:40
Speaker
They got married really quickly, had a bunch of babies, shared lots and lots of information about birth, about home birth, about pregnancy, lot of use of the word journey.
00:05:59
Speaker
I know that was her job, but to me, it's oversharing. Yeah. And I think there's pros and cons to that, right? So she was really one of the first and one of the most popular like mommy bloggers.
00:06:13
Speaker
And she really kind of opened a door into a conversation that a lot of people sometimes didn't talk about. So you're right. She had The normal like getting married, having babies, this is a great way to clean, like the quote stay at home mom stuff.
00:06:30
Speaker
But she also opened the door into... conceiving and then losing the baby and how to have dealing with that. So she really brought her fans into the life.
00:06:43
Speaker
And i think at that point, it wasn't something super talked about. So if you were sitting at home and you had just lost a child, you had someone that you like knew they were going through the same thing. So maybe you didn't feel alone. And when you're listening to this video of like, Oh, she feels like this.
00:07:01
Speaker
I feel like this. Okay. That's normal. Right. So I think her early stuff became so popular because it was very relatable to a lot of women.
00:07:13
Speaker
Agreed. Yeah. And she was really, really open even during a miscarriage after a miscarriage, sharing a lot of details. And I do think it's an important topic. It's so, so common and it's really under talked about even now, but certainly at the time.
00:07:31
Speaker
And so even though to me, It feels like maybe she should have taken more time to process and grieve on her own without sharing. I do understand that she was trying to provide content that's not already out there and also be really vulnerable.
00:07:50
Speaker
And YouTube wasn't what it is now at the time either, where she maybe also didn't know that she was going to have the audience that she did. and people are drawn to honesty and vulnerability and it certainly
Challenges of Family Vlogging and Content Creation
00:08:03
Speaker
worked.
00:08:03
Speaker
But part of the problem with being a family vlogger is that you you need constant content, which means you need big announcements all of the time.
00:08:15
Speaker
Which is hard to keep up with. Oh, absolutely. And i think you have those big announcements. She had many children. So there was always the baby posts and pregnancy posts, I should say, were very big clickers. So that's where they would get a lot of views, a lot of revenue. Like they had that pulling in, that constant coming back.
00:08:38
Speaker
But then you had those, like you said, you have to have constant content. So it's just a daily life, a daily vlog. And it's them doing... fun things to temper tantrums to activities travel so you have a little bit of it all which I i agree I have mixed feelings about because you have one hand you're showing that okay not parenting isn't always perfect it's not always bright and sparkly and fun you sometimes want to pull your hair out and your kids screaming and there's nothing you could do about it and
00:09:15
Speaker
I think a lot of current mommy bloggers are much more like, live this perfect shiny life. My family is a like, look how amazing we are and how perfect we are. Nothing ever goes wrong.
00:09:28
Speaker
Versus these YouTube early day ones really were like, here's the guts and glory of my life. you have But also, i feel weird about watching three-year-old's temper tantrum because they're so like tired and they just want to go to bed. Like didn't yeah it's a double-edged sword for sure.
00:09:54
Speaker
Definitely.
Legal Protections for Children in Vlogs
00:09:55
Speaker
And I think in the time that we are now, it's becoming much more of a concern and there's starting to be laws put in place to protect children who are the main stars, essentially, of their families, YouTube channels or Instagrams, TikToks.
00:10:15
Speaker
whatever, especially in California, there are now laws about how the children should be paid for that and how money has to be put in trust. And it can't be touched by their parents, similar to Coogan account that's set up for child actors.
00:10:28
Speaker
But it's certainly not something that's international or even national at this point. And I think that it starts out being about Micah, by videos just about Micah aren't grabbing the attention than the videos about all the kids are, the pregnancies, and the pregnancies who become people. Now those people are the stars of the channel and they aren't really consenting to that.
00:10:55
Speaker
And so things that they did in childhood are open for discussion on the internet, available to anyone to watch. And I don't know if that that's really fair her kids.
00:11:08
Speaker
Yeah.
Income and Brand Deals from Vlogging
00:11:09
Speaker
so as she grew in popularity, as more people were watching, she started getting brand deals, which goes with YouTube in general. So the more views you have, you can start becoming eligible for stuff and actually making money from this life.
00:11:25
Speaker
And she truly got to a point where they were raking in money. She had some really big names from everything from like Dan and yogurt to Walmart to Barbie to Fabletics.
00:11:42
Speaker
Like she had, and honestly, all the ones that I could think of at some point popped up in this documentary and it it was huge. But every once in a while, there would be one that like I think we all watch these ads and we're like, we know that it's not entirely true because you're like, here's an ad and I have to promote it somehow related to my channel.
00:12:03
Speaker
But every once in a while, i was like, oh, that was forced. Like sometimes they were bad. And i think we'll get into one of them later. But she we they were making – I think at one point she said $50,000 like regularly.
00:12:19
Speaker
was it a month? I can't remember off the top my head. But either way. I thought it was per brand. Per brand. Either way. Ridiculous money. at her At her height, she was getting millions of views, which YouTube shares 50% of ad revenue with creators.
00:12:37
Speaker
So – I mean, the Earls family were saying something about making seven cents every time someone watched their ads. So if millions of people are watching, it quickly extrapolates into a very significant amount of money.
00:12:53
Speaker
um i I enjoyed that Fabletics was part of it, but I i got the feeling that they kind of tricked Fabletics into even participating in documentary. 100%.
00:13:04
Speaker
but The second they brought up Micah, oh, no, no, no. no We're not talking about that. Which, considering, i get it. Because, again, cancel culture, they are – so, like, you have to buy directly from them. It's not like you can go to Target and buy it. So – i I get it.
00:13:23
Speaker
And they were talking about how moms are their number one clientele and their mommy bloggers are their number one source of ad income. like They don't have to pay people to run ads for them because ah or nearly as much because they just have these PR reps like Micah promoting it for them. Exactly. Exactly.
00:13:48
Speaker
It's definitely the way of the future when it comes to ads. Like people aren't really watching commercials on cable TV at the level that they were in years previously. So now that everyone's scrolling on their phone or they're streaming, it makes more sense to pay influencers that are actually going to be seen by millions of people to do these advertisements.
00:14:09
Speaker
And micah and her family were making very good money doing that and her husband james had his own channel that was completely separate all about cars and car maintenance and stuff so i'm sure he had his own ads that were different because he's not going to promote fabletics on that channel but i'm sure there's other things well also his didn't have anything to do with the kids
Adoption of Huxley: Intentions and Controversies
00:14:36
Speaker
So right. I had nothing to with the kids.
00:14:37
Speaker
Yeah. Like there was no point where you're like you went on and saw the kids, like all the kids stuff was related to her. So I think that's important to distinguish the two of them.
00:14:51
Speaker
Definitely. And it's not an an exaggeration to say that hers was extremely more successful and had a lot more views, had a lot more revenue That was really what was supporting their family at that point was Michael's channel.
00:15:08
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. So like you mentioned, there has to be a lot of announcements. And one of their announcements was that they decided um God guided her to this, which stuck out to me because it's the only time I really heard anything related to faith was that sentence.
00:15:31
Speaker
um To adopt a baby from China who was going to be their fourth child.
00:15:38
Speaker
Hashtag big surprise. I know. um So they went through the World Association of Children and Parents, um which has now rebranded itself, by the way. It's now called HALT International.
00:15:52
Speaker
I wonder if that has a slight connection wonder. But they basically went to... They claimed they did research to adopt in the United States and decided that they were going to do it through China.
00:16:10
Speaker
And one thing when it comes to adoption... They actually... oop Oh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that they said that social workers in the United States were pointing them towards adopting in China, which I guess is possible, but to me sounds very...
00:16:27
Speaker
unlikely it doesn't seem like advice that doesn't that doesn't track as true for me I do think if you're trying to do the fastest adoption possible maybe that's the route to go but I just that didn't hit me as true Yeah, I could see it being not the whole truth, but partially the truth.
00:16:48
Speaker
So like if they were having a conversation and like, hey, we want a child under the age of three and want a closed adoption. We want no connection. with but If they had all of these stipulations and they're like, and we want to do it as quick as possible.
00:17:04
Speaker
i could see them being like, well, then you need to go international because that's not an option here. Like I could see. Yeah. and I can't see them. I agree being like, don't do it in the U.S. s But I could see if they went in and were like, here are all these stipulations. They could turn around and be like, that's not how this works in the U.S. So maybe you need to look internationally.
00:17:25
Speaker
That's my only thought.
00:17:29
Speaker
Sure. it but It is possible. I mean, we saw the requirements for the... adoption agency they went through in China. And I don't know actually what the requirements would be if she if they did it locally in Ohio.
00:17:42
Speaker
But I can't, I mean, it depends on what they're trying to do, though. If they're trying to do domestic infant adoption, that is going to be long waits, typically. But if they were going to do foster to adopt, foster care, stuff like that through Ohio, that would actually be way faster than adopting internationally.
00:18:01
Speaker
So I think maybe they just weren't willing to do that and they were looking for more of a direct match. Right. And which I don't think they want that like outside. and Like they didn't want...
00:18:13
Speaker
the children's parents popping in and be like hey like I don't think they wanted that option or connection i think they wanted to be like this is my baby not anybody else's because she constantly was like my child is over there I but which I get but even before she officially adopted them I don't know it felt like she wanted it very closed you know what i mean Yes.
00:18:44
Speaker
um They had a lot of specific ideas about what this experience was supposed to be like. And I think even them picking out a name before having the child attached to it, to me, and announcing the name so publicly, and so you have to go with it, even if it doesn't really fit the child that you end up adopting,
00:19:08
Speaker
like lets me think that this is not really child focused and it's more just focused on them and what they want from the experience, which I do think a lot of people go into adoption and even having babies, I mean, in any way,
00:19:22
Speaker
It's very parent focused. It's very adult focused. And it wasn't really about the kid. It was more about them is what it felt like to me. I think it's tough with the name for sure, because also it wasn't like he was an infant.
00:19:39
Speaker
He was old enough. He was a toddler, but like old is enough to know what his name was. Old enough to respond. Like old enough where all of a sudden if your name's Tim and someone's telling you your new name is Huxley, you now need to learn that that's what I'm supposed to respond to.
00:20:02
Speaker
Which... That's where I felt weird about it Because, like, it'd be one thing if they changed the big his name and he was, like, six months old. Not that I'm saying it's right, but I'm like, at least he didn't know what his name was yet.
00:20:15
Speaker
And it was just given to him. Versus bringing a a tiny human who already has a name and then changing it.
00:20:27
Speaker
Yes. Um... I totally agree with that, especially because this is a child that's probably not being raised in an English speaking environment. So he's going to have a language barrier.
00:20:41
Speaker
He's going to have to adjust to all new people. And now he also has a new name that's not even really picked out for him specifically. He's he was picked out to fit the name, essentially.
00:20:55
Speaker
Yeah, I will say, trying to play devil's advocate, not necessarily my opinion, my only other thought, though, okay is i if you're – because I'm trying to put myself in her situation, and it's hard because i I agree with where we are standing, but I'm trying to think of what her thought process was, and the only thing I could come up with if – if you have a baby most parents pick out the name prior to them being born and just this is the name sometimes they give birth and they change it because they just do but most of the time you already have it picked out sure so sure my again she's adopting a toddler which i don't think she was considered but she very much from the clips that we saw was approaching this is like i have a new baby coming in
00:21:47
Speaker
And when I have a baby, like she was giving birth herself, I need to pick out a name. I need to make the announcement. Like she was handling it like he was an infant.
00:21:59
Speaker
And this is where the cringy – ad thing came in is there was like a detergent commercial she did that's supposed to smell like a newborn baby that she basically was saying during the the ad that she uses this with her adoptive son so she can smell like him like a baby during cuddles because she didn't get that like i think she was trying to erase the fact that he was a couple years old and it wasn't like
00:22:30
Speaker
Is that making
Handling Huxley's Transition and Privacy Concerns
00:22:31
Speaker
sense? Like I'm trying to. does. It does make sense. And I don't think that the Stauffers are the only people that approach adoption. Oh, no. Where it's absolutely not. I don't think it's a very.
00:22:44
Speaker
Like, I don't know. And I feel like it's a naive approach as if like his life is really going to begin when he is with you guys, whereas he's actually a person already that's already had a life and experiences.
00:23:00
Speaker
And we're going to try to incorporate him into our family and we want to make him feel really welcome in our family. It was more about, well, he's just going to be starting his life now.
00:23:12
Speaker
This is this is the true beginning. And they seemed because they did end up adopting Huxley from China. That's what they named him. I don't know what his name was prior. They no idea really hyped it up and they did come back with him.
00:23:27
Speaker
And they seemed genuinely extremely surprised at how bonded he had been with his foster family in China. Which... I couldn't understand if you thought you were getting him from an orphanage, but he was not in an orphanage. he would I mean, he and was with a family.
00:23:46
Speaker
Right. And we don't necessarily know if they knew that either. um Sure. Because I did try to do research on the company that they went through, and it doesn't really say. and it looks, from the way they were explaining it and the way it looks now, look night and day. So I can't really tell what they were doing.
00:24:05
Speaker
um but i i wonder if like they just didn't know that that was a situation because you could also see like they look generally surprised absolutely true but they also looked really sad because like you i think it registers to them that like they're taking him away from everything that he knew and that is really sad and it's heartbreaking to watch but like I don't know. It was a weird level of emotions watching the video or the vlog of them picking him up.
00:24:37
Speaker
Them picking him up and the early days afterwards where they just... I mean, it's not... unbelievable to me that this child would have a very difficult transition.
00:24:49
Speaker
Not to mention, this is a toddler who does not speak English that's going on an extremely long international flight, the first flight ever, and then going to be living with strangers.
00:25:00
Speaker
They know about him because they've seen videos and pictures and been told a lot about him, but he doesn't know them. So I think that their expectations were not reasonable. I think that they were very naive. But again, I don't think that that is so unique. I think there's a lot of people who think that all a child needs is love.
00:25:22
Speaker
And obviously, children need love, but that's not all that they need. And I think that that is a little, it's oversimplifying it. Yeah. And you you could tell that it was traumatic for him. Like he had a lot of process to do.
00:25:36
Speaker
And after a couple videos of stuff, they actually addressed it in one where they basically were like, he's grieving the loss of what he had and we don't want to post that.
00:25:51
Speaker
And it's his privacy And then in that moment, I kind of went, okay, so it's okay to post your other children as they're going through stuff, but it's not okay if you're posting about him going through stuff.
00:26:04
Speaker
Like, this is where the disparity started for me. And... I get i like the idea of like, hey, this is a private thing. He is going through something. I like that.
00:26:16
Speaker
But it also felt fake. It felt like they weren't it wasn't the content that they originally wanted. So they're like, we're just going to ignore it.
00:26:29
Speaker
That's that's how I felt, too. I think that they were waiting for Huxley to get in line and to behave the way that they expected him to on the vlogs, which this is just my opinion. But I think that they thought that they were going to rescue a child from a miserable existence and he would just be so grateful and they would just have this instant bond.
00:26:53
Speaker
And even though they said they were very, very open to a child with disabilities, it seemed like they were pretty surprised that he had some disabilities.
00:27:06
Speaker
Oh my God, right? So prior to them adopting him, you had to check a list of like what you'd be willing to consider and what you wouldn't be from a disability perspective. And we've talked about that before, I think.
00:27:17
Speaker
um But they were like, oh yeah, we checked 99% of them out of the 100. And when push came to shove and they're getting him evaluated, they were like, oh, my God, he definitely has issues. And we're getting a medical team and we're not going to post about it.
00:27:36
Speaker
And James that started being the forefront. He posted a vlog of taking Huxley to the doctors and getting evaluated and all that. And people went after him being like, why? Where's Micah? Why is it Micah? And this is where got angry at the fans for that one.
00:27:59
Speaker
Because you mean you're mad at him for being a dad? Like, it's not exactly the moms. ah Like, she doesn't have to do 100% of everything. Like, that's ridiculous.
00:28:12
Speaker
You're sitting there being like, why isn't she at this doctor's appointment? I'm like, oh, probably because she's at home with the other three children. he's capable of taking his son to a doctor's appointment. Like, I got so annoyed.
00:28:28
Speaker
i i mean, the expectation that fathers aren't supposed to parent blows my mind every time and that it's such a shock that he would maybe be involved in their day-to-day care or even know about their doctor's appointments.
00:28:43
Speaker
How dare you? I mean, that always bothers me. And I do think that there is a lot, a lot of criticism for Micah and how she's handled everything. And there's not enough criticism for James when they clearly were making all these decisions together.
00:28:59
Speaker
They're both responsible For all their blogged. They both posted. They both did it. They both and monetized their children. Yes. They were both very involved. There's no question.
00:29:11
Speaker
And I think you're right. I think he kind of got off scot-free, honestly. And she took pretty much the most of it. And even their children started taking some of it. And he got off scot-free. And i kind of annoys me.
00:29:26
Speaker
But we'll get to that. Me too. Yeah, definitely. So around the time that she was doing the baby detergent ads, which I agree with you, very bizarre.
00:29:39
Speaker
It's not like he was never a baby. You just didn't know him when he was a baby. Like, I i don't know. All of it felt very creepy to me. um Like she was trying to infantilize him to give herself the experience that she wanted, was...
00:29:55
Speaker
It's just, I don't know. But she was teasing that they were maybe going to adopt again on the channel. And then that's when she did an extremely dramatic pregnancy reveal that they're pregnant again.
00:30:10
Speaker
With baby number five this time. And this is when she's kneeling on one knee. Giving James a pacifier. It's all a lot. In a um candle lit room. Instead of adopting den. Rose petals.
00:30:26
Speaker
It was so weird. That would be strange to do for a first baby reveal. But for a fifth baby reveal. It's even weirder. i don't know. again, felt extremely fake. Like, you're telling me that this is how he's genuinely finding out that you're pregnant? I just don't believe that.
00:30:47
Speaker
But yeah, i think... I mean, he can smell the... I don't know. Yeah, but I think it was also like... so It had to be different than the others, right? Because if she had normal ones up until then, like, how creative can you be on your fifth baby at that point?
00:31:02
Speaker
So I think that was part of, like, she just felt like she needed the content. And but around this that time is really when she visibly started changing financially, where the fans started seeing the difference of where they started and the way that they were living now.
00:31:24
Speaker
And it was night and day.
Public Backlash and Huxley's Medical Information
00:31:29
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, they clearly had a lot more money than they used to. Yeah. And what I also thought was interesting, she started like, obviously, as they get more popular, she started doing interviews and things like that.
00:31:42
Speaker
And during one interview that they actually posted in the documentary, she was asked what her biggest failure was. And she started talking about the adoption, which... oh You could tell the interviewer felt weird. He even said it after because he was part of it.
00:31:58
Speaker
He was like it was weird. Normally, my responses are I posted too much. i got burnt out. i He's like, and you're telling me that adopting your child was your biggest failure.
00:32:12
Speaker
Yeah, it kind of shows where her head was at at the time. And I don't know if she like interpreted as like misjudgment. Like I didn't prepare myself accordingly. I misjudged the situation. Like I'm hoping that that's how she took it.
00:32:28
Speaker
But the way the question was phrased, it just the whole thing felt weird and icky. My interpretation of her answer was that her biggest mistake, her biggest failure was promoting it so much prior to the adoption and then not being able to deliver on the content.
00:32:48
Speaker
um I mean, there was a lot of Huxley content, but I think that he wasn't, it wasn't, she wasn't able to present the narrative that she wanted to present.
00:33:01
Speaker
And so that from a specifically from a blog point of view, that was a failure. Yeah. And as contact coming out, one that they did do on Hugsley was his diagnosis.
00:33:18
Speaker
So they had him going to doctors and he was found to have ADHD, autism. um Oh, my goodness. I didn't write down the third one.
00:33:31
Speaker
Another one. um But because of those things, he most likely was never going to be fully potty trained. He probably was going to be struggling with language and po partly mute.
00:33:46
Speaker
He was going to struggle with his emotions, his responses. And... they really hit in the video james's facial expressions looked honest hers looked forced
00:34:07
Speaker
yeah i mean it's a big thing to process an autism diagnosis um And i think that I understand why they were sharing those things because they already were sharing way too much about their kids at the time. But it just, it feels like very private medical information of a small child for them to putting on their blog. Just saying autism and like ADHD, I think would have been enough, but they started going into it and all of these other things.
00:34:41
Speaker
And it I don't necessarily think that you should be announcing your child's disabilities online, but I do think those are common ones where if they just left it at that, people would know what it meant and could look into it. Or if you have a child who has those diagnoses, there's your relate.
00:35:01
Speaker
You know what i mean? and but it was the overshare that just consistently you see over and over again and i mean there were sweet moments that we saw with the parents and the siblings like it seemed overall like they got along and he was very visible for about it did seem like they were two years yeah um yeah yeah um they They did a lot of work with him and filmed it where they were working on words and talking and you know therapies that you can do at home. And that was a big part of his content.
00:35:41
Speaker
And he was certainly involved in the family, was with all of the siblings, with the parents. And he was a huge feature up until... I mean, they had the new baby.
00:35:53
Speaker
There's videos of Huxley with the new baby. And then... About two and a half years into him living with the Stauffers, he is not featured in any more videos.
00:36:05
Speaker
And people start commenting. And in these videos where people are commenting, the comments are starting to get removed.
00:36:17
Speaker
Which is a big red flag in YouTube world. And then people are noticing that in their cars, Huxley's car seat is not there. and ultimately all of the Huxley videos are removed.
00:36:33
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's like the same thing as current moments when people post a TikTok and turn off the comments. Like that's my comparison because in that period of time, YouTube was like the place to be.
00:36:48
Speaker
So if you're deleting all the comments about your child who you had made content on, what are you hiding? Red flags everywhere.
00:36:58
Speaker
Right. And they were posting a lot of other things. It's just Huxley is not in any of them. They're not talking about him. There's nothing about him.
00:37:08
Speaker
Yeah. and she started posting like things not even about her other children. Like she started posting about like cleaning and back like back to other random things but that are on brand, but not necessarily.
00:37:22
Speaker
Right. Not the children. hmm.
00:37:28
Speaker
Right. So she posts a strange video where she has like some sort of filter on where it looks like there's diamonds in her eyes saying, I know people are seeing, are noticing Huxley, you know, whatever.
00:37:44
Speaker
We're going to make an announcement as soon as we can. And that eventually comes out in a video titled an update on our family and that was may 26 2020 where they're explaining without really explaining why huxley is not there they don't give a lot of details they're suddenly very concerned about his privacy right And during that video, they kind of also pointed out like there were a lot of needs that he had that they weren't told.
00:38:24
Speaker
And again, my response to that was like, didn't you check off all the boxes though? So is that not, which part of it's not true? Like, did they tell you he had no issues or did you not actually check all those boxes? And once he was evaluated, you had these issues.
00:38:41
Speaker
So. weird exactly exactly so there's they claimed that numerous medical professionals were telling them that Huxley needed more than Stauffers could provide and implied that these medical professionals found someone else a new forever family for Huxley and he has been removed from their family and now is with his new forever family Which does not ring true at all.
00:39:15
Speaker
There's no way a doctor or any medical professional was saying, you know what the solution is? is you give him up. Give him away. That's not...
00:39:28
Speaker
like doctor advice right like what what and then what i kept saying like something happened for us to make this decision but then never said what happened because like like you said we're very concerned about his privacy bull you you guys got overwhelmed you took on too much you didn't think it was going be hard and
Huxley's New Family and Public Reaction
00:39:55
Speaker
realized this was difficult and they tried to present themselves as these horror victims of misinformation and guess what that's not the internet did not respond well nor should they have
00:40:11
Speaker
Yeah, of course. Of course. I mean, this is terrible. This, I mean, is this is cruel to me is that this child who has already been displaced from his home is now being displaced again. is he being renamed again?
00:40:29
Speaker
Like this is just a lot of upheaval and abandonment for this poor child who's who has become accustomed to them. I mean, i know that we don't know all of the details and I feel like they were kind of implying that it was an unsafe situation and that's possible.
00:40:49
Speaker
But i think that it's very easy to say that and not back it up and not have any specifics. And I think that the reality is they just were not as committed to Huxley as they were to their biological children who they did not give away.
00:41:05
Speaker
Like maybe a new baby on top of an adopted toddler is a lot, but it's not like you're considering giving up the new baby. Yeah, they definitely put in there that there was some kind of like mental health hint.
00:41:17
Speaker
um But again, i think this interpretation from production because, again, the staffers were not a part of this documentary. Right.
00:41:28
Speaker
So I think the documentary was trying to give the alternative option of like, hey, here's why some people might do this. And they did interview a family who had to give up a child because of behavioral issues that cause mental health.
00:41:44
Speaker
And
00:41:48
Speaker
it doesn't make it okay. But I think that's what production was trying to do, which I don't necessarily ah I don't know. I see why production did it. I just, it still makes me feel icky because you invest in your children, but when it comes hard, you don't.
00:42:11
Speaker
In all of her previous videos, this is my child. It's not a return. Like she really pushed this idea and now she's backtracking.
00:42:21
Speaker
So why'd you do it? He was your child until it was not convenient and he was not performing. And now he's out.
00:42:34
Speaker
Yeah, and then they also posted clip talking about finances when it came to Hugsley and Micah claiming that they had therapy that was costing $500.
00:42:47
Speaker
ah you She said once a month and then she said half an hour, so like it wasn't really clear, and that they were going to change to a $70 therapy almost $1,000 of jewelry while she had almost a thousand dollars of jewelry on So again, it's that you're downgrading something to give up helping the child for you to live a certain type of lifestyle.
00:43:13
Speaker
And i think the internet started not only turning on her, but started doing that investigation. So you mentioned the car seat wasn't there anymore. They started looking up videos and placing together and all a sudden they found one that had been uploaded deleted and re-uploaded but it was shorter after the reload and as we 20 missing seconds once it's on the internet you dig hard enough still there technically and
00:43:49
Speaker
from the video it looks like they had So previously Hugsley was wearing a thumb guard that the Staffords claim that their dentist told them to put it on him because it was messing up his teeth because he was sucking on his thumb so much.
00:44:06
Speaker
Which that I had never heard of, but it could be very possible. feels reasonable. um But then in the video, he had duct tape around his hand where the thumb guard normally was.
00:44:22
Speaker
Right. Which very Ruby Frankie. Yes. Very, very. and It's an extreme adhesive duct tape.
00:44:34
Speaker
Like that is going to really hurt to take off. That is not good for your skin. ah it's awful. Yeah. Particularly for like no way sensitive small children.
00:44:46
Speaker
my God. Imagine having duct tape taped around your skin like that and then getting pulled off.
00:44:53
Speaker
You know. That's terrible. That's terrible. But again. And people hated that Never addressed it. They got tons of death threats. Right. And they started getting those death threats. And this is where we talked about the disparity of Micah was getting death threats.
00:45:08
Speaker
The children, her other children were getting death threats. But we hear nothing about James getting threats. Which... I hate like again. Yeah, you're totally right. It's not that I want him to get death threats. That's not what I'm saying at all.
00:45:27
Speaker
But me either. It feels very unfair. Why is it that let's take even Mike at why are your children being attacked to punish you, but not your husband.
00:45:41
Speaker
again ah does It doesn't make any sense to me.
00:45:46
Speaker
I know. And that's why I am glad that we're talking about this documentary, because I do feel like the focus is on Micah partially because her channel is all about parenting, pregnancy, motherhood, whatever. And James is a part of her channel, but it is not revolving around him.
00:46:04
Speaker
So he's not the main character. and No one's expecting much from him, essentially. It's almost like Micah's calling all of the shots. To me, this is kind of a form of weaponized incompetence where it's like, well, he's just a man.
00:46:18
Speaker
he's just a dad. Like how how much say could he have in this? You know, obviously, she's a failure as a mother and he's supporting his wife. Yeah. In her decisions.
00:46:29
Speaker
Even though they're both full-time content creators who are home all the time. Right? Mm-hmm. No. And it's so interesting to me that everyone is so brave behind a keyboard.
00:46:41
Speaker
And you have these people expressing concern about this child and worrying about her family.
CPS Investigation and Online Theories
00:46:51
Speaker
Yet you're threatening her family.
00:46:53
Speaker
like doesn't make any sense. And. It's super deranged. Called in. Allegations of child abuse. And a sheriff's department actually opened an investigation. Against them.
00:47:06
Speaker
Which. As we've. I don't know. We all know. But like we talked about at least. Once child services gets involved in your life. Your life changes.
00:47:18
Speaker
Regardless of what the outcome is. It changes.
00:47:23
Speaker
right and whatever scrutiny they were trying to avoid with the child protective service system by not going through the their state to adopt they are now receiving worse end of it right getting a lot of scrutiny they're getting a lot of criticism they are being investigated i mean some people really thought that they killed huxley that he was just abandoned somewhere or that he was buried in their backyard. i do think that it was a suspicious set of circumstances and things were not really adding up and people get into these conspiracy theories and then it becomes the snowball effect and
00:48:04
Speaker
I think that a lot of times the police, Child Protective Services, I mean, they obviously have to take all of these reports seriously, but these are not really coming from people who know them in real life. But this is also a consequence of being a family blogger.
00:48:18
Speaker
You're putting it out there. Oh, 100%. But keep with that exact thing, i think people feel entitled to all information. Yeah. Like I don't think people recognize that yes, they're family blogging and yes, they're putting a lot of their life on the internet, but that's not 24 hours, seven days a week of their life. It might feel like that. might feel like you know the family, but you don't.
00:48:42
Speaker
right So calling in human trafficking allegations is extreme for someone who's like, well, on the internet, I saw this. Therefore, the children are at danger.
00:48:57
Speaker
Okay, sometimes that's true, absolutely. But, again, very brave behind a keyboard for someone who's never actually met the family.
00:49:08
Speaker
Absolutely. And it's probably wasn't necessary. i I would have been shocked, though, if they were not getting death threats and they were not getting reports filed against them because it was so public and they were so known.
00:49:25
Speaker
And... I do think that this is a consequence, but I agree with you. I think that Micah was unfairly blamed for all of this when clearly James was just as much a part of the problem.
00:49:37
Speaker
And even while they were discussing everything, it was all about, well, Micah's tried really hard. Not we both tried really hard. It's, you know, she tried. Obviously she's a bad mom, but she tried.
00:49:51
Speaker
And we need to focus on our real kids. Yeah. is what I got from him anyway. Yeah. I never felt like he was as into the adoption stuff, but I think that,
00:50:04
Speaker
don't know. Yeah. i do think important. think that they wanted a lot of kids for content for sure. And that was the whole point. Yeah. ah yeah I do think it's important to mention that when the sheriff's office did do the investigation, nothing came back.
00:50:18
Speaker
Like there were no signs of abuse. There was no trafficking indications. There was no – the children weren't in any danger that they found or noticed or during the reviews. And this is where – who was the Twitter person?
00:50:36
Speaker
Maybe I don't want to say her name. It's totally – Oh, I have it have it written down. Do we not want to say it? I don't know. Because her whole shtick is going after people.
00:50:46
Speaker
so I don't know. I know. know. That's true. But, I mean, she's someone who calls out influencers online, which we are not. So I'm really not worried about it. I mean, people can call us out all they want also about our opinions about this because I feel pretty confident in my opinion.
00:51:02
Speaker
Right. um But... Basically, there's people who troll influencers online and they are not journalists, so they can just post whatever the fuck they want.
00:51:14
Speaker
And that drove criticism up even further for the Stauffers and it became very viral. And that's why there's even a documentary about it. Right.
00:51:24
Speaker
And so when they were talking to her about... the children getting death threats and her getting attacked like all of this stuff and then showing her the police support that nothing was found she kind of looked disappointed that these the police found nothing and when they asked like hey do you like regret anything i i agree with her like attention you need to be held accountable for your actions but i also don't agree with her of like no remorse for the children suffering after the fact. Like you're not just attacking Micah.
00:52:03
Speaker
You're attacking yeah all of this. And I'm like, um I would feel bad. i don't I don't know. I don't really like the way she responded of like, no, I just don't care. That's kind of how it felt like Sure. I mean, she can't really see them as human beings because she has to detach herself from it in order to do her whole thing.
00:52:24
Speaker
But also, I think she doesn't feel responsible because she feels like Micah and James are the ones that even expose their children to the world this way. And if they hadn't done that, they wouldn't have been in a position to be attacked.
00:52:38
Speaker
but And so ultimately it's really their fault and it's not really her fault, which I do agree with, but clearly her actions led to harm as well. So I think we could all be wrong here and we could all take some accountability, but I understand because the Stauffers are not taking accountability the way I want them to, that i probably also wouldn't.
00:52:58
Speaker
Yeah. And then people also were reaching out to the brands. So within but pretty much a week, every brand dropped her. They had no more income. um Micah did post an apology on Instagram, which was just screenshots of writing.
00:53:16
Speaker
um and then she was gone her social media is everywhere gone nothing's there anymore the only thing left is james's channel for the garage that's up and running um but she was canceled like she is the perfect example of the internet will turn on you instantly
00:53:41
Speaker
But it is also a decision to stay canceled because Micah could have not saying it would have been wise or the correct decision to make. I do think that her stepping away was probably what was best in the situation. But if she had just continued to post through this, she possibly could have come out the other side of it because the only way to truly be canceled is to stop.
Micah's Exit from Social Media and Cancel Culture
00:54:04
Speaker
producing content like no one is actually going to show up and stop you from posting there's she was not blocked from youtube she was not blocked by instagram like she could still make content maybe she couldn't have monetized it the way that she wanted to but she was canceled and she accepted the cancellation and i think it was the right call because i don't know that i mean her image was forever altered that's for sure I don't think she could have come back, though.
00:54:35
Speaker
Like, I don't think this is one of those ones that you can just, like, post through. it depends on what you mean by come. I mean, she certainly could have posted through, but she would have had to really ride through a lot of death threats and a lot of bad comments. But there's people who are infamous and there's people who continue to post through it that all they get are hate comments and people.
00:54:59
Speaker
That's still engagement, but she only wanted to do it if she was going to but be received positively. And that's also understandable, but I just mean, i don't know. I don't know what my point with that is, except that she realized that her image was changed now, and this is not the image that she wants online, and it's hard to deal with scrutiny.
00:55:23
Speaker
So she's left her channel, and it doesn't exist anymore. Yeah. what
00:55:31
Speaker
Yeah, no, I don't know. i think it's, don't know. I don't think even, i don't think there's anything she could, I think she was done. I don't think there was any way for her. and mean, maybe in like a couple of years she could try to come back, but I can't see the internet allowing her to still be the same type of content.
00:55:56
Speaker
Particularly with how hard she had to pack. Well, she could have produced the content, but she just wouldn't have able to monetize the content. True. Yeah. I guess that's a better way to put it. Because Fabletics doesn't want to engage with her, and neither does any of these laundry detergent and none of those brands.
00:56:12
Speaker
But she could have still posted, like, if she still had a perspective that she wanted to share, she definitely could. And if she wanted to post through her whole journey of rehoming her child, like she could have done that. But I think that she knows that it would have been made her look even worse. Right.
00:56:33
Speaker
If she had nothing to hide, there would be nothing to hide. But there's stuff to hide here because it's a series of bad decisions have led us to this point. And they probably should not have adopted in the first place. They clearly were not prepared for the complexities of the situation. But i think a lot of people get into situations and underestimate how difficult they're going to be yeah until you're truly living the reality of it. And it's very hard when you're doing it publicly to take something back.
00:56:59
Speaker
That's what I think. I think you're right. I think she did it. fully understand what she was doing don't think I think it was a rash decision and I see where some people's perspective if they did it for the views comes from um but I mean we'll never truly know it's all gonna be speculation at this point because again they won't comment on it right And I'm glad that they didn't...
Documentary's Approach to Privacy and Future Speculations
00:57:27
Speaker
It would have been more interesting as a viewer to see the original videos with Huxley in them. They kind of did a weird like scribbled over picture of him in all the videos.
00:57:37
Speaker
Yeah. um And they also didn't show us him in his new life. They did allude to his new life, saying that he was happy with his new adopted mother. And I really hope that that is true and that that child has peace and safety for the rest of his life.
00:57:53
Speaker
But... it It feels unfinished. It feels like we don't know, which it's not our right to know. But just for the purposes of a documentary, it left me a little lacking.
00:58:05
Speaker
I agree. i do think if i like if I was the new adoptive mother, I also be like, no, he's not. He has been monetized enough. He's absolutely not participating. Oh, absolutely. So like i i see why he wasn't um i do wish i also see why the stoppers didn't want to be in it right of course they've got nothing good to say some kind of little like tidbit of like adoptive mother was contacted hugsley is doing okay that i think would have gave that closure you're looking for but from his perspective and to actually give him privacy which he never had
00:58:47
Speaker
to actually follow through that statement not having him in here was the only option Absolutely. Because if they showed his new family, also he would become recognizable again. Yeah. um Because he was famous online, but the beauty of being a child is that you're going to grow and you're going to change and you're not going to look exactly the same forever.
00:59:10
Speaker
So if he's living in a new place with new people and he's growing and aging and he's changing, he's not going to be recognizable, especially if he's not Huxley anymore, which... I don't know if he is or not, but I just feel like that's a weird, terrible name anyway.
00:59:29
Speaker
We could call him Hawks or we could call him Lee. Yeah, that's just his name. That's just his name. You call me Mon you call me Ica. You know what mean? You call me crazy. going to call you Ica from now on. Yeah.
00:59:45
Speaker
I mean, it's a cool nickname for my name. silly the whole thing was silly and they they were very romantic and naive about it and i feel like that happens more than people want to admit but if you're not dealing with something in the spotlight you also have more room and more time to figure things out without the scrutiny of the internet and i think in their situation having to appear perfect all the time just made it even more difficult for him to adjust and for them to adjust to him
01:00:18
Speaker
Yeah, no, I agree.
01:00:22
Speaker
feel terrible for him, but I'm, don't know. Hopefully he's in a better spot and is with great people now. Yeah, I hope so. i think he deserves the world.
01:00:39
Speaker
And I hope he's with someone who is willing to take the time to address the needs that he does have. um Assuming that's all true.
01:00:50
Speaker
Because we don't know. True. Yeah. yeah But it is a it was a weird one. And I think this documentary really showed how quickly the Internet can turn on you if you give too much of your life.
01:01:04
Speaker
I think you do need to have that boundary. Excuse me, boundary. where if you look at certain celebrities, when people do interviews about like their friends of family, they're like, oh, they're a completely different person around us.
01:01:19
Speaker
And I think that's the... You have to have a character to the world, and it's really hard it being your real self. And I think this is just the normal person version of that.
01:01:34
Speaker
Yes. And there's a price to pay four exposing yourself online this way
01:01:44
Speaker
and that's that's something that they found out the hard way for sure and i think that a lot of people experience this and then have to take a step back this is just an extreme extreme version but for us i feel like this was kind of not light because it is an extremely sad topic but it's different than there's no murder there's no trial there's no actual There's nobody getting arrested. There's no crimes, essentially.
01:02:12
Speaker
i mean, as far as presented to us, there's not really a crime. It's more of a moral situation and certainly a family dynamic. And there's a lot of complexities with international adoption. And I thought it was really interesting. And she's certainly an infamous mom.
01:02:31
Speaker
um yes but i don't know if they should have been held criminally responsible in any way like i i don't know some people were saying that they should have been charged for neglect abandonment you know child abuse i think maybe the duct tape you could say was child abuse but at that point he was already not in their custody so i'm not sure i guess you could be i don't know if that's actually illegal just duct taping someone's hands it's it's not very easy to say well the guard was underneath it and it was broken and that's how we got it to stay on like it's very there's no proof of it like it'd be very easy to talk out of so i agree i don't think there's any criminal i just think it's bad morals bad people poor judgment right i think that's more of the poor judgment
01:03:22
Speaker
naivete lack of education ah self delusion of grandeur like we'll just be all a child needs is love and we'll be able to handle any situation even though we've never cared for a disabled child in our life and we don't speak chinese and we don't understand the intricacies of adoption and autism and all of these possible symptoms and problems that he's going to have and attachment issues and it just doesn't seem they went into it with very rose colored glasses for sure yeah i i completely agree 100 well i enjoyed it and i'm glad that we got a chance to chit chat about it do you have final thoughts no that was everything i think uh it was definitely different i think you're right and it'll be interesting if things come out later on about it
01:04:16
Speaker
oh yeah wonder I wonder if she'll ever try again do something like this. Yeah, I don't know. Probably not. I guess we'll find out, won't we?
01:04:26
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I'm not going to be watching James' channel. That's for sure. Oh, God, no. Not really my vibe. All right. Well, im definitely not. Definitely not. all right. Well, until our next mother. and Until the next one.
01:04:43
Speaker
Bye. Bye.