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Episode 63: Relaxation as a Skill
36 Plays2 months ago
We are both back - finally!
This weeks episode is all about how we can think about relaxation as a skill - something we can train ourselves in. We even featured a little mediation at the end. Please enjoy!
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Transcript
Introduction to Wounded Healers Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Wounded Healers podcast.
00:00:10
Speaker
I'm Janessa. And I'm Amy. We were brought together by our shared wound of an autoimmune condition in our early 20s. This is a place where we explore our wounds with our listeners and guests who recognize the challenges of being human in hopes of helping all of us let the light
Personal Struggles and Creativity
00:00:27
Speaker
in.
00:00:27
Speaker
hi everybody, welcome back to the Wounded Healers podcast. um Not only are you back, but I'm also back and we're both back together, um which feels so good.
00:00:43
Speaker
Yes, it totally does. It feels like it's been forever, yeah but also not forever. um so yeah, we're just happy to be here with you guys. Yeah, we're happy. Obviously, Janessa said in her last video that she was working through some stuff.
00:01:00
Speaker
I have also been working through some stuff, which is why we haven't been recording. Exactly like Janessa said in her solo episode, i don't know we're going to want to talk about what happened here.
00:01:17
Speaker
i think I probably i could in time, but at the moment I i haven't even told like people in my real life what's happened. what's happened so um definitely not the time for me to share anything now but I'm yeah sorry if you missed us hopefully you missed us yeah yeah we missed you guys it's yeah definitely been a season for both of us in different ways and also super kind of universe for it to all kind of coincide at the same time but different paths and yeah we're just happy to be here and again you know
00:01:56
Speaker
it's a gift to have you here it's a gift to be here and it's a gift to share ourselves with you and we'll just be processing this um but just know that you guys are a very big spot of sunshine in our lives to come back to while we're doing that exactly that's what this really felt because I've been kind of um you know somewhat lingering on thoughts about myself and my future and stuff like that So it was actually really nice to have a think about going back to putting something out there that um kind of took me outside of myself a little bit.
00:02:31
Speaker
And doing something creative, obviously, is always, we know how valuable that is for when you're...
Focus on Relaxation and Inspiration from Melody Beattie
00:02:38
Speaker
processing a hard time processing anything really um so yes what a what a good time to be back and this episode is going to be centered around relaxation which we we have already done an episode on relaxation probably not really that long ago but it was a little bit more just me talking about how much I love ironing and not really the
00:03:04
Speaker
Not really like, I think today's approach is going to be a little bit more about like the spiritual side of relaxation, maybe the the physical effects on your body and the spiritual ease that you can find through relaxation. Yeah.
00:03:21
Speaker
And so, yeah it's um the inspiration for the episode is from a little like meditative day book that I've been reading. Every single one of you that's listening will have heard of it because is all over the like,
00:03:40
Speaker
um chronic illness or just generally wellness Instagrammers and bloggers and YouTubers, they all talk about it. It's Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart.
00:03:51
Speaker
So a real classic um that I know people have been in, but i this is my first time getting into it. I actually, I had it on Facebook the kindle on my phone for a long time and I never got through it um and I finally brought the paper back and that's been much more practical for me every night to read it, underline it.
00:04:17
Speaker
Janessa inspired me because she is always sending me snippets of books that she's been reading and she always Fun fact about Janessa, she always highlights books, whatever it is. So I've just been like, maybe that's what I need to start doing, like buying something physical and highlighting it.
00:04:34
Speaker
And it really worked. And yeah, i found some inspiration straight away. yeah. And yeah, should I just, should I just yeah read the meditation? Yeah, let's hop into it. read and I also just want to say when you said she highlights books, I'm so honored. And also I know there's going to be a listener out there who's just so irked by that. And I'm so sorry, but I do love highlighting books. i have friends who are like, don't write in the book. I'm like, I'm going write in that book, baby.
00:05:01
Speaker
Anyway. Just now that I appreciate you all the clean book people, but that is not I. Yeah, no, I think it's bringing it bringing it to life a little bit more. um Okay, so this meditation is called Relax.
00:05:16
Speaker
Relax. Too often, out of sheer habit, we tighten up, tense up, and then approach life from that stance. When we have something to do, our automatic response may be to tense up, shoulders and neck strained, back bent and cramped,
00:05:35
Speaker
breathing shallow, but anything that needs to be done can be done better if we're relaxed. Learn to relax, program your body, each part of it, to let go and be at ease.
00:05:50
Speaker
Allow yourself to come into your natural posture and alignment. Learn to relax until moving, acting, speaking, being, all come naturally from this relaxed place.
00:06:05
Speaker
Find activities that help you do this. ah hot bar A steam bath, a massage, sunning, walking, meditating. Teach yourself to become aware of how your body feels during these activities.
00:06:21
Speaker
memorize that feeling, practice relaxing until you can recall that memory and carry it throughout your day. Periodically throughout the day, take a few moments to check your tension level.
00:06:37
Speaker
If you find any part of your body tense, take a few more moments to consciously relax that part. Visualise warmth and ease flooding any part of your body that has become tight or is in pain.
00:06:52
Speaker
Let the tension, distress the stress, the blocks drain out from the top to the bottom. Your body wants to relax. It wants to become comfortable.
00:07:02
Speaker
It wants to heal itself. Empty your mind of tense thoughts and let it follow your body into relaxation and calm. Allow your mind to become still.
00:07:14
Speaker
Quietly accept each thought, then release it. Breathe in comforting, healing energy. Breathe it into your mind, into each cell of your body.
00:07:26
Speaker
Breathe out stress, strain, discomfort and fear. Don't resist what you are thinking and feeling. Accept it, then release it. Just as water cannot pass naturally through a pinched hose, your vital life force cannot flow freely through you if you are cramped and tense.
00:07:49
Speaker
Honor the life force that is in you that flows through you. Honor it by relaxing, opening to it and inviting it to surge through your body.
00:08:02
Speaker
The techniques of relaxation will refresh, restore and recharge you so that you can do all that you need to do with more power and vigor than before.
00:08:14
Speaker
Anything that needs to be done can be done better if you're relaxed.
00:08:21
Speaker
yes I like that i was like oh and also your your accent while reading I closed my eyes I was like i am relaxed I am relaxed um good I was putting it i will say I was putting it on a little bit there doing the extra I mean you gotta that's about relaxing um so I mean a ton of that stands out to me which we will get into.
00:08:50
Speaker
But the first one, just straight off the bat, is that whole anything that needs to be done can be done better if you're relaxed. Because it's just the opposite of what we hear all the time.
00:09:04
Speaker
um Just there's never and a reminder to be relaxed in our daily life. Never, it's like from the minute we get up, it's just like notification, notification, news, weather, getting ready at work, oh my God, the the Teams messages, the Google chats, the emails.
00:09:26
Speaker
getting home, deciding what to eat, you know, the whole thing is just, there's never a reminder to be relaxed. It's always like, do the most you can, as fast as you can, as best as you
The Undervaluation of Relaxation in Society
00:09:38
Speaker
can. And and and yeah, it's such a powerful but simple reminder that anything that needs to be done can be done better if you're relaxed.
00:09:48
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. There's kind of like that. um I think of it as like the way of the world is not the way of the internal self. And we've talked about it before. But yeah, the the way of the world and what's.
00:10:05
Speaker
seen as a good way of being in it of being like overworked and stressed out that stuff is really celebrated and so when you practicing this form of rest and relaxation you are not choosing the way of the world but you're choosing the way of your inner self um which is like very much i don't know even how to state that it's rebellious on all kinds of levels in the right kind of way you want it to be yeah i'm um Yeah, love it. I love rebelling in a way that's healthy for us. You can't beat that.
00:10:39
Speaker
um So I'm going to start by asking Janessa, where are you holding tension right now? Yeah, that's a really good question. I, okay, I've always held tension in my job.
00:10:53
Speaker
And i think it's actually pretty noticeable about people be like, you know, or is your jaw okay? um But i I bite down a lot, especially when I'm going through physical pain. But I also do it when I'm going through emotional stress, I've noticed. um I don't know. I've always been like, I was a teeth grinder when I was younger. so I think it's just been a coping mechanism I've used.
00:11:15
Speaker
So right now, not too much, but a little bit of, I could feel it in my jaw when you're saying to like, let that lighten and notice where that is for you. So for me, for me, it's in my jaw.
00:11:27
Speaker
Nice. ah Not nice. Great. I know oh yeah what you mean though. It's good. We can, we know where it is.
00:11:38
Speaker
but Yeah, it really important to um acknowledge it and let it go. And I'm 100% the same. I feel it in my jaw. I feel it. When I'm trying to go to sleep at night, I even and like struggle to relax my jaw.
00:11:54
Speaker
Like I need to like, yeah, I need to like rearrange my whole face. um to relax my jaw and I think that is like a symptom of having done it for so long um another one where people commonly um hold tension is their posture so and um I am 100% guilty of this and to be honest I kind of feel like the jaw is just an an extension of this is the like holding it in your neck, holding your shoulders up to your ears.
00:12:31
Speaker
I actually kind of think also that this is why I have the most severe RA symptoms in my shoulders. because i have spent so much time of my life like clenching my shoulders up and also being diagnosed with RA doesn't help that because that just makes you more stressed um but when it comes to your posture having constant tension can cause so real issues like rounded shoulders obviously but even just
00:13:05
Speaker
imbalance between your whole spine so being having crunched up shoulders can damage your lower back even because you're not balancing your weight weight evenly throughout your whole body um and this of course over time adds extra pressure on your joints and your ligaments making you more prone to pain stiffness and even injury um and if there's like a quote that i found i don't know where it's from but it's when the body is constantly bracing it forgets how to stand tall which is an important part of loving yourself and confidence is being able to stand tall and
00:13:49
Speaker
what a gift it to give yourself to put your shoulders back and put your best self forward um so yeah i think it's really worthwhile to pinpoint where you are holding tension right now listener and acknowledge whether that has become a habitual response for you whether that's something you're always doing and becoming more mindful about it and trying to ease up on it when you come Yeah.
00:14:20
Speaker
I was going to say, and of course, only if you're able to, and it feels good in your body, but if you find a flat surface, like if you go and lay on the floor, um usually i can tell where the tension is when I lay on a flat surface, not not anything that can absorb any kind of weight. um My body will kind of like, o will you'll need to like adjust a few times and then you'll you can notice, okay, the tension's like in my shoulders or lower back or it's you know in my knees and I'm having to wiggle out my legs more so if you're able to of course don't do anything that'll hurt you but um yeah that's how I can tell sometimes they lay down on the floor on the flat floor and I'm like all right there it is
00:15:08
Speaker
and And that is actually a really nice way to move into thinking about how we can cultivate awareness in our body if that's something that we're not used to because
Cultural Importance of Rest
00:15:25
Speaker
you lying flat on the floor can be a way to feel truly at ease because it is better for your alignment better for your life force as was mentioned in the meditation to come through you and so i think it's really valuable to lie down just as Janessa said
00:15:48
Speaker
Like whether you're not doing this right now, you can do it later. If you guys practice yoga, you'll know how good it feels to end your yoga practice with vinyasa. Wait, is it vinyasa? What is it called? so out of practice.
00:16:02
Speaker
Oh, you're good. Shavasana. Shavasana. um yeah ah how good it feels to be in shavasana and you kind of feel just like your body weight lift off of you um I think it's really important for us to memorize that feeling and it doesn't have to be when you're lying down it can be during any of your karma activities you guys will know which activities calm you but memorizing that feeling committing it to your brain and your body like a like a file on a computer and being able to access it when you need it so being able to go and get that file and being like opening it playing the file and bringing that feeling of relaxation into your body when you need it
00:16:55
Speaker
me I love that. That's like you were saying, going back to the whole like rest is important and how it's very worldly to ignore rest.
00:17:08
Speaker
um I was thinking on that too, that like it's. in a lot of older cultures that have been around for a long time and different practices and some religions, like there is a day dedicated to full rest.
00:17:24
Speaker
And that was actually really ah part of life in the past. And so it makes me think of one that I'm familiar with is like, okay, so a lot of people who practice Christianity know that Sundays are supposed to be just for rest.
00:17:40
Speaker
And like biblically, you're not supposed to work. um, or perform anything on a Sunday. It's a Sabbath. It's sacred. Um, so that's interesting to me because, you know, that comes from, at least in that religion and in different cultures, it's a little different, but that comes from the concept that something greater than yourself had to take a day of rest.
00:18:02
Speaker
just to create what it created. So that kind of gives me some kind of peace and understanding that if something so much larger than myself, so much greater than I can understand would need some rest, then I can't imagine how much rest I need, you know?
00:18:17
Speaker
So it's kind of nice to think of that, that there was a day dedicated in a lot of cultures to just no work, rest, be with family and rest. Yeah, which kind of brings us back to the beginning where we were saying um we it's seen that like and within our modern culture, being...
00:18:40
Speaker
being ah working at a fast pace, doing everything, being on the go is seen as powerful. And people that take a lot of time to rest are seen as lazy within their, like even within their family, like within within their own close personal families. Like for some people, relaxation can equal laziness.
00:19:05
Speaker
And bringing it back to the idea of God needing a day to rest kind of makes me think about rest being a source of power because you yeah can't work at the level you need to you can't get the best out of life you can't yeah take care of yourself without resting and it's not It's not more money, it's not social status, it's not achievement that brings you power, it's actually being able to look after to yourself and resting is a vital part of that. It's an essential part of your wellbeing.
00:19:47
Speaker
It's not an afterthought that can be done when everything else and is done. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's a really good point too. Like you said that there's no like way to confirm like the quantity of of rest and value of like the world can see to quantify it.
Mind-Body Connection and Relaxation
00:20:06
Speaker
And so I think in that case, even choosing that is inherently an act of self-resilience and like self-love because you know that the world around you doesn't benefit necessarily ah directly in that moment from me resting. Oh my gosh, my throat too.
00:20:24
Speaker
One second, let me cut that. um Okay, so no, rest is not quantifiable. And that because society isn't gaining from anything you're doing while you rest, it's inherently...
00:20:38
Speaker
a very beautiful way to love yourself and to take care of yourself because it's a choice to step back from what the world demands and to focus on what you need so yeah I think that's pretty powerful yeah and also obviously we i don't know I feel like you can't work at your optimum, like get the best out of life, like do the best for you and for other people if you don't have a good connection between your body and your mind. Like we have been here before and we've been through this before.
00:21:22
Speaker
in, I don't know, talking about compartmentalizing our pain and like pushing through pain in our body, um turning, numbing your thoughts and like working your body on autopilot, all of these things that disturb you and your physiological being in the long run if you're, yeah, doing any of those.
00:21:49
Speaker
you are most capable, able, your body is being most taken care of if you have a connection between your body and your mind. um And the relationship between your body and your mind is reciprocal. So when the body physically relaxes, the mind follows and vice versa as well. If you can relax your mind, your body will relax.
00:22:18
Speaker
And I think it's really easy for that to kind of come across as like, oh, like we hear that all the time. Like there's nothing we can do to control that. Like it can sometimes feel like your body's working on autopilot and that's running away from you or you can't lift yourself out of your thoughts and that is out of your power as well.
00:22:41
Speaker
um but you ah really do need to acknowledge your own responsibility within that. And like, of course it's okay for some days for you to be like, I'm just gonna wallow at my thoughts for now. um Yeah, of course that's okay. That's like even a necessary part of the total human experience, but you cannot let yourself go on for days at a time
00:23:14
Speaker
in a numb state, either within your body or your mind. Like if you we attempt to do this, we feel it. I know that's the case for me. if I just like go on for days, well, I've just been on on a short trip to France where,
00:23:31
Speaker
I did not prioritize my body at all. Like just eating as you do in France, like the pastries, the cheese, the wine, the cured meats, all of that.
00:23:44
Speaker
And which is such a myth. This is a side note, but I feel like there's such a myth in America that people are always like, oh, I went to Europe and I ate like the bread and I was fine. You know, they're always like, oh, it's like the American bread. And like, don't get me wrong, I know they put some wild shit in the American bread, but like still even having like fresh bread from the, from the patisserie and like really good quality tv meat, you still, if you're only eating that for like three days, you still end up feeling like sluggish and gross and not being able to go to the toilet. So yeah.
00:24:20
Speaker
sorry side note side note of TMI um but yeah if you are just constantly numbing either your mind and your body for a long period of time you will feel those effects and those effects can be more severe than others at certain times like we know being in a long period of numbing can result in things like chronic illnesses um not to not to scare anyone but Yeah, we know we know what the effects can be. So we really need to take accountability to make sure that we are connecting our mind and our body and living
Seeking Help for Relaxation Challenges
00:24:58
Speaker
in a like enlivened and like spiritually, I don't know, i keep saying spiritual, it's not really spiritual, but for me, it feels spiritual to be relaxed. um
00:25:11
Speaker
Yeah, to tend to that, to tend to that life force, to tend to our body and our mind. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think it's spiritual because it's soul care. That's what I think of It's like you're taking care of something that you cannot see, but the more you invest in that thing that you cannot see, but you can feel, the greater you will get out of that and it will come back tenfolds to you.
00:25:35
Speaker
The only thing i want to add in there too is if you are trying to rest or trying to release the tension and you just find like you cannot receive this, like you just are laying there and you really can't get out of your head, you really can't get out of um any kind of processes and you're just like, I am stuck, that that happens and that we would encourage you to, you know, and out of the because we love you, we would encourage you to seek therapeutic help because there are also are times where people have gone so long in the state of unrest and dis-ease.
00:26:14
Speaker
And like Amy said, we care for you all and we do not want you to be in a state of dis dis-ease, which leads to does-ease. And, you know, we want you to seek the help you need. So if you're trying to rest, if you're laying down, if you're even listening, laying down, you just cannot, you cannot receive this rest.
00:26:30
Speaker
Like, please take that as a signal from your body that... It may just need a little professional help to be able to get there. And there's nothing wrong with that. ah Do not disqualify yourself from rest just because you cannot receive it on your own at this time. But like Amy said, you know, do the work you can. But if you really can't, you can't do that right now. That's okay.
00:26:51
Speaker
There is help for that. That's so valid. Do you, we can cut this out if you want, if you don't want to talk about it, but was there on a time when you were antidepressants? Yeah. I'm making that up. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:03
Speaker
No, I was on, um I'm totally happy to talk about that. Yeah, I was on antidepressants for a while in college, especially when... um the RA got really bad. I was on Lexapro for a long time.
00:27:16
Speaker
Um, and yeah, that kind of made it hard for me. That kind of backfired on the way I felt about myself. Um, and it made it hard for me to relax, honestly.
00:27:27
Speaker
So yeah, medication can interfere in some ways and that's not to make you fearful of medication or to make you feel bad about taking it. Don't feel bad at all. You need You need to find what works for your body. yeah But it's just a reminder of that, you know, therapy is there for a reason. And sometimes we sometimes we need to outsource some some love and some skills that we need. And then once we do that, we learn and we can implement it.
00:27:52
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. The only other thing that I was going to talk about from the passage was the metaphor of just as water cannot pass naturally through a pinched hose, um kind of explaining how...
00:28:13
Speaker
holding tension in your body blocks what I was calling, I don't know, spirituality, like vital life force, um but also blocks energy, most importantly, creativity and clarity.
00:28:27
Speaker
um i think that is just such a powerful metaphor because that is exactly what it feels like to me when I'm under lot of tension and stress. like i I cannot think.
00:28:44
Speaker
Like i I physically like cannot think. I can't. Had this interesting experience recently where I was obviously going through something quite serious and I just had like a complete inability to make a decision.
00:28:59
Speaker
Like Edouard was like asking me, he's like going to the shops, he's like, can I grab you a sandwich? And like I literally, for the life of me, couldn't even land on like a sandwich filling that I would like. Like um just like so in myself, like,
00:29:19
Speaker
yeah, not connected. and yeah, it just really, really felt like there was something blocking, like it like an energetic b block that meant I just couldn't get clarity, couldn't think. um So making sure you are making time for relaxation is ensuring that that life force can flow and you can make good decisions for yourself and you can use your autonomy and that leads to confidence and it leads to creativity if creativity is something that is like important for you.
00:30:00
Speaker
and Yeah, so that Janessa, can you think of a time when your hose has been pinched? Oh, yeah. A lot of times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, know I know. think of like being a kid and like just folding the hose over and then just like letting it rip and it all just comes out so fast. So I i have emotionally done that to myself too, right? just, I bend that hose and I'm like, ha ha.
00:30:23
Speaker
And then when I release it, I'm like, damn, this would have been a lot easier if I had just let this flow. So yeah, no, I can definitely think of times. um Yeah, it's it's interesting though, because I think of I think of water also kind of on a spiritual level. And I like this example because the concept of you you hear it in different cultures and stuff, but the idea of living water like that we are living water like.
00:30:53
Speaker
we are alive and we are some somewhat like 70 percent or more of water it's like what we're made of and and it's impressive because the water wants to live it wants to have a life it wants to move it's fluid um and that's kind of what i get out of this too is you want to become living water you don't want to become stagnant um because it wants to flow and um yeah so that was something i was thinking about too But yeah, I've definitely had a pinched hose. I really can't think of an example right now, even though it feels silly because I feel like I have pinched my hose a ton of times. So...
00:31:30
Speaker
That sounds really funny. If that got edited out out of context. No, that's so fun. Like, I feel like we should start saying to ourselves, like, are you pinching the hose right now?
00:31:42
Speaker
Like saying it to your friends. Like, are you pinching the hose? Like, are you blocking yourself? um Yeah, I think that can be a really fun way of checking in on yourself.
00:31:53
Speaker
yeah Yeah, it's fun and it makes it humorous in a way, which, I don't know, for me, it's a coping mechanism. So I find it easier to tackle things when I can laugh. yes. Yeah, I can't wait to tell Edward.
00:32:04
Speaker
I've just got a pinched hose right now and for him to be like, what are you talking about? What is happening? Yeah. um okay I feel like this is going to be maybe short and sweet but that is kind of I guess the nature of just like picking out one short essay and diving into it um yeah I was gonna say there's was gonna say we don't we have to keep this in here but there's a bible verse that made me think of quite a lot and I was like whoa um Anyway, i I'll read it and then we can see if we want to keep it in, if it still feels good. But when you're talking about like the world and working and how that's seen as really valuable over self-care, in Romans 12, verse 2, they say,
00:32:49
Speaker
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of god And what is good and acceptable. And then some say perfect. But I leave that out. I don't think perfect exists.
00:33:02
Speaker
um But truly. yeah I think that's amazing. Like do not conform to the world is. Excuse me. I'm really out of practice. Yeah. Yeah. i Do not conform to the world is really important because it's if you do, you get you don't really gain anything of a value that will come with you out of this world. That's what I keep thinking. Is it worth my peace? Because when I leave.
00:33:28
Speaker
I can't bring this car, I can't bring the house, like, is it really worth my peace? And the truth is, it's it's not, it's like never, ever worth your peace. Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, what is there's like another saying, which is much less profound than a Bible quote, but it's like, if it costs you your peace, it's too expensive.
00:33:48
Speaker
Oh, I think that sums it up perfect. We could just use that, honestly. Yeah, that's that is true of it. That is when it's it's priced me out. Yeah. um um No, I think we should, if you want to, I think we should talk a little bit about...
00:34:04
Speaker
um your journey into how like having more Christian values. Because I feel like this is a great, like if you want to talk about like finding your rest and relaxation through
00:34:21
Speaker
press yeah
Finding Peace through Prayer
00:34:23
Speaker
Have you found that? Do you want to talk about that? So yeah, that's interesting. So where to start? Let's see. so more recent, not recent, but more recent on the podcast. So you may hear some kind of things I've been dropped in the past couple of episodes where I'm talking more um about some scripture or maybe I'm talking more heavily about something that's greater than myself um and that is not by coincidence that's totally by design I've been really working on myself for months and months and at this time I've
00:34:57
Speaker
um found a lot of peace and comfort and in God. And um I know that that can trigger a lot of people. So I'm so sorry if you're like, ooh, because I also was that way at one point.
00:35:10
Speaker
um And if that is your response, that's okay. And I understand, you know, it can feel that way sometimes. But I'm hoping that you'll still stick around and listen because there might be something powerful in here that you can use in whatever way and however you want to reframe it.
00:35:25
Speaker
But for me, a way that I've found a lot of peace is through prayer. And I like to say like prayer and meditation go hand in hand.
00:35:36
Speaker
um And they're very similar. And something that I've found is that through prayer, i can personally bring my own burdens to something greater than me. And right now I'm calling that God.
00:35:53
Speaker
um I can bring my burdens to God and it is not too heavy for God. um It is not too little for God. It is not too big for God. It's not too selfish. It's not too selfless.
00:36:06
Speaker
um I think of this as a presence that is there for my best growth and that already knows what's happening in my life. So it's almost like If you can imagine, if you're not already a parent, if you can imagine being a parent and having your kid come to you and say, oh, I feel this way.
00:36:24
Speaker
And you already kind of had an idea that that was happening. But the pure fact that they trusted you enough to come to you and say, I feel this way. That's how I feel God may feel when I bring my prayers. So to bring this back to peace, I find a lot of peace when I cannot create that peace within myself.
00:36:42
Speaker
I find peace by bringing what is heavy on my mind usually to God and I just I don't pray to change the situation that's what I'm learning I pray to be changed in the situation so an example would be I'm not praying for, you know, this argument.
00:37:08
Speaker
I'm making this up by the way. i'm I'm not praying for this argument to go away with my husband. Instead, I'm praying to God saying, I'm going through this and I'm stressed out, but God, I'm asking that I can give this to you. And I'm asking that you can work with this and you can help me reposture myself.
00:37:27
Speaker
Um, in a way that allows me to see what my husband's point of view is, but also feel stable in my own and not compromise my point of view. And please, you know, help the outcome be in the best interest of both of us and allow us to not seek our own selfish needs and instead come together on this.
00:37:50
Speaker
So something like that, that's a very made up simple one, but there's a lot of heavier things people go through and it's really hard to ask for help. So when you bring it to God or who universe, whatever you want to call it, when you bring it to something greater than yourself, there's a sense of surrender, which reminds me of what Amy was saying of like unclenching. um I think surrender is like unclenching for the soul.
00:38:14
Speaker
Like you have not you're not, you know, holding yourself back. And when I say, you know, give me new posture, I'm talking spiritually, but also I'm talking literally like if you are kind of shriveled in or you're nervous or you're feeling pain, you will kind of go in on yourself. But, um, the posture of, of openness and of love is oftentimes standing tall and and being open. So you can pray both for spiritual posture and physical posture in that way. Yeah. Um, but yeah, that's how I find peace.
00:38:47
Speaker
ah recently. um I find a lot of peace in it, but I want to say it didn't start that way and we'll talk about it more some other time, but it's a practice. Like anything you do, um it's going to probably feel a little weird talking to something you can't see, but you can feel.
00:39:04
Speaker
um But I've gotten really good at it and it has been
Practicing Relaxation as a Skill
00:39:08
Speaker
substantial. So That's my little doodad for you. And like I said, thanks for sticking through that, especially if you find the word God triggering. I used to as well. And so I hope you can reframe that in the way that works best for you and bring your heaviness on days that you can't hold it yourself.
00:39:26
Speaker
Um, don't only bring it to your therapist, bring it to something greater than you if you believe in that, because, um, god universe something bigger bigger than you can use seriously devastating situations to reframe your life in ways you couldn't imagine so yeah so it's okay to bring it to them yeah gorgeous and it just like it just underlines the whole thing of like relaxation as a skill you're sat here listening to this and being like how can i make it a skill like ah skill requires a practice and something like tangible that can be your tangible thing like speaking it out and getting the relaxation from
00:40:15
Speaker
energy like yeah and feel your cells being lifted and lightened as you give it away to someone else um yeah i love it I love that.
Guided Meditation for Relaxation
00:40:33
Speaker
i So hi as a surprise, never been done before.
00:40:39
Speaker
in the well So that's two surprises. Not only have we spoken about about our lord and savior yeah but also we're gonna do um a little guided meditation because i thought this is just it lines up so nicely with talking about relaxation talking about mindfulness like talking about fixing tension and our posture um so we would love it if you could
00:41:11
Speaker
If you're somewhere right now where you can sit and chill and take a minute and close your eyes, do that. Or if you're not right now, pause the podcast here and come back to it later this evening when you're at home maybe or tomorrow morning if you can carve out some time, come right back here and we'll, yeah, we'll go through a little body scan and relaxation.
00:41:42
Speaker
I'm excited. Yeah, you ready? Yes, ready. Okay, so this is your moment to pause, to soften, ah most importantly, to return to yourself.
00:42:00
Speaker
Begin by settling into a comfortable position. Let your hands rest in a natural position like palms down, palms open, wherever feels good.
00:42:11
Speaker
Let your shoulders drop. Most importantly, take the tension out of your shoulders and feel supported by whatever is beneath you. Take a slow, deep breath in for your nose. And we're going to hold it here.
00:42:30
Speaker
and gently exhale through your mouth. Let go of your day so far. Let go of what is to come next.
00:42:41
Speaker
So we're going to begin a gentle body scan. This is a journey inward, bringing ease to every part of you.
00:42:52
Speaker
Start by bringing your awareness to the top of your head, soften your forehead and your brow, unclench your jaw, let your face be soft and relaxed.
00:43:11
Speaker
move your attention down to your neck and shoulders. Notice if you've began to hold tension there, allow those shoulders to drop again. Imagine warm light melting away from the crown of your head down into your shoulders and melting away all of the tightness.
00:43:36
Speaker
Feel that light into your arms, down through your elbows, to your wrists, all the way to your fingertips. Let your arms be heavy, resting, and just fully at ease.
00:43:54
Speaker
Bring your focus to your chest and your upper back. With your next inhale, breathe into your heart space.
00:44:06
Speaker
As you exhale, let your spine lengthen and your back release.
00:44:14
Speaker
Bring a awareness to your belly. Let it soften, let go of the need to hold or brace. And just with each breath invite ease and comfort and a loving feeling and that loving warmth right into your belly to the center of your body.
00:44:42
Speaker
Now we're going to move down to our hips and our pelvis. Feel them being grounded and rooted.
00:44:54
Speaker
Imagine roots coming down, rooting you right where you are. Release any tension or tightness in this area.
00:45:05
Speaker
Let your lower back be at ease.
00:45:09
Speaker
gonna keep scanning down to your thighs, your knees and your calves. Feel gravity working with you, pulling that warm light down into your legs.
00:45:26
Speaker
Your legs are supported, they can be loose, they're relaxed. Onto your feet, Feel the arches of your feet, feel the light radiating from the arches of your feet across your soles and down into each toe.
00:45:50
Speaker
Imagine any lingering tension draining out through your feet into the earth away from your body.
00:46:01
Speaker
Your whole body is here, present, safe and at rest. Breathe in the peace that you've created for yourself right now.
00:46:15
Speaker
Exhale anything you no longer need.
00:46:20
Speaker
Let your mind follow your body into calm. You don't need to force anything. Just allow yourself to be Feel the warm light throughout your body up into your mind.
00:46:40
Speaker
are whole. You are worthy of rest. You are allowed to re relax.
00:46:50
Speaker
Take one more deep breath and hold gently. The breath is nourishing you. Release it.
00:47:01
Speaker
When you're ready begin to return. Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Notice the space around you.
00:47:14
Speaker
You've just cultivated the most amazing calmness. open your eyes and carry this softness with you into whatever comes next.
00:47:28
Speaker
Wow. Oh, that was so great. Amy, did you just find your calling? Are you meant to do a meditation app? That was very relaxing. Like truly, I was just like, yeah.
00:47:40
Speaker
And then I just like, I kept popping in, like kept being like, my brain wanted to not relax. Like they call it monkey brain and yoga, but yeah. um It's called Chaturanga, I think of like the mind.
00:47:50
Speaker
And literally the chatter was like, wow, she's reading so well. She hasn't messed up at all. And then i was like, relax, Janessa. But like, I'm so impressed. Like you did that so smooth. I was like, wow.
00:48:03
Speaker
I mean, I have listened you. many a meditation in my life by this point so I felt like that is uh yeah it was uh I know i knew what I had to do based on what other people have have given to me have gifted to me through their words Amazing. yeah Thank you for gifting us that. That was really nice.
00:48:29
Speaker
Good. So to anybody listening, I hope you're feeling relaxed too. And I hope that served you in some way.
00:48:42
Speaker
And we'll see you again in two weeks. And until then, remember to let the light in. Bye.