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018 - Embracing Authenticity and Finding Success Beyond Expectations with Jim McCarthy
43 Plays1 year ago
Description:
In this episode, Reggie Ford engages in a candid conversation with Jim McCarthy, a seasoned podcaster, radio personality, and voiceover artist, exploring topics ranging from unexpected snow in Nashville to personal fears and the journey into the radio industry. Jim offers valuable insights on maintaining passion, dealing with imposter syndrome, and the importance of authenticity in one's career. They delve into the intricacies of online presence, emphasizing the significance of staying genuine amidst the pressures of perceived success and the pitfalls of high-pressure sales tactics. Jim shares his journey from feeling like an outsider in a white-collar world to finding fulfillment, highlighting the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in both personal and professional life. This episode serves as a testament to overcoming societal expectations and finding joy and purpose in one's own path.
Highlights:
- Jim opens up about his biggest fear, reflecting on past financial struggles and the journey to improve his credit score.
- Reggie and Jim share insights on resilience, authenticity, and finding joy in the journey, inspiring listeners to embrace their own paths with authenticity and determination.
- Jim shares his experience with high-pressure sales tactics at a resort, emphasizing the importance of authenticity in selling.
- Reggie and Jim discuss the significance of genuine empowerment from others in overcoming self-doubt.
- Jim recounts his transition from radio to the car sales industry and the challenges he faced as a newcomer.
- Both reflect on the influence of past experiences and negative biases on self-perception and confidence.
- Jim shares how he overcame societal pressures and pursued a non-traditional career path.
- Jim reflects on his experiences growing up in a blue-collar environment within the affluent Westchester County, NY.
- Overcoming feelings of inadequacy due to not having a college degree and navigating a career in radio.
- A pivotal moment of realization during a high school reunion that changed Jim's perspective on success.
- The importance of finding joy in what you do, regardless of financial gain.
- A life-changing conversation with a customer at a Mercedes dealership about true wealth and success.
- The challenges and importance of saying "I'm sorry" and being vulnerable in relationships.
Connect with Reggie
Instagram - https://instagram.com/reggiedford
LinkedIn - https://linkedin.com/in/reggiedford
Website - https://reggiedford.com
Connect with Jim:
Website - www.jmvos.com and https://jimmccarthyvoiceovers.com/
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Transcript
Finding Unique Paths and Changing Self-Talk
00:00:00
Speaker
I do really well, but I can't stand what I do. I hate my job. And I hurt my brother in my head. If you get up every day wondering why you have to do something, you're in the wrong thing.
00:00:12
Speaker
And it's at that point where I really, like the tables started turning and the self-talk started taking a different direction. I said, you know, at least I took a path less traveled and it's working
Introducing 'Vulnerability Muscle' Podcast
00:00:23
Speaker
out. We're not there. Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the empowering podcast, challenging norms and guiding you to find strength and power through vulnerability. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford.
00:00:36
Speaker
In a world that often portrays vulnerability as a sign of weakness, I believe it is a source of tremendous strength and authenticity. Through insightful conversations and thought-provoking interviews, Vulnerability Muscle aims to redefine vulnerability and help listeners develop a new perspective on their own lives. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle delves into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts.
00:01:01
Speaker
We explore the power of vulnerability and healing, building resilience and promoting personal growth, as well as fostering meaningful connections. This podcast provides practical tools and strategies to navigate life's challenges, overcome adversity and create more inclusive and just environments for all people.
Weather Conversations and Personal Impact
00:01:20
Speaker
Oh, Jim, welcome. How are you doing, my brother? Man, I'm doing well yourself.
00:01:25
Speaker
I'm doing great. I'm doing great. I'm, I'm trying to stay warm cause we just got hit with some snow here. Uh, how much did y'all get? I mean, I'm sure you're right down the road, but do you know how many inches, uh, was the final? I think, uh, like around here, it's been about four or five inches.
00:01:42
Speaker
Okay. Okay. I've seen as high, I think eight, uh, I think they'll meet guy with eight. So, uh, it's crazy. Um, and I know it's, uh, eight inches up there. You'd never think that you'd get that much snow in Nashville in general, but it's forcing me to wear these types of hats, which screws up my hair. So
00:02:06
Speaker
And I've been wearing this sweatshirt for, I don't know how long, so it's good.
Fear of Financial Instability and Overcoming Credit Issues
00:02:12
Speaker
I want to start off by asking a couple of questions and feel free to be as vulnerable as you possibly can be or want to be, whatever is comfortable for you. The first question, what is your biggest fear? My biggest fear? Man, coming out of the gate strong.
00:02:34
Speaker
I know I wanted, I wanted to get you warmed up. I feel like you're professional. Man, I never thought about it. I don't really, I don't want to say I don't fear much, but I mean, um, I've always had a fear of returning to the place when I was 18, 19 years old, when my credit score was in the toilet.
00:02:58
Speaker
And I've worked hard since then to make, uh, my credit score a lot better than it was then. Cause I mean, it was truly a learning experience. I'm glad I got it out of the way when I was 18 because it, it indeed lasted seven years before things started. Yeah, they started taking me seriously again. So that's a big fear. I don't know if it's the biggest.
00:03:20
Speaker
A big field works and that's an early lesson that you got. I'm glad it happened that early for you as well. Oh yeah. And it's funny cause I got my first credit card when I was 18 and it was like, uh, the, the credit limit was like $600 or something. And I used it for gas and things of that nature. And my father does like, he's like, yeah, here it goes. I'm like, and that's about all the council I got.
00:03:49
Speaker
I'm sure you're not alone in that. Uh, probably a lot of people didn't, didn't understand what was going on with their credit as well. I've seen some folks have to dig out of that hole. So, um, well, this is a question that I'm sure as, as the episode goes on, I'll have other answers. They'll pop into my head. If you do share them, but the next one is going to be on the positive
Distilling Complex Ideas and Rebranding Efforts
00:04:10
Speaker
side. So, and I, and I, I, I want to guess it, but I'm not, what is your superpower?
00:04:18
Speaker
Um, let's see. I mean, um, being able to guide people in their podcast journey, uh, as well as simplify the, uh, tip of the spear message of an effort business or otherwise. Um, I, I hear a lot of people get inside their own heads and they over explain what they do. I've just always had a gifting to be able to say, okay, so,
00:04:45
Speaker
after hearing five minutes, if you tell me what you do, this is what you do. And I sum it up in, you know, 10, 10 words. Yeah, that's what I do. Okay. There's a lead with that. You know, that's a superpower, I guess. No, that's a great superpower. And that's one that I think I can benefit from as one of the call with a professional who is helping me do exactly that. Taking all of these different pieces of my life, my
00:05:12
Speaker
experience my career, my speaking and, and, and putting that into something very succinct in my messaging. And so, uh, I might be hitting you up for, for that as well. And I'm sure, um, we met, so a little background, we met, I hopped on your podcast not too long ago, maybe a couple of months ago. And, uh, yeah, what, what's your problem is the name of the podcast. Uh, it's actually been rebranded since then. Okay. What is it now?
00:05:41
Speaker
The Mostly Middle Tennessee Business Podcast. A little bit more of a mouthful. Yeah, it is. It is. What's the reason behind... One, I love what's your problem, but tell me about how that podcast came to be.
00:05:55
Speaker
I had an old general manager, a boss, I guess, mentor of mine. Uh, we had lunch about four or five months ago. He's entering the business coaching space. Um, and I've always been trying to get him on my podcast and he always has a way to kind of look at me and go, so, uh, that's the thing. What's uh, what came about? Why, why'd you go with that? You know, he has that way about him. So he asked me, so the name of the podcast, what's uh, you know, what's up with that?
00:06:24
Speaker
So I'm like, you know, here's the reason why I called it that, you know, the, the gist of it kind of switched over time. And ultimately what it really is, is mostly a business podcast for middle Tennessee business owners and professionals. Um, you know, the, what's your problem angle was it's ambiguous. If you look at on the surface, you know, are we, uh, you know, psychiatry podcast or, you know, therapy, you could be misconstrued that way, but, um,
00:06:54
Speaker
In this case, I felt like I would attract more bees to the hive with a more specific name of the podcast and let's just say what it is. That's exactly what it is. And I figured with all the people moving in to the state, people that are exploring the option of moving into the state, maybe they'll look around for podcasts and they're shopping around middle Tennessee. It's right there in the name. Maybe we get some more bees to the hive that way. So that's the strategy.
00:07:23
Speaker
Wow. I liked that. I liked that. I think the approach that I took in naming, uh, this podcast, it shifted. So I was, I was, I knew vulnerability. I wanted that to be the topic of it. And I knew I wanted it to, to be kind of this redefining moment, but it was hard for me to come up with something that was brandable. I got a friend. He's like, it's not brandable, but you just said, Nope, you have to explain too much of it. It's not brandable. And so you can hear this in the first season of some of the language that I have.
00:07:53
Speaker
It was called embracing vulnerability before it got released. And so I had multiple episodes where, or all the episodes in the first season where we were under the brand embracing vulnerability, but between recording and releasing, vulnerability muscle just clicked. And I think it has the same, like it tells you what it's about. Um, but it is also a thing that can be branded. And so.
00:08:18
Speaker
Um, I'm curious when you made the switch. Well, one, when you had
Transition from Radio to Podcasting
00:08:23
Speaker
the first, what's your problem? And then with the switch, how do you see that in the SEO space for searching your podcast? I know, I know you mentioned like people are looking for middle Tennessee or maybe looking for middle Tennessee business. Uh, how, how is it? I mean, how is it to get a domain name and all of that with, with the name along?
00:08:45
Speaker
That was, you know, middle, mostly middle Tennessee business podcast.com is something that is the URL and it's, it's long, but I also truncated it to the acronym if you will. So there's also M M T B P.com. So that's mostly the one
00:09:02
Speaker
that i brand that i say on the actual podcast when you're following along and you know as long as you make it as easy as possible and they hear things over and over again mmt bp it took me a while to kind of get it down but now it's muscle memory you know that's that's like anything with repetition frequency you know typical like when i came out of radio those radio advertising tenants um you hear something over and over again enough it'll stick um and to me a name is a name um it's
00:09:33
Speaker
Brandable or not, I think it's a better looking brand than what your problem was and it speaks more to the heart of what we're doing. I was going to call it the Tennessee Grind.
00:09:43
Speaker
And, uh, you know, that conjures up a myriad of images, you know, one being coffee. And so several people I kind of researched with, you know, highly trusted friends of mine who were going to shoot straight with me. I didn't want anybody to say, yeah, that sounds good. I want, you know, I want your honest opinion. So three, like three of them said, yeah, it sounds like a coffee podcast. I'm like, all right, you know, that's, uh,
00:10:05
Speaker
Fair enough. I said, what if I just call it the mostly middle Tennessee business podcast? And they're like, yeah, go with it. Okay. So yeah, I love it. And it sounds like you said, like the radio background of it, like you hear WPX, W this, this, this, and that, and that. And it's the same concept. We don't know what those W's and all those letters mean, but there is a meaning behind it, but you get attached and you associate it with those letters.
00:10:32
Speaker
Uh, talk about how your background in radio, because when I came on a podcast, I saw you in action. It was like, I felt like you were about to pull out some turntables and start mixing. Like you had it all down pat. You had every button pressed and it was, it was a production. It was a real production. I was impressed, but talk about your radio background and kind of how you got into that and you know, what you've learned from that.
00:11:00
Speaker
Well, I mean, it started when I was around that time of 18, 19 getting out into the world, uh, went to college, wasn't for me. Um, but at the time I was getting in there, I played around at the radio station at the college campus and, uh, they, you know, it was always one of those things in the back of my mind that I knew it wouldn't exactly bring a ton of money home, but it was a fun job. And I tried a bunch of other things. I was, uh,
00:11:29
Speaker
I got out of college, didn't work out, and ended up going to the trade with my dad. He had a business that he was kind of ramping down. He wanted to get retired. It wasn't my thing either, but it was a great skill to learn. That transitioned into an electrical job, which helps me a lot today, all the skills that I learned when I was an electrical apprentice up in Connecticut.
00:11:50
Speaker
I still use today i mean they're valuable skills but again my brother once told me that if you get up every day.
00:12:00
Speaker
uh, wondering why you have to do what you're going to do again. It's not a good place to be. And that's where I was. I was getting up every day, you know, five 30 in the morning, I had to be at the job site by seven. Uh, you know, it was either freezing cold or it was, you know, spring and fall were nice, but you know, summer and spring, uh, wintertime in Connecticut were just brutal. Uh, there was one job I went on during the summer where I pulled up to the site and in my lunch,
00:12:28
Speaker
you know, igloo cooler. I had my sandwich, my lunch for the day and four. Back then there were Poland spring bottles about that. They were their medium sized selection. They were considerably sizable and I had four of those. So here I was, I downed all four of them throughout the day, but didn't have to go to the bathroom once because it all came out through my skin. And, um,
00:12:54
Speaker
That's when you're up on the ladder, you're drilling through, you know, all sorts of stuff and getting wood chips in your hair on your sweaty. It just, it was like, I, I always felt like at the time I needed to do something like something was in me. I had to, there was something I was meant to do. I had to get it out of my system. And that is to come to the fact that, well, Hey, it might as well be radio because it may not pay the bills, but I can figure it out.
Relocating for Passion and Affordable Living
00:13:20
Speaker
And, um,
00:13:21
Speaker
I went to a broadcast school in Connecticut, graduated. That got my foot in the door at the radio station. I say this publicly all the time. I got my teeth cut at the radio station. I swore I'd never work for, because it was the one that was in my backyard that we always listened to growing up.
00:13:37
Speaker
But hey, they gave me my shot and it was a springboard into Las Vegas and Las Vegas was there for four years, uh, you know, honing my craft, getting around, uh, people that were better than me, uh, in Connecticut. I was, I became a very big fish in a small pond in Vegas. It was a six station cluster of notable stations that were written up in trade magazines and, uh, radio and records. And you know, you'd, you'd find, you'd see read about them in Rolling Stone. I mean, these were big high profile radio stations.
00:14:05
Speaker
And I was a small fish in a big ocean. A man in about a year and a half, I became very influential inside the building because I just loved what I did. I got up and every day I truly got up with a spring in my step. I understood the virtue of how important that is for what we do. And I ended up starting a side hustle with voiceover, which supplemented things. But I mean, you know,
00:14:31
Speaker
We were paid mainly in experiences then, you know, with all the exposure to celebrities and events and opportunities that we had. And then eventually this, my wife and I wanted to move back to the quote East coast, but definitely not Connecticut because it gave us perspective. We were actually able to afford a house out there. We were able to create a life where we own something. Um, and we knew the South would be another place to kind of do that. And I always felt like I was a displaced Southerner anyway.
00:15:00
Speaker
So, uh, we wound up here in Oh five and I started working for mixed 92 nine and Jack FM right around Oh five. And I was with them for about nine years. So, and I just, just keep on, I have my, my, I still do radio, if you will, through podcasting. Cause that's the next iteration of radio. Wow. That's a journey. That's an amazing journey of following your passion.
00:15:24
Speaker
Uh, no, I'm sure like early on, I'm sure it was very difficult to jump out there and do that, but you, you became that big fish. And, uh, I think we all desire in whatever we're doing to become, you know, that, that big thing, but then to jump into Vegas, like how daunting of a place to be, to be an entertainer of any sort.
00:15:49
Speaker
Um, what was, what was that transition like and, and how did you, did you experience any imposter syndrome or, or anything in that transition? Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was me going from market two 89 in Danbury, Connecticut to market 39. Now a lot of, you know, for those delayment out there, uh, market size in a certain demographic market areas, like they call them DMAs. Um,
00:16:18
Speaker
the higher, if you want to get paid better in broadcasting at the time, you had to ascend through the markets. So that was my next big step. Uh, from Vegas, I always knew I wanted to land in a major market, at least in the first couple of years I was there. So it'd have to be a Dallas, uh, you know, I didn't want to move further west. So LA and San Francisco, those places were out, um, getting back to the East coast. It would have to be in Atlanta, Miami, uh,
00:16:44
Speaker
you know, Dallas, I was good with as well. And I've had a couple of opportunities pop up there. But to answer your question, getting out there to begin with, um, I tell this story a lot where I think my wife and I were there a week. We found a place to live. I mean, talk about feeling displaced. We had to live about four or five days in a hotel on the strip.
00:17:06
Speaker
Cause they had trade. So there's nothing more displacing than having everything you own, baking out another under the hot sun and a moving truck. And you're living in a hotel and I want to go work out, but you know, in every hotel in Vegas, have you ever been there? If you want to go somewhere in the hotel, either working out or maybe go get some sundries, you got to walk through the casino and they force you to
00:17:31
Speaker
So here I am in my workout clothes first thing in the morning, walking through the casino and people are like looking at you going, I'm going, all right, I'm just going to go back to my room. So, you know, we ended up getting our own apartment. Finally, we started the move in process. It was our first time ever being west of the Mississippi from where we lived and 2000 miles away from anything we've ever known. Um, and I said, you know, my wife was just sorting through the boxes. I was at work.
00:18:01
Speaker
We had a pizza place across from the radio station. I said, Hey, I'll get us a pizza and I'll bring it home for lunch. Uh, I go there, order a $25 20, 10 inch.
00:18:12
Speaker
California quote pizza that was like bare basics for $25. I'm going, what, what the crap is this? And, um, while I was waiting for it, I noticed on the bed and the menus that they have by the cash register, all the locations of this place were either in California, Arizona, or Nevada. And I was going, wow, that hit me. I was going, I am really out of my element here. What have I done?
00:18:40
Speaker
But man, it was very uneasy. But you know, you spend enough time is you stick it out and you make good friends and you become part of the mesh. And as long as you're you kind of share that same passion everybody else had. And radio is a passion driven industry. Everybody clicked and it was a really good hive mind for creativity, if that makes sense. It really stretched me. Oh, I like that hive mind for creativity.
00:19:08
Speaker
Um, when, when, when you're chasing a passion, um, especially one like, like radio, right. At certain levels, it may not be as lucrative. And at 18, you were, you know, dealing with the credit score and having to figure out finances.
Achieving Financial Stability and Overcoming Overwhelm
00:19:25
Speaker
How did you and your wife, uh, how did y'all get through those moments and what kept the passion going as opposed to I'm going back to finding something safe, finding something that I know is going to be reliable.
00:19:39
Speaker
Well, I mean that followed me till I was about 25, 26. My in-laws were...
00:19:47
Speaker
really generous by signing on and helping us out with our first house and co-signing for it. Uh, there's nothing more humiliating than having to, uh, write a letter to the bank, the mortgage company explaining what happened in those years with, uh, my credit discrepancies, um, and having everybody see it. So even including your in-laws like, you know,
00:20:13
Speaker
here we are two or three years married, not even that, maybe about a year married at that point. And, uh, them kind of, you know, giving those looks to the, my wife going, are you sure you made the right decision? That was, that was something. I mean, that was, uh, you know, once upon a time, even when my wife and I were dating, um, we went to a cell phone store in Connecticut and I'm like, Hey, I'll get a cell phone and
00:20:40
Speaker
They pulled credit back then. I don't know if they still do. Maybe they do. And because of my credit, you know, she got a brand new phone and was signed up and I, I got declined. It was, it was mortifying, but that house really changed things.
00:20:58
Speaker
Um, I bought my first car on my own at age 26. Although my wife was upset that I didn't put her on the, on the deal. I said, but Hey, looking at this way, I was able to finance a car at a decent interest rate and it's on my own. So cool. We're moving in the right direction. That's amazing. Wow. Um, so, so, so much to be gained through that experience. Do you have any advice?
00:21:27
Speaker
for someone out there who is at that age or at that space in their career where they are wanting to give up, wanting to turn back, wanting to do something different and leave that passion behind. Any advice to that person? My business partner
00:21:48
Speaker
talks about this kind of a scenario a lot. Uh, and I have to agree with him. Sometimes when you're overwhelmed, when you're having one of those days, I mean the impetus of the what's your problem podcast was the it's always something factor. As long as you accept that on some level every day, it's going to be something.
00:22:08
Speaker
something's not going to go right. It could be small, a little bit of an annoyance could be big. You know, uh, last Friday I get home and I got a, you know, a letter from the IRS that used to scare the crap out of me. But now it's kind of, you know, not that it happens on a regular basis. It's like, Oh, that's great. Perfect timing guys. And right before the weekend, for crying out loud, um, just do the next thing, you know, just, uh, calm yourself, take a moment, take five minutes,
00:22:37
Speaker
You think about the situation. If the next thing is writing a list and there's your next thing, write a list of things you need to do. Just, you know, as long as you're small, cause it was sometimes just, uh, and there's another part of this, sometimes just getting through and figuring out what to do. As long as you come away from the day with an accomplishment as small as it might be, that'll help you. Um, the other aspect of this is when, uh,
00:23:06
Speaker
when you're feeling like that, then maybe it's time for you to take a mental break and help somebody else. You know, um, all of us have had those moments and I've been really taking them seriously as of late. You have somebody pop into your head randomly. Yeah. That means you should probably reach out and check on them. Yep. And it's been happening. The more I do it, the more it happens to me.
00:23:32
Speaker
someone will pop into my head and I'll shoot him a text. Hey man, thinking of you, hope you're all, you're okay. You know, just, just wanting to let you know you're being thought of. And for that person, that might be, that might be the difference of a whole bunch of things, a lot of weight. And for you, it gets the attention off of your situation. Who can I help? Yeah. You know, when in doubt, serve.
00:23:58
Speaker
When in doubt, sir. I love that. I love that so much. And the first, the first point of, of just do the next thing. Um, I was listening to Ryan leaf speak a couple of years ago and he was, he's considered probably one of the greatest NFL busts of all time, which.
00:24:15
Speaker
Is hard, hard title to carry and he's had his struggles since the NFL and speaks openly about those. And, uh, I think one of the things that I took away from his talk was similar to what you just said about do the next thing. Right. And as small as it may be.
00:24:34
Speaker
And so like he, you know, even if it's like, I have a tissue, I have a piece of paper and I'm shooting it into the basket. If I miss it, go pick up that piece of paper, put it in the basket. That's the next thing that you can do right at that moment. And, and when you say writing down like a list, I find myself when I'm, when I'm like anxious as can be, and I have all these different thoughts, I have all these different ideas and I want to get a lot done, but I'm getting nothing done because I'm trying to do too much.
00:25:02
Speaker
If I sit down and just write the things out, how much peace that brings me and how much more productive I am on the other side of that. And so I think that is a fantastic, uh, piece of advice for, for everyone really just, uh, being able to break it down into smaller things. Like it doesn't have to be this thing. In fact, I, uh, I think when, um, when I have a something on my to-do list for two weeks or longer.
00:25:29
Speaker
I break it down into something smaller. So let's say it's write a blog post and that's on, you know, on there for two weeks and I don't write it.
00:25:38
Speaker
make an outline for a blog post, then write the first paragraph, like something where it's broken down into a smaller, more accomplishable task, because obviously that I wrote down was too big. So, um, I love that. I love that so much. Um, I always tell people that, you know, a lot of big ideas seem like climbing about Everest, but you forget that Everest is just taken one step at a time, literally, you know, just get to the next step.
00:26:06
Speaker
Yes. Yes. One step at a time. Uh, man, that's, that's beautiful. Um, I think I, I truly appreciate about you is, is your level of authenticity that you bring to your work as a podcaster, as, as, you know, the radio personality that you are
Authenticity in Public Roles and Social Media Critique
00:26:23
Speaker
and.
00:26:23
Speaker
Uh, as a voiceover actor, um, what, what has, has authenticity meant to you in your career through all of this being in front of the public eye, maybe not visually, but with your voice, how, what is authenticity meant to you? Uh, well, with the voiceover, like in terms of that.
00:26:44
Speaker
And, and yeah, in your, in your voiceover or even just how you portray yourself, um, in general via podcasts. Um, yeah. Um, I think you show up so authentic, authentically you, um, and it's something that I think may be hard for a lot of people. Um, so how, how, how has that been, been a source of, you know, significance or pride for you? I've never been.
00:27:12
Speaker
dare I say vain. Um, I show up, I look presentable generally. Uh, I know I'm overweight. I know, I know all these things. Um, there are people out there that, you know, shame other people for the way I would look, you know, um,
00:27:32
Speaker
I think there are people out there today that are being controversial for the sake of being controversial. I've been around the block enough to know that life is just, you got to do the best you can. And I put that out there all the time. And what you see is what you get. I freely admit,
00:27:53
Speaker
that I am a guy seven years into building, you know, another phase of a business. Uh, we still haven't gotten the plane off the ground and I freely admit that, you know, I'm not going to pretend that it's anything else. Uh, that's the realness that I want to project because it's easy to defend when you're, when you're telling the truth and you know, it's the truth, it's easy to defend when you're questioned about it.
00:28:19
Speaker
Well, this is this is just where I am. It's factual. We're moving in a forward direction. We're taking the next step. I'm not going to tell you that I drive Lambos or I've got money on a bed and, you know, rent, you know, these apartments that overlook an ocean and a beach and tell you that it's I'm not going to because people I've always been of the school of thought.
00:28:43
Speaker
especially formative years being in the 90s where authenticity was really starting to become a buzzword and that it took hold in the 2000s, early millennium. All you can be is real because otherwise people are gonna know.
00:28:59
Speaker
I don't care how hard you try. I don't care if you want to be the loudest person in the room, which a lot of these people tell. Well, if you want to make a difference, you want to get people's attention. You got to be the loudest person in the room. I see that being practiced right now with certain people. They're trying to be the loudest people in the room and show up constantly.
00:29:18
Speaker
They're getting no engagement. I'm, I'm not here to tell you that I'm getting tons of tons of engagement because I'm not on certain platforms. I am on others. I'm not. I freely tell people that, Hey, once upon a time I bought my Instagram followers. Not many people admit that they, you know, I know people who did, and they've got hundreds of thousands of quote followers that will never admit that I know for a fact that they did because it's, it's a vanity thing.
00:29:45
Speaker
Screw your vanity. At the end of the day, it's a legacy play, man. It's, it's, did you, did you just shoot straight, tell people what you think, you know, with tact and strategy, uh, cause at the end of your life, you want to be remembered for being integrous, not for being transactional and trying to take people's money. Um, I see a lot of that as well. I'm just, I'm just going to be the loudest person in the room because I want to sell a course. I want to sell, you know, coaching.
00:30:14
Speaker
And it's a one and done type of thing. I'm just going to take your money. And when you're done, it's going to, I'm going to gaslight you into thinking it's your fault that you failed and I'll move on. And you just weren't good enough. Um, there are, and it's at this, I sometimes I wonder, guys, do you even believe what your own, what you're, what you're saying? I think about that. It's the, it's the, it's an annoying thing for me. It really does rub me the wrong way. But, um, what I, what's annoying to me is that when I put stuff out there that is
00:30:42
Speaker
shooting from the hip that is truthful. It gets crickets. So the algorithms love vanity. Yes. You know? Yeah. Yeah. As I now say earlier about just like the engagement and even the followers and everything is, is you can't control the algorithm. You can have the best content out there and
00:31:03
Speaker
Uh, if if organically the algorithm is not going to push it to somebody they're just not going to see it They might not might not follow and then I think vanity plays a role On the other side too of people who decide to follow you or not, right? Like go to a page and just simply because it has an m beside the number 1 million followers You may follow it without even diving deep into the content or what what's there? um, whereas somebody who has
00:31:29
Speaker
40 followers, um, may have the best content out and you're not going to follow them because it doesn't seem cool to do so. Um, and, and yeah. Well, you look on, even on LinkedIn, there are people that I know who are posting and I'm looking through it right now. There's people that I know, uh, who have a lot to offer and a lot of stripes and what they do. They've got longevity, uh, foundational principles that have made them successful in their area.
00:31:58
Speaker
And they put stuff up that's like, man, nobody's saying this stuff. And it's like crickets. And then you go to these other people that as long as you post a selfie that looks highly posed and completely phony, uh, you know, talking about the same old crap in every single post, retelling the same old stories, not really offering any iota of value other than to tease you into what the next step is.
00:32:24
Speaker
Those are the ones that get the exposure and they build these, you know, look at what I've done to build. No, what you've done is, is you're good looking. Okay. I don't know what you do. I mean, literally I watch these people, these heavyweights. I didn't LinkedIn. I have no idea what you do. Well, I've built this, you know, $50 million. Okay. Prove it. Show me your, show me your financials. I think that should be a requirement. If you're going to make that kind of a bold claim, then you are responsible to substantiate it.
Integrity in Business and Sales Experience
00:32:55
Speaker
I am the top 20 speaker. Oh, really? According to who? When did this happen? Why did nobody tell me?
00:33:05
Speaker
I've seen that I've seen that with I think even training programs that I've done I've done a couple of Some trainings around speaking and the business behind it and everything and some will tell some will actually get on there and tell people to To make it up to just make it up and say present all of these different
00:33:27
Speaker
accolades and things uh in a way to sell yourself but that's just not authentic and and like you said it'll get sniffed out if you if people are gonna know the best this that and this and you get on stage or you do whatever it is that you're saying you do well and you are terrible at it it's gonna be more harmful than good in the long run and so and that's been one yeah i've been one to to to more so downplay a lot of the things that i
00:33:54
Speaker
uh, am or believe that I am or have accomplished, uh, before I put the, the, you know, I'm the best this out there. It just, it doesn't even make sense to me. Like even, even as a like bestselling author was hard for me to say that because I know that those terms can come out and of, I can, I can, I could sell one copy of a book. I know, I know how to do this. So one copy of a book.
00:34:20
Speaker
Amazon's going to rank it as a bestseller and it, I'm a, I'm technically a bestselling author, but it means absolutely nothing. And so what, for me, it, it came a time to where there was a certain number of book sales that I was like, even though I've already accomplished bestselling author in some very respectable categories, when I get this number of book sales, that's when I will call myself that. And it took longer than when I was actually a bestselling author before that happened. So.
00:34:48
Speaker
I mean, you know, that's an integral standpoint. Um, I've, I remember, you know, being, uh, when I was in the radio industry, uh, fighting off the other radio stations, when we knew for, for a fact that we were the number one talk station in Las Vegas.
00:35:04
Speaker
And we were, you know, it was us and a handful of other stations, uh, mostly on the AM dial. Uh, but we were for sure the number one. And then we'd hear one of our competitors say, well, we're the number one. Well, okay. Substantiated. What are you talking about? We've got the arbitron book right here. Now you're on your number one in, uh, you know, adults 35 to 44, uh, from nine to noon on Saturday.
00:35:33
Speaker
So yeah, I guess you can say you're the number one talk station in that genre, in that time slot. And that's how they would spin it. That's how they would spin it. We got a competitor with the lighting industry here.
00:35:48
Speaker
Because one of the businesses I run or partner in is a lighting company that produces full color lighting shows for car washes and other commercial facilities, jump parks, things of that nature. And we've got a competitor that says all their stuff's made in the USA. And I'm like, no, it isn't. You're lying. You know, substantiate that. Because I know for a fact, all LED material is sourced and manufactured in China. There's no way around it.
00:36:15
Speaker
They own all the rare earth metals when it comes to led technology. And that's one of the candor things that we put out there. No, we're not made in the USA. Just admit it. You know, furthering that even in the car business, when I, after I got out of radio, I went to the car business for a season, um, you know, they would quote, load your lips with what to say to the customer. And as a 38 year old man, 37 at the time,
00:36:39
Speaker
I had been around the block in life to know enough that I, I'm not comfortable saying the things you're telling me to say because I need, I need to have the integrity and the peace of mind to put my head down on a pillow at night. And if I'm lying to these people, like you want me to do, I can't do that. So I would have to learn the fundamentals of selling, but find my voice and then
00:37:01
Speaker
It was amazing when you just shot straight with people how the defenses came down. Well, hey, this doc fee is, you know, extra profit. I would go, yeah, it is. And they had to be shocked.
00:37:14
Speaker
Wow. I said, yeah, sometimes, sometimes, yeah, sometimes the cars don't make as much money as you think. Um, you know, and, and the doc fee is there to make sure the people that do the paperwork at your licensing, all your plates and tags registration process that there's some money to make sure they're being paid. Cause yeah, sometimes the new cars don't make that much money where you're not going 10 to 15% off of them.
00:37:37
Speaker
like we are that knocks out a lot of the profit as much as you don't think it is. Well, you're, you know, you, how much, what am I going to get for financing? And, and, and one dealership, promise them, you know, 0.99%. I'm like, but we don't know that. Have we pulled their credit?
00:37:54
Speaker
No, just tell them that. No. No, I can't. I cannot stand that. I can't stand being so too. And I don't really like selling like I want. I want it. If I have to sell something, I'm going to sell it from a standpoint of like, I truly believe in this, like this works and it works this way. And the value that you're paying for it is it's worth that or more. I don't want to take advantage of anyone when it comes to selling something like
00:38:21
Speaker
you will find out exactly the person you are if you get into the car business. I mean, if you're, cause there are really two types of people out there. They're transactional people. There are relational people. I knew that the law, it would take longer to build a business base by being relational. Now I could be transactional, but I had to do it with integrity. Hey, you know, I'm going to try and close you. I would tell them,
00:38:44
Speaker
You know, after the fourth no, I typically get a yes. So don't be surprised if I ask you over and over again, if you want to buy the car, it would elicit a laugh. It would loosen things up. But the way I said it, the way I, you know, found my voice, it was able to just disarm them. Generally, you know, 90% of the time, of course, you're going to have your people that were completely standoffish, no matter what.
00:39:07
Speaker
Um, but I would just try and, you know, use humor as my, my ally and my tool to disarm them, to bring the wall down. But at the end of a transaction, you know, I just, not that I had a meeting out of my hand, it was just, they trusted you. And by that time you could ask for the second money, which was.
00:39:25
Speaker
Hey, when you go into finance, they're going to offer you a whole bunch of other things. As I'm sure, you know, here are the three items that I get behind. I love the fact that I have extended warranty. I can do prepaid maintenance and man on a Mercedes Benz, those tires and wheels, they do cost a fortune. So if it works well within the bandwidth of your payment, I would strongly consider moving forward on these. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. Can I get you a water soda? You know, while we're waiting, you know, and it's just, it was as simple as that.
00:39:53
Speaker
You know, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't rocket surgery. You're. You just love that. You just reminded me of I see I'm a sucker for the dad jokes. Remember when when I was on your podcast, I will laugh at them all day long. I know rocket surgery is not a thing, you know.
00:40:14
Speaker
What I was gonna say is you reminded me of an experience that I just had recently where I went to a resort to get away from some of this cold weather. And right after you check into the hotel or into the resort, there is a group that comes up to you and is like, hey, we're gonna offer you this money or you can spend it on whatever, but we wanna just show you around our other resort.
00:40:41
Speaker
And I've never had anybody come up to me and do that. And so I was like, Oh yeah, let's do it. And so I get there and I go to the other resort, uh, me and my wife and, and there's, there's a three hour walk around this resort that give us lunch. And then there's a presentation where it's all sales and selling hard on how to get you to sign up for this membership, to keep you coming to our resorts for every vacation of your life for the next 60 years or whatever it was. And.
00:41:10
Speaker
It was just the total opposite of what I like how I like to go about, you know, being approached about anything and so I was the one I was the customer that was absolutely no absolutely standoffish the entire time but
00:41:27
Speaker
I think one, just as a bit of advice to anybody who hasn't had that experience, it may come if you go to a resort and you see somebody coming up and it sounds too good to be true. Just know that you're going to be in an uncomfortable situation for hours. It felt like being a hostage.
00:41:44
Speaker
And, uh, it wasn't, it wasn't genuine. It wasn't authentic. It was the person, the main person that was guiding us around. Shout out to Mario. He was, he was a very genuine guy, but the rest of the people that were a part of his team were just, uh, so off putting that whole experience. And I will never sit through one of those. I don't even care how much money they offer or how many nights they offer. It just, it wasn't, it didn't feel good at all.
00:42:11
Speaker
Those are high pressure, very transactional types of approaches and they'll do everything they can to try and close you. We had that same experience in 2016. We were able to take our kids and family to Disney for the first time and you had to sit through the three hour presentation and see the properties and all that stuff.
00:42:30
Speaker
I'm like, dude, I just got out of the car business. I know exactly all your tactics. You're not going to sell me anything. It doesn't make any sense. So let's just wrap it up. Wrap it up. That's what I was saying. I was like, listen, I signed up for an hour and a half. We've been here for three hours. I got to go. You can offer me all the champagne. I wasn't drinking. I wasn't doing any of that. But yeah, it was highly annoying. So the thing that really got me
00:42:55
Speaker
Uh, we left and we were like, they went from that whole package being $70,000 to being so desperate to make a sale that it got, we got them down to $10,000. You know, I'm like, so you were just going to rip me off at the beginning and, you know, but even still no, no sale, no sale for you today.
00:43:15
Speaker
That's what I call signaling. Yeah. But I want to hear because I feel like you're a man of true wisdom and your wisdom from your car sales day, your car selling days.
Building Confidence in Luxury Car Sales
00:43:29
Speaker
You told me a story when I was on your podcast about someone coming to you and I guess empowering you in a way that you hadn't seen in yourself and seeing yourself
00:43:43
Speaker
and what you were able to do, what your potential was. Can you speak to that story and talk about what you learned through that?
00:43:50
Speaker
Yeah, and it was, I don't know what that phenomenon is called, because it just happened to my business partner recently, too. It's similar to where, you know, if you're married, if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend or anything, your spouse, your significant other, you try and tell them that they're beautiful, right? And of course, you got to tell me that you're with me, but it isn't until
00:44:14
Speaker
They're at the grocery store and someone comes up to them and asks them out for a coffee or something. They get all kerfuffle. I want to say it's called cognitive bias, but I could be wrong. That is essentially what happened here. I was at the Honda dealership where I started in the car business. Thought I was always just...
00:44:38
Speaker
destined to sell that brand because I knew the demographic. I've owned several Hondas. I understood it. We owned as a dealership group. We owned other highline brands. We had Porsche, BMW, Mercedes. I think that was about it. I wouldn't exactly qualify.
00:44:57
Speaker
mini as luxury, but they were part of the BMW family. But anyway, I had this one customer, and every time I would walk into the BMW store, it was intimidating. It just felt like these people were cut from a different cloth. And I felt like an imposter being in the actual dealership, even though I worked for the same company. And of course, walking into a dealership like that, I would always tell myself, oh my gosh, there's no way I'll ever be able to afford a car like this.
00:45:26
Speaker
you know, strike two. And I had this one customer at Honda who was in the car business himself once upon a time. And we took out a Honda Accord, he just wanted a simple car to drive around, daily driver. And he says, you know, you really need to be selling Highline. Okay, you know, never really saw myself in that kind of a role, but what makes us say that? He says, I've dealt with a lot of car business, car salespeople over the years.
00:45:55
Speaker
You're cut, you're different. There's a way that you present yourself and you're best suited in a high line dealership. I said, so like a Lexus, it goes exactly. I said, I just, I don't know. I just never, he's like, you can totally do it. You need to believe that. And I don't know you from Adam. I bear, we've been, we've known each other for maybe a half an hour so far, but you need to look into that.
00:46:21
Speaker
And that was it. I mean, my mother, my father, my brother, my wife could tell me to their blue in the face. Oh yeah, you could totally do it. Not that I wouldn't believe them. It's just that you have that bias of, well, you have to say that. And of course you think I can because you're with me. But because a total stranger told me that.
00:46:42
Speaker
You know what? I'm going to take you up on it. I'll accept the challenge. And you know, lo and behold, we had a position open at the Mercedes dealership, which it was in the same group. Uh, I put in for a transfer in the middle of the month and getting back to the whole notion of the next thing here, I was leaving, uh, in the middle of the month, which is something you just don't do looking back on it because you want to finish out your month and make your paycheck.
00:47:05
Speaker
But I figured, well, I might as well jump now, start the year fresh, get my training and all the things because they wouldn't let you take a customer until you did a certain amount of training. And with, you know, Honda being not myopic, but a narrow scope of product offering to a Mercedes where it's like, my goodness, everywhere you look was options.
00:47:25
Speaker
You know, you had to learn all the different class of cars and the engines, you know, not necessarily the intricacies like the horsepower and torque and stuff like that. But I really got into the, you know, the story of the brand. But, you know, getting back, I'm getting off track here. The first thing was to get past all my testing and start by the end of the month, at least start taking five to 10 ups.
00:47:52
Speaker
And I knew I wanted to sell my first car dare I say, pop my cherry by the end of the month. You know, that was what it was called.
00:48:02
Speaker
It was almost like a celebratory thing. Every time a month would start, I would call my wife or text her and be like, hey, got my cherry for the month. And as crude as it sounds. But those were the things to be done. And even though I was a true, like again, it was Vegas all over again. Fish out of water. I was around all these people that had been there for years. And I was the new guy. It's never fun being the new guy.
00:48:29
Speaker
And just to kind of get familiar with the cars, I would offer myself to the other sales people, hey, if you need me to go take a customer's car that you're about to deliver, get gassed up or take back detail, give me the keys. I'll handle it for you just to kind of build goodwill with people, but also be a servant and also to get myself familiarized with the cars.
00:48:54
Speaker
And in turn, they would actually help me out. Hey, what does this mean when the triangle comes up on the mirror, you know, and little nuances of the cars that were kind of neat, you know, every trunk space in the Mercedes has got to accommodate a full set of golf clubs. I had no idea, you know, those types. Yeah, it's, you know, little.
00:49:11
Speaker
interesting nuances that they design nuances they would put into these cars, that I could then tell my clients, isn't that cool? You know, just, I just found this out. I'm new here. You know, that was the biggest tool I had was to I'm new. But then that was those were just a culmination of next things.
00:49:28
Speaker
that I had to use in that vulnerable state that I was in. So here I was starting all over again after, you know, getting out of a business where I dominated, I was the man in radio. And then I got out of it. And I had to start I was a fish out of water. My gosh, it was not a fun time.
00:49:45
Speaker
three to four months of being in a car dealership. Not sure if I made the right decision. Am I really good at this? I'm 37 years old. What am I doing? I've got stuff on the line. I got a mortgage to pay for. I've got, you know, four dependents. I've got insurances. I've got a car. It's like everything could just go to crap. And then here I am, you know, six months after going through all that.
00:50:09
Speaker
doing it again in a different dealership. You wanna talk about just man, but I just, I had the confidence and surety to say, no, I'm just gonna make this work. It has to, it has to. I think I hate that we have that we can look up the term and if you know the term, tell us the term, but cognitive bias or whatever it is, I hate that we have that, we possess that, that we possess negativity bias and we see things from a negative standpoint
00:50:37
Speaker
and often are more critical of ourselves than anybody else. And I think I've possessed the critical aspect of looking at myself so much throughout my life.
Redefining Success and Personal Fulfillment
00:50:52
Speaker
And I feel I know where it comes from. I always say, there's a record playing in the back of my head. And it's voices, certain voices, certain people in my life, whether it be my mom or whether it be somebody from
00:51:06
Speaker
you know, when I was younger, telling me something that has just stuck. And that became a belief, a core belief. Do you think any of that has played a role in your life? And how have you or have you overcome it?
00:51:21
Speaker
One of the things that was told to me over and over again in my formative high school years was, you know, if you don't go to college and get your degree, you're not going to amount to much of life. Even going to the trade school, which was the other option where we grew up, was called Henry Abbott Technical.
00:51:37
Speaker
vocational school and you learned all the trades, plumbing, things of that nature, electrical. The kids that went there were, I mean, I remember I was guilty of it looking down on them. Oh, you couldn't hack it in high school. So you've got to go to Henry Abbott Tech and
00:51:55
Speaker
Learn how to be a printer or something like that and learn a trade because you're not destined for the white collar jobs like we are. That was the hard lesson and that was just carrying that around.
00:52:09
Speaker
being a blue collar worker even after high school in a sea of, here I am in the Northeast, one of the most affluent counties in the country, if not the world, Westchester County, New York, where everybody's white collar and if you were coming into
00:52:28
Speaker
you know, fix their phone system or put in a wall plug or an outlet or a switcher or a light or something like that. I mean, you were looked down upon. It was like you were a servant. Occasionally I understood that my natural way about me, the way I would do things and talk to people kind of won them over. But at first it was like, you know, servants over here come, this is where you're going to have to, you know, work for us, that kind of thing.
00:52:56
Speaker
It was it was it was a reality and that lived with me even getting in the radio because Well, I'll never make a hundred thousand dollars a year. I'll never have financial success because I never went to college I don't have that degree and It was one time I my brother-in-law married a girl I went to high school with we were in the same grade she was of a different
00:53:25
Speaker
hangout group. She was more preppy. I was more of the burnout. I had a mullet. I had a long trench coat. I had this, you know, hung out with all the smokers, listened to Metallica and mega death and anthrax and all that and just not cool. I was cool in my own circle, but not to the rest of the cool school in a school cool. And
00:53:45
Speaker
It's funny because in senior year I understand the, I became more of a overlap or into other groups and I understood the nuance of that back then. And I take that with me now, but anyway, um, she married my brother-in-law and by proxy we were reunited. Uh, my wife and I were still living in Las Vegas. Uh, we visited for a Christmas time, uh, back in Connecticut to her family.
00:54:09
Speaker
And this girl, Megan, who was engaged to my brother-in-law at the time, was having like a get together at her apartment. Now, all these people have gone to college. They've all graduated. They on the surface seem to be doing very well. And we went to this event, this get together she was having with all these people that I hadn't seen in 10 years at the time. And it was like a high school reunion on a micro scale.
00:54:37
Speaker
And the class president, great guy. Even when I knew him in high school, he was just a good human being. I saw him. We didn't really know each other in high school. We knew we all of each other. We were acquainted. But I saw him. He saw me at this event. We get talking. Hey, how have you been? It's been a long time. What you doing? He asked me what I do. I said, you know, I live in Vegas. I work for CBS Radio out there, Infinity Radio at the time.
00:55:03
Speaker
Uh, you know, money's not all that great, but man, I love getting up in the morning. It's a lot of fun. It's a fun life, very rich with experience and we'll see where it goes. You know, I had the confidence to say that and he just looked at me and he goes, I would love to just love what I do. And I, and I, I was one of those moments that I always remember a bookmark moment where I go. What do you mean? He's like, I do really well.
00:55:33
Speaker
But I can't stand what I do. I hate my job. And I heard my brother in my head. If you get up every day wondering why you have to do something, you're in the wrong thing. And it's at that point where I really like the table started turning and the self talk started taking a different direction. I said, you know, at least I took a path less traveled and it's working out. We're not there. Fast forward to when I was in the Mercedes dealership.
00:56:00
Speaker
I had a customer another memorable bookmark life moment who
00:56:06
Speaker
She and I got along fabulously, you know, but here I was again in another business that was kind of like trending down. And I was 37, 38 at the time. And she was just one of these people that she brought her car back in after I sold she and her husband a car. So it was a two car sale and she brought it back in to have some things done to it. So while that was happening, we were just, you know, shooting the breeze. And all of a sudden I just, I got vulnerable with her buddy and she was this easy to talk to.
00:56:36
Speaker
And I said, you know, here I am, I'm pushing 40. And, you know, we all tell ourselves when we're 18, by the time we're 40, we're gonna have, you know, a quarter million dollars in the bank, we're gonna have all these stuff going on and blah, blah, blah. And I said, I've got nothing. And I said, we were able to keep my wife home with the kids and make sure that she was there for them. I said, but I've worked all my life, I'm still now, I've got nothing in the bank to show for it.
00:57:03
Speaker
And she stopped me dead on my tracks by saying that. She says, man, you are so hard on yourself. And I was like, it was like a punch to, you know, shot between the eyes. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Why do you say that? You have everything.
00:57:23
Speaker
You just don't realize it. All of your wealth, all of this stuff, you realize you can make up for that. But your time with your kids, how you're pouring into them, the presence that you're showing them in their formative years, being children, they're not being raised by somebody else. The mother's there with them, as it should be. And you can't take that away from them. They're always gonna have that.
00:57:45
Speaker
Yeah. And I said, thank you. Well, I really need to hear that. That was a life changing moment. Wow. You know, I got chills just hearing that that's going to be something that I feel whoever's listening to this, like, I hope you grasp that because I mean, at any age, at whatever age, if your life can be fulfilled with with certain things that you can take away and say that
00:58:11
Speaker
I find success in that. I find success in not only the monetary, but the way that I show up in the world, the way that I am perceived by other people, the way that I genuinely serve and care for others. That is true success to me. And I love that you had that experience in those eye-opening moments to be able to see the greatness that is within you.
00:58:38
Speaker
I'm proud of you. I'm extremely proud of you. You've done some fantastic thing. And I looked at your website and it has a lot of awards. So y'all get a chance. I'm going to drop the link to the website, but just go through and see some of the amazing things that Jim does. I want to go through a couple more of those questions, kind of how I rattled them off in the beginning. And you just give me whatever is on your mind.
00:59:04
Speaker
The first one, what comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability? It's not a bad thing. Embrace it. Embrace vulnerability. Uh, if you can have a conversation with anyone living or dead, who would it be and why? Christ Jesus. Hmm.
00:59:33
Speaker
even though we should be doing that on a daily basis anyway, through prayer, which I feel at. You're so hard on yourself. I know. I see what you did there.
00:59:47
Speaker
Other than that, I'm trying to think of anybody else. I always thought, and I reached out to him before, I've always wanted to have a conversation with Barack Obama. I think he'd be a cool dude to talk to. Oh my gosh, yes. We're friends and I'm going to send you his... No, I'm kidding.
01:00:06
Speaker
That would be one I would love to have a conversation with Barack I sent him a copy of my book when it came out and was like fingers crossed his agent or I guess agent or published to somebody Responded to me, which I felt like that was really genuine, but I never heard anything about this I and mind you I never voted for him. Mm-hmm. So, I mean it's not I wouldn't want to talk politics with him. I
01:00:32
Speaker
I just think it would be a cool guy to talk to. He always just seemed like, you know, he had the beer summit in the first early part of his candidacy and, uh, or his administration. And I was like, you know, that's, that's pretty, that's cool, man. Yeah. Credit to him. Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:47
Speaker
This is a question. So I just added this question because one of the I sent out a poll on social media and it was like, what is one of the hardest things to say? You know, thank you. I'm sorry. I love you. Whatever. And the overwhelming response was I need help was the hard thing for people to say. And so I think it would be I'm sorry.
01:01:14
Speaker
Maybe that maybe that's Jim's answer. But but but with that, with all the things that you have going on, what is something that you need help with right now?
Struggles with Social Media Algorithms
01:01:26
Speaker
Just, you know, trying to understand the ever changing world of algorithms. I know I have something to say. I guess I'm just not doing it right. You know, I was told to me the other day on my YouTube channel, oh, my gosh, you got to be doing this. You got to change this. And I'm like, OK, what do you charge?
01:01:43
Speaker
You know, cause I'm, I'm at a point in my life. I can't take it. I can't spend any more plates. Um, and I don't, I don't really want to spend my time understanding that kind of thing. I have better things to spend my time on. So, you know, the vulnerability aspect of any CEO business owner is understanding what you're not good at. That's a superpower buddy right there. Um, not knowing what you're good at and getting the people around you that are that can fill in those gaps.
01:02:12
Speaker
Another superpower, getting back to that question, is being an encourager to the person you used to be. Anytime you come across somebody who's been or is in the place where you were, you're obligated to help them out and encourage them, because you know what it's like.
01:02:33
Speaker
Yes. Oh, my God. I love you. Sorry. I love that. No, I absolutely love that. And it's going to lead into this next question that is about a person that you used to be. What is one of your favorite childhood memories? Oh, man.
01:02:52
Speaker
You know, it's funny. It was just reminded me of the, there's so many of them. It's, it's a hard question to answer, but as of late, and it was just reminded me of my wife brought it up. She says, remember when you used to sit in the backyard with the kids in the garden hose and the sprayer and used to ask them questions and if they got it wrong, they would get sprayed. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I forgot that. And then I, you know, I remind my daughter who's 17 right now,
01:03:17
Speaker
And she said something I said remember in the backyard we used to take she's like the hose and used to ask us the questions like I love that game and it just warmed my heart that was this week that happened I was like oh man that's that's cool because at the time you know you have no idea
01:03:34
Speaker
If, you know, I was just trying to fill time because my wife was working on the weekends. My kids were small. It's kind of a drag because you're the dad and, you know, you don't know what to do with the kids, but you're just trying to make up stuff as you go along. So I came up with this game of, you know, it was a hot summer day. We didn't have any, you know, kiddie pools or anything like that. So, hey, let's get the sprinkler out, you know, and it's like, you know, yeah, let's do that. But as an adult, you're like, oh, it's a sprinkler. You got to set it up and get the freak.
01:04:00
Speaker
hose and there's grass clippings that get on their feet you know so I would instead I'm like you know how can I just sit in the chair and entertain them I'll just grab the sprayer and you know I'm gonna ask you three questions if you get the answer wrong I'm spraying yeah and even if they got it right I'd spray them
01:04:21
Speaker
And they ate it up. They loved it. I forgot about that until my wife reminded me. That's a great memory. Wow. That's a really good memory. Thank you. I'm going to dig deeper because I want I want pre I want an under 18 gym. Oh, okay. Before that credit card debt before or the credit issue. A memory from from your childhood that you find that is very fun.
01:04:47
Speaker
You know, being that I lost my dad in 06 and
01:04:53
Speaker
Anything, I remember the man he was when we were growing up, he was always cognizant to tell my brother and I that he loved us and he wasn't afraid to tell us. And as kids, when you're growing up hearing that, you're going, okay, of course you're our dad. But as you get older, you realize that that didn't happen to him.
01:05:19
Speaker
Um, so I guess he made a point in his life too. Well, when I have kids, I'm going to tell them and they're going to know that their dad loves them. Um, and you know, would show us affection and would, you know, love on us and stuff like that. I, uh, one of the ways he would do that was with fishing. So he was a huge fisherman, uh, had the toys at the RV, the boat he would tow behind the RV and, uh, numerous fishing trips I would go just, he and I.
01:05:47
Speaker
And one of those things that indelibly sticks in my mind is whenever I hear the Beach Boys, because one of the memories was every time we'd go out 30 miles offshore in the Atlantic Ocean and go trolling, we would play the Beach Boys, just he and I.
Cherished Memories and Regrets in Family Connections
01:06:07
Speaker
Those are some great memories because I didn't really enjoy fishing.
01:06:13
Speaker
Now, if I revisit it as an adult, maybe I will. But as a kid, as early as in my thing, but hey, dad, I want to go with you. I want to spend time with you. And we'd have good conversations. I have one more to qualify with that. But looking back on it, going out in a single engine boat 30 miles offshore was not exactly the best decision. But I think as a kid, you don't think about this. The other aspect of that was fishing in Lake Ontario. So we used to tow the boat up there summer trip, just he and I.
01:06:43
Speaker
again, listening to the Beach Boys, Lake Ontario, might as well be an ocean, as you get out far enough, you can't see land. And it was a hot day, probably about 95 degrees. And we were just sweltering. And I'm like, man, what's the temperature of the water? He's like, ah, it's like 75, okay. I'm like, I'm just so high. He's like, strip down and jump in, cool yourself. I'm like, really? Yeah, who's around, who's gonna see you?
01:07:11
Speaker
All right, so I did, jumped in, swam around for a bit, and I'm like, you know, calling out to him like, hey, just out of curiosity, what's the depth? He goes, and he looks over at the thing, he goes, we're at 850 feet. I'm like, I'm coming in.
01:07:26
Speaker
I'm done. That would have been my answer too. Yeah. There's way too many bigger things down there that could, I'm like, ah, that freaks me out now. Oh my goodness. Wow. That's terrifying. Terrifying. Uh, this one just popped in my head and it's based off of something you said earlier, but I want you to think for about seven seconds, maybe 10 seconds, however long it takes for you to think of a person that you haven't said I'm sorry to.
01:07:55
Speaker
or want to say, I'm sorry to. And with that, I mean, you can talk about that moment or simply say the words, I'm sorry if you feel it. But I'm just it was I was about that when you said that that that may have been your answer to some of the hardest things to say. I'm trying to think about it comes to mind.
01:08:27
Speaker
I mean, I guess it would have to do with my dad and say that in the last years of his life, I'm sorry, I wasn't as available as I could have been. I lived in Vegas and they were in Florida at the time. Actually, no, we had just moved to Nashville, so we were even closer. In the last days of his life, I was there.
01:08:49
Speaker
by circumstance of him wanting to go on a trip to Alaska, and that's a whole separate story, but leading up to those years that I could have probably made a bit more of an effort to be a part of his life or maybe call him more, that's what comes to mind, I guess.
01:09:08
Speaker
But I mean, saying sorry, I was talking about in the terms of even with a spouse, I try and challenge myself to beat her to the punch because she's world class at apologizing first. And I tend to take a little bit longer until you let the conflict subside, so to speak. But she's really good at
01:09:33
Speaker
making that a quick thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, good. Good question, though. No, I appreciate that. And I with with I mean, you are a great conversation. I think I could be on here for the rest of the night, really. But I want to let you go. I want to be respectful of your time. But how can people get in touch with you? How can they support your your mission and everything that you're doing?
01:10:02
Speaker
Well, everything is at Jim McCarthy voiceovers dot com or J M V O S dot com. The other website, if you're looking to get a podcast produced is it's your show dot co. So it's alliterative and it rhymes. But a lot of my socials will be at the Jim McCarthy voice oversight for sure, if you want to follow along. And, you know, as far as being encouraging to other people, those people that are on LinkedIn,
01:10:30
Speaker
that aren't getting engagement that we all come across. Leave a comment, leave a like. Let's start a movement. You know, I love that. I try to do that for people. If I believe in what they're doing, I you know, if it's a thoughtful comment, I'll leave it. I'll certainly give the thumbs up just because, you know, I wish more people would do that for me.
01:10:52
Speaker
So my badge will be the example. Wow. I love that. I love that. I'm going to start doing that too. So thank you for that reminder. Jim, with all the things that you can be doing and all the places that you could be, I appreciate you being here with me, embracing vulnerability. Thanks for having me on, pal. Thank you for joining us for another powerful episode of Vulnerability Muscle. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights that resonate with you. If you're enjoying this journey of self-discovery and empowerment,
01:11:20
Speaker
There are a few ways you can support the podcast. First, make sure to hit that subscribe button so that you never miss an episode. If you've been moved by our conversations and the mission of redefining vulnerability, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback not only motivates us, but also helps others discover the podcast. Share your thoughts on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune in. And don't forget to spread the word.
01:11:45
Speaker
Follow us on Instagram at Vulnerability Muscle for updates, and you can connect me personally at Reggie D Ford on all platforms. Visit VulnerabilityMuscle.com for additional resources and upcoming episodes. And remember, embracing vulnerability is strength. Thanks for being a part of the journey. Until next time, stay empowered, stay vulnerable, and keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.