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Be Nice: Road House vs. Tango & Cash
147 Plays1 year ago
In honor of the Road House remake, Rock & Rob take a trip back to 1989 to battle two movies that are peak 80’s cinema – Road House (1989) and Tango & Cash (1989). Find out which movie they think rises to the rank of ‘cooler’ while the other gets ‘bounced’ as they get put through seven rounds of questions such as better cast, bigger plot holes and which movie is more fun. Along the way they discuss the important things like Stallone’s body shaming habit, the famous throat rip and…Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec?!?!
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Transcript
Introduction and Iconic Movie Quotes
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. I don't want your life. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. Okay, a simple wrong would have done
Meet the Hosts and Podcast Theme
00:00:25
Speaker
just fine.
00:00:25
Speaker
Welcome to the movie showdown with Rock and Rob. My name is Rob Mansfield. And with me, he only has one rule for this podcast. Be nice. It's Alex Rockline. You know, that's my rule. My rule in life. Be nice. You are a very nice person, Alex. I feel like that's why we complimented each other well, because I am not so nice.
Were the 80s the Most Fun Era for Movies?
00:00:46
Speaker
Everything going well? I had some internet issues, Rob, but I'm here. Good. You're overcoming life's obstacles, congrats. That is today's dilemma. So the rock question of the week. Were the 80s the most fun time for movies? Yes. I don't know even if I have to expand on this answer, but yes. 89 is like the apex. It like built to this.
00:01:06
Speaker
You get all the criteria of what makes the 80s movies so great. We've done a bunch already on the podcast. All of them have been just tremendous fun, never let up. No. The 80s, it was so full of possibility because we hadn't quite ventured into the IP era yet. There was a few franchises and things, but it was a lot of original movies. So you take that, you mix it in with some really great creative premises, maybe spurred on by illegal drug use,
00:01:35
Speaker
And then you have some actors and actresses just at the prime peak of their existence. You really get some fun, awesome, rewatchable movies when you look back on it. Yeah, there were a lot of movie stars that were just at the top and in their prime during the 80s, which makes it a lot of fun. Oh, yeah.
Movie Showdown: Roadhouse vs. Tango & Cash
00:01:52
Speaker
Well, in honor of the remake of the 1989 classic Roadhouse coming out tomorrow, Rock and I wanted to take the original Roadhouse and see if it holds up. And wow, it did not disappoint. But we had to find the right movie to match it up against. We really went back and forth on this a lot, but ultimately decided on a movie I think can hold its own and is just as classic. So these two movies are tied together for a number of reasons.
00:02:16
Speaker
One, both of them were released in 1989. Two, both these movies have amazing premises. Three, both these movies are the epitome of 80s movies with the clothing and the hairstyles, the music, the gratuitous unnecessary boob shots. And the star of Roadhouse was actually supposed to star in the other movie, but backed out.
00:02:37
Speaker
So this week we will have Roadhouse versus Tango and Cash. What a matchup. Alex, tell us about the movie you're repping this week. This week I will be representing Roadhouse. Quick summary, the best cooler, which is actually the head bouncer, cleans up a bar in a corrupt small town and then turns into Batman to save the town from a deranged rich guy.
00:02:58
Speaker
This movie was released May 19th, 1989, directed by Rowdy Harrington. Which may be the perfect first name for a director to have directing a movie like Roadhouse. I am just going under the assumption that's his given name at birth. Not a nickname, so we'll just leave it at that. We won't look it up. We're good there.
00:03:17
Speaker
Uh, this was written by David Lee Henry and Hillary Henkin. Roadhouse set a budget of $15 million. Box office brought in $61.6 million. Rotten tomato score of 41% and the Google audience score of 81%. Nice.
00:03:32
Speaker
So as we know, Roadhouse stars Patrick Swayze. Crazy for Swayze. At the time, he was a megastar. He starred in Dirty Dancing in 1987, which made $214 million. Wow. Obviously a little bit of a disappointment with the box office numbers from Roadhouse. As we mentioned, only 61.6%.
00:03:51
Speaker
million dollars. It was marketed lighter and more comedic for Dirty Dancing fans. Even the original tagline for the film references Dirty Dancing. This is the tagline, the dancing's over, now it gets dirty. I could see if you were expecting a Dirty Dancing type movie and then you go and see Roadhouse, you would be quite shocked. Yeah. As this movie has aged though, and you watch it
00:04:12
Speaker
It is hilarious whether intentionally or unintentionally. This film is an absolute cult classic. Growing up, it was on TV all the time. It's one of my dad's favorite movies. It's estimated to have made about $200 million in VHS and DVD sales on top of its box office. So I mean, it's special. And I almost wonder if in the streaming era, we're missing things like
Impact of Streaming on Cult Classics
00:04:36
Speaker
this.
00:04:36
Speaker
Mm hmm. You know, in the 80s, the movie like this would come out in theaters and then it would be replaying on cable. Now they'd probably just I mean, they're going to the remake is being released straight to streaming. Mm hmm. And so streaming movies come out. Maybe you watch it. Maybe you don't. But it's not like you're flipping through channels and it's back on. It just gets buried in the library if it's not popular. So I really feel like we're just losing this cult movie status that we used to have growing up. And that's it.
Inside Tango & Cash Production
00:05:03
Speaker
Yeah, it is really different now. Yeah.
00:05:04
Speaker
Well, this week I will be representing Tango and Cash. This star, Sylvester Stallone, a favorite of ours and Kurt Russell. Initially, Patrick Swayze was supposed to co-star with Stallone in Tango and Cash. However, he hurt his knee during the filming of Roadhouse and chose to make Ghost instead. I think that worked out pretty well.
00:05:25
Speaker
The summary of Tango and Cash is two rival cops get framed for murder by a dude who is obsessed with rats. Literally, that's the summary. I don't really know any other way to put it. Released on December 22nd, 1989. Directed by four different people. We've got Andre Konchilovsky, who started to direct this movie, but was fired after about three months of filming.
00:05:48
Speaker
Then Peter McDonald, who was the second unit director, stepped in for a little, as did Sylvester Stallone. And then finally, Albert Magnolia was hired as the new director to finish the movie. I don't know if I've ever heard of a movie having four directors. Yeah, that sounds like football teams going through a lot of quarterbacks and just can't find the right guy.
00:06:06
Speaker
You watch this movie and while it's great and hilarious, there are moments where it does feel like it was tonally different. Mm hmm. Definitely. One of the directors wanted it to be more light and comedic. I know another director in Stallone wanted it to be a little bit more serious and they brought it in editor to come in and completely throw it together. So a lot of behind the scenes issues at work in this movie. So with all that being said, we still got a banger.
00:06:33
Speaker
Yeah, it could be a little disjointed, but I will say like the comedic parts were funny and the serious parts were really well done. Yeah. Like what kind of movie is this supposed to be? But it makes sense when there's four different people kind of putting their stamp on it. Stallone had just done Cobra a couple of years before this. We didn't need a serious police drama. I kind of liked the fact that it was more comedic.
00:06:53
Speaker
Yeah, it almost reminds me of the other guys. Yeah, the two cops who are, you know, the the buddy cop, they're very different. They team up. They're a good team, you know, that kind of thing. I mean, that's just like purely comedy. Yeah, that's a good comparison in terms of like the dialect.
Stallone's Dedication to His Craft
00:07:08
Speaker
Yeah. And I think this movie, I think it could have worked either way if they were like, all right, let's push the comedy and kind of scale back on like some of the seriousness or the other way around. You know, I think it could have worked.
00:07:17
Speaker
Tango and Cash was written by Randy Feldman and also Jeffrey Bohm, who worked on two of the Lethal Weapon scripts and did a rewrite for Tango and Cash, but didn't like it and refused to be credited. So that's interesting. It had a budget of $54 million, which was $20 million over what they initially wanted. And obviously all the director changes impacted that. And Stallone actually had the initial director of photography fired because he didn't like how he was being lit, which only Stallone could do.
00:07:47
Speaker
I do appreciate Stallone and his dedication to the movie season. Yes. People might think of him as like, oh, he's just like this macho, like action guy. But as we've done on so many of his movies, like he puts so much into it behind the scenes. He cares. He really cares. He is now taken over the top spot of stars in movies that we've covered on this show. Yes, he has. This is the fourth movie that we have covered on this show where Stallone was the star. So congrats,
The Roadhouse Remake
00:08:13
Speaker
Sly. You are our top dog right now. We love you.
00:08:15
Speaker
box office of $120.4 million. So not terrible. Rotten Tomatoes score of 31% and a Google audience score of 85%. Now, Rock, you know this, but our audience does it. We do not get paid for publicizing the Roadhouse remake. If anybody wants to pay us to publicize anything, we will gladly take it. But I am weirdly excited for it.
00:08:36
Speaker
They've been talking about it since 2013 and originally it was going to star Ronda Rousey, so kind of like a gender swapping remake. And our boy from the notebook, Nick Cassavetes, was originally going to direct, but it was put on hold, rumor is, because Ronda Rousey started losing in her MMA mashes and wasn't.
00:08:53
Speaker
So then the whole script got reworked. Jake Gyllenhaal got cast. He set the star as Dalton and is directed by Doug Lyman, who did Edge of Tomorrow and The Bourne Identity, which are both awesome movies. So I really hope this doesn't disappoint. I can't wait to watch the remake. But in honor of the Roadhouse remake coming out, I thought we would do a quick draft remakes. OK. We'll each do four. I'll let you go first this time.
00:09:16
Speaker
All right, great. So quick draft, movie remakes, ready, go. Ocean's 11, one of the best heist movies. Gone in 60 seconds. We love our Nick Cage. And then I'm gonna hit you back with a heist movie, and I'm gonna say the Italian job. Great movie. Well, Mini Cooper's phenomenal. I'm gonna go Mission Impossible. It's a remake of a TV show, but it started an amazing franchise.
Favorite Movie Remakes Draft
00:09:38
Speaker
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
00:09:41
Speaker
And then I will follow that up with Casino Royale, kind of reset the Bond movies. Fantastic film. Nice. All right. I am going to go Angels in the Outfield for my next one. It's a remake. It's a remake. I think it's a 1951 movie with the same name. I love it. Christopher Lloyd is the angel named Al and he's got the AL umpire hat and he flips it around and goes, call me out. I love that line. That's why I picked this movie.
00:10:05
Speaker
And then, okay, for my last pick, I am going to take, this is a dedication pick. I'm gonna take Poseidon, which is a remake of The Poseidon Adventure, which is Bob, my stepdad's favorite movie of all time. Oh, shout out, Bob. Shout out to Bob. I know he listens through my mom. Nice. I've seen that movie so many, the original so many times. Then I'm gonna take the remake with this draft. I am going to go with another remake movie from a TV show, 21 Jump Street, Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum. That movie's hilarious.
00:10:34
Speaker
Alright Alex, you ready to jump into this? I'm ready.
Dalton's Influence in Roadhouse
00:10:37
Speaker
Let's do it. Round one, best cast.
00:10:41
Speaker
So as we talked about Roadhouse Stars, the one and only Patrick Swayze, he is Dalton. He is the best cooler in the business. And I don't know about you, but I did not know the term cooler. Is it a real term? I don't know. It makes sense though. So he's like the head bouncer. So his job is to cool things down. Yeah. And he oversees the rest of the staff, kind of gives them like some guidance. Like, okay, like this dude, you got to do something with, like get her off the table, you know, that kind of stuff. Like he kind of runs the show.
00:11:08
Speaker
I don't really have many interactions with bouncers, but one time for Krista's birthday, I did consume a little too much and we were at this bar in Boston and we were in the basement of the bar. There's like two floors. Was I with you? I think you were. Yeah, I was with you. It was West End Johnny's. Yes. Yes. In Boston.
00:11:25
Speaker
And so we were in the basement area and they had all these exposed pipes hanging. I remember the pipes. And you could grab them if you were tall enough. I was not thinking. And just started hanging on them and swinging and spinning. And the bouncer came over and was like, hey, you need to stop doing that. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely, whatever you say. And then literally like 30 seconds later, started hanging on them again. And he came back over and he was like, seriously, if you do this again, you are done.
00:11:55
Speaker
I remember this and I remember the guy, I remember this clearly, this is the funniest thing. I mean those pipes were like, they wanted to be hung on. Let's be real. They wanted to be hung on! They were right there. I mean they were sturdy. That was also the same night that I tried to fight somebody by winding up my arm like it was a cartoon.
00:12:09
Speaker
I think it was like you and a couple other people were just like, you need to calm down, man. Did we watch Roadhouse before we went out or something? Yeah, seriously. Anyway, all right, continue. So Dalton, he's cool. He's what we would brand a B period, A period. Like he's the man. Yes. He gets stabbed. He stitches himself up. He sleeps naked. Doesn't work boxers.
00:12:29
Speaker
He has a philosophy degree from NYU. He does like Tai Chi in The Warning, so his like martial arts skills are elite. He goes by one name, just drinks coffee. Letted or unleaded. Yeah, so cool. Like, is he like the coolest? He's arguably up there as a top five coolest movie characters. And like even his line, like he's got some really cool lines. Nobody ever wins a five. Do you enjoy pain?
00:12:55
Speaker
Pain don't hurt. Whatever that means. Whatever that means. It's just cool. It's like, yeah, pain does hurt. That's the definition of pain. That's like something that hurts. Yeah. The thing that always comes back like, oh, I thought you'd be bigger. Also, he has his medical records with him and he takes them to the doctor when he gets stabbed again. Saves time. And you can see, okay. So you can see in the paperwork, his name, his first name is actually James. So his name is not Dalton, it's James Dalton. Dalton's cooler. Dalton's cooler. We're going to forget about that.
00:13:22
Speaker
we will yeah you can see some of his previous injuries so two gunshot wounds four stainless steel screws he has nine knife wounds and 31 broken bones that's unbelievable and he just looks great just keeps on keeping on he doesn't walk with a limp he seems fine yeah i'm just going right back to where i can have another fight there's multiple times in this movie where he gets beat up very badly and then the next scene he is just perfectly fine
00:13:47
Speaker
No bruising, no sore muscles. He goes against the tires, puts them in his trunk, knows he's gonna get his tires slashed and just changes them right now. I was so confused, I was like, wait, what is he? So I've seen this movie a bunch before, and when he's going to get the tires, I completely forgot what he was getting them for. And then as soon as he walks out of the bar, I love the knives and the tire. I'm like, oh yeah, the tires, it's so good. And he just plays it so cool about it, you know.
00:14:09
Speaker
Yeah, this is Patrick Swayze at his peak. It cannot be understated how famous he was at this point in his career, which also caused a lot of problems when they filmed women would try to come to his trailer and fans would come by. Well, like on the the fight scene by the river fans would sail by and try to get a glimpse of Swayze. Oh, wow. And even one of the extras who's playing a waitress too busy watching him is not paying attention trips, spills or drinks on someone else. So he had quite the influence over everybody. He was huge. We sometimes do some math on the show.
00:14:39
Speaker
Yeah, we do a little math. When he is at his previous place of employment, he gets offered this job. So he wants 500 per night. So multiply that 500 per night. If he worked every single day in the year, we're up to $182,500. He gets a $5,000 upfront fee, signing bonus. So in 2022, we do a little inflation adjustment. All this money equals up to $450,167.84. Wow.
00:15:08
Speaker
Plus he gets the free medical expenses. So he's not paying insurance. That's a lot of money. Now, obviously he's not working 365 days a year, but even if you half that $225,000 and medical for that, I mean, that's a lot. That's a pretty, pretty sweet deal. Interesting. All right. So along with Patrick Swayze, we actually do have some other people in this film. Kelly Lynch plays Dr. Elizabeth Doc Clay. She is the
00:15:30
Speaker
Love interest. Annette Bedding actually was originally cast to play Elizabeth Clay. She was replaced by Kelly Lynch because she and Patrick Swayze did not have chemistry on screen. And then Kelly Lynch spent a month in an emergency room preparing for her role.
00:15:46
Speaker
which seems like overkill because all she really did was look at his medical records and then look at some x-rays in a different scene. But hey, yeah, I appreciate it. I do. I appreciate it. Then we also have Ben Gazara. He plays Brad Wesley. He's the evil rich guy who runs the town of Jasper, Missouri. Really good guy to hate. But his intro when he's just like swerving all around the road for no reason or not care. Just because you know, then you
00:16:12
Speaker
would also be hurt if you got in a car accident. He just thinks he's like untouchable. Yeah. Yeah. His character is interesting. He clearly has feelings for Elizabeth Clay, but we don't really know like the nature of their relationship. We knew that she was married at some point. Was it to him? Yeah, I don't know. They don't say and they say she left town for a little bit, but they also allude to Wesley really being into her. I feel like there's a deleted scene somewhere in there, but the age difference between those two
00:16:40
Speaker
Obviously, if you're a guy like Wesley, who thinks he runs the town, you don't care about that. But she's 29 years younger than him. Yeah. Right. Right. That's a lot. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl that would be in it just for like the money. No. Yeah. Very interesting. You know, there's a lot of tension
Characters and Comedy in Tango & Cash
00:16:53
Speaker
there. Yeah. And then we have a young Sam Elliott. He plays Wade Garrett in the most shocking scene in this movie. You realize that Sam Elliott also doesn't wear boxers underneath his jeans. At one point, we get shown his full bush. No, I don't think I needed that.
00:17:09
Speaker
No, he likes his air. Yeah. And then we also have Marshall Teague who plays Jimmy. Marshall in real life has multiple black belts. He's great in this when keep alluding to him being a good fighter, but you don't really see anything. And then in that first time where you see him in action with the pool cue and he's literally like swinging it around like it's a bo staff like he's Donatello. And then he plants it into the guy that he knocks out and does like a 360 flip onto the table. He's really good.
00:17:39
Speaker
Also, I just want to point out we have pro wrestler Terry Funk is in this movie. He's the fired bouncer from the double deuce, but he also had a good part in over the top. That's right. He did have a good part in over the top. The only other guy I wanted to mention is Kevin Ty. He plays Tillman. So he's the guy that recruits Patrick Swayze to come to the double deuce. The first scene where, you know, they just kind of follow him around the bar and he's got looking for
00:18:05
Speaker
Dalton this guy. I know this guy. I know this guy looked at his IMDB page He is in lost for a bunch of episodes and that's where I knew him from I watched lost but I could not have told you that he was in it I've watched it through a few times like the second I saw he was in lost like oh, yeah, that's right I probably never would have made that connection. He just has one of those faces, you know, like he's in everything you've seen him around and
00:18:25
Speaker
Well, cool. So in Tango and Cash, we have Sylvester Stallone as Ray Tango. He is the top cop from the west side of the town. Listen to any of our Stallone episodes for some more info on him. This is a very different type of character for Stallone. I kind of like his rich cop character and the glasses he wears in this earlier in the film are actually his own. He usually wears contacts in his movies, but those are his real glasses. He looked good in them.
00:18:50
Speaker
A lot of good one-liners in this movie, probably not as iconic as the one-liners in Cobra, but still some really great one-liners. Definitely. Then we have Kurt Russell as Gabriel Cash. He is the top cop from the East side. Russell has had a really good career. But Alex, did you know he was a professional baseball player in the Angels organization? I did not know that. Yeah. Made it up to AA until a rotator cuff injury forced him to retire. He was turning to double play. Someone collided with him.
00:19:19
Speaker
He is also the father of actor Wyatt Russell and stepfather of another fave of ours, Kate Hudson. He's married to Goldie Hawn, Kate Hudson's mom. We said earlier Swayze was initially up for this part, and I'm sure if Stallone had it the way he wanted written, it would have been great for Swayze, a little bit more serious, but I don't think Swayze is smart-allicky enough to have pulled off this role.
00:19:40
Speaker
Yeah, I see what you mean. Swayze brings a level of seriousness. Yeah. This character definitely had more of a goofy, funny side to him. And honestly, I think that's what made the movie. I loved Kurt Russell in this movie. He had some great just like retorts. Yeah. But yeah, he was like cocky, snarky. Yeah, he was good.
00:19:57
Speaker
We have Jack Polance as Yves Perret. He's a pretty lame bad guy. He's like the head bad guy in this movie. Like I mentioned earlier, he's obsessed with rats, which is really weird. Apparently Polance came up with the idea for this during a visit to the LA petting zoo. He turned up for the read through with two rats in a briefcase. Nobody liked the idea, but he had already built the rat maze table thing.
00:20:21
Speaker
at his own expense, so the people making the movie were just like, all right, I guess we'll keep it. If you get a rat maze guy, then you're not one to be messed with, I think. Yeah, everything. But the rat thing was very similar to the bad guy and gone in 60 seconds with the woodworking. You know how he was just like a random woodworker? It had no impact on the plot. And they never explained it either. No. So he's the bad guy. He really doesn't do anything. Yeah, he had a cool like layer. Yeah, I guess. I guess that was cool, but it wasn't like.
00:20:49
Speaker
I would kind of say that Brian James, he plays Ponytail Guy. I think his name is Requin. I would say he's like the real bad guy. He does the most. When James was originally hired to play Requin, it was a very small role with only two lines. In an effort to give the character something that would make him stand out, James decided to speak in that Cockney accent that he uses. Sly loved it. He rewrote the script to give him a much bigger role. I love it.
00:21:14
Speaker
Then we have Terry Hatcher as Catherine Kiki Tango. That's Ray Tango's sister. What do you got? Any connections here? Tango and Cash was essentially a feeder for Seinfeld. Most of the actors who were in Tango and Cash and appeared in Seinfeld. James Hong, so he plays Quan. He is the owner of the Chinese restaurant in the famous Chinese restaurant episode.
00:21:35
Speaker
Terry Hatcher, of course. She plays Sidra in Seinfeld and Tango Sister in the movie. You have Louis Arquette, who plays Wyler in Tango and Cash. And he appears as a character named Leapin' Larry in an episode. You have Roy Brocksmith, who is Federal Agent Davis in the movie. And he plays the Landlord in Seinfeld.
00:21:53
Speaker
Richard Fancy plays Nolan, who I believe is the lawyer for Tango. He is Mr. Litman, so Elaine's boss in Seinfeld. David Bird, who plays the judge, appears very minor role as a pharmacist in Seinfeld. But the biggest one of all is Clint Howard. Okay, so Clint Howard plays Tango's cellmate. He's credited in the movie as his name is Slinky. Yeah. They first meet and they're chatting and he's got the Slinky and he's got all those pictures on the wall and he's got a newspaper article and he's like,
00:22:20
Speaker
You see this and it just says like body found in Park. He's like I killed him We're gonna pause we're gonna go to Clint Howard when he appears on Seinfeld So season 3 ends with Kramer moving to Los Angeles where tango and cash takes place So Jerry is gonna be on the tonight show in LA so he brings George with him Jerry's filming
00:22:35
Speaker
and they're about to leave and the TV comes on talking about a murderer who is on the loose named the Smaug Strangler and they show Kramer's
Seinfeld and Tango & Cash Theory
00:22:43
Speaker
picture. Jerry and George are like, well, that's not true. So they call the police, they get in the cruiser, while they're on the way, they see someone who is breaking into a car. They arrest the guy, so Clint Howard. Now they have three in the back.
00:22:53
Speaker
George, Jerry and Clint Howard's character and they're going to the police station, but the police get a call and they say the smog strangler has struck again. So George and Jerry, when they get to the scene, they get out of the car, but he doesn't close it all the way. So Clint Howard's character escapes and he's on the loose now. Later we
00:23:08
Speaker
come to find out that he's the smog strangler all along. Flashing back to Tango and Cash takes place in Los Angeles. Most of the bodies in Seinfeld are found in parks. And do you remember when Tango is annoyed with him and he restrains him? He ties him up, he strangles him up with the slinky.
00:23:25
Speaker
I think it's the same guy. So Tango and Kes is in the same universe as Seinfeld and that the cellmate was released on Good Behavior or whatever in 1990 and then went on a killing spree in Los Angeles. And I think he got the idea to use the slinky strangle. Wow. I like it. That's a good theory. Awesome. All right. Who are we going with here? I feel like it's essentially Patrick Swayze verse, Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell.
00:23:48
Speaker
Let's say you match up Swayze and Stallone just for fun. I think Kurt Russell may be the tiebreaker in this. And just like you think about the rest of the cast, even in Tango and Cash, like it's pretty loaded. I don't know. For me, Kurt Russell just kind of like moves the needle a little bit. I mean, you get two powerhouse stars versus one powerhouse star. I lean Tango and Cash here. Patrick Swayze was massive at the time, but this is Stallone peak eighties. Yeah. We're going Tango and Cash for round one. Heading into round two, best moments.
00:24:19
Speaker
It's hard to pick just a few moments from it. It's loaded. We could spend an hour just talking about every scene. But I mean, just the opening, we open at the bandstand, which is, you know, pretty nice, like well put together place and cut to double deuce. And it's like, good golly. This place is gross. So gross. The fence around the band, because they're constantly getting melted with drinks or whatever.
00:24:41
Speaker
I mean, how much broken glass is in this place? It's a hazard. Are there really bars like that? There must be. I know. It's like I would never even want to go. Like you don't go there to just grab a beer. You go there for this. Like, yeah, I feel like breaking some glass tonight. Let's go to the double dues. This is our first instance of no police ever being called. No attempted murder charges. Right. Right. People are getting bottles smashed over their heads and they're fine. Like I know we're in a small town. I get it. But something's got to be done with the double dues here.
00:25:08
Speaker
I do want to mention in the intro scene it has one of the weirdest funniest lines I've ever heard and that's when the one guy says to the girl,
00:25:24
Speaker
I didn't understand that. I was like, okay, what a line. Another great scene. So Swayze, he's now the guy, he's the cooler. He's taken over the double deuce and immediately let you, you, you're out. Fires two people. And then his speech about the rules of being a bouncer. All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary.
00:25:54
Speaker
Which you can see in the first scene at a bandstand. Yeah. And he's like, all right, meet me outside. And then the guys are outside and then he just walks away. I'm like, that's so cool. And then number three, the most important. Be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If you won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you. And you'll both be nice. No wonder somebody calls my mama a whore. Is she?
00:26:22
Speaker
I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice. How are we supposed to know when that is? I'll let you know. You are the bouncers. I am the cooler. All you have to do is watch my back and each other's and take out the trash.
00:26:37
Speaker
such a good part it just sets the tone because we know who this guy is but we don't know exactly how he operates and then he just comes in there with authority lays it out there and he's like we're gonna change some things this is what it is my way or the height like it's awesome no none
00:26:52
Speaker
Yeah, we see how he
Wade Garrett's Arrival and Mentorship
00:26:53
Speaker
operates. We've heard he's the best. He's just like, this is how it is. He commands the room. Yeah, he's just got it going. He is the epitome of a cooler. Oh, yeah. This is the guy you want. Another great scene is when Sam Elliott's character, Wade Garrett, shows up. Dalton is getting beat up. And he's definitely outnumbered, but Sam Elliott comes to the rescue. And we met him a little bit. He even placed a phone call to him, his mentor, the guy that he's been through it with. But he knows him so well that he's like, something's up. So I'm going to go down there. I'm going to see what's going on.
00:27:21
Speaker
And he, you know, he arrives right in time. It is a little unrealistic that Sam Elliott would be able to fight as good as he is. Patrick Swayze is not a big guy, but he's pretty ripped. Sam Elliott is a very thin man, but he knows how to fight. He handles those guys. It's a good introduction to him.
00:27:37
Speaker
then you get to see kind of the relationship he has with Dalton, which is cool. Their chemistry is great. Yeah. Getting into another fight scene, I think, I don't know, might be the best of all the fight scenes. There's a lot to choose from. They're all really good. Like, they're good fight scenes. I think we talked about this with car chases. It's like, do you like a car chase? It's like, do you like a fight scene? I do if it's well done. I think there's like nine fight scenes in this movie. Even up until the end, there's a fight scene and you're never sick of them, which I think is hard to do. Yeah. Like if there were nine car chase scenes in the movie, I'd be like, all right, come on, like.
00:28:07
Speaker
We get it. But the best fight scene. The best one is the Dalton Jimmy showdown on the beach.
Dalton's Iconic Showdown
00:28:13
Speaker
I really can't watch this scene anymore without laughing, thinking about Andy Dwyer's reenactment of it, which is spot on. He nails it. Check out our Instagram for a side by side breakdown. Got to see it. Of that explanation because it is so spot on. But that fight in general is so good. It's really impressive. Yeah, everything about it. It's not too long either, which I like.
00:28:35
Speaker
This is where we get one of the best lines in movie history. And that's when Marshall Teague, Jimmy says to Dalton, I used to F guys like you in prison, which we don't have enough time on this podcast to break down the intricacies of what he meant by that. It's such a good bad guy line. You read it afterwards. You're like, I don't know. But like in the moment, you're like, oh, man, like I don't want to mess with this guy. This guy is insane. Yeah. You know, this is where we see the the infamous throat pull out. It's got it all.
00:29:08
Speaker
Not the instant death. It's not that it's so good. Yeah. So Teague actually tells a story that when he delivers that line the first time he was in a theater with his mom watching this movie, she jumped up and shouted, that's my boy. That's great. She was fired up for it. I don't know if my mom would be that happy about hearing me say something like that, but no good for Marshall T. I'd be proud of him for his role. Like he didn't. He was so great. Yeah. You didn't really know much about him, but like, you know, you didn't like him, but you are kind of scared of him, too. You're like, what is this guy up to? Yeah.
00:29:28
Speaker
As Andy Dwyer says, you can't eat, starve to death.
00:29:36
Speaker
And then the last scene, the final showdown, Patrick Swayze's car comes barreling in. They're all like, oh, we got him. But he had just stabbed the knife through it. So it's on his own and he's sneaking around like one by one killing everyone. You got the polar bear falling on the one dude and he does like the over exaggerated teeth chapter like.
00:29:54
Speaker
Tinker was his name, I think. He had so much time to just step aside. He did. But he stood there like, ah. Yeah. It was a great shot of him. You know, the end, everyone kind of comes in and gets a shot in there. The cops finally come and they're like, yeah, I didn't see anything. Love it. Dalton's finally fighting Wesley. He's about to do the throat rip move. And then all of a sudden decides, you know what? I've only killed like nine people today. That's my life. That's my max. Yeah. And so he lets him live.
00:30:22
Speaker
Dude just killed your best friend. You're not letting him live. No. Especially after you already just murdered other people. Yeah. I know he was trying to show he was better than him and better, you know, because of what Doc had said to him in the movie. But like, come on, he's ending that right there.
00:30:37
Speaker
He lets him go, Wesley's about to shoot him or something, and then all the people that Wesley terrorized the business owners are standing there with shotguns, and they each get a blast off on him. And it takes four shotgun blasts to knock him down at like 10 feet away. One should have gotten the job done. Yeah, one, he's flying backwards and not moving. He takes three, the fourth one finally knocks him down.
00:30:59
Speaker
And then, yeah, finally, the police officer show up after being non-existent the entire time. Just, oh, yeah, yeah. Sheriff, strolls in. Wesley owns the police. Does he own all the police in all the world? Right. And everyone says, like, I didn't see nothing, but I don't know if that's a good defense. I think you're still going to be questioned. There's plenty of evidence around, but I think even the police were like, all right. Yeah, me neither. We'll leave it. That's a good scene, though. Great way to end the big climax. Yeah.
00:31:21
Speaker
So some of the best moments in Tango and Cash.
Tango & Cash Prison Escape
00:31:24
Speaker
The opening scene is great, but insane. Sloan's tracking this 18-wheeler, gets in front of it, pulls up ahead, turns his car sideways in the middle of the road, and starts just shooting at the glass. And he doesn't hit any of the people in it. He's just trying to scare them. He's trying to get them to stop. And they do stop, and then they fly out the windshields like, fine, whatever. However, if he actually had hit the driver, and the driver wouldn't be able to stop, he dies.
00:31:48
Speaker
Yeah. Movie over. Wouldn't the driver would have had to stop and like put it in park? Yeah. In real life, that truck is not stopping. It's destroying him in his car. Yeah. End credits. Yeah. The bad guy says to him like, F you. And he's like, I prefer blondes. It's such a stallone. I love it. I love it. The other cops come, they find drugs in the vehicle and the one police officer says to him. He thinks he's Rambo.
00:32:12
Speaker
Rambo is a blubber. I love it. It is a great line because obviously Sylvester Stallone is Rambo. He is Rambo. But then it just turns into we've got the bad guy in the limo and he has the most ridiculous line in a movie filled with ridiculous lines. And that's when he's like, it's tango. It's cash. It's tango. It's cash. Cash.
00:32:36
Speaker
And I'm like, what are you talking about, dude? You're a psycho. But not in like the good bad guy psycho. Where are my rats? The entirety of the jail sequence is amazing from start to finish. They're framed for murder. They go to court. They make a plea deal because they see they're not getting out of this.
00:32:54
Speaker
They're supposed to go to minimum security prison, kind of like a nice safe place. The bad guy has them dropped off at a maximum security prison, which there's definitely some holes in how that would happen. Sure. So they're at this like maximum security prison, which just seems like a hellscape with a lot of people that they've put away.
00:33:13
Speaker
Oh yeah, yeah. That scene starts off, they're dropped off. They're making jokes at each other in the shower. You know, typical shower jokes and whatever. Cash gets into his cell. He's about to go to the bathroom and his cellmate is like, don't use my toilet. And Cash is like, well, where am I supposed to go to the bathroom? He's like, I don't care. Not there. And then Cash gets out. He's like, let's get one thing straight. And then his cellmate stands up and he's this huge guy. And he's just like, that is your crap. That's such a good line. Totally backs down.
00:33:38
Speaker
The escape part of that sequence is really good. They do like the Home Alone zip line over the power cords. They fall from very high up with minimal injuries at all. With the pouring rain. I love the pouring rain too. Yeah. Like that was great. But there's two lines that Stallone puts in this whole sequence that I think are digs at people and I think it's very Stallone-like. Okay.
00:33:58
Speaker
So at the first dude that looks like real weird, he's one of the bad guys that he ends up fighting at the end. He's got like a very interestingly shaped face. And Stallone calls him Conan, makes it like a Conan the Barbarian reference, which I think this is a dig at his rival at the time, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had played Conan the Barbarian.
00:34:16
Speaker
And then on the escape scene, Tango gets held up, and so he has to fight while Cash has already escaped, and Cash is waiting for him. So then Tango finally escapes, shows up, and Cash says to him, what'd you stop for coffee in a Danish? And Tango says, I hate Danish, which is definitely a joke referring to Stallone's recent divorce from Danish actress Brigitte Nielsen. Brigitte again. Which we have spoken about. Somehow she's made her way into multiple episodes of the show. She might pass Stallone eventually.
00:34:44
Speaker
But that's classic Stallone right there. I also like the line when they're with Tango's sister in the movie, it's revealed it's a sister, and they're trying to figure out what their next steps are. And Stallone and his sister are arguing, and she says, like, I pay rent. And he said, it's late. She says, check your mail. And then Kurt Russell just like slyly says, well, in Tango's defense, he has been in prison.
00:35:06
Speaker
That was a pretty good line. That was a good line. I really like the rooftop scene with the bad guy, Ponytail, when they're trying to get some information out of him and they do bad cop worst cop. Bad cop worst cop, yeah. Which is great, but Stallone's line reading when he sneaks up behind him is the weirdest you'll ever hear Stallone.
00:35:26
Speaker
Shame, shame, don't you know ponytails are out this season? How you doing, Cash? Shame, shame, don't you know ponytails are out this season? Not the one at all, but I just like love that scene. You know what line I laughed at was we were talking about the guy that they put the dig on, Buck Conan.
Comedic Elements in Tango & Cash
00:35:43
Speaker
Rob Zadar is his name, the actor. Yeah. He had some sort of condition where his jawline is like enormous, like it's almost like comically so, but I think it's Tango.
00:35:52
Speaker
On the streets, this pig and his cock friends broke my ribs, my leg and my jaw. You broke that jaw? You broke that jaw? Like, it was great. I love that. He was good. He was just menacing. I think his his appearance to like kind of made him like a little more intimidating. Oh, yeah. He was a good alternate bad guy. Those are the big ones I have. So who takes this round? I think Roadhouse. There's just too many scenes that are so iconic.
00:36:16
Speaker
I think you're right. And I think even if Roadhouse only had the throat rip scene, it would still win because almost everybody knows that's what this is from. Yeah. Here's the thing. I watched Roadhouse and honestly, a couple of days later, I was like, should I watch Roadhouse again? Yeah. Like that's how good the moments are. Exactly. And that's always a good sign when like a few days later, anything you watch, you're you're still thinking about it in one way or another. Yeah. This definitely had like, oh, man, I can't believe they did like those. So cool.
00:36:43
Speaker
So Roadhouse is taking round two. We have a one-to-one tie heading into round three. Better title or soundtrack. Both these movies have very 80s openings. We've spoken about the 80s openings before. It's not my favorite type of music openings, but it was what it was at the
Music and Title in Roadhouse
00:37:01
Speaker
time. So I don't think either one stands out. Tango and Cash is very Stallone opening. I feel like every movie, like if you were just to watch like the first 30 seconds of any of his movies, I don't know if you could figure out which movie it was for, because it's like the same song.
00:37:12
Speaker
Yeah, I did like the house band in Roadhouse. I did too. Jeff Healy. Jeff Healy. He was the lead singer who was blind in the movie. He's blind in real life, correct? Yeah, he lost his sight at 18 months old. Real musician. Yeah, I just liked his character. Just a real cool guy. They actually have a song in the movie Roadhouse that talks about a Roadhouse. I know you like that stuff.
00:37:31
Speaker
Now, Tango and Cash, I mean, they said Tango and Cash 800,000 times, but that's overkill. Yep. The song Roadhouse was a cool song. And when it came on here, Roadhouse, you're like, okay, I get it. I saw that Swayze actually wrote two songs and performed them for the soundtrack of Roadhouse. Wow. He wrote the song Cliff's Edge and Raising Heaven in Hell Tonight. What a title. Yeah. So Michael Caiman, he was a composer on Roadhouse and he actually recycled some of the musical cues from Die Hard. Okay. Which came out the year before, which is pretty interesting. I can hear that.
00:38:00
Speaker
And then when Doc goes to Dalton's bedroom, a song by Otis Redding comes on called These Arms of Mine comes on the radio. Yeah. Also featured in Dirty Dancing and one of the love scenes. All right. The only thing I really have for Tango and Cash is the sound effect used when the truck is driving around the quarry is the same as Luke Skywalker's land speeder in Star Wars and New Hope. That's pretty cool, actually. Funny. And then some of the sounds for the RV are the same as the DeLorean Time Machine from Back to the Future. The pre-cybertruck wannabe. Yeah.
00:38:30
Speaker
That's pretty cool. I like that. I like how they they reuse some of those two very awesome movies as well. Yeah. I like the name Roadhouse better than Tango and Cash. I don't really have a good reason for it. It just sounds better to me. Yeah. The music is the music. But I'll concede this one to Roadhouse because I do like Jeff Healy and I thought the band and his music in the movie were pretty good. Yeah, I like the music and it wasn't so 80s either. Like I feel like it holds up well. And also I appreciated that the movie title Roadhouse was not the same as the bar.
00:38:59
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. If it was called like double deuce, or which would have been a terrible name, or if the bar was called the Roadhouse. Yeah, still pretty cool, but I like how it differs. All right, Roadhouse takes a two to one lead. Round four, plot holes, cringiness, random questions.
00:39:15
Speaker
The biggest plot hole for Roadhouse is that there's no police ever. None. They say that Wesley pays them off, but even that seems like at some point they're going to have to step in. They're burning buildings down. There's so much violence and even violence that doesn't involve Wesley, the police don't even show up for.
00:39:32
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, there's state police and there's also FBI, like, if it got real bad, right? I'm just curious how many times people can get, like, stabbed and not get brought up on attempted murder charges. Yeah, I guess the number's still out there. We don't know. Yeah, it's still going up. Also, I love how everybody knew who Dalton was, but they're pre-internet. I mean, even with the internet, nobody knows bouncers. Right.
00:39:54
Speaker
There's not like this underground ring for famous bouncers where, are you Dalton? I heard you the best. And then he goes to the double two. So like people already know who he is. It just doesn't happen. The waitress was like, Hey, that's Dalton. Like, what? Even when Sam Elliott shows up, they're like, ladies and gentlemen, Wade Garrett. And everyone's like, whoa, really? Like, first of all, they know Dalton, but they also know another bouncer. Like, yeah, that's the biggest stretch. Maybe that's what he makes. Yeah, I think so too.
00:40:18
Speaker
There was a part where a guy gets thrown out a window and there's shattered glass shards on it. And then Dalton and another guy tumble out of the window. They would be dead. That glass would slice right through them. The double deuce got a facelift fast. I know that he had plans for making it nicer, but they like redid the entire thing. And it takes a lot of time to do that kind of stuff. Dalton still had the bandage from his knife wound. So like, yeah, talking about this is happening over a one to two weeks like that works, not getting done that fast.
00:40:46
Speaker
Yeah, when they showed it, I was like, wait, are they showing the bar from the first scene? But I was like, oh, no, they're done. It was fast. It's really hard to believe that Wesley would get away with all the stuff he was doing, even if he did own the cops. He had a guy drive a monster truck through a car dealership. He blew up a house. He blew up a store and then he just starts like murdering people. I mean, this movie gets insane. Wesley literally turns into like the Joker. But at some point you're getting questioned.
00:41:13
Speaker
someone's got to step in. Not only does he have the guy drive through the car dealership, but that guy just drives that truck as his regular car, which, I mean, I see trucks around here a long time with the race wheel. I'm like, what happened in your life that this is, this is what it's come to. But yeah, I totally agree. And all these people are staying, like if this is how that town ran, like I would just be like, yeah, I'm going to go to a different, I'm going to move.
00:41:33
Speaker
Some cringiness. So there's that scene where the one guy offers the other guy $20 to kiss his wife's, as Fergie calls them, lady lumps. And the guy's just sitting there grabbing him and he's like, what are you gonna kiss? And the guy's like, I don't have 20 bucks at least like a huge fight. Okay, one great scene. You know, that's pretty terrible. It was pretty awful. I do like how those two characters though, the husband and the wife in IMDB, they are named as the well-endowed wife and the sharing husband.
00:42:02
Speaker
That's great. Yeah. Yeah. The love making scene. It's very weird. Just in the way that they're kissing and he's holding her. It just seemed unnatural to me. As weird or weird. Not as weird as the top gun. Not as weird as the top gun.
00:42:19
Speaker
but there was aspects of it that felt very top gunny. And look, I'm not one to question Patrick Swayze. I'm assuming he's a savant in the bedroom. So whatever, you know, there's no intimacy coordinator at this time. So they're just like, yeah, just what do you want to do? He is the intimacy. Yeah. So whatever. I'm just saying it seems weird to me.
00:42:38
Speaker
But according to Kelly Lynch, whenever Bill Murray sees that scene, whether it's on TV or whatever, he always calls her husband to tease him about it, which you have a good sense of humor to be able to deal with that. Absolutely. But the most cringy thing, and I think out of all the horrific things that Wesley does, I think him sitting on his porch watching Dalton and Doc get after it through their window, I think that's like probably the worst thing that he does. He's just staring at them like stewing as they're on the roof
00:43:07
Speaker
Yeah, get a hobby guy. And then at the end Dalton and Doc, they jump in the lake. They're like skinny dipping, but there's just people sitting at the bank.
Doc's Reaction to Dalton's Actions
00:43:15
Speaker
Very weird. Yeah. Not that you mentioned it. There were a lot of people there. Some random questions. It seems irrational that Dalton would try to punch Sam Elliott when he was like real angry at the end. Like this is your best friend. He came all the way here. He's helping you out. I believe he would be angry at him, but he wouldn't try to punch it. No, definitely not.
00:43:31
Speaker
So with the Jimmy Dalton fight, when Dalton does the throat rip, Doc gets so mad at him, runs past him to check on Jimmy, who can't eat, so he's gonna starve to death. But she's so mad at Dalton for doing it. But the guy had a gun, he was trying to kill him. What are you supposed to do? The only reason he did it was because of the gun. He's like, this last ditch effort, this is all I have left, last resort. I agree. I mean, it's like disturbing to see, but she's like, how dare you?
00:43:58
Speaker
How did a guy with a philosophy degree from NYU end up as a bouncer? I don't know. I want to know that story. What came first? You know, like I can't see the philosophy coming first and be like, yeah, I want to be a bouncer. I can see the opposite where he's like, he's a bouncer, but he's also like, all right, I have to have a different mindset in life. Well, maybe he was at NYU and needed a job to pay for college. And so he got a job bouncing because it fit in with his schedule and then just fell into it. Was really good at it. I like that. Yeah.
00:44:26
Speaker
I don't know. What do you got for tango and cash? Okay. So in tango and cash opening scene, which we've touched on Stallone driving his car, he definitely would not have been able to communicate with the helicopter. He's in the convertible. The helicopters up overhead, high speed truck to trailer around.
00:44:41
Speaker
No, he had like a walkie talkie. He's flying down the highway. You're not going to happen. And then when cash, he's in his apartment and then there's a hit man who comes in and then they both jump out the window. Second story. And they just like get up. Yeah. No, like lamp or like busting my ankle. They're just like, no, no worries. Yeah.
00:44:59
Speaker
Also, after they get arrested, so they're framed for this crime and the police show up, it looks like they were involved in whatever had just happened. But like, there's no like, explain like, what happened? Like, there's no side of their story. They're just like, yep, you're going to prison. I mean, they're police officers. There's not like, did you guys see anything where you did? It was just automatic. Highly decorated police officers too. Yeah.
00:45:19
Speaker
So they just kind of like, all right, you did it clearly. Also the, the minimum security versus maximum security prison. As we've talked about, like they were sentenced to no more than 18 months in a minimum security prison. So as Kurt Russell's character frequently says, it's a country club. Where's the golf course? Like it's going to be nothing. But then when they open the doors of their transport vehicle, they're at the maximum security prison. And they're like, well, how did that happen?
00:45:41
Speaker
How does that happen? They say like, oh, the bad guy paid off the right people. He owned like some board or whatever. And that just doesn't happen. No, it doesn't happen. There's too many lawyers. Have you ever been to jail? No. No, I've never been to jail. Minimum, maximum, no security, whatever. No. What's up with all the papers? Just like they walk in and there's just like papers on fire everywhere, like raining from above. It felt like the jail was on fire. It was very odd. I mean, that has to be a fire code. It was very weird. Again, never been. So maybe that's just how it is. I don't know. Yeah.
00:46:10
Speaker
Let us know if anyone out there has been to jail. Let us know. Yeah. Yeah. Would like to know.
Gratuitous Nudity in 80s Films
00:46:14
Speaker
All right. So cringy. I still don't understand this scene. Has there ever been a more unnecessary boob shot in a movie? So scene where we talked about Cassius chasing the guy who's trying to kill him, they jump out the window. They are now in a parking garage and then they just like, they just show a backseat of a car and these like two people, they're completely naked. You're just like, why? Like, why is that in there?
00:46:35
Speaker
The 80s was a crazy time. Is that what it comes down to is just this was the 80s to my recollection Yes, that is the most unnecessary boob shot in a movie ever. That's all I got. Yep. That's all we got All right some questions for you. Okay, so the scene where they're being tortured tied up in chains and they're being lowered into those little pools of water and then they're
00:46:53
Speaker
Like, electrocuting them? Yeah. You would die, wouldn't you? I think so. I mean, I think if you get electrocuted while being in water, you die. Yeah, isn't that the whole thing? Like, if there's lightning, like, get out of the pool, like... I don't know. Look, some smart science people can correct us if we're wrong, but I'm fairly certain they would have died. Well, Caruso says, if your foot's not touching the ground, you get electrocuted. You'll be fine.
00:47:13
Speaker
Remember when he said that? I was like, I don't know about that either. I don't know if that's how it works, buddy. Things were different in the 80s. Who knows? Yeah. Do you think this movie was trying to be like part James Bond?
Quirky Plot Choices in Tango & Cash
00:47:23
Speaker
I mean, it kind of turned into that with the special weapons guy and that car they made and stuff. But no vanity plates. This is a Stallone movie with no vanity plates, which can't win them all. Well disappointed, but it's okay. Yeah, can't win them all. All right. Stallone. Again, commenting on the food. He's, you know, he comments on the spaghetti.
00:47:41
Speaker
Yeah. From the look of your diet, it's obvious you're not too interested in counting calories. This is like what, the third or fourth movie? He's very judgy. He's always like talking about diet and food. Yeah, it's interesting. Coming from a guy who eats pizza with scissors, like he eats. Yes, yeah. I don't think he's allowed to be commenting. Do you know what kind of club Cleopatra's is? So that's where Tango's sister works? Not at all. At first, I thought it was a strip club. Yeah, me too. But they don't strip, they just dance.
00:48:08
Speaker
Yeah, it's like a variety show club. I don't know. All right. So Kurt Russell, when he shows up there, he then has to leave because the cops show up. And so they dress him up as a woman. I mean, it's like really obvious. He's got like stuff. They would look like a woman at all. He literally pulls down the glasses and like he makes it worse. Yeah. Also, why was his sister massaging cash? I don't know, because it just cuts the apartment and she's massaging him, which would be weird for someone to do the first time they met you. Yeah, pretty instantly.
00:48:36
Speaker
What makes it even weirder is when Tango comes into the house, she is moaning. Yeah. They're doing more. This is weird. Nobody does that. If you're massaging somebody, you're not moaning like that. No, definitely not. Also, why did the end of the movie turn into Mad Max? It was like a suit of go kart going through. It was directed by four people. That's true. Somebody thought that they were directing a Mad Max movie.
00:49:01
Speaker
man. Okay, so there's a part where the bomb is set and then Stolo Stolo looks at it. He's like, either this clock is running backwards or someone set up a bomb. Yeah. Great line. But then like, they're like, Oh, we have 11 minutes to get out. And then he says the Raiders scored three touchdowns in 11 minutes. Like that was supposed to be like real impressive. Like that is like, it was the eighties. There wasn't that much offense, but even then, like, that's basically a quarter. Yeah, that's a quarter. Three touchdowns on a quarter. That's nothing. I don't think it's that I don't think it's as impressive as he was hoping it would be.
00:49:31
Speaker
And then weird at the end, holding hands, high five. Like the freeze frame. Yeah, the freeze frame. But it was fully clasped and then it zooms out and it's them doing the same thing in a newspaper headline. Stallone loves his freeze frames, man. Yeah, he does. That's a weird high five though. Yeah.
00:49:47
Speaker
Looking through these both of these movies have like ridiculous parts of it But that's just an 80s movie and that's kind of why I like doing 80s movies because I love pointing out the ridiculous aspects of it Yeah, but it doesn't really take anything away from the movie for me. Like I still love the movie Yeah, right of the ridiculousness. It almost makes it better.
Realism in Roadhouse vs. Tango & Cash
00:50:05
Speaker
I get like for me. I want to watch this movie I want to watch it with a friend and be able to like laugh at the ridiculousness of it
00:50:11
Speaker
But I do think that the lack of police presence in Roadhouse makes me feel like Tango and Cash should probably take this. Yeah, because I feel like a lot of their problems would have been there wouldn't have been any issues in the movie if the police were just there. He wouldn't have done half the stuff he did.
00:50:27
Speaker
All right, so Tango and Cash has taken this. We are tied two to two, going into round five, our miscellaneous question of the week. What is more unrealistic, ripping a guy's throat out with your bare hands or Tango and Cash being in a maximum security prison with a ton of people that they locked up, making it out of that prison alive?
00:50:46
Speaker
Alright, so as we have determined, neither of us have been in prison. Also, I have never ripped a guy's throat out, have you? Uh, no. Can't say I have. Both sound extremely hard to do. I don't know the science behind ripping someone's throat out. It seems difficult, but I don't think they would have been able to get out of the prison alive.
00:51:04
Speaker
I think maybe if you had strong enough fingernails and you knew the right ways to like pressure in and grab, maybe you could figure out a way to do that. I especially the fact that they were surrounded by like 100 people at one point, they're not making it out of day one alive in that prison. And then they get electrocuted like they should have died. They should have died. So yeah, I think that's more unrealistic. Yeah, me too.
00:51:27
Speaker
While I've never seen anybody get their throat ripped out with someone's bare hands, I'm gonna believe that that's more realistic than Tango and Cash making it out of that prison alive. We have a very low bar here. Well, so Roadhouse will take round five. Heading into round six, better trivia.
00:51:43
Speaker
Patrick Swayze and Marshall Teague did their fight scene, the throat pullout scene, 71 times. 71 took five days. They threw real punches, real kicks by the end Swayze covered in bruises, two broken ribs. He actually needed two and a half ounces of fluid drain from his left knee. Wow. Is this what took him out of Tango and Cash? It has to be, right? I think this is it. So in Roadhouse, the blue monster truck. I know I have Tango and Cash, but bear with me.
00:52:10
Speaker
So in Roadhouse, the blue monster truck that drives through the Ford dealership is the famous monster truck Bigfoot 7. In Tango and Cash, one of the monster trucks at the quarry scene was this same truck, although it's just painted a different color than its trademark. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, so Bigfoot appears in both Roadhouse and Tango and Cash. Nice pickup.
00:52:31
Speaker
The character of Dalton was named after the town of Dalton, Georgia. Screenwriter R. Lance Hill was passing through, stopped at a local bar, and the establishment and its patrons left an impression on him, so much so that he named the protagonist Dalton.
00:52:46
Speaker
So the scene that we mentioned earlier where Tango faces the oncoming truck with nothing but the gun was borrowed from the Jackie Chan movie Police Story, which came out in 1985. Then as a response to that, Chan referenced Tango and Cash and their makeshift zipline prison escape in his third police story movie, Supercop, which came out in 1992.
00:53:08
Speaker
Movies playing homage to each other pretty cool tango cash seems like I mean not only this but like they had some other Stuff in the script like intentionally aimed at other things too, which is kind of cool Oh, yeah, there was like definitely references to Lethal Weapon and a few other movies Rambo Conan. Yeah, it's good stuff. I like that. Where's your head out here? Yeah, this is tough one. This is pretty close for me I do like the part with the fight like it's you know, they were like really doing their own stunts there and
00:53:34
Speaker
Yeah, I also do like the fact that monster trucks in both because that's a ridiculous thing to be in both movies. Like, that's kind of fun. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm not kind of lean tango and cash in this one. Yeah, I do, too. I think the fight stuff is really cool. However, I think that's probably I mean, you could say that about a bunch of movies, you know, in Rocky Four, they were throwing real punches and a lot of the great 80s action movies, they were doing a lot of the realistic stuff that doesn't take away from it. It's just I feel like it was more common than probably we think. Yeah.
00:54:02
Speaker
I like the homage to the Jackie Chan movie and the monster truck thing. Let's go tango and cashier. All right, we are tied. Heading into round seven. Better script, better story, more fun.
00:54:14
Speaker
Apparently, the original cut of Roadhouse was three hours and 20 minutes long. Wow. There's a ton of stuff that they had to take out, a lot more backstory and explanation for aspects of the movie. They did apparently have some scenes with the town sheriff, which maybe would have cleared up some of those things as well. Yeah, okay.
00:54:32
Speaker
All that being said, I still think Roadhouse cruises. And to me, it gets better every single time I watch it. Yeah. Tango Cash was fun. I mean, you were texting me lines when you were watching it. It's a funny movie. It is funny. I felt like all the sister stuff with Cash and Tango's sister, it felt very like rushed and squeezed into the end of the movie. Yeah. Which I felt like there was probably a way they could have made it so that that had more of a through line.
00:55:02
Speaker
Like, essentially, they set that whole thing up for that whole joke of Tango going in and the audience thinking, oh, is this Tango's girlfriend? But that ends up being a sister. But I don't think that's as big of a payoff as the writers thought it was going to be. Exactly. There was a lot of kind of anticipation for like, oh, my God, like, are they going to reveal who this person is? Is it an ex-wife? Like, is it like who is the sister?
00:55:23
Speaker
like it's funny it was good like okay harmless but yeah i totally agree with you so i don't know both are really good i tend to think roadhouse is more iconic i think what is really evident and it's something that we've talked about multiple times already though is just all the different direction that went through tango and cash like
00:55:42
Speaker
Yeah, it's so ridiculous like it we even said like it jumps the shark maybe two or three times Like it just gets more ridiculous as the movie goes on so eighties. There's nothing not to like about it You know, it's got some really intense scenes. It's got some really funny parts really good chemistry between Stallone and Kurt Russell But I just think like it could have been buttoned up a little bit more I mean nobody's fault really like they just went through so many directors It's like of course, it's not gonna come out like exactly cohesive all the way through. Yeah
00:56:08
Speaker
Is it a funny movie? Is it a serious movie? Is it a thriller? Like what is this? I think Roadhouse. I think it holds up way more. Yeah, we talked about even the music in it. Yeah, man, it's just got so many hard-hitting scenes that you go through them again. Like when we just like recapped them real quick and like, geez, like they don't let up. They almost get better as the movie goes on. Just pretty impressive. It doesn't really take a break. There's no parts in Roadhouse where I'm like, yeah, I don't really care about this. They're both really fun. I tend to lean Roadhouse.
00:56:35
Speaker
Yeah, they're fun in very different ways. But yeah, if I were to pick between one or the other, if they're both on TV at the same time, I'd probably pick Roadhouse. There you go. Okay. Well, Roadhouse wins this matchup. I feel good about that. Me too. We're all going to have to watch the remake. It will definitely not be as good as the original, but I'm excited to see how it stands up and what kind of little callbacks they do. Yeah, that'll be a lot of fun too.
00:56:58
Speaker
Any closing thoughts? Just give me more 80s movies, Rob. I love this. We'll definitely be back with way more 80s movies in season two. Nice little tease. All right, what are your rankings? This is a tough one to rank because I think I told you before when I was texting you during the movies, I was like, man, I love Tango and Cash. It's not the best movie in the world. But I'm like, man, it's just like so out there. For that kind of movie, it's hard to give it a score because you're like,
00:57:22
Speaker
Am I like giving it to more of a feeling? He is more of a feeling. I am going to give Roadhouse an 86 and I am going to give Tango and cash a 78. Nice. And I think at first I had it a little bit higher, but again, you kind of give it a few days to kind of like settle in. Yeah. And then like some of the stuff comes to the surface and you're like, okay, like, all right, maybe not. Maybe I shouldn't give it a hundred. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that feels right to me.
00:57:44
Speaker
I went Roadhouse with an 84 and Tango and Cash with a 74. Nice. Easily could have swung a couple different points out. They're so close.
Revisiting Ratings and Discussion Wrap-Up
00:57:52
Speaker
I know. I would like to, at some point, you know, kind of like look back at some of her ratings and we were going to need to re-rank. Sometimes you see them against other ones and you're like, okay, well, I think this one was better. Yeah.
00:58:01
Speaker
Well, this was fun, Alex.
Engagement and Farewell to Listeners
00:58:03
Speaker
This has been the movie showdown with Rock and Rob. Make sure to like, subscribe, rate, and review all that fun stuff. And follow us on all the socials at Rock and Rob Show. Until next time, peace. I'm out of here. Adios, mijo. I don't know if he says that, but that sounds like a very Sam Elliott thing to say.