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Nonsensical Nonsense Warning unsupervised idiots ahead PT.1
22 Plays14 days ago
We bring that unhinged comedy based anarchy with all the random ADHD fuel conversations you know and love with all our friiends that join us on the panel
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE bio.link/nonsensicalnetwork
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Transcript
Welcome to Nonsensical Nonsense
00:02:55
Speaker
Welcome
00:03:07
Speaker
Hey, y'all better look the fuck out today. My crayons are sharp, the box is full, my bottle of glue's topped off, from my helmet's on tight, baby. We're about to rhythm with a tism. Let's get with it.
00:03:21
Speaker
Suck my dick and eat my asshole, you sons of bitches.
00:03:28
Speaker
Yeah, what he said. What up, motherfuckers? Happy Saturday. Hopefully you guys had a good week. feel like it's been another hot little minute since I've been up on the screen. I'm a busy guy.
00:03:43
Speaker
But nonetheless... Hopefully, as I said, y'all had a good week. Welcome to Nonsensical Nonsense. It's Saturday night. You know
Social Media and Podcast Updates
00:03:51
Speaker
it's bound to get weird like it always does.
00:03:55
Speaker
If you're not already, and check us out. Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. Don't forget to check out all the live shows on YouTube and Facebook. And you can listen anywhere you listen to podcasts and on other podcasting platforms.
00:04:12
Speaker
I just got a whole bunch of... New episodes uploaded today. got a little behind, and apparently other people don't want their stuff posted on the podcasting platforms, and that's fine, because I'll post my stuff.
00:04:35
Speaker
So,
Family Humor and Show Critique
00:04:36
Speaker
but check them out. Give us a follow, give us a like, give us a share. We'd greatly appreciate that. And as... Always like share, and subscribe. Oh, God.
00:04:51
Speaker
Oh, God. Yeah, it'll be an okay time. Brittany will be here. It'll just be okay. Like, share, a subscribe, and don't forget, nine out of ten grannies do approve.
00:05:05
Speaker
And yes, for those of you who are wondering, that is my granny. Actually, it's not. But... ah My grandma would not approve of this show. She would definitely be the 10th granny who did not approve. And that's fine. Well, she might. i
New Projects and Guest Appearances
00:05:22
Speaker
don't know.
00:05:23
Speaker
Nonetheless, ah lots of things have been happening. Lots of things been viewing on. I am working on a couple of projects as well as a couple of new guests on Glick's house of music, but I am working on a couple of projects for Glick's house of music. Hence why there wasn't one this week, because it's taken a lot more work than I anticipated. However,
00:05:43
Speaker
Brittany and Michael are doing their weird hump day ha-ha things. I don't know. I tuned in the other day, and it was like five minutes of a blank screen and voices, and then some crazy old man voice that came out of nowhere. I don't know what was going ah
00:05:59
Speaker
on. Michael does a movie show on Friday night where i think the only thing they talk about now is Star Wars. What a bunch of fucking nerds. But...
00:06:09
Speaker
And Lord knows what Wally's doing. Wally just pops up for a minute or two. It's like, what up guys? I'm still alive. And then I'm just not here. So yeah, no, I've been trying to ah do some more things for Tuesday nights outside guests, but it's taken a little bit longer than anticipated. No, not
Personal Life and Family Involvement
00:06:31
Speaker
that now.
00:06:35
Speaker
And it's been a football season. I've been really busy with my daughter's band schedule. God, why is my camera doing that again? Anyways, I'm going to let her embarrass herself. I'll bring her up, and she's going to try to be funny tonight. she's too dumb to even turn her mic on.
00:06:59
Speaker
Wah,
Casual Banter and Humor
00:07:00
Speaker
wah, wah. That's what you're busy doing. With whatever the the flavor of the night is.
00:07:12
Speaker
How you doing? I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing. Yeah. Like i do I just said that. You're doing. Congratulations. I'm happy for you.
00:07:23
Speaker
um i am just... What's your name again? You're just Jelly. Kale. Ha. I don't need any help. I'm good.
00:07:40
Speaker
The next... Queen's lore here, man. Will the next fuck up please step up? That's you when we go go of um ah What is it? Rocio Wow words are hard tonight yeah I probably shouldn't have smoked before I did this Will the next Flux Tard please grab a microphone And try not to embarrass yourself on stage Please that'll be awesome Balls Shaman is in the hizzy Balls What up Shaman Shaman Why are you talking about ball That's his favorite thing He's channeling his inner Bobby
00:08:21
Speaker
And if you've never seen Supernatural, you don't get that reference. I was just about to say that. That car. Oh, my gosh. That car.
00:08:33
Speaker
none are Are you a Sam or Dean fan? I'm a Dean girl all day. Oh, yeah. Dean girl? I knew it. I freaking knew it. We know that I'm going to say it, but, yeah, I'm a Dean girl. I've been a Dean girl since... The the first the first time i first started watching. Oh, yeah. Jingle balls.
00:08:55
Speaker
I just like, because like Sam, he's also ah he's Superman, right? In that one show. No, he's not Superman. He's Walker, Texas Ranger.
00:09:10
Speaker
My brain hurts. What's new? What did I say? Jingle balls. Jingle balls. yeah Those are bells.
00:09:21
Speaker
ah sure Jensen Ackles plays Soldier Boy. and no You crank that soldier boy. Not that soldier boy. Not soldier boy. Hard boy Okay. You made a funny. You did it. i do. You actually made a funny.
00:09:48
Speaker
i don't even have to try. It just happens. No, it doesn't. No, you're dumb. That's how true comedic genius is. You don't have to force it. It just happens. What up, Ralph? Well, yeah. But what up, Wally?
00:10:01
Speaker
wait What? What? What?
00:10:05
Speaker
Can you let me have. I'm letting you please finish your words are kicking your ass tonight. Did they have been? It's been a rough day. I'm sorry. I thought what Britt was thinking.
00:10:22
Speaker
what ah What was I thinking? Oh, wait. Ass.
00:10:30
Speaker
oh right well no not asked Okay. brit Okay. Two Ts. Wally, I'm going to come kick your ass and spell your name with one L. See how you feel about that.
00:10:46
Speaker
Wally's his nickname. You can spell it however you want.
00:10:52
Speaker
Wait, what? I did not know that. So Wallace? Wallace and Gromit? His name is Wallace. is well raw his His real name is Rufa Ferd, Gutridge, Pierce III.
00:11:11
Speaker
I know you're lying to me, but I really want to believe that. Am I am i lying, though?
00:11:18
Speaker
yeah Wallace. If his name is Wallace. WRGP. He sounds like a radio station. 101.3 WRGP. All the classics all day. Here's four. Here's It's kind of like nonsensical network. Welcome. me Wally.
00:11:42
Speaker
Wallace is my boy. I blew it too hard. That's my boy Wallace. I blew it too hard on the wax flung up on my face.
00:11:58
Speaker
I blew out a candle. is The wax squirted on me. It's not cool. Yes, Wally's name. His real name is Wally. Most action I've gotten.
00:12:13
Speaker
Wallace. Is it really Wallace? Yeah, it's his real name. I love that. oh Wallace, Rutherford, Gutridge, Pierce III.
00:12:25
Speaker
Oh, I love House Shaman. i was going to leave that alone. o You know what? I'm going let it happen.
00:12:37
Speaker
ah He spelled my name right. was he was in the prayer garden. It's allowed. Exactly. Yeah. I don't care. He spelled my name right. So, honestly, I'm going to let it happen if my family sees it.
00:12:51
Speaker
Y'all, I'm sorry. Britanny. two Ts, A, and Y.
00:13:02
Speaker
It's Brit-tenny bitches. Biatches. I will take either yeah Brittany Cox or the Brittany. I'll take either one of those.
00:13:16
Speaker
Or a B. just Just call me B, honestly. That was my nickname for fucking years. Just B. You're so gay.
00:13:30
Speaker
How? Just call me B. bre Yeah, because I had a bunch of Brittany friends, so like, just call me B. B for B-H!
00:13:41
Speaker
Well, also, some people spell it B-E-E because I'm sweet like honey.
00:13:51
Speaker
What's that have to do with a B?
00:13:56
Speaker
be bees make honey bees aren't sweet bees will sting you and then
00:14:09
Speaker
die british me ah yeah i know i know that i know that couldn' ah i always say that that's funny i brought that up shaman Thank you for being here.
00:14:27
Speaker
Do you always say that? Well, yeah, I have. Yeah. Brittany is from Brittany is from the Brittany. me Brittany. We are really breaking it down now.
00:14:44
Speaker
Okay, I'm not saying the actual fucking shit. Can you pronounce it in Latin and use it in a sentence? No, but I can do it in sign language.
00:15:00
Speaker
Oh, no, that was wrong. That was wrong.
00:15:05
Speaker
So you... Not only are words hard, but sign language is apparently hard, too. Okay.
00:15:12
Speaker
Alright, I'm just gonna do Brit. That's it. B-R-I-T-N-E-Y. T-A-N-1. Fuck off. Fuck off.
00:15:26
Speaker
Jesus. I feel like everybody needs to learn sign language. For real. Because I'm deaf as shit.
00:15:38
Speaker
yeah Fuck you too, bitch.
00:15:43
Speaker
Finger game is strong though hey Dude, Scotto is going to get another picture of me doing that again Scotto was on it with the pictures last week ah he He was on a point, man he had a lot good ones Let me hit him up real quick Finger game Oh yeah But you don't want these nails up in your butthole, right?
00:16:15
Speaker
I don't want anything up in my butthole. Well, that's good to know. I don't care. oh my God. What I need it. i need it Oh my God. What? we're sending him pictures every Oh, he just sent me. oh my fuck. he I love it. That's going to be my new profile picture, by the way. So thank you, Scotto.
00:16:45
Speaker
ah It's actually kind of cute. I don't look bad there. Oh, man.
00:16:56
Speaker
Get your ass in here. Nope.
00:17:02
Speaker
I have a dildo. that
00:17:06
Speaker
I'll put a strap on Glick. If that makes me more excited. prop Probably does. Oh, I keep forgetting. It's the opposite way. He's there to me on my screen, but to you guys, I think he's over there.
00:17:24
Speaker
don't fucking know. Your friends are going crazy out here, and that was the sound that I didn't recognize. yeah what brit yeah What did he say?
00:17:35
Speaker
What does YW Brit mean? YW. daby That's the nicest thing I can't have ever said to you. I don't know. Scott with the screen grab. Are you going to post that?
00:17:55
Speaker
Are you really going to post that? Push what? um not but i just I just saved stuff but just save I just save stuff because...
00:18:12
Speaker
and Said what? You know, New Year's Eve is fast approaching. Oh, I have have some new material that you will not be able to guess, motherfucker.
00:18:30
Speaker
Take the mic away all you want. You will not be able to guess it. i all Obviously, we're all going to say the obvious shit. That's all you guys have unless you make stuff up. Nope, nope, nope. ae was wide awake last night, and I came up with some new fucking shit, and I'm so fucking pumped. So you made stuff up.
00:18:55
Speaker
No. meeting you So you're taking a page out of other people's books and you're creating a false narrative and gaslighting. no that's what you're doing literally right now. That's not what I'm doing. No. I'm creating my narrative. or too and and and no, no. I have figured it out. I have a couple things.
00:19:17
Speaker
I don't have a lot, obviously. to but What is I? only yeah what's the cancel is that the first time anyone said that to you wait what y w
00:19:43
Speaker
no we didn't actually just never mind still gonna do you see what i'm working with here shaman Somebody get their ass in here so i have somebody i else to talk to because this guy sucks.
00:19:58
Speaker
Hey, I'm just, I'm teaching people. This is Y this is W in sign language. You're fucking welcome.
00:20:10
Speaker
Also, she's a dirty slur. She prefers this with a little butt tickler. I mean, that doesn't make you a slur. That's what you like. Shut the fuck up.
00:20:33
Speaker
So have you been enjoying your ah new relationship? I have been enjoying it a lot. and then yeah It's nice to be in a stress-free relationship.
00:20:45
Speaker
Yeah, I feel that. And no drama and no bullshit. and and We don't have to go all there. don't need to talk shit on Lamont. I'm not talking shit on, I'm just saying in general.
00:20:59
Speaker
yeah Also, I apologize for calling her the other name on the stream the other night. I kept saying the wrong name.
00:21:14
Speaker
um those what oh you're welcome oh okay that makes sense oh my god i thought we'd explain this oh my god she's busy ah you you know from You know, Shaman, very far and few. It's like finding a unicorn, but apparently those types of relationships do exist, my friend. You know what? I've been told that before, the y w i just like
00:21:50
Speaker
I'm old at heart. These like acronyms and like things, they fuck me up, man. She's still on the URL today. I am.
00:22:01
Speaker
yeah What, do you want to continue to talk about your ex? i got I wasn't talking about my I was talking about Shaman's comment. Again, as I said Wednesday night in the chat, you're usually 10 steps behind yourself, let alone not having to worry about the competition coming up on you.
00:22:23
Speaker
Competition is usually way out ahead of you. Shaman's blowing us up.
00:22:31
Speaker
Thanks, Shams.
00:22:35
Speaker
How about you show your face, you little bitch? You're killing him. You're killing You're so hilarious. You're comedic.
00:22:47
Speaker
You don't realize I was on the Lazy and Shaman show last night, and I kept calling him a little bitch because he wouldn't show his face, so that's why I'm saying it
00:22:59
Speaker
You weren't there. as Somebody from that set circle of idiots commented on on our, I think our video from last week about Harley dad having a better beard than me. And I'm like, oh, that's comical considering it's a goatee.
00:23:12
Speaker
And he never very rarely shows his face. yeah It's a fucking goatee. It's not a beard. Educates yourself. And then I was like, at least I have two legs. I'm like, Harley dad, so suck it.
00:23:25
Speaker
And i'm fucking jerk off that I don't even know who they are. like Come at me like that. Better beard than you. probably don't even have a beard.
00:23:36
Speaker
Oh, we totally talked about your beard last night, by the way. I'm sure that you guys needed to put my name in your mouths for more views and likes and stuff. It's okay. in it I wasn't even there. was actually passed the fuck out at like 930. It's your network.
00:23:56
Speaker
You weren't on my network. you up filming report I thought it streamed on the network as well. I didn't i didn't set it up. No, not you know now Wednesday. we'm talking about far. Technically, you are correct, sir. I do have. yeah la la Nope.
00:24:17
Speaker
I don't want to think about that. i don't don't. And on that note, that's what fucking that's what they were doing on the fucking lazy and shaman show last night. What?
00:24:30
Speaker
Who? Yes. it's Stop! bitch Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Done. Kick the door wide open. The link's in the chat. gotta to go pin this and in the tube of you.
00:24:42
Speaker
I already did. You know what I haven't seen in a hot minute on a Saturday night? Untrackable. Oh, he was on there last night? Well, he didn't pop up on the video, but he commented.
00:24:57
Speaker
I haven't seen him in the chat ah in a little while. Well, because he doesn't like you anymore. That's okay. He showed up for us. that He can join the club. Apparently there's whole club. They have We Hate Glick t-shirts. They do cookies and orange juice. Oh my gosh. You just gave me a brilliant idea. I'm going to make those t-shirts and I'm bringing them and I'm going to sell them on New Year's Eve. Nice.
00:25:26
Speaker
i won't I won't allow it because you can't use my likeness or my name without my permission. That's not your fucking name. it if you do It's not your name. It's not your real fucking name. It is my real fucking name.
00:25:37
Speaker
No, it's not. chris yes Yeah, it is, Brittany. It's my real last name.
00:25:45
Speaker
It's my real last name.
00:25:53
Speaker
do Do you think I just made this up? Yeah, I did. I thought you made it up. I did. stands for G-Lick because I'm gangster and I always find the G-Spot.
00:26:05
Speaker
So it's G-Lick. I don't like you. Oh my God. You're embarrassing. You're fucking embarrassing. It's not even your fucking name, bro. It's not my name. Hmm.
00:26:24
Speaker
Can somebody else fucking get in here, please? Yeah. Now let's see you. Let's see you make those shirts now and see how it goes when you have to surrender. I'm still going to because I'm going to refer to you as Glick and so is Michael probably and so is, what's his fucking face? yeah you can my ne You can't profit for my name and likeness if I tell you you can't. If you do, it's a copyright infringement and I can sue you Do it. You don't even have the fucking money to do it. I'll have my lawyer send over a cease and desistory. Yeah, okay. You can't even pay for a fucking lawyer. You don't know that.
00:27:04
Speaker
Oh, yeah. You'll get your girl to do it. No, I got my own money. She got her own money. yeah I make money now.
00:27:13
Speaker
ah Yeah, you're going to sue me. It'll say B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y. If street why by sue you, I'm just going to shatter your kneecaps behind the bar and just take the money from you.
00:27:24
Speaker
Old school lobbyist. I don't need money for that. You're going to spell my name wrong and it won't even count.
00:27:36
Speaker
You're the one that spells your own name wrong. so I'm trying to help you. It literally says Brittany on your name. Come on.
00:27:48
Speaker
It does. It's awesome. It's stupid, but it's awesome. Yeah, it really is, Shaman.
00:27:57
Speaker
Is it really? Because like for the longest time, I haven't known your real name. And I heard somebody say your name. And I was like, wait, what?
00:28:08
Speaker
Well, yeah, it's my real last name. my my my My first name is super white and super common. So i' never gone by Chris. Shaman, I will fuck you up.
00:28:27
Speaker
I will fuck you up, dude. i know No, I did. i i had a... No, I can't.
00:28:38
Speaker
It's part of my bit, so I don't really want to talk about it. But no. Practice. It's... Well, I'm not going to just... I'm not going to say the whole thing, but one of my ex's grandpa asked his dad what my last name was, and he told him Spears.
00:28:58
Speaker
And he believed that. And I was working at the beach at the time and the cop came up and he was like, this cannot be last name. i was like, yeah, no, it's not. And i had to go to court for this shit.
00:29:14
Speaker
And they were like, this is not Britney Spears. You had to court because your last name was Britney Spears? No, no, no. He was trying to get a restraining order against me because I wouldn't clean up his fucking piss.
00:29:27
Speaker
He's old ass man, felon, whatever. He's dead now. Thank God. Woo. um
00:29:35
Speaker
Or think devil. I don't know. I believe it. time Dude, shaman. Yeah. If you don't get your ass in here and say it with your fucking chest.
00:29:49
Speaker
You're little bitch. Maybe he puts curse on you. A shaman curse.
00:29:56
Speaker
Anastasia. Hello. You shouldn't clean this. Brittany. Yes. It's here. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank yeah but You don't need that legal representation.
00:30:15
Speaker
ah No, the judge, the bailiff and all the other like cops in there were like laughing. They were like, this can't be real. Like Brittany. Brittany. I still have the paper. It says Brittany, a.k.a. Cox, which is even funnier. A.k.a.
00:30:35
Speaker
What? What? don't even sound real. i'm I'm telling you, i will show you a picture. i don't have it with me right now, but I will show you. Because pictures can't be edited.
00:30:49
Speaker
Oh, true. ai is a bitch these days. This is like years and years ago, like when I was like nineteen
00:31:00
Speaker
and Should've cleaned the piss. Nah, fuck that.
00:31:08
Speaker
Should've cleaned the piss. Nah, it's not my job. But was it your job? No. Fuck that dude. What'd you do at the beach?
00:31:19
Speaker
i am I would sit in a chair and I put up umbrellas and rent out chairs. Is that really Shaman? We don't know because he never shows his fucking face.
00:31:32
Speaker
So I guess we're going to have to fuck around and find out. I have all the faith that it's really Shaman. I'm kind of curious to see what his avatar is. Oh, yeah, yeah. I am the Shaman.
00:31:45
Speaker
What up, Shaman?
00:31:49
Speaker
What up? what you put up You guys just let any any riffraff off off the streets up on your show, don't you?
00:31:57
Speaker
Sometimes. Canadians, Britneys. Jedi still says he's waiting for my application to steal me from you.
00:32:08
Speaker
But Michael says I'm not going anywhere. said i already said that he could have you. No application needed. No stealing. He can have you. I feel like everybody needs to go up to the New Year's Eve show and fight over it in like a Jell-O pit.
00:32:24
Speaker
you can be shamans yeah You can be shaman's problem, not mine. He wants that. i only fight if it's cream corn. yeah I love me some cream corn, dude.
00:32:37
Speaker
Cream corn is disgusting. What? Oh, my gosh. And with some mashed potatoes and chicken. that's what porn That's what poor people eat, cream corn.
00:32:48
Speaker
Yeah, okay. Peasants. Peasants.
00:32:54
Speaker
Yeah. Street rats. Okay. All right. Too far. a Too far, man. ah People, look at you with your cream corn.
00:33:08
Speaker
ah I have real corn because I'm better than you. ah Cream corn's better. You can shit it out better. it all comes out the same at the end of the day. no Never mind. I'm not going to talk about the chair. You open this door.
00:33:27
Speaker
Okay. it's
00:33:30
Speaker
My stomach doesn't process the skin as well. so well And then creamed corn is sweeter and it's easier to swallow. skin Oh, I'm sorry. I thought... my My internet cut out, and then I came back on, and all i heard was that. so And then right right when you said that, I said it's easier to swallow. please be Are you fucking kidding me?
00:33:55
Speaker
Welcome to the show, Shaman. it's glad I'm glad you're here. Show your face. Let's go! Cream corn still has... corn curdles in it. they don't Yeah, but it's more like shredded up.
00:34:09
Speaker
No, it's just cream that they put in with the with the corn. It's not like they don't mash up corn and that's that's that's how corn that's pouring that's called corn mash. He did say porn. He said mash up porn. I heard that. Porn, porn, whatever. soul He totally said porn.
00:34:30
Speaker
ah Whatever. What are you showing up? What can cause rectal bleeding? What? I don't... Now you're making me do
00:34:39
Speaker
Oh, got... I should not have done that. Damn it, Shaman. now you're making me do it oh i got oh wall yeah i should not have done that do mr um I should not have done that.
00:35:03
Speaker
That's why I laughed when you did it, because I can't not do it. It's like a yawn. If you do it, I have to do it back. And you had me fucked up last night with that.
00:35:15
Speaker
Wait, last night or whatever the night before? I don't fucking know. I think it was last night. Yeah, it was last night. Was it on Jedi's show? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:27
Speaker
The Lazy Jedi Shaman and Britney show. That's what Jedi tells me all the time. he He texts me and he always... I have i have a picture.
00:35:40
Speaker
Jedi texts me all the time. He's like, I just let him think that it's his show, but in actuality, it's really the Jedi show. He's told me that before, too. I'm like, that's not cool, bro. He did you a favorite. He's lucky that I let him change the name.
00:35:56
Speaker
to the lazy and shaman show. Cause everybody thought I was the lazy shaman, you know? yeah You're not that special, but no, he put a hashtag, the lazy and shaman show needs Brittany. That's what he texted me.
00:36:15
Speaker
I can have you. I run this shit. i run I'll run your shit. I mean, I run this shit. Wait, what? Oh, Scotty.
00:36:28
Speaker
I'll push your shit. i mean
00:36:31
Speaker
mean.
00:36:35
Speaker
Right in your old turd cutter. i mean, wait, hold on a second.
00:36:40
Speaker
Pinch it off.
00:36:43
Speaker
Pinch it off. Pinch it off.
00:36:49
Speaker
Pinch it off. Pinch it off. Ten minutes later. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, I'm sorry. That YW, though? Oh, man. I totally, like, people have told me that before.
00:37:05
Speaker
And i I, like, yeah. um But here's the thing. If you go back, I thought you got it because you're like, you're fucking welcome. And that's why I put YFW because I was like, oh, she got it. And then like three minutes later, you were like, oh, when I actually wrote it out, I i was trying to be an ass and i then you actually got it. And I just, I died.
00:37:25
Speaker
died. No, then you put YFW in there and confused her even more. Yeah, you got me all fucked up, dude. You made that one. That was you. You're fucking welcome. I mean, I was giving it I think that's what really fucked me up. I don't know.
00:37:42
Speaker
Nah. No, I fucked myself up. Yeah, that's what it that's what fucked you up.
00:37:48
Speaker
What was that? Remember that commercial back in the day? It was like, are you talking to? And it was like, um no one, my BFF Jill or some shit like that. And the girls, the little kids were talking with all the acronyms.
00:38:00
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes. remember that. I'm young enough to remember that. He's old as fuck, so... look So therefore, i i wouldn't I wouldn't remember it. I wouldn't have even seen it.
00:38:13
Speaker
OMG, my BFF Jill. I don't remember that. That's what it was. Something like that, yeah. yeah Nah.
00:38:25
Speaker
That's when they had big TVs that were fat and shit like that. Those were called tube TVs. Thank you. They were TV there. i Stupid. I broke my hand on one of those.
00:38:41
Speaker
Yeah, play see, though that's the problem. is back then, you could throw the remote at the TV. No, I punched i punched it. Because that one person whose grandpa tried to get the restraining order against me, ah i wanted to punch him, but I turned because I knew he'd probably try to get get me in trouble. So I punched the fucking TV.
00:39:06
Speaker
The glass on those TVs are like that fucking thick. um contemplate that Sounds like that restraining order was warranted. Yeah. know That was a supper time.
00:39:20
Speaker
Thank you so speaking Speaking of that, you know I got a complaint at work.
00:39:28
Speaker
It was actually one person complaining. What did he just say I manage a business. and Not my business. Somebody else's business. A pharmaceutical business. in in Urban pharmaceutical. My PhD.
00:39:45
Speaker
Pimpin' who? Pimpin' says pimpin'. You know what I'm saying? My granddaddy was a pimp. His granddaddy was a pimp. Pimp. Oh, man.
00:39:58
Speaker
Sorry. kind so So anyways, this, this bitch, and I know it was going to happen. So I called, you know, the manager above me when this whole incident went down. And, um, basically this bitch wants to write a Google review.
00:40:14
Speaker
She wants to call corporate and she wants to email corporate. Use my name multiple times in there. And then say, you know, how I'm professional and all this other thing, this and that, and how it's very irate and aggressive.
00:40:34
Speaker
And then when she was called and they told her, we'll come in and we'll do this to make it right. She says, no, no, no, no.
00:40:47
Speaker
I'm too scared of shaman. I don't want to go back on your property. she wouldn't I will say like women do take it far sometimes to make men look bad.
00:40:59
Speaker
I totally agree about that. Guess how much trouble I'm in. You're unemployed? ah ah ah No. If you want to share, you can go ahead.
00:41:15
Speaker
um I'm not in any trouble. I'm not in any trouble at all. None and whatsoever. he's a fucking She's a fucking liar. And here's the best part. On on her google review on our Google review, she used her business account so I know where her business is now.
00:41:33
Speaker
my Leave a nice and yell preview. Yeah, so but I'm smart though, right? So I'm going to wait. And maybe around Christmas time. i mean, on my phone right now, I counted. I have 11 email accounts that I can go leave reviews on their shit. Or you can make a fake account like somebody else did. and a just just ah yeah Just put it under a Jedi's account.
00:41:59
Speaker
you yeah do and And you know what I was also thinking? like I got friends in lower places. Yeah. yeah just Just slide her business. ah yeah We can drop her business in in the chat. We can all shout her. Yeah, let's do it. Let's go.
00:42:18
Speaker
Well, we'll wait. We'll wait. And we'll we'll do a coordinated attack. And we'll just, you know what? Yeah, you want to try to you want to try to get me in my job? Well, psych.
00:42:29
Speaker
Yeah. I know what I'm doing. I'm a professional, okay? That's what I do. Nancy, you're going down. You're not the professional idiot, though.
00:42:40
Speaker
That's Michael. No, I can. Actually, I can do that, too, though. I'm unprofessional. You know what? I believe it.
00:42:50
Speaker
I got... there's There's things about me you don't know. i have a particular set of skills. yeah yeah
00:43:00
Speaker
I will find it. will kill you. I mean, ruin you. Ruin your business, not kill you. I'm not going to kill you. I will. I will. bill cosby i mean um I was about to say something similar. That's fucking awesome.
00:43:18
Speaker
Shana invites to Diddy parties. What the hell? The Diddy Christmas soiree. Yo, imagine r Kelly and the Diddy together.
00:43:32
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That'd be hot. You think they use so much baby oil. But do you think with the tea, water and oil don't mix? know I know, right. what I'll tell you what, if if R. Kelly, Diddy, and Bill Cosby join up to do a party, count me in.
00:43:51
Speaker
Ooh! Yeah, going to be a messy-ass fucking party. it's out back He's got the dogs.
00:44:05
Speaker
i need a I need to listen to those clips again, because I used to be able to do that impression kind of good back in the day. Pop. What impression? auto university what impression Wait a minute. The peeing? Are you pissing on people are you mixing drinks? that No, you got it right. The R. Kelly impression.
00:44:31
Speaker
here I believe I can fly. Trapped in the closet. I believe I can touch skin. that's the song that you thought of. and I always think of Trapped in the Closet.
00:44:42
Speaker
You want to see my impression of Bill Cosby? Here, drink this. That was not.
00:44:48
Speaker
not funny. yeah Grape is How about a little bit of pudding on that? Yeah. hoin Shaman, yeah.
00:44:59
Speaker
Got right. I got cookies.
00:45:03
Speaker
Is it gluten-free? Who gives a fuck? I give a fuck. that's pa Shaman gives a fuck. Is it gluten-free, vegetarian?
00:45:15
Speaker
ryan Ryan Reynolds gives a fuck. Yeah. That iguana shaman's screen gives a fuck. Look at it. Chuck Norris gives a fuck. but so
00:45:29
Speaker
My dog gives a fuck. She's getting pissed. She's like, what are we barking at? her for i dancing enough and shit Gluten. I know. It's a bad gluten. You're stupid. Nothing but a little gluten slur over here.
00:45:49
Speaker
Thank God. Slurping up, slowing down that gluten. I didn't know you were so serious about fucking gluten. It's only my arch nemesis.
00:46:01
Speaker
yeah You thought you'd like to wish your arch nemesis. Only when he has... Shut the fuck up. know what's weird? It's like...
00:46:16
Speaker
She loves barking when I'm on other people's strings for some reason. She's
00:46:24
Speaker
he's like, show me attention. a go big we'room What kind of dog do you have? since what did fuck that palmer It's I was say
00:46:40
Speaker
borringgans got a deep voice It's a boy. It's a boy. It's a male. They transition. Yeah. It used to be a girl, but I've been giving her ah hormones. and i think I think he's becoming pretty good, isn't he? Yes, he is. he She actually looked at me like, bitch. Ma'am.
00:47:04
Speaker
my um I'm not a man. I'm going to fucking bite you. It's ma'am. Let's go play some softball.
00:47:15
Speaker
Canceled. you you bu be What kind of dog did you say it was? German Shepherd. Wow, oh you got a Nazi.
00:47:27
Speaker
Great. I was going to say a drug finder. Yeah. yeah she's Unfortunately, it was my sister's dog first and she didn't train her for that.
00:47:40
Speaker
well Unfortunately, oh, okay. Never mind. and if you you if you were so if If you were a drug addict, you would love to have a drug sniffer which dog. damn well Yeah, I always thought it would be cool. I thought like, oh, you got a German Shepherd, you walk down the street, it'll signal what house has the drug, right? I mean that's what you would think.
00:48:03
Speaker
well That's not how it works. I need a beer sniffing dog. You have Kayla. I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean.
00:48:18
Speaker
She's the one that brings you your fucking beer or your kids. If I could send the dog out to like kick somebody's door in and take their beer and bring it back to me, then I wouldn't have to buy used to have a dog that would do that, but he wasn't good at closing the fridge door. You had a dog that would go kick the neighbor's door in and take their beer out of the fridge? I was like, holy shit. It was a pit, wasn't It was a pit. No, it was a laugh.
00:48:47
Speaker
It was a laugh. yeah excuse I said, I want a dog that does that. We used to actually, actually, guys, we had a dog that did that. you know In our fridge. He'd look the fuck out of but he would never shut the front door.
00:49:06
Speaker
It's the craziest thing. you guys I hate you guys. do I come on here? Honestly.
00:49:17
Speaker
I asked myself same.
00:49:22
Speaker
I need it. I do. It's been a rough day. You guys are, i feel like, more retarded than me. <unk> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:49:35
Speaker
YW. you i yeah On being more retarded. Words are hard. you can't even get the fucking words out. You set the bar very high. That is a competition that I think you are running away with.
00:49:50
Speaker
assistance Listen, Glick has a speech impediment. Don't make fun of his disability, okay? That's wrong. And I have Tourette's, so what the fuck?
00:50:02
Speaker
but But you're a female. We can make fun of you for it. Inferior species.
00:50:12
Speaker
The weaker set. I'm going to get a dumpster to put you in. Great. It'll be like being back at home again. yeah I'm scared.
00:50:28
Speaker
fucking should be. That's where I fucking grew up.
00:50:35
Speaker
You are very ginormous compared to me. Chaman's like, home sweet home. This is a little bit more and more at home. I hope they throw out some good shit for dinner.
00:50:49
Speaker
Chaman, you're showing up to the fucking New Year's Eve thing, right?
00:50:54
Speaker
Not physically, unless you guys are paying... Well, fuck, Glick. What did you do, bro? i get free I get three free tickets. I'll give you one. Well, I gotta... Yeah, go ahead. What do you mean you get three free tickets?
00:51:13
Speaker
We don't even have tickets. I know they're not here yet. I don't even know where tickets are coming from, when we're gonna have them. He said... these michael I talked to Michael and they're coming soon. They're coming in?
00:51:32
Speaker
What? lady Michael Copenhaver Southern Outlaw podcast New Year's Eve soiree.
00:51:44
Speaker
What? No. what what What? No, we're doing stand-up. I'm opening. Stand-up.
00:51:57
Speaker
Yeah, she's just resting right now. That's why she's sitting down. I'm preparing myself for New Year's Eve because I'm going to stand up. You're going to... I'm going to what?
00:52:10
Speaker
going to fuck all my shit up. I'm not going to fuck anything up. And I'm going to bomb. I am not going to do anything to your... Your... Your... The opening?
00:52:22
Speaker
Yeah. However, you're roasting. It's... that's fine i don't mind that honestly yes yes here we go yeah yeah what yeah and like you already got thinking about it i'm not even gonna have to do it it that's my that is my evil genius that i am the mastermind that i am i'm just gonna sit there and just go no no no people will sit through that and think that's funny and um
00:52:54
Speaker
The new stuff that I thought about that you don't even fucking... You're not prepared for it. You're not going to be prepared for the shit I made up, motherfucker.
00:53:05
Speaker
yeah yeah that get get good you they not yeah yeah I told Michael that you told it or that that you told me that going to steal the mic from us and just say all the stuff that we're going to say.
00:53:21
Speaker
Be rabbit, you guys. yeah Mom's spaghetti all over the stage, little bitches.
00:53:31
Speaker
Roast done. Mic drop. yeah That's what that is, Shaman, if you do. Mic drop.
00:53:43
Speaker
i'm gonna do Oh, yeah. So I'm not watching. i'm I'm on my phone streaming. Right. But I'm watching my TV so I can see everything bigger. So I said like, oh, you didn't see the and um I look at the TV and I see you doing the mic drop.
00:53:56
Speaker
OK, I got you. No, I get that. yeah Because I was on my phone last night. Yeah, actually. OK. Is it too late? It's too late to apologize.
00:54:09
Speaker
oh got a point they You beat me to it, Charlotte. Me and my siblings play that game. like If you hear something that somebody says and it reminds you of a song, you sing out that song and you get a point for it. so You've got like two or three points now, man.
00:54:27
Speaker
Thank you. thank you tiktok TikTok said that was autism. so You're autistic? you want to That's what they said. Let's get along. Wait, TikTok said that you have autism?
00:54:40
Speaker
TikTok said I had autism like in three or four different ways. so Well, I feel like... I take medical advice from TikTok, Sheldon. Apparently, apparently i got i got the... It's the autism with ADHD or whatever. ah ADHD or some shit like that. They made a new thing set putting... Wait.
00:55:06
Speaker
Are you being for real right now? They made a new name. with like guys Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, my life. I'm not even playing. like i swear I'm not even playing with that. Look it up. I forget what it's called, but it's it's something like that.
00:55:21
Speaker
like I'm going to look it up later. i don't want audio c or some shit All his medical advice from TikTok, is his political knowledge comes from Facebook. It's like Wikipedia. Yeah.
00:55:34
Speaker
Yeah, I'm doing much better now. feel so much healthier. so much better Thank you, TikTok.
00:55:43
Speaker
You can be healthy, too. Yeah. I just got my um health insurance back, so hopefully soon I will be.
00:55:56
Speaker
Way to make it serious, bro.
00:56:00
Speaker
Oh, if you go to the doctors, they're probably going to euthanize you.
00:56:05
Speaker
Oh, shit. She's too far gone, ladies and gentlemen. We got to put her down. was... a wow
00:56:16
Speaker
all Your eulogy. I just realized I had a meeting with HR just the other day, too. And then the complaint came through, thankfully. About what?
00:56:29
Speaker
and No, just like they they come by every once in a while and just say what's up. you like Once in a while, I'll tell him to stop. Hey, what's popping? How you doing?
00:56:41
Speaker
Actually, yeah, it's kind of how it went. is He was like, so what's new? And I'm like, well, you know, this is going on. HR never pops in just to be like, hey, what up? How's it going? My HR lady, she she popped up all the time. She was cool as fuck, though.
00:56:58
Speaker
I never had a problem with her. Whereas last week, that's
00:57:04
Speaker
go out So you got to remember it too. It's been it's in, it's his best interest as the HR representative to make sure that, you know, if there's certain issues I have at the store that I handled them, you know, in a way that falls in line, you know, with their policies and procedures.
00:57:23
Speaker
So, I mean, he's there, you know, when he asked what's new, how's everything going, he's getting a feel about everything and, You know, it's better if we do have questions to ask them. So if we didn't have any questions, you know, these guys know everything. Probably not doing their job.
00:57:40
Speaker
I'm usually the reason for businesses to have an HR department. So HR is the reason why I got fired from my last job or laid off.
00:57:53
Speaker
Well, I did have an issue a while back too with an employee who got, who got violent with me actually. Yeah. Did you get in trouble for it? um No, I thought I did, though, at first. And then I was like, I was defending myself to my like regional manager.
00:58:10
Speaker
And then all of a sudden, i was like, so I don't know why I'm in trouble. And he was like, whoa, whoa, hold on. You're not in trouble. and I was like, oh, I'm not? ah Oh, hell yeah. who Oh, okay.
00:58:23
Speaker
No, we fired the guy. i We fired him for that. That was it. And I was like, okay, I thought was i was in I was like, then why, he's like, why did you think you were in trouble? I'm like, well, when your boss's boss comes and talks to you privately after something like this happened, figure I'm in trouble.
00:58:41
Speaker
yeah He was like, I'm just talking to everybody. I'm like, well, I makes sense, but like still. Right. All right.
00:58:51
Speaker
Okay. All right. Maybe I maybe i was slipping out for no reason. Probably. I don't know what's offended. I believe that, honestly. oh you know how it is? You think you're in trouble, so you're like, nah, man, nah, nah, nah, nah. You're like, you're going to push back and shit. yeah Well, I knew that I was going to be in trouble because when I got injured on the job, like, I told them straight up, like, I didn't want to report it because i didn't want to get in trouble because I have marijuana in the system. and worked on comp.
00:59:31
Speaker
I knew I'd get laid off, but losing my shoulder, it still hurts months later. and it sucks. but yeah They laid me off just because of that.
00:59:43
Speaker
but You got to work as comp though? No, because of the weed in my system. so You know what I did? I had an incident like that. right I was the lead at a warehouse. It was just me and another guy on the night shift.
00:59:56
Speaker
And it was totally their fault because of the conditions and blah, blah, blah, blah. blah And I totally like gashed up my leg. Like I still have a big Nike swoosh on my shin from it.
01:00:08
Speaker
But like I fell in between the warehouse and the and the the trailer and it fucked my shit up. yeah And I just bandaged myself up because I got dirty piss, you know, and I finished out my shift and everything. And like I finished loading trucks up.
01:00:24
Speaker
Um, But it got worse and worse because you were doing it, right? No, not even. The next day I get a call from my my my boss talking about like, hey, you know we heard what happened. I was like, yeah, it's cool. I'll be in there tonight. Don't worry about it. It's all good.
01:00:41
Speaker
And he was like, nah, you got to go to the doctor you know since you got injured. And I was like, nah, I'm fine. you know I was like, it's it's good. I bandaged it up. like Everything's fine.
01:00:53
Speaker
It's just a crash. yeah yeah there My was like, it is it like a paper cut incident? Because it's if it's over a paper cut incident, and then he'll report it. And I was like, no, it's just a paper cut.
01:01:13
Speaker
I'm good, I'm good. But then the worse it got worse and worse during the day. so And I was like, fuck. And I did a detox drink before because they had They sent in the report and I had to go immediately to one of the piss test places. Listen, if your pee isn't clear, then neither are you. You're not in the care.
01:01:37
Speaker
Do you see how white I am?
01:01:43
Speaker
I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I had, when I had, never mind. I used to have to take piss tests before and this drink that I drank worked. Every time.
01:01:55
Speaker
And it didn't work this time. Moral of story, kids. Don't do drugs and you won't lose your job. They're not drugs. Don't be dirty drug addict like these two.
01:02:10
Speaker
Be like Glick and just drink. It's a plant. Shut up. Yeah, okay. Drinking is better. Listen, at one point, at one point drinking was illegal.
01:02:21
Speaker
It was illegal. Prohibition, yes. but is that Exactly. it Is what I'm doing illegal? Am I going out? At one point, you know. It's not illegal for me.
01:02:32
Speaker
Am I going for all my lunch break and taking a little drinky, drinky drink? No. Probably. no I don't. Actually, yeah. What kind of jobs do you do?
01:02:44
Speaker
Untrackable. What's up, dude? drink One night a week. Bull fucking shit. One night a week. Friday, Saturday night.
01:02:57
Speaker
It's one night if I don't sleep. i drink Yeah, I drink one day a week. I drink on Saturdays. That's it. Yeah, because we need to deal with these fucks.
01:03:10
Speaker
ah Even though nobody's in here yet. Untrackable, get your ass up in here. Occasionally I drink on Fridays, but no. Be a good good human being like me.
01:03:22
Speaker
like this What is that? I forgot i i forgot i need to take a shower. so here In a little bit, I won't have to take a shower. I can smell it from here. It's gross.
01:03:33
Speaker
Yeah, you like that. safe that Take that. That musk. Take that musk. with Sweet natural fragrance of a man.
01:03:46
Speaker
Gross. i mean No, you're one of those mood killers. You're one of those... thank Mood killers. and no good pick a cameraer first e I'm just going to jerk off while the shower. I'm good.
01:04:00
Speaker
but right because I'm so horny. As soon as I touch it with soap, it's on. say ah The mood is killed. I'm just going to go jerk off. You're going to bring that up again.
01:04:14
Speaker
You brought it up. Uh-oh, what happened? so You weren't into that. We got into a whole debate. No, no. He took it the wrong fucking way. I didn't say you have to take a fucking shower beforehand.
01:04:32
Speaker
You said. Fuck off. You and Angel. What did you do to piss her off? She ain't been around in a hot minute. It wasn't. I think she's on Blaze's side.
01:04:44
Speaker
I don't care. Yeah, so fuck it. You can have it. yeah ah ah It was a whole to-do. I'm not fucking your dick unless you take a shower. That is not how it went at all. I want a blowjob. Suck my dick. I'm not going to go take a shower. No, that is not how it went at all. the how it went No. God, you're such a fucking mean head.
01:05:16
Speaker
Cleanest sex in the shower with you. Yeah, I was going to say, on the opposite side, I'm totally down with her jumping in the shower before every time. That's cool. Yeah. um What's wrong with having clean sex?
01:05:37
Speaker
That's just hypocritical, you motherfucker. Also, at the same time, If we just get back from the gym and we're both feeling a little horny and we're all sweaty and gross, it's pretty gross pound town.
01:05:48
Speaker
Yeah, do that and then take a shower. I'm down with that. That's fine. Yeah, and then you can probably do it again in the shower. yeah Exactly. Exactly. please That's what I was trying to get through to you. You're all dirty and sweaty again.
01:06:03
Speaker
No, it gets through you, Brittany. Oh, my Lanta. Yeah.
01:06:10
Speaker
Hitting the senses and driving each other crazy. And then you wash all that away when you take a shower. The semen cemetery.
01:06:21
Speaker
You got the hiccups already? No, I just...
01:06:28
Speaker
ah So does the dog. Shut the transgender Pomeranian up. if You know what's funny? I have a Bluetooth in, too, so she can't hear anything.
01:06:40
Speaker
That's a chihuahua that identifies as a Pomeranian. You better be Jake. You better go get him. no You better go get him. peoplebo go get them They're bullies. They're internet bullies. You see their faces? Look at them. Go fucking get them.
01:07:02
Speaker
Not the lizard. The other one.
01:07:05
Speaker
I still can't see the lizard balls.
01:07:10
Speaker
That is wow. I want to see lizard balls now. You weren't there when we were talking about it, okay?
01:07:20
Speaker
Quoteth the Brittany. Give me lizard balls now. Lizard balls. Lizard balls. I wonder... Never mind. Yes, they do.
01:07:32
Speaker
No, go ahead. Finish that statement. wound it Feel free to open the door, Britt. Go ahead. Open that door. Come on. Come on. You know you want to.
01:07:43
Speaker
Open the door. I've eaten cow balls before, but like lizard balls are probably like peas, right? Hey, hey, hey.
01:07:57
Speaker
It's not the size of the balls. It's the flavor. It's the flavor that you savor. That's right. That's right. As long as you shower first. It's the flavor of the ball.
01:08:09
Speaker
but
01:08:12
Speaker
size school matter Dude, this night is... It's how far it's squirting when you're jerking. Okay, that's what it is.
01:08:23
Speaker
Let me squirt. Why are you jerking? Squirt. Why are you jerking? Hurting for a jerking. I got a point. My voice is still coming back. I'm sorry. I lost my voice.
01:08:35
Speaker
So I sound... It should be nice. to to It i won't run away.
01:08:42
Speaker
oh god you just you just rebooted her brain shaman that
01:08:51
Speaker
that took me a second no hello and wow what's going on right now bre I feel like that literally is my brain sometimes who wait a minute hold up wait a minute hold up wait a minute something something get it get it uh that's a half a point a negative half a point i have to fuck off
01:09:25
Speaker
that's another fun game just sing random words and see if we can make her think it's a real song yeah Or you can test me, like play certain songs and see if I can guess it. I can name that song in half a beat.
01:09:43
Speaker
I'm pretty good at that. I do that with my, well, we can't do it on here. Obviously we'll get shut down. oh Yeah. I do it all the time for people. um' oh I'll play a song and like, who is this?
01:09:57
Speaker
Wow. Did you hear that? Ladies and gentlemen, she does it to people all the time. All the time. Fucking slurs over here. Queen slur.
01:10:09
Speaker
Goddess slur. Oh, yeah. No, Scotto is queen. I'm goddess slur. I think. I can't. Oh, fuck off. Whatever. I'm done.
01:10:21
Speaker
Clean Come over here and when you want more. We got the best slurs. All right. but I'm trackable. Get your ass in here. is i didn't even hear what he said.
01:10:33
Speaker
I wonder why he drinks on Saturday nights. Dude. eson Exhibit Okay, cheers. What are you drinking?
01:10:45
Speaker
Your water? Yeah, you got hiccups. Water. I can hear it and I can see you. see not That was his fucking chihuahua.
01:10:57
Speaker
Comeranian or whatever the fuck. See? Stop hiccuping. I think the a to stimulate the anal brain.
01:11:16
Speaker
ah let me i think the hormones wore off wait second
01:11:24
Speaker
don't worry messality's legal okay it's why i drive i do have to stimulate the youably but
01:11:37
Speaker
This is the 10th time today you've stimulated her anal gland. Hey, guys, don't forget to like, share, and subscribe. Yeah, subscribe. How else are you going to milk a dog if you don't seem like... She's going to do it.
01:12:03
Speaker
Nine out of ten of... Granny's approved.
01:12:08
Speaker
It's the 10th Granny that's gonna get it. so Since Granny had a heart attack. Yeah. She's gonna get it.
01:12:20
Speaker
She got them two fingers. a Granny. that bumble each Oh my god. Oh, wrinkled, nasty. They call her Granny Nasty.
01:12:32
Speaker
Grand Granny Nasty. Pull the flap back. Sounds like a door in a horror movie. scur it Right in the fart bucket, huh? okay
01:12:52
Speaker
<unk> it's Run, run!
01:12:55
Speaker
Jesus. yeah thank Yeah, he gave up a long time ago, Britt. Sorry. He ain't got nothing to do with this right now, okay? That's what I said. Okay, Shannon, we need to like talk a little bit more. Actually, no, never mind.
01:13:11
Speaker
Hey, yeah, you want my number? Sorry. let's look I apologize. it She's your problem now. No, fuck that, bro. when you back No get backs. No return. Listen, i gotta I got this card, right? I'm willing to get rid of it.
01:13:34
Speaker
I don't get it. Don't worry. We'll tell you when you're older.
01:13:43
Speaker
i I'm laughing and I don't even know why it's Like I told you, it's funny. You should try it sometime.
01:13:54
Speaker
That's life. I'm so fucking bringing it on New Year's Eve. It's hit me why no way motherfucker yeah that's what i said know is that what i look like when i talk it looked like you were being scotto for a second spot on impersonation
01:14:26
Speaker
i don't approve but cheek i challenge her I'm telling you, you're better. Be better. we like I don't approve. I don't like this.
01:14:38
Speaker
I don't like this. I'm going to re-watch this. chi and I do like get upset with myself and like listening to myself when I re-watch our podcast. I'm like, god fuck. Fuck off, dude. I get upset with you.
01:14:58
Speaker
I'm just kidding. No, but do not rewatch. That is the worst thing you can do. I used to do that, Britt. Oh, my God. I used to critique every little stupid, dumb thing I said or, like, if I stumbled or stuttered on a word or i'm like, oh, I should have said this instead of that.
01:15:16
Speaker
better i had to stop listening to the replays. Yeah. i um you know what i would you You know when I listening to the replays, when I learned that, like, my impressions... don't sound as great when I don't put as much enthusiasm into them.
01:15:31
Speaker
and Normally, I don't put that much. Yeah, know. don't know. Just enthusiasm. Just it. is An enthusiastic bitch can go a long way.
01:15:43
Speaker
And then I stopped listening because I was really embarrassed. Speaking of bitches, what up, Jedi? Jedi, get your fucking ass in here right now, motherfucker. there she is.
01:15:55
Speaker
and default in the club let's go actually I'm not even gonna do that until you get your ass in there sweet sweet Jedi he's getting in here he's got his lightsaber warmed up o oh did you look I sent you um this funny ass fucking video of some Star Wars shit did you look at it you sent me that video Yeah, I think it was... It's naked. It might have been on the group chat, maybe. Oh, I don't know. I haven't seen it.
01:16:30
Speaker
There you go. But he's wearing he's wearing a Stormtrooper helmet. Yeah. Stormtrooper helmet I've ever seen. It's lazy
01:16:48
Speaker
And when the lightsaber comes out, like, it's a dildo, but it still goes... boom Yeah, that's the dream for Glick. He wants that strap-on. Never mind.
01:17:02
Speaker
I'm sorry, what? Please finish that. I want to see where this is. i want to say Actually, for Michael. I want to see where this train wreck is going.
01:17:13
Speaker
Sorry, that's for Michael. What is a lightsaber? Is that something that they use in Star Wars? Snorty cocks. You can fuck right on off. Get your ass in here, bitch.
01:17:24
Speaker
Only thing I know about Star Wars is that Jar Jar Binks is the greatest character. Whatever. Oh my god. is is delicious stuff every playing star whatever There was a gay joke about Jar Jar Binks that I heard the other day.
01:17:40
Speaker
Jar was just gay. Yeah, he's... Which is fine. yeah That's why that's why that's why you had such if Go ask your mom, Jedi.
01:17:57
Speaker
That's why I have... Never mind. Oh, you know what? You know you should have said it? Well, you're here, Jedi. Yeah. Well, his mom don't have to finish for him to be here. I just have to finish.
01:18:11
Speaker
Oh, that's true. That's true. that's you're You're right. All hail Glick. All hail Glick. bridge The race is on and here comes Glick.
01:18:24
Speaker
Come on. No. ah I lost my train of thought. Oh, I know what I was going to say. You want to run a train or who? i can't yeah I can't wait until Brittany tries to roast me. And every joke she starts, she's like, no, never mind. I'm not going to finish. No, never mind. Forget it.
01:18:45
Speaker
Honestly, i might that might happen.
01:18:51
Speaker
I think it's going to happen. You gotta be halfway through it and sitting just in and just stop. go back um now No, no. Honestly, I'm probably gonna be up there like blindfolded or closing my eyes so I don't see him so I can just say the fucking shit I need to say.
01:19:12
Speaker
now you gotta you gotta get pumped before you get in there. like ongoing so Serious, go out there like I'm fuck him up right now. Well, I'm already opening for the stand-up thing. The roast is afterwards, so I'll be warmed up. but also yeah Rocky knew Apollo Creed was going to whoop his ass, but he still went out there and gave it his all.
01:19:39
Speaker
God, the references you make make you such a fucking meathead. It's insane. Fucking meathead. All meaty. Head-like.
01:19:53
Speaker
Sorry.
01:19:56
Speaker
Football. okay thing consider like Bring this bitch in. Right the fuck now.
01:20:05
Speaker
i Judge me about talking about football, but your jackass wants to talk about Lamar Jackson every week. know. Well, it's because you talk so much shit. Can you guys hear me? No. What's up, Lazy? your chest, Lazy.
01:20:23
Speaker
go this school man I think my microphone's dying. You think? Plug it in. it's fucking um I'll turn you up. Oh, you're all the way the fuck up.
01:20:36
Speaker
Are you? Whoa. whoa you look at guys He was standing straight up there for a second
01:20:45
Speaker
second. Monument. Okay, now can you hear me? We can hear your laundry. Sounds like you're going through puberty. Yeah, yeah, yeah my laundry's going really fucking hard in the paint.
01:20:57
Speaker
You in a laundry mat right now? No, but, you know, my man cave is where my laundry's at, okay? I don't know what else to tell you. Very good man cave. No, my fucking microphone's fucking dead. I was on a stream earlier, and I was talking for like 10 minutes, and everybody's I see your mouth moving, but you're not fucking saying anything. I'm like, damn it. I'm turning it down.
01:21:20
Speaker
Bro, you sound like 30 years younger. this Why is that funny? I don't even get it. I don't know, Brittany. Shut the fuck up.
01:21:32
Speaker
You're gonna come on... already did. I already did. Do not cum. Do not cum. Mennonite song is why his beard's got the white stripes in it. Yeah. Dude, see, that is obviously going to be one of the jokes.
01:21:52
Speaker
It's his fucking fake-ass beard. Also, Jedi, your comment, what never makes a woman finish? You finish every time. What are talking about?
01:22:04
Speaker
Whoa. Yeah, I do it myself, though. That's okay. I have to do myself too. Just lay there like a dead fish.
01:22:15
Speaker
Because I hope you'll just walk away. play dead. I play dead. I play dead when the Sasquatch is around. I thought it was the same rules as a blackberry, you just gotta play, or a grizzlyberry, you gotta play dead. Just so they go away. This is like three steps away from Dungeons & Dragons.
01:22:41
Speaker
It is. for the yeah Well, it would be, but Brittany snorted up all the game pieces. see. Oh, my God.
01:22:55
Speaker
You
01:23:00
Speaker
know, I really wish could just call in a word tomorrow. like i really like
01:23:13
Speaker
wanna snort along. Snort along if you know words. oh She's got a fucking nose Hoover. Well, I've also been sick lately, so like- Hoover nose. Boogers.
01:23:28
Speaker
I have a big nose.
01:23:32
Speaker
What?
01:23:35
Speaker
Oh, is it really Tommy Fonks? Let's go! so You thought it was a bird, but it's not. Johnny Bongs. What up, dude?
01:23:46
Speaker
How are you? yeah what out there Dude, Dude. Just finished having quite a good guy, Scotty Campbell and Wally there. Wally? Yeah? Yeah, sir. Ethan!
01:23:58
Speaker
but What's up? Hell yeah. Hey, hey. Hey, Johnny. What's up? the hells Johnny, can i get ah can I get a mustache twist like an evil guy? You know?
01:24:11
Speaker
Glick doesn't even know the people on his fucking network. Who's Wally? Never heard of him. Never heard of Wally. Yeah, man. yeah man Johnny said, see we went So we figured we'd come over. I'm watching on TV, so I'm getting it late. It's like Johnny by himself.
01:24:29
Speaker
No, he just walked away, and he finished really quick with Kayla. No, I went to go get beer. Oh. Oh, yeah? What's up Did you turn the lights on? WRGP in the building.
01:24:48
Speaker
put a production what up wall a like but comes over the short thing like fuy like here what's up guys here man did you turn the light no like give you our gp in the building I'll be right back.
01:25:10
Speaker
Don't threaten us. Guttridge Pierce III. What? Uh-oh. Bitch. I just got fucking yelled at.
01:25:23
Speaker
What'd you get yelled at? For doing this. Yeah. Be the man. look I run this place. is my castle. and Oh. You want a bullet in the foot? How you doing, Malf?
01:25:43
Speaker
We're doing. all i Good to see you again, brother. Yep, yep. Thanks for coming over, yeah? Better watch it. Rachel's watching.
Reptile Humor and Florida Anecdotes
01:25:53
Speaker
She's going to get us all.
01:25:54
Speaker
Blake, she just hollered at you. I'm two hours away. I'm safe. and Here. You can come say hi.
01:26:06
Speaker
It don't matter. She's still going to yell at your ass. Broken fucking halo. Shit. The fucking halo the shit youre you have marlows about this fucking big on the horns yeah that's ah no blicks
01:26:33
Speaker
they're theyre they they're about That ring's about that big a piece. Like his dick. Sorry, that felt wrong. the devil this Like a what? what?
01:26:44
Speaker
ah gone You said dick and Shaman's like, wait, what? I'm back. got Shaman's attention on that one. Wait a minute. Is that really just guys pretending to be Shaman? Shaman's like, dick, what? Hey, Shaman, I didn't know you liked lizards.
01:27:07
Speaker
Well, you know, I have one in my pants. Hey, Wally. Wally, this is one thing that I do want to talk to you about. um My roommate, housemate, her son is 12 years old.
01:27:24
Speaker
He's a lizard. He loves reptiles.
01:27:30
Speaker
Is he a lot lizard? He's learning from antiquity. The way you're setting this up sounds like he's a lot lizard. I don't know what's going on here.
01:27:42
Speaker
i just He wants to talk about facts about lizards and reptiles and stuff. And listen, this isn't a fucking lizard. It's an iguana. All right.
01:27:54
Speaker
there's your share Yeah, it's actually a Fiji iguana that you have as your screen. things worked i know Yes. to pretend like I knew that. but I just wanted to see if that was okay with you.
01:28:09
Speaker
That's fine. Get with me sometime and I'll get them up on the show. I'm not saying you're in Florida or anything, Shaman, but down in Florida, you guys be careful if you're down there because there was a warning for iguanas falling out of trees the other day. I've seen that shit. That's where i got this PFP from. That's what happens when it gets cold. They just like... They sure well they shovel up as well.
01:28:34
Speaker
before That's easy dinner. i trying to know but ah I talk local language was like, get them iguanas and eat them. And she's like, you can't eat iguanas. And I said, yeah, can because I have. And she's like, yeah, you can. Yeah, you eat iguanas.
01:28:52
Speaker
You shove a stick down their throat? Yeah. What'd you say? shovard My mind me immediately.
01:29:04
Speaker
Same thing. I mean, look, Shaman's a lo route lonely man. You know, you got to do what you got to do. be her pimp.
01:29:19
Speaker
Hey, listen. it's We'll call it dinner and a movie. You know? um Oh, my God. You get the movie first. Shaman, you're really pushing No, you'll get you'll get the movie after because you don't really want to know how the sausage is made. you know Oh my fucking god.
Household Humor: The Loud Dryer
01:29:43
Speaker
Sometimes. Oh shit.
01:29:47
Speaker
Yo. yo straight up Yo. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo,
01:29:54
Speaker
yo. Yo, yo, yo. Yes, Britt, you cancelled. Huh? $20. What do you mean? Yeah. That was gold right there. No, it was like sterling silver. You're right. That was platinum. No, sterling silver. That was fucking rare minerals ah conceived on an asteroid in another fucking solar system.
01:30:24
Speaker
You don't even know what fuck you're saying right now. You don't know what the fuck I'm saying right now. Wait, who's making sausage? Wait, is that what you were doing, Lazy? My God. Who's ass got destroyed? That's why Lazy just... Listen, if you'd like to have dinner in movie... Fuck.
01:30:46
Speaker
and The link is pinned. the Link is pinned in the chat. if I'm gonna have like that dinner in a movie.
01:30:59
Speaker
That was a good callback. Good callback. Oh well It's getting hot in I got another point. got another point. No, fuck you.
01:31:11
Speaker
I got the you didn't. It's all that hot air, Brit. Trying to figure out the word. Now you don't know what you're talking about, Britt.
01:31:24
Speaker
Mandy, who you talking? Who's the handsome Jedi? have not seen the handsome Jedi in these parts. No inform me, Britt. I think my wife and driver in our dryer is so fucking loud.
01:31:44
Speaker
I'm your man! I'm your man!
01:31:50
Speaker
um Bro, you can put a snort after it. It's Brittany, bitch. Fuck. You know? Oh my god. Oh, fuck. That was the funniest thing. Manny, get your ass in here and i I'll do it again.
01:32:06
Speaker
Do it again. Snort me, bitch. Do it. Manny, we need you. We need your presents, OK? Not just for the snorts, but for the giggles. Don't hurt yourself thinking too buddy. It's not even Christmas yet.
01:32:18
Speaker
What's up, Ollie?
01:32:21
Speaker
told Glick don't think too hard, he's he's deep inside of it. Oh yeah, he doesn't know how to think. Yeah, what's going on tonight, Glick? What's going on? Wait, hold on a second. He decided between cream corn and jello wrestling. I was trying that was trying to let Brittany finish her thoughts there. He doesn't know how to think.
01:32:44
Speaker
What? What were you saying? Okay, you want to talk shit about me and then how you're going act like this?
01:32:58
Speaker
oh shit I'm gonna put more gravel in my dryer so that we can drown out the the domestic dis dispute.
01:33:10
Speaker
Oh my god. That's okay. I like domestic, too. Oh my god. I strongly support.
Playful Dominance and Roasting Sessions
01:33:20
Speaker
Words are extremely hard if your name's Britt.
01:33:24
Speaker
i that that la My name is Brittany, get it right. wait but briy mey Yeah, Brittany.
01:33:36
Speaker
Yeah, you're number one too, here. yeah Damn Wally, you're off the chain. What are we, what are we, well? I'm not flipping off, Wally, but thanks. be Oh, hold on, my eyes itch. Oh. Oh, I, I do do that. Damn it, Wally. God, I hope she puts her finger in her eyes. aye
01:34:06
Speaker
I'm getting a death glare from the other side.
01:34:10
Speaker
so hot Oh shit. Paul, you're in trouble. yeah my out there' a priest do niaa' yeah thinking that that won't get right there That face is what they modeled the or death was
01:34:24
Speaker
yeah i know I love how Wally's streaming from the traffic hub of his house. Like, hey, who's going to walk through here the most? Let's stream from this area.
01:34:35
Speaker
Yep. We got the pedestrians in the background at Wally's. We got his goddamn dryer. think shaman's fucking fucking that identifies him as a chihuahua.
01:34:48
Speaker
Oh, God damn. do Okay, look, you can be funny sometime. You have some some... Wait, when did that happen? I've never heard that. I know. It's sometimes there. She's been really nice today. She said something nice to me. I totally forgot what it was. But I... She even shiva said thank you.
01:35:11
Speaker
and it it was crazy. I told her YW and apparently I was the first person to ever tell her that. i had a we had to get if you completely I've been a very nice person today okay, you
01:35:29
Speaker
And she even said, you're fucking welcome. I And then he made ah an acronym that I could not fucking understand. It's not for you. I was like, what?
01:35:44
Speaker
it's It's the hair color. Duh. That's what I was trying to tell him. blow Yeah, it will do it. It's not the biggest amount of drugs that she's done. I don't do drugs. Marijuana is a drug.
01:36:01
Speaker
It is a plant. So caffeine. It's a bug. It's a minor psychedelic substance. yeah Thank ain't seen no shit smoking. Thank you, John.
01:36:18
Speaker
Don't get me wrong. I've seen some shit smoking some weed. Actually, Mother Nature provided it for centuries. Mother Nature has provided shrooms for centuries. And shrooms are fucking amazing, too.
01:36:33
Speaker
I never tried them. I want to so bad. Oh, they're they're funky. They're funky. They're funky. They're funky. Funky, fresh, and delicious? No, they're cool. I laughed at the wall. I laughed the wall for no reason for six hours.
01:36:53
Speaker
I want that in my life. just want to look at wall and see if you go. laughs at his computer screen in the shower. Lazy, all you gotta do is look up here in the corner above me and you can laugh all you want.
01:37:05
Speaker
Wally better be on the fucking wall. Damn it, Wally. You have a chuckle hut down there, Wally. You big laughful grouper. I think Glick needs a hug. He seems a little aggressive.
01:37:19
Speaker
Come and give me a hug. I'm just gonna snuggle up in your beard. how one That's not the kind he wants. Oh.
01:37:33
Speaker
That's the only kind I'm selling. That's exactly what kind of hugs. Oh. So you're cheating on Chris now, huh? but he could get specific fifty fifty this Oh. He said his full-on thing. Yeah, what now, Jedi? Wait, what?
01:37:47
Speaker
What? He's not cheating. We have an agreement. I know that he's a dirty, filthy whore. And that you know his his body is a wonderland for a lot of different people. It is true. Actually, i can't afford the tickets though I have my my floor plan. He is number three is the vice president of the vice person of slurnia Yeah, like poor jedi or je I Jedi No, not poor Jedi. He's gonna enjoy it very much. Is that a promise? You're gonna fucking enjoy it. You're gonna have to every last drop. I mean, second.
01:38:34
Speaker
yes He's the one on the pole. Like, come on. And everybody's gonna be able to- mean, I have them practicing on the pole. Everybody's gonna be able to- What's up, Chris, technician?
01:38:47
Speaker
Everybody's gonna be- Cuz you're- Is this Veterans weekend? What the fuck up, Sean? None of a shit. Damn. I say that every Friday. I'm sorry, as you can tell, I just kind of don't do out.
01:39:01
Speaker
Everybody is going, because you are default, you're on the pole. They're going to be able to customize you however they want. He does enjoy being on a pole.
01:39:15
Speaker
He rides a lot of poles. he likes those rods. That's a good idea. Honestly, we should probably like do that. Yeah, it is Tuesday. You know what? That's what I do through Sunday through Thursday. Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays when I unwind. out with you guys. You're trying to bring, you're trying to do work talk here. I'm a pimp. I'm the pimpette. Pim. You wish.
01:39:45
Speaker
you you wish
01:39:49
Speaker
Wally, why you call a pimp? There's a difference between a pimp and a pimp. Can you imagine if Brittany was your pimp and at the end of the night you were paying her out, and you just had the same 20 that you kept flipping and counting?
01:40:04
Speaker
20, 40, 60, 80? Hey, don't give away. God damn it, Glick. You're going to cost me money. That's my secret. Don't tell her. She'll forget in five minutes Jedi, you're fine. Okay, perfect. i Give it 30 seconds. 30 seconds.
01:40:18
Speaker
I'll be right by it. Goddamn, you've been thinking lots of good times. And three, one. How do I only have to go? forgot, I'll be right by i go forgot i'll be right I just got from that no that' it you're just slow oh
01:40:40
Speaker
That's goddamn catfish photo of my... You're not you're not my accountant anymore, okay? You're giving away all my secrets for Satan. Of course, don't that' fine When she comes back, ask her the question we were just talking about.
01:40:54
Speaker
She'll forget. You're going to ask her. She's going to go, YW, you're welcome. Duh.
01:41:01
Speaker
YFW.
01:41:08
Speaker
We spent way too long on that YW. Actually, Shaman and I had moved on and she was still on it. He's got a screen. No, that's Brittany has the hiccups.
01:41:24
Speaker
Either Brittany has a hiccup or Thomas having sex with his doll and a squeaky blanket. We don't know. We know you can still hear us, asshole. Hey, lookers. Oh, wait, are we live?
01:41:41
Speaker
Are we live? No. No, we're recording. No, we're just hanging out in your garage, Blake. Don't worry about it. This is backspace. I have a garage? I have a garage? You do now. Blake, if you have a garage where you live, there's something seriously wrong.
01:41:56
Speaker
Yeah, right. I mean, got good I could. I could throw a couple neighbors out and just expand. Yeah, that's true.
01:42:05
Speaker
The garage used be the neighbor's house, but I kicked him out. Yeah, I go from a three-bedroom, two-bath to a six-bedroom, four-bath and turn the last one into a garage. This is asshole.
01:42:21
Speaker
oh Yeah, make it interesting. Hey, wasn't Mandy going to come up here? Where's Mandy at? We need Mandy in our lives. She's been about an hour. An hour? That's so long.
01:42:34
Speaker
I think she went and watched LSU lose today. Jedi, you'll be okay. You've got Glick to protect you. Oh shit, LSU is losing. If you say so.
01:42:46
Speaker
I'm sorry to burst your bubble like that, buddy. That's my bad. Dammit, Wally. What were you eating earlier, Wally? Was that chili? What the fuck? Did you bring some for the rest of the panel?
01:42:57
Speaker
Hell no! I'm fat and it's my food. You greedy bitch. Yes. Well, he is fat. He's big ol' fat fuck. Yep. Goddamn.
01:43:10
Speaker
He's my big ol' fat fuck and don't any of you asses call him a fat fuck. Nobody was ever thinking about him.
01:43:20
Speaker
Way to establish dominance, Glick. He staked his territory. hey Don't let Glick lie. He's my bit he's my bitch. not I'm not his. so Keep telling yourself that, Wally. You are tapping out like a little fatty-backed motherfucking bitch. Damn.
01:43:40
Speaker
Hey, she's back. I won't stop until you call me daddy. You can tap out all you want, but you have to call me daddy, Wally. That's not even ever going to
01:43:55
Speaker
Lazy Jedi said something about chili, and it reminded me of Kevin's chili from The Office. Yes. That cold intro where he fucking spilled and started scooping it up with fucking...
01:44:10
Speaker
I'm glad you like The Office. Okay, Brittany, I'm literally wearing Vance Refrigeration fucking hoodie. Yeah, show it.
01:44:21
Speaker
It's one of those, it's hard to show. But the funny thing is, like if you don't know The Office, it's not any way branded as The Office, but it is Vance Refrigeration, so if if you don't know, you don't know.
01:44:34
Speaker
Oh, that's lit. If you don't know, now you know. Good fella, what's going on with you, brother? Good fella. Appreciate you speaking by NGS in the building.
01:44:47
Speaker
What up, mate? Salute. Do we need to give you guys a minute alone, quick? Don't do that again. Salute some balloon. We'll do what? The loop. The loop.
01:45:00
Speaker
Brittany. She's ass backwards. I'm bass-ackwards. She's bass-ackwards. Bass-ackwards.
01:45:12
Speaker
Bass-ackwards. She's bass-ackwards. Okay, I like that. It's kind of funny.
01:45:17
Speaker
But not funny enough to make you fucking snort me car I've never said my life Yep obnoxiously Wally why are you on his side?
01:45:33
Speaker
me in the back yep obnoxiously laughed wallie why are you on his side That's my boy. You know what? The closer it gets to the roast, Glick gets more aggressive. I think he's so weird about this roast. know. It's literally like he said he's going to pull the cord and take it. Hey. can get out of the tube. Just like the whole thing's one big tampon and he's going to yank that cord? And he's like going to say all the jokes that we got.
01:46:01
Speaker
I've got dirt on him I could bring up, but it stays with me until the day I die. Well, you can try it's two-way street right now. All right. Hey, like I said, dude, you're not... I feel like Link and Wally are scissoring right now.
01:46:15
Speaker
Yeah. We might be. Don't worry about it. Are you jealous? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I'm fine. Link, if you start doing that, he's going want me to scissor him, too. So stop. Yeah, I was going to say, Wally, you're not going to... You're setting standards. You're setting standards.
01:46:33
Speaker
I'm a pimpette so I can hook it up. All I think about is Smurfette. The only female in that village.
01:46:43
Speaker
I just don't want to watch. Who's filming it though? Shaman. Shaman films it all. You know what, I'm done with this Film it from the down.
01:46:54
Speaker
you know what i'm done with this bit from the pfp down all from the PFE now.
01:47:05
Speaker
okay ah
01:47:12
Speaker
Who let Miss Piggy Shut the fuck up, Wally. Next Saturday, I'm going to give you five minutes. You can do a set who next Saturday.
01:47:26
Speaker
No, because all I've been practicing is my set that I'm doing for New Year's Eve. So, no, I'm not going to do that. You got a week to come up with something for next Saturday. Game on. I'm already...
01:47:41
Speaker
Okay, I do have extra stuff because I'm up to 10 minutes of time that I have. No, no, no, no. Can I finish? extra like discharge Can I finish my fucking sentence? No, 10 minutes is how long I have for the opener.
01:47:59
Speaker
But I have about like 20 to 25 minutes of minutes of shit. Well, let's see the other half let's see the other half next Saturday. was going to say, you should have no problem with doing five minutes next Saturday.
01:48:15
Speaker
All right, maybe. Okay, fine. Yeah, I do need to test it out on people. That's going to the longest ten minutes of that audience life on you. you keep fucking doing this shit, yeah, probably.
01:48:28
Speaker
like You'd be all right. You got it. No, I know I got it. I'm not going to fuck with you when you do that. Unless it's terrible. Sad part is is me me and Glick could go an hour each on each other about our fucking throwing each other under the bus if we wanted to. An hour each on each other.
01:48:49
Speaker
An hour. Oh, yeah. ah Don't be jealous. Are you also a mime on the weekends now, too, all of a sudden? what are you are you also a mime on the weekends now too all of a sudden words are hard i'm not gonna speak anymore yeah wait a damn minute Glick is you and Wally going an hour on each other gonna be part of our only fans or what is that? you going solo?
01:49:12
Speaker
we're in the middle also your grammar was totally wrong right there it was supposed to be ARE you not IS you Uh oh.
01:49:26
Speaker
Shut up, Brittany. How was my grammar there? Damn it. hey You guys call me stupid, but... I never asked. Who called you stupid? I didn't.
01:49:37
Speaker
I don't think anybody said that. mean, I thought it really hard, but I didn't say it out loud. what yeah I never called you stupid, but I would never even use that stupid. I called you dumb, but I didn't call you stupid. You is dumb, Brittany. You good?
01:49:53
Speaker
not good i'm Just kidding, baby. It's fine, I it. Or am I? I don't... It's a fucking... Damn it.
01:50:04
Speaker
What's a malicious... To the panel! Saturday night, everybody's gonna eat on the counter on the panel night? While he was covering his face? Fucking Johnny Bones was going to town on whatever fucking... Yeah! Mmm! Mmm!
01:50:16
Speaker
Fucking steak burrito. It's gonna happen on Saturday. Johnny Boggs is eating ass and taking names. Where's Johnny Bones? Fucking steak burrito, man. Steak burrito, let's go. I like to eat sounds really good though.
01:50:32
Speaker
I just eat it. So I'm like, you wanna share? He's eating the mouths of some of his peasants. So what you're saying is you'd like to have Fidel Bong's burrito in your mouth?
01:50:46
Speaker
That's what she said. And he said. At this point, right over by this conversation anymore. You just show your face. You're like, I'm good. whichly participate in this panel by being here so you just show your face you're like i'm good You are guilty by association, by association for 30 years. Then you can really claim it.
01:51:08
Speaker
yeah theyilled my facemakers too much try be guilty my association for thirty years then you can really climb it Oh, yeah.
01:51:22
Speaker
We're only just dropping some foreshadowing here. have i have I have a lot of good ideas. Oh my god. Wait, who has a foreskin shadow? You do.
01:51:34
Speaker
Foreshadowing? Uh-oh. Hey, who let the hood rats in? Oh shit. This is like a botched circumcision. It's hoodney.
01:51:49
Speaker
Oh shit. No, you're a botched abortion. Ooh. Ouch. No, I was just a crack baby, but it's cool.
01:52:04
Speaker
You know, crack baby. You wanna make shit serious? I'll make shit serious. Crack baby. Nobody else is gonna laugh at that, I will. She gets right in the camera, I'll fucking make shit serious, don't you play around. I love as a motherfucking crack boy, you wanna do serious with me? Well, if it ain't crack, then it's whack, okay? Nobody else is gonna laugh at that, I will.
01:52:23
Speaker
a Okay, go for it. Do it. Laugh right now. Laugh, Johnny. Laugh. Ow. Oh, shit. like That's what these that's that the sound of oppression is right there. Johnny's laugh.
01:52:38
Speaker
I hurt my
01:52:48
Speaker
i don't what to say is so speech like Be careful what you say cuz Johnny will put you in a prison if you don't know what Johnny's not know what's like many name na johnny's mu yeah on later of jesus there is not That's my dude.
01:53:14
Speaker
so that's my du but the a work bri but and what fuck are you trying Are you okay, Wally? Wally's having a seizure. It's fine. You're being meaner than Glick is usually. I don't even know you like that. What the fuck?
01:53:30
Speaker
Yeah, Wallace. What is your problem with Wallace? It sounds like you might be a best. Wallace. ah It'd be all good. Let's go get over it. Don't forget the 30 seconds.
01:53:40
Speaker
I'm never not calling him Wallace from now on. Damn it, Wallace. Wallace, Rutherford, Gutridge, Pierce III. That's his slave name.
01:53:54
Speaker
See, mine was Cassius Clay. wow over hu Mine was Kunta. Kunta. Your name's Toby, boy. he Oh, shit. Oh, shit. It's Kunta.
01:54:08
Speaker
We are definitely cancelled. No, I had to watch that in high school. It was not that long ago, you know, compared to you guys.
01:54:23
Speaker
How many teachers did you date? All of them. Oh, wait, me or her? ah Oh, Glick, come on We know you didn't date any them. No, I was a prude. Except for the fat history teacher. I bet you guys, I bet you guys did the fat history teacher. What is this, 85-year-old English teacher?
01:54:41
Speaker
Yeah. took her goddamn dentures out, and I learned about the history. Gums it. You got the gumming. learned about history. I don't know.
01:54:55
Speaker
Oh my god, I have... I'm not... I'm just gonna keep reading my brain. I'll tell you what. You coming, and I started coming. Alright. You started coming, I started coming. Come on, Jersey.
01:55:13
Speaker
Jersey! That means MoDog's gonna be here soon. MoDog already came.
01:55:24
Speaker
it that's why they're showing up
01:55:31
Speaker
Help me and lord lol Wally what the fuck are you talking about? Oh good you're back at the subway station where everybody's just walking by. Who the fuck is the statewide nanny lolol?
01:55:46
Speaker
While you're at the laundromat. yeah like like I took the subway to get to the the laundry mat, so like that's why I've seen all these people already.
01:55:58
Speaker
re okay love it i love how Wally just looks confused. And then there's just a bunch of people walking around behind him.
01:56:14
Speaker
That's his normal look. he is his His natural state of being is just confused. And he wants to talk shit about me being blind. Fuck you, dude. Hey, at least I don't sit there and talk shit and don't know what I'm talking about like you do.
01:56:30
Speaker
You literally are.
01:56:36
Speaker
i done you
Spontaneous Humor and Personal Stories
01:56:40
Speaker
and he said it I was thinking this way more aggressive you literally talk you literally are you confused bitch I Didn't even say any names either I can't breathe I i am v Woosa! Woosa.
01:57:06
Speaker
I know you're sticking up for your bro, but god, calm down, man. Nope. It's your game on. Game face is on, motherfucker.
01:57:18
Speaker
Easy, you might hurt yourself.
01:57:23
Speaker
Just put something shiny in front of the screen, and it'll distract her. And she'll forget what's going on. No, that's you, you fucking a meathead. No wonder you guys get a I'd make Rocky reference of the meat. Was that a football?
01:57:40
Speaker
I haven't said anything about it. I'm surprised you haven't already. Shaman, you need to pick a side, OK?
01:57:52
Speaker
Fucking lizard nuts over there, it doesn't say a goddamn word. I think shaman's side, okay? That's who's side, You had to, you had to... You had to go... Oh my god, you're gonna snort up your Wi-Fi router and we're gonna lose you.
01:58:12
Speaker
At least I'm not paying for it o
01:58:20
Speaker
down
01:58:24
Speaker
Why is that so funny right now? Looked in the mirror again.
01:58:31
Speaker
I don't like to do that. You dick. You're rude. I'm beautiful.
01:58:39
Speaker
ru and beautiful did just fine
01:58:46
Speaker
no Stuck the landing, Brittany. Right on her face. Whoa. Her facial... Hey, that's probably why I have a pimple because I haven't had a facial in while. Your are going to be blowing up after that comment. Hold on, there in a minute. Lizard Nuts is on his way. That's not enough.
01:59:12
Speaker
it's never now but no all good I can add her to my hair on me. Hopefully you don't live in a cold cold. That my laser ma well slow him down. New plan.
01:59:25
Speaker
New plan. some New plants oh plan. Oh. I think he's just going invade South America. tiny cage. Maybe. Everyone works out better. Everyone works out better.
01:59:43
Speaker
Her padded room. out He's going to invade eastern Pennsylvania. Britt, do you feel about a padded room in South America? I've been to everyone.
01:59:59
Speaker
I've been there. In America? Oh, you don't understand. Out in the fucking jungle. Yeah, I've been in the jungle. He also has a dog that will kick the ear.
02:00:09
Speaker
Malaria. Malaria will be your friend. No, i already got my shot. Okay. They're going to come up with some milk you don't have a shot for. They're going to come up with some milk you don't have a shot for.
02:00:26
Speaker
What? wait hu It's kind of like like the like when they give you some shots. No, it's not malaria. It's tetanus shots and everything else.
02:00:39
Speaker
And your flu shot, your smallpox, all that shit there, dingus. When a mommy virus and a daddy virus love each other very much, they multiply. God, you are. Call it Brittany.
02:00:51
Speaker
Johnny. yeah Can Johnny repeat himself and Wally not talk over him? When a mommy virus and a daddy virus love each other very much, they multiply and take over South America.
02:01:09
Speaker
Why is everything you say? just very yeah yeah impulsive-minded. Which, that's why that's why I love having you here, Johnny.
02:01:23
Speaker
here yeah and You won't soon, trust me. Johnny's like a weird... Now I'm scared....that just makes noises.
02:01:34
Speaker
I dig it. Are you working on any new artwork?
02:01:39
Speaker
That's
Artistic Pursuits and Nonsensical Conversations
02:01:40
Speaker
a good question.
02:01:43
Speaker
Fucking... We have flash work that I still have to color in yet, and it throws us
02:01:50
Speaker
Well, I saw the like the tattoo a lady face or whatever. It was a rose and shit. Tattooed lady face. It's like a traditional like tattoo type drawing.
02:02:06
Speaker
gotta find it, but I think I know which one you're talking about. Johnny's training to do that. So a lot of times while he's on here and he's just like hanging out, he's working on his art and shit like that.
02:02:19
Speaker
He's supposed to be working on a bunch of Nordic stuff, but apparently he's failing me. No, I'm still working on that. That's going to be photorealistic, which means it's going to take about a year. You know what? I'm going to do it before him, and you're going to pay me for it, motherfucker, Glick.
02:02:33
Speaker
pay nobody for it. I mean... like you i You're going to send me the pictures and I'm going to take them to another tattoo artist and have them do it. That's not how this works. I'm not saying I'm going to tattoo you. Maybe one day if you would let me because I do have a tattoo again. Now I agree with Brittany. That's not how this works.
02:02:54
Speaker
I know that is a lot of trust. That's not how this fucking works. What happened to you, Wally? Did you did you freeze? I've been practicing on fake skin and I have practiced on a couple people.
02:03:08
Speaker
I've practiced on facial faces. ah one Wait, let's see that fake skin you've been practicing on. We want to see the quality. I don't have it here. Yeah, of course you don't. look On facials, I mean facials. I'm just giving you shit, Brittany.
02:03:26
Speaker
I was about to do the arm thing. oh Now you don't get it. I'm sorry. Brittany, don't withhold. particular for particular Okay. in my life?
02:03:39
Speaker
So much better. oh it's better my dear no my leg
02:03:46
Speaker
What am I doing with my life? That's what I say every fucking podcast. I say, what is my life?
02:03:56
Speaker
I'm sorry, it... You all help me so much because you're making me rethink my life choices. a I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
02:04:07
Speaker
Yeah, it's That could go either way, really. You make... It doesn't make you feel better about yourself? All you need to know is you've helped me, okay? You've helped me make decisions.
02:04:20
Speaker
Alright, that is a clear indication of what you... He's decided to be better than us. That's what he's saying. Yeah. Hey, I wanted to let you know, Johnny.
02:04:31
Speaker
I stopped by and I liked your fucking... your shit. I liked your shit. liked your shit, bro. Well, hello there. How you doing, Jerry? I gave you a like...
02:04:46
Speaker
So, you're welcome. Well, thank you. Thank you. Well, thank you for being here. You're turd and a half, but we enjoy having you.
02:04:57
Speaker
Why? You're welcome.
02:05:02
Speaker
It's always a grand time. A grand old time. Duh. the Your weird ass salute cracks me the fuck up. How do you even do that again? i want to see it. What did I do? You your weird ass salute. Like, I don't even know how you... What did you do?
02:05:23
Speaker
it's Instead of this, you turn your arm.
02:05:30
Speaker
Okay. Turn it.
02:05:34
Speaker
Counterclockwise. Counter clock laughing. You're just trying to make me look like a fucking car. I- I- My smooth brain can't keep up, okay? Not the hard thing to do.
02:05:48
Speaker
That's default ass brain. Can you- Can you do it, Glick? What's that? The backwards salute.
02:05:58
Speaker
Brittany, you're so limmy though. You got all them limbs that just- off, bitch. They're fucking go everywhere. i can't- do it feel I feel like a T-Rex trying to fucking blow my nose. ten not out of her
02:06:18
Speaker
I do have long limbs, I will say that. And they are skinny. when when i went exactly That's why the arm thing works so good with you, it's so amazing.
02:06:32
Speaker
Well, this is my fucking life now.
02:06:36
Speaker
Wait, what just happened? This is my life. This is where it's gotten me. This is where the journey has led to. Yeah. Are you happy with it? Mine too, Johnny.
02:06:48
Speaker
We're all in this together. I'm i'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. It's life. Some people have a lot of laundry to do.
02:07:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that we fucking do, Brittany. Yeah, and it's gone wet.
02:07:09
Speaker
Yeah, and Jedi's a good house picture. He does what his wife tells her.
02:07:17
Speaker
Jedi, what? Hey, you know what? You know what, Glick? She didn't tell me to come in your beard, but I just did that anyway. Yeah, but we got to charge an extra $50 for that video, so, you know. I know. we We both made enough to go on vacation after that video. Why is it that every time you guys... garage that We're all hanging out to gonna a garage. And we're gonna soundproof it so we don't hear Snortiny Cox.
02:07:57
Speaker
But you know I do construction so I can help you build it. Oh, can you build yourself out of the equation?
02:08:12
Speaker
become
02:08:19
Speaker
Fuck you. That was good. Yo. My application is now... It's not an application. I'm already given you yeah my application is now it's not an application here we can't i can barely hear you because he's in the laundromat. Well, you know, the problem with your application is you wrote it in crayon. What else was I supposed to do it with? Well, you know, that was Glick's lunch, okay? You should have let him eat the crayon instead of writing an application.
02:08:57
Speaker
My brother had to steal something from him. She took she took it out of the picking basket that I was planning for Sarge and hate it.
02:09:09
Speaker
Oh shit, i forgot about the chat. What's going on in the chat? her up Oh, I almost said the wrong name again. Just don't forget about the clothes.
02:09:20
Speaker
It comes out in the lounge. Where is the fucking cricket town?
02:09:31
Speaker
Why can't I?
02:09:34
Speaker
It got a real quiet over there all of sudden, didn't
02:09:38
Speaker
I'm just like, why is it taking so long for longer to be done? I'm more annoyed with it than you guys are listening to it. I'm so like, let's fucking just be done.
02:09:52
Speaker
bad answer It doesn't bother me at all. I just like fucking shit. I didn't realize... doesn't
02:10:10
Speaker
Hey, now we got the Haze to listen to. bit Thank you.
02:10:22
Speaker
fucking quit. Hey, boom! What the fuck is that? it
02:10:32
Speaker
I feel like that's Shaman's lizard laughing.
02:10:44
Speaker
Like you're falling. Dude.
02:10:51
Speaker
you paul in you know how he does it I text him on his joke. What are you jealous? Yeah. I'm green with envy.
02:11:05
Speaker
yeah um i'm green with theby you know you
02:11:21
Speaker
Yeah, good one. Good one. Okay, alright. Fucking crying. still don't know what he looks you looking at?
02:11:37
Speaker
and
02:11:40
Speaker
like what are you working hey
02:11:45
Speaker
Oh, I can barely hear you. Flick, can barely hear you. That's a good thing. amen. don't have a try. be somebody else.
02:12:06
Speaker
Because you're deaf, Brittany. Thank you. Well, yeah, duh.
02:12:15
Speaker
Well, no, I'm hard of hearing. get it right.
02:12:21
Speaker
I get hard. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Right. But also...
02:12:28
Speaker
yeah you hey but also me Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe guys!
02:12:43
Speaker
Do you like to get turned off? and john cur you like to get turned off
02:12:54
Speaker
Wait, what? That's time. Yeah, who likes to get turned off? Well, when sleep happens, I like... That's power off. That's turned off. Yeah, sleep.
02:13:09
Speaker
I feel you, I'm not feeling you, Shaman. Don't take that the wrong way. Yeah, it'd be pretty scaly feeling if you did. yeah
02:13:26
Speaker
yes What did he say? The green what? Green with envy? The what? What? Green with envy? Is that what you said? a pretty good one.
02:13:45
Speaker
You asked if I was jealous and I said yeah I'm green with envy. I'm jealous. What the fuck? Jealous of a look. That's what you said, Freddie. Oh yeah. You're welcome. You're welcome. YW. YW. YW. Welcome to the things you've said out loud, Brittany. YFW. She's like, what you talking about? I was like, what are you talking about? You fucking said it. I was thinking about something else. Fuck off the bat. You can fuck right on. I can watch the train wreck that is breaking down.
02:14:23
Speaker
I just heard. try to spew out all the boxes. I think Wally got kidnapped at the subway. better He's gone.
02:14:34
Speaker
He's gone. Hey, you need to restart your We never saw Wally again. yeah I thought he was supposed to come back. Wally becomes an urban legend. nine I think he becomes a robot.
02:14:51
Speaker
He becomes... Sorry, that was not funny. Johnny Bongs, how'd your political rally go? Sometimes. Got political.
02:15:07
Speaker
You know what? Every protester in Johnny's fucking crowd going to Guantanamo Bay. I'm hooking my sister up with a dance.
02:15:21
Speaker
What the fuck is that? You can't masturbate. You can masturbate to anything if you try hard enough. I'm lazy.
02:15:34
Speaker
that's low hey If I can do it, you can do it. You just lost your only excuse, okay? yeah i here like I once caught him with photos from Auschwitz. And I'm like, what are you doing, bro?
02:15:49
Speaker
on thank You soon? You soon? No, it's too late. You you really missed the boat on that one. I'm glad Rylan said something because I was totally not going to say anything. Jedi's currently googling Auschwitz. He's like, wait a minute, what is the top of that? Wait, what is Auschwitz? that a recipe for something?
02:16:13
Speaker
yeah It's getting smoky in here. It's a restaurant. It's getting quite smoky in here. Yeah, they have a smoking section.
02:16:24
Speaker
It's a smoky recipe. God, you haven't had that since the nineteen thirty s It was the 40s. Come on. Sorry.
02:16:36
Speaker
Sorry. No, I joined in with it, so we're good. Wait, what? Chicken butt? It's okay. It's okay. It's okay, guys.
02:16:50
Speaker
um um umm I'm due. So, why whatever. like immediately. thing that I do.
02:17:05
Speaker
I appreciate you. You probably left him at the wrong house because I'm a can't listen.
02:17:16
Speaker
What? I'm saying thank you. What? Thank you for looking out for me while he was at Walmart. You're talking to me. You're talking to me. Yeah. You're talking to me.
02:17:28
Speaker
Yeah. You're talking to me. talking to me. Yeah. even say anything. are so big. so you probably think sh with the bows do i don't even see anything very I wasn't even listening to you. Why are you singing? shout shaman yeah Who sings that song? Who who sings that song? Oh, let him. Oh, that's a Britney swapper.
02:18:08
Speaker
floors No, it's Brittany and then he's slapper. Two different knees, bitch. Get it right. No, wants to slap you, Brittany. I know. On the ass.
02:18:19
Speaker
Sometimes. Hey, no. You want me to smack you on the ass. No. I'm not. Got a pex for fresh. All right, look. All right, look.
02:18:31
Speaker
Look. You couldn't handle it more than once. Two seconds. There's a stripper in Tampa that still has a mark on her ass. What are we looking for?
02:18:43
Speaker
He said, hey, look, look. So I'm looking. Oh, god damn. I always thought
02:18:53
Speaker
oh damn you Are you going to hear what I was saying?
02:18:59
Speaker
always thought you were but you couldn't hear what i was saying
02:19:07
Speaker
I'm Helen Keller. I always thought you were black because you couldn't hear those. Okay, that's pretty funny. I think they're all still thinking about it, Sean. I know i tough You completely shut down the nonsensical network with that one, Chaman. Too much Too much nonsensical. He just teabagged the whole network with his lizard balls. we I was giving it in a moment to simmer and see how long it takes. Sure. Okay, click.
02:19:49
Speaker
I didn't catch it the first time he said it, I'll be honest. But when he said it, it said it, was fine. And you're still confused, that's the thing. I'm not even listening at this point, to be honest.
02:20:00
Speaker
I'm gonna... Britney's over here like, I can read Brad. I'm Anne Frank, I'm blind and deaf. Wait, wait a second. Isn't that... Helen Keller, right Wait. an Frank, I can do.
02:20:16
Speaker
in break finding this is this is This is history on the Nonsensical Network.
02:20:28
Speaker
It's a brand new show. nonsensical history hosted by britney england once you said the name i was like oh fuck i'm glad to have you guys here thank you yw
02:20:52
Speaker
I'll keep talking shit. Stick up for me girl. I got you. you guys we Girl power. or something. I don't know. just... Sometimes you just have your... Brittany, you can't say like that without a pocket protector, okay? Girl power. I got pussy. No, not a pocket pussy. Pocket protector, okay? Because it sounded nerdy. I mean, you can have a pocket pussy too.
02:21:21
Speaker
Well, I thought it that way. Just so yours has somebody to talk to. Are you going to scissor with the pocket pussy? got that nice hey That's a yes. She thought about it for more than five seconds. it's a definite They're just going to kiss each other like two little fish.
02:21:38
Speaker
It's three. well and they' Two and a half, I guess. with it hey what That's a new show. Two and a half twats. Two and a half twats.
02:21:52
Speaker
One cup. Sorry. You... Okay. Twat. Twat. Twat. hol look
02:22:01
Speaker
okay ah and park is well
02:22:11
Speaker
What was that? What? What? What say? I couldn't hear you. I've caught an ear in fucking. I'll finger her out later. It's okay.
02:22:25
Speaker
Let's go. Except um you're going to have to come to Maryland because Jersey sucks. Yeah, because of Maryland is so much better. Sometimes.
02:22:37
Speaker
Sometimes. he You paid to go into. Whoa, that sounds like prostitution. You don't pay to go into Jersey, but you pay to come out.
02:22:48
Speaker
It is prostitution. You paid to go into Jersey? that That's prostitution. Shaman's on to something. You don't pay to go in, but you pay to go out in Jersey. Whoa.
02:22:59
Speaker
You mean come out. yeah Come in, come out? Where? Don't run while was sitting here. I mean, hopefully it'll come out on the test or something. I've always always wanted a pearl necklace.
02:23:22
Speaker
I got you there. I yeah i know, too far. I'm very hard to believe you've never gotten at least 20. Wow. ah the No comment? I'm going to go smoke.
02:23:38
Speaker
Is there really a such thing, though, Jersey? Wow. What did she say? Thankfully, I live in a nice part. ah No comment. She's from the Burbs. She's from the Burbs. She's the only nice part of Jersey.
02:23:59
Speaker
o
02:24:03
Speaker
south South Jersey. Jersey's about this fucking big. Yeah, right?
02:24:11
Speaker
I'm not saying much, man. But you're the only nice part of Jersey. That's all I got to say. but oh Oh, look, she's on a roll tonight. She is fucking sweet as fuck.
02:24:23
Speaker
Aw, you're so precious. My precious. No, Jersey, tell tell her YW.
02:24:34
Speaker
YFW. I just got really high, and this is a fucking trip.
02:24:40
Speaker
Don't fall, bro. you You just got really high. You need a helmet? Okay, then I'll be right back. Just decided she wanted a dab, so I took one too, and it was, yeah.
02:24:53
Speaker
Just hurry up so you don't get left back.
02:24:58
Speaker
What? Just smoke your drugs, bitch. I feel the world. Hey, man, share that shit, bro. I feel the world saying words. That's me.
02:25:11
Speaker
Oh. That's what Shaman says. It's legal here. It is legal here. like Go smoke your drugs. like I want what he's having.
02:25:27
Speaker
j keep kids eye out Hang called Happy Eddie. Look at all that. Wait, happy endings? What? Look at all that. What is that?
02:25:38
Speaker
It's all gas.
02:25:47
Speaker
of dabs. You don't need all that. Send it to Shaman, dude. I am more than happy to help people. Shaman will dispose of it, okay? He's rooted all those dabs from the village that he's found. Well, that's not even all of it, okay? Look in there. Look at all that dabs. Shaman will send you money, and you send them dabs.
02:26:10
Speaker
I am more than happy to. We didn't have this conversation, but we will finish. We will. It's okay, we will. Well, where is he at tonight?
02:26:21
Speaker
Two weekends in a row, he's ignored us. Oh, that's fun. Well, who the fuck dipped?
02:26:33
Speaker
your county is on point yes holy well when you started one little five little one one two three four five six seven eight nine ten twelve twelve twelve one two three four five six seven eight nine and what from people nine um about twenty twenty one point two twenty three twenty four twenty five twenty take point seven No one watched Sesame Street's brother pass away?
02:27:06
Speaker
No, no, no, no. What the fuck? Oh, yeah, for real. For real. That's why was trying not to joke about it, but that's all I saw the screen. Sesame Street passed away, what?
02:27:27
Speaker
Moe Dogg. Moe Dogg's brother passed away. Moe Dogg, you have my condolences, brother. I'd ask for a moment of silence, but I'm not sure if Lazy's going to stop the dryer or You know the motherfucker just went and added more time on that goddamn dryer.
02:27:46
Speaker
He just put 50 more sticks in there. I added more zippers and gravel to the fucking dryer. so loud. Fuck.
02:27:55
Speaker
fuck Throw a couple pair of shoes in here real quick. There's not even a dryer. He fucking triplets those back there and shit. You gotta grab that out of there. Here, Don. You're gonna get a third degree burn. Oh, boo-boo. What do you want?
02:28:10
Speaker
What do you want?
02:28:16
Speaker
Oh, man.
02:28:26
Speaker
making herself look stupid. The minute I spoke about dryer, it got even louder. It's like, I hear you, bitch. Talking shit over there. I'm gonna get louder. You need to go. You need to go get my wife.
02:28:37
Speaker
e club the old what four for doing launcher right in the middle of live street No, that's the thing. So, it's Fridays, there's no laundry. Everything is cool because Fridays are my day that I'm allowed to stream without interrupting the household. Saturdays, my like I don't give a fuck. We're doing laundry on Saturdays. And now you guys got to hear it. I'm glad to i'm just glad i don't have anything in the background that makes that noise. Yeah, yeah, like, yeah, totally.
02:29:10
Speaker
Like a Pomeranian that identifies as a Chihuahua.
02:29:17
Speaker
fifty Sorry, my Wi-Fi cut out, so I have to be on my phone now. Can you hear me? Unfortunately. That's because you snorted up the router earlier. We heard you.
02:29:31
Speaker
I know how to get him bravin. I literally s said that in clear a lot when were laughing earlier. He snorted up the router. and I i did snorted up I tease because I care. I love i i love it thank you Hey, apparently i own so many articles of clothing that all have zippers that I didn't even know i was a dominatrix.
02:30:00
Speaker
Because my dryer is so fucking loud. Yeah. hey Your zipper per cloth ratio is a little bit off. Yeah, it's all zippers. Just none of them are zippers.
02:30:15
Speaker
That might be the loudest dryer I've ever heard in life. know I think he's actually only washing zippers in there. Yeah, that's all it is. It's not even cloth. It's zippers.
02:30:26
Speaker
I like to keep clean zippers around. Okay? You never know. You never know if you need a clean fucking zipper. He might have a couple of belt buckles in there, but oh not even belt. Hashtag ziplife. Ziplife.
02:30:41
Speaker
I love it. Fuck you, Dreyer. I'm so mad. Even if I wasn't streaming, just being anywhere in near it pisses me off. I'm like, go fuck yourself.
02:30:56
Speaker
Dude, I had to deal with... Uh-oh. Bye, Bray. Dude, I had to deal with the prayer. portrait She forgot to pay her phone bill and her phone bill.
02:31:13
Speaker
And they both cut off. I accidentally hit it with my thumb. But no. That's what I said too. accidentally hit it with my thumb.
02:31:26
Speaker
Shit. That's not even been funny, dude. What? I... trip sli i love
02:31:37
Speaker
I didn't mean to, I i fell on i fell on it. No, I just accidentally hit it. Like, she fell on it, you know? Yeah. Oh, so there's... Oh, you know what?
02:31:50
Speaker
I don't think I've ever heard the opposite reaction to that. Like, oh, she fell on it. Oh. Yeah, what was I supposed to do? I was on the floor. She fell on it.
02:32:03
Speaker
Oh. Oh. get off me and you know I tried to push her off and she'd go right back on. Nope, nope, nope. My naked morning yoga and she tripped and fell.
02:32:16
Speaker
It happens. I'm telling you, it happens sometimes. Yeah.
02:32:22
Speaker
I've tried. The facts are life. The facts are life. I'll have to reach out for him. now I love him I'll take it back. Yeah, for sure. It's hard to skip people's.
02:32:35
Speaker
Well, I'm gonna have to get off of here soon, because people are getting upset. I already got off. I like your new accent. It was cool right now. Thank you. i'll do this quite often with me, Padre, and my brother.
02:32:54
Speaker
What are you fucking doing over here and getting off of here? When I went to England, I tried this accent out and they said, well now mixing it up with like Australian or Zealand. And they deported you immediately? No, they said I did really good.
02:33:09
Speaker
I would talk like this. I would talk like this and then I would just talk this. I would talk like this and be like, a cup of tea please. And then I would talk in a normal like American accent.
02:33:22
Speaker
Well, which was more country then. she said... I knew that at restaurants. They were ready for it. yeah Yeah, they were like, oh shit.
02:33:33
Speaker
What? Oh shit. They're like, dang, you American. i don't care Then you go back and be like, no, it's just practice in my Mac.
02:33:45
Speaker
I like it. Oh, baby, I really like it. We don't need to know what the fuck you like. Oh, my God. No, like it.
02:33:57
Speaker
What the fuck did you just... I called you a twat! I can't hear you. Lazy's dryer is barking too loud. Oh, it is it is quite loud.
02:34:10
Speaker
Can your wife like let you give it a break for a second?
02:34:17
Speaker
What a twat. Sorry. and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so Listen, listen, he's already dried these to the point of no return. There's no looking back now. they have i didn i just turned my dryer up to 11 after that, okay? 11 is my lucky number!
02:34:44
Speaker
oh my god. yeah Shut up, Shannon. You're just jealous. You're an 11-tard.
02:34:52
Speaker
You're because Jedi makes me laugh louder than you do. You need to step your game up, bro. Oh, it's done.
02:35:03
Speaker
It's done. Fuck yeah, we don't have to listen to that shit anymore. Okay, we're all happy. Because 11 is your lucky number. It is. its ah You know, the one thing we can all unite around is my entire fucking time.
02:35:17
Speaker
Yay. Okay, weirdly, it sounds too quiet now. Okay. Turn it back on. I know, right? it's like okay I'm gonna throw some more gravel in there and we're gonna we're gonna turn it back on.
02:35:30
Speaker
No, please. Please don't. Damn it, Brittany. You don't appreciate i just got done doing laundry.
02:35:41
Speaker
So much. Sometimes. Johnny Bongs comes in with it. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes it needs to happen.
02:35:53
Speaker
Dude, I forgot you were here for a second. Oh my Jersey. Jersey is being hilarious in the chat. Jedi, he said keep on sending yours. no no read the Read the one before that and then read that one.
02:36:10
Speaker
yeah Glick, Sarge said he loves you too, but please stop sending him dick pics. It's distracting him. a I do like them together, I will say. It's funny.
02:36:25
Speaker
What, dick pic? No.
02:36:34
Speaker
like vi allli you started out your belly button that time. probably did. I was a crack baby. That was a queer. You started out her with a pee hole.
02:36:48
Speaker
She reversed queef just now. i was just about to say it. No, I just queefed. That's what that was. I'm in your mind. i in your mind. Now. You wish.
02:37:04
Speaker
Sarge's words.
02:37:07
Speaker
God damn, I love Sarge. Sarge's words. Yeah. Modog, he has some pretty good one-liners, I will say. He has the best one-liners.
02:37:18
Speaker
Well, you have the best hashtags. He has the best one-liners. Well, no, I will say Johnny Bongs has... It sneaks up on you, and it's rare. was going to say, Johnny Bongs comes out of left field. You don't even see it coming. That's what makes him so fucking fired. Yeah. He just comes out of the field. Whoa. That's why I was like, I forgot he was even here. I was like, damn, that was good.
02:37:43
Speaker
oh Here's this bitch. Don't suck cleat from the back. Oh, hi, Glick. Yeah. throw anybody Everybody behave. Glick's back.
02:37:58
Speaker
and trash out you should yeah whatever you you said that you were gonna put me in a trash can at Michael's wedding and you didn't you're just watching a foosball. You sound so disappointed Brittany. Yeah because I wanted a fucking well there was other reasons why I couldn't hang out with him.
02:38:19
Speaker
Well honestly it would have been funny Oh, Mandy! Get up here, Mandy. We need you, Mandy. We need you in our Get up in here, Mandy. can't it because I'm on my phone. Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Look, you have to fucking do it.
02:38:35
Speaker
Up in here? looking oh Do the damn thing, quick. Hey, you got a point. Oh, hi. You're winning. Hi, Mandy. Mandy. What's up, Mandy?
02:38:46
Speaker
How are you? I'm okay. like when save this stream We need you to save the stream, the stream. Oh, God. I know it's a lot of pressure, Take over mandy we go to the stream. Wait a second. We be want need to take the stream. Glick, what did you do?
02:39:06
Speaker
He didn't do anything. That's why we need you to take over. This is your stream now? This is the Mandy stream. this is the man no pressure there we go that makes me happy look at me look at me you are the captain now the captain you are the captain now tickle for the stream that was good for once you were actually funny see but Yeah, that's the first time you laughed tonight. I know. Now, Bridgie, you've been snorting like you're trying to get back into cocaine, and you're talking about that you didn't laugh. but
02:39:50
Speaker
She did it again. She started up all the Wi-Fi connection. That's why she's on her phone. It's funny, but no, I don't do coke.
02:40:01
Speaker
Just to let everybody know. I have the notes for it. I have the nose for it, but like... You sure? Cause I figured maybe you had a deviated septum the way you were smoking. No, I pierced my septum with a guitar string.
02:40:19
Speaker
And that's what makes you snort? The actual fuck, Brittany. That's why she snorts. It might be. Do you even play guitar? its hard Yes. It's a note of the guitar. Every time she sneezes, she plays I'm not very good at it, but I know some songs. Oh, yeah. I can strum chords and pretend like I know I'm doing. No, no, no. Not like power chords. She can sneeze teen spirit from Nirvana.
02:40:45
Speaker
She can queef out teen spirit. fuck a I'm so proud of you Jenna, I thought it so funny He's been fucking killing it tonight dude No, the first song I learned was ah land la i i Wish You Were Here if you're happy and you know what clap your hands
02:41:14
Speaker
yeah What is that song? I'm not ashamed of being happy on this panel, okay? If you're happy and you know what happy is. I don't think I've heard of that song. With all being adults here, shouldn't that be if you're happy and you know it's like the cheeks?
02:41:28
Speaker
yes See, this is exactly why we need a man in our lives, people. God, I'm so happy she's here. Because I can leave.
02:41:41
Speaker
Oh my gosh. I'll be the sarcastic grandma of the bus. I don't mind playing that role. Oh, I'm just waiting for y'all to clap them cheeks, guys.
02:41:52
Speaker
Y'all clapping hands. Clap them cheeks. Let's we um You gotta build the anticipation challenge. You can DM her later. he into you Okay, whose body do I need to hide? Brittany, do you know what DM is?
02:42:10
Speaker
Um, it's a direct message, I know. okay. That's one acronym I do. Yeah. When Shauna's evolved, we call it dick mouth.
02:42:22
Speaker
See, I thought it's good for dick message, so. Whichever. Lightweight essay booty call. that um I just want to say dickhole, but that's not DM.
02:42:41
Speaker
You know what? You need to bet me off the farewell. oh Well, since the message would be coming to you, Britt, wouldn't it stand for dick me? No. I'm not interested. I'm not interested.
02:42:55
Speaker
You don't like dicks? I mean, I don't either, don't like dicks. i mean i don't either so Okay, well, if you don't want the dicks, is it for dike-sizing? No, I... I'm focusing? No, she wants the scissor with the pocket pussy.
02:43:14
Speaker
No, I don't want to do anything, honestly. Except myself. Focus on myself right now. but That's it. Oh, hell yeah. Masturbation could be, like, a whole exploration in itself. Well, that's even difficult right now. I'm just... and just I'm focusing on myself and you know.
02:43:35
Speaker
You do you, Lou. Yeah.
02:43:40
Speaker
Oh, thanks for sharing, Chris. Are you using your you're using your ah your energy and transmuting it into productive things? I'm trying to.
02:43:53
Speaker
mean, we don't know where you are. I've been working on it. I have definitely been working on Oh, look at them lizard nuts. oops Are there nuts on there? ah She's so excited to see those nuts. Wait, wait, where's the nuts? Where's the nuts?
02:44:13
Speaker
huh yes Oh, shit. She just snorted up your nuts, shaman. yeah There used to be nuts on there. Do feel the vibration? put that on? Just the nuts.
02:44:24
Speaker
Hmm.
02:44:27
Speaker
Teabagging is my favorite um thing. Teabagging is your hobby. I can't even like finish this. You guys want to see my senior high school picture? Oh, this ought to be good.
02:44:45
Speaker
Let's go. Right there. That's what it is. What the fuck? so and i I was a chick magnet. don't mean to brag. I'm sorry I'm on my phone I wish I could freakin bring it up. Yeah, I bet you were popular with the 13 to 15 year old crowd.
02:45:04
Speaker
Jedi thank you, now I'm around. I knew it, I knew it. God damn it. You know what? Everybody form a line if you want to get into my bedroom, okay? I know it's hot topic right Damn!
02:45:19
Speaker
Who told on me? Was it you Glick?
02:45:24
Speaker
about nelson I like I can't I can't wait mar yeah I want to get into Jedi's crib so bad but yeah I want to see how much fun it would be to rock his cradle Mandy's the hand that rocks the cradle okay they made a movie out of I am. And in the treetops, the greater woman.
02:45:55
Speaker
I wouldn't do good that to you anyway, Jedi. I'd fall asleep and you'd fall in love.
02:46:05
Speaker
Mandy, I already fell in love. What are you talking about? yeah he He talks about you all the time. He's like, where's Mandy at? look trying to give her a sex cc I'm trying to give her a sexy seizure right now. Look at this. That's every encounter Jedi. that ccz a <unk> And he falls in love. Don't feel special. No.
02:46:25
Speaker
Yeah, he used to say he loves me. Papa is a rolling stone. ah You catch feelings, that's your fault. be tune and now And now he laughs harder at Britney's. billpe i mean no he's moved on to Mandy already.
02:46:42
Speaker
I mean, yeah, like I said, Papa's a rolling stone. I love that sexy seizures. Sexy seizures.
02:46:53
Speaker
That's one of my favorite songs. Papa was a rolling stone. Rolling ho. Yeah, I know. I know. hors
02:47:03
Speaker
I hate you guys. Like, why are you- so Glick is so quiet and somber. Yeah, it's his show. And he's like, not even saying anything. He's dealing with some things, alright? What are you dealing with, Glick? Tell us about it.
02:47:22
Speaker
like know now about that pull come The minute said
02:47:36
Speaker
leon can you loseze to the and you please send the dryer down late
02:47:45
Speaker
That Pomeranian is like so masculine. That Chihuahua really taking their steroids. I feel like Shaman attacked me and attacked all the dogs over there. I'm really hungry.
02:47:59
Speaker
To be honest, i don't even think it's that think that Shaman's cat. He's got it all gassed up. He's like meow. Fucking you crab breeding again? Yeah.
02:48:11
Speaker
yeah i travel Meow, motherfucker.
02:48:19
Speaker
good that's That's a kitty with attitude. oh my Every pussy has attitude. What are you talking about, Jeddah? That's where the quinks come from. Mandy's speaking facts right now. okay man That's where the quinks come from.
02:48:36
Speaker
kind of Yeah, that's the steam lit now. that's the Yeah, that's the exhaust valve. The pressure. The pressure release valve. The pressure valve. Oh, shit. Don't start too much. You're going to queef so hard later. I just did.
02:48:57
Speaker
Oh, goodness. I just released some pressure. Oh, goodness.
02:49:03
Speaker
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. There's global warming in Brittany's neck of the woods. I just farted, really, honestly. It's hard to tell which hole it comes from sometimes. what Why? We're so fuller now.
02:49:18
Speaker
It could have been my uterus, it could have been my pee hole, could have been my asshole. What am I saying? need to stop talking. There's so many holes that it could have been.
Chaos, Control, and Group Dynamics
02:49:34
Speaker
It's the whole wide world. No, I'm too small. She basically said that she wallered out, she don't know where it came from.
02:49:46
Speaker
Hey guys, can we get some ah some some numbers in the chat? Which holes you normally come from? one Number one, number two, or number three? And three's the wild card.
02:49:57
Speaker
it's Just made me think of cat in the hat. Mandy, you need to get control of your damn panel, okay? Yeah, Mandy. What the fuck?
02:50:08
Speaker
Have you ever had amazing shirt and that amazing sense of humor and you just let things run rampant? Absolutely. Wow. She's an agent of chaos. I'm not your mama. That's kind of what makes Mandy a little bit hot. She just likes chaos.
02:50:26
Speaker
Well, you know what like chaos? I picked Glitz for a brother intentionally. Oh, yeah. i don't know what Yeah. Me too. It sucks.
02:50:40
Speaker
Glick, you're being a buzzkill tonight just by not saying a fucking word. it's good yeah i talked him in the page but Where hell did Johnny Bones come from? I know. well chair fucking He has a gift.
02:50:55
Speaker
He has a gift of showing up when we need him. How are we doing today? He was here before me. He just got done with his political rally. He had to fucking suppress his population.
02:51:06
Speaker
I was keeping my face off. He had to go deliver the shipment of cheese to all the grocery stores. sta government I about that. Call back.
02:51:18
Speaker
How are you growing an Amish beard? The government teeth and no-name crackers. I am so tired of these fucking Amish people around my town.
02:51:29
Speaker
Excuse the fuck, wow Okay, I was gonna go have a smoke, but I need to hear about this. yeah they get The fucking bigot. The literal horseshit. Bigot my fucking ass. I love them. There's like a little five and four-year-olds. No, no, no. It's because all the horses shit all over the fucking road, whoa and it's stuck in my fucking tires. They're gonna make you suck it up.
02:51:55
Speaker
Yo, horses' lives matter too. Yeah. bri You're really gonna pull that? You're really gonna pull that? What the fuck, Birdie? It's all the bullshit you put up with every single day. Bullshit every day and horse shit is what bothers you?
02:52:17
Speaker
Yes. that's a week I'd rather deal with cow shit. Wait, what? No. Horse shit is like, honestly, far as animal shit goes, horse shit's like the cleanest. It's just fucking grass that's stuck together. I'm tired of driving over I'm tired of driving over it. Well, at least you didn't step down.
02:52:37
Speaker
Shut the fuck up. Why is everybody against me right now? I feel attacked. and No, Brittany, no. like It could be worse. You could step in some lizard shit. I'd rather go to my granddaddy's farm and step in a fucking pile of cow shit than drive a... like No, no. Cow shit's worse than horse shit. No. I would rather shoot Brittany.
02:53:04
Speaker
Cow shit than drive my car that's not affecting me in any way, shape, or form. Drive my car across horses. here Well I have a pond right there I can just rinse my foot off. Drive your car into the pond and rinse your tires off. We do talk about any kind of shit on this show. Okay, Glick woke up. and gentlemen, Glick woke That's so fucking perfect. I'm so proud of you, Glick. Welcome to the conversation. That's the first funny joke we made all night. We've been streaming for hours now. I'm so proud of you, Glick. He really woke up. and just only took like three hours.
02:53:47
Speaker
three hours Guess what? Hold on for three more hours. He'll have another funny. I'm not going to be here. Britney's killing it. Yeah. Bringing the house down. At least she's speaking, Glick. At least she's speaking.
02:54:00
Speaker
fred he's killing it yes books bringing the house down
02:54:09
Speaker
me at least up be like at least he's speaking You're not taking care of your panel.
02:54:19
Speaker
So we somebody has to take over. We literally own see and shay fucking show we all sent Mandy a hundred bucks so she'd get up here and say yes. My panel is self-sustaining.
02:54:32
Speaker
I don't need to. created ecosystem. Yeah. This is Glick's bio dome.
02:54:44
Speaker
So, if you guys are interested in actual funny shit, come up to Wednesday for hump day ha ha's. Fuck off, bitch. For hump day ha ha's, where there's No panel, just voices and some weird, creepy old dude sitting beside Michael.
02:55:04
Speaker
I'm pretty sure he's... No, he's awesome. I actually have, like... He's fucking hilarious. Oh, shit. Shut the fuck up. You're really gonna talk mad shit about your fucking... You're imploding the network right now.
02:55:20
Speaker
You're gonna talk shit about your fucking people? Like, people that you're... and Seriously? Are you going to talk shit about me? Alright, I'm sending my application in.
02:55:32
Speaker
You're going to talk about me in three years? Deal with it. mr Be better. See, he's already butthurt about the fucking roast. He's not going to be able to handle it. so mad about the roast, Blake. Let's talk about this.
02:55:47
Speaker
Let's talk about it. Why are you mad about the roast? You agreed to it It's going to be fine. and You know how many times i've given people the opportunity to roast me on this show right now? Yeah, but you seem so scared.
02:56:01
Speaker
You're so scared. That's why you said that you were going to take the microphone away from us because you know everything that we're going to say.
02:56:13
Speaker
It's called you but her bitch it's called making you guys be bettered because you come with oslo a and ask for pa That's fine so you every ro is gonna have the low-hanging fruit you better hope they don't come with some more complexion I came up with some last night. I got some new shit. I'm not saying it. I'm saving it. I got some new shit
02:56:38
Speaker
I'm fucking pumped. Watch out, Glick. Wait, Glick, are you sober when you agreed to the roast?
Upcoming Roast and Dark Humor
02:56:44
Speaker
It's going be literal shit that I throw at him. Smack him in the face. You got pink eye now, motherfucker.
02:56:53
Speaker
and i I have given people like three different times the opportunity to do a roast to Glick on Saturday nights, and they have all failed epically. When? Michael and I talked about doing this roast on New Year's Eve.
02:57:08
Speaker
and i I feel like you agreed to it and you're regretting it now. No, because I've wanted it. for because that's all He totally is. He totally is. Every Saturday night, that's all I do is roast everybody. and they now they want Now I'm giving them their opportunity. everybody Yeah, well, but they now that you talk like this.
02:57:27
Speaker
But you forget that have microphone. At the end of the night, I'm the last one with a microphone. And I'm faster than the four of you combined. I don't give a fuck. don't have to worry about it. So how are you going to pull it?
02:57:40
Speaker
Bitch. Well, you know how a roast works, bitch? Yeah, you turn me on. Whoever you guys are roasting, at the end, they get the microphone and they get to try get the last word. It's going to be epic.
02:57:59
Speaker
That's fine. You right i mean have to write stuff down and practice it. i No, and no, no. I'm not practicing anything. I'll come off the top of my head and I'll embarrass you guys in two minutes. I can't wait to see it I'll probably just be snorting cocks the whole time. but You do it i know yeah there's everybody Everybody has low-hanging fruit. That's the thing. but That's obviously going to be bright. But at the same time, there's going to be shit that you're not expecting. Who the fuck is this? What's going on, bro? I hate shaman.
02:58:43
Speaker
Like how many times have, like when they roasted Tom Brady, how many deflated ball jokes have gone around for the years? Oh, I still say it. But Tom Brady roast, they went on him about the deflated balls, but they made it funny.
02:58:57
Speaker
It wasn't the same washed up, used. where Don't be so afraid. It's going to be fine. Your balls are big enough. In other words, he can make fun of his beard. Just make sure it's a funny joke. Yeah, make sure it's a funny joke.
02:59:13
Speaker
Kayla told me. Honestly, every unfunny joke is just going to fuel into Glick's response at the end, and he's going to make you guys look worse. So you better come with your fucking A game. No pressure. No pressure. pressure No pressure.
02:59:27
Speaker
You get one shot at the king. Don't miss. You only get one shot. You get one shot at the king because if you miss, your ass is gone. And he's already fucking on one.
02:59:39
Speaker
Who is this guy? I told Kayla... Oh, that's that guy. I told Kayla... I can't see you, is it?...jump up and start giving everybody stunners on stage like Stone Cold would do.
02:59:53
Speaker
Stone Cold! You gotta get the glass to break you Oh, yeah, ah I get it. And I have the Smoking Skull Champion. Of course he would fucking bring up wrestling, you fucking twat.
03:00:04
Speaker
It's either wrestling or football. my God, you fucking me-head. mean, I'm me-head, but Jason can take at least 10 times an episode, so, you know. He is red-blooded American male, so there is that. ro all right, you just came in one year so. I recognize I haven't even started yet. What is that?
03:00:30
Speaker
what is Live left toaster bath. Fuck yeah, that's what I'm down for. Yeah. We're going to nonsense toaster.
03:00:43
Speaker
Nonsensical nonsense ah toaster bath bombs is what we were going to do. all I'm still waiting for mine, bitch. is That'll be an actual toaster, K-Mag. That's fine. Can we hook it up to 240? Yeah, man. We get the job done. Or maybe 480 even. I don't care whichever one happens. Flip the breaker down the whole block.
03:01:09
Speaker
you know If we're going to do that, we might as well run. jarishhi We're going to run some 960 on there. You know what I mean? feel you. I feel you. I'm going to say run direct line right off the fucking transformer down to the toaster. Let's see what happens. Stick the electric line right into the bathtub and fill it for you.
03:01:30
Speaker
No toaster needed. As long as it's um time like a 550 volt or kV volt line, i don't give a fuck. Cut out the middleman, bro. Go straight to it, dude.
03:01:41
Speaker
fantastic Climb up the pole and grab onto it with my teeth and see how long I can hold on. Whoa, whoa. we still talking about an execution I think so.
03:01:52
Speaker
ah Well, I mean, I was talking about an execution, but. clean the Oh, grabbing it with your teeth. Yes. It's going to get going. It would very helpful right now.
03:02:08
Speaker
I like mild electrocution. Are you having a bad night? in june I have had a bad day, but... um And now you're here dealing with a bunch of jackasses. Look at you. over-dead.
03:02:23
Speaker
Jackass. meethead Sorry, you guys. hope you finish jerking off the BFP because it's done now.
03:02:32
Speaker
I have to go soon, though. I'm not staying up all fucking night. We're probably going to leave right at the same time as a coincidence. means I'm going to leave at the same time too just to make it weird. yeah okays Somebody's getting lizard balls on her forehead. <unk> She loves
03:02:58
Speaker
lizard baggger yeah report I get to customize the default so it'll be this.
03:03:07
Speaker
yeah No one's ever customized the default. sure all right Yeah. Alright, yeah, I'm gonna head out, Glick, if that's okay with you.
03:03:21
Speaker
Do not give her permission. Don't do it. Actually, I don't give fuck. You're allowed to fucking stay here. Why are you asking me for permission? I don't fucking know if you need, because you haven't been talking.
03:03:38
Speaker
Barely. like Yeah, you're pretty shy and she doesn't want you to feel comfortable. Yeah, Glick, defund out your tongue or something? Maybe. Well, thank you for Shaman and Lazy Jedi for coming out and Johnny Bongs, you guys are the best. Oh, you're welcome.
03:03:59
Speaker
No, you're the best. You're the best. Thanks for having I'm the best. i friends I got a point. and boom Anyways. and like that was ah That was out of the... Shut the fuck up, Click. I was giving you fucking props!
03:04:17
Speaker
Oh, say it again. Say it again. Say it again. Say it loud and say it proud, Click. Say loud proud, Click. Say it loud and say it loud for the people in the back. Please. That was weak sauce. Now i'm taking the point away. No. No, take it. No, no. Take it. Just limited it.
03:04:35
Speaker
umitch No, get give me some love. ba Yeah, I guess you i guess you're alright.
03:04:46
Speaker
I'll take it. Glick can giveth and Glick can taketh away. Oh, I don't like that. not even don't like that. I agree. Ass. Fuck. Go
03:05:02
Speaker
pictures You just made me fucking have a Tourette's thing. And yeah.
Comedic Plans and Group Influence
03:05:08
Speaker
yeah Anyways, everybody have a great night. I love you. He gives people Tourette's.
03:05:15
Speaker
I mean, you would have Tourette's too if you had to be around him long enough. so Saturday nights have to come with a warning. and No, well that's one of the things. that Bright lights and Tourette's. and On New Year's Eve, he keeps saying that he's going to sit on the fucking crowd and try to make me tics. I'm not going to fuck with your set. I'm only going to fuck with you when you roast Because I'm scared. of Yeah, you're a fucking ball sex. It's after the stand-up.
03:05:46
Speaker
it's after the stand up I'm scared. So it'll be, I'm opening stand-up. I mean, bitch.
03:05:59
Speaker
What one day? ship It's New Year's Eve. I'm opening, and then it will be, shut the fuck up. Yeah, i like what Jedi said. It is me opening and then fucking snotty comedy and then motherfucking Michael and then it's motherfucking Rob Coleman. never and then God, Jesus. you guys ever heard of any You're worse than women. I fucking swear. Why do I hang out with you guys?
03:06:38
Speaker
Listen, I'm sorry, but I'm ovulating right now, okay? I can't help it. you're Me too! You're glycolating? Can I just not, like, say what is happening on New Year's Eve because somebody asked?
03:06:52
Speaker
You did! Don't do it. Don't do it. You're talking over me. I'm okay. Whatever. Fuck off. you Do it. No, do it. I'm taking my application back. Do it. hey Do it.
03:07:04
Speaker
Do it. Do Period. Blame him. Blame him. Blame There's four hims. which who Which him or are we blaming the lizard? The meathead? The default character? I would rather stay with the fucking meathead and instead of the lizard balls right now. Damn it, Brittany. Then you can glick off, okay?
03:07:24
Speaker
I was slidding. Then you can glick off. The lizard balls, thats good they'll never fill you up, but they'll never let you down. guys gonna have her for a happy week?
03:07:38
Speaker
and and and You know I'm playing.
03:07:44
Speaker
Anyways, but yeah, no, I have to get off of here, because... ah Brittany, your interview is Monday, okay? at What time? You can dress casual. Every time you show up, I'll be here the whole time.
03:07:58
Speaker
He's like, yay, take her away! But no, Michael said I'm not fucking going anywhere. You're not going on the Lazy and Chama show. Don't be a Gliktard, okay?
03:08:11
Speaker
I'm not a Gliktard. I'm with Michael on this. I can just fire you. list hi are you Gliko can come over too. go ahead and fucking fire me. I'll start my own shit. The Britney effect.
03:08:25
Speaker
And an idiot I have a feeling that's gonna go the way that everybody else's shit has gone since they've left. It's gonna go smoothly. o i mean That's gonna bring them all in. fact they You know the difference between her and everyone else that's left, though, Glick? Okay, yeah, no, I have to go. but yeah Everyone else has a cock and balls.
03:08:50
Speaker
Okay, my last name is Cox, so... ah Yeah, I guess it's not much different. Well, I guess it's all the same in the end.
03:09:01
Speaker
Exactly. In the end. So, I guess back and you he's saying you don't have any balls. You know. really whatever well no over Everybody else has had a Glicken Balls.
03:09:15
Speaker
No balls. a or I got my... just yeah I got neutered. oh Oh, shit. That's the Glickening. oh Oh my fuck.
03:09:31
Speaker
like scholar like good dollar real place in here my Let me tell you something brother. When you feel the glickening. oh That means your balls are gone.
03:09:42
Speaker
free much i feel like he needs like a wrestling belt that says the glickening. I can make that happen. Then do it. was going to say he's got like 37 to say the champ and that's fucking lie.
03:09:58
Speaker
Yeah, true. What does call us? She's like, you got this, champ. It's okay. Keep trying harder, buddy. Keep the shit up, champ. Yeah. I'm surprised you're still alive.
03:10:13
Speaker
It's like the pat on the back after the bad game you had, you know? It's like, yeah. Everybody has bad game. doing You just gotta flick it off. You gotta flick it off. Can we...
03:10:25
Speaker
je i Like Taylor Swift said, click it off.
03:10:31
Speaker
Okay, you have some good shit tonight. You're not always funny, but not sometimes you have some old liners. Alright, I'll be right back, y'all. Who are you talking about? Like... What? I feel like he doesn't have comedy. Like, he's not funny.
03:10:52
Speaker
Well, he he was worse. We gotta wait. He's got about another hour and a half before he gets another funny, remember? Yeah, yeah. We set a timer earlier. yeah i agree i want to hear and i want to hear this. He would do better at crowd work because he just doesn't know funny shit.
03:11:14
Speaker
He'd come off the top of your head and not have to write stuff down. and practice in the mirror. Okay, and? What does that have to do with anything? It's like freestyle rap.
03:11:24
Speaker
I feel like freestyle rappers are better than... No, that's people that don't know. I do crowd work. That is one thing that Michael and I have a difference with. you I want to tell you some of my jokes right now. Put your motherfucking glicks up and follow me. I hate you right now. I hate you, Jedi. Jedi.
03:11:46
Speaker
How many times have you done stand-up comedy, Brittany? Uh, three times. No, you are a professional. No, I'm not a professional. Not at all. And I've done improv for a little bit.
03:12:00
Speaker
That's a good trick. I do improv. Can you stop? I'm leaving. I'm... No. I've done improv for the last four years. Well, decade or more. You have? You have?
03:12:15
Speaker
We have talked about this before and you never said that you have done improv. What the fuck? I've never done improv like I've done improv. Thank you, baby. In an improv group. Literally, for the all my live streams are just improv.
03:12:32
Speaker
She's giving me the... I need to go to bed. I'm done with this. topic i need to go to bed
03:12:40
Speaker
i'm done with this It's improv. She's talking more about like... That show would do scary. Seriously. Alright,
03:12:54
Speaker
all right if you guys want to find out about comedy, and show up on Wednesdays. Haha, hump days. i need I need a town. ah I need you to shut the fuck up.
03:13:07
Speaker
i'm gonna improv it. My words. I love you. hold on. arms dude If you want to find out about comedy, look at Glick's face. Oh, God.
03:13:20
Speaker
I can't. Yeah, I'm going to go. can Glick off. He's been saying that for like 20 minutes. Okay, bye. He's hanging on. Bye. I'm not. I'm done. Thank you guys for coming out.
03:13:35
Speaker
You're welcome. Thanks for coming out, everybody. Appreciate you.