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Goodpain Unplugged: Candid Conversation. Underdog Wisdom. – Unedited Conversation about Geeking Out
40 Plays2 days ago
Goodpain Unplugged is a raw, unedited conversation that pulls the curtain back on the conversations we have in preparation for our seasons. Tiffany is the victim this time, as Tyler corners her to talk about what it means to "Geek Out" and why it points at the heart of Goodpain Season 3.
About This Episode
Welcome to a candid conversation about what it truly means to be "geeking out". In this episode of Goodpain Unplugged, we dive deep into the magnetic power of passion and why it connects us on such a profound level. Have you ever noticed how someone lighting up about their favorite obscure topic is instantly captivating? This episode is a pure life talk about that exact spark.
We explore how unabashedly loving something—without worrying about turning it into a side hustle or justifying it to the world—fuels our personal growth and supports our mental health. From using art and metaphor when words fail us, to the fun of creative expression through childhood imagination and improv, this episode will inspire you to embrace the things that make you come alive.
Timestamps (Note: Times are approximate placeholders for your audio editor)
- [00:00] Introduction: What does it really mean to geek out?
- [02:15] The Connection Meter: What The Sims teaches us about the risks of relationship building.
- [05:30] The Halo Effect: Lessons from La La Land on loving a passion just because you love the person.
- [09:00] When Words Fail: Why we reach for art, sound, and metaphors to express our inner worlds.
- [14:20] Pure Joy: The beauty of loving something just for the joy of it, not for money.
- [19:45] Blowing Up Boundaries: How The Office and Leroy Jenkins show us the creative tension of rules and chaos.
- [24:30] Cultivating Worlds: From Dungeons & Dragons to gardening and science.
Notable Quotes
- "What do we do when the medium itself of talking to one another is insufficient to actually convey what is happening inside of me?"
- "There's a part of this person they've refused to put at the service of what works... they're going to get paid doing it. And that tells us so much more about each other."
Resources Mentioned
- The Sims (Video Game)
- La La Land (Movie)
- The Shining (Movie reference to room 237)
- The Office (TV Show - Michael Scott's Improv)
- Leroy Jenkins (Viral Video)
- Project Hail Mary (Book)
Listen, Rate & Subscribe! If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast app! Share this episode with a friend you love geeking out with, and follow us on social media for more exclusive content.
Recommended
Transcript
What does it mean to 'geek out'?
00:00:12
Speaker
Good pain unplugged. Take one.
00:00:17
Speaker
Okay, as long as it points at your mouth, it's good. i don't even know where I was. You were saying, what does geeking out mean? Yeah, there's something about the nature of this phrase, geeking out, that we have specifically carved out to express something specific about what it means that I think betrays a little bit of what we oftentimes... need in order to share these deep passions that don't have a justification or rationale for why I'm doing it.
00:00:54
Speaker
And that question that people are oftentimes asking of, hey, so what are you going to do with this? We almost give a pass to these topics of geeking out.
Creating safe spaces for passion sharing
00:01:06
Speaker
And it's we create these spaces that says, okay, now that you are geeking out, what I'm going to experience from you is all the things about it that you love. The minutia, the very small details that that I may not even know what that means. But it's fun to watch people get so excited about something.
00:01:32
Speaker
that they've you know That they have dived so deeply into. That it's a part of who they are. That I don't even need to necessarily speak the language of what it is.
00:01:44
Speaker
I'm reading their passion. I'm reading their engagement. And why it's important for us to define this idea of geeking out also is because when we look back at ourselves, we edit so much of ourselves.
00:01:58
Speaker
Geeking out with an audience or geeking out with somebody else, we inherently know, the way I would talk about this I almost have to gauge first, will this person listen? Will it be well of interest to them? it's We're constantly shaping the message to see if it will land, to see if people will will, whether it will resonate with them.
00:02:24
Speaker
So you're not as worried about how you're experiencing it. You're more worried about whether you can connect with the other person on that same level if they can um understand your experience. And if they also can, like you're trying to use the words that makes it land with them so that they can be like, oh, I've had that experience too. Now I'm geeking out with you. Because that seems to be like two distinct things.
Connecting through shared interests
00:02:50
Speaker
the metaphor that i will use for this that why i'm laughing a little bit is because i'm thinking of sims when they meet each other for the first time and and you can watch within the game the what they're talking about and you know just with these little icons that pop up one a little soccer ball pops up and the other person the soccer ball pops up and then there's an x that goes through it and it's like within within the the game you're watching the little meters and you're seeing that oh no the meter for this connection just went down a little bit and and you know that almost that if it goes down enough or there's enough enough successive mismatches of what they're talking about there's not a connection here they're going to go off and you've almost got to force them back together in order to to try and get that meter to turn around or to prolong and endure the the the work of figuring out, are there things that we both like?
00:03:51
Speaker
And it stays at this surface level of of I can know somebody by the topics, by the content. that is being shared, the number of matches.
The networking game: risks and rewards
00:04:04
Speaker
You know, we we win when i flip over this card, you flip over your card, and they're the same. And there is something about that. There is something about... I think that has more to do with the risks that are associated with relationship building. With the first one being time that's invested. experienced this and ah in networking.
00:04:27
Speaker
I have a tendency to, when going to networking events, which I hate and I think many other people despise as well. is is the the nature of what we talk about, whether we define it as small talk, whether we define it as gauging and and asking this inherent question, particularly in networking or professional networking event is is, do you have something that I need? Do I have something that you need? And then it's this it's this exchange of, hey, were we're getting what we need from each
Influence of passion on interest
00:04:58
Speaker
other.
00:04:58
Speaker
If I was at a networking event and and i find somebody... is just very engaged with a very specific topic. I think we hear this a lot from from individuals, from from each other as well, is there is something attractive, not just erotically, romantically attractive.
00:05:19
Speaker
There's just something attractive about seeing somebody's passions that that makes me think of something like La La Land. Yeah. And, you know, she says, you know, you love jazz. And his retorts to that is, you hate jazz.
00:05:36
Speaker
and And she responds rapid fire right away with, um not not because of you. i I'm interested in it because of you. and it's not even, I'm interested in jazz because of you. I'm interested in you and the halo effect itself.
00:05:54
Speaker
is that there's something within this form of jazz that reflects you and so i want to know jazz in a way that you know jazz because i'm learning about your heart i'm learning about what's important to you Rather than the merits or or the persuasive activity of trying to convince somebody to like jazz, to give it a chance, to is is that I am i'm just going to let it consume me.
Beyond words: expressing emotions through art
00:06:30
Speaker
And in that consumption, there's something then that reflects me. in that form. And I think that's what we mean by by often by geeking out.
00:06:42
Speaker
And it gets to the heart of some of the things that is our underlying, one of our underlying axioms about this season. There are things inside of us that I cannot convey intellectually, that I cannot convey by explaining who I am. I can't even convey through the dynamics of the relationship at times.
00:07:03
Speaker
we we We even start talking sometimes about the nature of the dynamics of a relationship. Many of it, we we we say miscommunication. What is miscommunication? it's it it It oftentimes is because the tools that I have to convey what's happening inside of me are inadequate. And the tools that the the other person has um for for perceiving and reconstructing inside of them their understanding about what it is that I'm trying to convey are also inadequate.
00:07:36
Speaker
So what do we do when the medium itself of talking to one another? is insufficient to actually convey what is happening inside of me and your perception of what is happening and vice versa. And sometimes the best ways is to abandon this approach of denotatively describing it and finding something else that approximates it in a better way.
00:08:03
Speaker
We reach first for metaphors. Like, here's the metaphor. This is what it feels like inside of me. And we we reach for that first. When that fails, then we move next to this idea of what if I can only express this through through sound? What if I can only express this you know by banging on drums or by by playing on the ukulele? What if I can only express this on paper with pen or pencil, charcoal, all these different medium, media? And we say, like at the very least, There's something also about the brevity of some of these things that speaks to the volumes of what they hold. And what I mean by that is it's like a beautiful painting. It is it is a single painting.
00:08:50
Speaker
we we A picture is worth a thousand words. We say that. This single thing, this object carries so much more weight because a thousand words are insufficient to convey what it feels.
Valuing passion over societal metrics
00:09:05
Speaker
and And it is far more about the words trying to denotatively say like, it you know, what I'm feeling equals these words. We say the very exercise of trying to compress this part of me into and force fit into these words doesn't work when we actually go back to this image this painting this song that is much more brief in some respects but conveys so much more it conveys the very interpretive ambiguity of the subjective experience that ah that there's parts of me that i cannot replicate in the other person so that they know and fully understand
00:09:51
Speaker
Because it's always going to be interacting with their version of what they perceive. And when we do that with the things that really light us up, it's not even the way we talk about them. it's It's the glow. It's the spark that we see within people that says, at the very least, there's a part of this person they've refused to put at the service of what works, how much it costs, you know, they're going to get paid to doing it. Like, and that, that tells us so much more about each other than, than the demographic list of where do you live?
00:10:30
Speaker
What's your job? all of these these pieces that we think somehow create an algorithm for understanding someone, there's these other things that are going to tell us so much more. And we love those things.
00:10:43
Speaker
How do we do that better except by vamping, by finding a ah space that says like, i really love...
World's influence on our passions
00:10:54
Speaker
x i I just there's something about it and I'm not going to go even to the exercise of profaning almost what it is about it that has its hooks in me. I just know that I love it.
00:11:07
Speaker
And here's all the things that I do with it. And here's the things that it's teaching me. i That's oftentimes a really fun place to be in where we're not talking about what we're trying to bring forth to the world, which I think so much of the conversations we oftentimes hear in interviews is, well what are you up to right now? What are you bringing into the world?
00:11:31
Speaker
that there's an aspect of geeking out that has like what is the world bringing out in you what is this thing this this world that you've thrown yourself into that is is just like you're thinking about it you're dreaming about it you're you're looking forward to the next time that you get to participate in this thing where you get lost in this world that it is bringing things out in you that you didn't even know were there And I i think that's the fun of it. I think that's what when we when we talk about art and its capabilities and why we even say like artful living, we're really trying to get at those things and and find those spots where that happens.
00:12:17
Speaker
or where we where we believe it might happen and say, well, let's go, let's just go see. Let's go see what happens. I mean, that's the the first conversation we recorded with Jared, i think that's a little bit of what happened.
Personal growth through creative experiences
00:12:33
Speaker
is Is that even him, he came into it with this understanding of, oh, we're going to be we're going to be excavating in this idea of creating experiences for other people.
00:12:45
Speaker
And we ended up talking about even going a different direction that said, like, what does that do for you? Mm-hmm. yeah Like we understand the frustrations and the effort that comes with subjecting yourself to the scrutiny of doing something for other people and hoping that they have fun, hoping that it's meaningful to them, all these different things. And the disappointment that comes along with that when they don't get to through this thing that had all of your intention attached to it, they don't, it doesn't hit that threshold.
00:13:21
Speaker
Got it. But what's it doing for you? What what is what about this? creating these experiences for other people where you see the world in a way you think through things that other people may not even notice they may not even understand why something grips them but your passion and your attention to the details and seeing things the easter eggs that you put into it that might be another entire topic of why is what is it about the easter egg
00:13:52
Speaker
In a movie, when when when a director who is making a horror in that movie, just in some corner in, in you know, 15 frames, half a second around half a second of screen time, they flash the number 237 up on it.
00:14:10
Speaker
Why is that something that they love and why are they tickled when there's some obscure fan who finds it and sends it in and says, i noticed the 237, you put it in there.
00:14:23
Speaker
It is that it creates this form of of connection yeah that is playful and fun. Maybe that's the magic. Yeah, yeah.
00:14:34
Speaker
And I think there's, for for me, there's something about being um trained that we can do that.
Self-discovery in pursuing passions
00:14:41
Speaker
Because so much of the conversations, like even what I just said is is that I speak with potential guests that are going to be on the show they're asking the question of themselves is how am i going to talk about this thing that i do because they think that they're being asked to participate in a promotion or explaining what it is that they do the way the the personality that they have erected within the world that they are going to revisit the conversation again of how did i get here And a little bit more of what I think we're asking is is like, where have you always been? And if you haven't asked that question of yourself, even, could we just do it here?
00:15:24
Speaker
Yeah. Could we just explore like, this has always been in you. And it either got squelched, it got quieted, it got compromised away. you are rediscovering it and finding that this is something that's new. And it'ss it's burgeoning again in a way that... has now all the benefit of the ways that you compromised over years and all like and sharing that aspect that says well this is where i am right now this is what's exciting and and and i i do think that when you look at things like hot ones and sean evans and the way he interviews we all know on the surface the content that they curate about these individuals
00:16:07
Speaker
is reflected in these questions that that show the research, the regard, all these different things. I would then ask again, what's why is that so meaningful?
00:16:18
Speaker
why Why is it that the all, i mean, it's like Sean Evans kind of surprising them with Easter eggs about their entire longitude, their entire, all these different things.
00:16:31
Speaker
Things that seemed inconsequential oftentimes. Everybody wants to talk about the high notes. Everybody wants to talk about the big successes. Everybody wants to talk about the achievements, the ambition that it took to get there. What about the things that all of the things that people didn't see in between?
00:16:48
Speaker
And that's, I think, where our conceit is. It's like we want to talk about the in between. We want to talk about what you did, how you talked to yourself, what you said, what you learned about, what was taught to you about yourself, not in the achievement, but in the things that you love to do in the process.
Childlike creativity and exploration
00:17:10
Speaker
Yeah, like ah when it like caught fire for you, like what are the moments that you felt something come alive inside you and what did that look like for you? Yeah, and and what it's, I think the part of the the threading the needle that we try to do is we try to pull back to, you know, one of the quotes that we pulled out was people describing um and the experience of what that's like, like
00:17:39
Speaker
acting for me is you know so powerful within me um it's like a fire inside of me that you know and and and describing the nature of that experience and instead saying like let's talk about the first time that you experienced what you experienced either the validation from from an audience or the first time that you experienced something needing to come out and feeling ill-equipped to do it and before you knew it you were either watching a movie and feeling something inside of you that what was that movie yeah what was the movie what was the scene what was what did you do after that like what's the story of that what's the vignette of what that was like because
00:18:32
Speaker
We can all describe those things with the words that we think describe what that experience is. But telling the story and sitting there and the mise en scene of everything that's going on and what we do, we do silly things. We do them as, you know, silly things as kids.
00:18:51
Speaker
Yeah, I was thinking this brought to mind like um sitting with Armiddle and playing dolls with her. It took so much time. and i and I look back and I wish that I would have done more of it. And I'm thinking about why I feel like that.
The dynamic nature of acting and improvisation
00:19:07
Speaker
And the I think the reason, i the why but behind why i wish that I would have is she was discovering so many connections in her mind and she was playing them out and experiencing what it's like to have an idea and then to bring it to life and have another idea and to bring it to life um like one of the stories that i do have because we were playing and she was kind of making the rules of me and this other doll And then she just, um she suddenly reaches, like, taps my shoulder. And I'm like, yeah.
00:19:42
Speaker
And she goes, um just so you know, um i'm Sally's owner and um' she's dead. And she just completely came out of the story and took on a different role. And I'm like, wow, like this takes a lot of creativity to not only imagine that you're a doll, but now you're also the director of the dolls and you get to make all the rules.
00:20:05
Speaker
And there's a different ah like universe around these dolls that aren't their lives, you know, um and to watch her come up with those ideas.
00:20:17
Speaker
ah I mean, it just blows my mind. i really enjoy that. That's one of the most delightful experiences of my life is to watch people do that. um And I feel like that ah actors have got to experience that a lot, especially if they are doing improv or things like that. Like, you're you are problem solving in the moment. What is that like, right?
00:20:38
Speaker
we forget that that's what we are doing all the time. Like every every waking moment that we have is about making decision after decision after decision.
00:20:50
Speaker
And sometimes what is lost within that is how things get lost within that is is the fact that the span of a lifetime and the broader context is almost like, what do I do now?
00:21:06
Speaker
i could do any number of things i could i have the laundry list of all the things that i'm trying to do again it's the things to do things to do constantly demanding time and attention for that but what i heard you say with with our our kid with with the improv is is the size of the sandbox when we constrain it and we bring it down to like this is what's happening right here right now i need to respond to it And I need to respond to it and what it's and I also need to respond to what it is bringing up inside of me.
00:21:42
Speaker
And what does that how would I respond to that or in this in the in the aspect of acting? how would How would the person that I am portraying, that I am embodying, how would they respond to this in a way that is only how they could respond authentically, genuinely? And that by creating those bounds and actually bringing drawing in those those those boundaries that says this is what's happening right now,
00:22:16
Speaker
it It does something to to say, like, i've got to I've got to make a decision here.
Boundaries and creativity: constraint or inspiration?
00:22:22
Speaker
And and at the very least, it's it's confined. it's It's very specific.
00:22:27
Speaker
in In the case of our child, what you also got to see is when she actively chooses... to say, I don't like these boundaries anymore. I'm going to completely change the boundaries. I'm just going to blow them up.
00:22:41
Speaker
and And that just, that feels deeply human. And we talk about this in terms of art, of coloring outside the lines. But we also recognize that there is a craft. There is something about understanding right now, this is what's happening right now. And I do need to respond to this. Which makes me think also of the comedy that's associated with sometimes the ways that people refuse to be bounded by those things. Whether it's The Office and Michael in his improv group always having the gun. That he always pulls out the gun. and they tell him, you need to stop pulling out the gun. And he even has...
00:23:24
Speaker
his argument the locked and loaded to say, but that defeats the nature of improv. Improv is no rules. And theyre like that balance and that dance between the creative tension that is created, that is manifested by putting some boundaries on something at the same time that we know that you anchor to that too much and it's become suffocating. And therefore, what we need, we do need people who...
00:23:53
Speaker
blow up the boundaries and they do ridiculous things. And in that case- Leroy Jenkins. I mean, yes, yes. Why is, I mean, that that video, for those who who don't understand, like that reference, um
Embracing chaos in creativity
00:24:10
Speaker
look it up. Just go up, go look online. lee We will link it in the show notes for this. Leroy Jenkins.
00:24:17
Speaker
And that there's just, there's something about the chaos in the middle that that is fun, that is beautiful, whether that's happening in the chaos that happens within the bounds or the chaos that cannot be contained by the bounds and must blow through those walls.
00:24:40
Speaker
yeah Like the Kool-Aid man. i i really like art because, and like in this sense, I like because this is what I'm always looking for in my life.
Forms of creativity: art and science
00:24:52
Speaker
I'm always looking for that um excitement, you know, like, and I don't think it's limited.
00:24:59
Speaker
to music and art in the like traditional sense. Like I just think that there's so many ways this this is explored. um Whether that's something like Dungeons and Dragons or like scientists. um Scientists always looking for that next interesting thing that they haven't seen before. um Like watching like Project Hail Mary or um or gardeners like the time they spend cultivating these things and like living among these like plants and insects and how they all interact, the ecosystems. It's just like, oh, why is this happening? How do I, how do I bring balance here in learning what that looks like? What kind of, what, what animals get like um life from this, you know? um And oh, there's too many of these, um too many aphids, like, what animals like aphids that would bring balance back so that the plants aren't harmed. Like, there's a lot that goes into it and it's not just like, I'm making this art, I'm making this, like, um in that sense that people think of, but instead, like, these people are cultivating worlds and um i'm I'm so inspired by that.
00:26:10
Speaker
I love it. So I'm super excited to hear all people and the voices because... And I hope that they're more than just just the typical artists that you expect, because I think there's all of us are artists in our own way, like our middle.
00:26:25
Speaker
Yeah. Excuse me while cry over here.